Nebraska Populist papers want de partment stores abolished. Paris florists are already setting out plants so they may sell flowers from the grave of Lafayotte to patriotic Americans during the exposition of 1900. Says tho Montgomery (Ala.) Ad vertiser: In the last twenty years tho Southern States have expendod SBO,- 000,000 for colored schools. Nearly every dollar was furnished by the white people. A writer on beauty says that to ob tain a perfect ideal of the female foim divine one should study Greek models for the head, English for the complex lon, Irish for tho hands, American for finger-nails, Hindostanee for the feet j and Spanish for the carriage. The notiou that tho inhabitants of the South Sea islands are everywhere dying out is not borne out in Nauru, I where tho German residents made a census of the natives on September 3, 1890, and found 1317, while in 1893 I the number had iuoreased to 1377. The State of Massachusetts has alone and unaided fought the gypsy moth, nnd has thus far prevented it from spreading beyond its limits. It has within the past four years expended $450,000, with the result of keeping the pest from spreading aud eradicat ing it in a few localities. Ontario farm lands have taken a big drop in value during the past twelve years. Tho total value in 1883 was pieced at $654,793,000; in 1895 the valuation was reduced to $572,938,000. The bringing of now wheat districts into competition with the Ontario fields is given as the cause of the rapid decline. One historical authority states that the earliest discovery of iron within the present limits of this country was the mountain range of western North Carolina, and the first effort to manu facture it into merchantable form was made in the State of Virginia in 1619. The foundry was destroyed by the In dians in 1622. The County Court Judge of Oldham, England, has recently decided that a cat is "a quasi-domestic animal," and that its owner is not responsible for its actions. In tho course of his de cision, the judge said the feline's "intellect is not so extensive as to render it able to distinguish between chickens and small birds." A Philadelphia paper gathers a cer. tain amount ot comfort from tho fact that the "scrapple" of the Quaker City and the baked beans of Boston are to be found on the menu cards of the New York restaurants. It argues from this gastronomic fact that the above alimentary tit-bits have put the three cities on a more friendly foot >flg. An impressive instance of patriotic service is presented in tho case of President Britlin, of the New Orleans City Council, who has directed the Committee on Budget and Assessment to transfer tho amount of his salary, S6OOO, to tho contingent fund, as he does not intend to accept any money consideration for his official services. It is not believed that this sort of thing will ever become chronic. Japan is a country already begin ning to suffer from the "disease of civilization," although but a few years hav, elapsed sinco it emerged from primitive and comparatively innocent conditions. According to Mr. Saito Wokofu, a statistician of note, sui cides t have been extraordinarily fre quent during the past ten years and are steadily on the increase, especially amoug women. The Japanese statis tician, pursuing his investigation* further, finds that about one-half the suicides are persons of unsound mind; aud among men the most frequent causes of insanity is finaucial trouble. The people seem to be getting only what is worst in Nineteenth Century civilization. Tho French Minister of Agriculture has instituted an extra parliamentary commission for the purpose of study ing certain proposals for tho improve ment of agriculture. France contains about 15,000,000 acres of uncultivated land, and for some years there have been discussions as to the best mode of utilizing it. Tho proposals wcro reafforesting,-irrigation, water supply and restocking with fish tho ponds and streams. The area of land unculti vated is as follows: Moor and heather, 9,722,500 acres; rocky and marshy land, 4,895,000; bogs and swamps, 820,000, and peat land, 115,000. These figures show that out of every aiine acres of laud in France nearly one is in an uncultivated condition. A SMILE AND A FRCWN, Only a frown! yet it pressed n sting Into tho day which had been so glad; The red rose turned to a senseless thiug, Tho bird song ceased with dlscordaut ring, Aud a heart was heavy and sad. Only a smile! yet it cast a spell Over the sky which had been so gray; Tho rain made music wherever it foil, The wind sung the song of a marriage-boll And a heart w&light and gay. —Emma C. Dowd. A BACHELOR'S DINNER. M Time is popularly represented as an - aged man, with r"] flowing beard and drapery of white, bearing in one IT§l i band an hour glass i Ff ~ v ' I unt * * n other a ir / B °ythe, so would I TglKi conceive a figure of Poverty, except that I would have carry a bill or a sheriffs at tachment, signi fying that it was not hiH province to cut mo off at one merciful stroke, but to worry aud bore me to death by continually ringing ray doorbell and thrusting the awful document before my bloodshot eyes. Branton is of a different mind. "It is a misconception—a gross mis conception," he declared the other night, resting his feet on the hand somo brass fender and gazing medita tively into the fire that glowed on the hearth of his library. "Poverty should be represented as carrying in one hand a heart, and in the other, perhaps, a dart." "Or a fat purse," I said to myself. But my friend's case is an unusual one. His kindly conception of what should be a grim, repulsive figure had its origin, and not without rcuson, in his own experience. With mo it is different. My financial condition has changed but little since the day we received my aunt's hurried note an nouncing that she had run down from Newport with my cousin Lyvia, who, by the way, has not yet been intro duced to society, aud a charming girl from San Francisco. To be frank, I am still living in Holwood's pleasant apartment overlooking the avenue, and must of lecessity continue u recipient of his kindness uutil he gets back from bis tour of the world. What I shall do then I dare not contemplate. But that does not concern Branton. When the note of ray aunt's ar rived my fortunes were at their lowest ebb, For weeks I had been doing my own cooking, and Brnnton's arrivul from tho West, where, through uo fault of bis own, bo had lost the small fortune that had fallen to his posses sion on the death ot his father, an English country gentleman who had left a large number of sons to divide a moderate estate, added an additional burden to my thin pocketbook. Just why my friend had left tho West he did not explain further than that cir cumstances had reduced him to a men ial position on a ranch, and he was in a fair way to rise when he suddenly made up his miud to go home, aud landed in New York, penniless and compelled to accept my poor hospi tality. For four days ho had been seeking work in vain when I heard from my aunt. It was early in the fall; lew people were in town; her house was closed and sho thought it would be jolly for Lyvia and a charm ing friend of hers to speud au evening in bachelor hall. Would I pardon the sudden notice and expect them at 7 o'clock sharp? At tho time pardon was not granted, but I had to make tho best of circumstances. Even had I known just where to address ray kind relative. I could hardly have dared asked her to excuse me, particu larly on the ground of ray financial straits, for, bred us sho has been in the lap of luxury, poverty is a thing beyond her understanding. To her it is a crime. She cannot iraagino that a person with a normal amount ot common sense should bo afflicted with it. Fortunately I had still remaining $lO from ;ho last remittance of my father, which came enclosed in au affectionate epistle saying that he had given me the best possible education, fitted me to battle with tho world, and thought that thereafter I had better do for myself. With this money we procured the necessary supplies for a simple dinner, and I despatched a note to Carter asking him to join us. Then aroso tho question of service. We had no servant, and naturally it was necessary that some one attend at the table. As I was ruefully eyeing my small stock of remaining money, Bran ton, ever ready, came to my assist ance. He knew no one in town and was going to sail for home just as soon as ho could afford it. With his cleau shaven fuce ho would pass for a most respectablo butler. Of course 1 de murred, but ho iusisted, and eventu ally won his point. To this little vic tory can bo traced his kindly concep tion of an artistic figure of poverty. | Holwood's silver servico presented | a stunning appearance when wo ar ranged it on the table that evening. The soup as it btcamed on the back of the range, the roast as it sizzled in the oven, the few simply cooked vegeta bles iu the pots all ready for serving looked excellent, and Branton made the most imposing butler I have ever set eyes on, for he always was u hand some fellow. Ho it was with a feeling akin to satisfaction that I threw my self into a chair in the study when the menial labor was over and awaited the coming of my guests. Already Bran ton was aping a well bred lackey, and ec inimitably did he play his part that I almost imagined myself tho proprie tor of a well appointed establishment, instead of a struggling young man with no occupation and but four dol lars and thirty-two cents in the world. At length the bell rang and my but ler opened the door. It was He passed through the opening in the portieres that the obsequious Branton had mado for him and was seated be side me. After the usual compliments of the day had been exchanged he glanced furtively toward the hall, then whispered : "A new man?" "Yes," I replied, enveloping my self in cigarette smoke to hide the high coloring of my face. "I got him to-day. M "Hum!" he exclaimed. "Made a ten-strike at last, eh?" He referred to my getting a ten strike and a good servant on the same day, and 1 thanked him, but before I had an opportunity to go into particu lars, for it was evident that he was curious, I heard Branton open the door and a confusion of soft voices. A moment later I hud affectionately greeted my aunt and cousin, made my obeisance to Miss Rosa Mell and ush ered my guests to the room set apart for them, for my butler had suddenly disappeared and left this last duty to me. When I saw Rosa Mell in thoffull glare of the study lights I forgot the inconvenience to which I had been put, that to keep up appearances I had been driven to deception, and I was really honest in tho thanks I showered on my aunt for the honor of her coming. She was a beautiful girl, with a tall, finely proportioned figure ; deep black hair and eyes, and a face no feature of which was perfect, but which fts a whole, wns most attractive. To bo frank again, Miss Moll's charms were further increased for me by are mark my aunt made as I led her out to dinner. "Now, Frank, dear, mind your ps and qs," she whispered. "She's as rich as Mrs. Crrasus, aud the charm ingest—it's the best word—girl I know." "Thank you for your kindly interest, aunt," I replied in an undertone. In a louuer voice I added, "I am well contented with my bachelor condi tion." "And who wouldn't bo in such a jolly place," cried my cousin, as wo were seated, aud her eyes scanned tho walls, covered with curios that Hol wood had gathered from every quarter of the globe. "I almost long to be a bachelor—" That was as far as Miss Mell pro gressed, for as she was speaking her eyes fell upon the butler standing be hind my chair. She flushed, then the color left her face and she stared at him, unconsciously. Her confusion was but momentary. She recovered herself and with tho greatest com posure added: "Yes, it must be jolly to be a bachelor and livo like this." "Vnndergust is certainly an ex tremely lucky fellow," cried Carter. "Are you married?" inquired my pert cousin. "Dear me, no! Never!" my friend exclaimed. "Now don't you think hp's a lucky fellow, Miss Mell?" She thought that I was, poor girl, but I did not have an opportunity for learning hqr reason, for he engaged her attention with au extended ac count of his idea of my luck. My aunt flowed off into a long recital concern ing tho dulnesa of life at Newport, which my cousin frequently inter | rupted with expressions of dissent or j approval. I responded with ohs, ahe and indeeds, and furtively watched Branton as he served the oysters. His usually ruddy face was as pale as ray Poverty's, his hands trembled as ho moved about at his duties, and he seemed studiously to avoid the glances of the whole company. I wanted to smile at him and if possible cheer him up with a wink, but ho simply would not be winked at. "What a lovely butler you have!" exclaimed Lyvia, as he left tho room for the third course, the roast ho had taken so much pains over, the pota toes I had cut my hands in peeling, the peas we fiail purchased in a can aud boiled or stewed, or something like that. "A splendid-looking fellow, I re marked to Vandegust just before you came," Carter said. "I think he was lucky to get him. Don't you think he was lucky, Miss Mell?" Her reply was inaudible. Bran ton's return necessitated a new lino of conversation. So that ho might have a little fun out of it, 1 spoke of the cook. "If you will pardon my burdening you with my housekeeping woes," I ventured, "I will aHk your advice about a cook. I can't get a good one." "I think ho or 6he does very well indeed," said my aunt. "But good ones won't stay." "A matter of days out I suppose?" "Perhaps you don't pay them,"ven tured Carter, facetiously. 1 laughed at this, aud succeeded in bestowing a wink on the butler, where upon he immediately dropped the precious dish of potatoes, so that they went tracking over Hoi wood's fine old Turkish rug. Tho miscreant servant, in a moment of confusion and forget fulness, fell upon his knees and tried tosweop them back into the dish with his arms, as ho would have gathered in an abnormally largo stack of chips. My guests and I assumed an air of complete obliviousness to tho inci- 1 dent, and by tho time ho had arisen from the floor, with hair disheveled and burning face, and escaped from the room, wo were talking of the West. "You know, Frank," laughed my aunt, "you Eastern men have abso lutely failed to make an impression on Rosa." "I'm certain Miss Mell has not failed to mako on impression, a deep impression, on us Eastern men," observed Carter, gallantly. "Do you • think she has failed, Yaudergust?" "I'm competent to speak for but two," I replied, "but I will say—" i "Mrs. Yaudergust does me an injus tice," cried Miss Moll. "I do like New York men—" "Bat Done are quite BO fascinating as a certnin person you met on your ranch," interrupted my cousin. "A cowboy 1" asked Carter, sudden ly becoming intensely interested. "A cow-puncher, if you will," laughed the fair girl, "with a re volver, a red shirt, and all the appro priate settings." "She tries to laugh it off," cries Lyvia. "But really, Mr. Carter, it's true." "Nonsense, Lyvia," Miss Mell ex claimed, with the most charming possible frown. "Don't deny it," said I, for I was really getting just a bit anxious. "I can imagine him myself—a tall, bronzed chap, with flowing black locks, pieroing eyes, a noble brow—" "And a beard—a lovely Vandyke; don't forget that," my cousin inter rupted. "A cowboy with a Vandyke! Hum; Dangerous!" exclaimed Carter. "Don't you think it's dangerous, Vand or gusty" I admit that Carter has not a great mind, but nt that instant it ran in the same channel as mine, for to me had occurred the idea that a cowboy in a Van Dyke was suspicious. The thing savored of the gentleman; perhaps one of those fellows down on his luck that I read of, or even like Branton. My aunt smiled complacently. Miss Mell leaned back in her chair and sighed, "Oh, Lyvia, why did you ever? " "Why, Rosa, you confessed it all; you know you did," cried my irrepres sible cousin. "And what do you think?" She leaned over as if about to impart to my ears alone a secret of vast import. "I don't think," I answered, "I simply wait." "Ly-vi-a!" My cousin passed unheeded this gentle, plaintive remonstrance, and in a stage whisper said : "I found her one day shedding crocodile tears over his photograph—a horrible looking thing, with fringy edges, you know, and a gilt border, and a —" Tho burst of laughter that inter rupted this disclosure was drowned by a crash of china behind the screen that hid tho door of the butler's pantry, a thud as of a heavy body falling; a moan. I sprang from the table and tossed aside the screen. Dieclosed to our view, prostrate on the floor, his head resting in a mass of broken dishes, lay my friend and butler. "Branton!" I cried, falling down at his side. He made no reply for he was uncon scious. Carter and I picked him up and laid him in the heavily cushioned window scat. "What a clumsy butler ! Ring for the servants 1" cried my aunt, who in the general confusion seemed to think that she alone was calm, and by virtue of that calmness in duty bound to take command. "He's not my butler!" I exclaimed, ; forgetting appearances. "It's Branton —Jim Branton, tho best fellow—" "Water! Water!" screamed Lyvia. I dashed to the tuble and seized a glass, and when I turned again to ray injured friend, Rosa Mell was on her knees at his side, wiping his forehead with her handkerchief. Suddenly his eyes opened and rested on hers. "Rosa! Rosa!" he muttered, and he suddenly reached out his arm aud drew her head down toward him. J glanced at the other and pointed to the door. Silently we passed out of the room. "Well, I never!" my aunt exclaimed, as the portieres closed behind us. "I thought the cowboy was a joke, but a butler—" "Shi" whispered Lyvia. And through the heavy curtains came : "Why did you run away from tho ranch, Jim?" "Why—why—because a poor chap like mo had no right even to hope."— New York Sun. Amber and Its Production. An enormous amount of amber j comes from Prussia, where mined by what is practically a mouopoly. The company controlling tho greater part of the output pay tp the Q overn ment over 8160,000 a year for the privilege of control. It is said that over 85,000,000 has already been paid by this firm in royalties to tho Gov ernment. The beach in East Prussia, after heavy northwest winds, is ofteu thickly strewn with amber, which comes up in the seaweed that is often piled up t the height of three or four feet along the shore. After a storm men, woraej and children swarm over the beach, gathering amber aud find ing most profitable employment there by. From a hundred to a hundred and fifty tons of raw amber are worked up every year in one city. The great er part of it is melted to make varnish and lac. Beads are made of many of tho best pieces, and these are iu de mand all over tho world. Wearing Out Needlessly. Many people wear themselves but needlessly; their conscience is a tyrant. An exaggerated sonse of duty leads a person to anxious, ceaseless activity, to be constantly doing some thing, over-punctual, never idle a second of time, scorn to rest; such aro iu unconscious nerve tension. They say they havo no time to rest, they have so much to do, not thinking they aro rapidly unfitting themselves for probably what would have been their best and greatest work in after years.—The Ledger. Snow-White Cattle. The breed of snow-white cattle which ; were used in tho sacrifices in Athens | and Rome from 2000 to 2500 years i ago, is still in existence in Calabria, | Italy. Groat pain 6 ure taken to main , tain the strain of blood in all its I purity, and calves showing a single i ! Hair of any other color than white are I at once separated from the herd. A NOVEIj CONVENIENCE. A New York woman who for ten years has been a successful general shopping and commission agent, which has brought her into close relations with many women in town and out, has now added to her former business a subscription-room for ladies. It is meant chiefly for the benefit of shop pers, and affords them a place where they cun rest, write notes, receive parcels, etc. Hero they may also have the services of a manicure, of a boot black, und tho comfort of a bath and a cup of tea or coffee, may use the telephone or telegraph, order cabs, and consult the directory or iailway guides. OFFICE GIBLS IN CHICAGO. They ore introducing office girls in Chicago, and those who have them in their employ aro very well pleased with them. They say that the office girl is superior to tho office boy iu many particulars. In the first place she does not smoke cigarettes. As a rule she has absolutely no taste for dime novels. She is usually bright, quick and energetic, and ever so much cleaner and neater than any boy can be. Testimony upon this point is al most unanimous, and most of those who havo tried office girls declare that never again will they huve an office boy around the premises.—Boston Herald. "Tire" MATERIAL FOB SPRING. If the trade journals are to be cred ited, "the" material for spring and summer wear will bo printed in Jap anese silks. Always cool and capable of most artistic draping, usually smart in design and color and rarely unbecom ing to most women, this prospect of the increased popularity of the fabric should be heralded with joy by fem ininity. No .other kind of warm weather dress goods is, in the long ruD, more satisfactory. In light colors and elaborate patterns it is effective und elegant, while ,'darker tints and quieter designs make it admirable for service. No "doing up," danger of soiling easily or losing its crisp fresh ness is feared where the Jupanese silks are concerned. It only needed the favor of fashion to make them all that is excellent in tho eyes of womankind. If the report proves to bo true, aud the lightweight, lustrous, artistic fabrics are indeed to be tho "feature" of summer clothes, we have much to be tnankful for.—New York Sun. RUSSIAN FASHIONS IN PARIS. Everything beautiful, useful, or orna mental in fashionable Paris nowadays, according to Vogue,is made after Rus sian models. There is the Russian jeweled belt, with its preoious stones in the matrix enormous in size, or studded with brilliantly cut gems, or surfaces sprufkled with turquoise the size of filberts, forming flexible gold panels, yielding to the corves of the waist; and the long chain of prec ious gems—rubies, diamonds,or pearls —measuring from forty-five to fifty four inches in length. The cut gems are set in these chains so that they sparkle from both sides. No necklace is quite so smart as a golden thread, the finest of Venetian chains, from which aro suspended marvelously brilliant stones. Then small fortunes lie in tho jeweled bungles. Tiaras are splendid, so are rivieres, jeweled baugles,ribbons of diamond lace-work, and the many rows of pearls, clasped by a magnificent stone. Beautiful rings, jeweled watches, brooches,scent and salts-bottles with jeweled tops, golden opera glasses, diamond wrought lorgnettes, chain purses, funs more or less bediamonded, joweled pins for the hair, and pi us as lovely for tho hat, side-combs that sparkle, and back combs that rise in scintillating beauty of design—these are tho trappings of grande tenue, with as marked and dis tinct a time ami place when they should be worn as the fasts and feasts on the church calendar, WELFARE OF WORKING WOMEN. The Consumers' League is an or ganization of New York ladies inter ested in tho welfare of working women and girls. They havo published a "white list" of retail houses, and in connection with it oiler much valuable advice to shoppers and salespeople. The league aims at tho amelioration of the condition of workingwomen, and appeals to shoppers, when annoyed by apparent indifference or careless ness, to consiler the hard labor, long hours aud beggarly salaries of those ! who serve them. This is all very well cousidered ethically ; but, a3 the league acknowledges, the saleswomen in the bhop which, of all in New Y'crk, "gives its employes tho greatest number of privileges, have been BO notoriously rude in their treatment of the public that ladies have given that reason for not patronizing itand practically shoppers are always irritated and ofteu exasperated by the impertinence of the ordinnry ruu of these attendants. The question of manners and consider ation is of fur more importance to tho saleswomen than to the customers. The customers are not obliged to sub mit to bad manners; they can go else where. The bad munners of salesmen, aud particularly of saleswomen, are one of the misfortuues of modern life. This criticism is not so truo of the men as of the women. The fault of the men when they try to be polite, especially with ladies, is coarse fa miliarity. The fault of the women is rudenoss and indifference, especially ! toward other women. They affect not to see them when they enter the store, not to hear them when they ask to see goods; fling the article asked for befere them, and resume a conver sation of their own with their mates, making it difficult for the customer to attract their attention again. *'l am as good as you, and I want you to know it, though I am a saleswoman," expresses the feeling at the bottom of much rudeness and indifference. Manners should be considered by these people and their employers as neces sary as neat dress, or ability to add and subtract, or [English speech.—Ar gonaut. Gossir. The late Mrs. T. S. Slade, of Cin cinnati, left SIO,OOO for distribution among charities. William Sioiber, the newest Colo rado millionaire, has his wife for a business partner. Julia Levy, of New York City, gavo up ell her savings to save her father's business from attachment. Ella Wheeler Wilcox has just cele brrted her forty-third birthday. The "Poetess of Passion" was born near Madison, Wis. Miss Artz, of Chicago, has'presented SIO,OOO to the Boston Library where with to establish a Longfellow Me morial Collection. Women are employed by a New York goldsmith as gold beaters. They surpass men in carefulness and deli cacy of workmanship. Miss Knight, of London, has been appointed protessor of unitomy and pathology in the Lhudiana Med'cal School, Northwestern Provinces, India. Georgia Cayvan, the actress, says she eats an apple every night before retiring and another one upon arising. To this habit she attributes her health and spirits. Queen Victoria is said to havo been gready pleased with a present of fruit, thirty boxes in all, sent her from Can ada. It comprised apples, pears, grapes and quinces. The No-Two-Alike Club is the name of an organization of women inSonth ington, Conn., which profess to abhor all of the opposite sex, aud any as sistance they might render. Miss Agues P. Mahony, of New York, has beeu appointed from the State Civil Service eligible list to the posi tion of apothecary at the Manhattan State Hospital, on Ward's Island. Miss Agnes G. Scott, of the Alexan dra College, Dublin, Ireland, has been awarded the gold medal for first place in mathematics, in the senior grade, by the Board of Intermediate Educa tion. Princess Beatrice hn9 recently dis covered somo very rare specimens of flowers and plants which she has placed in her herbarium. She is con sidered a reliable authority on tho subject of botany. The new Bishop of London's wife is in maLy respects a more famous per sonage in English literary upper cir cles than her distinguished husband. Her histories of France and Euglaud have given her high standing us au author. Queen Victoria, when she loaves Windsor for Balmoral, is provided with about a dozen copies of u sort of way bill of her journey, which con tains a list of all the people in tho train and the compartments in which they are. A Berlin publisher has issued a vol ume devoted to tho women of Berlin. It contaius contributions ou this topic from every point of view by Frenzel, ltodenberg, Eoers, Wolzogen, Mauth ner, Pietseb, Franzos, Stettenheim aud other well-kuown writers. When Queen Amolie of Portugal re cently visited Paris, she was much in terested iu tho Pasteur Institute and the many remarkable experiments sue saw pertoruied there. She is already writing another book, in which she elaborates hex own medical theories. FASHION NOTES. The fur with which a chapeuu is trimmed should match the mull carried with it. Some lovely chinchilla seis consisting of hat, stole and muff are shown by furriers. Silver toys for collector* are out in now designs, aud are notable for tine workmanship. Lose pink satin dinner gowns with trimmings of sable are favorod by fair ones in society. Muff chuins are in evidence. When of gold, with gems set at intervals, they become coveted treasures. Women with old Persian lamb muffs are utilizing theui for tho chic littie turban so much worn nowadays. The leading style in fans is tho small empire or Marie Antoinette | affair. The sticks are of pearl, umber, tortoise shell or horn. A waist of black crepo de chine is made up with rose-pink crepon and pink ribbons. The body is. rltted at i the sides and back and very full and drooping in the front, which is com i posed of the pink crepon shirred over the black goods. The collar is of pink, closely shirred, and stands well up around the throat. Tho shoulder i ruffles are of pink, lined with black. •THEY SAY." "They say"—ah! well, suppose they do But can they prove the story true? Suspicion may arlso for naught, But malice, envy, want of thought. Why count yourself nmong tho "they" Who whisper what they dare not "They say." But why the tale rehears© Aud help to make the matter worse? No good can possibly accrue From telling what maybe untrue, And is It not n noble plan To speak of all the best you can? "They say." Well, if it should be so > Why need you tell tho tale of woe? Will it the bitter wrong redress. Or make one pang of sorrow less? Will it the errlnc one restore, Henceforth to "go and sin no more?" "Thoy say"—Oh! pause ant look within; Bee how your heart inclines to sin, Watch! lest in dark temptations hour You, too, should sink beneath its powe. Pity tho frail, weep o'er their fall. But speak of good, "or not at all." —New Haven Register* IIU3IOR OF THE DAY. Mamma—"Now, take this, Johnny. You like sugar, you know." Johnny— "Yes, but pills spoil it."—Pack. Teacher—"Who is that whistling in school?" New Boy—"Me. Didn't you know I could whistle?"— London Fi garo. She—"Strange how wet it is." He "Be stranger still if it were dry with such heavy rains."—Comic Home Journal. He—"Missßelle is easily deceived." She—"How's that? "He "She thinks she's mad because I kissed her. Town Topics. He—"May I kiss yon? I have never kissed a girl before." She— "You can't break auy records with • me."—Town Topics. Beautiful Heiress (after tho ball): "Mary, go back to tho hall and see if perhaps there are any more lieutenants kneeling about."—Fiiegende Blaetter. His Fathor—"Now you can see what your course of living h is brought you to." The Spendthrift—"Yos, indeed! I can't borrow another cent."—Puck. "The man brought a ton of coal yes terday, and now it's gone. It must have been stolen." "Don't be hasty. Perhaps you mislaid it yourself."— Detroit Tribuue. Prison Inspectors—"That man over there seems to positively enjoy the troadmill." Warder—"Yes, sir. 'E's used to the haction. 'E was a bicycle thief."—Household Words. Mrs. Knight—"Does your husband treat you the same now as he did when ho was courting you?" Mrs. Laight— "Pretty much. He keeps me iu the dark."—Yonker3 Statesman. "Look here, Gerald ! Your father and Captain Armstrong are giving Ella a lesson ou the bicycle." "Yes, Mummie; but why does Ella always fall off on Captain Armstrong's side?" —Punch. "I wonder what got Bluebeard starting to cutting oft' his wives' heads?" "Very the likely tho idea occurred to bioi while he was at the theatre behind a big hat."— Indian apolis Journal. "Has your husband tbe button collecting fad?" inquired tho caller. "Well," replied young Mrs. Torkins doubtfully; "he usually helps take up the contribution in our church."— Washington Star. In Russia teachers arc none too well paid. At a scholastic meeting some one xiroposed the toast: "Long live our school teachers." What on?" asked a cadaverous-looking specimen, rising in his seat.—Tit-bits. Cbolly—"I wonder if your father would fly into u passion if I were to a9k him for you?" Adelaide "Not if you toll him flrst that ho looks twenty years younger since he shave off his whiskers."—Cleveland Loader. Mrs. Tambliu (tearfully) : "They brought my husbaud home in a hack from the bauquet lad night. How did yours get home ?" [Mrs. Sanderson—"l don't know, but I suspect that he was carried along by his breath."—Cleve land Leader. Medium (to party at sitting)—" The spirit of your deceased husband desires to converse with you." Wife— "Huh ! if he ain't got no moro spirit now than he had when he died, he ain't worth troubling about."—New York World. He—"l have often wished, dearest, that we lived in tho old days of chivalry, so I could do some brave act to prove my devotion to you." She— "l have wished so myself, Edwin ; but still, you haven't asked papa's consent yet."—Lark. "How matrimony does change a inanl" "Huh! It changes a woman, too. When we were engaged my wife-to-be was always trying to make me save money. Now she doesn't gimme a chance to save a cent."— Chicago Enquirer. Magistrate —"The gamekeeper says that he saw you taking this pheasant. What have you to say to that?" Prisoner—"l ouly took it for a lark." Magistrate "Six months for making such an ornithological error. Con sult your natural history iu future." Judy. "Have you been able to catch the Speaker's eye?" asked the first lady member of Parliament. "Have I?" rejoined the second M. P. "Well, rather; I wore my navy blue bengaline with the heliotrope sleeves, and the Speaker couldn't keep his eyes off me." —Pearson's Weekly. The Doctor—"Mrs. Briggs has sent for me to go and see her boy, and I must go at once." "What is the mat ter with the boy?" The Doctor—"l don't know; but Mrs. Briggs has a book on 'What to do Before the Doc tor Comes," and I must hurry up beloreshe does it."—Collier's Weekly.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers