FREELAND TRIBUNE. Z:Ufalishol 1838. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY BY THE TRIBUNE PRINTING COMPANY, Limited. OrriCE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. SUBSCRIPTION RATES: One Year $1.f,0 Six Months Four Months CO Two Months 25 The dute which the subscription is paid to is on the address label of each paper, the change of which to a subsequent dute becomes a receipt for remittance. Keep the tigures in j advance of the present date. Report prompt- < iy to this office whenever paper is not received. Arrearages must be paid when subscription is discontinued. Malic all money orders, checks, etc., payable t<' the Tribune Printing Company, Limited. FREELAND, PA., JANUARY It, 189!>. HAD AN UNUSUAL CAPACITY. The Native Couldn't Understand What Sort of Animall I liey Were. "A year or so ago," said a visitor from St. Louis, "I made a tour of the Ozarks in Southern Missouri with a party of Northern friends. One after noon, in company with a bright young girl from lowa, I made the round of a number of native cabins near Mam moth Spring, just across the line in Arkansas. My companion wanted to see a bit of life of the squatters, if they may be called by that name, and we were at our wit's end to devise some excuse for our visit to the houses. We concluded that nothing would be better than to ask for a drink of water. This we did at each place. We unwisely drank in the doorways or just outside, instead of stepping into the cabin, and soon the attention of pretty nearly all the mountaineers and their large fami lies was attracted. At the seventh house, after we had secured the usual tomato can full of delightful spring wa ter, the man observed: "'Say, young feller, ef it don't make no diffedence, I'd like ter ask a ques tion.' "'All right,' said I, 'what is it?' "'Wall,' continued the mountaineer, 'l've seed all sorts er people an' aner miles frum er monkey ter er elerfant, but I'm danged ef I ever see anybody et cu'd drink ez much water ez you an' thet gal thar. How'd yer do it?' "I don't know that my explanation explained, but the quarter of an hour I consumed in making up a good story was ample time to allow us to look the queer habitation over thoroughly." ■ LIMITS Johnnie—Dere now! I told yer ther fellers would be wantin* ter play check ers on dat patch yer put In me trous ers! SELECTED SAYINGS. Don't spare the rod if you expect to catch any fish. Don't trouble about trouble that doesn't trouble you. Don't expect to find uniformity of opinion on any subject. Don't condemn a thing until its in ■ ilicacy has been proven. Don't be ungallant—look at the faults of a lady with closed eyes. Don't get discouraged because you are unable to understand everything. Don't try to fence in a bow-legged man—he always has an open gait of his own. Don't hit a man when he's down — It's safer to throw rocks at him when he's up a tree. Don't marry for money, but always for love—but if a girl has money '.here's no harm in trying to love her. Don't spread an ill report about your neighbor unless you are positive it is Irtte —and don't do it then if he's bigger than you. FOUR TRUTHFUL FACTS. Exalt a harmless Indulgence into the domain of sinfulnens, and. you will be sure to make it wonderfully popular. A woman either fears or hates the man who knows jt It. how old she is. He is liable to give her away at any moment. Dying might be a very profitable tiling if one held a monopoly in it, ail nther persons being compelled to speak the truth. But, when anybody can lie if he wants to, mendacity does not amount to much. It is funny, but there is nothing that sounds so silly as the talk of two lovers who think they are beyond the hearing if anyone; and yet there is nothing in i.t'e that is one-halt so intoxicating as '.his same silly talk. DR-DAVID favorite KtHNuvsßjgmcdy The one sure cure for J The Sidneys,liver and Blood A V f|pi| RECORD TO BE LOWERED- Major Taylor Think* He Can Heat On# 31ile In tin. IS'h. i With his wonderful mile in lm C2s I Major Taylor is not content. "Majail's " record ride is the sub- I ject of all cycling talk, and the colored | boy is deluged with telegrams coil gratnlating hint in no unmeasured terms upon having lowered the record of thp world so easily, when others made such an efl'orf to gain the covet ed II g u res. Hack in 90 Hamilton took a pacing team from the east to California, ami after four trials did lm 39 l-ss, wlii<- stood against repeated assaults for IT months, ivlser made 10 unsuccessful attempts to lower the mark on the same track, with a pacing team which had been organized and trained n:i entire winter. In the fall of 96 Johnnie Johnson. | who had lowered the mile record mor.i times than any other rider, made ten attempts ami could not heat lm ins, ( which was Kaiser's lowest mark. It was McDuffee that clipped a sec. oud off Hamilton in the summer of MAJOR TAYLOR. 1897. only to lose the record to Beits of England five days later. Betts did lm 37 3-5 s. This was Aug. 19. and Sept. S Stocks of England cut Betts' j figures and did lm 35 2-ss. Oct. 28 of 1897 McDuffee tied tie figures of Stocks in this country, and May 9 of 1898 Betts did lm 35s even. In an unofficial trial, after a 12-niilo training spin. McDuffee did lm 34 2-.V* ! ; June 30, at Charles River, and then, on Aug. 8, at Willow drove park.Edouaid Taylore of France easily carried the figures down to lm 32 3-ss. the sup posed limit of man's speed. | With less than two weeks preparing j his team, and in Ids second trial the ! did lm 33 3-5s in the first). Taylor did ! lm 325, and now says that he is going I to do lm 30s before he quits. Moreover. Taylor says that lm 30s is i not only possible hut that lm 20b is possible, providing the pace may he secured, which it cannot, at least no such pace as 20s to the quarter on a circular track smaller than a half can he secured, although Taylor easily did 22 2-5s at Woodslde's third-mile track, and says one quarter in 20s is possible. No other record breaker has ever been as successful as this colored man in attacks on old Father Time. In all hut one his attempts have been suc cessful beyond his fondest expecta tions. With the exception of his mile : record his cuts were so stupendous as 1 to startle the world, and even the fifth off the mile cuts as much ice as sec onds as it gives to him the coveto i record. Taylor's speed may never he rigid - i fully computed, as ho has never Ix en shaken, and has proven himself th • greatest of masters at following pace. | Can Tnke "So Action. A letter from England to a prominent newspaper writer in America, bears ; the intelligence that iienry Sturmey. secretary of the International Cyclists' association, to whom President Eddie ' Bald appealed on behalf of the Ameri can Cycle Racers' Union, for rccogni ' tion, states that the I. C. A. can take absolutely no action whatever in this matter. '1 his will effectively prevent I the projected tour of Bald, Cooper, | Gardiner, Kimble, Riser and others. "Hike' Electric Treatment The cyclist can now take a course >f > electric tivatment on his machine. A ' new handle bar has been brought out which has metallic grips connected with a small generator mounted on one lof tlie wheels. In another form of the same device shoes are provided with contact plates: If the force of the current depends upon the speed the | wheels are rotating, this may he a i satisfactory device to discourage | scorching. Fined the Tollceinun. A London policeman recently stop ! ped a woman cyclist for riding with out a light. She was fined, and her si>- | licltor obtained a summons for as sault against the policeman. The lat ter was fined for assault, therefore, the precedent has been set up that it is ail assault to forcibly stop a cyclist whether transgressing the law or not. Wneoliiig In Egvpt. Women cyclists find progress dif ficult In the streets of Cairo, unless they are preceded on foot by a drago man, who clears away by the aid of n very serviceable stick, which is used freely and indiscriminately on the ob structing donkeys, dogs and children. A lltcycllKt'i Flu int. Of t&e troubles which rise our endur ance to test The wandering wind's not tile least. For it's blowing from oust when you're \ traveliug weal And from west when you're !ya\el ' lug Cjiai. MAKING PLAIN THE WAY. Ruled Worthy of Consideration by Wheal* That you may he In the right and on the side of safety here are nine rules nf the road you should memorize aud then rigidly adhere to : 1. In meeting riders, pedestrians and vehicles, keep to the right. In over taking aud passing them, keep to tha left. 2. In turning corners to the left, al ways keep to the outside of the street* 3. In turning corners to the right, keep as far as possible without tres passing on the left side of the road. 4. Never expect pedestrians to gel out of your way; find away around them. 5. Never ride rapidly by an electric car standing to unload passengers. <. Never coast down a liill having cross streets along the way. 7. Never ring your bell except to give notice of your approach. In meeting other riders ascending n hill, where there is hut one path always yield the right of way to the upriders. 9. Bear in mind that a rider meet ing an electric car carrying a strong headlight is unable to see beyond tliu light; keep out of his way. Bucking Heatl-wlnd. The whole secret of successfully fight ing the wind is to ride your weight. Even with a light rider, progress will then he made at a certain rate of speed tlirongh the wind. But male aud fe male riders alike must needs abandon the ramrod-like position if they would battle with Boreas In real earnest. It 1 is necessary to get down with as fiat a hack as possible over the handle bar. thus reducing the area offered U j wind resistance by more than one half, and then allow the weight of the body to drive the machine without us ing more muscular leg or arm force than <'nn be helped. There should be no pull on the handle-bars, or at least no more than can be avoided. Mount ing stairs slowly, combined with prop ! er ancle action, of course more nearly 1 conveys the Idea, and if any new rider will put this device into practice, hw or she will find that wind will lose much of its terror. This should bo taught in the riding school, but it isn't lllut for Wheelmen. When looking for an evasive squeak, or a noise even worse, an inspection of the bearings will sometimes show tint in replacing tue balls after dunning, 100 many have been put in one cup. Tills causes overcrowding wliieh will not only cause the noise but make the wheel run harder and eventually wear out the cones aud cups. An Expert's View. The two archaeologists gazed at the heap of bones which they had ex humed. i 'This must have been an ancient burying ground." said one. "More like a bicycle riding academy," replied the other. l lie Bicycle Face. Johnny—Papa, what is a bicycle face? Papa—The bicycle face, my son, Is the one that stands off the butcher, Ihe grocer aud the landlord till the wheel is paid for. A Falling Out. She was much in love with her bicycle, And seemed to dwell in clover, But now she's cold as an icicle, Because it "threw her over." A Helmet for Football Player*. A new helmet for football players lias been placed upon the market and is pronounced complete by experts. Hitherto players have had their ear# protected by leather muffs padded with felt, held In place by leather straps which have fined over the top of the head. While it was imposssible to in Jure the ears or temples, the head •ould he kicked, and in some instances last year men were severely hurt it this way. I'he new helmet, however, completely protects the head and ears Tin' crown of it is made of tough sole leather, tilled with air holes and lined with soft felt. It has stout earlaps of IIKLMKT FOU FOOTBALL PLAYKR.S. Icnthcr, with holes ill them so that the wearer can hear the signals, and a strong elastic hand, which buckles under the chin and keeps the new head gear lirnily In place. It is believed that the helmet will be generally worn by members of all the big teams. Another new-fanged device is a pneu matic leg guard called by football play ers a "Cholly horse." It is made of canvas-covered rubber, and is inflated like a football, its shape being oblong and tint, possibly a half-inch thick, it is placed inside the trousers on the front of the thigh, and is intended to prevent sprains. Kicking; a <inal. In making a goal for a placed kick, the man who poises the hull for the kicker usually holds one end of the oval directly over a little hole in the turf made by the heel of the shoe, and when the kicker ready the end of the hall is put down Just as the too of the kieker gets under It. Several players, however, follow an old habit of placing I lie end of the lmll in the palm of the hand, laid flat on the turf, and allowing the kicker to drive it off just as it it rested in a hole. In this way the hall is steadied better and does not lose its poise. There issollttle difference between these methods that opponents cauuot see which is in use. j THE BOWSERS' TROUBLES Rparl.n Courage and Fortitude aa Kxoni pi tiled by the Head of the Family. When Mr. Bowser came home th< other evening and found his wife lying on the lounge with a bandage around her head, he was sorry for her, of course—just as sorry as the average husband. And, like the average hus band, he stood and glared at her for a moment and then blurted out: "Well, I've been looking for it every day for a year past, and It's here at last! Finally got yourself flat down, eh?" "It's nothing," she faintly replied. "Oh! it isn't? Nothing for a wife to flop down and upset the whole house, 1 suppose! Well, I've been looking for some sort of a racket, so I'm not sur prised. Mrs. Bowser, it's a wonder to me that you or any other woman in this town is out of her coffin!" "It's only—only a headache, dear." "Yes, only a headache, but what do headaches lead to? If you are not a dead woman before Saturday night you may consider yourself lucky. Didn't I warn you not to sit in a draught—not to wear thin shoes —not to eat too much truck? Little good it does to talk to a woman. She'd go her own way if she knew that it must end in a broken neck. If men were as reckless as your sex the country would go to the dogs." "One can't help feeling bad occasion ally," she replied as she got up to wet the bandage around her head. "Oh, they can't, eh? Mrs. Bowser, look at me! When am I ever ailing? When do you hear me complain? Nev er! And why is It? Because, Madame— because I don't cram my stomach with watermelon, buttermilk, gumdrops, custard pie, sweet cake, ginger ale, and all that. Because I don't go around with my feet sopping wet. Because I know enough to come in when it rains. Because I exercise a little common sense in taking care of myself!" "I think I'll be better by morning," she replied. "I hope so, and I hope this will be a lesson to you for the future. I tell you that no woman can slosh around the way most of you do and live out half her days. How many cocoanuts and green apples and bananas did you eat to-day?" "Don't be foolish, Mr. Bowser!" But forty-eight hours later the ta bles were turned. Mr. Bowser came scuffing along home with his shoulders humped up and his face the color of flour, and it was plain to see that some thing had happened. "What's the matter?" asked Mrs. Bowser as soon as he stepped into the hall. "Got a sore throat and I feel feverish. I —l think I am going to be sick!" Everything about the house was or dered to go on tiptoe, and even the cat was put out and the clock stopped. Af ter his throat had been tied up, his shoes taken off and a quilt thrown over him, Mr. Bowser plaintively inquired: "Don't you think you'd better send for a doctor?" "Not just yet, dear. I don't think i"s serious." "Ah! how I suffer—how I suffer!" he groaned. "You may be a widow be fore the week is out. I hope you will always be kind to our child. I have tried to be a good husband, and — and—!" Mrs. Bowser laid her hand on his forehead and the tears came to his eyes with a flood and he broke down and sobbed like a booby. She sat down and held his hands until he finally fell asleep, and though she might have charged him with doing a score of im prudent things to bring on his illness she didn't mention a single one. After a couple of hours he woke up feeling better, but he wanted tea, toast and jelly, and sympathy, and was as petu lant as a baby until put to bed. He was a new man, however, when he woke up next morning, and when she asked af ter his throat, he replied: "Throat —hump! Mrs. Bowser, for about five hours yesterday I was hover ing between life and death. Had it been you, you would have died ten times ovet, but grit pulled me through!" "Grit?" she queried. "Yes, grit— sand — pluck— Spartan courage and fortitude. I let none of you know how badly I actually was, but just shut my teeth and 'determined to live, and here is the result of it. Ah! Mrs. Bowser, if you only had the hun dredth part of my courage and will power you'd be a far different woman from what you are now—a far different woman!" SUNI>I*IOUM I'olltenens. "Well, are you going to get It?" was asked of a rural statesman just back from Washington, where he had been with a view of securing an appoint ive position. "Don't think I am. That there con gressman of our'n was too durned per lite to me." Very Su*velve. Willie—l think old Moneybags is the meanest man I ever knew. Millie —What has he done? Willie—Bought for his daughter a musical parlor clock which plays "Home, Sweet Home" at 10:15 and "Johnny, Get Your Gun" at 10:30. Whnl Di<l She Mean f "Have you ever loved before?" He asked, his voice with passioi laden; v Have you ever laved before?" "Neln," said the little Germai j maiden. Hnnentlr Acquired. "With what a gracefully sweeping motion she handles a fan." "Yen, she used to keep flies off the table in her father's lunch room." IWOMENSI PROMENADE TOILETTE. Quite Smart In the Appearance Mnde It Thl Simple Winter CnHtunie. Smart indeed are the promenade toi lettes of winter. The waist of oue re cently seen was executed in heavy tan broadcloth. It completely covered the hips and rounded off at the front pre cisely after the style of a man's cuta way. The sleeves were tight-fitting finished around the wrists with bands PROMENADE TOILETTE. of black velvet. The belt and collar were also of velvet. Broad lapels of broadcloth embroidered in black silk braid trimmed the front. The skirt of this costume was of dark green and cardinal plaid with a box-like figure of light brown between each square. It fitted closely over the hips and was made without trimming of any kind. A tan velvet toque with black crown and white pigeon was also worn. In Gray llrundclotli. The sketch shows a delightful little street frock of princess build. The waist is double breasted and embroid- IN GRAY BROADCLOTH. sred along the border of the rounded :abs. Huge neck boa and "grandmoth er" muff. I.a vender Redivlvus. Old-fashioned lavender perfume has come back to favor among the many other revivals of nearly a century ago. It appears in the list of French ex tracts and sachets, and its delicate fragrance exhales from the petals of choice Parisian-made artificial flowers. The color of the lavender is agreeable to many people who do not like other perfumes. In imagination it is always associated with freshness, sweetness and housewifely daintiness. Poets have sung the praise of lavender, and in general estimation the odorous grey blue-tinted spike ranks next only to the regal rose and the modest violet. To Mend Waterproof Cloth. Mackintoshes, which with autumnal rains become necessities, may be mend ed when torn in the following manner: Dissolve some pieces of pure india rub ber in naphtha to create a stiff paste; choose a piece of stufT as much like the waterproof material as possible, and apply some of the cement to it and to the torn edges of the mackintosh. Then bring the torn parts over the new ma terial to form a patch and place a weight over the part until the cement is quite set and firm. Throat Oalture. The throat should he round, full and pillar-like, and nothing will give those qualities BO quickly ss the daily exer cise of rolling the head completely around, several times in one direction and an equal numbir in the opposite way. This exercise Alls out the hol lows like magic and strengthens the muscles as well. Saved from the Surgeon's Knife No organs are of greater importance to the human body than the Kidneys. Their duty is to sift and strain the poisonous and waste matter from the blood, and if they fail to do this, the trouble shows in the nervous system, and even in the brain. Your life is at stake when there are pains in the small of your back when you arc compelled to get up at night to urinate—when the passing of water causes scalding pain—when there is a sediment in the urine in the vessel, or when it appears white or milky. When so afflicted, you can conquer the trouble with Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy, the greatest medicine that civilization has ever known for curing Kidney, i Bladder, Blood and Liver Diseases. ' James Lettice, of Canajoharie, N. Y., tells of j|* (f) his wonderful cure: "Some years ago I was attacked if — jiff with pains in my back \ w** /A IM and sides that wero \l// what came from ■m e *^\ could take care of me after. I saw an advertisement of Dr. J! I David Kennedy's Favorite B jSSbgiFW, Remedy, which seemed to fit my "HHBBBK ' i case, so I decided to try that before 1 gpgWrnvj submitted to the operation. I began its use. When I had taken about two bottles the flow from the bladder grew cleaner, and the pain stopped, and in a short time I was saved from the surgeon's knife, and am now well." havorite Remedy also cures Eczema, Scrofula, Rheumatism, Dyspepsia and Constipation. For Female Troubles it is unequaled. It is sold for si.oo a b )ttle at all drug stores. T * n or( * er that sufferers may be convinced of <?UIIH|HV ftltfllflV HCC 1 the curative virtues of Favorite Remedy, a free sample bottle will be sent, prepaid, to those who send their full postoffice address to the DR. DAVJD KENNEDY CORPORATION, Rondout, N. Y. It is necessary to say that you saw the advertisement in this paper if you wish to take advantage of this genuine and liberal offer. Send today. ■ ' CASTOBIA The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over 30 years, lias borne the signature of and has been made under his per . ST. -ectCJu/K Allow no one to deceive you in thin. All Counterfeits, Imitations and Substitutes are but Ex periments that tritlo with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORSA Castoria is a substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, I>rops and Soothing Syrups. It is Harmless and Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fcverisliness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tho Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea—Tho Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. DePIERRO - BROS. -CAFE.- Corner of Centre ixl Front Street*, Freeland, Pa. Finest Whiskies in Stock. Gibson, Dougherty, Knufer Club, Kosenbluth's Velvet, of which we h ve EXCLUSIVE SALE IN TOWN. Mumm's Extra Dry Champagne, Heuncssy Brandy, Blackberry, Gins, Wines, Clureta, Cordiab, Etc. Imported and Domestic Cigars. OYSTERS IN EVERY STYLE. Ham and Schweitzer Cheese Sandwiches, Sardines, Etc. MEALS AT - ALL - HOURS. Ballentine and Hazletou beer on tap. Bat,lis. Hot or Cold. 25 Cents. P. F. McNULTY, FUNERAL DIRECTOR AND EMBALMER. Embalming of female corpses performed exclusively By Mrs. P. F. MeNulty. Prepared to Attend Calls Day or Night. South Centre street, Freeland. Boat <-uugh Tastes Good. Use ■ . Dry Goods, Groceries and Provisions. 0 A celebrated brand'of XX flour alwaya'in stock. Roll Butter andJEggsja Specialty. AMANDUS OSWALD, H. W. Cor. Centre and Front St*.. Freeland. Anyone sending a sketch and description mny quickly uscertnin our opinion free whether nit invention is probably patentable. Communica tions strictly confidential. Handbook on Patents sent frco. Oldest iiirency for securing patents. . i at ems taken through llunn & Co. receive special notice, without charge, lu the Scientific American. A handsomely illustrated weekly. Largest, cir culation of any scientific Journal. Terms. f.T a ■■Wal.V r P°" tilß . lb Sold by ail newsdealers. MUNN & Co. 3s,B '° d New York Drancb Ofllce, 6% K St., Washington, D. C. of every description executed nt short notice byjthe Tribune-Company.
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