A Kansas City woman who speaks Teelingly on the subject says that the heaviest work any woman over under took was light housekeeping. The Town Council of Mankato,Kan., may not be unmusical, but it draws the lino at some tunes. In 1894 it im* jposed'a fine of fifty cents on every per son heard whistling or singing "After the Ball," and now an ordinance has been introduced to silence "A Hot Time in the Old Town To-night." The remarkable way in which civ ilization is increasingly coming to in terfere with paganism is illustrated by the fact that the car of Juggernut cannot pass through the streets of Colombo owiug to the interference of the overhead telegraph wires. But that paganism is not yet dead is evi* dent to the New York Observer's sat isfaction, by the circumstances that petitions have been sent to the Gov ernor by the Ceylonese, requesting that the celebration might iirocecd, as twenty-five persons desired to throw themselves under the idol's car. There appears to the New York Com mercial Advertiser "to bo no reason for the assertion that the Cuban insur gents have violated the rules of war in the reported execution of Colonel Ruiz, That officer of the enemy was giver every opportunity to avoid a fate upon which he rushed with blind foolhardi. ness. His correspondence with hit Cuban friend, Colonel Aranguren, whose reported execution is now de nied, carried to him exact 'knowledge of the general order condemning t. death all emissaries bearing th pro posal to accept autonomy. When Bui? persisted, his friend sent back to hiix the order of General Rodriguez, 4 lf hi •fliers autonomy, do your duty,' accom panied by the warning that if the pro posed interview was confined to > friendly chat, or to the independence of Cuba, all would be well; but 'if not for God's sake do not come.' Stil. Jtuiz persisted, and when be met hi* friend and pronounced the fatal wore 'autonomy,' ho condemned himself tc death. There was no way to evade his execution, else the discipline of the entire Cuban army would have been destroyed." However Mr. John Fox, Jr., may seem to maintain that Kentucky—bar ring some counties in the mountains —is very much like other civilized districts, with differences in favor ol Kentucky, things do happen down there that surprise persons who are not centaurs or lineal descendants ol Dauiel Boone, writes E. >S. Martin, in Harper's Weekly. Tho ardor with which eminent Kentuckians enter intc disputes is always somewhat astonish ing to effete Americans in other States. Where else could have developed such a difference as lately obtained as tc which of two Kentucky ladies should christeu the battleship Kentucky? It was settled finally, but not until the din of it bad penetrated the extreme confines of the Union. How painful it all was; Miss Richardson claiming, under a patent from Secretary Her bert; that gentleman's embarrassed disclaimer; and Major Baruk Thomas'* lamentation over the loss of a quart ol Dan Swiggert 1855 whisky, conse crated by him to patriotic uses, and believed to have been absorbed by the Cleveland administration! Eheu Alas! Why has Kentucky no Hans Breitmaun to put its epics into verse\ Within tho last few years the put ting up of canned goods has become one of the most important industries of the United States. Scattered throughout this country at the pres. out time there are not less than 2000 canneries, representing the enormous capital of $75,000,000. The industry is divided into four maiu branches. First comes the canning of food prep arations, such as meats, cereals, aoups and the like, in which branch 6oine 5000 persons aro employed and capital amounting to $7,000,000 is Represented. Next comes the canning of fruits aud vegetables. In this im portant branch of the industry not less than 60,000 persons aro employed, while the capital represented amounts to $30,000,000. This branch of the industry is carried on mainly in Mary land and Now York. Still another branch is concerned with tho canning of preserves and pickles. In this branch of the industry several thou- sand persons are employed. As to the capital represented, it closely approx imates $25,000,000. Last comes the canning of oysters, salmon and other kinds of fish, which employs some 15,- 000 persons, and represents a capital of $13,000,000. The hardships occa sioned by the late war between the States greatly stimulated tho canning industry in this country, but without the least interruption since that time the industry has steadily grown into its present extraordinary proportions. SEED SOWING Sow the seed of soothing kindness, To dispel tho doom and pain; Sow bright words of warmth and welcome, That o'er earth ood will may reign; Sow upon a soli prolific, That shall boar an hundredfold, Cliokini? out the thorns and briers, Turning woods to stalks of gold. Scorn thou not. to sow, moreover, On the Holds loss rich in loam; Should it bear not many measures It will have its harvest homo. If the sower will but barken. Ho will ' oar what God will keep- Whether good or whether evil— What ye sow that ye shall reap. Though tho soil ho scant and sandy And the rock* bo thick and keen. With the hand of faith sow broadly— Some stray soil raav lie unseen; This mav nourish seed sufficient To bring harvest time around; And tho hand or thrift may garner From tho uninviting ground. What though wavsido fowls flv over, You can cover well tho seed; What through tares by satan scattered Should arise in evil greed. Wait, if must be, till the harvest Hi pens grain and tares in turn; Then th grain thou mayest gather. And the tares mnv'st bind and burn. Cow the seeds of !ove and merev, Worthy work for angel hands! Sympathy and truth and justice— Fitting theme for heavenly bands! Bow good will among thy neighbors, Jb-ap reward for thee in store; On tho sower that is faithful Blessings be forever more. —Virgil A. Pink ley, in Brooklyn Eagle. ■ ; T::S SIXTH COMMANDMENT ® F jfPfl h H U notl "g to you that my whole gS? hr.ppiuesa lies nt '• . ;1' £">; morcy? Am J ouly °no more of the many you have flirted with, rj U <W asi(le as if they were children? Ah! God never created any creature more cruel than a beautiful coquette without heart! Do not deny it! Yon have used every charm you possess to make me love you, and have succeeded. You shall listen to mo now. I love you! I love you! I love you! Nay, do not speak. I will not take your final answer to-day. To morrow 1 will come for it. Ah! if it is 4 Yes,' I swear that you shall never regret it. If it is 4 No,' then you will have sent one more mun'to 'hell!' " and without another word Jack Armstrong turned on his heel and left abruptly. Hilda Pluire lookedfafter his retreating figure with a vogue sense of shame. She had MOJ the love of the 4 'woman hater," but tlie victory was leaving a sting in even her hardened coquette conscience, though she tried to feel herself aggrieved at his outburst. "As if I can help men falling in love with me. I cannot marry them all. 1 certainly do like Captain Armstrong, but I don't like matrimony, I want to keep my freedom a little ioager first. A pretty girl can at any time easily get engaged, but it requires an ugly girl to easily get disengaged, so that even beauty has its drawbacks," she con cluded, with a little soft laugh. Then, with the nuconfessed desire to drive the recent interview from her mind, she took up a society paper and soon forgot all tho crumpled rose leaves of her happy, careless life in tho pleas ure of reading a description' of the dress the 4 'beautiful Miss Pliare wore at tho Queen's ball, where,'asjthe belle of tlip season, she was the cynosure of all e}'es." "My dear Hilda, have you heard the dreadful news?" The girl look up from tho comfortable wicker chair where she was reclining lazily under the shade of the old oak on the lawn. "No, what news?" she asked, indif ferently, for her portly aunt's face looked more important than horrified, as she stood by her niece's side, hold ing a largo white and green lined sun shade over her bare head, j "Mrs. Chester shot her husband and that pretty Miss Dene yesterday afternoon, and then killed herself." ! "Oh, how dreadful! What made her do it?" exclaimed Hilda, thor ) oughly roused now, as she sat bolt upright in her chair. "Well, it appears that she caught him kissing this Miss Dene, to whom he had been engaged before he mar ! ried his wife for her money. Fancy ■ shooting both of them like that!" "What a wicked, cruel woman, Mrs. Chester must have been. It was only yesterday morning I rode over to Hill ; Hall to see her new Paris dress. It is quite horrible to think, that I have ; touched the hand of a murderess," and the girl gave a shudder. it is, indeed! lam so very sorry for their poor little daughter, hut, of course, I can never allow Jessie and Pussie to play with her again. I must , go now, for I want to write and tell your Aunt Mary all about it. She will be so interested—shocked, 1 mean," and she returned to the house with that feoliug of pleasurable impor tance wo all experience when we are j the first to tell tho news of some calamity that has befallen our friends. Left to herself Hilda sank back in the wicker chair aud tried by reading to distract her thoughts once more, but this time from thinking of the tragedy at. Hill Hall. The heat, how : ever, made her drowsy, and the paper soon dropped on the grass from the nervoless fingers, and the lids soon i drooped over the beautiful eyes. Suddenly a choking sensation 1 caught the sleeper's throat. She tried Ito move, but could not. Was she dy ing—dying out there alone on tiie j awn? She felt her breath coming quicker and quicker, her strength ebbing faster and faster. Then she seemed to lose all consciousness. "Where was she now? Who were those?" she asked one standing beside her. "They are the souls of She dead waiting till tl\o day dawns and the golden gates are opened." "Then I must be dead, and those must be the gates of heaven, that beautiful place I used to like reading about when a child. I will join tho throng and go in with tliem." And when tho day dawned she also pressed forward towards those golden gates, guarded by but though many passed through, more were turned away. At last only Hilda and another were left. That other was a broken hearted woman, and the girl j shrunk back with loathing when she ! saw it was Mrs. Chester! As she re- | coiled an angel beckoned to the weep- j ing woman, and'she beheld her no! more. But uow the gates were clos- ' iug. Hilda sprang forward and ' stretched out her hands to those | white robed guardians. 4 'You have forgotten me." "There is no forgetting here," came ; the answer. "Then why do you not let mo 1 through?" 44 Your sins expel you." "My sins! My sins! What sins have I committed? What command- , ment have I broken?" questioned the girl, with the surprise of self-con- . vincod innocence. 4 'The sixth commandment. 'Thou | shalt do no murder.' Hilda shrank back in horror, amaze- ! ment, anger. "I commit murder! I, who could never bear to see even a bird shot." "Yes, you aro a murderess," an swered tho ungel, sternly. "You who recoiled from that woman aro much mora guilty. She, in great temptation, in great provocation killed but mortal bodies; you, in mere vani ty, in mere idleness, liave killed im mortal souls! Thinkest thou there is no margin to a commandment. Know you not that though tho text be brief, yet does it overflow beyond the limits of words on the broad margin of mean ing labeling unwritten sins, and you j have broken a marginal command- ! ment, 'Tiiou shalt do no murder.' " "But I have committed no murder," ; reiterated the trembling girl. "Behold and see," aud the angel j passed his hand over the eyes of the belle of the London season. "Yes, she knows that young face ! again. He had been one of her boy- ! isb suitors, whom she had flirted with and then laughed at. He is holding ! a dicebox now in his shaking hand, and j on that dicebox is written one word— ' Hilda.' Ah! who is that drunken man glaring at her with bloodshot eyes? He lifts a glass of spirits, and j on that glass is engraved one word— ! 'Hilda.'" Ah! poor wife of a loveless marriage, j made by the husband in a moment of j pique. Her tears as they fall form one word—"Hilda." Yet another face she sees—the face j of a last year's flirtation. It is pale i with the anguish of death, and on tho ; pistol by bis side is stamped one word "Hilda." Then the girl falls at the feet of tho I angel with an exceeding bitter cry. "I am indeed a murderess." Her own bitter cry awakens Hilda, \ and she starts up trembling in every | limb, to find that the lace scarf around her throat had caught in the wicker chair, which perhaps accounted for j the choking sensation of her dream. | The next day the bell of tho season : said "Yes" to Jack Armstrong, and sealed with two loving lips the death ! warrant of the heartless coquette. (In the Mississippi Giver. The first vessels that ever entered the Mississippi from the sea were the French frigates Renommee and Gir- i onde, January 6tli, 1700. These ves- . sols proceeded as far as the Teuesas, which they reached April 12. The first vessel built on the banks of the Mississippi by white men was launched in 1541, shortly after tho death aud burial of Do Soto. The boatmen and early navigators of tlio present century were long in danger from Indians and pirates. A notorious resort for these was Crows' Nest or Stock Island, aud many fiat boats and crews were sacrificed there until these pests were extor- | miuated by mob law, in 1809. For tho live years following 1822, however, tho destruction by snags on tho Ohio and Mississippi amounted to $1,362,- 500, though the next live years showed but $381,000 loss from the same cause. In 1842 there were 450 steamboats on the Mississippi and its tributaries, with an average burden of 200 tons aud an aggregate value of $7,200,000. in operating these boats about 35,- 750 persons were employed. The average value of the products carried each sear,o:i was something like $200,- 000, or an aggregate of $90,000,000 up to 1842. Previous to tho adoption of steam navigation the whole commerce from New Orleans to the upper country was carried in about twenty barges, averaging 100 tons each and making but one trip a year. There were not over 150 keel boats on the upper Ohio, carrying about thirty tons each and making the trip from Pittsburg to Louisville and back in two months, or about three voyages a season. From | 1811 to 1850 576 boats were lost, i valued at over $7,000,000. In 233 j cases the killed and wounded aggro ! gated 4660. The average age of all i the boats lost was five years. From I 1816 to 1871 there were .89 explosions, j involving a loss of life in each varying I from 1 to 1619.—Pittsburg Dispatch. New York's First Water Supply. In 1798 the best drinking water was procured at tho Tea Water well. This well received its name from the fact that it was the best to use in making tea. It was twenty feet deep and four feet iu diameter. The average daily supply was 14,300 gallons. In hot weather as many as 28,080 gallons a day were sometimes used.—New York Herald. I COWARDICE OF SHARKS. RIG MANEATERS AS SEEN BY AN OFFICER OF THE NAVY. Tlioy Won't Attack Two Men Together— A Splashing Scare* Them—Friendship of Shark* and Pilot Fifth—lnatinct of Shark* in Cases of Death on Ships. "I have had some experience with maueaters," said a naval officer to a New York Sun representative, "and I believe with the Kanakas of Hawaii that sharks are cowards. In the space of twenty-five years of seagoing, a good deal of it in shark-infested waters, I have never seou or hoard of a case where a maneater, or a whole school of them, for that matter, brushed up enough nerve to tackle two swimming, diving or castaway men or boys when both stuck to gether. The most ferocious of sharks will attack a man only when he is alone in the water, and, even then, if the man has sufficient presence of mind to keep up a powerful splashing oil the surface of the water, ho has a good chance to scare the shark off. "Sharks don't like to tackle any thing that churns up the water. They've got to turn upside down to get at their prey, and this position does not enable them to see very well even when their prey is pursuing an even or clear course through the water, or is quite stationary, in fact; but when the object they decide to tackle begins to lash tho water into foam and suds, nine times out of ten they will turn fin and drill out of the way. Natives of the Pacific islands are aware of this characteristic, which accounts for tho fact that you novel see a Pacific island native swimming in the sea by himself. He always goes in with one or more companions for the sako of the lashing they can all give the water together in case sharks begin to nose . around, and also because they under stand the fear the shark has of attack ing two or more human beings who re main close together in the sea. Once in a while one of the swimming island ders carelessly permits himself to be come separated from his companions, and this is the opportunity of the shark. Under such circumstances the man eater is foxy enough to get between the detached man and his companions and to keep below the surface of the sea so that his tell-tale fin shall not show above the water and reveal his presence to the doomed native. Then lie slips under his human prey, per forms his little turning-over trick, makes an upward swoop every bit as swift as the lightning-like descent of an eagle and grabs the native by the leg, and when the grabbed man's com panions notice that ho is missing and swim out in the direction where they last saw him—keeping close together and pounding the water pretty hard— they find nothing but little eddies of blood on the surface of the water. The native is torn to pieces in a twinkling by many sharks who, I verily believe, wait below for the pulling off of these baggings. "Man-of-war's men wlio liavo cruised is the Southern seas have caught the trick of the islanders in avoiding swim ming singly in shark-iufested waters, and in kicking up a great to-do in the water in case they become accidentally separated from their shipmatos when in swimming. Swimming call is sounded on United States men-of-war about an hour before snudown on ships cruising in tropical latitudes— when tho ships are at anchor in port, of course—and the men who want to eool off jump oft'the decks by tho score. I have seen old-timers who knew sharks and their cowardly ways hop by the dozen right into big schools of fierce looking maneaters. They'd all jump into the water at the same time, and iu less time than it takes for me to tell it tho sea a hundred yards away would be dotted with sharks' fins. They'd screw their way out of the neighbor hood of the swimming men just as quick as they knew how, _ and they wouldn't come back, cither, until the galley cooks threw their garbage over board and thus attracted them back again. "Sharks become mightily attached to the little pilot fish that guide them around the waters of the sea in search of eatables. In spite of apparent energy and activity, sailors who have made a study of the Characteristics of sharks declare that these cowardly sea-devils are too lazy to hunt for food themselves and that they would starve to death if they were not led around by their attending pilot fish. Every full-grown shark has a pilot fish for a guide, and these little chaps are cer tainly faithful attendants and foragers. Tho pilot fish sails along about ten feet in advance of the shark and is about the noisest little deep-water fish conceivable. Sailors call the pilot fish rubber-ueckers, on account of the general air of curiosity that marks their every movement through the water in advance of their big pro tectors. In return for the service performed for him by the pilot fish, the shark protects his little guide and forager from the onslaughts of other natural enemies. "For twenty years or so I ridiculed the sailors' idea that sharks follow a ship on which a death is impending. Wo had a boy die of Asiatic cholera aboard our ship while wo were in Honolulu harbor two years ago last August. He died in less than ten hours after he was stricken. At dawn of the morning he died the sea for a hundred yards around the ship was literally covered with sharks, and we killed many of them from the poop with ritles, hitting some of them half a dozen times. There had been only occasional sharks around the ship be fore tlrnt. The incident convinced the men that, if sharks didn't know when r death impended on a ship, they had away of finding out about it *fter the death occurred.'' START OF ONE MILLIONAIRE. Earned nil First Ten Dollars Tnrowlnc a Circus llerealcs. "Ilad I caught my trnin that night," lauglmd the man who had nothing to do for a quarter of a century but sit and watch pine trees grow to swell his bank account, "I would probably be a farmer now, trying to raise a mortgage and a few other things. I had gone to a little town in lower Wisconsin to see a colt there that a man wonted to sell me. I was a good judge of stock and shrewd on a trade, but n greener country lad never broko into a town. 1 would have walked back to the fnrm after I found myself too late for the train, but I saw a handbill announc ing a show that night, and couldn't re sist the temptation to see it, though it did cost a quarter. "In my hilario us appreciation I was more of an entertaiivment than they had 011 the stage, especially as I was utterly oblivious to the fact that I did not look like any one else in the audi ence. Toward the end a huge fellow came out, tossed cannon balls and lift ed heavy weights. After this showing of his prowess he offered 810 to any one whom he could not throw inside of two minutes. I was the crack wrestler in all our section, though none know it, and I felt as though the challenge was aimed directly at me. I turned hot and cold during a few sec onds of intense silence. Then I sprang up, and as I came out of my old blouse, shouted: 'l'll go you, b'gosh.' There was a roar of laugh ter, and then some of those about me urged me not to go up there and have my neck broken. But one old man told me to go in. It was a tough job, but I finally threw the giant almost through the floor with a hiplock. There was a little hesitancy about giv ing me the 811), but the crowd shout ed till I got it. Then the old man took me home with him,and in a week I had charge of ail the teams in his lumber camps. In timo I became a partner, and he cleared the way to make me rich. That was really a match for a million."—Detroit Free Press. 1v Shark*. Will Morrisey and Honry Jones re turned to Harper Springs, Fla., re cently from a trip down the bay, hav ing been imprisoned 011 a sand key for nearly three days by sharks. They left hero nearly a week ago on a hunt ing and fishing trip. The second day they succeeded in harpooning a big shark and after half an hour's work got him close to the boat. One of the boys hit him with an ax and his blood dyed the water, calling up a score of sharks from all directions. The men saw they were in trouble and they immediately set sail and tried Id get away. The sharks' followed them and began attacking the boat. One of them leaped out of the watei and fell across it, crushing it. By this time the boat was within a few rods of Mud Island, a small sandbed of about an acre in extent. The men finally got on the key, narrowly escap ing the ferocious sharks. Their boat drifted near the land and they were enabled to secure their provisions from the water. During the night mosquitoes made life miserable for them. An inspection early in the morning showed thattlicy were besieged, as they wero surround ed by scores of sharks. They swam around on all sides. The men set up an oar with a shirt tied to it as a dis tress signal, but it was not until the second day that the crew of a fishing schooner saw them and came to their rescue. As the schooner came to the land the sharks made an attack on the boat, but the sailors had several Win chesters and tlioy plied a merry war for a few moments, shooting eight of the big sharks, the others being fright ened nwny. Couldn't ISo Fooled Twice. There is a fox terrier of remarkable intelligence installed as ruling factor in a very happy and harmonious household uptown, says the New Or leans Times-Democrat. One of the favorite amusements of the terrier is playing with a soft rubber ball. The other day a member of the family filled the soft ball with water. The terrier pounced upon the ball, chewed down on it, squirted the water down hia throat and dropped the ball. After repeated efforts ho emptied the ball of water and enjoyed his play. The next day he again found the ball full of water, and for a while seemed very disconsolate as he gaz*d sadly at the toy. He left it for a few minutes, and then, rushing at the ball, deliberately stepped upon it with one of his front feet and stood upon it until the water was all squeezed out. Squelclilng a Bore With Wit. A bright answer is put down to tlio credit of Dr. Fitchett, brother of the editor of the Australian Review of Re views. He was a member of a Colonial Parliament, wherein one day a certain eccentric and elderly member named Taylor insisted on making a speech on education. The oration consisted of n hyperbolical eulogy of tho Board of Schools in Mr. Taylor's constituency. Dr. Fitchett interjected some jocose expression of doubt. "Why, sir," said the irate Taylor, turning upon him, "at this very moment; I have a school in my eye—" "No; only ono pupil, Mr. Taylor," retorted tho doctor, and tlio orator's eloquence was drowned in laughter.— London News. Each Gets a Shoe. A. D. Campbell and Gomel* Davies, Northern Kansas editors, are each minus a leg, Campbell tho right and Davies the left. When one buys a pair of shoes he sends the odd shoe to the other, both wearing the same size. Saturday each presented the other with a new shoe as a Christmas pres ent.—Topeka telegram to tha Chicago Chronicle. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Wlion n Girl's Grown Up—A Solution of tlio Problem—Not a lfopeless Cave rn* Line—Putting on Her Wrap*— A Fine Recommendation, Etc., Etc. She has ceased to bclievo there's a roan iu tho moon, But she can't prot out of her head The old idea that there is one In hiding under the bed. —Chicago New 3. A Solution of t-lio Problem. "No, Willie, dear," said mamma, "no more cake to-night. Don't yfu know you cannot sleep well on a fuU stomach?" "Well," repliedWellie, "lean sleep on my back." Putting on Iter Wrap*. She (smiling)—" Your face is too near to mine." He—"lt's two inches away, and that's as bad as a thousand miles." She (poutiugly)—"lt wouldn't be for some men."—Harlem Life. Not a Hopeless Case. He —"I shall never marry until I meet a woman who is my exact op posite, mentally." She—"Why don't you ask Misj Floyd? She is considered one of the most intellectual girls in town."— Truth. Ills Line. Miss Wabash—"Your friend who has just left us is something of a pessimist, I imagine." Miss Halsted—"lndeed, ho isn't. He's an optician, and he has the cream of the West Side trade."—Chi cago News. Her Assumed Name.' Zim (iu deep whisper)—" There gor*j a woman who is living under an as sumed name." Zam (disgustedly)—" Eats! Why, that's Mrs. Brown!" Zim—"l know it." Her name v/as Jones before she was married." Marvellous Growth. "Is your town booming out there in the mining district, Slicks?" "I should say ;so. It's more won derful than magic. I pitched my tent in a bole in the ground one even ing and when I waked up I was in the cellnr of a union depot."—Detroit Free Press. Thorn Ware Othnrn. Alamie (singing)—"My was a lady—" Aggie (interrupting)—"Aw, shut up! so wuz mo ladder." Mamie—"Wotclier giviu' me?" Aggie—"Dai's dead right—he wuz de bearded lady in a dime musee fer t'ree years."—Puck. A Fine Recommendation. Her Father—"How do you know you lovo my daughter? You've only been agipiainted a few weeks." The Suitor—"That is true; but I see that you've just negotiated a loan of 51,000,000. A man who can do that is the kind of person I want for a father-in-law."—Chicago News. To Please Little Tommy. Old Lady—-"Yon said the train that I should take leaves at 10.30, didn't you?" Booking-Clerk—"Yes, madam; and I think I've told you that about ten times already." Old Lady—"Yes, "I know you have; but mv little nephew says he likes to hear you talk."—Tit-Bits. Papa Uivn. Way. Alamma (to Tiny Tot, who wants to deprive her younger brother of a delicacy they have both set their hearts on) —"No, darling, you must let baby have it now. and when he grows up, and you are a yonng lady, lie will have to give way to yon." Tiny Tot —"Is that why papa al ways has to do as you want, mummy?" —Punch. Tho Newest '•Safe.** Mr. Harl AI. Flatte—"Aud this is my music room!" Visitor (iu nmazemcnt) —"Music room! Why—er—isn't it—er—rather peculiar?" Mr. Harl AI. Flatto—"Yes; slightly. You sec, when I close the door it is hermetically sealed. Whon the ama teur musicians in the neighboring flats commence hammering on their pianos and blowing on their cornets I retire here, shut the door and am safe." —Puck. A Purist. Boston Conductor—"Faro, please." Passenger—"What is the fare?" Conductor—"lt is the tariff or tax levied by the corporation owning and controlling the charter and franchise of this ,\treetear line on those persons who avail themselves of the oppor tunity afforded them by the company to seeure more rapid and agreeablo transportation than pedal locomotion." Passenger —"How much is the f are ?" Conductor —"Five cents, please."— Detroit Free Press. Conversation. "He will come to-night," mused Beryl. With a sigh, she drew back the cur tains and gazed out into the darkling dusk; for her father's house was Touilt with a view to convenience, and she could do that." "What shall I say to him?" The horse show was no more; tho six-day bicycle race was a thing of the past. She did not understand football. There was nothing left but the weather and currency reform.—De troit Journal. Candles and Electricity. The estimated total candle power ol all the eleotrio lamps need in New York City it plaoed at 50,000,000. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. 'The Polar currents contain less sal! than those from the Equator. There are 4000 muscles in th( body of a caterpillar, and the eye of < dragoon fly contains 28,000 polishei lenses. An international scientific associa tion was proposed at the meeting ol the British Association in Canada ii 1884, and it is now suggested that tb< year 1900 would be an appropriate time to organize such a society. Some unfortunates, we are told bi M. Phillipe Tissie, are "born tired' in n literal sense. The condition ii one of nervous debility transmitted b; a mother to her offspring as a result a her own fatigue or exhaustion—a kini of poisoning of the child through tin vitiated blood of the parent. Some scientists think that thi earth's interior is composed of white hot molten matter. Others are of tht opinion that the pressure is so great that all substances have been con densed beyond our powers of coneep tion. Dr. Young goes so far as to saj that a block of steel ten feet squart would be pressed into a block onlj two feet square if taken 4000 miles be low the earth's surface. Dr. Howard, the new Secretary ol the American Association for the Ad vancemeut of Science, writing of th manner in which seeds are carried to great distances by birds, recited a experience of Darwin which had i curious result. Adhering to the leg of a wounded partridge, Darwin found i ball of earth weighing six and a hall ounces. From the seeds contained it this ball he raised thirty-two planti belonging to five distinct species. The microbes of fevers may be scat tered, Professor Charles Tichborno be lieves, in dews from sewers. As th sewer water is usually two or threo degrees warmer than the cold air of eertain hours of the night, tho watery rapor rising through traps may be frequently condensed, when each parti jle of dew is liable to become a raft on which microbes may be carried foi miles, to be finally deposited wherever '.he dew is dissipated—perhaps in a lwelliug reached through a warm shaft. The phosphorescent lamp on which Puluj, an Austrian physicist, has been it work for many years, lias a bulb :mu-h like that of the ordinary incan descent lamp, with electrodes of alum inum wire extending directly through ihe wall of the bulb. The negative pole terminates in a small disc. A miall square sheet of mica, coated with sulphide of calcium, hangs from ;Lie lamp globe and faces tho disc. When either one or both poles are ;ounected to nu induction coil or plate jlectric machine a stream of radiant ileotricity is reflected from the disc to -lie mica, causing the latter to glow with brilliant phosphorescence. Two Telephone Stories. A green-looking man jame to towD ihe other day with a small bucket of very white butter to sell, and called ju Will Matthis to buy it. 110 said he didn't want any at the store, but be would inquire if his wife wanted any. So he stepped to the telephone, called her up and talked for a few seconds through the instrument. Then turning to the countryman, who was standing with his hands in his pock sts, his eyes dilated and his face very red, he told him that his wife said she would not need any butter. The indignant countryman blurted out: "Look hero, mister, if you didn't want any butter, why didn't you say so? I niu't such a fool as to think that you've got your wife in that lit tle box." —Elizabethtowu (Ivy.) News. Mr. and Airs. J. came to town the ather day. The madam is a large, muscular looking woman, and is evi dently tho boss of the ranch; while Mr. J. is a cowed, effeminate-looking creature who seems to bo afraid when the madam is around. While Mrs. I. went into Goldnamer's to do some shopping, the little man slipped into Bell's to get a drink. While he was down there he heard tho telephone ring, and inquired what it was. The mysteries of the instrument were ex plained and Air. Bell offered to call np his wife at Goldnamer's and let him talk to her. This seemed to please him very much, but just as he qot the trumpet to his oar the light ning struck the wire and knocked him down. Staggering to his feet he said: "That's her; it sounds just like her."—Louisville Dispatch. Earthquake llestorert Speech* Earthquakes as therapeutic agencies may yet form the subject of scientific investigation. The recont disturbance in Helena was responsible for some queer things, and the strangest ol them all, perhaps, happened in the home of Mr. and Airs. Charles W. Marden, where it brought speech tc their daughter, Etta, who had been silent ten years. "I don't know whether it was the earthquake or not," said Mrs. Alarden, "but something made Etta talk, for } heard her. We were awakened by the earthquake, which came at 2:30 o'clock in the morning. I did not know what it was, and at first thought that some thing bad happened to Etta. I jumped up and ran to her and said. 'O, Etta, what is the matter? To my surprise she replied, 'What?' It was only a word, but it sounded sweet to me. "Sinoe then I think that Etta ha( shown more interest in things. At any rate she is improved."—Helena (Montana) Independent. A New Problem In Law. A dumb prisoner who can't read oi write is providing a delioate problem in law for one of the London oourts. He can plead neither guilty Qor no. gnilty, and Is unable to oommaniute with his solicitor, which is one of hit privileges. So the question is raised whether a special act of Parliament trill be required.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers