FREELAND TRIBUNE. PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY. 'rilOS. A. BUCKLEY, Enrrou AMI PROPRIETOR. OFFICE: MAIN STREET ABOVE CENTRE. SUBSCRIPTION RATES. One Year $1 no Six Months 7o Four Months HO Two Months Subscribers are requested to observe the date following the name on tho labels of their papers. By referring to this they can tell at a glance how they stand on the books in this office. For instance: Grover Cleveland 28JuneQ5 means that Grover is paid up to Juue 28, 1895. Keep the figures in advance of the present date. Report promptly to this office when your pupor is not received. All arrearages must bo paid when paper is discontinued, or collection will be made in the manner provided by law. Wyoming is richer in minerals than any other State in the country. Huesia is said to have 137,000,000 more acres of land under cultivation than the United States, but these sta tistics are supposed, by the New York World, to be misleading, if not wholly false. Baltimore is the fourth maritime city in the country, being exceeded by New York, Boston and New Or leans, and nearly 3000 foreign vessels arrive and depart every year. The ex ports exceed $50,000,000 a year. Largo irrigation works costing S-,- 000,000 and irrigating 100,000 acrcp of land are to be built in the Rio Yorde Valley of Arizona. The work is to be completed in eighteen months. It in cludes about 110 miles of canal, and a reservoir of immense capacity. A man whoso business it is to solicit subscribers for several medical peri odicals complains that doctors are feeling the hard times, remarks the Chicago Herald. Many decline to subscribe, and more who subscribe de lay payment. The fact is that many sick folks arc making shift to get along without the doctor, while some are seeking advice at the hands of less expensive men than they have usually employed. Professor G. Hall says: "Some years ago, by careful individual study, I found that sixty per cont. of the six year-old children entering Boston schools had never seen a robin, eigh teen per cent, had never seen a cow, some thinking it as big as theii thumb or the picture, thus making mere verbal cram of all instruction about milk, cheese, butter, leather, and no on. Over sixty per cent, had never seen growing corn, blackberries or potatoes; seventy-one per cent, did not know beans." The strugglo for supremacy between gas and electric light has been a do terminod one. Electric light lias made wonderful progress in point of cheap ness since 1877. but the gas men are also advancing. Formerly gas was j made wholly from coal. Later on coal and petroleum combined (known as water gas) came to the front nnd re- j duccd the ccst materially, an l now ' another big step has been taken —the ! production of gas wholly from petro leum. A plant of that description for making both fuel and illuminating gas is building at, Havorstraw, N. Y. Gas at fifty cents a thousand is bound to come, maintains the New York Re corder. The old Liberty Bell now rest in a handsome new case in the cast room of Independence Hall, Philadelphia. The case iR made of selected quartered i white oak, isfivo feet ten inches square and ton feet high. On each of the tour sides is a large plate glass over four feet wide and seven feet high in the center. At each corner is a bronzed pillar surmounted by neat carve l work, while over each of the glass sides is an arch with the names of thirteen orig inal States carved, that of Pennsyl vania being on the keystone. Facing the doorway leading down from the top, is a carved model of "Old Abe," the famous war eagle, the wings measuring fifty-four inches from tip I to tip. Beneath, on the top of the ' case, is the inscription copiod from the I bell, "Proclaim liberty throughout nil the world to all the inhabitants there of." On each corner of the tap is a polished bronze torch. The bell is i suspended within the case from the marred old yoke on which it hung when it made its historic peal. The yoke itself was made from a trco just ba.k of the hall. This is supported by columns of bronze and its columns rest on a truck, which fits snugly in side the case, an 1 appears to be sim ply a fioor. Beneath are four rubber tired wheels, which will p srmit a quick removal in case of fire. The new case, complete, cost #1501). THE ME KEY SIDE OF LIFE. C TORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Summer Days—Tlio Shoulder —On the ICdge -Speech That Was Gold en—Precaution, Kte., Etc. The sua his rnvs arc pouring down, The mercury runs high, The well-to-do are leaving town Tho bench resorts to try ; ' The solar llres a deep rich brown i Fair maiden's faces dye, An 1 oft tho b:ihl man slaps his crown, bur nev r hits the fly. —Now York Tress. TIIE SHOULDER. 1 J Father "My son, you want to put your shoulder to the wheel." j Sou—"l do, father—the cold i shoulder."—Truth. ON THE EDGE. j Bilge —"Are the Catchons in so ciety?" Mr. Bilk—"They are suburban resi dents of it." —Puck. SPEECH THAT WAS GOLDEN. Edith- "What did Mr. Lower say to you when he called last night?" Maud- "He made a ringing speech. See my finger." Truth. HE KNEW. "I don't think advertising pays." "\V hy, 1 once heard of a mun who got a wife by advertising." 4 'l'm that man." Truth. PRECAUTION. I Patient —"I wish to consult you in ' regard to my utter loss of memory." I Doctor— "Aw yes why—er—in | this class of cases I alway require my lee in advance." -Puck. INSTRUCTIONS. | New Train Robber —"And what am I I 1 > do if tin' passengers won't holdup I their h mils?" Old Train Robber - "Well, you might wait for the next train."— Ruck. HELP WANTED. Mrs. Young wife "Henry, T wish you woultl call the policeman to the loor and offer him a cigar." Mr. Y. -"Why?" Mrs. Y (desperately) "I'm going to discharge our cook." UI'TERLY DISCOURAGED. "These is terrible hard times," said Meandering Mike. "You bet they is," replied Plodding Rote. "A feller can't go nowhere j lookin' fur work nowadays without nevin' some offered hiui."--Washing ton Star. NOT DISCOURAGED. Teacher "You have failed in your history lessons every day this week." Boy (reluctantly) "Y-e-s-m." Teacher "What will you do when you grow up?" 1 Boy (brightly)—"l'll buy a cyclope dia."—Good News. PATIENCE NEEDED. New Arrival—"lf you'll show me where it is I'll take a spin on that lako that you advertised." Landlord (of country hotel) "Can't i you wait for a day or two?" | New Arrival "What for?" Landlord—"Until wo have a shower."—Judge. FAMILY RESEM BLANCITS. "And whom does your husband think the baby resembles?" "Ho thinks it resembles its uncle—a j brother of his." "I didn't know your husband had a brother." "Ho hasn't. It died when it was two days old." —Life. THE ONE THING NEEDFUL. Mother—"Jane, you must choose between the two. Will you marry tho man who loves you or the man who can dress you." Daughter—"Mamma, as. an up-to date girl, I must reply that although love is a very desirable thing, clothes are an absolute necessity."—New York Press. ALL RIGHT EITHER WAY. "Does tho fact that I have money make any difference to you, Herbert dear?" "Of course it does, my own. It is ' such a comfort to know that, if J should die you would be well pro-, vided for." "But suppose I should die?" "Then I should be well provided for."— Life. AN EMANCIPATED MISS. Young Saplicftd—"Do you know, Miss Vussar, I've a great mind to fwighten you by wocking the boat!" Miss \ assar (an athletic yoiiug woman) "A young man like you tried that with me once and tho boat upset." "Did it, wenlly? What, did you do?" "I swim ashore and notified the coroner." —Puck. IT ALL DEPENDS. "He doesn't amount, to a row of pins,' declared Spatts, speaking of an individual of whom he entertained H , poor opinion. "What sort of pins do you mean?" asked Bloobumper. "What difference does that make?" "J would make ipiite a difference if it were a row of diamond pins, for in stance. " —Truth. AT THE "SEA SPRAY COTTAGE." Brown—"Miss Blueserge has been absorbed in that paper for the last half | hour. I wonder what it is she finds so j interesting?" | Mrs. Jirown—"l saw it. It is an iteni reading: 'Among the recent j arrivals at. the Sea Spray Cottage is Miss Blueserge, of Brooklyn. She i will spend a few weeks at Clam Shell j Beach, prior to her departure lor tho / Catskills.''—Puck. AN EMBRYO SOLOMON. Little Clarence—"Pa!" Mr. Callipers—"That will do, my son! Ido not know how much of a snake is body and how much is tail, nor why Wednesday docs not come I on Saturday, nor anything of tho kind. You will save us both consider able trouble if you go to bed right away." j Clarence—"l wasn't going to ask < any questions, pa. .1 was only wonder i ing why almost everything worth having in this world is either unattain able, indigestible, unfashionable, or too expensive?"— Truth. HARRY'B ARITHMETIC. Harry had just begun to go to school, and was very proud of what he learned. One day he thought he'd show his father how much ha knew, and asked him at dinner: "Papa, how many chickens are there on that dish?" "Two, my boy," said papa. "I thought you knew how "to count?" "You're wrong," B aid Harry. 1 here are three. That's cue, that's two, and two and one make three." 'Very well, ' said his father, "your mother may have one for her dinner, I II take the other, and you can have the third."—Syracuse Post. The Nocturnal Migration of Birds. On September 20, 1891, it was the writer's good fortune to pass the night with several ornithologists at the Bar tholdi Statue in observing the noctur nal (light of birds. The weather was most favorable for our purpose. From the balcony at the base of the statue we saw the first bird enter the rays of light thrown out by the torch one hundred and fifty feet above us at eight o'clock. During the two suc ceeding hours birds were constantly heard and many wore seen. At ten o'clock A light rain began to fall and lor three hours it ramod intermit- I iontly. Almost simultaneously there occurred a marked increase in the number of birds seen about the light, and within a few minutes there wore hundreds where before there was one, while the air was filled with tho calls and chirps of the passing host. The birds presented a singular ap pearance. As they entered tho limits of the divergent rays of light they be came slightly luminous, but as their rapid wing beats brought them into the glare of the torch they reflected the full splendor of the light, and re sembled enormous fireflies or swaruis of huge golden bees. At eleven o'clock we climbed to tho torch and continued our observations from tho balcony by which it is en circled. The scene was improssivo be , yond description ; wo seemed to have torn aside the veil which shrouds tho mysteries of tho night, and in tho searching light reposed the secrets of nature. As the tiny feathered wan derers emerged from the surrounding blankness, appeared for a moment in tho brilliant halo about us, and con tinuing thoir journey wore swallowed up in the gloom beyond, ouo marveled at the power which guided them tuou sands of miles through the trackless heavens.—Popular Science Monthly. The Columbia River Salmon. "Oil a recent visit to the Pacifio coast," said Walter Stedmau, a New York drummer, at tho Lindell, last | night, "I paid a visit to one of tho I largo canning factories in Oregon, where tlic Columbia River salmon are packed and shipped all over tho coun try. It was a novel sight to me, and one in which I took a good deal of in terest. The fish are caught in nets and carried in boats to the factory, whero they are thrown upon a stage and lio in heaps, a thousand or so in a pile. You can see huge fish among them that weigh from thirty to sixty pounds. One Chinaman will seize a salmon, and, with a dexterous blow of a big knife, sever its head with ono stroke; another workman then grabs it and slashes oil tho fins and disembowels it. It. is then thrown into a vat, whore tho blood soaks out, and, I tell you, they bleed like a stuck pig. After repoated washings tho fish is cut into chunks, plunged into brino and stuffed into cans, the boues first being removed. Tho tops of tho cans, which have a 1 small hole in them, are then soldered on, and 500 or 000 of thom at a time uro plunged into boiling water, where they remain until the heat has expelled all the air. Then the little air hole in the top of tho lid is eoldered up and the salmon is ready for market."—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Athletes and Consumption. "There is very great danger of an nthleto dying of lung trouble if he ever ceases his sports," snid Professor A. C. Mathews. "In athletic exer cises large lungs arc required, and they become inflated beyond their natural size. If the athlete ceases his practice and adopts anything ap proaching a sedentary life, the lungs, falling largely into disuse, easily de cay, and the result is quick consump tion. It is frequently the case that young men in college who are athletic leaders after graduation go into stores, offices, or counting rooms, and in a few years die of consumption. Every one is surprised, and it is said, '►Such a strong, healthy man when he left college. Who would have thought he would die with consumption? Must have been hereditary.' As a matter of fact, he brought it upon himself, by failing to keep up ♦he practices that expanded his lungs."—Cincinnati Enquirer. ; UNCLE SAM'S ARMY. ' REGULARS AND MILITIA NUM. BER 125.000 MEN. Mow They Co-operate with Kit eh other —President Could C all Out then t'norffiin* Ized Militia, Wlilch IK Over 1.000.000 Men-Modern Military Discipline* Force* of the tnlled States. Tho calling out of Federal troops to suppress the r<Cent railroad riots in Chicago and in other parts of the country has necessarily put people to talking about the United States army. I he many years of peace in tho coun try have removed from tho minds of tho ] eople a good deal that is now of into. est. Tho following authoritative f-tatcment of the condition of tho army will bo appreciated by our readers: " _ Tho army of tho I nited States con sists of the following forces, in officers and men: Enlisted Avrio , , Officers. men. to. Ten cavalry regiments.. 4 2 6.0C0 g 482 ... e artillery renimonts. 280 3,075 8055 1 wenty-flyo inft'y regt mouts 877 12,123 13,002 Engineer battalion, re cruiting parties, ord nance department, hos pital service , liuiinn h outs, West Point, sik-- uul, and venerai service f-C7 /V.43 4.7C9 Total 2.166 25.9.12 18.148 Tlio United Statos is (liviclori into eight military departments, as follows: Department of the East (General c--. Howard)— Now En iejund States, Now .r.A York, New Jersey, y,-i\Pennsylvania, Del /A)f \ awaro, Maryland, /\/(l M-\ Virginia, West Vir- J/ Lgh) ) einia, North Caro /y" '' lla > South Oaro {tl y / Una, Georgia, Flor- I f ~[l ) Ida. Louisiana, Mis \ vm\ i-issippl, Alabama, \ I //) Kentucky, Tennes see, Ohio and the 1 // Pi triet of Colum- K /'A' I'epartmentofthe U**" Missouri (General DRinAiosii c:en. CAM-Miles) Michigan, pai m inudum Wisconsin, Indiana, Illinois. Missouri, Kansas, Arkansas, Indian and Oklahoma Territories. Department of Calif, rnia (General Ruger)—California and Nevada. Department of i'akota iGeneral Mer rit t' Minnesota, South Dadota (ex cepting so much as lies south of the forty-fourth parallel), North Dakota, Montana, and tho post of Port Yellow stone, Wyo. Department of Texas (General Whea tonj—St ito of Texas. Department of tho Platte (General Brooke j—lowa, Nebraska arid Wyorn '"g (excepting tho post of Fort Yellow h, m '43 /jV\ Wilir ff IKFAWTIIY AND < AVAfjRT tN FULL DRF.Bx ' ► tone, Wyo. , Utah, bo much of Idaho as lies ea.-t. of a lino formed by tho ex tension of tho western boundary of I tali to the northeastern boundary oi Idaho, arid so much of South Dakota as lies .south of the fortv-fourth par ullol. w 1 Department of tho Colorado (Gene ral AjcCook) Arizona. NewMexicoand Colorado. Department of the Columbia (Gene ral Otis Oregon, Washington, Idaho and . Ja'ka, excepting so much of Ida ho as is embraced in tho Department of tho Platte. Tho regular army of tho United . rates, as given above, consists of 20,- ( 00 mom. Only half of thoso would bo available for active service in the field. It w.iuld take I0,(!0<) men to guard tho government property throughout tho country. The Mllltln. Evory nation has a reserve, under its .w n y . on whioh its defen-o would fa.l upon the serious discomfi- i turo of tho regular army. This system •- a differs in each conn- ! ff try. In tho United /; , N - [ \ States the systems ; I adopted by tho vari ,V J ous States, although /'v f V * n many -r Ways, have a gener \' j it al conformity, and a \ i thorough li ndo r - <j II standing of the sys- W \i r torn of any one State /) 11 J will enable a person //. Jif to grasp the entire UaSsr- reserve system of a militiaman*. tho Unitod' States. The militia is di vided into two groat classes: first, the active or organized militia and tho unorganized militia. Tho first is vari ou-l\ called tho national guard, tho volunteer militia and the State guard or State national guard. Tho organ ized militia of tho United States is a little over 100,1)00 Vnon, while tho un organized is over 1.000.000. '1 ho requirements for enlistment in tho organized militia may bo stated an only thoso malo citizens betwoen tho ages of In and 45, except certain ones exempted by law. Tho exemptions may bo briefly stated as thoso serving in tho army and navy of the United States, those physically disqualified and those belonging to religious de nominations having an article of faith prohibiting the performance of mili tary duty. Persons are in somo exempted by service in the Jate war or for a certain length of service in the national guard. The Governor of each State is tho Commander-in-Chief of the natiorial gua'd of that State, and thjS recruit J lakes an Oath to bear true faith and | alle'gianco to the l T nitod States as well las to the Siato. Tn case the organized militia a: e insufficient the Governor can [ al! for recruits to till the companies to CATLING KIFI.T) GtTN. heir maximum strength or to form lew companies. In case these volun .cors are insufficient, ho may draft avon to to tho extent *of railing out -very one under the law liable to mill tary duty. The strength of tho national guard ami of the available arms bearing pop ulation of each of the States ami Ter ritories is as follows: Total Total com- Total avail ing- en- able for , Bionert. listed, aervlce. Alabama *203 2.602 160,n00 Arizona -20 . 203 16,5(0 \rktWßM 210 2.(91 KA.ooo • "lifornln 496 141,00) Colon. UO 73 716 86.0(0 onnectieut 19) 2,41:7 90,800 Delaware ... 65 663 88.000 District of Columbia ... 159 908 42 000 Florida 93 otn 47', 700 I •Jeorßin *274 2,67 265,006 'lVho 81 <26 10,500 I Illinois 327 3,820 644,0* 0 1 .'nuluna 274 2.667 463,000 l? wft 128 1,103 233,000 t ,rt 1.479 226,5" 0 Kentucky 11l 1.180 38!,noo liouisiana 114 1,4 1 nw.f-oo ?i ain ?-- f '9 1.014 97,600 Mu r.v laud 18) 1.676 176.000 \ aßMaeUiiHettH 401 6.',67 189,7 0 Michigan 193 2.746 Bls.r>oC Miuiicsotii 148 1,3,3 134,00 C MißHtesiuiJi 112 1.r.n0 110,000 Missouri 164 l.nta 860,000 Montana 44 SI:J 32,600 .ebraska 97 1,077 115,000 Nevada r> 11,90 .sow Hampshire 104 1.r.79 84,000 New Jersey 281 3,766 084,n00 £ cw 72 661 31.000 NcwNork 756 12,489 700,0 0 North Carolina 199 2,210 226,000 North Dakota 64 465 37,200 01110 368 4.296 600,000 '->rCKOn 115 960 4 4.400 Pennsylvania 63) 7.713 693.000 Rhode Inland 103 1,053 47,000 loiith Caioiiua 871 4,052 116!(HMJ Uoutli Dakota 41 470 61,200 t'ennessee 77 1,178 263,700 fexas 844 2,8 6 801,600 Vermont 7) 696 44,200 \? r tf 'lia 1,1 8,124 2-20,(0' Wnslilnatou 104 1,890 61,7imi West Virginia 87 775 90000 Wisconsin 18 2,163 287". 0 Wyoming il M>3 18.00<) Totals 8.198 102.599 9,144.500 The discipline and administration conform as nearly as possible to that of tho I'nited States army, as well as tho system of tactics and field exer cises. The great difference between this system and that of foreign coun tries is that tho servicesof our soldiers are voluntary, while in foreign countries they arc obligatory for a certain num ber of years. There are now hut two countries whero enlistments nro wholly voluntary, and these are Kngland and Iho I uited States. Jt will be seen by tho development of tho national guard during the last ten years that tho relation of tho national* guard to tho prople is being more deeply studied and the results more promptly acted upon than over hoforo. It is the samo aU over the United States equally; each State is becoming more desirou!: of perfecting the training of its citizen soldiery and awarding them more sup port than at any time in our national history. Patriots of the Future. Jt is less than fifty years since the whole military and naval world to lieved that discipline could bo main lainoil only by forco of knocking down, whipping, bucking and gagging, tying n]) by tho thumbs and various othoi methods of 1 arbarous torture. The actual oxporionco of tho last thirty years lias demonstrate 1 thafdlsciplino ■an be maintainod without tho inrtic tion of such punishments. Tho older method was to drill the snldior into n mechanical machine, caring little or nothing about his individual intelli gence, hut undor more modern tactics and with improved firearms this mechanical perfection is not so es sential as formerly. Tho old ramrod'stiffness of the sol dier is disappearing: ho is no longer huttonod. broechod and belted as il poured into a mold. His little linger, for gom-rationi pinned to tho seams ol his trousers, lias at last a 'quired a nat (t\A W/\ MAJOR GENERAL OF TRK ARMY. Ural swing. More careful study ol military ethics has demonstrated the asoiessless as well as the barbarity ol laying every man in a Procrustean bod and requiring tho samo exactitude from the loo.se-jointod and compactly built. At the same time a long and care iul training is necessary to the making of a gocd soldiery. Once a Frenchman is uniformed and a musket is put into his hands, ho is ready to cry "Vive la France," ready to maroh beneath thotri-doldr Pa? wherever hd . .I, but it in a very fallacious idea to think that a soldier can be made simply by dressing a man in uniforui and putting a musket in his hands. the shouldor-to-shoulder courage, that Comes of discipline is indispensa ble) but it must yield precedence to that courage which comes of intelli gence, self-reliance, and of perfect knowledge of the use of weapons, and what the individual must do to protect himself while inflicting the greatest possible damage upon the enemy. In this intelligence the national guard is a oil equipped, all being men of intelli gence and fair education. General Sheridan's opinion of tho militia was that in time of war it would prove itself the equal of any trained Boldiors. The national guard has done much for iGelf, and is deserving of the high est praise. Devoting time, monoy und talents to the service of tho State without pay, struggling a'ong without proper armories, drilling without proper arms, equipment or clothing, and abovo all without the moral sup port and courteous attention of tho pooplo at largo, it has vouched a high FIELD THUKB* POrNDEP. point of excellence. In no eae ha? tho militia been cowardly or inefficient. It takes much more courage for men to walk along tho streets, silently and steadily, sub.acted to jeers and scoff ing and sometimes even showers of missiles, when they have their uni forms on and guns in their hands, than it does to load and fire. Tho ideas indulged in by many in the dim ages of the past and by some of the fo sils and narrow-minded people of to day that it is all fun for tho militia— that tho officers and men comprising the national guard have no other end in view bettor* than a glittering uni form and a fourth of July Hail Colum bia parade day, and that the militia ought at all t mes to be ready to do tho work of some officer of tho law—pay their own way. buy their own uniforms, get shot, and thank Cod and the State for the use of an antiquated musket— have long since exploded, together with the musket. Tho militia of to-day is j the great training Rchool for tho pa- < 3?' CAvAORYMAN IN IIKAVY MARCHING ORDRR. triots of the future: it in unon this that the country must ilopond for the spirit which promjits all horoi-m and all na tional feeling: it is upon this that we must rely to keep alive the veneration and reverence for the national flag. Vertical Handwriting. The vertical system of handwrit ing. which was introduced into tho Samuel Ready school in Raltimoro several years ago, says the Sun ol that city, is now occupying the at tention of a number of Northern ed ucators. who advocate its use in tho public schools. It is being intru de cd in many public schools, and its advocates say it promises to ho the penmanship of the future. It Is said tho Samuel Ready school was tho pioneer in introducing the ter tide system into this country, having begun Its use when the institution was opened in September, iss7. the little pupils there have acquired remarkable case and prollcicucy in their penman manship whi h presents tho rare combinations of perfect legibility, mature style, and attractive appear ance. Jn the vortical handwrltiug tho writer sits squarely in front of the desk, with I ody erect, and the pen is held in an easy, straight posi tion. Miss Helen .1. Rowe, principal of tho Samuel Ready school, says she has found the ob ection which some have made to the vertical system, that it destroys individuality in handwriting, is not based on good grounds. After the pupils have ac quired ease in writing, she says, their individuality quickly shows in their penmanship, while at the same time the general principles learned from the copybooks are adhered to. Opera (ilassrs. A novel and Ingenious attachment for opera classes has been patented by a gentleman residing near Sydney, New South Wales, that will enable the user to see behind as well as be fore. The patent takes the form of a removable frame carrying the ad justing mechanism for a pair of re flectors, which are intended to bo placed in front of the object glasses of the opera glasses. Any desired inclination can be givep to these re flectors. The invention is also ap plicable to telescopes. HlGHS —Figgs is prospering, isn't he? Hatch—Oh, yes: he's got now to where he can sass his butcher,'" A LESSON IN LOVE. "Love is not wise*. 11 thoy say— Tboso sage advisers that have lived and died, . And in their sterner moments put aside Tho arch intruder from their way , "Love is not wise," they say. They seek to frighten thee— Thou who art far from thoir old, stupid world, And on tho airy wings of youth art whirled Abovo all practicality; They seek to frighten thee. Decline their wisdom now ; And seek that only that our hearts perceive, Only that grand, great bliss which I believe Comes from our spirits.' secret vow— Decline thoir wisdom now ! —Edmond Picton, in Times-Democrat. II HMO It OF THE DAY. Money talks—in all languages. Truth. A receiving teller—The scandal bearer.—Truth. Fame is smely a bubble; for plenty of "soap" will make it.—Puck. There is a little wolf and a lifctlo rabbit in every man.—Atchison Globe. In the grammar of femininity two negatives make two affirmatives.— Puck. Most meu and their stomachs don't understand each other. Atchison Globe. Let us be frank, and admit that we are all somewhat gossipy.—Atchison Globe. The fat man iR nn example of those who have greatness thrust upon them. —Truth. The difficulty in chasing men lies in getting them started to rim.—Atchi son Globe. Tolerance is the admission of the right of other people to hold wrong views.—Puck. There is no success so sweot as the success achieved by acting against the advice of our friends.—Puck. "And do you think Binks cati till the requirements of the place?" ".VI m, well—if it requires Binks, he can." —Puck. No man will ever amount to much who labors under tho impression that somebody else is always in his way.— Dallas News. "Does your wife put up all her can stuff herself?" "Certainly. Self-pres ervation is the first law of nature."—• Boston Transcript. Priscilla —"I want to get a gown to match my complexion." Perdita— "Why don't you get a hand-painted one?"— Brooklyn Life. Ho who thinks that imagination is solely an attribute of youth should chat a while with one of our "oldest inhabitants."—Truth. Caller—"Your son graduated from college this year, did lie not?" Mrs. Malaprop—"Yes; he was valetudinari an of his class."—Puck. There are times when tho man who thinks he lills the public eye merely occupies the position of a speck of dust. —Milwaukee Journal. Training will do much for a man; but it will not teach him never to neglect to look for the towel before ho tills his eyes full of soap.—Puck. According to Kipling, the elephant is A gentleman. Nonsense ! Who over heard of a gentleman carrying his trunk himself? —Boston Transcript. Tho world no doubt owes a great many people a living; but tho records do not show that it ever has assigned for the benefit of its creditors.—Puck. Though woman, lovely woman Boinotim'S Tails to have her way. You can bet your button dollar That she'll always have her say. —lutlianaDOlis Journal. A ton-cent box of blacking, proper* ly applied, will command more re spect than a hundred dollar diamond and rusty footwear on a man who is seeking work.—Washington Star. "There is more pleasure in giving than receiving," was the proverbHhat a mother was trying to instill into a youthful mind. "That's true about castor oil, mother," was the answer sho got.—New York Advertiser. It has 1-ccn said that there is some tiling not unpleasing to us 111 the mis fortunes of our friends. While most likoly this is true, yet pleasure, at the misfortunes of our euemios, is still do ing business at the old stand.—Puck. Haughty Lady (who has just pur chased a stamp) "Must I put it on myself?" Postoffico Assistant (very politely) —"Not neeossarily, ma'am; it will probably accomplish more if you put it on tho letter."—Newark Led ger. He—"l had a queer dream about you last night, Miss Louisa. I was about to givo yon a kiss, when sud denly we were separated by a river that grndually grow as big as the Bhine." She—"And was there no bridge or no bout?"—Fliogeude Blaet tor. "How many feet ought I to huve to tho line for this poem?" asked the young man, as he sauntered careless ly into the editor's office. "I hardly know," woarily replied tho gloomy man of shears, "but if I had a thou sand I would gladly give them to you."—Atlanta Constitution. The Telegraph in China. A Chinese engineer, educated in New Haven, Conn., has nearly completed a telegraph line, 3000 miles long, across the Gobi desert, from Pekin to Kash gar, Chinese Turkestan. It has been three years under construction, and poles in places were liauledjfiOO miles. French lines connect it with the Rus sian system.—Literary Digest. Only eight per cent, of the popula tion of St. Louis, Mo,, live in tene ments.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers