The New York Evening Post asserts that tho recent reports of startling crimes aio most of them baseless. The New York Times calculates that New Yorkers expend annually about 50,500,000 on churches, while theatres absorb about $6,500,000. The New Haven Hegister has just discovered the rather curious fnct that there is no copy of the Bible iu the public library of that city. The very poor of Berlin are bettor housed than those of any other largo city in the world. The German capi tal is absolutely without "slums." Tt is estimated that eighty per cent, of tho iron manufactured by Tennes see is sold outside of the Southern States. It is said to he the favorite iron with pipe, plow aud stovo mak ers iu the East and North. The firo hazard in electricity has led to the formation of an electrical bureau by the National Board of Eire Lnderwritcrs. 'ihe headquarters aro in Chicago, where nu efficient system of inspection and testing nnd has been developed. The bureau issues to in surance agencies frequent reports of tests of new electrical appliances and quarterly reports of fires caused by electrioity, with details of tho exact cause, when kuowu. Tho practical value of the dissemination of such in formation is found to be very great. Turf, Field nud Farm bns not a word to say, directly, of the bicycle, but the following littlo parable is be lieved to bo a covert shaft aimed at the rubber shod steed, as its contribu tion to the momentous controversy "Horse vs. Bicycle:" "When the mushroom looks up at the oak, which has stood through storm aud sun shine for decades and commauded tho ndmiratiou of generations of flush and bono, aud says : 'Old fell, you are uo longer in it; you are a back number,' tho stalwart tree is not crushed in spirit. It is simply amused. Tho pink-lipped luugus is as ephemeral as the day, while tho solid aud majestic oak keeps company with the century." Little more of conquest seems loft for the bieyolo. Even tho wild ro 1- skiu nud his fiery cayuse have been subdued. Two ludiaus on horseback were cutting up capers iu Pendletou, Oregon, aud broke several city ordi nances in a few minutes. Marshal Means started to arrest them, aud tho Indians put spurs to their horses and made for tho prairie. The Marshal is an expert bicyclist, and lie mounted liis wheel, and, with one ban 1 grasp ing the handle bar and the other clutching bis gun, he put after the fleeing redskins. Before ho had reached tho city limits he had winged one, and u few hundred yards further ho caught up with tho other aud brought him back in triumph. Tho Atlanta Journal observes; Esti mates by the Indian Buroati based on the fullest and most reliable data obtainable place our local Indian popu lation, exclusive of Alaska, at 243,- 253. The Now York Commercial Ad vertiser compares those figures with provious estimates and concludes that they iudieato tho probable disappear ance of tho Indian boforo ilie end of another century, A continued de crease at tho rate for the past twenty five years would verify this prediction. Just before tbo annexation of Texas our Indian population was estimated at 400,003. Tho census of 1870 put the number at 350,000. A decrease of over 100,000 since 1870 shows a ter rible rate of decline, tho most rapid that has been known in uuy quarter of a century. But there aro hopeful signs to relieve this dark picture. Iu 1871 tho number of Indians on the reservations was 237,478, moro than two-thirds of si]. This year there are oil reservations only 103,117 Indians about ono-third of the whole number. This comparison shows liow success fully the efl'ort to settle ludians on farms of their own has been prosecuted. A majority of all our Indians are now said to be self-supporting. The im- provement among them hat been steady and there is reason to expect that it will continue even more satis factorily. Homo of the civilized tribes are wealthy, and among nearly all ol them thero is a growing appreciation of the virtues which strengthen a people. The Indians generally appear to be ooming to a proper sense of their situation and the cultivation of the peaceful arts is progressing in nearly all the tribes. It is evident that the rato of their decrease for the past twenty-five years will not con tiuue, and we shall not be surprised to see at the next census a substantial in crease of the number of Indians now reported. There is no danger of the extinction of this interesting race. MY SOUL, [The following poom, rocontly discovered In the library >f tho Uuivorsity of Virginia, is alleged to have boon written by Edgar Al lan Po\ at the ago of seventeen years. It was found between the pages of a book (Rol- ! lin's lllstoire Ancionne) which the library reeonls slenv was borrowed by Poe and nut , taken out since his time. | Sailing over seas abysmal From a world of shame, Once a vessel strange and dismal— Phantom vessel—cam*) Toward a fairly isle and olden Where, ill angels unbeholdeu. Tenanted Fate a ghostly, golden Fane of Doom and Fame. Fane of Fame by seraphs builded In the days of yore, There (a temple chased and glided) From the earthly shore Up to heaven rose it gleaming All with hope and beauty beaming— (Like a dream of Aidenn seeming Had it seemed no more!) Bui the pilot over steering For that temple bright. Ever found the island veering From his aching sight. Till from nightly shores appalling Came the solemn darkness falling, lu its hungry clasp enthralling. Land and sea and light. Then the vessel, sinking, lifting Over hopes sublime (Perished hopes!) came drifting, drifting To a wild, weird elime: There, a visitor undaunted J a that desert land enchanted, {still is seen the vessel haunted Out of space and time. TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. BY MANLEY It. TIKE, HE Directors of the ' w 1' irst National Bauk of Sarepta hail sent |Sp >l --d tor me to come to think of only three | [ffiry reasons for this nu ifxj&'r. I usual summons— <3*sl- j 1 I was to bo dis charged, or to have my salary raised, or to have it cut down. When f entered the room President Packers and his colleagues scrutinized me as if I were a promissory note with only one iudorser, until 1 began to feel nervous enough to speculate whether I mightn't have robbed the sate in a (it of temporary iusanity. However, tho Presideut soon put mo at ease on this point by throwing me ! into a state of great uncertainty on ' another. "Mr. Saunders," began he, with his usual air of addressing a mass meeting, ".Mr. Saunders, are you a person of prudence, sagacity and good jud ment?" I thought I hail decided those ques tions in Hie negative by accepting the position I held for tho pay 1 received, but of course it wouldn't'do to say so, and I simply replied that t couldn't say. "Or," continued (he President, I "should the contingency arise, of | physical courage iu danger?" 1 had played left half-back on a i light football team ngaiust a bad tem pered, heavy elevon who couldn't I score ; nevertheless I again answered j that I couldn't say. Those noncommittal replies seemed ' satisfactory, niul I now saw that the object of this catechism was not to find out if I possessed tho good qual ities mentioned, but to inform mo iu directly that I should staud iu ueod ot them whether I possessed thorn or not. President Packers went on to toll mo what was wanted. The bank had to transmit ten thousand dollars to Shovel Brothers, contractors em ployed upon a new railroad in tho northern part of tho State, that tho firm might pay its laborers. Tho re gion was desolate, nnd tho express company refused to make delivery he- | youd its nearest ottice, many miles I distant. Consequently it would lie as well to send tho amouut all tho way by speciul messenger. t was to lio that messenger—and to go alone, lor no unemployed men of the necessary trustworthiness could be found to make up a guard. Tho i Boston bankers, Reichsmarks, Guil- ' dors .V Co., wero to send alike amouut I in a few days, but probably by an- i other route, so that I should not bo j able to take advantage of tho protoc- j tiou their agent would undoubtedly I I instantly accepted tho coinmis- I sion, moved by desiro for a cbauge { from the monotonous routine of tho bank, by a certain spico of adventure about tiio expedition, aud above all i by tho manifest resolve of tho Direc- j tors to send mo anyway. "I'll start to-morrow morning." "Very good, Mr. Saunders," re- j turned tho President. "Your zeal is I most gratifying. I havo ouly to sug- \ gest your making any chaugos iu your dross aud appearanoa that will pre vent those whom you meet from sup- i posing you to be provided with any considerable sum of money." Next morning I was olf on nu early 1 train. Tho President's closing hint ' had been beetle ', an l I flattered my self that no one could ever imagine 1 mo a bank clerk, or a clerk iu uuy 1 other reputable business. I wore ft remarkably aueiont suit of clothes, a hat that would inspire dis trust in the most guileless heart, boots i which needed blacking, linen which | needed whitening- the effect of the wholo perfected by a two days' beard. { I carried a liollow-cbested valise, which appeared to have seon so rnauv of it worst days that it might have re- j mainecl unstolen if dropped in tho ! middle of tho most poverty-stricken ' street in Christendom. This recep- j tuele J treated with the disrespect of a j man who, knowing its padding and pretension, despises it for containing j nothing but paper wads and paper col- j lars. Yet in that forlorn valise, under ! a deceptive stratum of toilet things, lay tho sealed packages of currency amounting to ten thousand dollars. The trniu was a through one, aud I met not a singlo acquaintance. So I feared no embarrassing recognitions, and found myself taken for just what I was not. The conductor punched my ticket with nu air of not expecting me to have any, while tho way in which the train-boy passed me over in his distributions of iigs aud iictiou tilled me with self-complacency. My disguise was, beyond doubt, a com plete success. The day went on—an uneventful and hungry day, for I thought it due to my assumed character to buy uo re freshments but doughnuts aud sau sages, two things I cannot eat. To ward night I changed to a branch road. There wero few passengers, but among them I described for the first time an object of suspiciou—a young man whom I had noticed covertly eyeing mo at tho junction, and who now sat across the aisle. Ho was very well dressed, had tho unmistakable bearing of the city, and would havo been the lad person in the world to causo any anxiety but for bis watching mo whenever 1 wasn't look ing, aud h's pretending to read a small-type newspaper in a light too dim for the correct deciphering of a circus poster whenever he caught my eye. If he had been tho kind of fellow I seemo 1, .1 should have feared nothiug worse than his scraping nu acquaint ance with a view to our future co operation iu petty larcenies; but for a man like him to take such an inter est in such a seedy figure of insolv ency as .1 presented was most sus piciou?. I' suddenly recollected the money coming from Boston, and then, with a flash of insight, I understood tho stranger. He was plainly one of those thieves who, always spying about, collect a surprising fund of information relat ing to bank affairs. Tho Frst Na tional's participation iu the Shovel Brothers' payment was of course woll known to its Boston correspondent, and might easily have leaked out whou lleiehsmarks. Guilders & Co. dis patched their well-guarded messenger. Powerless ngaiust him, tho rascal had turned his attention to me! Just thou we reached tho terminus where I must speud tho night before starting on n forty-mile drive to tho construction camp. As I left the car, the young man opposite lingered iu his seat, feigning to bo occupied with a shawl-strap he carried, so that I might go first. Looking back, I saw him spring quickly up to follow. During tho dark walk to tho hotel he kept eloso behind me, until I began to grow uneasy. I gripped tho precious valise with one hand, and kept the other ready for actum iu case an attempt was made to snatch away mv burden. -But other passengers were before and behind, and tho chance seemed too desperate for him. He finally passed me and went on. I found the little hotel, which would have been tho worst iu tbo place had it not been tho only one, eujoying an unwonted rush of business caused by some kind of gathering then in session. My company did not appear ardently desired, aud advaueo payment a'.ono secured a shelter. Even then I was told I must bo "doubled up" with an other guest. This sleeping in the same bed with a total stranger by no means suited me, but it coald not be helped. After supper I was shown to "36," or rather-directed thoro by a boy who saw in me so little prospect of a fee that he neither took tho journey, nor apologized for ordering mo, "G' up two flights aud turn to tho left." I entered tho room. Before the bureau, half-undressed, stood my late fellow-traveler 1 1 gave an involuntary start. "Hullo, you fellow!" exclaimed he. "What do you want in this room?" "It's 36, isn't it?" asked I, bound to stand my ground. "Well, I'm going to sleep here. Didn't they say you'd be doubled up?" "Yes," lie rejoined, angrily, "but I didn't know —" He stopped abruptly aud turned his back. " 'Didn't know it would bo with you, he meant to say, " I thought; "when it was precisely what ho did know and wanted 1" I rapidly reviewed the situation. If I refused to stay he would at once bo convinced of my identity—a point on which, I had inferred from his con stant staring, ho was not yet perfectly sure. Besides, should I abandon tho solo obtainable bed I should have to speud tho night on tho veranda or iu the haymow—a much more dangerous arrangement than to reinaiu where I could keep an eyo on him. Nevertheless, two things I was Arm upon—l would not go to bed boforo Uo did, aud I would uot go to sleep at I sat down in ono of the two chairs near tho bed with the vulise ou my knees. My robber, as I called him, alter fidgeting around tho room for a few minutes, sat down iu tho second chair on the other side of tho bod. Having noticed that ho had no visi ble baggage except tho shawl-strap, I lnucied 1 might deceive liis expecta tions by treating mv valise as an or diuary one. Oponiug it carelessly I took out whatever happened to come to baud, whistling unconcernedly tho while. But tho scheme had exactly I lie contrary effect to what £ intended. The young man observed my every motion—his whole body stiffened with strained attention. Thou I saw what a silly blunder I was making. The idea of a valise like that con taining a neat hair-brush, tooth-brush and manicure set 1 The tooth-brush 111 itself was enough to betray ine, but the manicure set was utter condemna tion. I crowded the things back into the valise, and set it down again. My room-mate had not lost any movement of mine- I could see that in j his eyes—and thoso eyes followed tho I valise to tho floor, and its key to my | pocket. I now looked over and found i him perilously muscular. "I wish I • had a revolver," I fretted. "No, I j don't—ho might take it away from me and shoot me with it!" i "Come," said tho robber, "aren't you going to bed?" Ab, he wos beginning, was he? "Not yet," returned I. "Are yon?" "Oh, I never go to bed early," said he, casting another glance at my valise. "You dou't, don't you?" I reflected, in what might bo called a sarcastic tone of thought, I continued aloud, "Aren't you sleepy?" "Not a bit." Then, betweeu two tremendous yawns, ho added, "I'm a victim of insomnia!" "Victim of insomnia, indeed!" I in ternally commented. "But you want to make mo tho victim of a robbery, though. We'll see who goes to bed first!" There was a pause; then ho said, "Why dou't you unpack your—ah toilet articles?" with an extremely meaning emphasis. "You might unpack that shawl strap," l retorted. This plainly disturbed him, and not j answering, he pulled the shawl-strap , nearer to his side. From that mo ment I never lost sight of it, for his conduct explained everything, especi ally as I was couviuood that the some thing stickiug out of one end of the strap was the ban die of a sword cane. Well, not to bo tedious, there wo snt, that robber and 1, with tho unoc cupied bed Ibetween us, the whole of t hat blessed night—a night which, judg ing its length from my feelings, would have been excessively long at tho North Pole when daylight is most out of fashion. Sometimes tho young man yawned, sometimes I yawned, some times we both yawned together, all | the while protesting that we weren't a bit sleepy, but toe exasperated at each other to hold any further conversa tion. Once or twice I almost dropped off, but convulsively recovered my senses when 1 remembered where I was and in whose company. Ob, it was tho longest, dullest, dreariest, stupidest, lonesomest, most wearisome, monot onous and heart breaking night I evor weut through in my life! When tho sounds below proclaimed an awakened house, the robber took his shawl strap and left the room, closing the door behind him with a slam that expressed his seutiments bet ter than if ho had abused mo steadily for an hour. I looked yearningly at the bed, but it was too late—l must start for the construction camp before the villain could forma new plan fur mischief. In tho office I found him talk ing to tho clerk in an excited manner, but he broke off as soon as he saw me, and both ho aud the clerk looked mo over with great ferocity. Ho hid evi dently been making a complaint against his room mate, as I intended to do against mine, and the superior ity of his clothes had drawn tho su perficially-observing clerk to his side. I meant to have something to say my self, however. "rfeud for a constable," said T, au thoritatively, walking up to tho desk. "He's been sent for, young fellow," drawled the clerk. "Ah, that's right—that's right," re joined I, surprised. "When ho comes I want him to make au arrest—do you understand?" The clerk burst out laughing. "Why," roared he, "the constable's going to make an arrest—going to ar rest you —you brassy scoundrel, you!" and lie seized mo by tho collar, while the thief grasped my arms. "Who—what do you think I am?" sputtered T, full of wrath. "Don't know who you are—noth ing that's good though, I'll bo bound," said tho clork. "I never saw a more rasoally-looking creature in all my born days. Trying to rob a man, were yon?" "Rob a man ! It was this fellow who was trying to rob me!" I ex oliiime I. "Look here!" Forgetting all caution in ray rage I broke loose, tore open tho old valise and threw tho money-packages upon tho floor. "Look ! Hero's ten thou sand dollars I'm taking to Shovel Brother from the First National Bank of Sarepta. If you don't let me go I'll have you locked lip!" My room-inato tore open his shawl str ip as I had the valise, aud throw a paper-covered roll upon my packages. "There's ten thousand dollars Fin taking to Shovel Brothers from Keichsmurks, Guilders A Co., of Bos ton. Lock up both of us for a couple of wandering idiots!" lie began to laugh; so did I, so did tho clerk, so did tho constable, who now ca uo in, and we kept it up until wo were completely exhausted. Ex planations ensued. ",3o you didn't have a sword-cane in your shawl-strap!" I began. "Aud you didn't have a pistol in your valise —I'm sure I thought you did," said Reiohsmarks, Guilders Ar Co. "If you hadn't watched mo so—" 1 protesle 1. 4 'lf you hadn't been such a hard looking customer—" interruptol he. "If you had had a guard—" I con tinued. "If you had a shave," insisted no. "Why, they told mo to look out for tho Bareptn messenger, but they raid ho was likely to be a 'neat, respectable yonug man,' and you weren't any thing of the sort!" That is all. Wo joined forces, en gaged the countable to accompany us, and delivered our money. My room mate turned out a delightful fellow, and I didn't return to the First National, though my resignation did, | for he secured me a situatiou with Reichsmarks, Guilders & Co., which' made my former salary seem like a financial bad dream.—Youth's Com panion, i ROBBERY OF THE MAILS. HOW UNCLE SAM IS VICTIMIZED BY POSTOFFICE BURGLARS. The Department Using Kvory Kftort to Check the Losses—The Case of liuho Burrows Recalled. OA ER ouc thousand persons uro annually arrested for trying in some way or other to pil fer from the mails, and on tao average more than two postoffiees are robbed every day, year in and year out. East year there was au in crease of thirty-live per cent, in post office burglaries, there beiug 42(3 more such crimes during that time thau in the year preceding, and within the past ten years there lias beeu an in crease of 217 per cent, in postal rob beries. Tho indications are that the present year will break the record, and that it will show more burglaries thau any in our history. The robbing of postoltices is now re duced to a scieuce. It is known that ! there are in the country a class of pro- ! fessional burglars who devote thorn- 1 selves to robbing postoffiees. They I are experts in their Hue, aud their stealings equal fortunes. They have' their fences, through whom they get ! rid of tho stamps they steal, au 1 ! everything connected with them seems j to be systematically organized. They ! operate in all parts of the country, though the headquarters of one of tho ! biggest gangs seems to he in New- York. During tho past two or three j years they have become bolder thau ever. The Postoffice Department has for some time known of their exis tence, and tho inspectors are working night aud day to wipe them out. Two years ago tho matter was taken up by Congress, and an appropriation of SIO,OOO was made to bo used by the Postoffice Department in the shape of rewards for tho arrest aud detection of such robbers. Last year this ap- j propiatiou was increased to $25,030, and the result is that tho department now has standing rewards lor noted postal burglars. M. D. Wheeler is tho Chief Postof lice Inspector. Tho inspectors may be called Uncle Sam's postal detectives. There arc about one hundred of them, and they are scattered all over tho country. They have charge of all crimes connected with tho postoffice, aud may he ordered by the Postmaster General to go to any part of the conn- • try at a moment's notice. A number of them are on duty along the liue between the Unite 1* States and Can ada, and they are especially busy now in keeping track of tho robberies in | tho Western States and Territories. ; Every day or so thero is it telegram from Oklahoma nud tho Indian Terri- j tory asking for the detection of some ; new postoffice crime. The inspectors are under tho charge of Mr. M. D. Wheeler, who directs them from tho Postoffico Department. All complaints are classified. Those which relate to tho registered mail are marked "A." Those which refer to the ordinary mail go into division "13." All charges against postmasters and postal employes and the improper use of tho mails are assigned to another division, marked "0." The "D" cases are those which relate to the robberies of postoffiees, and the "F" cases are complaints as to the foreign mail. There are dariugcrimes j connected with all these cases. The : registered mail is said to carry about two hundred million dollars a year. It handles about fifty million letters and , packages annually, aud last year it was alleged that over twenty-live hun dred of these were oponcl'aud their j contents stolen. Thero were several ' thousand other cases, soino of which ! embraced tho entire Joss of the letter 1 or package. Of the cases investigated, ! it was found that losses actually oc curred in only about eighteen huu dred instances, and that in half of these the money was recovered by tho in- j speotors. As to the annual ordinary ! mail it is impossible to estimate its value. At the rate of twenty-live cent; per letter it would bo worthssoo,ooo,- ' 000. Complaints in this division! amouuted last year to about fifty- | seven thousand, aud the loss was com- i paratively small. Tho chief iucrease in crime has been in postoffice bur- i glaries, and connected with them the numerous defalcations in tho Tern- j tories of tho West. The men who rob Uncle Sam's post- • olliees are among tho most dangerous of our criminal classes They are ; usually men of more than ordinary intelligence, aud tlioy seem to be j adopts in the art of getting out of j Uncle Sam's jails. Thero is a man now , in tho penitentiary at Joliet, 111., win ' held up five men and succeeded in ' making his escape after ho had ' beeu arrested by tho post il iu-> speotors. This man's name is Lo Roy ! Harris. He was formerly in the employ of tho New York Postoffice. About a j year ago he got possession of some j money order aud postal noteblauks of a Connecticut postoffice. With these, i by means of forgery, he succeeded in | obtaining about S3OOJ from the post- | office funds, lie sent his bogu3 money j orders all over the country. The in- | specters soon discovered this fraud, I and within six weeks after the theft of I the blanks they had arrested him. lie j was taken to Dutlalo, N. Y., aud was brought before a United States Com- | raissioncr. While that officer was is- : suing tho ueeossary papers Harris I drow his revolver, made tho live men ' in the room hold up fcboir hands and j escaped. lie was captured, however, j the same night at a little town in I Canada, aud was sent to jail. Of all the desperate postoffice rob bers who have broken jail, however, the department has uo more remarka ble case than that of Rube Burrows. This man was a famous train robber und burglar. He had been engaged in a number of postoffice robberies, and he ended his career through an attempt to rob a mail train in Missis- J sippi iu 1889. He liad two confeder ates, and the three men entered tho train byway of the engine. They covered the engineer and fireman with their pistole, and then made their way back to the mail car. They took all of the registered packages and suc ceeded in making their escape. Tho Postoffioe Department offered SIOOO for the arrest of Burrows. The rail roads also offered rewards, and a man named Carter finally captured him. He was taken to Alahamn, and was put into a village jail. Carter had gouo off to sleep at tho hotel. Ho left a white man and two colored men to guard Burrows. During tho night the white man went off into a cabin to sleep, leaving the two colored men alone. Burrows had a little canvas bag with him at tho time of his cap ture. Ho asked these colored men to get tliis for hiiu, saying that it con | tained some crackers and he was liun | grv. They did this. Burrows at onoo i put his two hands into the bag, and, I notwithstanding tho handcuffs on his wrists, pulled out two pistols. With i those he covered tho colored men. He ' inado them go an l bind an I gag the white man, and tliem made one of the colored man bind tho other. Tho unbound colored man ho coni ! polled to lead him to tho room in tho ! hotel where Carter was sleeping. He I made him kuoek at tho door and say j to Carter that he was wautod at tho jail. The result was Carter opened ! the door an t I'oun I himself facing the | cold steel or Burrows'* revolvers. Ho did not flinch, however, but pulled his pistol aud began liriug. A num ber of shots were exchanged, an I Bur rows was killed. Carter receive I sev eral wounds, b.it ho recovered aud got his reward. —Now York Herald. WISE WOKDS. Good advice is harder to tako than | bad. Babies are tho best oducatori of wo : men. Advice should bo well shaken before taken. Music paints raiubov tints on tho hoart. The worry of the day is a bad bcl fellow. Best is au expensive luxury to most people. It is often better to bo silent tliin sarcastic. Self-made inou are not always the I best made. Ambition is tin murderer of raau ! kind's peace. I Talk moves fast when the burden of thought is light. Charity should not be an impulse, j but a principle. Love is simple iu sentiment and . complex in action. ! A woman thinks of a man; a man thinks for a woman. It would bo impossible to knock some people senseles- 1 . It is much easier to love so mo people than it is to agree with them. Mau's life is a constant trial, aud ail his neighbors are on the jury. Women talk better than men ho cause tliev have more practice. A kiss to a woman is a sentiment; it is merely an incident to a mau. As a rule, country folks think more of their kiu folks than town folks. Woman may be happy when she has only enough hair to pin her hat to. Many a man thinks his wife is pin ing wheu she really is souud asleop. A mother is the last person to dis cover that her sou is a smart Aleck. Liberty and justice arc represented as womeu, because men love liberty and justice. When a young man burns the candle at both cuds, somebody elso has to pay for tho candle. Poitnl Decorations on t'lii in. There is au employe of tho post office, Washburn by name, says tho Philadelphia Record, who is tho proud possessor of what ho considers the i handsomest specimen of "postage | stump plate" in oxisteucc. This pe culiar style of deaorabel china ware has attained considerable popularity iof late. It comprises nothing more 1 or less than ordinary china a lorue I with canceled postage stamps, ar i ranged in various designs, the whole being subsequently subjected to a [ coat of veneering. The particular specimen in tho possession o: Mr. Washburn has a border formed of every denomination issue I by the CJuite.l States Government. Iu the eeutre of the plate is au eaglo formed of tho miniature photographs of em inent men tint grace the various stamps. A circle of similar miniatures surrounds the carle. Tun wh do effjot is decidedly pretty and must have re quired tedious care on the part of tin artist. Dispersion ol Plant Dis eases. It is remarked in the Kew Bulletin that the dispersion of plaut disease i through tho interchange of plants is a peril requiring careful prociution-. The phylloxera was introduced from England into Switzerland. The coffee leaf disease lias been couveye I from Ceylon 011 tho ouo hau 1 to Fiji (with seeds), whore it practically extin guished the promising coffee industry, and to German East Africa on the other. It has always been a matter of the deepest auxiety lest by any acci dent it should be introduced through Kew to tho New World, where it does not nt present exsit. It has been no less a matter of anxiety lest tho coffee leaf miner should bo introduced iuto tho Old Woild. Kew extends, un doubtedly, an involuntary hospitality to many strange guests, which come unbidden, no ouo knows whence. London News. 'THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE. STORIES THAT ARE BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Compensation Tho Exception A New Definition —As Ho Inferred —Rejected Addresses, Etc., Ktc# There's always a bitter for every sweet, A thorn for every rose; A rival for every sweetheart Ami corns for I he daintiest too. If ever we love a fragrant flower, 'Tis sure to facte away; Whenever there's soup lor dinner There's sure to bo hitsli next clay. —Kansas CU^Rtar. A NEW DEFINITION. "Why do you call a man a bal egg?" inquires this philologist. "Well, you don't want to have him touch you when lie's broke," is tho answer, THE EXCEPTION. Edith —"What! Mr. Worth asked you to be his wife? Everybody says he is a woman hater." Kate—"Yes, but I don't seem to bo tho woman."—Boston Transcript. AS HE INFERRED. First Tourist (grandly) "While iu Europe last summer I went through Wales." Second Tourist (from tho West) "How much did his Priocelots have in his clothes?"— Truth. SHE WAS PARTICULAR. "Lot us go to the beach aud bathe said Mrs. Wiffells to Mrs. Taddells. "Thank you, but I prefer not. T think it is unsanitary under present conditions. When individual oceans arc provided for bathers I will go in." —Judge. REJECTED ADDRESSED Miss Mildmuy— "I am sure tint there is good in Mr. Spooner. Ho certainly is very ten ler -hearte 1. " Miss Frost—"Yes, ho has a heart that has been tendered to about every unmarried woman in town, if that ii what you mean."—Boston Transcript. HOW HE KNEW. "No," said tho man who staid iu town while his family went to the sea shore, "I liaveu't had any direct news from them. But they are enjoying themselves immensely." "How cnu you toll, if they don't write?" "I read about it in my check book." —Washington Star. REPARTEE IN THE MENAGERIE. "You look as if you needed a hair cut," said the elephant, nosing about tho lion's cage. "Before you go around makiug re marks about other people's appear ance, you'd better trim dowu your ears," retorted tho lion, shaking his mane. "You show your ivories too much when you talk, auyhow."—Chi cago Tribune. CnANOE OF CONDITIONS. Tho stout man wiped off his fore head. "Yes, I was a good deal run down before I got a bicycle," ho said. "But uow,"ho added, determinedly gripping the handles, and taking aiui at an old lady crossing tho street, "it is the other people who are that way." Tho old lady was pilod up in tho gutter. —Bockland Tribune, A FAMILY MATTER. Mrs. Perkins (calmly rominiscenH) "Jonathan, we'vo bin married forty years next Tuesday an' never had a cross word yit." Mr. Perkins —"I know it. I've sto:> I yer ,'awiu' purty well." Mrs. Porkius —"Jouathau Perkins, you're a mean, hateful, deceitful ol I thing, an' I wouldn't marry you agin for lovo ncr inouey !" - Judge. A TEST OF MERIT. "That's the best thermometer on tho South Side ; I paid a big price for it, too." "You'ro foolish. I got ouo for a quarter." "But it isn't a correct instru ment." "Well, sir, I'll bot you it'll register three degrees hotter iu summer and fivo degrees colder iu winter than this one!" •Chicago Record. REMOVING THE OPPORTUNITY. Major Xlosswell was a man of fixed habits. At nine o'clock every morning ho entered the door of his club, seated himself beforo tho fireplace, anl pro ducing a copy of a Now York paper of the previous day's issue, proceeded to peruse it. It was an unwiitten law of the club that while tho Major was so occupied he should not bo disturbed, and the only man who at auy time dared to do so was Orichtou. Criohton was a min with an inex haustible supply of dreary auocdotes. Everything reminded him of storie?, which he would relate with infinite care and elaborato detail whenever he could secure au audience. Therefore when tho Major saw Crichtou outer the library ouo spring morning he buried his nose deep iu tho editorial columus of his favorite journal, and made no sign of recogni tion. Crichton strolled about the room in a desultory way, until tho Major be gan to grow nervous aud uneasy, and to feel that tho room was getting rather close, so ho called to one of the servants: "Charles, I wish you would let that window up. It's very close in here." Here was Crichton's opportunity. Smiling pleasantly, ho commenced, "Letting that window up reminds me of a story—" when he was interrupted by a roar from the Major : "By Jove, Charles ! let that window down!"— Harper's Magazine.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers