Three Irishmen represent Scottish constituencies in the' British Parlia ment. A scientific sharp has discovered an intimate connection between the per nicious habit of early rising and in sanity. Tho Attorney-General of Illinois has ruled that a building and loan associa tion has no right to borrow money to loan its members. Germans objecting to tho habit of holding the hands in tho pockets have formed a society, the Antihandiudcn hosentasehenhaltenverein. Before the present revolution Spain restricted the right of suffrage to 53,- 000 nativo Cubans, out of a total na tive pojiulation of 1,000,000, tbo ridic ulous proportion of three per cent. There are at present about 13,568,- 000 acres of forest in Maine, valued at $35,250,000. Two or threo New Eng lund States could be hidden away in Maine's woods, calculate! tho Now York Sun. Skiographs, the new designation of the Boentgen X ray pictures—which it is impossible to call photographs have nothing to do with the sky. The correct pronunciation is skee-o-grapb, accent on tho first syllable. It signi fies "shadow-writing." Bowery merchants of New York City claim that the effect of theeong, "The Bowery," has been to seriously depre ciate property values along that thor oughfare. They claim that strangers to the city believe tho words of the song, and have come to regard all business men on the Bowery as brig ands and bunco operators. Some ouo asked in tho British Honso of Commons tho other day whether any Government officer could exercise general supervision over tho poems of Alfred Austin before publication. An Irish member asked if tho Poet Lau reate was not tho successor of tho Court Jester, who was always held to bo irresponsible. Not a single man arose to defend the successor of Ten nyson. History is being made very fast in these days. Tho New York Kecorder calls attention to the fact that the Loudon press to-day is fully convert ed to the Monroe Doctrine. It was no longer ago than 1562 that the Lon don Times declared Napoleon 111. had done a great political service to the world in setting up Maximilian iu Mexico, and thereby "extinguishing tho Monroe Doctrine." The probable outcome of the Vene zuela questiou will be, according to Harper's Weekly, "surrender on the part of Great Britain," tko "chasten ing of England," the strengthening and extension of the true Monroe Doctrine, "a better stato of feeling" between the two countries', and suc cess on the part of the United States in Impressing "the rest of the world, and especially Great Britain, with that de greo of respect which is sometimes paid to thoßo who insist on their rights, reasonably or unreasonably." Says the Philadelphia Times: The most encouraging results of tho New Jersey road law are 10 0 miles of per manent road and an increasing public appreciation of the advantages of good roads. At first ouly a few counties wore willing to assumo tho cost of try ing the experiment. The number has grown in tho two years from five to fourteen, or two-thirds of the counties in tho Stale, audit is evident that pub lic opinion will demand a largo in crease of the annual State appropria tion, which up to this time has not ex ceeded SIOO,OOO. It is nut a matter for regret, main- j tains the American Agriculturist, that i the promotion of hor3e meat as an ar- j ticlo of food has proved a failuro. The Oregon packing concern which last j year began tho slaughter of range ' horses has quit the business after a ' series of unsuccessful attempts to find a market for the 7001) animals handled, beveral tons of the pickled horse meat shipped to Japan was refused and finally thrown into the ocean, and consignments to Europe met with as j chilly a reception. As long as good j beet, mutton and pork can bo secured : at such reasonable figures, both at, ' home and abroad, consumers have no ' use for llesh from broken down horses ' or wild mustang ponies. With better ' breeding and a broader market, the 1 development of the hor.-je industry is | bound to be in an entirely different ' channel. It is a fact, however, that horso meat is excellent for poultry, ! and ooustitutes tho bulk of tho poul try meat or concentrated feed that is ' largely used with such excellent re sults. SOME DAY OF DAYS. ; Some uuy. >:no day of days, treading tho street With idlo, heedless pace, Uulooking for such gnioo, I shall behold your face. Goaio day. some day of days, may thus we I meet. Perchance tho sua may shine sklcj of I May, Or wintor's icy chill Touch lightly vale and bill; What matter? I shall thrill j Through every vein with summer on that j day. 1 Oaco more life's perfect youth will all come | back. An-l for a moment there I shall stand fresh and fair. And drop tho garment care; Onco mora my perfect youth shall nothing I shut my eve.3 now. thinking how 'twill bo. How, fact to face, each soul Will slip its long control, Forgot tho dismal dole Of dreary la'.e's dark separating sea. And glance to glance, and hand to hand in greeting, Tho past, with all its fears, Its silence and its tears, Irs lonely, yearning years, Qhr.U vanish in the moment of that mooting. —Elizabeth Stuart Pholps* CUE MAJUR'sIIUSE, EV IIEUEX FORREST GRATEI. . fczsßtrv?nr. fair fominino N . g>;', society o£ Bort- VA villo was much ex- orcised in mind fmlW when Major Trix- I ou bought tho S'wfc- '' reat K^vSSllouso opposite v tho park, j Year in and year out that house had stood vacant. Hummer suns hid woven , their thrcals of light through tho I close t blinds; winter snows had piled | their white drifts against tho throsli- I old. Some said tbo honso was damp, oth ers that it was haunted, vet others shrewdly surmised that it was iii liti gation, and couldn't show a clean title. But nobody know anything for cer tain, uud when Major T'rixoa bought it, aul an avmv of decorators, masons, paintersaud upholsters took possession of it, the interest an I curiosity of l'ortvillo was ut tho culminating point. That tho major was a bachelor was very certain. That ho was forty years old, it' not older, appeared an incon trovertible fact. That ho was im mensely rieh, rather ecoentrie, and de cidedly in want of a wife, everybody iu town knew before the title-deeds of tbo big house had been twenty-four hours iu the possession of tho owner. "Yes," the major had averred, seri ously, when facetiously challenged on the subjeotby Mr. MilesKidoau, one ot his most intimate friends, "I do want a wife. You may chaff' about it as much as you please, but it don't alter the foot. But I want a wife, not a bundle of giggles and frizzes and Paris mill inery." "i'il introduoo you to our first young ladies," said Mr. llidoait, cheer fully, "and then you can pick and chooso for yourself." Major Trixon was silent. "A regular old bachelor," said Bi deau, to himself. "He'il never marry. Ho wants perfection, and there's no girl living that cau couio up to his standard." Tlio ladies, as a matter of course, were much interested in the bluff, brown, elderly major. Miss Serena Silver, whoso grandfather had been a commodore, and whoso genealogical treo had inoro branches than a star fish, picked out the last gray hair from licr treases, uud plumed herself for conquest. "Ide'Jl want u lady of nndisputable birth and position," slio thought. Alico Wood, tho pretty dressmaker's assistant, piuued on uu extra blush rose as sho tripped to and fro to her work past the windows of the Brown House. "The old story of King Cophetua and tho beggar maid is always repeat ing itself," she thought. "And I'm not quite a beggar." Wnile all the beauties in Portville brightened up their armor uud pre pared to enter tho lists. Major Trixon wont into society, and society was puzzled to know what to make of him. "Twelve thirls!" said Gertrude May, holding up her hands in dis may. "Twelve shirts I"echoed Mrs. Lacey, who was a pretty widow on promo tion "But, my dears," said Mrs. Hedge, tho mother of two dimpled, velvet eyed beauties, "you must bo mis taken !" "We're not, mamma," said Bertha. "ilo really did say so, mumsey," declared Ida. "Yoti see, Mrs. Hedge," explained Erminin Bruce, "ho has founded a hospital or poorhouso or something out West, and ho wants a box made up to send to tho poor people there. Ami bo lias nskod the young ladies here abouts to coutributo twelve shirts— ouo each, don't you see? And they must bo made by their own bands." "So ridiculous." said Mrs. Hedge. "But old bachelors always do have their quips uud cranks," said Mrs. Lacey, complacently, as she remem bered a garment of tho late lamented Lucy's wardrobe which blio promised herself to "do up" and pass on to the Western paupers as a piece of genuine domestic manufacture. "Well, girls, you'll have to get out your work-boxes," said Mrs. Hedge. "If it was worsted-work, now," said "Or Kensington stitch," sighed \ Bertha. "But shirts! Who ever heard of shirts?" said Gertrude. "However, wo must all try. A rich old bachelor is worth a few pinched lingers, eh, girls?" But Erminia Bruce, who had no liking lor plain needlework, looked with disgust as the Wamsutta muslin, the card of buttons and tho compact paper patterns on her table. "1 haven't time for it," said she to herself, "if I practice that sonata for tho Thursday evening's musical. I'll put it out, aud the major will never know that I didn't make it myself. A Bhirt, indeed! Why, he'il bo expoct iug us to scrub floors and make soft soap next. The Brown House is very nice, but 1 mean to be lady of it, with out auy of this odious dludgeiy." So Miss Bruce, who was tall, with a superb complexion, flashing black eyes aud a lignro like Diana's own, rolled up tbo obnoxious materials and carried them to a little house around tho corner, where a pale, dove eyed ycung woman, uo longer in her iirst youth, sat at her sewing. "Agatha," said Miss Bruce, curtly, "I want a shirt made. Very nieelv, now. And you mast mako it cheap; do you hear?" Agatha Fontaine looked up wist fully. "But, Erminia," said she, "I am very much hurried just now. If you eouid wait a week —" "Very well," said Miss Brace, with a toss of her imperial head. "Then I'll tako my material elsewhere. It's always the way with you suffering poor! If one takes you work, you won't do it, aud then you come and tod us ail sorts of stories about your privations. But, mark my words, Agatha, if you rofuso to oblige mo now, I'll never employ you ngaiu !" Miss Fontaine sighed softly. Five years ago sho and Erminia Bruce had shared the same room in Madam de Froulignae's fashionable boarding Gohool, and were inseparable friends. But poor Harmon Fcutaino bad failed in business, nul recklessly drawn a rnzor across his throat, and hero was Agatha toiliug for her daily bread, no less than to support a delieato mother and a liftio brother who was ailing with spinal complaint. And Erminia had listened with a patronizing air to Agatha's humble request for work. "I'll see what I cau do for you," sho had said, slipping the rich rings carelessly up aud dowu hr lingers. "But amateur needlework is uever quite up to the mark. Uowever, if you will consider that in your charges—" 'Twill endeavor to work well and cheaply," said Agatha, meekly. Aud after she was gone Erminia laughed exultantly. "It's a regular stroke of good luck for us, mamma," said she. "Broken down gentry always work well, and at quarter prices!" Aud so, when sho turned coldly away upon this ooeasion, Agatha made haste te detain her. "Leave the work, Erminia," said she. "It is true that lam very much hurried jus', at present, but you have been very kind to mc, and I would not wittingly disoblige you." "It must bo baud made," said Miss Bruce, unrolling her parcel, "and very neatly, mind, and I will pay you flfty coats." "Fifty cents!" echoed poor Agatha. "Our usual cliurgo is—" "I dou't caro anything about your usual obargo!" said Erminiu, impa tiently. "If you can't do it for flfty cents, you needn't do it at all." Aud sho rustled out of tho roam, leaviug a strong odor of "Bouquet do Caroline" behind her. "Xsu't it strange?" said Agatha to herself, in a sort of sotto voce. "Isn't what strange?" said n pleas ant voieo from tho adjoining room, where Major Trixon was sitting by Hal I-'outaine's sick bed. "This is tho third shirt I have had brought mo to-day to make," said Agatha, "uud all in a hurry. X shall have to sit up until midnight every night to finish them." "Indeed !" said Major Trixon. "One is from Mies Ida Hedge and one from her sister Bertha," said Agatha; "and now Miss Bruce—" "Miss Bruco, eh?" said tho major. "Can't sho mako licr own shirts, with out briuging them here?" "I don't know!" sighed Agatha. ".•iho was tho haughty young wo man, I suppose, who was domineering over you just now?" "Yes," acknowledged Agatha. "Not that she means to be unkind, but—" "No, no—of course not!" said Major Trixon, drily. "Only that sho treats you us if you belonged to au in ferior race of creatures." As bo spoke bo stooped over tho Vied and lifted the pillows, so as to alter tho invalid's position. "Is that any easier, my little man?" said he. "And now that tho doctor is here, I will leave you for awhile." "indeed, sir," said poor Mrs. Fon taine. "you aro very kind!" "Kind?" ho repentod, brusquoly. "Nothing of the sought. Kind? Ought wo not all to bo kind to each other? And now good evening!" "So," said he, "these uro the shirts?" And with a delicito pencil ho drew a tiny cross iu. bluo lead upon each one. "These are what you call tho neck bindings, aren't they?" said be. "That mark will do no knrm. Koe, it is so small that no one would notice it hut ourselves. I only want to identity these articles if I should ever sco them again. Good evening, Miss Agatha! Mind you don't set too close at your needle." And tho major took his brown face and sturdy, tall figure out of tho twi lit room. The shirts cutno to the Western packing-box in due time. Major Trix on eyed them critically. "My old mother used to say," said lie, "that a well-made shirt was tlio criterion of a woman's ability to inako a good wife. These shirts are dis graces to tho Portville girls—all ex cept three, and each ono of tho thred is marked with a tiny blue cross on tho inside of the neck binding." And Major Trixon chuckled as ho packed the shirts into the big wooden box. He met Miss Brtioo on tho favorite promenade an hour cr so subsequent ly. She smiled sweetly into his face. "I hope you were suited with tho shirt, major," she said. "It was beautifully made,"ho an swered. "I can assuro you," sho simpered, "that 1 worked most diligently upon His dark eyes seemed for n minute to read hor very soul. She blushed, aud turned her faco away. "Can he know," sho thought, "that I scut itto MissFontaineto bo made?" Tho velvet-eyed Iledgo twins were not fur off; they advanced to meet him, with cherry cheeks and plumed hats to match. "Oh, Major Trixon," said they, "did you get tho shirts? And did you find cut that wo didn't make 'em at ail? Mamma would bu horrified if she know that wc told you. But wo couldn't got the gussets und the gores right, and wo pricked our lingers and lost our tempers." "And so you sent thorn to Miss Fontaine, eh?" laughingly quc3tionod the major. "How did you know?" said Ids, with wide-opou eyes. "But don't toll mamma," added Bertha. "Oh, I know a good many things," said tho major, smiling. "And Ins sure you that your secret is quite safe with inc." AgathaFontainewas walking ab3oni ly ulong, with her oyes lixod on tho ground. Sho scarcely saw the major, until ho paused in front of her ; thou her cheek kindled into sudden fire. "Major Trixon !" sho eriod. "i'ho very one I wanted to see." "Can I bo of any service, Mis 3 Fontaine ?" "The doctor's bill," she said, eolor iug. "It is so much more than wo expeotod; and—aud if you would lend us u little, Major Trixon, I should bo so glad to repay it in sewiug." "I will lend you tho monoy, Mi is Fontaine," ho said ; "but as for suw ing—" 'Tour housekeeper may find some thing for me to do," said she, wist fully. lie turned. "Let mo walk along by your side," said he. "Let mo tell you, Miss Fontaiue, how closely I havo studied your character since first ltido.au took mo to your sick brother's bodsido. Let mo confess to you how dearly I havo learned to love 3-011 —how truly to respect your noble nature. lam a rough, bru3qno oil follow; I know, but I belicvo I could make you banpy if you would but allow ino to hope lor your love." "But. me?" cried she, broatlilossly—• "me, who am but a poor sewiug girl 1" "I lovo you," lie said, simply. "I could do no more than tha' if you were a crowned queen." So bo married bcr, and tha onoo poverty-stricken family live in tho Brown House now, oppoiiio the park, whoro hothouse llowers scent tlio rooms, aud birds sing to amuse tlio crippled boy, whilo every luxury smooths his cariv saddened path. Aud Miss Ermiiiiu Bruce never knew that her deceit about the speciul unit of the twelve shirts, which had fallen to her lot, was the straw which turned tko current of Major Trixon's fancy, lie lilted and altuirod her before; 110 could never do so agniu. And Agatha Fontaine was no good an 1 innocent and true! And, above all things, a wife's naturo must bo true. At least so reasouod the major, and ho wai no me 111 judge of human nature.—Saturday Night. A Nihilist Tragedy, Two years ago a Polish Count, who had joiuel n Nihilist club in Po land, was arrested by the Ktissiau au thorities aud transported to the north ernmost region of Siberia. Hero ho was told to till a snow covered plot of ground or die, as seemed best to him. Tlio Count, who had never done uuy other political wrong than enrolling hiH unnio us a member of nu illegal in stitution, decided to attempt to es cape", and for a year he tamped through Siberia and ltussia, liable nt any moment to be shot ou sight, until he reached a neutral country. It is the custom of the cottagers in Siberia to place a littlo foo l and drink oat side their windows for fugitives, and also to leave their barns open for them to sleep in. These courtesies, offered at tho risk of losing their lives, en abled tho Count to keep body and soul together until ho snooeeedod in escap ing, when ho forthwith started (or Condon, where he and his wifo have since been living reduced to great pov erty. The sufferings of that torriblo journey exhausted his constitution, and he died recently, fow knowing the great trials that tho poor outlaw had endured.—Now York News. Ceicry Oil. This is a now industry which Ger many is endeavoring to foster. Dis tillers ol essential oils have experi mented with tho distilling of celery during tho past season, producing a few poundp. It is distilled from tho green leave?, possesses the powerful aromatic odor and tasto of tho plant, and may arouse considerable interest among manufacturers of concentrated soups and preserved meats and vege tables. It requires 100 pounds green leaves to make one pound of oil. If it proves feasible to distill celery for Jlavoring purposes, why not utilizo other herbs in tho same manner for like purposes? POTATOES IN 1896, The year 1800 is a red-letter year for vegetable growers. It marks the tri centenary of the introduction of the potato to civilized man. Sir Walter Raleigh, who had a hand in most tilings in those days, did the introduc ing. In the days when Sir Walter hud to do with it the potato was not the everyday vegetable which it lias since become. Sir Walter planted the first one, omitting appropriate ceremonies, on his estate at Younghal, near Cork. It took at once. It had not only found its favorite soil but it had discovered its chosen people. Nothing could have vecn better suited to the laud. It was the custom of the people, whenever a force large enough to make it practi cable could be got together, to make raids upon the territory of their neigh bors. The O'Brodar harried the lands TIIE PEERLESS. of the O'Brien, anil us soon as the O'Brien recovered he hurried the lands of tiie O'Brodar, doing ids best to de stroy ail the food within reach of the O'Brodar family, that they might come to a proper understanding of their in iquities. The potato was hailed as a preventer of famine. Neither O'Brien nor O'Brodar could spare the time to sift carefully all the earth under the rule of the enemy, and nothing else would remove the pinnt. Such was tin; warlike beginning of the plant in Ireland, the home of its adoption. About the time that the O'Brien and O'Brodar found their occupations as creators of fumble taken from tlieiu people began to write long and learned discourses upon the now plant, us they do now 011 the X ray mid other remark able tilings. And they described it carefully, so that those who lmil never seen the plant could form some idea of its wondrous nature. "The roote is thickc, fat, and tuber ous; some of tlieni us round 11s a ball, some out] 11 or eggo fashion, some longer and others shorter; which kuobbie routes are fastened unto tlio stalks with 1111 infinite number of threddie strings." But though it attracted much atten tion, it was long before outside of Ire land the potato begun to receive popu lar approval. For more than a century it languished in obscurity in England. Little known anil less prized, it was confined to the guldens of botanists and the curious, and when used at all us food, only nt the tables of the rich, us a rare vegetable rather than us a standing ilisb. The potatoes furnished lo the table of James I. bore the high price of two shillings per pound. In liiST Wool ridge writes of the tubers: "I do not hear that it has yet been es sayed whether they may not be propa gated in greater quantities for the use of swine and other cattle." Morti mer's Garden Kaleudar for 1708 says, slightingly, "The root is very near the nature of the Jerusalem artichoke, al though not so good and wholesome, but it may prove good for swine." Several reasons, besides prejudice, may be given for this neglect. Cultivation lmd not yet improved the wild stock to its present perfection. The proper modes of cooking had not yet been hit upon. And, lastly, vegetable food of any sort was less sought after, or rather less within the reach of the mass of the people, than it is now. At present it is the übiquitous vegetable, without which 110 meal is complete. Could a member of the Royal Socie ty, which in 1(508 adopted measures for extending the cultivation of the Sol anum Tuberosum, with a view to pre vention of famine in Englund and Ire land. have accompanied a newspaper representative through the wonderful potato region of Colorado 011 a recent occasion lie must have been satisfac torily convinced that "things do move." In the beginning of the sixteenth century potatoes were brought from America to Europe for cultivation in gardens as a curiosity. Last year there was forwarded, from one section of Colorado alone, tJ.OOO carloads of "spuds," each car averaging 400 bush els. Only a few years ago, when some en terprising farmers commenced the cul tivation of potatoes, 011 what then ap peared to be a large scale, they were A COLORADO PYRAMID. heartily ridiculed. Time has proven, and only a very short time at that, the correctness and sound judgment of the level-headed grangers who fully real ized the special adaptability of the warm sandy soil, of certain portions of Colorado, to the successful production of the homely, unfashionable tuber. * While there have been in a few cases exceptionally large profits in tins in dustry in the main it has been a steady, profitable business for such men as are willing to give it attention. Idaho, Utah, and Montaua have been envious ly watching the success of Colorado in this lino, and they are now energeti cnlly competing with the gold-silver State for the trade of Kansas and Ne braska. Freight rat<ss, however, will not give them entree to the more East ern markets—east of the Missouri liver. Probably there Is no section of the agricultural world where the cultiva tion of potatoes is so simplified and systematized as in the Greeley district of Colorado. Seeing the enormous pos sibilities of this industry, an enterpris ing manufacturer of farming imple ments turned ids attention a couple of years ago to machinery for prepar ing and handling this crop in nil its stages. The result has been in the pro duction of potatoes similar to the in troduction of headers and thrashing machines in the raising of small grains —a marked decrease in the cost of pro duction. Only by the use of this machinery are the potato farmers of the far West to-day enabled to sell their product in competition with that of Illinois and Missouri in the markets of Chicago and St. Louis. They literally make a business of raising potatoes, and know ing that a too rapid continuation of crops is disadvantageous rotate their crop of potatoes from one section of the farm to another, alternating with wheat and the prolific and fertilizing alfalfa, thus insuring a constantly re curring replenishment of the light, sandy soil, which has proven so well adapted to potato growing. In the planting season one of the in genious machines above referred to is loaded with seed potatoes and started on its automatic labors across a field. It is accompanied by a wagon con taining additional "seed." With the motive power supplied by two lino Norman horses and under the supervis ion of one man this machine will plant six acres per day. The planter may be adjusted to drill, drop, aud cover in hills from ten to twenty-one inches apart, as may be most desirable. The harvest of the potato crop us ually commences about Sept. 15 and continues until the middle or latter part of October. Duiiing this season no one need complain of "no work." Men, boys, and even women and girls turn out en masse to hasten the harvest. Here, too, inventive genius holds sway. The Ingenious harvester, drawn by four powerful horses, traverses row after row and leaves in its wake glis tening lines of white and pink tubers as clean and neatly separated from their parent soil as if each had been carefully "sapoliocd" before being re leased from its earthy repository. Each "digger" is attended by a driver and from six to eight "pickers" whose busi ness it is to collect the potatoes, large and small, in baskets. These hands are paid from $1 to $1.50 per day aud board. In each section of the field is another contrivance called a "sorter," consist ing of an oscillating screen hung at an THE lIUIiHANIC. angle of thirty degrees, into which the baskets are emptied. This screen lias what is termed a two-inch square mesh. Those potatoes which will go through this mesh fall into a sack and are kept for seed the following spring. The larger potatoes roll from the screen into separate sacks, In which they are stored in peculiarly constructed cellars r "dug-outs" until conditions are favor able for marketing. These "dug-outs" are excavations in the ground varying in size according to the requirements of the crop and approximately ten feet in depth. They are roofed over almost level with the ground and provided with ventilators. To such a considerable extent has this industry grown that at Eaton and Greeley enormous warehouses have been erected for the express purpose of storing and handling potatoes. Greeley has become celebrated for her "Potato day," which is usually set for the 10th of October. On this occa sion immense trenches are dug and the succulent roots, after beiug roasted to a turn by wliite-aptoned experts, are served with appropriate accompani ments to an admiring crowd of appre ciative people only limited by the ca pacity of the grounds. During the last year there were about 2,400,000 bushels of this crop harvest ed in the northern portion of Colorado. There have been several train loads forwarded to St. Louis and Chicago, and many car loads have found their way to Interior poinls in lowa, Indiana, Tennessee, Ohio, and even as far south as Louisiana. One pyramod, which I secured a photograph of, contained ex actly forty potatoes and weighed 120 pounds. A few selected specimens weighed a trifle over seven pounds each. Wealth mid Its Distribution. Whatever may be tiie aggregate of tlie wealth of the country, and it is ad mitted that the United States is the wealthiest nation in the world, its dis tribution is very unequal according to George It. Waldron, writing on this subject in the Arena. According to Mr. Waldron, 4,000,000 families, or nearly one-third of all the families in the country, must get along on in comes of less than §4OO a year. More tbnu one-half the families (53.20 per cent.) get less than §OOO a year; two tliirds of the families (08.01 per cent.) less than §000; while nineteen-twenti etlis (05.00 per cent.) receive less than §3.000 a year. Some people seem to think that a man cannot behave himself unless he be longs to a church. "Fine feufhers do not make Due birds." But every harum-scarum Is not a prince; so hood my words. If you've Dne feathers, wear 'eui. —Harper's Weekly. "In battle musicians are always kept In the rear." "That's not fair. Many of them richly deserve killing."—Chi cago Record. "I never destroy a receipted bill, do you?" said Bunting to Giley. "I don't tiling I ever saw one," replied Giley.— Amusing Journal. "If I had your pull," said the small boy who was struggling with a large kite in a March breeze, "I could git purty high up in the world, too."—Chi cago Tribune. On the bail now keep your eye; -- Iu ii month or more You will hear the same old cry: "Mister, ivot's do score?" —Philadelphia Iteeord. "I had always been an American un til I went around a curve iu a cable car tills morning. "Wliut difference did that make?" "Then I became a Lap lander,"—Life. It. It. Otlicial—"Y'ou may not believe it, but this dining car cost $20,000." Plauetree—"How long has It been run ning?" "Just a week." "Paid for it self yet?"— Life. "I," wailed the poetic young man, "aui ever misunderstood." "Then," asked the practical girl, "why do you not try to talk United States?"—lndian apolis Journal. Jinks—"What's the cause of this twaddle about elevating the stage, I'd like to know?" Filkins—"Want to get ft above the level of the women's hats, X suppose."—Brooklyn Life. Dukane—Young SpifHns is the laziest man I ever knew. Gaswell—lndeed? Dukane—Yes, Indeed! Even when ho lias nothing to do he is too lazy to do It.—Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. "You say he is a remarkable man?" "Very." "In what way?" "He's the only scientist in the country who has not made an important discovery rela tive to X rays."—Chicago Evening Post. He went out west to find a place, Where he could have full swing, Then stole a horse in Cripple Creek And got that very thing. —New York Herald. Charley Ilarduppe—"What do you mean by sending my clothes home C. O. It? Didn't I have a running ac count with you?" Kustcm Made— "Yes. But it is all run out."—Brooklyn Life. Tall 'Shopper—"Will you please tell me how long these skirts are?" Clerk (superciliously)—" They are the regular length, madam." "Tall Shopper (meek ly)—"Ah, but I'm not."—New York Journal. Mrs. Moneybags—"Your son's extrav agance is increasing. He wants a new plaything. This time it is a stable of race horses." Mr. Moneybags—"That's nil right. I was afraid he wanted to start a newspaper."—New York Week ly. This world would bo devoid of cares; A resting place, where all is nice, If coal would hut come up the stair As smoothly as it dues the price. —Washington Star. "This is leap-year," remarked the maiden, timidly, "and I am disposed to avail myself of my sex's privilege. Mr. Tillingliast, I love you. Will you be mine?" "But can you support a husband," asked Mr. Tillingliast, anx iously.—Judge. The old family cat awoke from a nap before the lire and stretched himself in the manner common to cats. Mar gie looked at him with distended eyes. "My tloodncss!" she exclaimed; "I dess ze tat's dolu't' boll over."—Judge. "I'll kiss you for my sister's sake." "Pray don't forget yourself," she suid. I straightway took her at Iter word, And kissed her for myself instead. —Truth. "He stood at the top of the steps," she said, in telling about it afterwards, "and I mustered up enough courage to say: 'You know, this is leap year?' "Yes. What then?" "Then he leaned and I haven't seen him since."—Chicago Post. ' Perry I'atettie (in the roaa)—W'y don't you go in? De dog's nil right. Don't you see him wnggiu' his tail? Wayworn Watson (at the gate)— Yes, an' he's growliu' at the same time. 1 don't know which end to believe.—Cin cinnati Enquirer. "There's only one girl in the world for me," Is the song he was oft heard to holler; And, come to find out, the one he adored Was the girl on tile almighty dollar. —Youkers Statesman. "A fellow always feels satisfied with himself after having taken a littlo game," said the fellow coining out of the restaurant. "Well, it all depends on what kind of game he's been taking in," replied his friend, who had been out at the poker club.—Yonkers States man. Mr. Hardtack—Well, what we want is a nlghtwatchman that'll watch. Alert and on the qui vivo for the slight est noise, or indication of burglars. Somebody that can sleep with one eyo and both ears open, and not afraid to tackle anything. See?" Mcse Jackson (tremulously)—l see, boss. I'll send mall wife around."—Judge.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers