According to Hamilton W. Mabie, the "Scarlet Letter" and "Pembroko" are tho best American novels. Manchester, England, is about to orect an equestrian stntuo to Sir Uliarles nalle, the musical conductor, who never mounted a horse in his life. William E. Gladstono is not a hu morist, but he recently remarked with a smile that ho would bo out of tho fashion entirely if ho did not learn to rido a bicycle. A curious fact in connection with tho bicycling habit, noted by the New York Mail and Express, is that tho wheel is always tired and the wheel man never is; yet they invariably cover tho same distance. Some of tho agricultural papers aro urging some persons in each neigh borhood of farmers to purchase a good spraying outfit and then an nounce his willingness to spray for his neighbors at moderate rates. Tho suggestion is a good one, and tho Bos ton Cultivator believes such a person could build up a considerable trade. The London Truth is making war on tho "snowball" method of collecting money for charities. It seems to bo tho same system which in this country is known as tho "chain letter," and has proved an intolerable nuisance. Tho particular "snowball" winch arouses Truth's iro is ono started by a Mrs. de Mcsqnita to raise funds for Guy's Hospital. The narrow Baltic soas have a worso record for wrecks than any other por tion of tho globe. The annual num ber of such casualties exceeds one a day, ranging from 125 to 151, and in one-half of these cases all tho crows wero lost. In tho four years from 1877 to 1881, no less than 700 lives were lost there. There is a great future for the beef trade in tho United States, maintains tho Silver Knight. Wo know of nothing faithfully and scientifically followed up that will bring in better all round results thau raising beef cattle, really first-class animals. But they must bo first-class. Tho day when Americans will put up with tough and stringy meat has gone by. Walter Besant has been examining into tho names of English women in tho early centuries, and finds that tho most popular wero such as are most in use to-day. Alice, Agnes, Isabella, Sybil, Edith, Lucy, Beatrice, Matilda, Amy, Agatha, Anun, Mary, Eva, Felicia, Helen, Mabel, Muriel, Mar garet, Ida, Katharine, Emma, BOKO, Sarah, as woll as somo that have dropped out of common use. Daniel Chester French has attained the distinguished honor of being tho first American artist to whom permis* sion has been granted to erect an out door statue in Europo. Tho statuo will bo of Georgo Washington, and will cost $20,000. A group of American women formed themselves into tho Washington Memorial Association, and after raising tho necessary funds secured tho consent of tho municipal authorities of Paris to crcct a statuo in French capital on Ruo Washing ton. bays tho Philadelphia Inquirer; Word comes from Nebraska that tho reputed cures effected by Schlatter, tho licaler, through tho laying on of hands, havo turned out to bo no cures at all. When anything was really tho matter with tho workings of tho phy sical machinery tho distressing symp toms have returned, and it is even said that a number of persons who thought that thoy had been licaled by Schlatter and whoso wonderful restoration to health was announced all over tho United States aro now in their graves. Is the frightful drouth that has doc imated Australia and much of the Southern Hemisphere tho past six or eight months likely to bo compensat ed for by a similar drouth in this part of tho world this present summer? This question the America! Agricul turist submitted to Professor Willis L. Moore, Chief United States Woather Bureau, who replies: "Tho most exhaustive examination of rain fall statistics that has been mado in re cent years shows that a period of de ficient rainfall in ono section of the globe is not balanced by a period of excessive rainfall in some other por tion. On the coutrtry, tho evidence tends to tho boliof that years of de ficient rainfall aro general over tho greater portion ot the Northern Hemi sphere, at least. Many more yoars of observation at points well distributed over the earth's surfaco are needed, however, before wo can arrive at any definito conclusion respecting rainfall periodicity." WHEELS AND WHEELERS. Pr VE K Y indication points to a revolu tion in motion lieing brought about by the advent of the bicy cle. A cardinal fea ture in the develop ment of wheeling is 1 the husbanding and effective utilization of every unit of power, and this has brought the value of ball bearings promi- 1 nently and general- : ly to the attention j of those who make and use all manner of . human appliances for the control of mo tion. People are beginning to realize what J they have been losing by friction, and the j extent to which the use of ball bearings is being applied is wonderful. They will be used in street cars, effect a saving of thousands of dollars in power, and con tribute much to the ease of the car's movement. One provided with ball bear ings that was lately built could be pulled with a string when on a level road, so nearly devoid of friction had it been made. Hall bearings v. ill bo used ex tensively in machinery, and in many plants have already been introduced. They are coming to be used in fine carriages, and their use in higher class road vehi cles will become general when the motor carriage shall have become a familiar object upon our highways. Steel balls that cannot be crushed with less than 7,o<K> pounds pressure may be purchased so cheaply that bicycle manu facturers leave their production to special factories. The making of these little ; essentials to rapid movement is not a complex process, lmt it is nil exact one. for the tiny spheres of hard metal must not yield to wear or pressure. A long rod of special steel is fed into an automatic turning machine, from which the halls drop at the rate of eleven a minute. Then they are hardened and placed in quanti ties between large plates which by revo- | bit ion polish them down to absolute tini- ' fonnity in size an I perfect roundness of figure. The grade of a wheel depends on the quality and workmanship of the bearing parts fully as much as upon the perfection of the balls. All wheels are not alike in this respect, for some of the cheaper ones are only "ease hardened," making tho machine liable to give way to wear in a comparatively short time. The material of the best bearing parts is crucible test steel, known also as "tool steel,' and tho foreman of a factory visited declared that the metal was r i' such a quality that it might he heated in a stove, and after bo ng dropped into cold water be of hardness sufficient to cut glass. All factories which attempt something more than the mere AN ELECTRIC BICYCLE. ! assembling of parts turn out their own | cups and other bearings, and many eon , struct the machinery with which they are made. They also manufacture their ovyn cranks, spiders, sprockets and hubs from drop forgings purchased from high ! class foundries, of which quite a number ! exist in different parts of the country. I The big "barrel hub" which is now in I vogue has been called merely a freak of I fashion, and an opportunity for the in* I traduction of "something new" in the I make-up of the new season's wheel pro- I duct. But there was better cause than ! this for its use; one is that by the greater 1 diameter the huh is itreugthened and not j so liable to bend under trying circum stances, while another is that the balls ! may be in better alignment, which eon i tributes much to the easy-running powers jof a machine. The whole hub, including I the rim, is turned down from a cylinder ••f drop forgings, the work being done I in part by hand, and in part automatical- I ly. One turning machine will cut from ninety-three to ninety-seven a day. All the cutting machinery of a bicycle factory j is lubricated by copious streams of lard oil. The machinists receive about $2.50 ! a day. | A very few only of the bicycle factories : of the country draw their own tubing, I and the establishments in which this car dinal part of a machine's structure is pro duced are not nuinerou.i, though capital ists are preparing to add to the number shortly. Some of the best known are in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania and Ohio. The metal from which tubing is made Is not produced in America yet, for a quality of ore of particular fitness, prepared with especial skill, is essential. The billets come mostly from Germany and Sweden. The process of drawing is a wonderful one. A hollow cylinder, about three inches thick and about three feet long, is stretched between powerful tongs by sheer mechanical force to a length of over lot) foot by repeated bisection:* and further stret. liing. The billet is cold when clasped by the tongs, better results being obtained in this way than by heat ing. The interior orifice of tho billet is made to remain the same as that of the finished tubing, while being drawn, by the insertion of a mandrill. Until re- T NOTICE TO I KEEP TO "THE RWHT eently tho short cylinder was made by I roiling around a mandrill, but now the I core is punched out by powerful mnchin j cry. The mills keep the exact process j When ready for tho market tho tubing is in lengths of ton feet or more. The j factories cut it up for use in lengths re quired. adjusting together in a frame by ' drilled drop forgings (though often by a ! cheaper device), or by an ingenious inte rior connection just devised; bending to make the handle bars; or flattening to make the forks. I To facilitate the work of tho frame maker and to insure absolute uniformity in the adjustment, the tubing and drop forge connections are joined in an irou i Jig, and while in this Jacket holes are ! drilled into the tubing for the introduction of stay pins. Then the frame is ready ( for brazing, and for this is subjected to • a blue-green gas flame, intensely hot. The frames then pass into the sand-blast room, where the scales on the frames produced during the process of brnzing are remov ed by a stream of air and sand. The con nected tubing is next filed, polished, enam eled and baked, when it is ready for the assembly room, i A large proportion of the wire works of the country make bicycle spokes. They are made of piano wire, nud the right kind are tested to immense strains. A trouble which has been encountered is the j crystallization and breaking of the steel where bent for attachment at the hub. ; In some wheels this trouble has been elim | inn ted by an ingenious device by virtue j of which the spokes need not be bent, and yet are tangents. About every city of consequence has one I or more cabinet works where wood rims j may bo obtained. A square piece of sea soned wood, of requisite length and thick ness, is bent into circular form in hot THE LATEST NOVELTY IN WHEELS. steam, and the ends dovetailed together. Then the rim is turned out, a special groove being cut on the outside over the joint. In that groove a strip, or rather ! three strips of wood are laid, and like the dovetail joint, are glued fast. The grain of the inner strip is at right nn gles to the upper and lower strip. These add strength to the joint. The holes for the spokes are drilled at the bicycle fac tory. The very essential rubber tires are formed from flat material in a mold. This j is true of the thin inner tubes as well aH of the tough outer casing. It is declar ed that the use of single tubes is greater for the present season than for previous ones. The only bicycle patents now in force are those covering specialties. Approxi mately 1,000 "makes" of wheels are at present produced in the United States. Some, a very few of the great establish ments, where nearly 100,000 mounts are placed on the market annually, them selves manufacture nearly every part which goes into the construction of the machine. But the vast majority of fac tories purchase nearly every part from some special source, machining tho drop forgings, and fitting and finishing the partly prepared material. Ten thousand dollars, a machine dealer informed the writer, would equip such a factory, while a bicycle dealer stated that $3,000 would suffice for a good start. One master me chanic is needed. With the steady and tremendous de mand for wheels, and tho prices at which they continue to be listed, the incentive to a launch into the business of bicycle making is showing its results in the mar velous increase in the number of fac tories, and in the capjacity of those that are established. About 1,000,000 wheels will be plneed upon the market and prob ably sold this summer, representing an outlay by wheelmen of over $50,000,000. How soon the revolution in prices will come is a matter of much speculation among riders. A representative of one factory stated that it would not be inside of two years. The cost to the manufac turer is believed by many, on grounds satisfactory to themselves, to ho between $lO and S2O. Those handsome catalogues and a vigorous policy in advertisement add quite an increment, and allowance must be made for the guarantee. The wholesale dealer—the houses representing tho factory in different sections of the country—conies in fir a good share, while the retail dealer makes only 25 to 35 per cent. Another effect of the bicycle's advent is UMBRELLA HOLDER. the appearance of rubber tires on car riages. The most important, of course, is the effective impulse given to the good road movement. Bicycle Flirtation. Scorching—l do not care for your so ciety. Nervous glance from corner of left eye —Are ray gaiters buttoned? Down hill with both feet off the pedals —I am considered a little fast. Turning first one way and then the other—What are your intentions? A wrecked wheel and a girl in tears- Yon have made a mash.—Judge. Hiding straight ahead with confident air -This is my own wheel; I never rent. Determined effort to view tho hack of the neck—ls my hind wheel on straight? Long skirt concealing tho feet—Yes, thank you; the folks in Chicago are all well. Wliecling Ktiqucttc. Wheeling etiquette is not yet in a very advanced stage, although a few rules have been laid down. A gentleman should never mount until tho lady with whom he is riding is set tled in her saddle. Then ho may mount and follow her. When practicable they should ride abreast, the lady always on the right side. When a narrow road makes this impossible, the lady should go ahead so that her escort may know at once should any danger menace her. At the conclusion of a ride, the gentle man should first dismount, that he may relieve his companion of her wheel as soon as she has jumped from it. But a gentleman should never assist a lady to 1 mount. Such a thing would be very dis < j tasteful to the independent spirit of a . wheel woman, j While chaperons are not considered necessary by high-spirited American girls, it Is certainly good form for a young lady to lie accompanied by a more elderly mein > her of her sex. | In cycling, ns in everything else, leap year entertainments lmve crept in. In tandem riding a lady always sits in front, but now faddists would have us reverse ( this order of things. Thnt usage, of course, will he discontinued nfter leap year, when normal conditions will once ■ more be in vogue. Notes of the Wheel. Michael, the European champion, uses 1 a wheel genrei to 112 inches. | It is reported that ten tandems have been sold in 1896 for every one sold in 1895. I A one-legged bicyclist in eastern Maine is riding fifty miles a dny in a tour across j the country. I The value of the wheels stolen in Eng land lust year, ns reported by the police, . amounted to S6O,(XX). A bicycle thief in Australia was sen ; tenced recently to three years at hard labor for stealing a wheel. Someone has invented a saddle, nnd a pneumatic one at thnt, that is located in the sent of the knickerbockers. A bicycle Is n good deal like a baby. A man is opposed to it on general principles until he lias one of his own. A cyclist in Bedfordshire, England, has had his machine shattered under him by lightning, while he escaped unhurt. It is now a misdemeanor to throw upon any road in New York State glass,tacks or any sharp substance likely to injure bicycle tires. In the Circuit Court at Grand Rapids, Mich., Judge Adsit has decided that a i bicycle is personal property nnd not sub i ject to execution. I Cnnvns cloth, fine woven wire and tnn -1 ned rawhide, put together nnd vulcanized, 1 constitute material for a new tire which j has just been patented. An Englishman named Jefferson has ! started on n 0,000-mile bicycle ride to Ir ! kutsk, Siberia. His machine and bag gage weigh sixty pounds. The San Francisco aldermen have en | acted nn ordinance which prohibits chil j dren under 0 years of age riding or being taken out on a bicycle by their parents. The wife of Senator-elect Foraker of Ohio and her three daughters are enthu- A WARNING. siasts on tho bicycle. They will take their wheels with them to Washington when the Seuator's official term begins. TOO FOND OF MONKEYS. A Huge Python Swallows One that Wan Attached to a Chain. An aniinnl store In Williamsburg, N. Y., was recently tlio scene of u tragic affair, the suicide of n huge python. During the night the monster reptile broke out of his box nnd swallowed a frisky monkey thnt was chained in a cage set close to the celling. The python, in common with the other great constricting snakes, has tho peculiarity that lie can swallow an object of great size, but cannot re linquish anything. If lie swallows a tin can lie Is obliged to keep it. The Jaws are Joined by very elastic carti lage, which permits them to open to a great width, but the sharp teeth all point backward toward tho throat, and nothing can pass out between them. The python had caught the chained monkey, killed nnd quickly swallowed him. Then he tried to move away, and found himself held by a stout ?|j§f A PYTHON THAT HANGED ITSEI.F. 1 chain. Ho struggled violently nnd ' thereby caused himself to choke more quickly. The torn nnd bruised condi tion of Ills body showed thnt he had dnshed himself furiously ngnlnst sur , rounding objects. Gray Hair Frozen Black. Dr. George W. Griffiths reports the ease of a man 05 years of age, who had had gray hair for eight years; for three ' years ills hair had been perfectly white, i He was exposed one night to severe cold, and his eyebrows nnd whiskers got wet nnd were frozen stiff; it was j found next day thnt Ills hair had turned I black.—ropular Science. SAVED BY A DESPERADO. A CATTLEMAN'S REASON FOR RE MEMBERING "BILLY THE KID." Threatened IVith Death by a Cowboy for Refusing to Dance, tlio Out law Comes to the Rescue. TV MOS PENDLETON, a South / \ western cattleman, onco met f*f\ Billy tlio Kid, the notorious <C desperado, under peculiar circumstancos. Says Mr. Pendleton in tho Now York Sun : "It was at Tulerosn, then a half Moxican village, where ranchmen came for supplies. One of its features was a general morchandiso Btore with a sa loon attachment. As I was standing in tho store, n cowboy, just drunk enough to be thoroughly mean, came in from the saloon, and after flourish ing his pistol about and cursing things in general, selected mo as his particu lar victim. He said some uncompli mentary things to me and then or dered me to danco. Whon I tried to explain to him my objections to danc ing under compulsion, ho pointed his pistol at my feet. " 'Dance,' he commanded, growling out his words between his teeth with a nasty, grating drawl. 'Get yer feet ter goin' quick. D'ye hear?' "I was nnarmed, and I saw that he meant to shoot if I rofused, but I would not have moved at his bidding to savo my life. Ho gave me one look, grinned with his tooth shut together, and fired into tho floor closo to my feet. " 'Now, you, will you dance?' ho said. "My tompcr had como up with tho firing. " 'No,' I said, 'and no cowardly bully like you can make me.' "'Dance!' he repeated, and fired two moro shots into tho floor at my feot. Tho second bullet knocked a boot heel off and mo to the floor. But I would not stir a step. By this time a little erowd had gath ered in the store, running in from tho Btrcot nnd the adjoining saloon, and were standing round tho walls nnd counters, keeping out of range of tho glancing bullets. Had I weakened, the most of them would have voted it a funny performance; but now that it was plain that I would not be bullied, I oould see that the sympathy of the bystanders was with mo. Bnt against a cowboy playing bad man, with a smoking pistol in hand and about to shoot again, none seemed ready to take my purt. " 'Dance 1' he commanded onco more, and his pistol hammer clicked back. I knew that any shot he made might wound mo painfully, porhaps maim me for life. I looked him straight in tho oye, and saw that he was uncomfortable. Ho had reckoned that I would weaken easily, and now thut I would not he realized that ho had gone too far. He meant to carry it through, though, now that ho had started in, and I saw that ho had braced himself to shoot again. But tho hammer did not fall. A slow.Jeven voice, almost a drawl, came from the doorway in the partition between the store and saloon. " 'Put up that gnu,' it said. A young fellow, soarcoly more than a boy, stood in the doorway, with a re volver in his hand, and it was he who had spoken. It was Billy tho Kid. The cowboy did not seem to know him, but the bystanders did, nnd there was tho hush of suspenso thnt comes upon a frontier erowd when it is understood that killing is about to begin. The cowboy felt it, and I could see tho coward look come into his eyes. But he tried a bluff. " 'What aro you meddling with my shooting for?' ho blurted out defiant ly at tho young man who had spoken. His cocked pistol was still pointed at my feet. " 'Drop that pistol,' came the com mand again in tho same smooth, evon voice. The cowboy's arm dropped by his side, but ho kept his hold of tho pistol. Billy's revolver cracked from the doorway and tho cowboy's pistol clanged among the shelves at tho end of the store, shot clean from his hand. With a yell of pain and fear the cow boy jerked up his hand and looked at his bleeding fingers. They were barked and torn by tho shock and bul let, but wore all there. Tho fellow was thoroughly cowed and in terror for his life. L"'NOW you dunce,'said Billy, and tho cowboy struok up a doublo shufllo ns if ho wero thankful lor the chanco to do so. 'Faster,' came tho com mand, and tho crowd laughed and jeered tho cowboy as his foot clattered like the roll of a drum. 'Pray,' was the sudden order, and down tho follow went on his knees, and rolled out such a prayer as ho could find words to say, but it was something he was unused to, and with tho best intentions he tripped and swore. " 'Here, no blasphemy!' exclaimed Billy, and fired u shot closo by his car as a pious reminder. "He kept the bad man performing antics for a half hour or so, until tho fellow begged for mercy. " 'You shot the heel from that gentleman's boot,'said Billy, 'Take off your owu boots. Now git.' "The fellow in his stocking feet rushed for tho door whore his liorso was tied, jumped to his back and got, glad enough of the chauco to do so. The crowd oaino about me and some of the men in their rough way congratu lated me on what they called tho sand I had shown, and on the punishment that had como to my tormentor. Of course, I thanked Billy, who looked at me with a cold stare in which was a gleam of recognition. " 'l'vo seen you before,' he said. 'Down in the llosario. You needn't toko tho trouble to thank me.' He smiled slightly, showing u gleam of the two largo front upper teoth that gave a savage expression to his smile. 'I didn't eall the fellow down on your account, though I wouldn't mind | helping you out. 'Twos to oinoh old Cliisum that hires him ; I've a grudge against him, and ovorybody that works for him. "Billy had served for Chisum, the great cattlo maD, in the Lincoln County wars, and ho claimed that the old man had not paid him as agreed. So it WBB understood that he was wait ing to squaro accounts after his own fashion, and Chisnm's lifo was not re garded as a safo insurance risk while the young outlaw was alive." A Tree That Stings". Thero has lately been added to tho collection of plants in tho Botanio Gardens at Madras, India, a specimen of a strango tree. It is in size scarcely moro than a bush, but other indi viduals of its spocios oro known to have attained in their hnbitnt in the Himalayas, Burmah and the Malacca Peninsula, tho dimensions of a large tree, from fifty to seventy-five feet in height. Tho Madras speoimcn is sur rounded by a strong railing, whioh bears the sign "Dangerous—all per sons are forbiddon to touch the leaves or branches of tho tree." It is, therefore, a forbidden tree in the midst of tho garden, but no one is tempted to touoh it, for it is known to bo a "burning tree." The name is a misnomer, for tho tree stings rnther than burns. Bcnoath the leaves nro stings comparablo to those of nettles, which, when touched, pierce tho skin nnd secret a fluid which certainly has a burning effect. The sting lenvos no outward sign, but the sonsation of pain persists sometimes for mouths, and is especial ly keen on damp days, or when the place which has been wounded is plunged in water. Tho natives in tho part of Burmah where thiß tree grows are in Buoh torror of it that they fly in haste when they percoive tho pecu liar odor which it exhales. If thoy liappeu to touch it they fall on tho ground and roll oyer on tho earth with shrieks. Dogs touched by it yelp and run, biting and tearing tho part of their bodies whioh has been touched. A horse which has come in contaot with a "burning tree" ran like a mad thing, biting everything and every body that it could reach. A mission ary at Maudalay who investigated a leaf of the plant with his forefinger suffered agony for several weeks, and (or ten mouths felt occasional darting pains iu his finger.—London Tit-Bits. The Value of Monitors. It is gratifying to find that at least half a dozen, nnd probably more of the old monitors that have been laid up and out of commission ever sinco the war are still in good condition and can bo put iu first-class fighting trim at small cost and without much delay. Nine of these vossels, the Nahnnt, Jason, Janonicus, Makopac, Man hattan, vVyandotto, Montauk, Catskill and Lehigh, which are now at the League Island Navy Yard, were re cently examined by a board of naval officers with a view to ascertain their exact condition, and the report of the board is to tho effect that tho majority of them can bo mado efficient. Two others of the old fleet, tho Ajax and Nuntuoket, havo been loaned for naval militia purposes to Now Jersey and North Carolina, while the Comanche is at Mare Island, Cal., and the Passaio is at Boston. This oomprised the fleet of thirteen monitors built in 18(52 at a cost of about $0,700,000. They are not quite so largo as our six modern monitors of the Miantonomah and Monterey type, being only single screw vessels, and of five to six knots speed, while tho latter nro twin screw and of doublo the power, but they aro strong and serviceable for harbor de fense purposes, which is a great de sideratum in the present condition of our scaooast fortifications, and if equipped with modern bntterios thoy might prove much moro efficacious than land forts. Tho moderate cost at which they can bo overhauled and made available for rocommission will, therefore, it is hoped, bo promptly undertaken by tho Navy Department, nnd tho Nation will have tho satisfac tion of profiting a great deal thoreby. —Marino Journal. Peculiar Island. Nirrafon, the voloanio "ring" island recently described by Lieutenant Somerville in the Journal of tho Lon don Geographical Socioty, is a lonely spot midway between Fiji nnd Samou. It is about three miles in external diameter, ana tho entire coaßt lino is formed of black lava rooks. Tho internal diamotor—that is to say, the diameter of the "caldera"—iH two miles, and tho cliff's surrounding it aro 200 or 300 feet high. It contaius a deep, oalm lako, on tho eastern sido of which is a peninsula formed by tho craters of the eruption of 1886. The view from the summit of the cliffs around tho "caldera" is of romarkable beauty, and includes a groat expanse of tho Pacific Ocean rolling under tho southeast trado, us well as tho still deep lake within, tho luxuriant foli age of the outer slope, and tho barren cinder cones of the recont outburst. — London Globe. (hunting the Motes iu a Sunbeam. Lecturing at the Institution of Civil Engineers on atmospheric dust, Mr. Fridlander said that observations show that at an elevation of 6700 feet there are 950 dust particles in a cubio centi metre, while at 8100 feet thero are only 513, and at 13,600 only 157 dust particles. Over tho Indian Ocean tho average number of dust partioies a cubio contimetre was less than 500 for seven out of nino days, and on five days was less than 400. During a thick fog in the Atlantic, the air con tained 3120 dust particlos a cubic oen timetre, while in the clear region just boyoud the fog there were only 280 dust partioies.—Wesmiuster Gaxette. Heat expands nnd cold contracts; but there are exceptions. Coal and gas bills are larger In winter than in sum mer.—Norrlstown Herald. Dukane—l never believe the things I hear in a barber shop. Gaswell—Why not? Dukane—lt is all hair-say.— Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. "Louise, where does the intellectual exercise come In in playing whist?" "Oh, in getting other people to pay at tention to the game."—Chicago Record. Mother—No, Bobby; money doesn't make folks happy—but I'll tell you what does. Bobby—l know, ma; it's the stuff what you get with It.—Judge. "Don't you think that 'Charity' is a queer title for your new book?" "Not at all. Charity begins at home, you know."—Philadelphia North American. Mrs. Wlckwlre—Why don't you ever wash your face? Dismal Dawson— Don't want the sun to git a chance to spile mo complexion.—lndianapolis Journal. "After nil, man is a generous being." "Yes, lie is; I never saw a husband yet who wouldn't let some other man teach his wife to ride a wheel."—Chi cago Record. To Fit the Appetite.—"What do you charge for board?" "Do you ride a bicycle?" "Yes; what difference does that make?" "It'll be ifl more a week!" —Chicago Record. Reporter—Here's a bit of news that is a scoop. City Editor—What Is it? Reporter—The shovel manufacturers have formed a trust.—Philadelphia North American. Hipson—l.ayson is the laziest man I know. Juggles—ls that so? lllpsou —Yes. Why, that man won't even carry life insurance. Philadelphia North American. "Doctor," said the anxious mother, "William can hardly speak above a whisper." "Indeed? Has he taken cold, or did lie go to the ball game?"— Washington Star. Generally That's the Hardest of Work.—"Uncle Tom, what is executive ability?" "It's knowing how to make other people work without doing any. thing yourself."—Chicago Record. It is not the proper thing to say that a man will make a good husbaud. It is the wife who makes the good hus band. The bad ones only are the self made article.—Boston Transcript He—"You should not worry so much nbout dress. Set your mind on higher things." She—"l had set my mind on higher tilings than you seem willing to buy for me."—lndianapolis Journal. Ho—"Oh, dear! I wish I could get hold of some good biscuits like mother used to make for me!" She—"And I wish I could get some good clothes like father used to buy for me."—lndianap olis Journal. "The trees are leaving," remarked Mrs. Snaggs. "Nevertheless, they are not packing their trunks," replied Mr. Snaggs, who objected to his wife's coined verb."—Pittsburg Chronicle- Telegraph. "It's terrible," lie said, "to see the way one member of Congress after an other gets unseated." "Well," Ills wlfo answered, "it serves them right for giving in to the bicycle erase."—Kansas City Star. Lieut. Perl—"l am afraid you couldn't stand the rigor of an Arctic expedi tion. You never have been on one be fore, have you?" Travole—"No, but I have spent a winter in an English hotel."—Life. "Marry that-that " She hesitated. No word seemed strong enough to adequately express her contempt "Why, marry that—thing? Marry a man that rides a tricycle?"— Washin gton Evening Times. "Bobbie, you are perfectly awful to day; and jiiNt when grandma is visit ing us, too!" "Well, ilia, It's only to please you. You told me the other day that you thought I kept my good man ners for visitors only."—Harper's Ba zar. "But why (lid you refuse Prof. Grueli ling, Miss Melanle? lie ig such nil nblo nnd noted mathematician." "That's just the reason! He would always be mathematically demonstrating the errors of my milliner's bills,"—Humor istlelie Blaetter. "I suppose when you were In the White Mountains last summer you en joyed the echoes very much?" "No, I didn't. I went to hear them with Charlie Hlilnrd, and when they repeat ed what lie said they really bored 1110 very much."—Harper's Bazar. Courtier—"Has your majesty read the 'History of the Sixteenth Dynasty,' by the royal historian? It Is a master piece." The King of Egypt—"Truly it is, but he ought to boil it down. It is long enough to cover three pyramids, and lie knows I can't spare him uioro than one."—Truth. Mrs. Wurrey (to police captain)— "Have you found any trace of my boy? He's been away all day, and I can't Ond out anything as to ids where abouts." Police Captain—"Best easy, madam. Describe the boy nnd we'll seud a man down to the continuous per formance theater at once nnd get him for you."—Roxbury Gazette.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers