The best plan to establish a reputa tion for being eccentric and original nowadays is to firmly refuso to ride a wheel. Canada is evidently forecasting an nexation to the United States by the recent victory there of tho Liberals ever the Tories, remarks the New York Mail and Express. Madrid (Spain) schools nro so bad that the German residents of tho city have united to establish a school where their children may obtain as good an sdncation as in moro civilized parts of Europo for a roasouahlo outlay of money. A writer in tho Wisconsin Agricul turist says that the remedy for de pression of tho farming interest in Amorica is to reduce tho cultivated area by one-half, and correspondingly increaso the labor and capital expend ed on the remainder, England's freight rates are too high to allow her to compete with Germany nd Belgium in the iron industry. Besides this, Germany's laborers have technicul training far above that of the Englishmen. England HOPS this, tnd-for some time lias admitted it. William C. Harris, editor of tho American Angler, has an aitioleintho Independent on "Fishing," in which tie has this to say of the ethics of tho relations between fishermen: "In pursuing this pastime, which, by tho way, has afforded so much relaxation to many of tho greatost and best men in the world, the amateur, at a very early point in his career, must keep in mind tho ethics of tho art of ang ling. The ethical spirit in tho true ingler is that which makes him, when ho is on a trout stream, keep away from a pool that another fisherman is fishing in ; if ho finds a man fishing a swim, as thoy say in England, ho doesn't crowd him. Iu other words, tho ethics of angling means that tho angler is a gentleman, ruled by tho Golden llulo and actuated by tho in stincts of a gontlomau when ho goes sna stream." But how about tho sthics of tho relations between the fisherman and tho fish? Does the Golden Rule rulo there also? Of late years the crimo of murder has rapidly increased in tho United Mates. Fifteen years ago tlioro were less than one thousand murders com mitted annually. Sinco that time, howrver, tho number has steadily ;rown from year to year. In 1880 there were 144!) murders committed in tho United States. During the next twelve months tho ravages of this do itructivo crimo were still more pro nounced. Tho records for that year show th it 2035 murders wore commit ted, or nearly twico as many as tho rear boforo. Since that time tho rec ord has lioen ns follows: 18S8, 2884; 1889, 3567; 1890,4290; 1891, 5900; 1892, 0791; 1893, fiGle; 1894, 9800; 1890, 10,212. If theso figures aro cor rect the number of murders commit ted in this country during tho last fif teen years has far out-traveled tho growth of population. Within five years theso murdors have doubled in number, whilo the population of tho United States has not doubled in thir ty-five or forty years. A curious olomont has arisen in tho population of the Pacific coast—China men born there and now grown to manhood, says Harper's Woekly, They number a good many hundreds, and come of them prefer to rank as American citizens rather tliau as sub jects of the Emperor of China. A few have registered and voted in San Francisco aud elsewhere, nnd as no protest has been made, their title to tbo suffrago has not yet boon judicially determined. Legal opinion inclines to the belief that whou the point gots before tho United States Supremo Court it will bo decided in favor of theso odd Americans, who may claim tho ballot as a birthright. A China man who coases to bo one iu dross or mode of life is an unknown personage in San Francisco. Nevertheless, tho young men burn on tho coast aro dis posed to compromise with tho preju dices of their imported elders and tho customs of tho environing whites. For example, there is a "parlor" of Chi uoso "Native Sous of tho Golden West" in San Francisco, though it has not been ace-nlod admission to tho Caucasian order of that lino name. Somo of the rules o,' the Chinese par lor are amusing and socially illumi nating. Ono forbids the bringing oi deadly weapons into tho club room. Horse play entails a lino of five dol lars, opium smoking is prohibited, members are not permitted to sloop iu the rooms or gamble there, and, fin ally, no member shall have tho priv ilege of tho parlor "at tho time when he is intoxicated." SCIENTIFIC ANIt INDUSTRIAL. The smoke of wood fires is not in the slightest degree injurious to vege tation. 'J'ho .Smithsonian Institution lias do nated a collection of 215 duplicato specimens of lishes to the University of Orogon. Next October a scientific jubilee will bo held in honor of tbo fiftieth anniversary of the first ajiplieation of ether in surgical operations. It tnksfl the moon exactly 42,521 minutef 'jtwenty-niue days, tivelvo hours ua& forty-four minutes) to mako its revdration around the oartb. Tbo first fossil insect over found in the southern coal field of Pennsyl vania, according to Naturalist \V. Vic tor Lehman, of Tremout, Venn., m sent by him to the Smithsonian In stitution lately. A new uso has been discovered foi hops, namely, the curing of baccn. It is found that a sprinkling of hops in tho brine when bacon and hams are put in pickle adds greatly to the ilavor of both, aud enables them to ho kept an indefinite period. Paris gelee groseillee, which the careless take to tho enrrant jelly, is simply ugaragur, or Ceylon seamoss, flavored with chemical essence which givo it the taste of fruit. Tho au thorities rofttso to interfere with the sale of tho substance on tho ground that it is harmless. JI. Moissan is reported to liavo dis covered a substance which is harder than the diamond, in the form of n compound of carbon aud boron. It is produced by heating boracio aoid and carbon in an electric furnace at a temperature of 5000 degrees. In ap pearance tho composition is black and looks not unlike graphite, A gas lamp for checking boilej furnaces, which performs for the furnace what tho manometer nnd steam gauge do for steam aud water has been devised by Herr Walthor Heinpel, of Dresden. It shows at a glance by tho fluctuations of tho jot, what is tho proportion of carbonic acid and oxygen in the gases of com bustion at any moment, enabling the stoker to control the supply of air at once. An air-tester, for showing tho de gree of contamination of tho air of a workshop or other place where people are crowded together, is an interest ing apparatus lately shown iu Zurich. A closed glass vessel is filled with a rod fluid having tho property of being bleached by carbonic acid. Ono end of a glass siphon dips into tho liquid, and from the other end a drop falls every 100 seconds, and glids slowly down a cord kept stretched by a weight. The moro carbonic acid the air contains, tho quicker the drop loses color. The drop may turn white near tho upper end of tho cord, if tho air is very foul, or it may pass nearly to tho other end boforo tho chiuigo takes place, such graduations as "ex tremely bad," "very bad," "passable" aud "jiuro" being marked on a Bcale for tho guidanco of tho observer. The Zerogrnph. Tho zcrograph, an instrument in ap pearance very much like an ordinary typewriter, is being used iu England for transmitting or receiving telegraph messages. One machino is employed at each end of the line. In sending a telegraphic message no special train ing is required. Tho operator de presses in turn tho keys of what ap pears to he tin ordinary typewriter keyboard, with the usual arrangement of tho letters. The depression of a koy closes tho connection of a local battery of from five to ton small ac cumulators, which causes a enrrout to flow, not only actuating tho printing and inking mechanism of the trans mitting instrument, but also closing tho line circuit, which in its turn com pletes tho local circuit of tho receiving instrument. Tho two machines are thus simultaneously actuated, and as tho operator presses tho key ho not only prints tho message on his own instrument, but makes an exact re production upon the receiving instru ment. As soon us the ond ola line is reached tho machine automatically moves tho paper forward, aud, releas ing a spriug, causes tho paper roller to move along ready lor the first letter to strike at tho commencement of a new lino. The machine is thus jiorfcctly automatic in its action, aud may safely bo left to take euro of itself at tho re ceiving end, tho message as received being printed on tho roll of paper without any attention being required. A Gulden Grain Garden. A drivo through the Red River Val ley will convince tho most skeptical that there is a brilliant futuro for it. In no section of America does the hus bandman reap a greater roward for his labor than in this beautiful valley. In no section of America may any more beautiful sight he seen than in this samo country between seed time and harvest. Tho vast field of "yellow, golden grain" strotchiug as far as the eye can reach, waving gently to aud fro in the gentle summer breeze, with hero end there a pretty farmhouse nestling among the trees ; tho stretches of virgin prairie thickly malted with rich and succulent grasses and tlowcrH of every hue sending forth a most de lightful perfume, tho blue vault of iieavcn meanwhile, stretching away to oho horizon on either side in uubrokeu iplondor, savo hero and there a Hooey rloud—nil this is a sight to thrill tho heart of tho most unromantic. To all thoso men in tho crowded East who aro endowed with a spirit of thrift and enterprise and who wish to provide comfortable liomo.s for themselves and families we say, come to North Dakota, Hbo has room for the farmer, the mer chant and tho mechanic. The Red River Vnlley of Nortli Dakota oilers facilities second to no place in America for all such people.—Fargo Record. FISHING SEASON OPEN THE fishing season, which has just legally commenced, promises, ac cording to old experts, to he one j where general observance of the game ■ laws has led to a marked improvement j In the quality of the sport. There is to- j day more and better fishing in Michi gan. Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota and other Wetstern States than there was J twenty years ago, and piscatorial en- j thusiasts about this time form many plans for a jaunt in pursuit of the gamy bass, the elusive pickerel and the | ferocious inuskellunge. Those who are simply home anglers, cannot complain, either, for 1890 is turning out "a great year for fisli"—perch, trout, suckers, red horse, and even the dogfish being in large evidence in lake, brook and coun try stream. The black bass, however, are the lure that sportsmen have to follow, and the black bass are biting now. In a thou sand lakes reached by railroads diverg- | ing from Chicago, Indianapolis, St. Louis and Minneapolis, the whirr of the reel is heard, while along streams like tin? Fox Kiver, which Hows on its way in a straight north and south line to the Illinois and the Mississippi, there is fishing that would delight the heart of an Izank Walton. Loosely drawn fish laws almost ruined these streams. Fifteen years ago many of them were completely fished out. In the early spring thousands of fishermen would invade the spawning beds, and the seine drew tons of fish from the clear waters. Then the government took a NONIC COULD OKT AWAY. hand in the matter. Kigid laws were passed, and game wardens were paid to enforce them. The fishery commis sion brought millions of fish from government hatcheries and dumped them into the Fox and other rivers, and as a result such waters now teem with bass, pickerel, pike, perch and other fish. Up in Wisconsin and wherever what are known as "grass lakes" exist, the fisherman is early at his post tins year. Such grounds are favorable for the man who knows how to cast a bait so lie will just miss a lily pod. A typical lake of tlds "lass will usually be found to have a bank of weeds at one shore, terminating in deep water, with a gravel and rock bottom. Pickerel and bass live in these weeds and many a good catch can be made by the fisher man who will skirt the bank with a spoon hook. The lake is alive with large perch and you can catch silver bass, rock bass, red eyes, croppies and cattish until you become tired of the sport. There is another fish in the lake and you need not mistake him when the line runs out with n vicious jerk. This is the dogfish. The dogfish is not count ed good eating, but lie certainly is game. I nlike the trout: or bass he never breaks water, but ,*;oes straight to the bottom and fights and pulls. A ten-pound dog fish will put up a fight that will make your blood tingle, and the light is not over even when he is hauled into the boat. The dogfish is a terror to light tackle and no mercy is shown him by the various fishing clubs, many of whom pay a small bounty for the heads of these fresh water sharks. 11l vers that empty into the great lakes, especially in Michigan, are pop ular breeding spots for the black bass. White bass, too, run in schools there. This fish begins such movements at fi in the morning and evening. They weigh from one to three pounds, and put up quite a fight, are a beautiful sil ver colored fish, and esteemed as a la ble delicacy. The silver catfish is a like prize found in Eastern Michigan j streams. Farther west, the Mississippi : Kiver. from La Urosse to Lake Pepin, is one of the host fishing spots in the country. Here thrive the black bass, pike and pickerel. It is generally as sumed that the only fish in the Missis slppi of any consequence is the catfish, but this is not true of the upper Missis sippi. The water is as clear as crystal, A CIOOD CATCH. II iifl numerous brooks teeming with trout empty from the Wisconsin nnd Miiiiicsola sides. Jtlack bass ami pike fishing in the Mississippi is ( specially good in the vicinity of Beef Slough and the mouth of the Chippewn lliver. The banks of Lake I'epin are lined with the huts of professional fishermen, who seine the lake for bass and other game fish. The iniss are of the small mouth variety and are noted for their gamey lighting qualities. Perhaps 10,(100 ardent anglers yearly haunt the great lie! work of lakes cross ing Northern Illinois and Wisconsin. Hero is truly the sportsman's para dise, and every boy who has caught a sucker or a buss in tlie village pond or river, looks forward to tho day when he shall land a giant muskcllunge; you cannot miss good fishing in this dis trict any where south of Lake Superior. If you do not like the lake you are in, go a mile or two in any direction, and you 11ml another. As will be seen by the map, the territory is a labyrinth of waterways. No man living knows how many lakes there are In Wisconsin. Every one of them is full of fish, and the man who skims Okauchee Lake one week, and Eagle Lake the next, sings constant praises of bass and miiskel lunge, and rod and reel. An old fisherman says that if a begin ner wants to become a good bass angler lie must observe and imitate the tac tics of some old expert who knows ev ery letter of the black bass alphabet. A shelving sand shore with reeds is tlie favorite ground for this fish, but several articles of bait are necessary. Spoons, spinners and phantoms should be supplemented by such natural bait as the natural angler uses. In some waters firelight has an irresistible charm for these fish. In one lake one season there were no bass caught, though the fishermen knew there was an abundance of fish. One niglit a party of campers fishing for bullheads from a Hat rock less than a rod from their big blazing fire began to land bass. In mi hour or so they bad taken forty good ones. Eve I*3' body took to fire fishing at niglit, and with unfailing success. In fact, without the fire at all, on a clear night, one can land some slapping big bass if he will row along the shore, keeping well within the shadow line and casting out into the light space. The color of Hies or bait seems to make no difference with the biting. In old times it was believed the light flies were alone effective, but big catches with dark Hies have long ago exploded that notion. It is the commotion, the stir upon the calm surface, which at tracts tlie bass. An umnoving bait, bo it ever so light, would prove a vain one. HANDLES BILLIONS. Iliis Young New-Yorker Has Unrolled Over $23,000,000,000 In Cash. William J. Gilpin, assistant manager I of the New York Clearing House, ban- j dies more money in actual cash than j any other person in the country and ! probably in the world. It does not pass ! through his hamls in the form of cheeks, j bonds or stock cert I flea tes, but in legal tenders and treasury notes—that is to say, in so many actual dollars. Every business day of the year bo handles over $5,000,000. lie has count ed as much as $15,000,000 in a single w. .t. rar.i'ix AT WORK, day. Altogether he has had to do with the handling of over $25,000,000,000 in cash. This stupendous sum represents far more than the sum total of the fur tunes of all the millionaires in America and I-]urope combined. Mr. Gilpin is a young man and is eon tent with the modest salary of $5,000. lie has been in the clearing house since 1878. Terse Criticism. Charles Frederick Robinson Ilay wnrd, a Denver editor, wrote learnedly of the drama and could keenly analyze every phase of the actor's art. But ids shortest criticism will probably out live any other written by him. It was as follows: "George ('. Miln, the preacher-actor, played 'Hamlet' at the Academy of Music last niglit. lie played it till twelve o'clock." The only other critism that seems to class with this emanated from Leadviile, where a performance of "Richard III." by a barn-storming troupe was chronicled under the glaring head line of "Many Lives Lost." A Largo Hand. The largest British regimental band Is that of the Royal artillery at Wool wich, while the finest is generally al lowed to be the hand of the Coldstream guards. The Belgian Guides' regiment numbers more than KM) members. The great continental powers recognize the military band as an essential adjunct of every regiment. In Austria and Spain it is said that they frequently number as many as cight3* performers, and forty is a common number in Rus sia, Italy and Belgium. England is still the only country which has adopt ed a systematic government method of educating her military bandsmen and bandmasters. inventors Rewarded. During the present century several ljio!ie3' grants have been made by tho Crown to Inventors and discoverers, whose labors were deemed of advan tage to the public. To Dr. Jenner, for his discovery of vaccination in 1802, $50,000 was given, and in 1807 SIO,OOO. Dr. Cartwright received $50,000 and Mr. Crompton $40,000 for their various mechanical inventions; Mr. Palmer in 1813, $25,000 and an annuity of $15,000 for his plan of conveying the mails; and Mr. Harrison for his chronometer, SIO,OOO. Since that time many grants have been made to Arctic explorers and others. , RIELP-H KM.XHOITI lfebrotvft to Emigrate. : Baron Hirsoh's widow has donated sio,- 000,000 to promote tho emigration of lCua siun Hebrews to Argentine. THE FIELD OK ADVENTURE. THRILLING INCIDENTS AND DAR ING DEEDS ON LAND AND SEA. I'Jxclting Adventure With a Grizzly— A Thrilling Runaway—A Vessel Collides With a Whale. Harry l. romaine, who has just returned to his homo in Elk City, Idaho, 6 after spending several weeks prospecting in tho Bitter Root Mountains, relates a most exciting ad venture which befell him near Murray, the county seat of Shoehono County: "My partner, Beu Williams, and I had been working our way along tho rango from a point near Big Bald Mountain to the loop where tho Bitter Root rango and the Cceur d'Alenes form a big, natural amphitheatre, where big game, especially elk, aro plentiful. Wo docided to stay there until wo had time to follow up tho load, as old miners say. Wo pitched our camp uuder tho shadow of a rock ribbed sentinel, passing our first night iu tho little tent which had served us splendidly during several hard rains. On tho following morning Ben found tho track of a boar down by tho spring whore we got our water. Tho print of that foot was as big as a dinner plate, and tho fact that some empty salmon cans and some other refuse which had been thrown just outside tho tent were missing set us to thinking, and it wasn't difficult to trace tho con nection between the missing articles and the owner of tho big foot. "There was no more tenting for yours truly alder that, so wo built una sort of slono fortress 111 a suitable nook, where nature had already dono the mason work on throo sides. After laying up the wall on tho vacant side we placed heavy poles across tho top, 011 which wo put fiat stones. "We did all our prospecting to gether for a week or ten days, Ben anrrviug his big 50-90 Sharp's special and acting as body-guard, while I handled tho pick. All that time wo saw no hears, but plenty of elk and antelope and not a lew mountain sheep. Our grizzly bear searo finally cooled. One morning I decided to ex plore a si do canon. Bob was to climb over tho big spur that loomed up over our camp, swiug around and meet mo at noon near a sharp cone of rock which we called Currecauti N'eodle. I found mighty likely pay rock up that ravine, anil tho further I went the better tho ?howing. Tho place iu undoubtedly the sito of an old volcano. Great masses of rock from overhanging crags have ialleu and rent tho floors, with some of tho fissures very wido and ap parently bottomless. Knocking off a piece of friablo sand rock I found it to bo auriferous, or gold-bearing rock. I don't know whether tho yell I gavo split any more cracks in tho rock round there or not, but one thiug I do know, f nearly split my throat in the effort, and then I mounted tho big chunk and swung my hammer like a madman, knocking off chips right and left until L had a big pilo. "Soon 1 beard a noiso close by, and lupposing it to bo Ben, I yelled: 'Hurrah, Ben, I've struck it ri—!' Fust then I looked up, aud the sight 1 saw froze my blood. Not forty feet distant was au immense silver tip grizzly. "Acting upon impulse I hurled my quartz hammer at tho monster, and, as ho dropped on ah fours, I leaped from the rock, hoping to evade him by dodging around tho boulder. It may have been a foolish move, but I had no time to think. After jumping from the rock I was obliged to halt a moment, in order to satisfy myself which way he was comiug. I improved the moment by drawing my forty-four Colt's from its sheath. "When tho bear reached tho point where ho expected to nab mc, and found that I was not there, ho gavo vent to a tremendous snuff, followed by a kind of guttural roar, and again 1 beard him coming at a doublo quick. L ran as I nover ran bo fore. "I glanced hurriedly arouud and saw the gigantic fellow coming liko a demon and then I stepped into one of the fissures I told you about, and down 1 went like a flash. Tho grizzly was so close on mo when I fell that ho went entirely over me, carried by the force of his momentum. He was back again iu a moment though, his immense head hanging over the rim of my nar row prison, which 1 quickly and laost gratefully saw was too narrow to ad mit liis bulky body. "I was on my kueos not six feet bo low tho grizzly, aud I felt that I could do deadly work with my revolver at that range. I pointed my pistol straight at the yawniug red mouth. My pistol roared in my tars. Five shots more were fired as fast as I could send them, aud then my gun was empty, but, thanks to my lucky stars, one ol my bullets pierced au eye and the job was done. "1 was as weak as a baby when I climbed out of the Assure. I got all over it though when Beu caino, and I told him I just knocked that grizzly on tho head with my quartz hammer liccauso ho seemed to objoct to my lo cating a claim round thero." A Thrilling Runaway. In May, 1857, John Mathowson, n pioneer in hydraulic luiuing, to whom belongs tho erodit of building the water-derrick in California, had both legs broken while orecting §i derrick at Washington, on the North fork of tho Yuba River, twenty-fivo miles north of tho Nevada City. Ho was taken out of tho ruins of his derrick aud word sent to Novada City for an ambulance. O. S. Olin was tho driver of the daily stago between Washington and Novada City, aud ho at once placod a bed in a Concord coaoh and drovo over from Nevada City. Next morn . ing tho injured mau was tenderly placed in tho coacli and mado as com fortable as possible. At tho Cold Spring House, six miles from town, Olin pulled up to water his horsoSp winding tho ribbons around tho brake boforo leaving tlio box. A dog ran a drovo of hogs under the horses' feet, and in a flash tho spiritod animals were tearing down tho ridgo. Somo ono at Nevada City happened to bo scanning tho road through a field glass, and suddenly shouted, "Tho stage is coming an' Olin ain't on tlio box." The news spread through tho town like wildfire, audin an incredibly short time tho whole lown turned out and all who had tieldglasscs were anxious ly watching tho swaying stage in its mad career along tho ridge toward tho steep grade leading into town. It was still somo four miles distant. Tho excitement was intense. Every ono knew that Mathowson, helpless and weak, lay inside, at tho mercy of tho four blooded animals. Tho wheel ers especially woro a splendid pair of mettlesome stallions, and tho leaders carefully selected. No power on earth could have stoppod thorn on that ridge. Down tho grado they plunged. Tho speed was terrific. Strong men turned away in horror, expecting from moment to moment that tho stngo would go crashing into tho canyon below. Half tho distance toward town had been accomplished in safety whon a hoarse cry brolco from tho watching multitude. "Tliostump! tliebowldor !" Three miles from town the stage road led between a stump on the lower side and a bowlder on tho upper side of tho grade. With loug plunging strides tho ani mals approached this danger point. Tho crowd was too horrified to shout. Only a stifled groan, more eloquent than words could have been heard. "A fow rods more and God help poor Mathowson," reverently mur mured a grizzled miner, as tho tears flowed down his wrinkled faco. Many a hard-looking but tender-hearted man around him murmured, "Amen." Gaining increased momentum at every bound, the stage ran into a cloud of dust just before reaching tho stump and bowlder. Awod, pallid, upturned faces gazed with fascinated intentoess at that little cloud of dust. "They've dono it," wliispored a man in front, with eyes still glued to his gla-s. With only fourteen inches to spare 011 either side of tho stage it had passed through it safely. But tho danger was not yet over. Tho steep est and roughest part oi tho road was yot to corac. As tho stage reached town tho people gave way on either side, none dream ing of tryiug to stop tho foam-covered stallions in thoir wild run. Along Coyote street they whirled, tlion making a flat-iron turn entered Main; still on they dashed, wheeling into Commercial, then up into Pino and still at full speed to Broad, head ing for the destination of tho stage in front of tho National or Pierson's Hotel, in tho middlo of tho block. Arthur Hagadom, tho owner of tho stage line, was standing, palo with ex citement, closo to where tho stago usually reined in. None can over know how it camo about, but at tho sight of the familiar figuro tho four intelligent animals slowed up aud camo to a stop within a foot of where they would havo been driven bad Olin been on tho box. Stepping up to the lead horse, Haga dom stroked his wet neck and said: "Noble fellow, you've done your last day's work." Mathowson was unhurt and feobly tbnnked friends and acquaintances who crowded around tbo stago to con gratulate him on his miraculous es cape. Such is tho record of ono of the wildest stage rides ever takou by man. A Vessel Collides With a Whale. The schooner Etna put into tho Dela ware Breakwater recently, leaking, as a result of a most remarkable accident, having run ucross a monster sperm whale oir Capo Hatteras. Tho vessel was bound from Jacksonville, Fla., to New York, with a cargo of lumber. Sho was boating up tho coast at a lively speed, and when off Hatteras was suddenly stopped with a shock that sent all hands staggering about tho deck, aud subsequently caused the schooner to roll violently. NOllO of tho crow knew at first what tho big submerged object was with which tho Etna had collided, aud con sternation reigned for a time. Cap tain Craft and his men investigated, with the keenest possible interest, for they knew tbo vessel was ; n very deep water, aud couldn't conceive what ob ject under tho surfaco of tho sea could have caused a shock 60 severo. There was no grating of tho keel, as thcro would havo been had tho vessel struck bottom or run across a submergod dcrolict, but within a minute after tho collision had occurred tho cause of tho mysterious trouble was mado mani fest. Peering over the tide of tho vessel, tho Captain and crew saw a big sperm whalo spouting blood and water. Tins was tho hidden monster tho Etna uud struck, and the collision appoaved to havo boon as disastrous to the whalo as to tho schooner. Tho sailors bo liovo that tho king of fish was asleep when tho vessel struck him, but ho was certainly very wide awake as ho floundered about under the vessel im mediately afterward. Shortly aftor tho collision occurred the vessel began to fill rapidly, having sprung a leak wlion sho struck the whalo. All hands were at once called to man tho pumps and savo tlio Etna from becoming water logged. The men wero barely able to koep even with the influx of water, aud could not havo done so had tho cargo boon lose buoyant. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE BIORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THB ~ "FUNNY" MEN OF THE PRESS., I -J* ' Lost'in the Shuffle—ln a Bicycle Shop His Exact State or Health—l'Uo '• Instalment Plan, Etc., Etc. ' Up from the cradle oame a wail. At first a pensive coo, Into a weird, vociferous wail Of mournfulness tt'grew. His sorrow, in a vein prolix, He straggled to reveal, "My father's talking politics! And mother rides a whuel. Thoy say I'm cross, I'm simply sad At boin<> slighted so. I wish the" baby-carriago fad Conld somehow got a show, How oan you blame one in my fix For sotting up a squeal? My father's talking politic-. And mother rldos a wheel." —Washington Star. IN A BICYCLE SIIOP. "Whoro's your repair department?" ! "What's tho matter with your wheol?" "Whool's all right. Matter's with me."> ■ HIS EXACT STATE OF HEALTH. '* Mamma—"Don't you feel well enough to go to school?" Bobbie—"No, inamma;X just feel well enough to rido my bioycle."— Harper's Bazar. THE INSTALMENT PLAN. "Now, I'm engaged at last; it took Mr. Harrington threo nights to pro pose." "Is ho so bashful?" "Not at all; ho stutters."—Chicago Record. OVERSTOCKED. "Is thoro much poetry sent in to tho editor?" tho caller asked of tho office boy. "Poetry?" replied that intelligent young man. "The editor has poetry to bum."—Omaha Bee. PITY HIM. Great drops of perspiration stood on tho young man's brow. "I havo it!" ho oxolaimed sudden ly, as away out of his perplexity seemed to open beforo him. "But no!" ho added despairingly a moment lator. "That will not do, either!" He rose and walked to tho window. 'The gay, thoughtless multitude passing and repassing outside, intent upon its own pleasures and oblivious of the suffering, the hoadaoho and the desolation that blight so many human lives, seemed morel y to mook his mis ery and deepen the gloom that per vadod tho apartment. Ho turnod away from tho window with a groan, threw himself into a chair, loarued wearily on the little table in front of him, and buried his faco in his hands. "Iminnot! Oh, I cannot!" he mur mured in a broken voice. "I givo it up!" He was a campaign poet, trying to find a rhyme for "McKinley and Hobart." —Chicago Tribune. ' HOW HE KNEW THE TIME. Patrick was lying in bed in a hos pital. He had boon brought iu% few days before after a severe fall from tho top story of a building on which he had boen working. With all his suf fering ho nevor lost his cheorful spirits, and livened up many of tho other patients with his bright romarks and short stories. Tho dootor hap pened along, and asked him how ho felt, "Fairly woll, doctor; this right log of inoiue is a very uugratoful spalpeen consitherin' that it wuz only broko in wnn place whin it moight have been smashed in a dozen." "How did yon fall, Patrick?" I asked. "Did you lose your hond?" "Faith, no; sure it was mo footin' oi lost." "What timo did it hippon !" "Well, oi wnzn't so sure before I fell, but t wuz tbinkin' comiu' down thit it wuz near dinner hour, an' oi wuz convinced of that samo as oi passed the second story, fer oi saw the peoplo in there atiu' dinner."—Hur por'a Round Table. MODEST REQUEST. "I don't ask you to remove your hat, miss," plaintively spoke tl.o little man in the seat behind her, "but if you will kindly refrain from wabbling yonr head I will take it as a favor. I am used to tho high hat, but I am not accustomed to tho wabble, and it con fuses mo and obstructs my view of the gentleman in tho orchestra who per forms on tho kettle drum." "Sir!" l "Thank you, miss, I don't mind the high hat, but I confess the wabble did bother me a little. Ever so much obliged. I cun see him quite distinctly now." "Sir, I "I beg yon won't apologize, miss. It was entirely inadvertent on yonr part, I am sure, and—" "If you say another word I'll call the usher." "Bless yon. miss, that will not bo nocessary! lam acquainted with all the ushers. Any of them would bo glad to oblige ino by asking the gentleman who operates tho kettle drum to movo a little to tho right, so as to givo me a bettor view of him, but I can soe him with perfect ease, now, thanks to your haviug qnit—" "Usher!" "I'll call him for you, miss. Hero, Jerry!" "I am eutiroly capablo of calling him, sir! lam going to ask him to bring the manager of tho hall!" "I assure yon, miss, that wili not be necessary, either. The manager iB my son-in-law. He will merely instruct tho ÜBher to—ah, thanks !" For the young woman, trembling with indignation, had removed the I hat.—Chicago Tribune.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers