Dancing masters agreo that the hi- ' cycle has dealt a cruel blow to their art. Living iu nearly forty per cent, cbeuper in London than in New York City. - - I The Dallas News Rays: One county ; in Texas will produce this year more corn than Jacob's agents found in all Egypt - __________ Sociologists have been paying an unusual amount of attention of late to the questions of prison reform, re duction of the criminal class'es aud the like. A correspondent who evidently is worrying about a gift wauts to know what we consider best for a wedding. We can't recall anything more appro priate than a girl from this locality for such a function. Figures just compiled by the Sta tistical Society give the amount of money in the savings banks aud sim ilar institutions of the world as $7,- 000,000,000. The United Kingdom has 51,235,000,000 laid away in small savings. Archbishop Corrigan, of New York, 1 presides over the greatest Catholic see In Christendom, comprising the city aud county of New York, the counties of Westchester, Putnam, Dutchess, Ulster, Sullivan, Orange, Rockland and Richmond, and also the Rahama Islands. The Catholic population of this archdiocese was estimated a few years ago at 800,000. Some great scientists have had the Indelicacy to go prying into the ques tion of the uge of the earth. A few weeks ago we told what one conclusion was in this regard. Lord Kelvin, the great Scotch astronomer and mathe matician, in an address in Loudon, said he was able to declare with confi dence that the earth solidified between 20,000,000 and 30,000,000 years ago. , The latest estimate of the time re- 1 quired for the formation of all strata since the beginning of the Cambrian rocks is 17,000,000 years. Lord Kel" j via asserted that the earth could not have been habitable more than 30,- 000,000 years at the most. The reasons advanced by the Eng lish for continuing to occupy Egypt are resented iu a curious fashion by the papers of Cairo. The British as- 1 Bert that the great prevalence of crime and violence renders necessary the in terposition of a foreign power to keep the peace. Iu order to answer this the Cairo papers publish eacli morn ing reports, taken from the London papers, of crime in Eugland, aud print long editorials full of statistics show ing that an Egyptian army ought to take possession of Great Britain and maintain the order which the reports they quote seem to indicate the British are unable to preserve themselves. The New England Homestead says: The biggest speculation since foe palmy days of the Argentine boom were the dizzy transactions at Loudon last year in Kaffir shares of gold mines in the Transvaal region of South Af rica. The bottom has gradually dropped out until to-day forty leading stocks, which one year ago represent ed a "value" of $000,000,000, are sell ing on the basis of one-third that sum. Here is a decline of more than two thirds in less than one year. And this after the London market had been sorely bitten by Argentine, Panama and previous wild speculations. We have been taught to regard Loudon as the center of financial conservatism, but of late years it has been the scene of some of the wildest speculations on record. This Kaffir bubble may even I be compared to the notorious schemes : of Law which almost ruined the French people about a century ago. The Nashville Banner says: "A! the Tennessee Centennial Exposition are exhibited the old cabin birth place of two famous American citizens. These cabins are genuine, as certified by affidavits in the possession of the owner and exhibitor. The liev. W. G. Bigham, a Methodist minister, while traveling a circuit which embraced parts of Todd aud Hardin Counties, Kentucky, bought the two log cabins and the land 011 which they stood. One of the cabius was built by 'Tom' Lincoln, and in it he lived with his wife, Nancy Hunks. 111 this cabin, without a floor, 'Abe' Lincoln was born in the year 1809. Every big, ex cept a few which did not withstand the ravages of time utid the weather, is preserved. The other cabin is one in which the President of the late Con federacy was born. It came from near Fairview, Todd County, Kentucky. Mr. Davis was born there in 1808, and when sixty-six years old was given a banquet by old citizens of Fairview iu the very tncpie cabin." Oi-iitartl I*rcparation. A correspondent of the Toronto Globe thinks too little attention is paid to the preparation of the land before planting orchards. Once, tftie fruit could be grown without it, because we had virgin soil. Now, long cropping with different farm crops has exhausted the food required by the trees and left the soil hard and baked. Three to five years, the writer thinks, is none too long to give such soil proper prepara tion. He is now treating fifteen acres in the following manner: The first year, after good tillage, he sows wheat in the fall, seeding with clover next spring. It takes the second year to get the clover established. Third year clover is plowed under, using a heavy logging chain. Then the soil is thor oughly cultivated to assist decompo sition by storing moisture, continu ing till early fall, when the piece is furrowed out and ditched, no water being allowed to lie 011 it. Next spring clover is again sowed, allowed to be come established, plowed under in the fifth year and land cultivated. In the spring of the sixth year the land is j cultivated and trees are set. While , there is an apparent loss of time and : labor by this method, it will be more than made up by the quality and quant ity of apples grown in soil so prepared, as compared with fruit produced on , thnt prepared in the ordinary way. The Melon Louse. The New Jersey station in a recent bulletin on the melon louse, which attacks plants of melous, squash, cucumbers, etc., says that they make : their first appearance in New Jersey in June, but appear earlier south and later north of that latitude. They are also sap suckers and feed oil the under side of the leaves, causing the leaves to wrinkle and curl, then dry up and die. They multiply and spread with astonishing rapidity. Like the harlequin cabbage bug, they spend the the winter in sheltering rubbish. A favorite winter place is a thick weed patch 011 the roadside or iu fence corners. Rake all such places, piling the rubbish in full and burn it during the winter. This louse cannot be reached by spays. The only effective remedy is bi-sulphide of carbon upplied us fol lows: Lay one barrel hoop on the ground, cut another into halves, cross these halves in the .middle and tack the ends to the first hoop. Paste tough paper over this dome shaped fi ame, or tack cheap cloth over it aud oil same to preserve it. Gather the I vines of a hill in a bunch and cover with the dome, pressing the bottom hoop into the soil a half inch. Before doing so, pour a teaspoonful of the carbon bi-sulphide into a clam shell or other shallow receptacle and set this on a part of the vine stiff enough to hold it up, or 011 a large clot of earth, or a small mound. The liquid soon evaporates, and as the vapor is heavier than the air, it sinks, and would es | cape under the hoops, if the latter were not pressed into the soil. 111 uu hour remove the cover and every louhg will be dead. As soon as a curled leaf iis noticed, treat that hill, and watch daily for others. A few days of watch fulness and care will catch them all. Fifty covers will be enough for a large field, and they can be put away in nests as a merchant keeps hats, for the winter and will thus occupy very little room aud will last several years. They are also handy to protect the earliest hill of vegetables from late spring frosts. Do not use too much liquid, or the plants may be injured. A teaspoonful to the hill is sufficient. On a small patch of vines, these lice may be destroyed by wiping off every affected leaf with a sponge dipped in , soap suds. Weeding Out Cows. Some time ago I was asked by a dairyman who bad just bought a milk tester what per cent, of butter-fat a cow should show to justify her being retained in the herd. First of all, it must not be forgotten that the per I cent, of butter-fat in milk is only half the problem, the other half being the amount of milk to which the per cent. ,of fat is applicable. For instance, twenty pounds of five per cent, milk is not so available as thirty pounds of four per cent. milk. In other words, quantity must be considered as well as quality; aud, further, regard must be had to the habit of the cow in the mat ; ter of keeping up the milk How. Many cows that never exceed a daily yield of thirty pounds will finish a ten or : eleven months' milking period with I more milk to their credit than some other cows that yield a much larger amount when fresh. An average of twenty pounds per day for 300 days amounts to 0000 pounds, and if the average test should be, say, five per cent., the total fat would 1 ♦- 800 pounds, which is equivalent to 350* 1 pounds of butter. Reduce the total yield of milk to 5000 pounds, and, al lowing the same average quality, the butter equivalent would be about 290 pounds. From this we see that every cow should be judged rather by the total fat produced than by any arbitrary standard of quality. A short time ago one of the experiment stations carried out a year's trial with their herds to ascertain, if possible, which of the cows were the best and which of them were actually returning a profit on 1 their cost and food. Kach cow's milk j was weighed twice a day for the year. what she ate was charged to her at market prices, and the manure was credited to her. The result was that about one-third of the cows were pro fitable, one-third just paid their way, and the remainder were in debt all the time. If this is true of this herd, selected with skill, managed and fed in the most approved manner, what is the state of affairs with the ordinary dairy, which produces the bulk of its milk in the summer months, when butter is at its lowest, and has to he supplied with comparatively high priced foods in the winter? Every one knows that lie has cows that give twice and even three times as much milk as others, and yet consume no more food. Although it is very easy to say that all these inferior cows should be sent to the butcher at once, i it is in practice another thing to do it. Of course, the poorer ones can go, and should, but what of the average cow? Herds can be slowly improved, but the fair cows are more common than the good ones. A cow that will in the year yield 0000 pounds of milk is what should be an averuge, hut the average cow that does this is far from being a fact, and, with all the preaching and | teaching of the last ten or twenty i years, we suspect thut the cows are still classed as at the experiment station just mentioned.—O. G. Freer- Thonger, in Farm and Home (Lon don). Farm and Harden Notes. If your hens lay double-yoked eggs i it is an indication that they are too fat; in a better condition for roasting than laying. Don't waste the droppings from the hen roost. Poultry manure is worth at least fifty per cent, of the cost of the poultry feed used. The young calves will do better, be sides be more comfortable, if provided j with shade. If no trees are in the pusture u good, cheap shade may be made with a few posts, some poles and straw. Hee that the calves have shade. Lettuce is good for growing chicks, , and the common garden beet is an ex cellent winter poultry food. Grow some this summer for next winter, and also a few dozen heads of cabbage which are most valuable when other green food is scarce. When the weather is warm a good deal may be done towards getting the milk to the factory in good shape if the cans in the wagon are covered with heavy blankets or a canvas wet in cold water. If the drive is long they may be wet once or twice during the jour ney. If farmers were disposed to make the most of the circumstances they certainly have it in their hands to put upon their farms for future use a class of horses which will meet the demands of modern day methods. The present lull in horse breeding operations is con ducive to the general extermination of the scrub. One of the strongest pleas for organi zation 011 the part of farmers is found in the success with which other organi zations have at times heen able to prey upon those so-called "independent" farmers who were going it lone-handed. However, it is possible for farmers to work together in many ways without going into partnership or organizing secret societies. Heaves may bo described as a chronic disease of the breathing organs, with out inflammation, characterized by a peculiar breathing, the breath being drawn in with ease, but breuthed out with difficulty, and by two distinct efforts. The immediate cause is the rupture or debility of the small cells in the lungs, so the animal cannot expel the air he lias drawn in without an extra and double effort. A Gamecock Fight* II In Image. One of the gainest gamecocks in St. Louis, Mo., gave a chance audience a rare treat. He fought his image to a finish. By chance a mirror had been left in the back yard at the corner of Jefferson avenue and Pine street. The cock was strutting about the yard looking for trouble when suddenly he came face to face with his image in the glass. His fighting blood was up. At last he had met a bird that he con sidered worthy of his prowess. Ho eyed the supposed enemy critically. His anger grew as the image mocked him. The feathers began to rise 011 his neck and in another instant he made a lunge at the glass. Picking himself up from the ground, where he had been doubled in a heap, he backed off a few paces. The cowardly image also backed away and mocked him. He made lunge after lunge at the glass, each time backing away thor oughly surprised. Finally ho got tired of retreating and began a fierce • face to face contest with himself, He fought until he fell from sheer exhaus tion.—New York World. A Four-Footed Flre-Flghter, H. H. Burns, of Travevse City, Mich., litis 11 ilok thnt lias established a reoord as a fireman. On two occasions it lias extinguished fires that would have destroyed the houses hut for the dog's efforts. It puts out 1 the Are by rolling on it. Once it lost 1 most, of its hair before the flames were subdued. The dog is a hand some cotter spaniel nnil is very popn lar in Traverse City, where its ex ploits are well known, * HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS. Sour Milk In Cooking;. When sour milk is to be used in cooking, a few vigorous whisks with the egg-beater in the bowl or pitcher will mix the curd and whey so thor oughly that it can be poured as easily HH cream and will obviate the unpleas antness of iitiding cake or buffins in terspersed with particles of curd. Soda used with sour milk should not be put into milk, but be sifted into the flour like baking powder. Ciood Way to Keep Butter. If you have no ice box, a fairly good way to keep butter is as follows: Put the butter in a porcelain bowl, and set this howl in a soup dish which is tilled to brimming with cold water. Turn over this so that it will sit on the edge of the soup plate in the water a large cheap unglazed flower pot, which has been dipped in water. Lay over the top of it a folded wet cloth. The con stant evaporation of water oozing through its pores will keep the butter several degrees cooler than the outside temperature. The flower pot must be kept wet all the time. x A Flcnlo Drink. There is nothing better to take to a picnic to drink than cold tea, which has been steeped five or six minutes— tea is one of the things which can be i satisfactorily steeped "to taste"—then poured off the grounds into a bottle, j and when cool tightly corked, it I should not be strong. Taken without milk or sugar, it is very refreshing. An old woolen stocking leg, if such a thing can be found, or a piece of flan nel sewed up to fit the bottle, is valu able to cool the tea, if there is auy water in the vicinity of the picnic j grTttrud. Dip the bottle with its wool covering in the water, hang it on a tree, or even standing on the ground ; will do, and as the water on the out side evaporates the contents of the I bottle will cool.—New York Times. Sick ltooui Hint*. For cramps or pains in the stomach try a few drops of essence of camphor. For a nervous headache a cup of moderately strong tea, in which two or three slices of lemon have been in fused. For tired feet put a handful of com mon salt into four quarts of hot water. Place the feet iu the water while it is j hot as it can he borne. Then rub the ! feet dry with a rough towel. For making a clear complexion stir two teaspoonfuls of flowers of sulphur ' into half a pint of new milk. Let it ! stand awhile, and then rub the face over with it a short time before wash ing. For binding up cuts and wounds always use linen, not cotton, as the I fibres of cotton are flat and apt to irri tate a sore place, while those of linen are perfectly round. To Make a Hood Cup of Tea. Have good tea to begin with ; then be sure that you have freshly drawn pure and filtered water of which to make the beverage. The water must not have beeu standing for hours ex posed to the weather nor simmering on the range. It must be fresh, and then, if you have a brisk fire or the hot flume of a spirit lamp, bring it quickly to the boil. A flat bottomed kettle is to be preferred, as it has a broad sur face to expose to the heat, and the boil ing is soon accomplished. Water is boiling when it huhhles and the steam comes iu white puffs from the spout of the kettle. It does not boil when it begins to simmer and sing—that is only the sign that it is near to boiling. You must make your tea when the water has just boiled. A kettle which lias been standing on the back of a stove all day, filled up now and then by a dipper or two more of water, will not make good tea. You must boil the water on purpose. An earthen pot is better for tea than a metal one. Pour a little boiling water in the pot to heat it, and after a minute or two pour it out. Now putu teuspoonful of tea for every cup of hot water —an even, not a heaping, spoon ful—and add an extra one for the pot. Pour on as much water as will fill the number of cups you wish to make. Let it stand two minute, then with u long-handled Npoon stir the leaves once through the water aud instantly j cover the pot again. Three minutes more and your tea is done. Never let tea steep or boil or stand a long time. It is a quick, neat, nice process from beginning to end.—New York Journal. lieclpeti. Pineapple Fritters—Half a cup of Hour, half a cup of milk aud two eggs. _' eat together the flour, half the milk and the yolks, seasoned with half a sultspoonful of salt. Add gradually the balance of the milk. Stir in a tea cupful of finely chopped pineapple, and lastly the whites of the eggs beaten stiff. Drop by spoonfuls on a hot but tered griddle. Cook till a delicate brown on both sides. Egg Puffs—Take one egg for each person to he served. Separate the whites from the yolks, keeping the yolks whole. Add a saltspoonful of salt aud a dash of pepper to the yolks. Add a pinch of salt to the whites and heat stiff". Drop in teaspoonfuls pij hot buttered griddle, and lay a yolk on fop of each spoonful. Cover each with another teuspoonful of white, Turq quickly to brown the other side. They will be almost balls. Banana Cake—Put in a saucepan four tablespoonfuls of sugar, two ol lemon juice, six tablespoonfuls of orange juice, and place over the fire. Peel and slice thin six bananas and add to the liquid; cook five minutes. Make u sponge or cup cake, and hake in a biscuit tin. When the cake is partly cooled split it, and spread one half of the bananas over the lower part; place the top of the cake on the fruit, aud put the remaining bananas over the top. This is very nice and should be eaten warm, ; .FIELDS OF ADVENTURE. THRILLINC INCIDENTS AND DARINC DEEDS ON LAND AND SEA. Mlrttak of Some Koud Agent H Who llndur look to Kob a Sheriff— Kxtraordlnarv HeroUnt of a Young American Naval Officer A Dog Snveu HIM Mutter. j "One of the biggest and most satis j factory surprises ever rung in on a stage load of passengers," said a young j commercial traveler in the New York Sun, "occurred when I was traveling in Colorado almost twenty years ago. There had been a great many hold-ups on the stage line then recently started between Pueblo and Leadville, so, as I was making my second trip over tbe route, tbe passengers were less aston ished tlmu they might have been when, at. about 10 o'clock of a moonlight night, the driver pulled the horses up short at a sharp command from some one by the roadside ahead, and a face masked with a red handkerchief ap peared at the window. A pair of j cocked revolvers emphasized the words: " 'Hands up. (let out, every one, and be lively.' "There was nothing to do but get out, aud one by one men and women alighted aud, nine in number, all hold ing their hands above their heads, were silently ranged into line along the trail by two masked men, each holding iu his hands a pair of re volvers. A third robber, near the horses' heads, kept the driver covered with a pistol. " 'Keep perfectly quiet," said one of the robbers, 'and nobody'll be hurt.' "Then, while one man stood guard over the passengers with his pistols, the other searched the passengers, one j by one, relieving them deftly of watches, purses, pocketbooks, jewelry, weapons—all of which he dropped in to a flour sack that he carried. I stood seventh in the line, and next me was a man whom I had picked up an acquaintance with on the trip. He looked to be about, thirty years of age, and was very quiet of manner. He was rather reserved in talking at first, but us this wore off proved a pleasing and interesting traveling companion. From his dress and evideut knowledge of the countay, I had taken him to be a ranchman or small mine owner. He had thrown hands up at the word, and came out of the stage with the rest of I us, and seemed to he taking the hold |up very coolly—so much so that asns | picion crossed my mind that he might he a confederate of the robbers. "The man who was searching the passengers had thrust his revolvers I into the scabbards at his hips, so us to j leave his hands free. He had come to me, and, feeling for Avenpons iu my liip pockets, had stooped forward a ' little. I was following orders in keep -1 iig my head Avell up, and so oouhl not see just how it happened. But I saw the robber start backward, make a j movement with his right hand toward his pistol oil that side, just as a re volver shot crashed directly iu front of me, nud the robber Avent down on his back. Before lie struck the ground the revolver cracked twice again, aud the robber who was covering the crowd with his pistols dropped them, spun | half around and fell on liis face. As the robber bad stooped to search luy , hip pockets the man beside me bad ! snatched one of his revolvers from its ' soalibard and shot him dead with his j own pistol, then killed tlio other roli j her before the latter could lire a shot. I "Before I could fairly realize ivliat was taking place my fellow-passenger - sprang toward the man at the horses' j heads. They exchanged shots, and then the robber turned and dashed in to the darkness among the trees and rocks, the passenger following him. The Hashes and cracking of three or four pistol shots came to us out of the darkness, aud then the passenger re j turned Avith an empty pistol. He had had a running tight with the robber ; and AVUS himself unhurt. Whether any ;of his shots had landed he could not tell. He made a torch of pinion pine and examined the two dead robbers, ! taking from their bodies whatever i might serve to identify them, keeping each man's things carefully separate. He also asked the rest of lis to look to see if anyone recognized either of the robbers. The valuables iu the flour sack he took charge of until we got to the next Btage station, where each owner claimed his property. . I "The bnsiness-like Avay in which he acted throughout the whole affair was explained Avhen Ave learned that onr ! quiet felloAv-passenger Avas Jim Has- I kell, the resolute dead-shot sheriff of j one of the southern Colorado counties, j traveling on affairs of liis OAVU. The j two dead robbers were found where ive had left them, and were identified as tough Leadville characters who had gone out on* the road to raise a stake, j Their death gave a setback to the I road-agent business for a Avliile, but it soon picked up again anil flourished, | with its tips and downs, until the rail road up the Grand Canon took the | place of the stage line." j Heroism of an American Naval OHloer, j It is told of a Roman sailor that in j trying to climb from u small boat into a ship he and his companions were struggling to board anil capture, lie was clinging to the ship Avith his right hand, when it was cut off, He caught hold again with his left, and that tvaa cut off, but not till he had driven his head up to the deck of the boat, and, with both hands gone, he still clung on with his chin aud elbow, aud itAvns not till his bend was struck oft' that he fell hack into the Avater. That was old Koinau lighting w itli a vengeance, but iu the annals of our own navy there is a true story of still greater pluck, for our hero iiHed his head, and saved others in the midst of his own awful sufferings. Lieutenant Edwarc| Smith, in IMUO, was in command of a aohooner called the Magpie, and it was tvieeked in water(i /nil of sharks, anil the Lieu tenant) ami six of his men escaped drowning by clinging to a capsized boat. The Lieutenant was the young est of them all, except a lad named Wilson, but he was also the coolest and cleverest, as a commanding officer ought to be. He ordered the men to get oft' the boat and endeavor to right it. They obeyed, all the time they were in the water waving and kicking to scare oft" the sharks they could see swimming about. Lieuteuunt Smith then ordered two of his men into the boat to bail, while the rest clung to her sides. With so much water in her she could not bear up more than two men. Soon, though, so much water was bailed out that he ordered two more men into the boat, and the bailing was going on fast when one of the two men beside himself who were still in the water was seized by a shark, and with one cry sank. This so frightened the men that, horrible to tell, they once more capsized the boat, and when that was done put two men in it again to bail. As they got to work, a shark, with one bite, took off one of Lieutenant Smith's legs, and he, the more than stoio hero, made no sign, lest fright again cause his men to capsize the boat. They did not know he was hurt. In a moment or two the rest were ordered into the boat, he waiting to enter it last himself. Just as he was ready to ask the men to help him a shark caught his remaining leg. He fell back in the water, but his men saved liiin, and lifted him into the boat to die. With his last breath he told the liov Wilson to report to the Admiral that all the men had done their duty. A Una Saves His Helpless Waster. Tige is ouly a dog, and a "yaller dog" at that, but his mixed breed has given him a shaggy coat and a bushy tail, and nature has given him a deal more sense than the man who owns him stands possessed of, says the Tem ple (Texas) correspondent of the Philadelphia Times. Tige's master is a rancher, so-called, who lives 011 a rocky little place south of here, and who yesterday came to town bringing a bale of cotton on his ricketty wagon. After disposing of the cotton the good-for-nothing fellow straightway proceeded to drink up the proceeds, and before the day was far spent he and his money w ere pretty far gone. Toward evening he climbed into the wagon, perhaps with an idea of going home, as he unhitched his shaggy ponies from the post in front of the grocery where they had been standing all day without a bite of food or a drink of water, and only Tige curled up under the wagon to keep them company. But, having gotten into the wagon the man was overcome by a "jag," and fell down on the floor and went to sleep. Meantime the poor, starved ponies began grazing about, picking a wisp of green here and there, till present ly they got out on the edge of the town and had climbed up the three foot of railroad embankment, dragging the wagon after them and nipping the grass between the cross-ties. In the midst of this state of things tile north bound train came around the curve, bearing straight down upon the wagon, the engineer blew his whistle, but the man in the wagon was too far gone to hear. A Mexican tniuale vendor some distance oft' saw the danger and rau down tile embankment whistling to the horses, Imt they were to hungry to heed so slight a warning. But there was Tige, the dog, the ponies' faithful friend. Kealiziug the danger on the instant, Tige liouuded up the embankment and began balk ing and biting at the horses' heels with such persistence that they in turn set to kicking and backing down upon him, all the time getting further anil further out of harm's way, till, just as the train sped by, they had gotten themselves anil their sleeping master out of the path of its destruc tion. A Man's tight Wltli Hats. One of the most unique and thrilling adventures yet recorded comes from Sandusky, Ohio. The story told in brief is us follows: "Frank Rubruska, a f Polander, who makes a living by hunting, trapping and fishing in the Crane Creek Territory and lives alone in a hut on the edge of a big marsh, was awakened the other night by a stinging sensation in his right cheek, and raising his hand to his face grasped what proved to bp a rat, which had bit ten liim in the cheek, and which, when lie seized it, Instantly bit him in three places on the hand. Rubruska raised up in bed and hurled the rat so vio lently against the wall that he killed it, and as he was about to spring from the bed he felt sharp twinges of pain from bites in his back, neck and shoulder, and felt a swarm of rats run ning over him and heard some of them jump upon the floor and scamper away. He felt oue of them clinging to hia neck and threw up his haud to knock the animal off, and as he did so the rat caught his index finger and bit it to the bone, uud then leaped to the floor. Rubruska sprang from the bed and in doing so ho stepped upon ft rpt, which bit him severely in the foot Uiul linng 011 until he kicked the ani mal loose, In the meantime rats were heard sourrying about the room, and one of them seized Rubruska by the ankle, Rubruska struck a light,seized his shotgun, and fired at a pair of gleaming eyes in one corner of the room. The report of the gun frightened away all the rats except the one (ft whioh he shot and which waa killed, Rubruska dressed his wounds as hest he could and sat up until morning and at daylight went to secure the servioea of a surgeon." A cap ol boiling lard was on the W'A stove, and Miss Stella Evans, of Colorado Springs, pnt an egg in it to boil, In an instant the egg exploded, and the lady was spattered with Hying Ufrfi. —, - • -- - THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Clever Lad—Literal—No Scope—Had Been There—Non-Suited—Hli Seven teenth QueHtlon—A Itrnwlmek—Better Than He .Expected Still Funny, Etc. The boy stood on the burning d 4 ck Till all but him had fled, And then he put the Are out. And went and cruised ahead. And when he'd had enough of that He sailed Into the slip, . And got a thousand dollars down As salvage on the ship. —Harper's Bazar. Literal. ' The Resoner—"How did your come to fall .in?" The Rescued—"l didn't come to fall in, Ivcame to lish."—Harper's Week iy. HistSeveiiteeiith Question, j Little Clarence—"Pa?" , Mr. Callipers—"Well, my son?" Little:Clarence—"ls postage-stamp collecting a profession or a disease?" Prick. Has Been There. The Tramp— 4 'Can you tell me how I can get some work, sir?" The Citizen (crustily)—" Yes; buy a bicycle, and try to keep it clean!"— Yonkers *Htnt eHinan. Non-Suited. Brown—"Did you ever try that tailor I recommended to you?" Green—"Yes. Too expensive. Got two snits from him—one dress suit, one law suit!"— Punch. No Scope. "I bought little Tommy a trumpet because he was so lonely, but he did uot seem pleased." "Well, no; you see his old grand mother is stone deaf."—Pick-Me-Up. The Brute. Mrs. Hoon— 4 'Why do you persist in referring to the folding-bed as 4 he?' Why isn't it just as appropriate to call it 'she' as it is a ship?" Old Hoon— 4 'Because it,shuts up oc casionally. " —Judge. A Drnwliack. He—"l'd willingly go 1 round the world for your sake." She—"l wouldn't likeithat." "Why not?" "In that case you'd come back to where you started from." Hotels Rates. Hewitt—"l had a nightmare the last time I was at that hotel." Jewett—"What of it 1 ?" Hewitt—"l foolishly ,mentioned it to the clerk the next motrning and he charged me for the use <xf one liorse." Simpletons Advantage. "The rooms are rather small," said the prospective boarder. "The advantage of that," said the hotel-keeper complacently, "is that not so much fresh air is required to keep them cool."—Philadelphia North- American. Not Lost. Tinveler(to the driver 'on fording the river) —"Has anyone over been lost in this stream?" Driver—"No, sir!" Sam Mason waa drowned here last spring, but they found him agniuafter looking,for tw" weeks. "—Judge. Better Than Ho Hxpertod. "The question iB." said the Thrkish Minister, "how muchlindeainity Greece will pay." "Is that it?"'asked Abdul Hamid, cheerfully. "I thought the question was how much indemnity Greece would owe."—Puck. Still Funny. Mr. Twynn—"The rumanlee of Mo- Bride's honeymoon lingers still, al though he has been, married five years." Mr. Triplett—"How'ilo you know?" Mr. Twynn—"He jokes with L hia wife about her millinery bills." Personally In tore uteri. Weary—"Dis arber-day tree-plant in' is gittin' ter be,a great't'ing." Raggles—"Yespan" I'miopposed ter it, too." Weary—"W'y?" Raggles—"W'y? Jes'' t'nk uv de snap we 'ml hev gittin' meals ef wood wuz too skeerce ter be used ez fuel." —Jndge. , The Ruling Pas.lon, • _ The > fine will be three dollars and' costs," announced the Police Magis trate. "I'm willing to make it ten dollars and costs, 'Squire," said the scorcher, "if you'll have it entered on the printed record that I was going twen ty miles an honr and my machine was a Greased Lightning, geared to eighty four."—Chicago Tribune. At the Prison. _ / Fair Visitor —"Poor ffellow! And what brought you here?" Mike (the slugger)—"lt wuz all be cuz of dat unlucky number t'irteen, miss." , Fair Visitor —"Indeed? Do tell me how!" Mike (the sluggov)—"Well, you see. miss, dere wuz de jury, twelve, an' de jedge made t'irteen."—Jndge. Pickerel Swallowed by Snake. /O, W. Piatt, who is employed a salesman at E. S. Hunt's furniture store, at Essex, Conn., while out for a stroll near fiat rock at the factory pond saw a large water snake come out of the water and orawl upon a rook on the bank. Mr. Piatt' kill Jd the snako with a blow from a stiok. OR looking olosely ho saw a fish in the snake'B mouth. He pulled it out and it proved to be a good-sized pickerel, wbioh come to life when he put it in the water. The snake was over five feet long, . -r -—-
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers