Fkeeland Tribune. PUBUSIIKD " Kvr.HY MONDAY ANDTIIUBSDLAY. RILOS. A. BUCKLEY, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTEX. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One Year —••••••••••• ....$1 GO 6tx Months 75 Four Months. 60 Two Months 25 Subscribers are requested to observe the data following the name on the labels of their papers. By referring to this they can tell at a glance how they stand on the books in thti office. For instance: drover Cleveland 28June95 means that drover Is paid txp to June 28,1886k Keep the 11 gun* In advance of the present data. Report promptly to this office when your paper in not received. All arrearages must bo paid when paper is discontinued, or collection will be made In the manner provided bylaw. The 400 would be nowhere in Russia, exclaims the New York Press. Tho members of the Russian nobility foot up 050,000 persons. Deapito all the criticism of the pres ent athletic craze, it remains a fact, maintains the New York Mail and Express, that the girl of today is taller, stronger, trimmer and moro robust than tho girl of ten years ago. Missouri, it is said, will have tho youngest member of the Fifty-fourth Congress. Norman A. Mozley, who defeated Arnold in the Fourtocuth District, is not yet twenty-eight years old. lie is a self-made lawyer of Dex ter. Printer's Ink contains, this admoni tion : If at tho foot And want to rise- Ad vortiso I If top of heap You would keep— Advertise! Where'r ou earth Your dwelling place, If you would win Success* race— Advertise. Tho only time when American troops waro ever scut beyond this continent was in 1740, when the Brit ish sent an expedition to attack tho const cities of Venezuela. In that ex pedition there were 400 soldiers from North Carolina, but at tho present day it is impossible to ascertain any of their names. This shows how easily our history may bo blotted out by ueglect. W. R. Lerser, Indian agent for tho SUCH and Foxes nt Tacomn, lowa, where there are 1)92 Indians, makes a rather pessimistic report of tho condi tions and advancement of the Indians. There are but thirty-five houses, the Indians living mostly in tepees. Most of the Indians cling to the blanket, instead of civilized dress. lie expect ed to make a report of agricultural progress, but was doomed to disap pointment. There has been no prog ress in schools. There are tkreo things that attract tho notice of a traveler from the States when he has got into Canada, so to say nothiug of the general dull ness that pervades that province. One, enumerates the Clnoago Herald, is the disappearnuee of window blinds and bareness of thehouso fronts. The other is the presence of militiamen and policemen, who arc as nearly copies as may be of the English militia nud London "bobkics." The third is tho impossibility of getting your ehoes blacked, except in the wash rooms of the hotels. One pays ten cents for a shave, and a New York ar tist who did his work so shabbily would be made to do it over again. Tho New York Sun observes: It is not surprising that parties of Nor wegian immigrants have left Minne sota to settle in British Columbia. They can get farms for nothing there upon condition that they improve tho land ; and that is something not to bo got in the United States in our time. Nearly all tho Norwegians who come to this country want to take up farms, but wo cannot give away these nice presents upon such easy torms as in other times. There are yet, however, Southwestern States in which they can buy land cheaply, and wo direct their attention to that part of our broad country, which has a richer soil, a better climate, a higher productive power aud moro accessible markets than any of tho Cauadian provinces. Wo say frankly that those of them who settlo in Canada will constitute a very desirable accession to its popula tion, even though they may be discon tented under foreign rule and a Euro pean Hag. (Jo RONE it —"You sweur positively that you were not to blame for the man's death?" I>r. Tyro (haughtily)— "Certainly, sir; they did not call me fioon enough." —liutTalo Courier. A SONG OF TRIUMPH. To-day, I sing a victor strain, A hymn of praise, A canticle of joyous sound I upward raise. From boughs that thickly overhang The battle-field, I pluck fair laurel leaves with which To deck my shield. My spear and helmet, I twino With leaves of bay In token of my victory In furious fray. Yet no man's blood bestains my mall, And what is best, No ghastly face, nor dying moan, Disturbs my rest. To-day. between Heaven's holy hi*l And Hell's dark pit, I met a Sin that tomptod me, And conquered It! —Clarence Urmy, in Youth's Companion. SUSAN ANN'S METHOD. BY \V. J. LAMPTOX. "TO Q a HEN Susnn Ann , f - HY / Hilton married C '.V'- W Jor am Nellums fi ' lo bought she was doing big 'tilings, for Joram was very fore- ' handed, and there wasn't a thriftier farmer in all Squ an Neck neighborhood than he was. Of course, people said Joram Nellums was so close that a dollar couldn't bo dragged out of his pocket with a team of cattle ; but Susan Ann said that was because they hadn't so much as ho lmd and didn't know how to accumulate. As far as Susan Ann was concerned, she was an old maid who took in sew ing and made enough by it to dress herself well and live in the only hotel in tho town of Squan Neck. It wasn't much of a hotel, as hotels go these days, but it sheltered Miss Biltou very comfortably, and being an in dependent woman who liked to havo her own way coming and going, she found it eminently satisfactory. It cost her possibly ns much as 82 a mouth moro to live there than if sho had gone to Mrs. Wiggins's board ing-house, but Susan Ann was not close when it came to her own com fort and conviniencc. It was a great lift to her, 110 doubt, when sho married Joram Nellums, for now she was to be mistress of her own house and the finest farm in the country. Many n younger woman than she would liavo been glad to have become Mrs. Nellums, and it cannot bo de nied that on the lirst Sunday that the new Mr.s. Nellums walked down the aisle of the church she carried her head a few notches higher than the meek and lowly doctrines taught in the edilico every Sunday really re quired of her. That was the woman in her, however, and it may bo ex cused under the circumstances. It was a great thing to bo Mrs. Joram Nellums, and Susan Ann Hilton was not the only woman in Squan Neck who thought so, although Susan Ann was the only woman who knew what it was from actual experience. The happy couple went away on a bridal tour to bo gone two weeks, and it was a sore disappointment to Susan Ann when Joram cut it just half in two, giving as an excuse that the busi ness of the farm had very unexpect edly called him back. Like an obe dient wife she accepted his explana tions and his promises that they would ,go to the city as soon as the crops wore laid by, and they would stay there as long as she cared to stay. For a mouth after their return, Susan Ann laid great store by her ex alted position in Squan Neck society, but somehow there was an ever present lack of opportunity to use it to ex cess. Joram was busy, or Joram was tired, or Joram had something else that prevented, or forty dozen other obstacles with Joram back of them in ter ferod with her plans. Thus a year ran on, uud by that time Susan Ann was doing kitcheuwork and house work und there was some indication that she would be doing the washing uext, with a fair prospect that tailor ing for Joram end one or two of the farmhands would bo added 10 her other duties. Occasionally Joram had some thing to say about economy, but he ucver accused her of extravagance. "You ain't very savin', Susan Ann," ho said to her ono day, "but I'm willin' to agree that you ain't a great spender." About this time the fact began to dawn upou her gradually that there was a difference in the manner of Mrs. Ncllums's every-day lifo and that of Miss Susau Ann liilton. She would wonder sometimes if making dresses and getting paid for them, with the privilege of spending her earnings as she pleased, wus not in some particu lars almost as satisfying as doing two women's work for Joram Nellums with out pay. At tho end of two years' 1 , she dis covered that tho wedding clothes that she hod provided herself with had eorao to the ragged edge, and a now dress at least, and bonnet were abso lutely necessary. So when Joram sat down to breakfast one morning in a good humor, for the breakfast was a good one, dono entirely by herself, sho told him that she wanted some thing to wear, and gave him a little memorandum of what was needed. "Joeroo.shy, Susan Ann," ho ex claimed, ''l can't stand this. I've always said you wasn't much on savin', but this is upsettin' everything. Why, wbut you've got down here will cost as much as thirty-one dollars and seventy-five cents." "What if it does, Joram," sho ro plied amiably, "haven't I worked for it,? You haven't bought me anything j since we got married." I "Aud I ain't bought myself any thing, have I?" ho asked after tho manner of tho kind of man he was. When breakfast was over Susan Ann was not much nearer the desired goal than before, and sho was in a bad humor besides, with an addition in the shape of a disappointment iu Jor am she had been trying for a long time to stave off. At tho end of a week he gavo her 810 and told her that he could not spare another cent. "You must remember, Susan Ann." he said, "that I ain't a millionaire. And even if I was, I wouldn't en conrago extravagance in a womau. It's born in 'em anyway, aud if they git half a chauco "with money they never know when to stop letting it go." Three months after this lecture from Joram, sho got another when the ne cessities of tho caso drove her to him to get a pair of shoes. Then Susan Ann sat down to think over tiio situation, and it is safo to say that sho did some very tall thinking. Somo women might have wept, but Susan Ann was no weeper. If she had tears to shed, she did not intend to shed thorn in a cause of this kind. Something harder than tears was tho remedy, and Susan Ann was not long in getting at it. That night at supper Joram didn't liko tho coffee. It was moro like beans, ho said, but Susan Ann hadn't much to say, and Joram thought she was sullen because ho had talked judiciously to her on the subject of extravagance. Tho bad coffoo continued a week and then Joram noticed that the meat was not as good nor was tho broad, as it had onco been. Ho complained, but Susan Ann hadn't much to say. On tho following Sunday when they started out to church Joram thought Susan Ann was a sight to behold, but ho didn't say anything for fear she might come back at him about tho dress and the shoos. It was tho first time since they had been married that Joram had not felt a pride iu tho appearaneo of Mrs. Nellums aud it made him think just a little. On the way homo ho spoke of it and suggested that as he had made a little something on wheat tho week before, maybo ho could let her havo that money for a new dress. "Indeed, no, Joram," sho replied, "I don't want it. I only thought I did. I can get along just as well with what I havo at present and wo can save that. Every littlo counts, you know, Joram, and we are too poor to go to needless expense." lie insisted mildly that sho should tako the money, but it was not diffi cult for her to convinco him that it was extravagant, and he said no moro about it. Tho dark bread and the weak coffee and tho bad meat contiuuod, and there were added other things less attrac tive to tho palate than formerly, and ono day when ho wanted to know why sho did not use the meat iu the smoke house that ho know was as good as any that had ever been cured, and ho prided himself on curing meat, sho surprised him by putting quite a sum of money down by his plate and tell ing him she had sold it for a good price because sho thought it was more economical to eat less expensivo meat. Joram began to talk, but she was so pleasant and practical in her argu ments that ho hadn't tho heart to argue and gave up to her. He also put tho money in his poc ket. One day when he went into town on his wagon some hoys made rude re marks about the clothes he wore, and when ho told Susan Ann about it, and said maybe ho had ought get some thing bettor, she tlow ull to pieces and gave tho naughty boys such a raking over that Jorum was sorry he had said anything about it, and went on wear ing tho same old clothes. A dozen or moro times during the winter Joram sat shivering beforo a miserable lire because Susan Ann in sisted that fuel was too expensive and that they must save until they had plenty to indulge in luxuries on. Day by day the tablo became poorer aud pooer; tho good china was put awuy and the old cracked kiml brought out; tho little silver things that had been given them for wedding pres ents were locked up, and Susan Ann was cutting down expenses in away that nobody would have expected of her. Several nights Joram almost froze for lack of cover, but Susan Ann was cheerful and told him that newspa pers were warmer than blankets if he would only inuko up his mind to think so. He kicked, however, on this and was only pacified when she gavo him S2O that she had received for the fruit sho hud put up and didn't care to use. He thought it was extra stock that sho had, but later when ho wanted some and she told him sho had sold it all, and there wasn't anything for dos-1 sort now but dried apples, Joram be came rather demonstrative, and it was all her good temper could do to keep him from boiling over. All thin time Joram was doing some thinking as well as Susan Ann was, aud between shivering at nights and half starving during the day, he was getting in a condition to go to a luna tic asylum. One day tho final crash arrived. When Jorum came in from work tho big easy chair he had paid $25 for in n freak of extravagance just before ho was married wis gone, and with it all the carpets. "What does this meaD, Susan Ann?" ho asked, trying to appear cool. "Are you houHCcleauiug?" "Why, Joram," laughed Susan Ann, "how you talk. You know this ain't housecleaningtime." "Well, where's tho chair and car pets, thou?" "Here thov are, Joram," and she gave him SIOO. "Besides tho money 11 got a cheaper cliuii and cheap car pets in tlieir place, and they'll be hero in tho morning. Now go on and wash your faco and hands; supper's ready." .Torara obeyed and went to supper; and it was tho meanest supper ho ever sat down to. That evening ho shiv ered before tho fire of slack and rub bish and that night ho had too little cover, but ho could hear tho money jingling in his pockets. At breakfast he appearod looking as blue as an ague patient and shaking like two. "Susan Ann," ho said, "I'm going to town this morning. You haven't sold tho horso and buggy yet, havo you?'' "No, Joram," she answered, "but there's a man coming to look at it to day. Wo don't need it, and it costs o mint of money to keep a carriage any how. " "What time's the man coming, Susan Ann?" ho asked submissively. "He said ho'd bo hero at 10 o'clock." Joram Neilums gulped as if some thing were choking him, and he looked at Susan Ann. "Susan Aun,"hesaid slowly, "hero's a check for SIOOO and you can tell tho man that's coming to go to grass. I'm going to take you to town in tho buggy and wo are going to buy every thing wo want and havo a nico time, and when wo como back, I'm going to mako you cashier of the business and you can do as you pleaso. Economy's all right, Susan Ann, but there's a limit to it that somehow I never soo before until you showed it to me." Then it was that Susan Ann broke down and cried, because she thought the occasion appropriate, and the tears that fell from her faco fell upon the faco of the check in her hand, but Jorain actually laughed and kicked up his heels like a boy.—Detroit Free Press. How Scissors Are Made. Though no complexities aro involved in the making of scissors or much skill required, yet tho process of manufacture is very interesting. They aro forged from good bar steel heated to redness, each blade being cut off with sufficient metal to form the shank, or that destined to beoomo the cutting part, and bow, or that which later on is fastened into the holding portion. For tho bow a small hole is punched, and that is afterward expanded to the required sizo bv ham mering it on a conical anvil, after which both shank and bow aro filed iu a more perfect shape and the hole bored in tho middle for tho rivet. The blades aro next ground, and the handles filed smooth und burnished with oil aud emery, after which the pairs are fitted together and tested as to their easy working. They aro not yet finished, however. They have to undergo hardening and tempering aud be again adjusted, after which they are finally put together again and polished for tho third time. In comparing tho edges of knives and scissors it will bo noticed, of course, that tho latter are not in any way so sharply ground as tho former, aud that in cutting, scissors crush aud bruise more than knives.—San Fran cisco Chronicle. Chinamen Buying (bins. A unique sight at tho present time is tho number of Chinamen who can be seen in tho various gun stores purchasing firearms. In one ttore on Broadway, New York City, could have been seen tho other day a dozen Mon golians, each carefully examining a rifie, and in their way expressing themselves as to tho peculiar merits of tho arm in question. As a rule, they were solicitous as to the mechan ism devoted to breech-loading, but once in a while an enthusiast would raise tho rifie to his shoulder and iu his imagination think of tho result. Dealers say that considerable quanti ties of small arms, as well as rifles, have been bought ostensibly for the purpose of shipiug to China. Gen erally the assemblage of these China men attracts a crowd of Caucasians on the sidewalk, who look with wonder ing or philosophical eyos, according to tho temperament of each individual, upon the curious picture displayed before them. Hardware. All Sliing's Little Trick, M An amusing thing occurred whilo I was at Yokohama," says a recently returned traveler. "An official notice of tho Government had been pub lished in the Japanese newspapers saying that all Chinese who wished to depart must do so by a certain date, or elso remain until tho war was over. Thereupon, Ah Shing, a big clothing dealer of 16 Water street, called all the Chineso together and they all agreed to go. They got their goods to tho dock, and finally aboard the steamer, with themselves, and tbo steamer pulled out. At the last mo ment it was found that tho wealthy merchant had held his goods and slipped back to the city. He at once resumed business, having got rid of all opposing merchants, and is now I rolling in riches, because of tho great business ho is doing."—Detroit Freo Fresa. Strongest Man in Kentucky. Tom McMunegal, of Brandenburg, Ivy., was said to bo tho strongest man in Kentucky. It was an easy job for Tom to lift a barrel to his mouth and drink out of tho bung hole. Tom was 1 a marriod man, and afterward moved 1 to Harrison County, Indiana, living across the river about threo miles from Brandenburg. Tho first in • crease in his family was twins, tho next time it wus triplets and then his wife presented him with eight boys, ' four at a birth. Theso eight boys all grew up to be men, and tho smallest ■I of them weighed 165 pounds. Ono of I the first quartet, Mr. McMunegal, } I now lives in Brandenburg, and is a r ; well known citizen of that county.— Atlanta Constitution. HOUSEHOLD AFFAIUS. TO WASH PRINTS. Calicos, ginghams and chambrays cannot bo properly washed along with the white clothes. They neod a much quicker process, and the long delays of an ordinary washday would ruin them. To set the colors soak tlie'dress a few minutes before beginuing tho regular washing. If there is much pink, pur ple, lavender or green in tho goods, strong cold alum water is tho best. For reds, yellows, browns and the like, use about one ounce of sugar of lead to a gallon of water. For black and white combinations, whether striped or in tho form of gray, dis solve two handfuls of salt in a tub of cold water. Do not uso boiling but merely warm water to wash colored cottons. Pow dered borax is better than soap to clean them, for it does not afloat the colors. Then wash hastily through warm bran water, rinse twice, blue if tho colors require bluing, wring, tftarcli on tho wrong side with well made, smooth starch, and hang in a breezy but not sunny place until the dresses are absolutely dry. The sun would fade the colors. Sprinkle even and linely, but not too much, roll away for awhile, and then ire - * tho untrimmed parts on tho wrong side; ruffles, tucks and tho like on the right.—American Agriculturist. ART IN BREADMAKINO. At the same lesson where Mrs. Rorcr treated Vienna broad Hho also took up whole wheat bread, which is considered oxtremoly nutritious and wholesome. It was a noticeable fact that the dough and sponge of tho whole wheat bread was entirely different from that of tho Vienna. In tho jam it was i weighty to the touch, and oil the kneading board proved itself far from elastic. The whole wheat is tho grain robbed of tho husk. It is nitrogenous and contains phosphates, therefore it is most nutritious, and away and be yond tho white bread in tho matter of healthful properties. Tho recipe for this is one quart of liquid, which may bo one-half milk and one-half water. Scald the milk and add the water to it. When lukewarm add one cako of dis solved yeast, one teaspoonful of salt and sufficient whole wheat flour to make dough, like white bread. Knead until soft and elastic, cover in a bowl or pan and let it stand three hours, theu mould, put in greased square pan and stand aside for one hour; after which bako in a moderately slow oven. A flour rich in gluten soon becomes elastic. Keep the sponge at the first kneading at a temperature of sixty eight to seventy degrees. To make sure of your yeast, never use a cake that is tho least bit soft or has any other odor than that which belongs to it by nature. The square loaf requires a slow oven, tho more slender Vionno form a quick one. In home-made yeast there is a ming ling of weeds, as yeast of this order ie uncultivated, while in the German variety all tho weeds havo been ex punged, and in one tiny cako there are ten thousand times as many yeast germs as in a cup of home-made yeast. Corn bread was next taken up, and tho recipe tor that was given as fol lows : One-half pint of boiling water, mixed with one-half pint of corn floui until {tho combination is free frori lumps and is perfectly smooth. Ado one-half cup of milk and place on tin fire, cooking until it is scalded; add one-half a yeast cake, one-half tea spooulul of salt and sufficient wheal flour to make a thin dough. Add this Hour slowly and finally tij the bowl toward you and beat vigorous ly for a few minutes. Nearly all breac requires kneading, and this portion o: tho process of bread making is largelj tho secret of its success or failure. I*. should bo done lightly, delicately, but very thoroughly, and with tho ball oi the hand. —New York Journal. RECIPES. Cocoannt Pyramids—Whip tin whites of five eggs as for icing, nd< one pound of powdered sugar whili doing this until it will stand alone, then beat in ono cup of grated cocoa nut. Shapo into pyramids upon a dish and serve. Hickory-Nut Macaroons—To one and a half cupfuls of hickory-nut meats pounded fino add ground all spice and nutmeg to taste. Make 9 frosting as for cakes, stir in tho meats and spices. Flour the hands and roll tho mixture into balls about the size of a nutmeg. Lay them on tins well buttered, giving room to spread, bako in a quick oven. Uso washed butter for greasing tho tins, as lard or salt butter gives an unpleasant taste. Baked Mushrooms—Trim off tho roots and imperfect parts of a quart of large mushrooms, and wash them in plenty of cold water containing a tablespoon fill of vinegar ; cut as many slices of bread, freo from crust, as will cover the bottom of a medium sizod baking pan. Lay tho mush rooms on tho bread, Bprinkle them with pepper and salt, put a small pieco of butter on each one, and set the pan in a hot ovon for fifteen min utes. Servo the mushrooms on toast, being careful that it does not burn. Beofstcak and Oysters—For a steak of from two to three pounds uso s quart of oysters, from which all bite of shell liuvo been removed. Boil tho steak without salting it, as quickly as possible, placing it close to a vory hot fire; as soon as it brown season with salt and pepper, put it on a hot plat ter and put over it tho oysters. Lay on tho oysters about two tablespoon fuls of butter cut in half-inch pieces, and put tho dish into a very hot oven until tho oysters are done, which will bo as soou as their edges begin to curb bui vo tho dish hot at once. Philadelphia has a woman under taker. Minnesota has a dairy sohool for women. There are 100 women sugar planters in Louisiana. Gardening for women is engaging attention in Germany. Women aro two inches taller than they were thirty years ago. Evening silks in tho stylo of thirty years ago are tho height of modern fashion. Wealthy women of Now York give more to charity than those of any other city. Fashionable women as bicycle riders are very numerous on tho Boulevard, New York. Tho latest fad is to light a banquet table with wax tapers, placing one be fore each guest. At Reading, Ponn., seventoen school janitresses are to have authority to arrest disturbers. A deaconess hospital in connection with tho Church of Scotland has been opened at Edinburgh. The Johns Hopkins University of Baltimore, Md., allows female students only in its medical school. Tho hennins, or huge headdresses, worn by tho ladies of Paris during tho fourteenth century, often cost as much as S2O. Thero is a noteworthy preponder ance of females in Sweden. The latest statistics show 148, GG9 more females than males. Tho Governors of Westmoath Asy lum, Ireland, have appointed a woman doctor to tho medical charge of the fo malo lunatics. Women are employed to tond rail road switches in Holland. They do not fall asleep at the switch, and do not get drunk. Talented young women find a con tinually expanding field for work in designing pictures for tho newspapers and maguzines. Harvard refused to meet Boston University in debate until the latter cut out a woman who had been chosen as one of its champions. Tho Countess of Wharncliffo cut tho first sod in England for the extension of tho Manchester, Sheffield and Lin colnshire Railway to London. A Philadelphia woman, xecontly de ceased, whose will is now being con tested, made provision that she should bo buried in her seal skin sacquo. Miss Mary McCulloch, daughter of Hugh McCulloch, the famous financier and ex-Secretary of tho United States Treasury, has started on a tour around tho world. Tho Duchess of York has become General President of tho South Lanca shire Needlework Guild. The majority of tho associates aro pit and factory girls, domestic servauts and farm help. Mrs. Charles Dudley Warner is said to bo tho best amateur musician In New England. Most of tho able mu sical criticisms so prominent through out Mr. Warner's writings are due to her influence. * It is curious how many women named "Emma" have become famous in the musical world. There are Emma Eames, Emma Caive, Emma Nevada and Emma Abbott, all of whom were or are queens of song. Miss Florence Nightingale, who is enjoying excellent health at seventy four, is in very comfortable circum stances. Besides her private income she has $250,000 publicly subscribed for her at tho close of the Crimean war. "Gyp," tho French writer of sensa tional novels, is Mme. do Martie. She is forty-four years old, was born in Brittany, and is a greatuiece of Mira beau. Sho married at nineteen, aud lior eldest child, a boy, is twenty years of age. Tho cynical Detroit Frco Press re marks that a woman may lovo a man for what he does for her, and tho cynical Atchison Globe remarks that after a woman marries sho doesn't see tho point of her husband's jokes us quickly as sho used. There is a business woman in New York who lives in daily fear of failing in business. Sho has put a\*ay a thou sand dollars in her tca-caddv. This is to purchase chickens for tho nucleus of a stock farm if business manipula tions turn out wrong. Nobody will accuse the artistic girl of turning her boudoir into an apothe cary shop. Still, it is a fact that tho cunning creature is supplying her den with a mysteriously beautiful light at night by placing globes of colored water in front of lighted candles pluced on corner brackets. A woman jeweler and engraver, who sits in a window in Sixth avenue, New York City, busily engrossed with her work, attracts tho attention of tho passers-by. It is a wonder moro women do not learn these trades, as their nimble fingers would seem to fit them peculiarly for the work. A pleasant and lucrative employment it is said to be. Rov. Dr. Phebs Hanaford, tho well known Universalis clergyman, enjoys the rare distinction of having been tho first womau chaplain to preside over a body of legislators. This experience was hers in the years '7O and '72 at New Haven, Conn. For such services she received the stipulated pay given men lor like offices aud was presented with a check on pay day as were the lawmakers. It is an liouor not often touferred upou women to-day. AS HIS MOTHER USED TO DO. Ho criticized her pu idlngs, and ho found fault with her cake ; lie wished she'd make such biscuit as hi 9 mother used to make ; She didn't wnsh tho dishes ond she didn't make a stew, Nor even mend his stockings, ns his mother used to do. His mother had six children, but by night her work was done; His wife seemed drudging always, yet she only had the one. nis mother alwnys was woll drcssod, his wlfo would be so too, If only she would manage as his mothei used to do. Ah, well! She was not perfect, though she tried to do her best. Until at length she thought hor time had come to have a rest; So when one day he went tho samo old rig marole all through, She turned and boxed his oars, just as his mother used to do. —Rohobolh Sunday Ilcruld. HUH Oil OF THE DAY. A blanket mortgage furnishes but a poor house-warming.—Puck. Alice —"Beauty is but skin deep." Maud (spitefully)—" Who told you?" —Puck. Tho man that rifles your pockets should ho shot-guuned. —Dansville (N. Y.) Breeze. A man may bo bosido himself, and yet have no idea how ridiculous he looks.—Puck. Tho man next door always has ono advantage over me. That's in his neighbors. —Puck. "The Missing Link"—Tho ono tho dog stole in the bologna sausage fac tory.—Dansville (N Y.) Breeze. Tho virtues made of necessity al ways appear as if the material couldn't have been very abundant. Puck. We oil believe in letting well enough alone; but we make mistakes us to the right time to do it. —Puck. "Is Miss Elder's hair artificial?" "Oh, no ; it is human hair." "I meau it is her own?" "Certainly ; she bought iA." —Pittsburg Chronicle-Telograph. And now the bu9y office man Will find one duty more ; Whene'er'tis cold he'll have to '•Come back and close the door!" —Chicago Intcr-Ocenn. Mrs. Placid—"Where wore you last night?" Mr. P.—"At a stag party, my dear." "I thought so when I heard you staggering upstairs."—Philadel phia Record. Friend— "Are you superstitious? Do you believe in signs?" Successful Merchant "No; newspaper adver tisements aro better, and cheaper."— Printers' Ink. A man may think he adores a wo man. But his love is put to a terri ble struiu when she asks him to but ton her shoes with a hairpin.—Now York Herald. Tailor—"l hear that you have paid my rival, while you owe me for two suits." Student—"Who dares to ac cuse mo of such a preposterous thing?" —Fliegende Blaetter. "Does ycur wife wear a high hat when she goes to tho play?" "I should say she does," replied tho man who always looks weary. "It costume $27." —Washington Star. Figg—"Yes, I allow that her sing ing is something terrible; but I guess wo shall live through it." Fogg— "That is the most terrible thing about it." —Boston Transcript. Trivvot—"You knew Cbarlio Dum mit, didn't you?" Dicer —"He weut West and was lynched." Trivvet— "ls that rcully so? Well, Dummit al ways was high strung."—Harlem Life. Ono little girl in tho slums—"Wot yer say she died of?" The other ono "Eating a tuppeny ice on tho top of 'of pudden.* " The first mentioned— "Lor! what a jolly death." —Tid- Bits. Tough—"Have you got pull enough in Washington to git a patent fer me?" Pateut Lawyer—"What is your invention?" Tough—"lt's a pneu matic tiro fcr perlice clubs. "—Good News. McSwatters —"Is Clanghoru a fin ished author?" McSwatters—"Yes, you see, he called o i Woolly, of tho Howler, and called him a liar ; and— woll, you know Woolly."—Syracuse Post. Old Friend —"Seems to mo yon nro paying your cook pretty BtitT wageH." Jimson— "Have to; if I don't she'll leave, and then iny wifo will have to do the cooking hersolf."—Now York Weekly. Clerk —"Here's Bomo of the fresh cracked wheat. Would you like a puckugo of it?" Mrs. Newcash— "Young man, when I want damaged goods I'll let you know."—Chicago Inter-Ocean. Mrs. Workaday—"Ob, I do so liko to see a good, strong, determined man." Mr. Workaduv (straightening) "So do I, my dear." Mrs. W.— "John, the coul hod is empty."—Bos ton Courier. "You are charged with having votod fivo times in one day," said the Judge, Bternly. "I am charged, am I?" ropeated the prisoner. "That's mighty odd. I oxpectod to bo paid for it."—New York Sun. Miss Do Fashion (a fow yoars hence) "You aro wanted at the telephone." Mrs. Do Fashion —"Oh, dear! I pre sume it's Mrs. Do Style, to return my telephone call. I hopo she won't talk long."—New York Weekly. He (pleadingly)—" Why can't we be married right away?" Sho (coyly) "Oh, I can't bear to leave father alono just yet." He (earnestly) "But, my darling, ho has hal you such a long, long time." She (freez ingly) "Sir!"—Brooklyn Life.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers