Experiments en sugar beets by the Missouri Experiment Station demon strate that it would no. be profitable for the Missouri farmer to raise beets for sugar purposes. Experiments have been going on since 1890. More pig iron wu3 produced in the United States last year than in any previous year. It is estimated that the total output reaches nearly 10,- 000,000 tons. The total production oi pig iron in this country in 1896 was 8,623,127 tons. Twenty States pro duced pig iron in 1896, Pennsylvania's proportion of the output being forty six per cent. In forty-nine no women went to California. The difference between that period and this is strikingly shown, notes Judge, in the fact that thousands of women are going to the Klondike. They havo the requisite courage for any kind of business that men can do, and it will turn out prob ably that they have the endurance, toe. Great are the changes as to women within these memorablo fifty years. Says the Chicago Times-Herald: "Mrs. Josephine Henry, of Versailles, Ky., solemnly predicts that the United States will yet have a woman presi dent. Mrs. Henry is a forceful, bril liant woman, and she is said to be one of the best publio speakers in the country. With the exception of Belva Lockwood she is the only woman who has been prominently discussed for the presidency of the country, her own sex being her most enthusiastic sup' porter, believing her to be the best and most fitting candidate for the greatest office in the gift of the peo ple. For five years Mrs. Henry has been contending for the rights of mar ried women in Kentucky, and her ef forts have at last been crowned with success, the legislature having passed suitable laws for the just and cqnita ble division of property between hus band and wife. In 1890 Mrs. Henry was the Prohibition party's candidate for the Supreme Court of Kentucky, and it is a significant fact that, al though a woman and a prohibitionist, she polled 5000 votes." In the Forum Mr. Elihu Thomson, the electrician, gives a summary state ment of the electrical advance of the past ten years. He makes it very clear that the progress of civilization (which means man's command over the forces of nature for his own ad vancement and utility) has received a greater push since the year 1880 than in any similar period since the world began. The most important of these advances are the practical develop ment of the telephone (first exhibited in 1876), the "step-up transformer" by which electrical power can be transmitted over long distances at small expense; the incandescent elec tric light; the electric railway in its various forms, and the Roentgen rays by which opaque substances can be made more or less translucent. The use of the step-up transformer has found its largest development in the service of the Niagara Falls Power Company, which is now oarryiug the energy of the falls to the city of Buffalo by dynamoa of 5,000 horse power each. It is a remarkable fact that the discoveries in electrical science which have made this trans mission possible in an economical sense, have been made since the Niagara Company's money was in vested in tho great plant now at work. It has been freely stated that the monumental railway enterprise of the nineteenth century will be the trans- Siberian railroad. Considering that when this tremendous length of line is completed the Pacific littoral will be brought into direct railway com munication with the North Sea, one cannot but pause for a moment to ad mire the enterprise of a nation whioh in some quarters has been looked upon for many years as one more or less barbaric. There is no question that Eussia is marching onward with firm and vigorous steps, and iu engineering bids fair to compete with any of the older, and, presumably, more intelli gent countries. Its latest engineer ing schemo is one whioh is likely to put into insignificance any other un dertakings of a like character. It is nothing less than to build a gigantic waterway from the Black Sea to the Baltic; in other words, a canal deep enough and wide enough to carry cargo steamers from the North of Eussia to the South, or vice versa. At the present time the country of Bussian Poland in tho watershed of the Dnieper is being actively surveyed toward this end, and oarly next year it is expected that tho work of con structing this gigantic canal will be gin. The estimated cost is $100,000,- 000, which includes a system of elec trio lights along the canal's whole length of one thousand miles, R ATS USED AS SENTINELS. THE TRICK WORKED BY CRIMINALS IN AN OHIO PRISON. Two Convicted Men Who Trained Rod ents to Give Them Warning of the Approach of Keepers While They Saived the Iron Bars of Their Cell. A story told by W. R. Ryan, an old Ohio Sheriff', illustrates the ingenuity of criminals. Ryan, says the New York Sun, was Sheriff of Cuyahoga County for several years, and refused a third or fourth nomination for the office for the reason that the County jail in Cleveland was so old and dilapi dated that the watching of the seventy or nighty prisoners was more of a job than he cared to keep. While he was still in charge a notorious criminal named Foster and an accomplice were convicted and sentenced to a long term of imprisonment in the Ohio penitentiary. At that time the jail was crowded and Sheriff' Ryan was compelled to place both convioted men in the same cell. The Sheriff lived in the County building, and on the night following the conviction of Foster he went to bed soon after supper, intending to get up early the next morning and take the two prisoners to tho peniten tiary. About midnight be awoke with a start. He was trembling violently and was convinced that trouble was brewing in the jail. "There's something wrong in tne jail," he said to his wife, "and I'll bet Foster is about ready to break out. I'm going down stairs to look around." Dressing himself he put a revolver into his pocket and noiselessly went down to tho chief jailer's room on the first floor. Abe Abrams, his deputy, was guarding the jail door. "What's the matter?" asked Abrams. "What's wrong in the jail?" re turned the Sheriff. "Nothing," replied Abrams. "Haven't you heard the noise of saws?" asked Ryan. "Nope, and thoy ain't beon work ing, or I'd heard 'em, as I've been laying might quiet." Ryan was suspicious and listened attentively at the jail door. There was no noise, except an occasional snore of one of the prisoners. "Abe," said Ryan, "I'm certain Foster and his pal are up to mischief. I've been foeling it in my bones all night, and I'm going to sneak in two tiers under their cell and listen." He opened the jail door noiselessly, nnd crept through tho jail until he was under Foster's cell. He had not made the slightest noise. Of that he was certain. He breathed regularly and with as little noise as possible, and he could not detect a sound which indicated that an effect was being made to saw the coll bars. Neverthe less, be could not get rid of his sus picion, and remained there perfectly quiet until 5 o'clock. Then he went to breakfast, called a deputy, and placing the handcuff's aud leg irons on Foster aud his confederate, prepared to take them to Columbus on an early train. "As soon as wo leave," said the Sheriff to Abrams, "you search the cell and telegraph me the result ut Columbus." When Columbus was reached, about noon, this message was handed to Ryan: "Found two dozen fine saw files in cell. Aubams." Ryan handed the telegram to the prisoners, and when they read it they laughed. "You'see, boys, that you may be pretty foxy, but you couldn't beat tho old man," said the Sheriff. "That's right," said Foster. "But what made you come into the jail last night and stay so long? Who put you on?" "Nobody," answered Ryan. "I just guessed it. But how didjyou know I was there? Did you hear me?" "Not a sound. You make a quiet sneak for such a big man," said Fos ter's pal. "Then how did yon know I was there?" persisted the Sheriff. "Now, see here, Mr. Ryan," replied Foster, "we're in for along term, and if you will put a good word in for us we'll tell you our Becret." "Agreed," said Ryau. "Well, where we got the saws is neither here nor there, and nono of your business," said Foster, "but we knew you were watching us, and knew that if wo wanted to give you the slip we would have to exercise more than ordinary or human vigilance. Now, the jail is full of rats, aud jail rats, having been killed so often byway of amusement for tho prisoners, arc timid. Rats like meat. We saved some of our meat at supper every night and scattered it in front of the oell. The rats soon realized that we meant them no harm, and after a num ber of experiments they would allow one of us to feed them while the other watched. Rats have a keener sense of heaving than men, and if an out sider should appear they would run. Well, when you sneaked into the jail last night wo didn't hear you, but the rats did. They scampered and we quit. When yon left the rats returned, but it was too late then, and the game was up." The records of County Commission ers show that on the following day a requisition was received from the Sheriff's office calling for two dozen rat traps and a caHO of rat poison. Pigeon-holed in the prosecuting at torney's office is an indictment, en titled "State of Ohio vs. Rodent, for aiding and abetting the attempted es cape of certain prisoners of the State from tho county jail of Cuyahoga County, State of Ohio." This charge never came to trial, and tho defend ants suffered capital pnuishment when ever captured without even having a hearing WONDERFUL FOOTGEAR. In the Cluny Museum, Paris, is a collection of shoes which would make auy woman covet them. Three hun dred pairs represent footwear from the fifteenth century down. Several pairs of Turkish shoes are sewn with gold thread and incruaterl with gems. An Indian war shoe has an upturned sole and a proteotiois of chain mail across the instep and around the heel and toe. Curious articles are the other Indian shoes, ornamented with beetle's wing trimming and embroid ered in pure silver thread. A pair of shoes made of yellow silk once bolonged to the famous Marquise de Pompadour, nnd are the identical pair she is depicted as wearing in the pastel portrait of her which hangs in the gallery of the Louvre. They are neither particularly small nor very shapely, bub are exceedingly well pro served. One of the most beautiful sixteonth oentury shoes is a Venetian pattern, the white leathor work of which is so finely wrought that it resembles beau tiful guipure lace. African shoes are mostly of leather, bizarre in design and in the coloring of the silks and wools used for their embellishment. Among the shoes ecclesiastical are those of Clement XVI., gorgeous in crimson velvet and with a foliated cross on each too worked in gold thread. Their owner's chief claim to historical notice was his abolishing the Order of Jesuits. A singularly unshapely pair of shoes are those onco belonging to wasp waisted Catherine de Medici; square toed, embroidered, and long in shape with a largo flap coming over the in step. A long French shoe, whose absolute ly square toes would delight the heart of a hygienic bootmaker, is that which belonged to a famous governor of the province of Languedoc, Henry do Montmorency by name. The chief ornamentation is formed by a large fleur-de-lis stamped on the instep, which emblem is repeated on the sole. Cluver Attempt to Kscape. A scheme which was clever enough to deserve success was discovered by the warden of the Missouri penitenti ary at Jefferson City a day or two ago. Among a big batch of prisoners who were brought to the prison to begin their sentences were Jim Johnson and ltoy Griffith, whoso sentences were three and two years respectively. Jef ferson is wanted in California to serve out au unfinished sentence of fifteen years and in Utah to serve the State for ten years, having escaped from the prisons of both States. His identity had been discovered after his trial in Missouri had begun, but of course that State had first claim on him, but at the expiration of his three years' sen tence ho would be turned over to one of the other Stntes for his punishmeut there. In order to escape with only his Missouri term he arranged a scheme with Griffith,the two-year innn, by which the pair were to trade names when they were registered at the pen itentiary. In this way Johnson would be released at the end of two years and get away .before the California or Utah officers could get him. Then when he was safely out of the way Griffith, still in prison, would tell the truth of the matter, and as ho would have served his full sentence, the offi cers would bo compelled to release him. The schome worked all right as far as the registration at the prison went, but a day or two afterward the warden, in looking ovor the pictures of his new prisoners in the rogues' gallery, discovered the mix-up in the names and questioned the prisoners, who finnlly told the whole story.—De troit Free Press. Jefferson's Violin. Genuine Nicholas Amati violins are as rare as thoy are costly, but when such ail instrument comes into posses sion of a musician of the preseut, after having onco been tho jiroperty of Thomas Jefferson, President of the United States, its value is enhnnced threefold. Such a historic music maker is just now being manipulated by Mr. David L. Harriett, to whom it was loaned by Albert Hildebrandt, the well-known connoisseur collector of this city. The manner in which the rave old fiddle was secured is decidedly inter esting. Not long since Mr. Hilde brandt, who is a 'cellist of ability, to- I gether with Fred K. Gottlieb, flutist;! Isidor Dubowitz, violinist, and Rioh ard Meyer, pianist, went to Char lottesville, Va., to give a concert for the benefit of a charity organization there. Just nfter the concert Mr. Hildebrandt was told that Richard Scott, a ninety-three-old negro, living at the foot of tho Monticello Hills, had in his possession a violin which was apparently of great value. Quick to scent an old-time instrument, Mr. Hildebrandt went in search of Scott, and found him at work in a field near his cabin. Tho old man stated that tho fiddle had been handed down to 1 him by his father, who had been a ! slave in the family of Thomas Jeffer son. Scott readily agreed for a con sideration to part with the violin, which,'upon inspection, proved to be a genuine Nicholas Amati, which ranks with the Stradivariiiß for value and rarity.—Baltimore Herald. Diet Rule* For l)ypeptlcß 1. There must never be less than five hours between each meal. 2. No solid food is ever taken between meals. 3. All with weak hearts should have their principal meal in the middle of the day. 4. All with weak hearts should have their meals as dry as pos sible. A Wonderful Photograph. The most wonderful astronomical photograph in the world is that which lias reoently been prepared by Lon don, Berlin and Parisian astronomc —s [ It shows at least 68,000,090 stars. 'Jovcled Duttonholoa. A notion just shown in Paris is a jeweled buttonhole, sold in graduated sizes, for the front of bodices. Borne are of paste, others in gold, steel and amethysts and steel and strass are put together. These sometimes resemble old drop earrings placed horizontally on the dress; others are of a lozenge shape, but all are novel. Tils New M u rr. Tho new muff of velvet is very largo, and made with frilled ends and lined with satin or silk in some bright color. The latest fad is to make the sides dis similar. Eor example, one sido has five narrow frills of velvet, lined with silk and edged with a tiny puffing of tho same bright color, overlapping ono another like tho ruffles on a gown, whilo the other side has only one gathered heading. Lace is a feature of nearly all the fancy muffs, and it is arrangediu a knot with a fancy buckle on one side, or in frills at the ends to fall over the hands. Women us CoUee I'lantcrn. There are several woniou coffee growers in Hawaii, but the richest of them all is Miss Wildwood, a girl of twenty-three. Two years ago sho was a stenographer in a law office, with only a capital of $1250, which had come to her as a legacy and whioh sho was reserving for tho proverbial "rainy weather," against which lonely spinsters often try to fortify them selves. Hearing of the coffee planta tion possibilities of Hawaii, Miss Wildwood decided to risk her little capital and to try her luck as a planter, aud so well lias she succeeded that in two years' time she believes that she will be making an income of SIO,OOO a year. Rome Old Ilcclpos. A New England gentlewoman early in the century wrote tho following quaint recipes in her notebook, in a beautifully clear, even hand: A friend to the ladies would take this opportunity to advise them to supply their toilets with the following valuable articles—viz.; 1. Self knowledge, o mirror showing tho form in the most perfect light. 2. Innocence, a white paint, beauti ful but easily soiled, and requiring continual caro to preserve its luster. 3. Modesty, a rouge giviug a de lightful bloom to the cheeks. i. Contentment, an infallible smoother of wrinkles. 5. Truth, a salvo rendering tho lips soft and delicious. 6. Gentleness, a cordial imparting sweetness to the voice. 7. Good humor, a universal beauti fler. A lady who possesses all these toilet articles must certainly bo well equip ped. They are probably as efficacious now as they were nearly 100 years ngo. Doubtless they were composed and presented to tho lady in question by some gallant beau—an observor of, as well as "a friend to," the ladies. Dutch Women l'ro£roßßive. More progress has been made by women of tho little country ruled over by Queen Wilhelmiua in the last ten years than perhaps any other nation in Europe. In Holland women have learned tho advantage of co-operation and organization, and instead of being divided against themselves, as in England, they have worked together, with a result that they aro winning all along the line. They have formed a large number of societies of a philanthropic charact er, thus showing tho useful aud prac tical side of tho movement. There is, for example, a society for assisting work ing women to obtain homes of their own; a society for aiding the children of poor working people; a society for making flower aud vegetable gardens among the poor; a society for the aid of sick working women; a society for the insurance of sick working women aud girls, aud a society for the educa tion of servants. Practical work of this kind among women is tho best earnest of tho suffrage which will surely come. Last year the Government passed a law conferring almost au equal suffrage upon women and making them eligible to nearly all municipal offices. This year, in token of this progress, Dutch women will hold a world's fair nt The Hague, whioh is to be devoted solely to the exhibition of women's activities and industries. Side by side with this progress of women's work thoro has been au advance in the political field. —Trenton (N. J.) American. Little Alil For Vain Women. The young woman of the present moment need not go homo when she wants to see if a speck of city Boot has landed upon her fair fnoe—nor yet does she have to rush into the uearost store to find out by the elevator mir rors that her hat is or is not on straight, Most of all, she does not have to go powderless through a windy day and a long walk or shopping tour. The portable mirror has oome to woman's aid. The blundering man who thinks that all this distracting loveliness is kopt iu place by the mere fact of some sort of unknown law of gravitation is mistaken, for; as usual where a woman's wiles are concerned, it is the tiny confidential mirror that does the deed. It is worn like a concealed weapon of beauty in every conceivable place that comports with a woman's street dress. First of all, for I saw it 011 the street this week, there is the hair comb in which is set a small oval looking glass of about one inch by two inches, sur rounded by wrought silver uud tor toiseshell patterns that make it seem like some strange, colorless gem where it glitters in the coiffure. That is the latest and queerest, and is altogether the most Oriental of all the styles that ever struck a woman's fancy. They can be worn as high combs for evening use or as serpentine twists in the hair, or yet as Mercury wings with the cheval glass either displayed to add to the ornamentation or hidden for use when the right moment comes behind some palm. No one needs to sniff at these deli cious tricks, for they are really a boon to every woman who has not grown so finely spirituelle that she has risen above caring whether her hat is on straight—a question that she would probably ask in the face of appalling doom. Again do these adorablo little things come in the tops of umbrellas. The top of the handle rises up at the touch of a spring, and behold! there i 3 a line French glass. In tho space below a powder box lios coyly concealed, with a puff cosily hid in the midst. The chatelaine has a small, bevelled edge mirror, with a long handle (about three inches or four), and is most ela borately gotten up to aid and abet the destruction of hearts. And the innocent comfit box, or bonbonniere, glories in a secret lid that when pressed back reveals the woman's most truthful friend. If one woman asks another, "Am I pale, dear?" or "Is there a spot on my eye brow?" ten chances to one that dear will auswer "No," all regardless of the | facts.—New York Herald. Fashion Notes. Gray silk waists are trimmed with white lace and chinchilla far. Gold-crown toques arc trimmed with fur tails and tiny ostrich tips. Handsome gold and rhinestone but tons arc popular for fancy silk waists. Blouses of red silk, with rovers, yoke and collar of dark blue aro worn Light cloth jackets have an inlaid collar and cuffs of contrasting velvet. Colored velvet flecked with gold tin sol is used for vests, collars nnd cuffs. Black and white neck ruffs are edged with a cluster of vari-colored stripes. A novelty in veiling is black spotted net lined with white net, slightly tint ed with pink, which makes it very be coming. A very stylish finish for a cloth cos tume is one band of fur broadtail around tho bottom and a collar baud covered with fur. Velvet and lace complete your decoration, but no more fur. In silk moires will be in great de mand for the coming season. Light weight Bilks will bo much worn, and the range of color and variety of de sign make it easy for ono to select a charming gown. Dress goods showing braided effects are exceedingly popular. On colored grouuds the designs are black, in wavy and zigzag soutache offects. Tho ma terial is an all-wool satin finish. Tho favorite grounds are brown, green, heliotrope, blue and red. Beautiful toilet sets, consisting of tray, brush, comb and mirror, powder box and hairpin receiver, are of deli cate china, decorated in dainty and picturesque design. They are newer than the silver-backed sets, and aro thought by many to bo far prettier. A new material, whioh is most ser viceable for petticoats, is silk moreen. This comes in all colors, and can lie had to match any gown. Tho petti coats are especially pretty made up with silk ruffles. As there is no ques tion of the better wearing qualities of tho moreen over taffetas, the former will be much in demand. Styles depend quite nB muoh upon correct accessories, if not more than it does upon material and cut. Girls as a rule aro quick to recognize the fact and to soize upon every new item as it appears. Tnis season unusual opportunity is allowed and a more varied ohoice than is commonly the case. The latest shape of fur capes is ex tremely short, reaching scarcely to the elbow. Cloth and velvet capes aro also made of this length, and arc fre quently fashioned of three graduated flounces. A favorite trimming is a band of cross-cut velvet or cloth, stitched down in the centre. The vol vot when put on in bands is usually a deeper shade of the same color as the cape. Sashes and scarfs are alone a study, and with them well seleoted and care fully arrange a plain gown becomes chic and tasteful, as by the touch of n wand. Among the many it is difficult to choose one or another as better or preferable. The only law which it is safe to lay down declares in favor of simplicity for tho growing girls and gives preference to ribbon and the ma terial over frilled silk and elaborately arranged chiffon. THE HORSE WANTED SHOES. Ihowed Tlmt He Knew a Blaekamlth'l Sign Wlm lie Saw It. If his mistress is to be believed, (and who dare say she isn't?) tho old horse Jerry, some of whose exploits have been related before, can read. The other day he was put into the car ryall and driven to a town some four miles away. The roads turned out to be unexpectedly slippery, and Jerry was smooth-shod. He had so dread ful a time in getting down the hills that all the people had to get out and walk, and as he was trying to pull up one hill he actually so lost his footing that the carryall began to run back ward, pulling the horse down hill af ter it, and if the driver had not ex pertly cramped tho wheels into a bank there must have been a bad nccidont. The mistress declared that if she got the horse to the town alive she would have him sharp-shod there. They did get to the town at last. As they were driviug through the streets—the way being easy enough it the town—they came to a place where the sign of a blacksmith's shop hung at the head of a little alley. Tho shop itself was not in sight—only the sigt to direct people down tho alley. The horse had never been shod at this place nor anywhere else in tho town, but as son as ho came abreast of this sigt he attempted to turn down tho alley and his driver had difficulty in getting him past. After some other matter! were attended to, the driver went back to the blacksmith's shop to get Jerry shod, and he headed directly for the shop in the alley without any gliding, As tho man was shoeing him, lie that is, the man, not the horse—re marked: "That horse don't need a word—he knows just when to take up every foot and just when to put il down—he understands the whole busi ness." Now, on his way home, the old horse never slipped once, and you can not Convince his mistress that he did not know that what he needed was sharp shoeing, nor that he was nol aware that that sign pointed tho way to a blaoksmith's shop. "Look here," said tho Listener, when he heard the story, "was there a horseshoe painted on that sign?" "Ye-yes, there was," said she, sum moning up her mental picture of it. "Then that accounts for it. The horse did not really read the sign—he saw the picture of the horseshoe, and knew that it pointed the way to the place where he could have some of the same sort of things put on his feet." Boston Transcript. Why Russia Wants China. The intimacy of China and Russii has most profound causes. The Chi nose have a very distinct feeling ol thoir interests. Between Russia and Chinese interests there is no opposi tion. England, the United States, Germany and France have only one object; to make of China an immense market for the product of their indns- j try, to impress upon it, by force il need be, their merchandise. On the contrary, Russia and Japan seek to facilitate tho exportation into Europe of Chinese products. Russia, with its railroad, will be the middleman be tween producing China and consum ing Europe. The Russian provinces produeo nothing which China fur nishes; they have every advnntago in being put in contact with the innumer able population of the celestial em pire. The immense current of exchanges which will be established between China and Russia by the new railroad will carry life and prosperity into the Siberian steppe. In exploiting China tho Russians will with tho same stroke throw Siberia open to improvement; tlioy will rapidly make it one of the greatest centres of agricultural pro duction in the world, In tho econo mic development of China, Russia l as nothing to lose and everything to gain —Tho Ohautauquan. Language* Number 800. The least learned are aware thai thero are many languages in the world, but tho actual number is probably bo yond the dreams of ordinary people. The geographer Baldj enumerated 800, which are entitled to be considered as distinct languages, and 5000 which may be regarded as dialects. Adulguns, another modern writer on this subject, reckons up 3061 lan guages and dialects existing and which have existed. Even after we have allowed either of these as the number of languages wo must no knowledge the existence of almost in finite minor diversities, for almost every province has a tongue moro or less peouliar, and this we may well believe to be the cose throughout the world at large. It is said that there are little islands lying olose together in the South Seas the inhabitants of which do not understand each other. Of the 860 distinot languages enu merated by Baldi, eighty-nine belong to Europe, 114 to Afrioa, 123 to Asia, 417 to America, 117 Jto Oceania—by which term he distinguishes the vast number of islands stretching between Hindoostan and South America.—Tit- Bits, Stolo tlie Funeral Ribbon. A novel industry was brought to light by the arrest of Nellie McCounell in New York City. It is oustomnry for fashionable florists in that city to garnish their floral deviceß used at funerals with long streamers of broad ribbon of the richest silk or satin. It was for stealing these ribbons from the various cemeteries that Nellie was ar rested, and when she was brought in to court she'declarcd that she had no intention of stealing, but thought it was a pity that such lots of fine ma terial should be allowed to spoil in the open air. The occupation of gather ing the ribbon was a profitable one, as the proceeds of a single morning's work were about $25. - OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR. LAUGHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES hOr, LOVERS OF FUN. I Talent—True Enough—Blow For a Blow— The Point—No Returns—What He Was About—The Usual Fate—The Infant Idea—A Yillanous Schemer, Etc.* Etc. Congress gettln' ready Pur to make a stand, Legislatures raeetln' All around the land. Toung men makln' spooohes. Boys H-studyin' law; Girls learn elocution So's to jine in the hurrah* Who could be distrus'ful, Losln'sleep at night, With all them folks In tralnln* Fur to run the country right? —Washington Star. True Enough. Edna—"Say, Tom, what is tho greatest curiosity in the world?" Tom—"A woman without any." No Return?. "Do you tliiuk there is any money in politics, Jimpson?" "You bet there is. That's where all mine went. "—Detroit Free Press. Blow For a Blow. Mr. Oldboy—"Girls are not as handsome now as they wore twenty years ago." Miss Cute—"Well, are you?"— Ch icago News. Urtcloss Worry. "I'm afraid Wizey thinks a little hard of me." "You're foolish. There's a man that can't think hard on any subject." —Detroit Free Press. What Ho Was About* Lawyer—"l'm afraid you will have a hard timo proving your innoconce." Bill tho Burglar—"Well, hang it! that's what I hired you for."—Phila delphia North American. The Point. Old Mr. Million (passionately) "Miss Gushly, if you were my wife, I would die happy." Miss Gushly (calmly)—" Possibly; but would you?"— Philadelphia Press. The Infant Idea. Tommy—"What is tho guest ol honor at a dinner?" Willie—"Don't you know? Ho's the one that gets tho gizzard aud livei saved for him."—Cincinnati Enquirer. A Vlllanous Schemer. "Why lmvo you decided to lot your whiskers grow?" "I heard my wife's mother say the other day that she couldn't see a man with whiskers eating without losing her appetite."—Chicago Record. The U.ual Fate. "Hopkins has quit tolling funny stories." "Any special reason?" "Yes, he says whenever he tells one he has to listen to several poorer ones from the other man."—Detroit Free Press. Rxpen.lve. "Gobang has lost all his property." "Gracious! How did it happon?" "He was talking to his wife over the telephone wire between Chicago and Now York. They began quarrel ling, aud oaoh ono insisted on huviug the last word."—Now York Journal. Tho Way It Soundod. "What school of musio does the Professor reprosont?" inquired Mrs. Cumrox. "I don't know," her husband an- Bwerod; "but from tho way it sounds to me, I should say it was tho kinder garten."—.Washington Star. A Home Thrust. "No," said tho rioh old bacholor. "I never could find timo to marry." "Well," replied the young woman with tho sharp tongue, "I am now sur prised to hear you say so. It cer tainly would have taken a good while to persuade any girl to havo you." Chicago Record. Tho Pan,, of Death. First Colonel—"Havo you heard the news?" Seoond Colonel—"No; what is it?" First Colonel—"Our old friend. Major Fuller, has quit drinking." Second Colonel—"Do vou mean it sho'?" First Colonel—"Yes. Positive fact." Second Colonel—"Deuoed sorry to hear that. Whoa does the funeral! take plaoe?" An Odd Frelat*. By the death of Mgr. Dusserro, Arohbishop of Algiers, the Freuoh Church loses a very remarkable per sonality. He had not only been a soldier before he entered the Church,, but had fought in several oatnpaigns. His manners were a singular mixtura of the sacred and profane. He enjoyed the company of soldiers, and espeoially of young offioers, whom he would fre quently invite to dine with him, and afterwards, throwing off his long soutane, amuse himself aud them with fenoing aud broad-sword exeroises, in which he excelled. Ibis estimable prelate and whole-hearted man waa greatly beloved in Algeria by 1X classes and creeds. He succeeded to the Arohbishoprio of Algeria in 1892 on the death of Cardinal Lavigerie. He had, however, been Bishop of Constantino sinoe 1878, and was, therefore, as he used to say, "almost an Algerian."—London Chroniole. When Life Began on Earth* Lord Kelvin estimates that the tims Bince the earth became sufficiently cooled to beoome the abode of plants and animals to be about 20,000,00 ft years, within limits of error ranging from 15,000,000 and 30,000,000 years. From similar physioal data Olarenoa King has made an estimate nearly agreeing with this. Warren Uphaia says that geologists generally regard this period aa too short.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers