France ia the onlvEuropean country
which has to-day fewer able men than
it had thirty years ago.
j
' There have been no train or stage
robberies in California Binee that State
declared those offenses to be capital
' The Sou Francisco Examiner thinks ]
that the tendency of the ministers of
the Gospel to fiud their text in the
daily paper is not to be censured.
V A correspondent who has made a
Study of the subject, saya there are
51,000 breweries in the world, and that
Germany heads the list with 26,1110.
In India the work of Christian En
deavor is being vigorously pushed snd
the constitution, which is now trans- j
lated into six of the languages of In
dia. is being largely circulated.
The New York Observer remarks
It is u well known fact that child life
Sn the city is at a disadvantage as com
pared with a rural environment, but
we were hardly prepared for the state
ment that "the 'expectation of life' at
the birth of a child in central Man
chaster is twelve years less than that 1
of a child in the whole of England and
■Wales." The statement is appalling.
The late Lucy Stone was the eighth
of nine children, and the night before
her birth her mother milked eight
cows. When she learned the child's
eex she said: "Oh, dear, I'm sorry
it's a girl—a woman's life is so hard!"
liiicy, even when yet a child, adds the
Detroit Free Press, became indignant
at the injustice done to women by the
world and resolved with infantile
•spirit to remedy the matter when she
grew up.
The opening of the Manchester ship
canal, which has been arranged for
the Ist of January, is a very important
matter in the South, declares the At
lanta Constitution. Three-fourths of
the cotton consumed in Great Britain
Is taken in the Manchester district,
and within carting distance of the
Manchester docks. The cotton spin
ners of that ilistrict have signed, or
are signing, a circular informing the
growers and shippers of the United
States that in purchasing they will
give preference to cotton shipped
direct to Manchester, fn addition to
this the saving in charges, as com
pared with Liverpool, will amount to
thirty cents a bale. Two atenmships
have already been placed to sail from
New Orleans and arrangements are |
making for a steamship to leave Gal
veston. Later there will be steam
ships plar> 1 s t Savannah and Charles
ton for the shipment of cotton direct
to Manchester.
Mr. O, Chanute, formerly President |
of the American Society of Civil En- j
gineers, who lias devoted much atten
tion to arial navigation, thinks that
the chief pi. t, 1, *in that still remains to
be solved IBthe mastery of the practical
art of managing tlving machines—the I
art of starting, balancing, navigating ;
and alighting. There is much reason in '
this view, comments the San Francisco ■
Examiner. If nobody in the world
had etrei tailed even a canoe, and an ■
inventor, by native ingenuity and the |
application of sound mathematical i
principles, should design a full-rigged
•hip, he might have trouble the first
time he put to sea in her. Yet his
situation would be less precarious than
that of the first adventurer to launch
himself into the uncertain air. Prob
ably the labors of the engineers will
have to be supplemented by a good
many broken necks of practical navi
gators before we sail the blue as com
fortably as the birds.
Havs the Washington Star: War
bnrton Pike, an Englishman and an
explorer, has just returned to civiliza
tion after a lengthy sojourn in Central
Alaska, which, by the way, is more of
an uncertain land than was Central
Africa prior to the advent of Stanley
on the dark continent. Mr ['ike is
satisfied that except as a game preserve
the interior of Alaska is worthless,
and at present anything like a dispute
over that allegation is not possible be
cause there is no one who can argue
with Mr. Pike, but it will be well to
remember that English opinion as to a
country's value is not always reliable.
Great Britain might still have pos
eessed much of the northwestern terri
tory now belonging to the United
States the States of Washington
Idaho and Montana— had not the
brother of the then Premier of E n
laud been traveling in tlie disputed
region. He was a sportsman, and
cause the salmon in the Columbia
River would not rise to a fly he said
that the country was not worth ipiar
reluig over. His testimony was s.-
cepteil, hilt in view of later develop,
thtuta teeuicd to lis rather itlioulne
The public and private indebtedness
of the world is estimated to be SIOO,-
000,000,000.
The Swiss Government has ordered
that hereafter all slaughtered cattle
must be made insensible before the
knife is used.
A sage complains that while it is
true that "man wants but little here
below," the trouble is that that little
is usually in someone else's possession.
An European mathematician of
world-wide celebrity claims that from
a single potato a careful cultivator
could raise 10,000,000,000 tubers with
in a period of ten years.
The San Francisco Chronicle esti
mates that at the present rate of con
quest and colonization savage Africa
will be a thing of the past before the
tirst quarter of the twentieth century
is rounded out.
A correspondent of the Baltimore
Sun asserts that "there is no such
thing in all this world as sewer gas,"
and, further, that "there is no evi
i dence whatever in fact and no ground
for believing in the theory that the
emanations from a sewer are in any
wise unwholesome."
Many lakes have been formed along
the banks of the South Canadian River
in Oklahoma, some of which are many j
square miles in extent. They are
caused, explains the New York Post,
by the sand blowing out of the river
until a high embankment is formed
along the shores, and behind the bank
are formed the lakes.
An elderly gentleman of wide travel
and close observation remarked re
cently, after reading the story in the
New York Times of a cruel murder,
that he had long been of the opinion
that the greatest calamity that has be- |
fallen the human race in modern times
wbh the invention of the revolver. It
is too easily carried, and too handy.
The report from South A fries that :
the British recently slaughtered the I
Matabeles like sheep is probably well
founded, says the San Francisco Chron
ical. The English have never been
noted for their tender regard of the
aborigine. The pioneers of South
Africa, like those of Australia, regard
the natives as hindrance to the develop- ,
nient of the country, and any pretext j
which can be used to justify killing or i
driving them out of a district is eagerly
welcomed.
The St. Louis Star-Sayings thinks
that "one of the most gratifying
signs of the times is the operation of
the law requiring all navy ships to be
built At home, from materials of
domestic production ; American ships
in American bottoms and the estab
lishment of ship yards capable of
turning out vessels of war of the high
est speed and capacity. It is n grow
ing enterprise and gives employment
to thousands of American laborers,
and soon we may anticipate that in
stead of going to other countries for
ideas and methods in ship armor and
gun construction we shall l ave the
foreigners coming to us to learn."
America holds the record in many
natural wonders and artificial
triumphs, boasts the Washington Htar.
The largest lake in the world (Su
perior), the longest river (Missouri), j
the largest park (Yellowstone), the
finest cave Ithe Mammoth), the i
greatest waterfall (Niagara) and the !
only natural bridge (in Virginia) are |
to be found within the border* of [
the United Htntee, and here the big- !
I gest fortunes are made, the most ener- j
J getic commercial enterprises under
taken, the largest deals are effected,
; and the most wonderful inventions
j are perfected, while the country
produces a greater amount of raw
material than any other.
The zone system of railroad rates
which is so successfully operated in
Hungary, has made a deep impression
upon James L. Cowlee, well known in
railroad circles. He says : "Distance
costs practically nothing in the
transportation of freight or of pas
sengers, and, therefore, distance
should be disregarded in the dis
crimination of rates. The rate now
charged for the shortest distance for
any particular service is the rate that
should Imi adopted for all distances.
When once a train starts from Boston
to San Fraucisco, there isn't a man
living that can tell the difference in
cost of running that train, whether h
passenger leaves the train at the first
station out of Boston or goes through
from the Atlantic to the Pacific Coast."
Mr. Cowles further says that there is
""t. ten dollars difference between
mining a train from Chicago to Ne*
Vork, full of pamvugei't or emptjv
RETROSPECT.
Hie roses were not just so sweef. perhaps,
As wo thought they would surely be,
And tho blossoms were not so pearly white
As of yore, on the orchard tree j
But the summer has gone for all of that,
And with Slid reluctant heart
We stand at rich autumn's open door
And watch Its form depart.
The skies were not just so blue, perhaps,
As we hoped they would surely be,
Aud the waters were rough that washed our
boat,
Instead of the old calm sea ;
But the summer has gone for all of that,
Ami the golden rod is here ;
We can see tho gleam of its golden sheen
In tho hand of the aging year.
The rest was not quite so real, perhaps,
As wo hoped it might prove to be,
For instead of leisure came work sometimes'
i And the days dragged wearily .
! But the summer has gone for all-of thr.f,
i The holiday time is o'er,
And busy hands in Ihe harvest field
, Have garnered their golden store.
I The summer was not such a dream, perhaps,
Of bliss as wo thought 'twould be,
j And the beautiful things wo planned to do
! Went amiss for you and me ;
j Vet still it is goue for all of that,
I Anil we lift our wistful eyes
To the land where beyond the winter suows
Another summer lies.
—Kathleen R. Wheeler, in Lippincotl's.
THE LAST*SCHOLAR.
BY ROBERT BEVEW.Y HAI.E.
used to be the ■
■=J|J fashion to go to j
II Miss Lepington's j
'J II school when my
R mother was a girl.
rrrr/T I . j | II Schools came into
I H fashion just as
iyi | H crinolines and
V ' j jf puffy sleeves do.
jji 1 M I knowforanum
-11 ill yr her of reasons that
'' waH " le mos f!
| fashionable girls'
school in my:
- mother's time;
and what makes it perfectly certain
is that my mother would never have
gone to it unless it had been. Miss
Lepington used to limit the number of
scholars to forty ; and there were many
stories current as to the early applica
tions made for a place in that school.
It w as no uncommon thing for a happy
father to send in an application as soon
as a daughter was horn; and it wns
said that when Tom Snelling and
Eunice Dunbar were engaged, they
wrote to Miss Lepington that in case
they were married anil had a daughter
they wanted a place reserved for her.
I don't exactly know whether to be
lieve that or not. Ido know that my
mother applied only si* years before
hand ; hut then her mother knew Miss
Lepington very well, and BO Miss Lep
ington was probably willing to strain
a point.
But things cannot always stay in
fashion. Hoop skirts went out of style
after a time, and over so many crino
line makers were ruined. Even these
! bountiful great sleeves must go out of
; fashion. I greatly fear that they may
have disappeared before this story
conies out. And Miss Lepiugton's
school went out of fashion, too. You
see, Miss Lepington would not have
Herman taught at her school; and
i there was Miss Cartwright's school
lliat had a second cousin of Goethe's
as a German teacher ; and nowadays,
of course, every girl ought to know
German. That was only one reason
out of a dozen for tho falling off in
pupils.
Miss Lepington must have notieod
the diminution in applications;
! but she did not seem to. She
\ was sterner than ever in her re
quirements. She had never taken
j any one whose grandfather was not
I "somebody," she said, and she never
would. So at last the time came
when there were only thirty-live
pupils; and then the remaining ones
dropped off, one by one, in away that
pains me to tell of.
But Miss Lepington never thought
of giving up teaching. She was just
as erect as in the old days, and a little
stricter ; and she taught just as well as
ever—much better, I don't doubt,
than Miss Cartwright, whose ancestors
were I don't know what when the
Lepingtons were lolling at their eAse
in Lepington Manor, or fighting for
their king at Agincotirt.
I suppose one reason the pupils
stopped coming was because Hanover
street deteriorated so. Every one
lives on Enderby square now, or else
on Collingwood avenue, and you can't
really expect a girl of fifteen to walk
past all those queer shops on Hanover
street. It is a strange old place, and
one wonders how it could ever have
been so fashionable.
Miss Lepington had a nephew,
Densil Smith, of Srniib, Alen & Com
pany. They lived together in an old
house on Puritan square. He was
rich, and she must have been quite
well off herself. He was so wrapped
up in his business that he never knew
much about her school. He may have
had some little suspicion of what was
going on ; but one of hit business rules
was to get everything at first hand.
His news about Miss Lepington's
school was always derived from Miss
Lepington herself, and thus he thought
he was sure to know the truth. He
was the only friend of Miss Loping
ton'a who did not know it.
The school grew smaller and smaller,
till there were only twenty pupils.
Then ten of these left in a body to go j
to Miss Curtwright's. Then the rest
deserted, one by one, until —I don't j
like to say it—until Constance Alford :
| was the only pupil in Miw Lepington's
school. And now the worst is said, .
j for if any one were to have a school
with one scholar, Constance would be
just the scholar to have.
ftbv lwyn ecemttl ty m aiwc like
a character in a story than a girl in
every day life. She was very beauti
ful, in the first place, and very amiable,
and very good; and she was, as you
nee, so loyal that she stayed with Miss
Lepington after every one else had
deserted her.
"I shall undertake the first class in
French myself this morning, Constance.
I have severed my connection with
Mile. Deroulet, and until such time as
1 have a new instructress, I shall dis
| charge the duties of the position my
self."
Constance took out her French
books and followed Miss Lepington
out of the de -erted schoolroom iuto
the recitation room.
"Read, Constance, if you please."
Constauce read. She read so sweetly
in any language that it was hard even
| for Miss Lepington to find fault. I
should like to hear her read Russian,
but then I was always very fond of
Constance Alford.
1 'Look out for your 'puis,' Constance.
Did not Mademoiselle tell you how to
j pronounce that word? Now after me :
! puis."
"Puis," said Constance.
"That is more tolerable ; but practise
it, my dear, before the mirror. The I
lips must move in one particular way. j
You can always discover a Parisian by j
the way he pronounces 'puis."'
And so on, till at last the French
was over. Then there was the study
hour, and then the English literature
class, which Miss Lepington taught
herself, for she had "severed her con
nection" with all the assistants except
old Miss Nutting, who came in to teach
drawing once a week. And Constance
Alford often told me that she was very
glad to get rid of the other instructors,
for Miss Lepington was an excellent
teacher, though perhaps a trifle too
narrow in some ways.
After English literature came recess.
This was the first break in the dignity
of the school. Constance found a
chair and drew it up close to Mies
Lepington's, and then they ate their
lunch together, and talked affection
ately, for they were very fond of each
other.
"Did you know t waseighteen years
old to-day?" said Constance.
"Why, my dear child?" cried Miss
Lexington. "And I have not given
you a present."
"YeH, you have, dear," said Con
stance (she never called Miss Leping
ton "dear" during school hours). "You
give 1110 a present of something every
time you teach rae. But I have some
thing to tell you ; but I hardly dare."
"Not quite so many 'huts,' " said
Miss Lepington, stroking her favorite
(and only) pupi.'s hand.
"Yes, dear, all the 'huts' I want in
recess," said Constance, mischievously.
"What do you think I have done?"
"Become engaged to be married?"
Constance burst out laughing.
"Right the first time! Oh, how ro
j mantic you are, dear ! I never should
have believed it."
I Miss Lepington blushed. "Not
I romantic, my child. Perhaps it is that
I know a little of the world. My dear
i Constance, I hope that you will be
| very, very happy. I am confident that
the geutloinan both is and will be so.
' Who is he?"
! 'Slack Mackenzie," said Constance.
"He's splendid. But I haven't told
you everything. I thought—l hoped
you wouldn't mind—l—well—l think
that he rang the door bell just now.
Did you hear it? T asked him to come
here to see you and me. You don't
mind, do yon, dear?"
Miss Lepington tried to look stern ;
hut she couldn't. No one could look
stern at Constance. Miss Lepington
i did look in the glass to see tfiat her
hair was all right, and then changed
her spectacles for her eyeglasses.
"You were indiscreet, ray child, to
ask a young gentleman to a girls'
I school; but since he is here, of course
we must welcome him. Jane, show
j Mr. Mackenzie in."
1 "I hope you will pardon my intra
i sion," said .lack as he came forward.
"But I was so anxious to meet the
lady who has been so intimate with
Constance; and Constance would have
me see you where she had known you
and grown so fond of you. Will you
forgive me?"
Miss Lepington blushed again. She
was not used to fine speeches from
young men. "No one can be dis
pleased with Constance," she said,
"and I begin to think that her fiance
shares her immunity."
After that the three had a nice talk
about the old school; aud Constance
told several anecdotes, which Miss Lep
ington had never heard before, about
things that had gone on under the
teacher's nose; and Miss Lepington
told the two young people stories about
their mothers, who had been class
mates, and pointed out the desks where
they had sat.
The time for the recitation in nat-
| ural liißtory was past, and they were
i in the middle of the hour for Latin
grammar, and still Jack stayed on. At
last he rose to go, and Constance rose,
too. They took hold of each other's
hands and stood facing Miss Leping
ton. And then suddenly Miss Leping
ton understood what was going to hap
pen.
Jack had come to take Constance
away.
Miss Lepington was a consummate
mistress of her emotions, and yet Con
, stanco is very sure that her dear old
teacher's eyes were full of tears.
| "Good by, Constance," she said, af
ter a pause. "I need not tell you to
he a good girl. See that you deserve
j her, Mr. Mackenzie."
, ' 'l can't," said Jack, "but I'll try."
Constance and Miss Lepington kissed
I each other and parted ; and the two
. lovers went out, leaving the teacher
alone in the deserted schoolroom. Just
h they passed the doorway, Constance
looked back and saw Miss Lepington
with her head bowed over the desk.
Ooustauce had novel' eeii that head
; bp wed before.
"Densil," said Miss Lepington the
next morning at breakfast, "I am go
ing to discontinue teaching. Yester
day was the last day of school. "
Mr. Densil Smith looked up with liis
spoon half way to his month.
"Have your pupils been dropping
off?" he inquired.
"Yes. One of the dearest I ever had
left yesterday."
"Why, that's too bad. But think of
the rest of them," said Mr. Smith sym
pathetically. "Don't leave them sud
denly this way."
"Thank you for your kind interest,
Densil. But I assure you there is no
alternative. Let us change the sub
ject. Have you heard that Miss Al
ford and Mr. Mackenzie are engaged
to be married? I have been thinking
of what I shall give them for a wedding
present, and have finally definitely de
cided upon the school-house. I have
no further need of it."
And that is how Constance and I
came to set up housekeeping in Han
over street. —Munsey's Magazine.
A Rawhide Cannon.
A Syracuse man named La Tulip,
has invented a cannon known as the
La Tulip rawhide gun, of which great
things are expected. One of the guns,
made by its inventor, was tested at
Onondaga Valley. It weighs in the
neighborhood of 400 pounds, while the
cannon of the same calibre in use by
the army weighs nearly 1500. Its pe
culiarity lies in its lightness and the
easy manner in which it can be trans
ported. Across the breech it measures
about fourteon inches, and tapers to
about six at the muzzle. A forged
steel cone forming the barrel runs to the
full length, and is only three-quarters
of an inch in thickness. Then comes
layer after layer of the finest rawhide,
compressed until it has the strength
of steel. In fact, its toughness and
staying powers are said to exceed steel.
The rawhide is put on iu strips coiled
around and around, and is several inches
in thickness. On top of this lie two
coils of steel wire wound to its strong
est tension and then filed smooth. The
cap placed at the breech can be easily
removed for inspection of the rawhide
filling. The tests were pronounced
successful, and further trials will be
had. A five-inch bore will be con
structed as soon as possible, and when
mounted upon a movable carriage it
will then demonstrate whether it can
be used effectively. The five-inch
caanon will be smooth bore and used
to discharge dynamite cartridges, a
trial of which will be made. Freder
ick La Tulip, the inventor, has been a
worker of rawhide for twelve years and
is conversant with it in every detail.
Rome (N. Y.) Sentinel.
Origin of the Word "Trolley."
Most persons who use the word "trol
ley" probably do not know the origin
of this term, or why this name was
given to that apparatus by which the
electricity is conveyed from an aerial
wire. Twenty years ago, the word was
used to designate "a form of truck
which can be tilted, for carrying rail
road materials or the like." This is
the only definition of the word in
Webster's Dictionary of the edition of
1848. In the edition of 1892 of the
same work, three other definitions are
added. 1. "A narrow cart that is
pushed by hand or drawn by an ani
mal." It is noted that this meaning
of the word is in use in England, not
in the United States. 2. "A truck
from which the load is suspended on
some kinds of cranes." This meaning
is technical, according to Webster, and
employed only in speaking of machin
ery. 3. "(Electric railway.) A truck
which travels along the fixed conduc
tors. and forms a means of connection
between them and a railway car." It
is easy to see how the primitive form
of the electric trolley, which travels
upon the wires, came to receive it
name from the resemblance to othe
types of trolley ; and the name, liAvinj i
been immediately given to its prim
itive form, was naturally retained whejt
the method of connection was changed
from a little truck moving on a wire,
to a mast having at its end a wheel
pressing on the lower service of the
wire.— Detroit Free Press.
A Rattler's Bite.
I send you recipe for the bite of a
rattlesnake that I will warrant to cure
in ninety-nine cases out of every hun
dred. 1 have known it tried for forty
years in Illinois and have used it on
several animals that were bitten by
rattlesnakes since coming to Florida,
and have never known it to fail in a
single instance.
Thoroughly soak the wound and the
swellejl part with pure hog's lard, and
let the patient drink one half pint of
this melted lard. In severe cases re
peat it in half an hour and give all
the sweet milk that patient can drink.
This kills the poison almost immedi
ately, and the swelling will disappear
in a few days. A horse or a cow must
be drenched with a much larger dose,
but dogs will eagerly eat lard and
drink milk, even when their heads are
so swollen that their eyes are closed
and the yellow saliva is running from
their mouths. Don't call in a doctor
ix bitten by a rattler (as they are more
dangerous than the snake), but use the
abowe remedy, and I will warrant a
cure.—Jacksonville Times-Union.
Action of Cold and Heat.
The generally accepted theory of the
cooking of meat relates to the appli
cation of heat, but Dr. Hawiczovosky
has called attention to the fact that
almost precisely the same chemical
and physical changes can bo accom
plished by exposing animal flesh to ex
treme cold. Meat subjected to a de
gree of cold equal to fifty degrees
below the zero of Fahrenheit's ther
mometer looks and tastes exactly like
I meat boiled in fresh water. —St. Loui/
i Republic*
Black net is wrought with silver.
England is said to have over 1,000,
000 widows.
Shoe strings and corset laces ar
now tipped with gold.
Mink collarettes are to be worn at
much as usual this winter.
Two fifteen-year-old girls have passed
the entrance examination to Yale Col
lege.
Before long women will be admitted
to German universities on an equal
footing.
A German lady of wealth and posi
tion has founded a school of garden
ing for women.
The Duchess of Fife recently landed
in one day seven salmon, weighing from
six to ten pounds.
That phenomenal young sculptor,
Theo Alice Buggies, is uow the wife of
Henry Kitsou, himself a worker in the
plastic art.
Persian Jamb, astiachau, mink,hear,
monkey, lynx, murten and beaver are
all popular furs for trimming uso or
for whole garments.
Hereafter the junior fellowship of
Dublin (Ireland) University will be
open to female and mule students on
the same conditions.
There are 600 women journalists,
editors and authors iu England and
Wales, according to the British census
reports just published.
The uew medical school of Tufts Col
lege, College Hill, Mass., open to both
sexes, has been formally opened in
Boston with a class of sixty assured.
Mrs. Hermann Oehlrichs, a rich
New York lady, is a member of the
"Needlework Guild," which makes
garments for the poor and the desti
tute.
Black silks, especially the thick,
soft-finished silks, are coming into
competition with satin-duchesse for
combinations for velvets, black or col
ored.
Narrow elongated half-moons in dia
monds make pretty brooches, and these
pinned into the hair at the top of a
coil have all the appearance of a dia
mond comb.
A decided novelty in Dresden china
is a fruit knife stand. In shape it
somewhat resembles a little bottleless
caster with receptacles for knives iu
the upper band.
Swedish women often work as farm
laborers. Those who have babies carry
them on their backs in a leather bag,
as squaws carry their young. This
plan permits the mother to use both
hands at her farm work.
The Czarina of Russia, although em
ploying a houseful of seamstresses,
makes nearly all the clothing for her
youngest children, and also takes their
new hats to pieces and trims them ac
cording to her own taste.
The Empress of Austria has to give
a written receipt for the State jewels
every time shu wears them, and her
majesty, as a result, usually contents
herself with her private collection,
which is worth 51,500,000.
A novel feature introduced at a wed
ding recently was that all of the house
guests inscribed their names on a roll
of vellum, which was afterwards in
serted in a filigree silver tube, which
was presented to the bride.
Mrs. R. E. Willard is an enterpris
ing Chicago woman. Hho is the pro
prietor of a barber shop which boasts
six chairs, each one in charge of a wo
man barber. Each of the assistants
makes sl2 a week and half of all they
take iu over $23.
The very newest fashion among the
ladies of St. Petersburg, Russia, is to
arm themselves with long canes when
they go abroad. Some of these canes
measure six to seven feet in length,
and as the ladies stalk along they seem
at a distance stalwart amazons who
have supplied themselves with small
scaffolding poles or plucked up young
trees.
The so-called gold bonnets, with
crowns of bullion embroidery, are very
effective with pleated brims of brown
velvet trimmed with parrots' wings
standing out from choux of white chif
fon edged, with gold picot loops.
White satin ribbon strings two inches
wide start from the back, and are tied
under the chin in a stiff bow.
The death is onnounced of Miss E.
E. J. Crop, the first woman who
crossed the Atlantic from England in
a steamer. On April 8, 1838, she
sailed from Bristol in the Great Wes
tern, under the command of Captain
Hosken, Koyol Navy, who obtained
special commission to command a
merchant vessel. The voyage was ac
complished in fifteen days. She was
the only female passenger on board.
Amateur skirt dancing has been
ousted in Australia by the skipping
parties, which are all the craze just
now in fashionable circles. Mrs. Ru
pert Clarke is responsible for intro
ducing this fascinating form of enter
tainment to Melbourne society. Tour
naments are held on to the asphalt
tennis courts, and valuoble prizes are
offered by many hostesses for the lady
who skips most gracefully and most
successfully.
Miss Cleveland, of South Pasadena,
Cal., a cousin of President Cleveland,
has started a charity of her own in
that city. She is fitting up a house
she owns as a home for children whose
parents are too poor to provide for
them. Miss Cleveland is a bright,
active woman of seventy. She does
her own hoiiskeoping work, and de
votes several hours a day to teaching
her little charges, whom she feeds and
clothes at Uev owu expense,
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Oraphlrally Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
—A Itudget of Fun.
Sprinkles of Spice.
UNCLE SAM (to the boomers): "That
settles it."—Galveston News.
THE shotgun should meet the rob
ber who attempts to rifle pockets.—
Picayune.
A MAN on pleasure bent may have
acquired a shoulder stoop from bicy
cle riding.
IT is the telescope which lens en
chantment to the distant view.—
Lowell Courier.
AFTER all, why should a young
man be always pursuing his studies.
—Plain Dealer.
THE bald-headed man oan tell us
all about "parts" unknown.—Glens
Falls Republican.
WHEN it comes to jealousy and
crowing, man is about as bad as a
rooster.—Dallas News.
No MATTER what may be said of
Senator Stewart, none deny that ho
is on his metal.—Plain Dealer.
TEACHER—"Define memory." Dull
Boy—"lt's what we always has till
we come to speak a piece."—Good
News.
FIRST TWIN—"WeII, what do you
think of this world, anyway?" Sec
ond Twin—"Pretty rocky."—Roches
ter Democrat.
MOST of the wrong deeds charged
against a man are those he com
mitted trying to get his rights.—
Atchison Globe.
THE poet who found "hooks in the
running brooks" certainly hail no rea
son to complain of dry literature.—
Washington Star.
SOME dentists seem to think it
necessary to have a showy sign in
order to have a strong pull with the
public.—Newport News.
NEW CONGRESSMAN—"Is Senator
Silverstate a man of his word?" Fifth
Termer—"Well, not quite as bad as
that-"—Detroit Tribune.
"IF I ever get rich," said Tommy,
"I mean to go to Italy and eat all
the banaDas I want,' right off the
trees."—lndianapolis Journal.
CARBVTHBRS—What did you hold
when you called Brobson, and he
showed down four aces? Waite—l?
Oh!—er—l held my breath! —Puck.
AND now with gas bills coming In
That fill up many pages,
We wish within our Inmost heart
We'd lived in the dark ages.
I —Chlc&ao Inter Ocean.
"Dm you ever go to Bins, the
j tailor?" "Yes. Got two suits from
: him. One dress suit. One lawsuit.
! Very expensive man."—Home Jour
j nal.
j LITTLE ALICE—"What is a boor,
i mamma?" Cynical Mamma—"A
boor, dear, is a man who has never
; been taught to lie."—Detroit Trib
| une.
I TOMMY—Paw, what makes the
[ stars so bright? Mr. Figg—Oh,
these astronomers are scouring the
heavens nil the time.—lndianapolis
Journal.
IT will go hard in the next world
with the newspaper space writer if
he lias to give account for every id'.o
word uttered while on earth.—Boston
Transcript.
MAMMA—Now, Teddy, we must all
try and give up something whilo
times are so hard. Teddy—l'm will
ing. Mamma—What will it bo, dear?
Teddy—Soap.—lnter Ocean.
"BIFFINS appears to have taken a
rather obscure place In the commu
nity." "Obscure? Well, I should say
so. Why, nobody even brings him a
petition to sign."—Washington Sta-.
OLD TOMKINS—I hear, you lucky
dog, you've come into more money
again, according to your wont. Young
Jackson—Yo, you're wrong. It's ac
cording to my uncle's will.—Funny
Folks.
LES FIANCES.—She—"And are you
sure you will like mariicd life as well
as you do your club?" He—"Oh,
yes." She—"And are you so awfully
fond of your club?" lie—"Not very."
—Life's Calendar.
THE EARNEST YOUTH.—"I thank
you, sir, for your kind permission to
call on your daughter?" "Remember
that I turn out the gas at 10 o'clock."
"All right, sir: I'll not come beforo
that time."—Life.
CONSTANCE—"Did he not go home
after you refused him?" Clare —"No.
He 9tayed Tight on and said, 'All
things come to him who waits.'"
Constance —"And what came?" Claro
—"Father was the first."—Puck.
A BRIGHT BOY. Kind Old Gentle
man—And that is your brother? He
appears to he a very bright littlo
fellow. Boy (proudly)— You bet he
Is! He kin swear like a car-driver.
Curse for tli* gent, Mickey.—Puck.
FIRST FRENCH STATESMAN—What
is the secret cf the fine health you
have at your advanced ago? Second
French Statesman—Sst! It is indeed
a secret. I have fought a duel every
irionth for the last twenty years!—
Chicago Record.
CLARENCE—"The little kangaroos
must be very unhappy, mamma."
Mamma—"Why do you think so,
Clarence?" Clarence —"Why, because
they have pockets, but no tops or
jack-knives to pat in them. "—Har
per's Young People.
Two LITTLE maids were talking
about Santa Claus. "He's a splcnd'. l
candy-maker," said one. "Isn't re!"
said the other. "Why, last Chrlst
nuj his taffy was so like that my
mother makes that I couldn't teU
'em apart, "—Harper's Bazar,