Freeland Tribune Established 1888. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY* BY Till TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY. Limited OFFICII MAIN STREET ABOVE CESTUI. FRKELAND, PA. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: On© Year $1.50 Blx Months 75 Four Months .. .50 Two Mouths 25 The date which the subscription is paid to Uon tne address label of each paper, the ©hange of which to a subsequent date be tomes a receipt for remittance. Keep th© ttgures in advance of the present date. Re- Eort promptly to this office whenever paper i not received. Arrearages must be paid when subscription is discontinued. Make all monty orders, chucks, etc,,payabU to the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. Buflßia keeps on building railroada nd ordering American cars and en gines for them with admirable enter prise. The last red man representing "the Delawares" is named Kiankia—"The Gentle Sigh." How pathetically ap propriate! Many things are cited as the cause of insanity which are not true causes. \ Insanity is a disease which reveals the weak spot in the mind of a pa- j tient. Money is good, aud the getting ol money is necessary. And yet now and then conscientious money-getters receive their highest inspiration from men and women who reuounce wealth and all its works and ways. An American missionary writes from Yokohama, Japan, that the old ling lish temper aud habit of offensive su periority to all things American have disappeared. The American who has 'raveled in mauy lands is grateful for I this change. We often say that this is a little world. A few liuudred thousand peo ple who are in the habit of traveling meet each other everywhere. But the study of geography forced upon the public by recent events shows that' there are vast tracts of country where j commonwealths and empires are grow- j ing of which the ordinary newspaper reader has little knowledge. Football is an unmixed aud fully developed survival of the heroic age of war and games. Then war, un- ; sophisticated by chemistry or me chanics, had the direct simplicity of a game. Then games,* undebauched by purses aud gate money and done in the service of the State, had some of the stately dignity of war. Both were that naked strain of human force against human force, organized by intelligence but not aided by inven tion, which still thrills the blood in an ago grown a bit unresponsive to much that moved simpler societies. The moralists who have been warn ing London's Vanity Fair for years with fine irony and cynical frankness "hat it needed nothing so much as a thorough shaking up now have their way. The carpet knights of smart so ciety have gone to the front like brave Englishmen, and are showing the old time traits of heroic eudurauee, devo tion to country aud manly valor. If their lives have seemed aimless and vapid in West End clubs, they are now thoroughly iu earnest; and are settling down to rough aud dangerous work with the same fortitude and in vincible spirit by which an empire has been created and maintained. The Engineer, of London, discuss ing the relative merits of American and British mechanics, asks why it is, as proved, that a workman in the United States will do "almost twice as much'' as a man iu its country. It says the statement to the effect that the former is hustled and bullied by foremen is destitute of truth. "The sooner English employers address themselves to finding an answer, and, if possible, introducing the changes which are necessary to augment the turnout of the English workman until it equals that of the American artisan, the better. In that way, and in that onlv, can privation be found." ! i rit . out .ur > (JorMt* The first cornet—not counting an cient modifications of the Grecian zona or girdle—was introduced into France by Catherine de Medici. It was a strange affair, and fashioned after the style of a knight's cuirass. The frame work was entirely of iron, and the vel vet, which decorated the exterior only, served to hide a frightful and cumber some article of torture, in the days that followed ladies of the court laced themselves frightfully and wore the dreadful prison night and day in their efforts to obtain what they considered ' a perfect figure. Ostrich farms arc a familiar sight about Durban. South Africa. BEAR ON. Oh, never from thy tempted heart Let thine integrity depart! When Disappointment fills thy cup, Undaunted, nobly drink it up; Truth will prevail, and Justice show Her tardy honors, sure though slow. Bear on! Our life la not a dream. Though often such Its mazes seem; We were not born for lives of ease, Ourselves alone to aid and please. To each a daily task la given, A labor which shall lit for Heaven; Whoa Duty calls let love grow warm; A.mid the sunshine and the storm. With Faith life's trials boldly breast, And come a conqueror to thy rest. Bear on. —St. Anthony's Monthly. gp(©iG(©<eiei©^ofo*©ie<©K3e!o^^©ioK^eK>#oK^ |Ths Penniless Millionaire.J & BY CAPTAIN MUSGROVE DAVIS. * * (Charles O. Shapsrd.) * CAN'T do it; no, { ■ sir. I'm very sorry, but it is agaiust Mj£M |r orders." ELM'/i "But this is an v '/ exceptional case." "Oh, yes; they [*%= nle a " ' elce P'' on " a '' these eases, but just the same, I if. have been left in t ' le ' nto ' l so °f' eu * <? that I positively decliuo to repeat the experiment." "But I will leave you my watch and rings, and I assure you that I tell nothing but the truth." "I'm not disputing your word, sir; but I am forbidden to take such thiugs, and I say agaiu, it can't ho done. I have my instructions, and I shall be obliged to put you in the steerage. You say you have $1(1. Well, give me that." The money was handed over. "Boy, show this man to the steer age steward." Such was the conversation I over heard between Purser and passeuger aboard an Atluntic greyhound on our first day out from New York. Natur ally I glanced a second tirno at the hapless passeuger as without another word he turned and walked with dig nity past me toward the steorage. It was evident he had no intention of appealing to the Captain; nor would that recourse have beeu likely to avail him. for every year matters of this kind are loft more and more to the Purser, his superior officer being suf ficiently occupied with the navigation of the ship and the government of the crew. The Parser and I wore old friends and traveling companions; indeed, I was at that moment on my way to his familiar little paneled and portrait lined room for a bit of a visit. There fore I felt free to ask him what the row was. "Oh, the same old game of no money; came on board at the last mo ment in response to a cable; will pay when he gets ashore, and so forth. Not ranch! Been sold too often." "But, Kenahaw, that man's face in-! spires me with great confidence. He' looks like a gentleman, and he bore j himsolf like a thoroughbred. Didn't i you notice it?" "Yes, yes; but that's the dodge. T ! know 'em. Don't you waste good sym pathy on that fellow. The more gen tlemanly looking, the greater rascals, generally." "Well," I said, "tell me his name, anyway." "Oh, certainly; Kiug." At length I rose aud went on deck, i It was a glorious afternoon. The ship ; was bowling along at the rate of twenty ; knots an hour, u fine breeze was blow ing, aud the salt air acted liko cham pagne upon my nerves and spirits. Passing forward and over the bridge, I reached the forecastle deck. I was really looking for King, but with no definite plan regarding him. Sure enough, there he was, ;seated on an anchor-stock and staring ahead into space. Stepping to his side, I said: "Do you feel at home hero, Mr. King?" The man turned, exclaiming with wide-open eyes: "Good Heavens! Do you know me?" "No," i answered; "but somehow I want to." "Well," was the reply, "yon seem to know my name, at ali events. May I ask you to explain yourself ? Are you in the steerage, too?" "No," said I; "and if you won't think me impertinent, 1 want to know why you are." King looked at me for a few seconds with a strange expression, and then answered: "I'll swear I'm not here for amusement. Have you au object in asking, or are you simply gratifying idle curiosity?" "Mr. King," said I, "I may he a fool, and yon may he an adventurer, hut I don't believe no. I came out of sincere interest. I heard your brief but pointed conversation with the Pur ser, and I can't get you off my mind. That there is something peculiar in your position is evident; that there is a good explanation, I believe. To show my good faith I give you my card. Tell me what's wrong." Immediately liis glance fell to the deck. He remained thus for half a minute or more, and when he raised his great, brown, honest, manly eyes to mine there was just a suspicion of moisture in them, although his only remark was; "Well, I'll be hanged if I understand this sortof kindness." Then, after a few moments' hesita tion: "Captain Davis, X am in a false position. I am abundantly able to travel in the cabin; but. no matter what I have somowhei e else, I haven't anything here. I won't even tell you who I am, for you would not know but that I was lying. I don't blame the Purser, for X presume I should do just as he did if our positions were re versed. I have nothing to ask, for I •an stand these seveu days. I have roughed it pretty well iu different parts of the world, and tuy present ac commodations, I must confess, are palatial compared with some I have had. The real hardship is to be sua peeted of sailing under false colors. However, as I say, I can stand those few days. Why, during the war a Major-General would* have beeu de lighted with such quarters." "Were you in the army, theu?" J queried. "Yes; were you?" "I was." "What regiment?" "Fifteenth New York." "Great Scott! Why, I was in the Twenty-third myself. Did you know Colonel Barney?'' "I should say T did!" "Well, well; sit right down. I'll j tell you all I know. We've something j to go npou. The Fifteenth! The deuce i you say. How is old Colonel Ran-' soia?" By the time T had satisfied his in terest in the old Colonel aud others of the regiment, King seemeC *>fel that he could talk to me without reserve. "I am," said he, "a partner in dia mond mines at the Cape of Good Hope, whither I drifted after the war. Yes terday afternoon at half-past three, in the Astor House restaurant, a messen ger banded me a delayed cable mes sage telling of a shipment of rough diamonds which I must meet at Hat ton Garden, London, without fail, on the twelfth. The steamer was to sail at four; I was alone; the banks were closed, aud my hotel was half an hour away. By the time I had made up my mind what to do and had tele graphed au order to have my traps sent on by next steamer it was twenty minutes to four. I took a cab and reached the pier just five minutes bo-; fore the plank was hauled iu, and hero I am. I have, or bad, nineteen dol- j lars. I told the Purser sixteen be- • cause I must have something to buy | of the stewards enough linen to last me across. "Now, my friend, I ask uothiug. I have only told an old comrade tho truth, strange us that truth may seem. ! If nothing worse than this ever hap pens to mo I sha'n't suffer; only, it is j not very amusing." It happened that I had ;i cabin to j myself. I went to the Purser aud paid I the extra sum which would enable mo • to share it with King. Kens haw as-1 sured me that I was an idiot, but I i didn't believe him. I was convinced I through aud through of the man's! honesty. It was with considerable j difficulty, though, that I finally in duced him to become my guest for the voyage. I found my cabin-mate a most agreeable companion, and was truly sorry to part with him at Liverpool, j There I bought his railway ticket to j London and bade him good-by. All ' he said to me was; "I shall not be profuse iu thnuks now. Ido thank you. however, aud you may possibly hear from me." I did hear from him. Hardly liml i I arrived at my destination when a draft came for the full amount of my advance, and with it a note contain ing au urgent iuvitatiou to diue at the Voyagers Club in London on a certain j evening, and asking particularly that 1 J call at No. 9 Hatton Garden during the afternoon of the appointed day. | When, accordingly, the cab put me down at the designated number, T • found myself confronted by a heavy j iron grating, behiud which stood a man, armed and in uniform. I named , my friend of the diamond mines. j "You are right, sir," was the re- , assuring answer; "but will you kindly ! give me your card?" A boy hurried away with it, and I heard door after door clank behind ; him as iu a prison. Presently he re- j turned, accompanied by Mr. King, who, on sceiug me. exclaimed: "I wanted to make sure it was you. , Come iu." The iron door creaked on its hinges, j and we passed on through a succession j of similar barriers until we reached a suug but prisonlike office. Here I saw strewn ou a table one or two quarts of rough. black-lookitig pebbles, and I was informed that I was looking ou the very shipment of rough diamonds which hud beeu tho j cause of King's sudden sailing. Then ft* out the safe were brought j for my iuspeQtiou diamonds, cut and uncut, in quantities that [ should hardly have imagined to exist outsido I of King Solomon's mines. We dined at the Voyagers royally. | King nearly killed me with kinduess before he would let me go, ami one of the purest diamonds J have ever j seen now sparkles on my wife's linger | us his parting acknowledgment of an unexpected service.—Saturday Even ing Post. Resigned tle Vice-Presidency. It would probably puzzle most peo ple to tell how a president or vice president could resign. After writing his resignation, what shall he do with it? This law, which was passed by Congress in 1792, lays down the mo dus operandi: "The only evidence of a refusal to accept, or of a resignation j of the office of president or vice-presi dent, shall be an instrument in writ-1 ing declaring the same and subscribed by the person refusing to accept or resigning, as the case may be, and de livered into the office of the Secretary of State." Vice-President John C. j Ca'.lioun resigned on December 28, j 1832, and his resignation is now on file at Washington in the Department lof the Secretary of State.—Bostou ' Transcript. Tliourtnntl* Killed by Wild Animal*. More than twenty-live thousand per sons were killed by wild animals and snakes in India in 1898. Nearly a thousand deaths are ascribed to tigers ' and u large number to man-eating l wolves. Lord Curzon bus directed that special measures be taken to ex-' terminate these particular pests. I I NEW YORK FASHIONS. J H Designs For Costumes That Have Be- |j | come Popular in the Metropolis. ; NEW YORK CITY (Special).—Keseda green lias become more fashionable than ever and is considered especially elegant in combination with brown. A MORNING GOWN. This becoming house gown is of figured reseda green wool with flounces of burnt sienna taffeta lightly j embroidered. The little girl's flock is cltnlli. Green, by the way, is securing for j itself quite a nice fat slice of popular | favor, and has serious inclinations j towards running itself in dangerous rivalry with brown. A dark olive tone, in a very line, highly finished | face cloth, told an attractive tale in a severely tailor-built coat and skiit costume lean recently. The coat was almost an Eton, with just the slightest presouee of spado fronts, that were thrown back to the waist by revers of pale blue panne, run round the edge with three or four rows of Tom Thumb black and white silk fringe. As the skirt was lifted the wearer revealed glimpses of a pale blue silk petticoat, and a round toque of tucked blue panne, its brim artistically trailed ' ' DAINTY WAISTS FOB HOME WEAB. " over on the left side with Russian violets, completed a rather more than usually attractive tout ensemble. L'VefthenliiK L'P MII Old Wai.it. Fashion is kind to those whose fancy waists have lost their pristine freshness. All sorts of dainty addi tions may be made to them, which will make them look like new. Three ruses to this end are showu iu the large engraving. One clever woman turned a high-necked gown into one appropriate for home wear by (tutting away the throat and draping about her shoulders a handsome silk crepe shawl, which she fastened with an old-fashioned cameo brooch, an heir loom in the family. The Priecilla iilco effect was very pretty and qnaint. The lace shoulder drapery, with frills and rut-in ribbon, is very hand some and should he used only with a waist of silk or other rich material. The tie and bolt bowed to match are very fashionable. They cau be changed frequently aud give the effect of a change of costume. A Clotli Costume u NrceMity. In spite of coats ami skirts, an en tire cloth costume remains a necessity in every wardrobe. There ure so many bewitching little short jaokets that can be worn with any gown that it is very hard to resist buying them. They are almost without exception in the Eton shape at the back, but with long tabs in front, are made of differ ent colors in cloth, two shades of gray, the lighter shade beiug used iu the rovers, collar and cutis. In blue they have facings of darker blue velvet, and an outline of black eatiu making the re vers still larger. Then there are the short velvet coats, of which mention has been made before, and a few—as yet only a very few—of black cloth, entirely covered with small steel heads, and made with black satin le vers heavily embroidered in steel aud i*t. The Widening of Skirt*. Tf the contemplated widening of skirts is really seriously thought of, too much cannot be said regarding outdoor garments, for nothing can possibly be narrower or more sheath like than their actual cut and appear ance. The long, shapeless coat form is the most fashionable, aud is but little wider at the foot tliau at the shoul- ders, where it tits as closely as possi ble. For this garment there is a perfect rage, and with reason, for it has a most elegant and stylish appearance. I.ac Couitilnail With Cloth. Lace jackets to be worn with cloth skirts, lace waists and cloth sleeves, and lace capes and cloaks are among the latest devices on which money can he spent in providing an up-to-dat< trousseau. The combining of lace with cloth is very effective, and adds much to the beauty of the broadcloth gowns made of colored cloths. It is rather too sharp a contrast to put white lace with black cloth, and the black lace, no matter how heavy it is, bus not at all the same look. But a smart little waist to wear with a black cloth gown that is lined with yellow is made of yellow crepe de Cnine trimmed with three rows in ths front j and the back of black Chantilly lace, caught together, each band of the lace, with black silkcord fastened with tiny black buttons. Flower* :ti<l Feather*. Masses of flowers must come to be i tlie thing. The designs of the past two or three seasons have discouraged J the belief in flower?, but from this ; very fact alone there is enough to build ou to show that the coming sea sou will be a flower season. Fur I* the Huge. Fur is the present rage, and all; hats have as much sable, mink, chin- j chilla and marten as the wearer can af ford. Cloth Coat For a Girl. The long wrap is the thing for the , young girl. Pelisses that cover the j entire costume are the rage among the fashionable. These garments are ! made from the plainer meltons, stitched - simply around and buttoned across the front with straps that extend across the fastening and button nearer the side of the garment with large pearl buttons, to the elaborate con fections of chenille-embroidered cloth cut in several tiers, simulating four j separate coats, one overlapping the j other. The edges of each of these false coats are cut out iu design and em broidered with chenille in the same tone of rich biscuit. Beneath the chenille embroidery appears a band of ' gray chinchilla fur, also formed in contour following the shape of the coat edge. The front of this garment has a stole of cliiuchilla aud the collar is a broad revers of the same fur. The entire i inside double-effect of cream chiffon, with antique lace embroidered with ! small seed pearls, further enriches this garment. This, of course, may be used as a visite, theatre or after- ' uoon reception wrap, where it is not _ CLOTH CHINCHILLA COAT, expected that the garment ueed be i removed. The entire gamut of shape, design i and color is exhausted in making I these long individual affair*. KINC LOVELL'S VALUABLES. Dl* Horses Shot nnri His Other Kflectfl Humeri After the Old Gypay a Death. The King of the Gypsies passod away with the death of cltl Seth Lov ell, at Sharp's Hotel, Forty-eighth and ; Market streets, on Monday night, says the Philadelphia -Record. All of his belongings—wagons, harness, clothes, ! linen and ornaments, some rare, some j beautiful, all valuable, were heaped together in a huge pile on the lot back j of the hotel, well saturated with oil and set on lire. The seven wagon* | thus destroyed were worth over SSOO each. They were miniature dwellings, J und were fitted up inside with the most exquisite furnishings imagina ble. Forty sets of gaudy harness ! were burned, along with iunumerablo articles designed for domestic use. Lovell and his tribe had made no j less than four trips around the world. ! The old man, who claimed to be nearly 1 100 years of age, although ho scarcely ; looked over sixty-five or seventy, al ! ways carried large sums of money with him, and the jewelry worn by Queen : Lovell, a woman of some seventy years, j is not only very valuable, but remark ably beautiful, j The Arabian horses which drew the , regal van of the Lovells were led to | the side of the burning pile and delib : erately killed by ltonald Kaey, who I seemed to be conducting the weird I ceremonies under the personal direc tion of Queen Lovell, who would not I leave the spot until the last thing I owned or used by her departed lord j had been given to the flames. As the ! fire died down and the great crowd ! passed from the scene, the old woman 1 and the members of the tribe wrapped themselves in their blankets, and, j stretching out on the ground, went | peacefully to sleep with their feet I close to the charred remains of all that belonged to their dead kiug. Queen Lovell refused to say any , thing concerning the siugular per : formance beyond the single expression i 44 Tis our way." She has ordered a j new outfit of wagons, and four uew | horses will be secured for her van, ! and as soon as they arc ready, the I tribe will leave Philadelphia and never j appear here agaiu under any circum i stances. j The burial of Kiug Lovell was a | very simple affair. The tribe asscm-' j bled about the grave aud chanted sov-' j eral unintelligible odes uad left the | place before even the first spadeful of j i earth had been thrown into the grave, j The period of mourning for the kiug I will cover one year. I'roaerving Clothe* In the Tropics, j A good deal of amusement has been 1 caused by the fact that Senora Agui j naldo packed her clothes in barrels 1 j instead of in trunks. She is evideuly ! ! a frugal woman and knows how to i I preserve her dresses and other wear ling apparel. In tropical climates it is always difficult to preserve cloth ing, shoes and other articles of wear ing apparel from the dampness, especially in the rainy season. It has been the usual thing for officers of the United States army in going to Manila, and also to Southern ports even in this country, to take their uniforms aud woolen clothing in tin boxes or cases which could bo sealed, j Several officers now at Manila have I written home that although they car ried their woolen uniforms with tbem, I they had never had them oat of their tin cases since their arrival in the Philippines. The reason for that is that woolen clothing becomes mouldy in twenty-four hours in the Philip ! pine hot, damp climate, aud hence I the officers wear their kahki uniforms almost exclusively. If the United States army officers have found out that their find clothiug mildew?, cer | tainly Mrs. Aguiualdo, who has lived 1 there all her life knew that the climate was bad for her finery, and so she packed it away in pitch lined barrels to keep it from the atmosphere, and therefore the United States soldiers ! found barrels of clothiug instead of! trunks.—Washington Correspondence | New York Mail and Express. Type of the Now College l*reftidont. j Within the last few months the num ber of accessions of new college Presi i dents have been extraordinary. We have Hadley at Yale, Harris at Am herst, Faunce at Brown, Wheeler at California, Miss Hazard at Wellesley, Barrows at Obcrlin, McLauo at lowa ! State, Merrill at Colgate, Thompson , at Ohio State, Super at Ohio. Tap pen | at Miami, Freshwater at Baldwin, i lCauc at Wabash, our own Ayers, and, last of all, Holden at Wooster. ! The old-fashioned college President was expected to be an all-around man. i He must be a profound scholar, u. clergyman aud an expert in human na ' ture. Under the pressure of the times j a multitudo of men. if asked for the j prime qualification of a college Presi dent, would reply, 44 He must be a first class business man. " The man of affairs is at the front. Dr. Holden of Wooster has started I right. He has announced gifts ol $25,000 for a library building and SIO,OOO as a starter for a now chair during the first six weeks. This is in accordance with the new style ol being a college President. The ex ample is recommended to the trustees of less enterprising institutions.—Cin ciunati Commercial Tribune. Pifitnl-S;iber For French Soldier*. Proposals are being entertained by the French military authorities for a new n-eapon called the pistol saber. It is an ordinary saber provided with a small firearm lodged in the hilt. On encountering a resistaucs .surface the blade recedes and discharges the pis tol, a recoil of about one-tenth of an iueh being all that is necessary. The shot will penetrate a steel breast plate. The new weapon will weigh only n third more than the or dinary saber, which, of course, when the pistol is not loaded, can be em ployed in the usual way THE WAR CORRESPONDENT. An Apocryphal Fpiftode of the ISonr-llrib leh Struggle ltrporteri by Puck. "Halt!" said Colonel Sir Grahame Cholmondeley-Carew, of the Bombiy Fusiieers, in a commanding tone. There was no need to speak so im periously. The troops were tired toiling up the side of the mountain, and they would have been glad to halt at any time within the past two hours. Hut Colonel Sir Grahame Cholmonde ley-Carew was accustomed to com mand, and he had acquired the habit cf talking like that. "I think," he said to Major Sir Angus MacLareu Murgatroyd-Mac- I.eod, "it will be wise to send for ward a reconuoitering party. The Boers may have taken up a position at the base of the mountain aud 1 should prefer to have them try their infernal marksmanship on a recon uoitering party." "Just so," said the Major; "it is well, in this blarsted country, dinna ye ken, to find out what ye'rn up against. Ye'll pardon the expression. Colonel—l picked it up from the cor respondent of the New York Daily Hustler." "I have heard of the—aw—gentle man," said the Colonel, "but I have n't met him." Hut just then a wild eyed man clambered rapidly up the side of the mountain. "What the mischief does this mean?" he said to the Colonel. "Why stand paltering here when .the foe is before us?" Tlia Colonel regarded him with a hauteur that is seldom found outside of novels designed for boarding sohool consumption. "Who in thunder are you?" te in quired. The wild-eyed man returned the hauteur on the spot, with sixty per cent, intorest. "I'm the correspondent of the New York Hustler," said he. The Colonel, being an old Indian campaigner, didn't lose his nerve, though it was plainly not iuthe same class with that of the correspondent. "I must humor this maniao," he said to himself. Thon, speakiug to tho correspond ent, he said: "My friend, am I to un derstand that you are running this campaign?" "Snre!" said the correspondent. "That's what the editor sent me hero for. The situation is just this. I cabled my people, yesterday, that we were on the eve of a big battle. I've got New York excited. The people are standing this minute in crowds, in front of the bulletin boards, waiting for nows, I feel it in my bones that Extra No. 11 is going to press. And you halt your regiment and dare to disappoint the readers of the Daily Hustler!" "But," romonstrated the Colonel, "you don't want me to lead my men to possible slaughter. I want to recon noiter before we attack. I take it you are not anxious to be shot." "That's where you're wrong," said the wild-eyed man. "I nearly lost my job for going through the Spanish war without getting shot. You ought to hear the roasting I got. I tried to explain to the editor that it was the fault of the Spaniards, but be wouldn't Listen to me. 'A war correspondent,' said he, 'should be übiquitous, and if be were really übiquitous even the Spaniards ought to be üblc to hit him. Didn't the Daily Shouter man get shot? When bullets are flyiug the Hustler expects its share. We don't insist on a serious wound—a flesh wound will do—but remembor that we pay you to bo übiquitous.'" "Well," said the Colonel, "suppose you go with tho reconuoitering party." "Beconnoitering party, belilowedl" said the correspondent. "What I want is a battle." "In due time," said the Colonel, soothingly, "but not until after we reconnoiter." "You persist in this infernal ob stinacy? Y'ou decline to advance without further delay?" "I do," said the Colonel. "Then listen, Sir Grahame Cliol niondeley-Carew! I shall denouuee yon to the American public as au in competent aristocratic British ass!" The Colonel shuddered, but, by a great effort, be regained his compo sure, aud adjusted his monocle. "Remove this person," he said to Tommy Atkins. And Tommy Atkins advanced—his not to reason why, his not to make reply—and bore the struggling correspondent to the rear, aud deposited him on a rock among the ammunition wagons, and stood guard over him to see that he didn't blow up anything.—Puck. Humor* of the Trungvual. From Sonth Africa comes this story of a classic bon mot oil the part of u British gunner, apparently marked for doom. It happened during Gen eral White's luckless sortie from Ladysmith, when the British battery mules on the left flank we~e stam peded. The captain of one of the batteries, .seeing his first sergeant flying * y with the first gun, shouted augrily: "Hi, sir! where are you going?" To which the gunner curtly replied: 4 'Hanged if I know! Ask the mules."—Collier's Weekly. tfrnasltopperH Kill Itjaity Bird*. Thomas Warren who lives near Wil mington, N. C., the other day saw a small bird, known as tho topknot, fighting a grasshopper. The insect was pioked np and the bird was about to fly away with its prey when the grasshopper, by a quick movement of its legs, so ohoked the bird that it fell to the ground. The bird had been killed when Warren took it from the eluteheß of the insect. Whilo stand ing there a number of birds encoun tered a swarm of grasshoppers, and in the fight which followed thirteen bird* were clicked to death.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers