THE CHAPLAIN'S STORY.
By WILLIAM HENBY SHELTON.
ICopyright, 1803, by the Author.]
It had been a great day in the village.
The Phil Sheridan post, G. A. R., No. 120
had paraded the street with fife and
drums, bearing the green flag of old Ire
land proudly beside tho tattered and bat
tle lettered standards of the great war.
With early flowers and little flags and
tender thoughts of the giant ruction in
the land of their adoption the old veter
ans had decorated the graves of their
comrades and placed an extra sprig of
shamrock on the cross above the one
Confederate mound over against the sun
lit wall where the violets had already
taken joyous possession.
THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE SAWED THE AIR
WITH ITS LONG ARMS.
It was u great night that followed
when the campfire was lighted behind
the closed doors of the post. Chaplain
O'Ronrk was orator of the occasion,
which simply meant that the good father
was first story teller. So settling the
double folds of his shaven chin above the
endless white cbokor which rosd stiff and
uncompromising out of the gloom and
amplitude of hie wrinkleless vest he
twinkled one merry eye on the expectant
, faces of the old boys about him and be
gan his story, with just a twinge of
brogue lurking slyly in the rich musical
tones of his voice:
The smoke had settled on a famous
battlefield among the hills of Pennsylva
nia Besides the presence of tho victo
rious troops wherever the eye turned was
abundant evidence in the fields that some
thing unusual had happened. Tho fences
not leveled with the ground were riddled
with holes, the earth was broken and
trampled, and dry branches lay under the
green trees. Out on the ridges, in the
tangled grainfields and rocky pastures,
men were gathering countless rifles and
cording thorn in long piles. Everywhere
bits of cloth and scraps of leather lit
tered the ground—a cap here and a blan
ket there. ..
It was the evening of the Sth of July.
Bugler Ohld, who carried an arithme
tic in MB nosebag, and who had found
some fraction of time to cipher during
lulls in the late engagement, now laid
that well thumbed companion of his cur
rycomb beside u gun wheel and stood
forth to blow the supper call.
As the hungry men are swarming out
from under the carriages armed with
quart cups, and while the clear ra-ta-ta
of the bugle is sounding merrily, there
appears, coming over tho hill from the
direction of the village, the most demor
alized apparition in petticoats that over
flouted in a soldier's dream. With tho
wild whoop of a painted Comanche tho
mysterious figure sawed the air with its
long arms and then threw a headlong
somersault in the tangled wheat, show
ing a flush of white legs and trooper's
boots under a flying scud of calico, and
landed a sprawling, inert mass in the
übblo.
Beforo the dust kicked up by tho ap
parition aforesaid had settled about tho
quivering bundle of rags 50 "Q" men
were charging through the grain as only
a petticoat could toll them to charge.
Corporal Conn was first 011 the ground
and at n glance under tho sunbonnet
rolled in the wheat convulsed with laugh
ter and in imminent danger of being
ground under the heels of tho charge.
•Hurrah, boys, it's Teddy Greggan!"
cried the corporal, rolling over onto his
knees and holding his shaking sides-,
'Teddy with a skinful of commissary!
Gods, but he's drunk!"
'Fall bacjtl Uive him airl Carry her
to the captainl Don't stale the lady's
bairl Whoop, it's Teddy Greggan from
the deadl'
Without further ado four muscular
cannoneers Beized the body of Teddy by
its four extremities and burst through
the crowd in the direction of the officers.
" 'Lo, there. Glasheye," muttered Ted
dy as his half open eyes fell on the broad
shouldered corporal with 0110 eye who
carried his left boot. "Glad—er—see —
yea, Glash"
'The officers of Battery Q were seated
in the open air over a supper of toasted
crackers and coffee spread out on a pair
of empty ammunition boxes when the
bearers with their burden approached,
followed by a stream of men from all the
batteries up the line.
"Private Greggan reports back from
missing. Bir," said Corporal Glasseye,
dropping the leg ho carried and saluting
the captain.
A shout went up from the mess as the
boys seated Teddy on the ground and
pulled buck the old pink sunbonnet, re
vealing his leering face andcarrotty hair
—a shout in which the victim essayed to
join, making a gurgling failure, which,
with his wonderful makeup, caused the
laughter to break out ufresh.
"Hand him over to the guard, men,"
said the captain, "and send the corporal
to me."
"Here, captain," said a fine looking
yonng fellow, belted and gloved, showing
tyf palm of his right hand in front of his
nght ear.
"Have Mm undressed, corporal, and
roll Mm in the creek until he comes
round. I'm glad to see him in any guise,
but eoak the drink out of liim and bring
him hero iq the morning."
Teddy had been last seen by his com
rades about noon of tho first day of the
battle bent over his lead team plying the
lash like a jockey on the last quarter and
swearing galore above the crackling of
rifles and swish of the whips. The bro
ken, plunging column of butteries was
tearing through the sinoke of the infan
try, closing in on either sido with yells
and oaths. Wounded horses were dragged
along under the lash by the frantic
plunging of the teams. Cannoneers
leaped into the saddles emptied by the
rifles, and every nerye was strained to
gain tho bridge leading to tho village and
the cover of the blue infantry hurrying
to our support. But Teddy's gun was
the last of the flying column, and Lieu
tenant Mink sat like a statue on his bald
faced chestnut praying for his last gun
until horse after horse went down, and
before he threw himself forward on the
chestnut's neck and touched his quiver
ing flanks with his spurs he had seen
Teddy leap into the smoke whirling, his
whip at his assailants. Accordingly Ted
dy Greggan, lead driver, had gone up in
the reports to corps headquarters as
"missing."
Directly after guard mounting Teddy
Greggan was marched up to headquar
ters in charge of the new corporal. A
small collection of saddles piled against
a crumbling Btone wall in the shado of a
sturdy oak, with blankets spread on the
ground and bridles and fieldglasses and
sido arms strewn about, constituted Bat
tery Q's modest official headquarters on
that sultry July morning.
Teddy was arrayed in a clean new uni
form and looked as fresh and ruddy as a
baby turned out of its bath. Alongside
the corporal he came to attention, and
the two stood dumb beforo the powers as
handsome u brace of soldiers as any com
manding officer would wish to see.
"Well, Greggan," said the captain
sternly after looking his victim delib
erately over from his seat on the wall,
"what have you to say for yourself this
morning?"
"Prisent for dooty, sir," spoke up
Teddy as bold as brass.
"Don't you think I should stand you
on a gun limber from now until taps?"
said the captain, looking his fiercest.
"I don't, yer honor," said Teddy.
Then tho captain laughed merrily and
said no more, did he, that Teddy was his
best lead driver and he was glad to see
him back. So he bade him come under
the tree, out of the sun, and explain how
he came by the calico and tho commis
sary.
The corporal was excused, and the
captain callod over tho officers of the
next battory, so that before Teddy be
gan his story he had an audience of a
dozen, including the first sergeant, who
stood apart with the quartermaster in a
tangle of dry limbs clipped off the oak
tree by the artillery practice of the
enemy.
"It's a long story about the dress,"
spoke up Teddy, "but tho whusky is a
short wan. Oi had no intintion av comin
to tho batthery in famale attliire, cap
tain, an at twilve o'clock yisterday mom
in, havin heard that ye was lyin in this
place forninst the eimetery gate, I says,
'Teddy,' says I, 'av ye go in this way
ye'll be raisin expectations that ull ind
in cruel disappintment. The leftenants
might fall in love wid ye. I'll first
thrado me clothes wid a sthiff,' says Oi.
So Oi made off, crapin along the finces
down to yander hollow be the woods,
an jist as 1 had consented there was a
liberal shprinklin o' dead Johnnies a-ly
"ON ME BREAST WAS AN ARCHWAY AV
BLUE LETTERS."
in round in the grass, an thero lay wan
lone Yank, face down in tho dhirt, wid
as clane a uniform as iver Oi seen on a
dead man. He was wan o' mo size, an
goin over to him, says Oi, 'Me slapin
beauty, that's a foine coat yer laid out
in,' says Oi. 'Oi'll thrade ye me gown
for it. Oi'U thrick yez out fur yer mith
er's daghter,' says Oi, an wid that Oi
laid hold o' wan o' the boots. 'Gimme
that,' says Oi.
" 'I vjon't,' said he, spakin out o' the
ground, an wid wan kick of his long log
he sent me sprawlin across a dead John
nie. Av Oi yilled murtlier an St. Path
erick it's small wonther, for tho doad
wan was sweariu above mo in a jiffy.
An then:.'Me darlin,' wlieodlin loike,
says he. seem tho petticoat, 'is it robbin
the dead, ye are? Who be yez anyways?"
says he.
" 'God hilp me,' says Oi, 'Oi'm Teddy
Greggan from Battery Q,' says Oi.
" Tn faith ye are,' says he, an there
stud forninst me Jack Quince av the
Foorteenth cavalry.
" 'For the love o' God,' says Jack,
•what are ye doin here in that rig? 1
"Says Oi, 'Jack, Oi'm escaped,' says
Oi. 'Yez wudn't havo me report in Bat
thery Q in a petticoat, wad ye?'
"Well, hardly,' says he, 'havin some ac
quaintance wid the gintlemen in Q,' says
ho, scrapin his chin.
" 'Then ye'll linda hand till wo take
the duds off this unfortunit,' says Oi, not
cousideriu the tiino the i>oor divil had
1 been lyin in the sun.
FREELAND TRIBUNE, MONDAY, MAY 29, 1893.
" 'Git outr says he, wid a foine look o'
schorn. 'Cud yez sf pip tho whole skin
off a ripe tomato? Yer ignorance is due
to your limited opporchunities in tho ar
thillery. Come down to the post,' says
he, 'an we'll give you a dhrink.'
"Sure, captain, Oi was as dhry as a
last year's goord, an seein the humor av
it I tuck Jack's arm, wid me flowin
skirts clutchod up in mo hand, an we
paraded down to the videttes. Its sora'
more Oi know av what tuck place till Oi
landed in camp, except that thlm hay
thins had foraged a jugful av applejack.
Oi renumber tho blackgards was makin
love to me, wid 'Plase, dear, havo an
ither sip,' and 'Down wid it, me old girl;
it's dhrinkin yer health we are.'
"The next Oi knowed, captain, was
when Oi woke up wid the police squad
sousin me in the crick.
"An now Oi'm towld its rollin lush Oi
was when Oi arrived, an it's sorry Oi
am, captain, for Oi intinded to come
loike a soldier escaped from the ineiny,
an proud av tho thrick Oi am. Shuro
Oi'd have come in in man clothes, as Oi
ought, av thim murtheriu cavalrymen
hadn't injuced mo to dhrink."
It is better to omit the remarks perti
nent and impertinent with which the
story had been greeted, and now as Ted
dy rested the hillside rang with jeers
and laughter from the shoulder strapped
audienco seated on the wall.
"Well, Greggan," said the captain
when the talk and tho laughter had sub
sided into an evident state of expecta
tion for more, "you commenced your
story in the middle."
"The divil Oi did, yer honor. Oi com
minced it at the ind, loike a fox when he
digs his hole widout lavin ony dhirt out-
Bide. Thankee for the liinonade, but seein
the state Oi was in last night, an axin yer
pardon for that same, ye'll see a shmall
dram wud aso mo troat. Mo inards is
burnin after the lush."
So Teddy smacked his lips over tho
dram, regarding his audienco with a far
away look, half unconscious for the
moment of the fusillade of questions as
to where ho had been, what he had seen,
how he escaped and how he was captured.
"Where have Oi been," began Teddy,
disregarding an invitation to sit down,
"where havo Oi been? Begorra, Oi'd
loike to know myself where Oi've been.
It was two days' march to the soutliwist
they tuck me, an when we got there it
was nowhere in particular, Oi'm thinkin.
Wherever it was, there was a shmall
river an a dliirty canal alongside it. Oi
was that lame all the last afternoon Oi
cud hardly walk at all, or else I played
it that way on tho long legged lad from
Varginny what was dethailed to bring
me along in the rear. What wid tellin
sthories and stalin cherries an tho loike
we got sum'at friendly by the time we
sthruck the canal. 'Let's take a bit
shwiin,' says Oi to the lad. 'Oi'm thinkin
the river water ud cool the blisliters on
me fate,' says Oi.
" 'All right,' says mo innocent guard,
for the hate was baliin tho two av us.
'They all won't bo campin far ahead.
You uns' clothes is you uns' parole.' says
he.
"So we tuck our clothes off on the
roadsido. 1 threw mine over the limb of
a tree, an tho lad laid his togs on tho top
of the wall. Afther wadin through the
black ditch av a canal we crossed the
towpath to tho river an jumped into the
cool wather. Wo might have been
shwimmin about in the shade an lyin
undor tho bank for tho matther av half
an hour us happy us a pair o' tliwins
whin we agreed we'd shwim across the
sthream an back an afther that go on
about our business. Oi was tho first to
git onto the far bank, an lookin across to
the bit o' road where we had lift our
things there was a spotted calf wid his
fore feet on tho wall chewin Johnnie's
suspendhers, loike a boa consthructor
makin ready to swally tho whole uni
form. 'Will ye luck o' that?' says Oi.
'He'll be aiten yer gun next.' Wid that
we both slid down the wet clay bank, an
Oi lay laugliin in the brink av tho river
to see the lad shwimmin for his life in
the dhirection av the wild animal.
" 'Come on,' said he as lie scrambled
over the towpath.
" 'All right,' says Oi. 'Oi'm afther yez.'
An then for tho first time Oi sized up mo
chances. Tho threes was thick above
stream, an a foine sandy beach lay along
side the wather. Lapin to me feet, I ran
like a red deer until I was aisy out av
his sight, and thin 1 climbed over tho
bank an tuck into the shwamp.
"Says 1, 'Teddy, me boy, yo'U fetch
up in Batthery Q in somothin thicker'n
tho skin av ye.' It was the afthernoon
av the first day Oi'm spakin av, an Oi'm
towld the divil was let loose hereabouts,
but it was that still in the Bhwainp ye
cud hear a bullfrog plump into the
wather half a mile off. An be that same
token Oi must have been twinty miles
away. 'lt's Pennsylvany Oi'm in,' thinks
Oi, 'an Oi'll be maten up wid some wan
as ul givo me clothes to cover mo naked
ness.' Wid that I tuk heart an began
falen me way through tho shwamp.
Says Oi, talkin to mesilf loiko: 'Oi'll
sthay hidin in tho shwamp by day an
foragin in the fields by night in mo skin
until tho divils rethreat. Prisons is fur
the Infantry,' says Oi, 'an the arthillery
in the person o' Teddy Greggan ull kape
out of it. Shure mo innocent tame ud
blush to seo me,' thinks Oi, 'but it's bad
luck av Oi don't stale a horse blanket
afore mornin.'
"The briers scratchin me hide was
worse 'an a currycomb to a kickin horse,
but afore sundown Oi was out on tho
edge av a plowed field. An aisy quar
ther av a mile down the fince was a
shape hovil, an it lucked loike a palace
to me considerin. Oi wasn't ornamental
to luck at afther passin the shwamp, but
all bein still in the field an nobody pris
ent to do tho luckin I made a run for it
down tho fince.
"The first thing me eyes lit on inside
was a big suck half full o' male. Says
Oi, 'Teddy, there's a dhress suit ready
made for ye to begin the world over in.'
So Oi imptied the male 011 the ground,
an findin an old Biekle behind a raftlier
Oi cnt a hole in the bottom for 1110 head
to go through nn two shlits in tho two
comers for me arms. Shlippin the nato
devise over me head, the bottom av it
faliin near to me knees, I had a shirt on
ne fit to mate the ladies in. Oi tuck a
few turns up an down tho shod in mo
pride. On mo breast was an archway av
blue letters, 'l4O pounds, extra foine!'
'Oi'm a liar,' says Oi, 'av that ain't mo
weight and description, an Oi hopo thero's
no mishtakes on the back.'
"Oi was that hungry my inardß was
crying for mate. 'But,' says I, 'Teddy,
mo lad, ye'll stlmy here till dark comes,
and if anybody else comes ye'll rethreat
to tho loft.' Not yet havin explored that
sthory, I climbed up tho lather onto n
flure av rails, an as a reward av me cu
riosity I found a pair av gum arctics.
Tho ould leathers lucked as if they had
done a thrick o' dooty onto a scarecrow,
but that didn't hindlier ther casin me
feet fur the march. AvOi'd found a bag
of goold I waden't have been so proud.
So Oi had to deoind an tako a few more
turns on the dirt av the shed in mo coni
plated gorgoousness. 'Misther Johnnie
Reb from Varginny,' says Oi, 'will ye
look o' that? Y'e can march up to the
provost marshal wid Teddy's uniform
undher yer arm,' says Oi, 'an get a thrick
o' punishment dooty. Oi'm a prince in
disguise—l4o pounds, extra foiqol'"
At this point of the narration the au
dience under the tree gave way to their
merriment, and tho captain's servant
under instruction revived tho exhausted
Greggan with a small jorum of whisky
and water.
"Oi'd give a munth's pay for a photy
graf av mesilf in that dhress," cried
Teddy, "inoro particular at the time o'
night when Oi marched up to an ould
maid wid the tale o' me hunger.
§ 1
"GOOD AVENIN," SAYS 01.
" 'Murtlier,' says she. Oi'd got between
her and the gate while she was lookin at
the moon.
" 'Let me go,' says she. 'You're unda
cent,' says she. 'I can't luck at ye.'
" 'Mo dear ladhy,' says Oi in me softest
accents, 'it's stharvin Oi am fur a taste
o' mate. Oi'm a gintleman from the ar
thillery, an plase don't judge me by me
clothes,' says Oi.
"But the more I pleaded the more sho
screamed, an that brought hor old father
to the dure.
" 'Good aveuin,' says Oi. 'Oi'm just
nskin for somethin to ate, boss, an the
ladhy is takin exciptions to me raiment.'
" 'Go on,' says he. 'Thee's a tramp.'
" 'Go on yersilf,' says Oi. 'Oi'm es
caped widout me clothes.'
" 'From a lunatic asylum?' says he.
" 'Oi may look it,' says Oi. 'Oi'm es
caped from tho ribbel guard wid niver a
bite-since mornin.'
" 'Theo's a Yankee, then,' says he.
" 'Oi am,'says Oi, 'from County Clare.
Oi was took afther havin foive horses
shot undher me retliraitin into Gettys
burg the day before yisterday noon. Me
guard let ine in swimmin in the river,
takin me clothes ill parole av me, an Oi
cut sthicks in me skin. Yez might be
acquainted wid tho male sack Oi havo to
me shirt,' says Oi. 'Oi tuck it from the
sliapo shed in the plowed field beyaut to
cover me nakedness wid.'
" 'What's thy regiment?' says he.
" 'Batthery Q,' says Oi, 'the pride of
tho First corps.'
" 'Come in,' says he. 'Tliee'll git the
best in the house,' an wid that lie fell to
shakin hands wid me. 'Hold on,' says
he. 'The good woman ud be bavin a fit
at sight of thee, an small blame to her.
Go around to the barn,' says ho, 'and
Oi'll bring thee dacent raiment.'
" 'Oi'm a man of pace,' says ho whin
he came out wid tho lantern. 'l'vo laid
mo two sons on tho altar of me country,'
says he, 'but I'm soro tempted to go out
wid thee and smito tho Gibeonites. And
now theo may get up in the buggy and
put on those garments.'
"He was about two sizes bigger nor
the quartermaster there, an his heart was
as big as his body, for he'd brought mo
his Sunday clothes. Y'e shud 'a' seen mo
whin Oi come down out o' that buggy I
A shad belly coat jo' tho color o' snuff,
wid do tails swnpin tho ground, wid
bucks an eyes for buttons. 110 was a
kind o' Quaker they calls a Drunkard.
The breeches was ]>eg tops—barn door—
b-r-r-r-r-r wlioop-la—big enough to go
twise round mo and long enough to turn
up to me pockets.
" 'Thee's not improved so much ns theo
might be,' says Mr. Quaker.
" 'They'll tit me betther afther Oi've
had something to ate,' says Oi.
"That night was the first time in two
years Oi'd slilept in a bed, an betuno the
bed and me tiredness Oi shlept on till
near uoon tho next day. It was the
Fourth av July, an the old man had tho
good news for me.
" 'Praise tho Lord and Gideon,' says
ho. 'Gineral Meudc has won a great vic
tory. But thee'U be grieved to hoar of
tho thousands ami thousands of the
Lord's anointed that are slain,' says ho.
'An small care for the loss of tho hathen
I hat wint out to give us battle,' says he,
wid a wink.
" 'But there's sore throuble in tho
house,' says he. 'Here's Leah, the wife
of my sou, who druv out from Gettys
burg last Lord's day a week, and her
little wans, barrin the babby, in the
midst o' tho battle these tlireo days, and
Ezra in tho ranks, the Lord preserve him.
She's bound to go home av she walks, and
Oi must tell thee the Gibeonites are en
camped five miles up the turnpike, with
fresh rifle pits dug in front o' them.'
R. F. DePierro. S. DePierro.
CAFE 1
MEALS OF ALL KINDS AT ANY HOUR.
Famous Gibson, Dougherty, Kaufer Club '£ Rosenbluth's Velvet
"WIIISKIIES IN STOCK.
IMI tarn's Extra IDrjr CHampagne,
ZBladsrToerry, ~^7"ine,
Brandy, Grin, Claret, Etc.
HAZLETON AND BALLENTINE BEER ON TAP.
Porter, Stock Ale and all kinds of Refreshments.
FINEST BAR IN TOWN.
TEMPERANCE DRINKS and FINE CIGARS.
BUMS, hot OR COLD ' 25 CENTS.
ABOtTABT-EBS FOE
XDeZEIIEIEIRO'S OECHESTEA..
Centre and Front Streets, - - - Freeland, Pa.
" 'An Batthcry Q nil bo mnrchln wlil
out Groggan,' soya Oi. 'Bo the blood of
the saints, they will not!' says Oi. 'Go
find tho provost marshal of tho inemy,'
says Oi, 'and get a pass to drive yer
dagliter through the lines to the town.
An get another pass,' says Oi, 'for Mary,
the Oirish nurso,' says Oi, 'an don't ye
forget that pass for the nurse,' says Oi.
" 'Thee'll find,' says he, 'thoy will not
pass a man.'
" 'Go on,' says Oi. Oi'll wake up a
woman in tho mornin, an a foine wan at
that,' says Oi. 'Get a pass for yoursilf
if you can, but for two women onyways.
There's no time to lose,' says Oi, 'anil
mind ye don't carry them thaves a horse.
Ye'U betther walk on yer feet,' says Oi.
"Afther he had gono Oi explained me
plans in dethail to tho ladies. 'An now,'
Bays Oi to the oulil maid,who hailbecomo
somewhat reasonable, 'the Johnnies
might be droppin in on us. Yo'll givomo
clothes to dhress up in for tho nurso iin
madeately, ami Oi'll be afther gettin used
to hanillin the babby,' says Oi.
"Whin tho ould Quaker rethurned, Oi
was sittin on tho front stheps nussin the
kid.
" 'The Lord bo with thee!' says ho,
lookin at his slilapin grandson an thin at
me widout a sign of recognition in his
face.
" 'Did yexsecuro thim passes?" says Oi.
" 'Praise the Lord!' said he, gettin on
Ills glasses. 'Theo's tho Boldier man!
Thee'll do! Thee'll do!'
"Av course he cud git no pass for him
silf, an Oi advised him to be gettin his
horses and cattle into tho shwamp.
"The mornin cume at lasht, an tho
horse an wagon was brought up to tho
dure. By this time the babby tuck to me
like a duck to wather, but the missus
was that nervous she cud hardly houlil
the lines, and all the women folks was in
tears except mesilf.
"Then tho ould Quaker spoke up, his
face as long as mo arm and the nndher
lip av him trimblin: 'Leah, thee and the
soldier man ('the nurse,' says Oi) are in
great peril. ('Then don't be makin her
worse,' says Oi.) Theo'll both put thy
trust in the Lord. Rachel and I would
never slape tonight if we let thee pass
into the camps of the Gibeonites to tho
neglect of our mornin duties. Thee'll
bring me the Testament, mother.' An
will that he wiped his old horn specs on
his shirt sleeve an opened tho buck to tho
very first chapter, tliero bein no time to
chuse an one being as good as another.
" 'An Abraham begat Isaac, an Isaac
begnt Jacob, an Jacob begat some other
feller an his brother.' An all the time
birds was siugin in the lilnc bushes, an
tho bugle was sounilin in the distance,
an Oi was woilil to bo drivin afther tho
drums. But tho Quaker man wns aisy
an kept readin on—this one begat that
wan, an t'other begat t'other—a-kapin
chune wid tho bumble bees inthe clover,
wid the liciutousness av Solomon an tho
rist o' them liathcns—until me eye lit on
two rebel cavalrymen riilin down the
lane, an then I made bowld to hit the old
roan horse wid the gad, an we started,
the babby suramin wid the bellyache an
the missns trimblin wid fright.
" 'Terence begat Michael, an Michael
begat Pather, an Pather begat Teddy,
an Teddy begat Mary Ann, an that's
me,' says Oi.
"The cavalrymen, bavin their thoughts
on the corncrib, didn't so much as luk
at us, an that heartened up the missus a
bit. Says Oi thin: 'Yez havo the pass,
an it's gud. Ye'vo only wan thing to
fear, an I'm afeared av that mesilf. The
nursegirl might let loose an cuss ef the
occasion wns ripe for it, but Oi'll do mo
best indeavor to restrain her,' says Oi.
"It was no thrick at all gittin tro thim
lines while the guard was luckin at the
pass. God knows it was crnel av me,
but Oi alus pinched the poor little inno
cent and set him to howlin, which made
it necessary for the nurse to be bondin
over the child an sootliin him loike."
Teddy's smiling countenance, a full
moon with freckles, must have been a
fine foil for the sweet faco of the young
Quakeress at his side when the butter
nut and gray soldiers streamed over the
remnants of the fences that were to
stare at the ladies, as soldiers will.
"RAPE IT AN DE HORNED!" SAYS 01.
Teddy scorned to descend to the ordi
nary details of thoir passago through tiio
camps of a defeated and destitute urmy
bivouacked in picturesque confusion for
miles and miles along the summer fields,
eating the green things like locusts and
drinking the wells dry, but we drow the
facts out of him with corkscrew ques
tions.
Tho appearance of tiio rival artillory
interested him. "Ono place," he said,
"wo passed a sorra lukin string o' bat
teries. Sore backed mules pttllin on ould
rope traces, wid bed quilts under tho sad
dles an howlin idjots on the top av
thim. 3-inch guns an parrotts an light
3
twilves, all together in the same bat
thery, making a disgraceful connection
'The nearer we got to t'he rilie pits,
which Oi knew wud be the last av thim,
tho moro Oi see there was going to be no i
chance for a bit o' fun, an Oi grew oneasy
as the missus got calm. About twinty!
yards from the gap in the bristworks lift i
open on the turnpike the last thafe av a!
sentry tuck a look at tho pass.
" 'Hurry up,' says Oi. 'Can't yez read?" i
" 'l'll kape it,' says he, 'to remember
ye by.'
" 'Kapo it an bo durnedt' says Oi. 01
was spoilin for a ruction be that.
"The pits below the road was full o'
Johnnies making their durty male Into
hoecakes an burning the rails av the
finces. Says Oi, 'What's that stuff yer
cookin?" says Oi. 'Shure wo wudn't fade
that to the hogs in Pinnsylvany,' says 01.
'Oi can lick the best wan av yez mesilf,
says Oi. 'Come on!'
"Wid that they streamed over the
bristworks makin for tho wagon, an 01
plumped tho innocent babby into the
missus' lap, an slio sayin her prayers,
the divii I was, an lathered the big roan
into a run. Thin pokin me head an
shoulders through a hole in tho yellow
top—tho saints forgivo me!—Oi swore at
the gray divils until they was lost In tho
dust. Thin Oi tuck tho reins out of her
hands and kept tho roan at a gallop for
another mile indiverin to soothe the
missus wid mo blarney. But 'twas no sort
o' uso. Wo was close onto the village, an
she made bowld to order mo out of the
wagon. Av courso Oi got out in dis
graco, and Oi'vo been heapin disgrace on
disgrace iver since until Oi'm thinkin
Oi'm no gintleman at all from tho ar
tliillery."
The Heroes and the Flowers.
There Is gladness where tho showers
Of the sun ravs run along.
AH tho grass is gay with Ho were.
All tho air is sweet with song.
Little happy birds aro nesting
In tho hedgo and In tlie glado.
And tho smile of God is resting
On tho good that ho has made.
Comes a hurst of battle thunder,
And tho frightened birds havo tied.
Solid are rent asunder,
And tho green Is dripping red.
There's a shock of foemen meeting
And a discord of their wrath,
YVhilo tho heavy foot aro beating
Down tiio tlowers in their path.
Now the flowers gently, gently
Fall upon each narrow mound.
And tho spirit ears intently
Catch tho eclio of tho sound.
For it enters in tho portals.
Tells its message sweet and dear.
And tho warrior immortals
Know they aro remembered here.
Ah, the years are grny with kindness,
And tho sky is blue with peace.
Gone forever is t ho blindness.
Now the hnttlo echoes cease.
Birds aro singing in the meadow.
Lovo is shining in tiio sun;
Gono forever Is the shadow.
For tho blue and gray are one.
—Detroit Free Press