From 1871 to 1891 2,000,000 Ger mans left their native land. At the last census of this country a number of people described their religious faith on their census papers as "dollars and cents." Professor Lucy Salmon, Vassar Col lege, is strongly in favor of the abo lition of the college commencement, -which she characterizes as "a relic of mediaevalißin." In fifty years of the existence of navings banks in Massachusetts they have had under their control the enormous sum of $2,100,000,000. They still control upwards of $500,- 000,000 and yet the entire loss to de positors in this half century, charge able to fraud, fault or u error, has been less than $2,000,000. Mancher F. Glidewell has conveyed to the Church of Christ, in Indian apolis, Ind., valuable real estate, on condition that the trustees never per mit the introduction of an organ, choir or musical instrument inside the church walls, and that fairs, festivals and all other gatherings not enumer ated in the New Testament be inter dicted. A failure to carry out these restrictions forfeits the real estate to the faction opposing any innovations in church worship. In compliance with an order of the Missouri State Board of Health in re gard to quarantine, all officers who take prisoners to the penitentiary must carry with them a certificate of health signed by a local physician and coun tersigned by the Secretary of the State Board of Health, which certificate must Btate that the prisoner has not been ex posed to any contagious disease for thirty days prior to his transfer to the penitentiary. This certificate must he approved by the Secretary of the State Board of Health at St. Louis. The reports from Manila that reach Hongkong in private letters are not so roseate as the Spanish official returns. These private correspondents, who have no motive for misrepresenting facts, declare that the authorities are making no material progress in sup pressing the insurrection. The rebels are getting more confident, and if they only had a supply of good arms they ■would not hesitate to attack Manila it self. The Spanish cause in the Philip pines, as in Cuba, nas been injured seriously by the atrocious cruelties of the officers and the wholesale execu" tions of suspects. Secretary Coburn, of the State De partment of Agriculture, has issued a special report on the poultry and egg industry of Kansas. The product for 1896 amounted to 53,608,815, a sum sufficient to pay all the State and city taxes of the preceding year and leave a surplus of $175,000. No field crops, with the exception of wheat, corn, and hay, equalled in value the poultry in dustry. The yield from poultry was ninety-five per cent, greater than the same year's output of lead and zinc mines of the State, and twenty-three per cent, greater than the total paid for teachers' wages and school super vision. In fact, the poultry came •within fourteen per cent, of paying the entire cost of the public schools. The poultry product was ten per cent, greater in value than the potato crop, and within twenty-three per cent, of the value of all the coal mined in the State for the preceding year. The average value of poultry and eggs sold annually in the State for the past five years was $3,333,562. "The city of Melbourne," declares the New York Times, "is one of the greatest colonial centers in the world and is so situated that it has had the doubtful advantage of testing nearly all the new-fangled notions of munici pal ownership and paternal govern ment generally. The result is not at all encouraging. The population has been declining rapidly since 1891, •when the census showed a total of 490,900. The decrease for 1896 is of ficially stated at 3848 souls, and for the five and three-quarter years since the census the net decline is put at 42,486. This is a condition which might well appall any city, but it has been made worse by extravagant financing. The corporation indebted ness of Melbourne and its suburbs is now little less than 850,000,000. The annual interest upon this enormous total by the time the Board of Works haH completed its extensive borrow ings will amount to about 82,125,000, though the population iB not only fall ing off so rapidly, but is nlso growing poorer every year. Colonial authori ties still speak hopefully of the out look, but the future seems depressing to the foreign observer. The greater part of the immense debt is due for public improvements which have been lavishly distributed." THE CHARLEY ROSS CASE AN ABDUCTION CASE THAT ATTRAC TED WORLD-WIDE ATTENTION. The Story Revived by the Death of the Hoy's Father—Tlo Roy Was Carried Off for a Heavy Ransom, but was Never Recovered by llis Parents. The Philadelphia Telegraph gives the following account of the abduction of Charley Ross, brought to mind by the recent death of the boy's father: I Charley Ross and his elder brother, Walter, were playing in front of their home on East Washington street, Ger mantown, when two men came along in a buggy or light spring wagou. These same men had passed by on ! three or four preceding days 'and had given Charley candy. On this fateful j day Charley, according to the story subsequently told by Walter, had asked the men for a ride. The men told him they would give him a ride from the top of a near-by hill, and also promised to give him firecrackers. | The two boys walked to the top of the hill, and they were then taken into the wagon. i Walter wanted the men to take them to Main street for the fireworks, but the abductors said they would take them to "Aunt Susie," a fictitious per son. The men plied the boys with candy, while the team was driven rapidly toward Kensington. Charlie cried and begged to be taken home. At Palmer and Richmond streets Walter was given a quarter and di rected to get fireworks in a cigar store. The boy obeyed, and returned to find the wagon, the men and his curly-haired brother gone. His tears ! brought a crowd, and in this crowd ; was H. C. Peacock, a friend of the family, who took the boy to his par ents. The elder brother told an accurate and coherent story of the abduction and gave a full description of the ad ductors. His story was corroborated and a general alarm was sent out to the police. A reward of S3OO was offered for the return of the boy aud adver tisements were sent to all newspapers in this part of the country. Mrs. Ross was ill at Atlantic City, and the news of her loss was kept from her for some days. The police were unable to discover a trace of the child, aud it was not uu -1 til July 4 that anything in the nature of a clue came to the searchers. This was in the shape of a letter from the supposed abductors. It was grossly illiterate and evidently purposely so. The letter informed Mr. Ross that the abductors held the boy so securely that no earthly power could reach him, and that he would not be delivered without the payment of a big ransom. The father was warned that anv at tempt to recover the boy by detectives would result in his in stunt death. The writer promised to communicate with Mr. Ross within a few days. Two days later they wrote demand ing $20,000 ransom for the return of the boy. This sum was promptly raised by friends of Mr. Ross, but the police stepped in and asked to be given the conduct of the case. This was granted, aud Mayor Stokeley of fered a reward of $20,000 for the ar rest of the kidnapers and the return of the boy. This immense reward attract ed world-wide attention and set thou sands of detectives at work and mil lions of tongues wagging. During several weary months Mr. Ross received sixteen letters from the abductors, but they were so carefully disguised that no clue to the writers could bo found. The entire com munity had become intensely excited over the case, and volunteers stood guard over almost every letter box in the city, but with no result. Public interest was at fever heat, and meet ings of citizens were held in every part of the city. Staid men of business dropped their commercial pursuits and became amateur detectives. Others wrote books on the subject, some of which were serious and of value, while others were the emanations of cranks. Several persons became absolute maniacs on the subject of the abduc tion. Two men who had devoted years of study to the subject took the lecture platform, in addition to writing books, and kept up the agitation until recent years. What became of the child was never positively settled. It is generally be lieved that he was drowned in the North River, New York, while his abductors were fleeing from detectives. But it was pretty well established that William Mosher and Joseph Douglass, notorious burglars, took the boy from his home. They were shot while try ing to rob the residence of Judge Van Brunt at Bay Ridge, N. Y., and in their death throes confessed that they had taken Charley Ross. Walter Rosa fully identified them. 1 William Westervelt, a brother-in-law of Mosher, had acted as go-between in the negotiations with Mr. Ross and the abductors. He was brought to Phila delphia, tried and convicted of com plicity in the conspiracy to abduct the boy, and was sentenced to seven years in the Eastern Penitentiary. In the presence of Detective Miller the wife of the convicted man begged him to tell what lie knew of the crime, but he maintained a stolid silence, and if he ever knew anything he never told it. He served his sentence and is ' supposed to have returned to New , York. A Premature Publication. j Owing to the cat being let out of the bag too soon the "Map of Africa by Treaty" by the librarian of the British Foreign Office has just ap peared in a second edition, the first edition having been hastily suppressed, as the boundaries marked indiscreetly showed the boundaries England in | tended to demand in the near future J and not those generally acknowledged i to belong to her SICK-ROOM HINTS. \ For cramps or pains in the stomach try a tew drops of essence of camphor. For a nervous headache a cup of moderately strong tea in which two or three Blices of lemon have been in fused. For tired feet put a handful of com mon salt into four quarts of hot water. Place the feet in the water while it is hot as it can be borne. Then rub the feet dry with a rough towel. For making a clear complexion stir two teaspoonfuls of flowers of sulphur into half a pint of new milk. Let it stand a while, and then rub the face over with it a short time before wash ing. For binding up cuts and wounds always use linen, not cotton, as the fibres of cotton are flat and apt to irritate a sore place, while those of linen are perfectly rounded. For baldness try the following tonic: Liquid ammonia, almond oil and chloroform each one part; alcohol, five parts; oil of lemons, one dram. Apply freely and often after first thoroughly brushing the hair. This is a mild stimulant and perfectly safe. For a nail-cleaning liquid use the following lotion: Tartaric acid, one dram; tincture of myrrh, one dram; eau de Cologne, two drams; distilled water, three ounces. Dissolve the acid in the water, mix the tincture of myrrh and eau de Cologne and add to the acid solution. Dip the nails in this solution, wipe and polish with a chamois pad.—New York Tribune. Very Largo Dog. Nero, a dog owned by Wayne Bailey, of Rutland, is said to be the largest canine in the world, says the Vermont Phoenix. He tipped the scales Friday at 2G7 pounds, and would undoubtedly have gone ten pounds better three weeks ago. Nero iRa handsome half German and half English mastiff, fawn brindle in color, his huge head being of a tri fle darker shade. He is as agile and lively as a cat. He makes a splendid watch dog, but is a kind and affection ate animal. Mr. Bailey bought him at West Rut land when he was six months old; he is now four years old. At the time of purchase Nero weighed 102 pounds. The animal stands up from the ground thirty-five inches and girths fifty inches. The dog's neck is unusu ally large, measuring thirty inches, and from tip to tip lie measures six feet five and one-half inches. Dwelt in a Tree Trunk. The trial of John Rhodes for vagrancy in the police court at Kansas City, Mo., the other ilny disclosed the fact that he and his two sons had been living in a big hollow near the Chi cago, Milwaukee and St. Paul bridge since last March. Rhodes is a wagon maker, fifty-two years old. Since he went to Kansas City from Logansport, Ind., a year ago, he did no work, but depended for existence on what his two sons could beg. Being driven out of a hut last March, lie moved into a large hollow tree on the banks of the Missouri River. There he would sleep, while his sons were out begging food and clothing. Policeman Kennedy arrested him for vagrancy. J. C. Groenman, humane agent, took charge of his sous and wants to find homes for them. They are bright boys. Their mother is dead. Want Hugs Protected. For some time past British ento mologists, or bug-liunters, have been exercised over the extermination of certain insects in consequence of the zeal of the collectors, who roam over the country with butterfly nets. It would be difficult to protect butterflies and moths by legislation, as has been done for birds; so an association has been formed under the auspices of the Entomological Society of London. The members agree to leave rare in sects alone for awhile and to do all in their power to curb the sporting in stinct in others. The insect collector who abides by it will be more than human, remarks London Graphic. Imagine a stamp collector agreeing not to pick up a rare specimen from the roadside, yet a similar temptation will be met nnd have to be resisted by the insect collector. IntercHtiiiK to the I'rosililent. President McKinley Thursday passed through the spot where he received his first recognition as a public ser vant. When the splendid presidential train on the Chesapeake and Ohio rail way reached Gauley Bridge, W. Va., Mr. McKinley looked out the window of his observation car and remarked: "This place seems familiar to me. It was here that I joined General Hayes's brigade in December, 1804." A member of the presidential party happened to remember it was at Gau ley' s Bridge that General Hayes wrote in his diary December 10, 180-4: "Our new Second Lieutenant, Mc- Kinley, joined us to-day. He is a gentlemanly and intelligent young of ficer, and we all like him very much.' Chicago Times-Herald. Killed by Potato Bugs. Charles Price, a farmer, residing near Hamburg, Ind., is dead, as the result of poison from potato bugs. He was at work in his potato patch killing the beetles that were devour ing the plants. Swarms of bugs alighted on his face and hands, which were soon impregnated with the poison. He died in great agony. Birdi* Within the Arctic Circle. I It has been a source of interest and wonder to Arctic explorers to find such quantities of singing birds within the Arctic circle. They are abundant be yond belief. But the immense crops of cranberries, crowberries and cloud berries that ripen in the northern swamps account for the presence of i the birds, A ITandy Garden Cart. The sketch herewith shows n cross between a wheelbarrow and a four wheeled cart that will be found very conveniont. It is long and light and fitted for carrying almost any kind of a load. Sides and a front end can be life—~zr CART TOR TIIE GARDEN. provided if needed. Let the rims of the wheels be wide, so that they may not cut into the ground. The rods at the rear keep such loads as cornstalks, branches from pruning, etc., from the wheels, but permit boxes or baskets to be set in between them.—New Eng land Homestead. To .Break Up h Sitting Hen. Tt is so natural for the hen to sit after continuous laying until her egg supply is temporarily exhausted that we used when keeping hens to let them have their own way generally and bring off their broods. One of the most beautiful sights in the farm yard is the mother hen watching her little brood, calling them to a favorite morsel, or uttering the warning cry which every little chick understands when some strauge object above her gives the alarm. A piece of news paper blown by the wind is to the hen's imagination a dangerous bird of prey. While the lieu is sitting, if she is fed and watered twice a day she is probably recovering her strength and bringing forward another lot of eggs quite as fast as she would be if run ning at large. It really does the hen good to raise her little family, and with the Asiatic breeds we doubt whether you will lose any eggs by it. The trouble is that while the hen is sitting she is usually partly starved, and so it takes longer for her to re cover. If fed only wheat with plenty of pure water, and in separate dish the curd of milk, Plymouth Rock hens will often begin to lay eggs while kept in the coop with chicks too small to care for themselves. Yet it is not hard to prevent the hen from sitting if you want to. Place the hen in a coop where she can have no place to make a nest, and with a young rooster from another pen, if possible. After & few days of this treatment, giving only water and wheat grains, the liens may be turned out and will soon go to lay ing again.—Boston Cultivator. Marking the Milk. Where the milk is set in shallow pans it is wise to mark each day's milk, as "Tuesday morning," "Tues day night," etc. In this way one can see at a glance just when to skim, and does not have to stop to reckon up the number of pans used each day. It is / HOW TO MARK MILK. also often desired to mark a particular cow's milk, in order to observe its quality. A label and method of at tachment is shown in the cut. A strip of pasteboard has its end bent over and wire inserted as shown. The fold is glued down, thus holding the wire. Bend the double wire and hang it over the pan's edge. Browing Fall Turnips. Where the land is fresh and free from the seeds of foul weeds, fall turnip seed may be sowu broadcast from the first of July until the middle of August, depending on the season, and covered with a light smoothing or brush harrow. Prepare the land very carefully and pulverize and compact, the seedbed thoroughly. New ground the second year from sod gives best re sults. The soil is then rich in plant food and in good tilth. A piece of sod ground broken during the sum mer and seeded to wheat in the fall makes nn excellent turnip field the following season, after the wheat has been hnrvested. Ordinarily such land will not produce a sufficient number of weeds to interfere with the full de velopment of the turnips. Four or five pounds of seed to the acre will give about the right stand. In sections of the country where new land is not available, truck patches from which early vegetables have been removed will answer admirably. Often wheat land is plowed as soon as the gain has been removed and seoded to turnips. The ground must be rich, for turnips are gross feeders, but soil containing an excess of vegetable mat ter will cause an excessive growth of tops, to the detriment of root devel opment. A cool, moist climate is very favorable to the growth of turnips and for this reason the seed should be put in late if the season is dry, then most of the growth will take place in fall. While broadcasting answers very well on new land, the best results are obtained only when sown in rows and cultivated. Have the rows about two feet apart and the plants anywhere from six to twelve inches apai t in the row. Give level culture, keep tho land free from weeds and stir the sur face often. Turnips are a valuable winter feed for sheep and cattle, particularly the former. When fed to milk cows give just after milking. Otherwise the milk may be given an unpleasant odor and the butter an undesirable taint. They must not he fed in excess to any stock but when other succulent feeds cannot be fed, turnips are invaluable. —American Agriculturist. Hisli Farming; on Cheap I.and. The greatest difficulty in the way of good farming in this country has al ways been that prices of laud were so low that those engaged in farming have been tempted to buy more land than they could profitably work. There should always be an amount of work ing capital equal to at least half of what is invested in land. This should be done even though the land be only partly paid for. It is much better to leave a part of the cost of land put in a mortgage whose interest can be met every year, than to pay all the money down and leave nothing to work the land with. In a great majority of cases it is the floating capital, rather than that invested in land, which pays the greatest rate of profit. Farmers have been complaining for years that the merchant, who makes ten to twen ty-five per cent, on his merchantable stock, has the advantage of them. They are tied to their farms, and like the man holding fast by the wolf's tail, cannot, safely, let go, while it takes all their energies to simply hold on and prevent the wolf from turning and rending them. On high-priced land near cities most of the higli-pi'ieed farm stock is kept. It is usually far more profitable than the stock of the merchant, for that, ex cept in case of a change in the mar kets, cannot increase in value, and is much more likely to decrease. The merchant's stock cannot iucrease iu amount as can that of the breeder. To be sure, tile breeder has losses by casualties to animals, but these are fully offset if not more by the bad debts that the merchant accumulates on his ledger. If the breeder manages rightly his stock may be made to in crease with its product thirty to more than one hundred per cent. There is no kind of business so safe from loss, other than farming, that pays so well as this. Why then is it that so many farmers are poor? It is because they trust too much to their land to sustain them without having the capital to make the best use of it. Most low-priced land is so because it is far from market; that may make such land unsuitable for growing the fancy breeds of stock that can usually ouly be sold by having those who in tend purchasing visit the farm and in specting stock on the ground. Yet when a farmer is known to have an extra good class of stock he will find customers for it, even if they do find it not very convenient to visit and in spect it. There is no surer way to make the farm richer than to use it for stock-breeding purposes. If the fer tility is put into the soil, there need be no fear that some means will be found for making it profitable. It was the virgin and fertile soils of the Northwest that attracted settlement from all parts of the world. Increase fertility anywhere and the land will never lack purchasers. —American Cultivator. Horse Hints. Being gentle with a horse will help him to be gentle. Keep the colt fat and he will make an easy-going horse. Sores on horses' shoulders are large ly the result of ill-fitting collars. An excess of food weakens a work ing animal and disables it from work. If young teams are overloaded they are apt to become discouraged or vicious. Take the horse to the harness shop and see that a collar fits him before you buy it. To a very considerable extent the most costly farming is that done with poor teams. The farmers will always be poor who continue to raise SSO horses at an expense of SIOO. Blood, food, care and training are the essentials necessary for producing a first-class horse. There are few diseases to which horses are subject but are easier pre vented than cured. Good grooming does not only add to the animal's comfort, but to its healthfulness as well. The best farm horse is the one with a kind and tractable disposition, well broken and serviceable. Feeding a little wheat bran with the other grain will help to make tho horse's hair sleek and glossy. The feed and care necessary to raise a poor horse costs as much iu every way as it d<js for one of the best. A horse needs exercise every day to keep his system properly regulated aud make his hair bright and sleek. When the horse is brought in from work he should be given a good drink; if too warm to drink he is too warm to eat. The largest estates in Austria aro those of Prince Schwartzenburg, 510,- 000 acres; Prince Lichtenstein, 450,- 000, aud Archduke Albert. 305,000. . REMARKABLE BONE CRAFTING. Transplanting u Lone Five Inches Long From a Sheep to a Man's Leg, A bone five inches long, taken from the leg of a sheep, has been grafted successfully to the tibia (large bone of the leg) of a human being by Dr. De Witt G. Wilcox, Surgeon-in-Charge at the Lexington Heights Hospital, Buf falo, N. Y. There is no record in medical literature of a similar opera tion of such magnitude. F. H. Moir, twenty-four years old, was injured January 1 by the explo sion of a gas-drum. The tibia was badly shattered. Ordinary methods of healing failed, and then Dr. Wilcox endeavored to save the limb. The patient was placed under chloroform, and the two ends of the bone were cut off sufficiently distant from the injured area to insure healthy bone. This distance amounted to five inches. The soft parts around the seat of injury were well cleaned out and put in a healthy condition. While this work was being done another operation was being conducted in an adjoining room. Here a healthy live sheep, one year old, was chloro formed, a section of bone removed from its hind leg, thoroughly cleansed and made to fit into the interval just created in the man's leg. This was sprung in with snflicient pressure to insure it keeping its place perfectly. The cavity was again well cleansed and the skin sewed up closely. The entire leg from the toes to the hip was placed in a plaster-of-paris cast. The progress of the patient since the oper ation has been most favorable. When the bone was grafted in there was allowed to formed a clot of blood completely enveloping this graft. Under favorable conditions such a clot, with a bone for a basis, or, in other words, to feed upon, will in the course of time become bone itself. It first organizes into fibrous tissue, then gradually becomes bony. There is every evidence that this clot is thus hardening from the fact that iu passing the finger over the surface of the leg there cannot be felt any marked depression between the ends of the natural bone. Were this clot not hardened a "soft interval" would be quite distinct. The repair between the ends of the bone is, therefore, due quite a.s much to the "blood-clot" formation as to graft; but the graft must make the frame upon which this clot can form, and this clot must also be fed with bone cells from the ends of the healthy bone and its coverings. It will be some weeks before the pa tient will be allowed to use his leg for walking, but there is every evidence that the operation will prove a suc cess. —New York World. Smoke unil Health. Fogs are said to have a very bene ficial effect on the health of districts where they are prevalent, as they are great purifiers of the atmosphere, and even the sulphur which makes the London fog so pungent and irritating is credited with effecting quite an ap preciable limitation ot prevalent in fectious diseases. Professor Maur is now of the opinion that smoke may be turned into a hygienic ally, and, under some circumstances, be made capable of preserving the public health to a de gree little imagined. The dust col lected from the smoke of some Liege furnaces, burning coal raised from the neighboring mines, produces, when dissolved in hydrochloric acid, a so lution from which considerable quan tities of arsenic and several other me tallic salts may be precipitated. It is now suspected that this breathing of arsenic and other minerals in a finely divided state may account for the singular immunity from epidemics en joyed by certain industrial districts, such as that of St. Etienne, and medi cal authorities in those regions and elsewhere are asked to throw upon the subject what light they can. It is suggested that the ventilating effect of the numerous chimneys in iron mak ing and other industrial centers has its due share in constantly driving off the vitiated air and replacing it by fresh quantities of pure air. It was noted that when pestilence was raging in the English town of Clifton, an ele vated and apparently salubrious resi dential district, its inhabitants mi grated to a low-lying and murky parish in the adjacent town of Bristol, where the air was black from the smoke of numerous chimneys, while the mor tality was lower than that of the fash ionable quarter overlooking it.—St. Louie Globe-Democrat. The Lesson "Went Home. Little Anita was an exceptionally good girl when under the direct sur veillance of her parents; hut once out of their sight she broke loose and played all kinds of pranks. This was a source of much concern to her par ents, and her father, desiring to cor rect the habit, impressed upon her mind that when she was out of huinnn sight all her acts were still observed by God. The moral lesson seemed to affect her, and shortly afterward, as she was leaving the house alone, the old dog Fido attempted to follow her. This annoyed little Anita very much, and, turning pettishly around, she said to the devoted animal: "Fido, you do homo at once; it is bad enough to have Dod following me everywhere, without having you following me, too." •> Electrocntlnc AVhsles. A Canadian sea captain has invented an appnratns with which he thinks whales con be killed by electric shock. A harpoon is fixed at the end of a long metallic cable, properly insulated, and which serves in place of the usual rope. Through this cable on electric current of 10,000 volts is to bo sent by means of a dynamo carried in the whale boat. The inventor believes that no whale would be able to with stand the shock it would receive the instant the harpoon entered its side. OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR. LAUCHTER-PROVOKINC STORIES FOR LOVERS OF FUN. All's Fair in War—Evanion—Danger of Delay— Safe—No Kecarder of Persons— The Cornerstone Surprised Bargain Day in Stamps Far From It, Etc. A bicycle corps. With weapons galore, All strapped to the broad, slanting backs, Charged after the foe With a whoop and hallo- But the road had been sprinkled with taeksl —Chicago ltecord. Evasion. Miss Rivalle—"Now, Mr. Jones, I'm sure you think Miss Minks pretty." The Astute Jones—"Yes; she is pretty tall."—Pick-Me-Up. Danger of Delay. "Oh, doctor, you have been so very long in coming that my pain Las left me." "I am exceedingly sorry, but I as sure you it shall not occur again."— Judy. No Regarder of Persons. "George, I fear you are marrying me just because my uncle left me a fortune." "No, my precious. I'd marry you just the same if atiy other person had left it to you."—Tit-Bits. Safe. "Umpire, why didn't yon dodge when that pitcher struck at your head with his bat?" "Dodge? Haven't I been watching him play ball all season? He can't hit anything."—Detroit Free Press. City Nephew—"l have very little money in the bank, but I have a good deal tied up"— Uncle Josh "Land sakes! I thought you city folks was all past keepin' yer money in stockin's."— Puck. The Cornerstone. Mrs. Bumpus—"l see in the papers that Millionaire Van Dough only laid the cornerstone of his fortune a few years ago." Bumpus—"Ah, mebbe he was one of the fellers that sold me that gold brick then." —Pittsburg News. Kiirgaln Dny in Stamps. "Can't I get these two-cent stamps cheaper if I take a quantity?" asked Mrs. Chestnut of the stamp clerk at the Philadelphia postoffice. "I can let you have a dozen for a quarter," replied the clerk. "Very well, I'll take them."—Har lem Life. Far From It. Mr. Citimau—"l don't see how yoti can spend the best years of your life in a place like this." Mr. Subbubs—"Hang it all, manf I am not spending the best years of my life here. The years I have spent here have been the very worst years of my life."—Puck. Athletic Diet. "I know a man who lives on base balls." "What do you mean?" "Well, he begged a qnarter of me, said he hadn't bad a square meal for a week, and when I got out to the game he had a better seat than I had."— Detroit Free Press. Not Much Luck. "Are the fish biting well to-day?" asked a man of a boy who was fishing in a brook not far from Boston. "The fish do not bite, sir," replied the boy, respectfully. "They swallow the bait, and the hook embeds itself in their mouth. But they are \iry wary to-day, sir."—Puck. Not to be Expected. Salesman—"lf the goods are not just as represented, we will cheerfully refund your moufiy." Rural Customer—"Don't tell me secli yarns as that, young man! Ye might gimme me money back, but't ain't human natur fer ye to be cheer ful about doin' it."—Puck. Interesting. "I find the American farmer so in teresting," twittered the poetess. "I manage to extract a good deal of interest out of him myself," was the answer of the short, elderly, donble cliinned gentleman, who, as it after ward developed, was in the mortgage business.—Cincinnati Enquirer. Changing the Figure. Van Arndt—"See those two girls over there? Not much difl'erenco in their figures, eh?" Fenilworth—"Not the slightest. I'd call thorn both gawky, long and angular." Van Arndt—"Yes; hut the one in blue is heiress to millions—so she's always referred to as being 'svelte.'" —Puck. A Modern Munchausen. "Any quail about this neighbor hood?" inquired a tourist, who was about to register at a Western Texas hotel. "Quail!" said the proprietor, with an indulgent smile; "they've got to be a nuisance. The cook complains that she can't throw a piece of toast out of the back window but four or five fat quail fight to see which one shall get it."—Texas Sittings. Over-Cautious. "I wish," said the clarinet player thoughtfully, "that they'd leave out one of the numbers in this pro gramme." "What for?" inquired the leader. "You see, the gentleman in charge of this occasion doesn't know very much about music. That selection requires me to rest for thirty-two measures, and I'm afraid he'll think I'm not earning my salary."—Wash ington Star.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers