BROTHERS. Spider, At my window spinning, Weaving circles wider, wider, From the deft beginning, Running Wheels and spokes until you Boild your silken death-traD cuuning, Sha'l I catch you, kill you? Spraw'ing, Nimble, schrewd as Circe, Death's your only aim and calling- Why should you have mercy? Btrike thee? Not for rapine wilful. Mnn himself is too much like thee, Only not so skilful. Rife in Thee lives our Creator; Thou'rt a shape to hold a life in; I am nothing greater. —[George Horton, in Harper's. THE PEER'S CHOICE. BY EMMA G. JOKES. Cassandria came in breathless, her blonde curls in disorder, her blue eyes sparkling. "Oh, girls, girls!" she cried, dropping into a seat and tossing her hat in one di rection and her gloves in another, "what do you think?" 44 We think you're an idiot!" snapped Beatrice, her eldest sister. "If you've anything to tell, why don't you tell it, and leave out your exclamations?" Cassandria smiled sweetly. She was the beauty of the family, the belle of the neighborhood, and she could afford to keep her temper. "Don't be unamiable, Beatrice," she replied; " 'tis unlady-like, and patience is a god-like attribute. I've been over to The Ferns." "Well?" responded Beatrice, knitting her black brows. "Lord Thrapstone has come." "What?" shrieked Beatrice, scattering her silks on the carpet. "Lord Thrapstone has come," repeated Cassandria, serenely. 4 'And you—did you see him?" panted the elder sister. "No; he has driven over to Tofton with Mr. Thornley, but Mrs. Thornley told me all about him, and better still," drawing out her card-case, and produc- , ing therefrom two scraps of tinted paper, "she gave me invitations for tho ball on Thursday, the ball in honor of his lord ship's visit." Beatrice stretched out her hand and took the invitations, eyeing them medi tatively. "There arc three of them," she re marked; "we are all invited." "Yes; of course Mrs. Thornley would not be so unmannerly as to omit one of us; but Bess won't go—she's not ex pected to go," said Cassandria. Bess, sitting near the window, glanced up from the flounces she was fluting, but ventured no reply. "I can't see how any of us can go," remarked Beatrice. 4 'What shall we wear? Lord Thrapstone'a ball will be no common affair—the grandest people in the county will be there." "I'm going," put in Cassandria, terse ly, "that's settled, and I will have some thing appropriate to wear. How would that blue silk make over with a lace over dress?" "How?" snarled Beatrice; "quite nicely; and you'd like to appropriate it, no doubt, the only available article in the house, but you won't." "I don't think it quite suits you," re- j turned Cassandria, wickedly; "blue is scarcely your color, with your tar hair and saffron complexion." Beatrice blazed with wrath. "I'd as soon have tar hair as taffy, I'm sure'." she retorted; 4 'and a good, healthy color is better than washed-out pink! But, dropping personalities, you sha'n't have the blue silk." 4 'We'll see about that. Cannot you resurrect the mauve?" "The mauve, indeed! A threadbare rag that you've worn a dozen times." 4 'But no one will recognize my gar ments on you," returned Cassandria, with pointed sarcasm. "Oh, sisters, sisters!" cried Bess, just in time to intercept a violent rejoinder, I "pray don't be spiteful. Let's arrange | matters peaceably—nothing is ever j gained by wrangling." "True enough, Bess,"said Cassandria, | crossing to her side and laying one white hand on her shoulder; "una you must help us—you must be our fairy god mother. What are we to do, Bess?" Bess dropped her fluting-irons, and leaned her round cheek in one brown, dimpled hand. After a moment's re flection, she looked up. 44 Well," a little sigh fluttering the' bib of her holland apron, and a look of childish wistfulness in her brown eyes 41 well, I suppose you'll have to take my dress—the blue and white silk that Auut ■ Morley gave me," she said, slowly. Cassandria caught her in her arras, and j kissed her. "Oh, you darling!" she cried; 44 1 knew you would—and it just suits inc. We'll take it down to Miss Shipley this minute. You can take the old blue, and welcome, Beatrice. But I must have a lace over-skirt, and some snow-drops, and gloves, and ribbons. Oh, Bess, throw away that stupid work and think. Can't you spare the money?" Bess did throw aside licr work, and rising from her seat, she went out into the long dining-room through whose low windows the purple lilacs were nodding. In the old-fashioned sideboard, with the quaiut silver and china, she kept her ' little cash box. She unlocked it, and couutcd its contents—the slowly-accu mulated proceeds of numerous butter pads molded by her skillful hands. Bnt her countenance fell, and she sighed drearily. There was not a dime to spare. Her father must have his 1 chocolate, and there were sundry bills coming due. Not a surplus penny in the cash box. 44 Well, well," signed Bess, re locking ; the side-board, and tripping off to her own room, "tlicy shan't DC disappointed. I'll do without the shawl and hat- what does it matter?" She took her own private purse, a very diminutive affair, from her bureau i drawer. When Aunt Morley came on a summer visit, and brought her the blue and white siik, she also gave her money \ to purchase a hat and shawl, and Bess ! had been hoarding it and dreaming of her new outfit, with all a young girl's love of beautiful things. But she gave j it up willingly, yet not without a pang of regret. All her life long Bess had put herself aside, and labored for those she loved. She tripped down to the sitting-room with the tiny purse in her hand. 44 Here itis, girls," she said, "and j there's not another cent to spare. You must do the best you can with it—and j here's Aunt Morlcy'a silk." The girls set up an outcry at sight of j the glistening fabric, in the midst of j which Bess, with a wistful look in her brown eyes, ran out to prepare her father's chocolate. Bright and early the following morn ing tho pony carriage wa9 out, and Bea trice and Cassandria set off on a shopping expedition. 44 You must do up the lace handker chiefs, Bess," said the latter, turning back in the doorway, 4 'and try and find time to iron my best petticoat; no one irons so nicely as you do; and, Bess, do hare the drawing-room in order, and fresh flowers in the vases, in case Mrs. Thornley should bring Lord Thrapstone to call." Bess nodded, and went on with her work. All through the long, long sum mer day she kept herself busy, waiting on her bed ridden father, baking, clean ing, crimping ruffles, and ironing frilled petticoats. The afternoon found her cheeks flushed, and her brown eyes heavy. She was so tired! poor over worked little Bess. But the girls would soon be coming, and they would waut their tea. She hung the kettle over the blaze, and while it simmered, ran down to the garden to clip fresh flowers for the vases. The Locust Hill garden was rich in flowers, and Bess selected the brightest, till her basket ran over, and her holland apron, and brown, bare arras were hung with trailing vines, and great white and red rose?, and dainty heliotrope and mignonette. The sun hung like a golden hall above the dark ridge of pines, and the bees hummed drowsily from tho long line of hives. Bess ached with weariness; and longing for a moment's rest, she sank down on a grassy knoll at the foot of the magnolia tree. The subtle odors floated round her like clouds of incense; the bees droned and hummed, the yellow, summer sunlight streamed down. Bess let her tired head sink lower and lower; | at last it rested on the grass, the flower- j basket tipped over, covering her with its gaudy contents, and Bess was fast asleep. Mrs. Thornley, wife of an American millionaire, was very proud of her British rclativo, Lord Thrapstone, and paraded him around on every possible occasion. On the afternoon in question, her elegant carriage drove up to the stone-pillared "ate at Locust Hill. The driver got Uown and rapped, but no one responded, and being an old friend, Mrs. Thornley got out, and bade his lordship follow her example. They sauntered up the locust-shaded \ avenue, but no one could be seen. 4 'Do you take a turu in the garden, Thrapatuuo," said Mrs. Thornley, "while I reconiioiter." Lord Thrapstone obeyed, strolling down the dim garden path, past the droning bee-hives, into the sweet, cool shado vof the magnolia trees. Presently he paused, with an exclamation. Al most at his feet, her brown curls in a tumble, her arms and rosy checks half concealed by flowers, lay Bess, in her sweet, unconscious sleep. The peer looked down upon her with softening eyes. The sight of her stirred his heart, as the wiles of titled ladies had never done. She reminded him of his own little innocent sister, at Thrap stone Priory, amid the Devonshire hills. He stooped, and taking a sprig of heliotrope that lay across her brown arm, set it in his button-hole. The action, or some mesmeric influence, roused Bess from her sweet repose. She started up, i scattering her blossoms in a shower, her brown eyes wide with amazement. "I beg your pardon, sir," she stam mered. 44 1 believe I must have fallen 1 asleep." His lordship smiled pleasantly. "It is I who must beg pardon," he said, 4 'for having disturbed you. lam Lord Thrapstone, and my cousin, Mrs. Thornley, has come to call on the Misses Brompton." Bessie comprehended, and for an in stant her cheeks glowed, then a twinkle lit her brown eyes, as the thought of what her sisters would say struck her. "I was so tired," she said, naively, "and the bees and the birds must have sung me to sleep. This way, please, Lord Thrapstone." The peer followed into the rambling j old house, where they found Mrs. Thorn | ley. She gave Bess a hearty kiss, and I learning that her sisters were absent, begged to see her father. So Bess con ! ducted them into the sitting-room, that i she kept so clean and sweet, and the old man told the peer stories and legends of i his boyhood, and Bess gave them cream and berries under the* rose-aibor; and ! they spent an houi quite pleasantly. | "That little damsel, in the holland I apron, has done what all the London ! beauties have failed to do, Thrapstone," | remarked Mrs. Thornley, as they drove back to "The Ferns." "What's that?" questioned the peer. 4 'She's won your heart—you're in love with her." "I'm not sure but you're right," re plied his lordship, quietly. The girls had gone to the ball, gor geous in their finery, and Bess busied herself in tidying up their chamber. That done she went down, and gave her father his chocolate, and then sat down in the open window. The sun was quite down, but a full moon rode in mid-heaven, and a south ern breeze rustled and tossed the green locust boughs overhead. Bess leaned upon the window-sill, watching the grand carriages as they rolled by on their way to The Ferns! She could see the lights flashing amid the shrubbery, and all the windows of the stately mansion in a blaze of light, and at intervals she caught the throb bing echoes of the music. She sighed and looked wistfully out toward the gleaming windows. After all, patient and tender as she was, she had a girl's heart. ' Bess," called her old father at this moment. 4 'Bess, conic here!" Bess flew to the bedside nnd laid her velvet cheek against his. How icy cold it felt! She started up in dismay. "Papa, dearest, are you ill?" she cried. "What can I do for you?" He drew her down in a cold embrace. | "Nothing that you haven't already done, Hess, good little Hess," he said. ! "The others have been gay butterflies. | You have been my comfort—my good, good little Bess—Heaven bless and re ward you!" | He kissed her over and over. ! "Sing now, Bess," he said at last, "I • want to hear you sing." And sitting beside him in the summer I i moonlight Bess sang an old hymn that ! was his favorite, her sweet, clear voice 1 floating out into the silent air in trills of ( melody. If she paused she heard his i feeble voice: "Sing, li es;" and she sung, unconscious that she had a listener i —unconscious of the tall shadow that j darkened the open casement. | At last a solemn silence—an indc i scribable something—fell around her. She paused in terror. [ "Papa, " she cried, bending over the still, sharp figure on the couch; "papa, I love—won't you speak?" But the white lips would never sp'ak ! again. The old man was dead. Bess i had sung him into that long sleep that knows no waking. Her cry or ftgonj thrilled the solemn night. The tall shadow at the open casement passed in. "My child," suid Lord Thrapstone, gently, "will you let me help you? 1 came to take you to the ball; but what can I do for you now?" "Nothing— no one can do anything for mo now," moaned poor Bess; "but you can go for the poor girls, my lord, and comfort them. The summer had gone—Lord Thrap stone had enjoyed the hunting season, and was going home to Thrapstone Priory for the winter, lie came over the evening before his departure, to mok his adieus at Locust Hill. Beatrice and Cassandria, bewildering in voluminous crape and bombazine, received him in the drawing room, but he soon con trived to find his way to the outside ter race, where Bess sat. She was staring out at the brown hills, her eyes full of hopeless despair. lie sat down beside her, and took her chill hand in his. "Bcsß,"he said, gently, "I'm going home to-morrow to England—" 44 Yes, my lord; you'll find the girls in the drawing-room." "I don't want the girls; I've come to see you, Bess." j Bess looked up, her brown eyes wide : open. j "Little Bcßß,"the peer continued, "I'm not a young man; but I think I could j make you happy. You are the only | woman I have ever loved. Bess, do you j think you could ever care for me enough j to be my wife?" "I, my lord?" lie smiled at her wondering face. i "You, Bess—tender, unselfish, inno- I cent little Bess—you, and none other. I love you truly. I have loved you ever since that afternoon when I found you asleep amid your roses. I will be very careful of you. I will try to make you happy if you can learn to love me. Can you, Bess?" Her eyes brimmed over with tears— poor, tired, friendless little Bess. "Oh, my lord," she faltered, 4 'that . would be easy enough if I were sure— I if I thought you really cared for me." | He gathered her close in his fond era i brace. | 44 Indeed, Ido care for you, Bess," he | replied; 44 and if my love can make you happy, you shall be the happiest woman | in wide England." j And when spring came again, and the j locust boughs put on their summer green, ! there was a wedding, and, after all their maneuvering, poor Beatrice and Cassan dria found that Bess would wear the coronet.—[New York Weekly. ALLIGATOR VS. BULL. A Thrilling Battle Witnessed by a Ship's Passengers. Passengers going up the San Juan River to the interior of Nicaragua see many strange sights along the shores lined with alligators, and through water filled with sharks, but seldom witness a finer battle-royal than one that took place between a young bull and an alligator. A bit of prairie land or savannah came down through the dense tropical jungle, j the impenetrable tangle of trees and vines offering an opportunity for the herds of wild cattle to drink that was | not ignored. The habits of the herd had evidently been carefully studied by a i wily old alligator, as he lay day after | day in the mud, licking his insect-laden I chops and dreaming of a dainty meal of j delicate veal. The steamer was tied up ! to the bank when the "gaiter's" oppor ; tunity arrived. I A calf had strayed unnoticed from the I herd towards the water. An ugly black : uose appeared above the water, followed i by a wicked twinkling eye and a long I scaly body. A cautious crawl up the | low bank, and the ugly saurian ran with ■ astonishing rapidity for its prey. A shout and an ill-directed shot alarmed the calf, j There was a big bawl, answered by the ; whole herd, the calf running frantically j from and the whole herd toward the i water fiend. Then both sides paused, | alligator sinking closer to the ground, j the cows standing with ears erect, their | big brown eyes filled with astonishment | and fear. Another instant and the cows and calves moved "lowly off to one side, over keeping their heads to the foe, and a young bull alone remained facing the enemy. The young guardian of the herd slowly advanced to the attack, his magnificent eyes shining with the light of battle, his tail switching nervously and his head tossing like a swordsman practising his finest thrusts. It looked for a moment as though the alligator would retreat. Then a vibration ran through his scales, the huge mouth opened, his gurgling threat was answered by a defiant bellow, and with incredible swiftness on the part of both the combatants met. The cruel rows of teeth closed on the leg of the bull near the body, stripping muscle and sinew from the bone, while the'polished horn sank deep into the al ligator's breast. A quick withdrawal on the part of both, a lightning-like turn of the head, and the other horn of the bull impaled his enemy. A great shud der ran over the body of the alligator, and the blood gushed out as ho roared in his rage and pain. For an instant both feet rested as they were, and then the saurian with a last desperate effort whirled himself on the impaling horn, striking the bull on the side with ter rific force, the crash of the blow echoing along the river. No ribs or muscles could withstand the assault. The brave young hero fell upon his side, twisting his neck out of joint. One final effort to move his head, one longing look towards the panic stricken herd, and the lc*k in the beautiful browg eyes died out for ever. A cry of sympathy and regret arose from the spectators, and pistol balls glanced from the armored back of the alligator as he feebly slunk back into the water, covered with the execra tions of all the witnesses. —[Cincinnati Inquirer. Coffee Rills D.sease Germs. Coffee has disinfectant properties. Only recently a certain Dr. Ludcritz has studied in detail the germ-killing action of coffee infusion. Using by no means strong infusions, lie showed that a cer i tain harmless micrococus germ dies in I ten per cent, coffee solution in from three to five days. The bacillus of ty phoid fever perished in from one to three days under coffee influence, and the cholera bacillus in from three to four hours. The germ of anthrax or splenix fever died in from two to three hours; but the spores of young forms of the lat ter germ perished in from two to four weeks only. 'i hese latter results speak well for the : power of coffee as a germicide, for an | thrax germs and spores arc by no means easy to scotch or kill. Possibly after these revelations coffee administered in- I ternally may be utilized as a lemcdy for I germ produced diseases. As it is, its virtues as a revivor and "pick-me-up" J have long been appreciated outside the i medical world.—[lllustrated News of the ! World. THE JOKER'S BUDGET. JESTS AND YARN 3 BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. A Mistake Somewhere —Oae of the Unfortunates—A Hint to the Wealthy, Etc., Etc. A MISTAKE SOMEWHERE. A man with a stick and bundle and foreign cut clothes was viewing the sights in the Battery yesterday forenoon when he attracted the attention of two other strangers, one of whom said : 44 There's a chap just landed from Norway.' 1 44 1 think he's a Finn," replied the other. 4, We11, I'll soon find out. Hello! Johnny, give us a pointer." 44 That I will, soir!" came the prompt reply. 44 1f either of yez is aching for a sore head just shpake the worud aud I'm the bye as kin give it to yez wid nateness and dispatch!"—[New York World. ONE OF THE UNFORTUNATES. Brothertou—Marriage is a failure. Benedict (in surprise)— Why, I didn't know you had ever been married! Brothertou—l haven't—l failed.— [Puck. A niNT TO THE WEALTHY. 44 My health is getting worse and worse; I've tried every climate and none of them afford me any relief," said a rich New York invalid to a friend. 44 1'1l tell you what to do; move to Sing Sing and board at the Penitentiary. There is no record of a millionaire ever having died within its walls."—[Texas Sittings. SANITARY INTELLIGENCE. Teacher—You must not come to school any more. Tommy, until your mother ha 9 recovered from the small-pox. Tommy—There ain't a bit of danger. She ain't going to give me the small pox. 44 Why, how is that?" "She's my stepmother. She never gives ine anything."—[Texas Sittings. NO COMPARISON. 44 What's the matter now?" called a Newark mother as her eight-year-old came to the gate howling. 44 Bin grabbed by a bull-dog!" he shouted between his sobs. 44 Lor', but what a start you gave mc! I didn't know but what you'd been over taken by a mosquito! Don't make such a fuss as that about a nip from a bull dog!"—[New York World. INTERPRETING A LOVER'S RIDDLE. Miss Sweet (aged sixteen) —800-hoo- hoo-00-00-oo! Mrs. Sweet—What's the matter, child? Miss Sweet—Jack has sent me a ha-ha heart of stone. 800-hoo-oo! Mrs. Sweet (examining the jewel)— Come, come, darling. It's made of dia monds. The proper interpretation of it is 44 dear heart."—[Jeweller's Weekly. BIIE is NOW. "Was that your sister I saw you with last night?" 44 Not when you saw me; I hadn't asked her then."—[Brooklyn Life. BEWARE. Dora—Jake says he loves you. Cora—l don't believe it. Dora—Nor do I. Cora—You are a horrid minx.— [Epoch. HONORS EASY. Mrs. Wcdsoon (poutingly)—Mrs. Old wife next door ha 9 had two new dresses * to my one. | Mr. Wedsoon (spouse No. 2) —Yes, my dear, but you've had two new husbands to her one.—[New York Weekly. THEIR DISADVANTAGE. Johnson—These whistling girls seem to get pretty big pay. Bronson—Yes, but remember they have to whistle for their salaries. IIE SAT TOO FAR AWAY. Mr. Prosey (treating his best girl to a ride) —You know Smith? He's too lib eral. The trouble with him is that he's not close enough for his own good. Miss Spooney—That's just your fault, dear. You're not close enough yourself. And Prosey suddenly became silent, wondering what she meant.—[Rider and Driver. THAT SILLY CniLD. 44 Your dear little boy paid mc such a pretty compliment; he said I looked real handsome," said Mrs. Hostetter to Mrs. Lydia Pinkham. "Did he say that?" 44 Indeed ho did, the little angel." "Oh, he is such a silly child. Some times I think he has not got good sense," responded the mother, and now they have quit swapping bangs when they go out shopping.—[Texas Sittings. TOO MUCH TEMPTED. Judge—You are accused of house breaking. What have you to say for yourself? Prisoner—Judge, listen! Two o'clock at night, no watchman on the premises, a window open on the ground floor. How could I help it? You would have climbed in yourself.— [Fliegendo Blact ter. A SAD CASE. Papa—Well, has that young spend thrift beggar promised to cease his im pertinent attentions to you? Penelope—Yes, sir. Papa— Well, what are you crying about, then? Penelope—l'm afraid he'll keep his promise.—[Munsey's Weekly. THOUGHTS OF HOME AND WIFE. Wife—John, you often think of your birdie during business hours, don't you? Husband—l did to-day. A button came off my vest. SAD NEWS. Clevcrton—Have you any idea how much that dress cost that Miss Swans down had on la9t night? Dash a way—Yes. $125. Clevcrton—How did you come to know? Dashawny (sorrowfully)— Her father took pains to tell me the other day.— [Cloak Review. STRICTLY IIONEBT. Clerk—The regular price of this coat is S2O, but you may have it for $lB. OS. Customer—Why the reduction. Clerk—l just saw that one of the but tons was missing. SPECIAL INDUCEMENT. "Come, now, old man, let's go to the theatre—it costs only twenty krcutzcr." 4 'Can't afford it." "Can't afford it? Why, look you, the | bulletin-board says there are seven j deaths in the piece—there you arc— . seven deaths! It don't come to three krcutzcr a death!"—[Fiicgcndeßlaettcr. LOTE AT FIRST SIGHT. Friend—So yours was a case of love at first sight? Mrs. Gettliere Yes, indeed, I fell desperately in love with my dear hus band the moment I set eyes upon him. I remember it as distinctly as if it were yesterday. I was walking with pat>a on the beach at Long Branch, when sudden ly papa stopped, and, pointing him out, said, 44 There, my dear, is a man worth ten millions."—[New York Weekly. WONDERFUL TALENT. 44 1s he a good singer?" l4 ls he? Why the other night ho sang two minutes without stopping to breathe. I tell you, he's great. He ought to be in a museum." AN INCONSIDERATE YOUTH. The Reckless Suitor—lf you don't ac cept me my death will lie at your door, for I will shoot myself right here before you! The Cool and Collected Girl—Please do it in the next room instead, Mr. Simpson. The carpet in this one is just new, and mamma will scold terribly if it is spoiled. FORGOT HIS YOUTH. He (five years after) —All this gush about love is extremely stupid; where did the book come from, anyhow? I must say the person who selected it showed a very insipid taste. Sh6 (quietly)—lt's the book you gave, me during our honeymoon, John; we read it eleven times the first week wc had it. Prolonged Silence.—[Columbia Spec tator. THE RETORT COURTEOUS. "And I say," said Lord Spindle shauks, 44 why is it you Americans al ways have youah hands in youah pock ets?" 44 Very simple reason. We want to keep foreigners from picking 'em." THE FICKLE MAIDEN. At seven o'clock she sits and sighs, 44 Why doesn't he come? Heigho!" I At twelve o'clock she sits and yawns, "Dear me! Why doesn't he go?" THE HOUSE AND THE PRICE. Crawford—This is a snug little house of yours, Ilvinan. llyman—lt ought to be. It cost a snug little sum. ALMOST A PROPOSAL. Amy—Don't you think that 1 am a sell-possessed girl? Jack —Yes; but why not be possessed by some one else? THE REQUISITE. Aspirant—What is the chief requisite for a young lady entering the literary field?" Editor - Postagestamps.—[Judge. DISPROVED. Justice—What's the charge against the prisoner? Officer —Stealin' two cakes of soap, yer Honor. Justice—The prisoner is discharged. No one who looked at him could suspect him of having seen soup within two years. MAMMA WAS MISTAKEN. Mamma (severely)—l am sure I heard Mr. Swetecncr kissing you last evening. Daughter—lmpos-iblc, mamma. lam positive that my voice, telling him to stop, drowned all sound of it.—[Yankee Blade. FRESH. "Where are you going, my pretty maid?" "I'm off for the seashore, sir," she said. "May I go with you, my pretty maid?" "Yes, you're in need of salt," she said. TOO TRANSPARENT. A recruit was brought up for medical inspection, and the doctor asked him: "Have you any defects?" "Yes, sir; I am short-sighted." "How can you provo it?" "Easily enough, doctor. Do you see that nail up yonder in the wall?" 4 4 Yes." "Well, 1 don't." MUCH DIBGUIBED. Figgs—Some people believe that pov erty is a blessing. Diggs—l guess it is one of those bless ings in disguise that we read about. HLOOD TO HLOOI). Silverspoon—l'm to have friends to dine to night. Have you any oranges fit to set before the 400? Grocer—Here, boy, show Mr. Silver spoon our blood oranges.—[New York Herald. SHE TnOUOHT IIIM SLOW. Jake Jimpson—Your father thinks I am a fast young man. Cora Bellows (yawning)—l don't set how he could. IIE HELPED HIMSELF. Justice—What's the charge against this prisoner? Officer O'Fagan—Dissaving ther per lace, Yer Honor. He put ther sound soide av his apples on ther outside. — [Yale Record. MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES. Harold Harrington—Did I not see you talking with Downtown yesterady? Don't you know he is in twade? Cholly Cholmondeley—Ya'as. But it don't agwee with him. He has failed three times.—[Jewelers' Circular. Valuable Chinese Roots. In China there is a root called Khe-ki ye, which often sells from 20 to 100 times its weight in gold. In Nanchuria, the same root, under a different name, if anything even more unpronounceable, sells equally as high. These roots, which in order to be highly valuable, must be of a peculiar shape, are bought only by the mandarins, priosts and others of the wealthiest classes. Single roots ot this | wonderful (?) plant, not weighing more than the tenth of an ounce, are said to often sell for from SSO to S7O each. What is still more remarktble about this valuable Eastern root is the fact that it is a closely allied species, if not identi cal, with our common ginseng.—[St. Louis Republic. the Bayeaux Tapestry. The Bayeaux tapestry is a web of can vas or linen cloth, upon which is em broidered in woolen threads of various colors, a representation of the invasion and conquest of Eugland by the Nor mans. The canvas is 214 feet long by 20 inches broad, and is preserved in the public library at Bayeaux. Tradition asserts that it is the work of Matilda, wife of William the Conqueror, and it is believed that if she did not actually stitch the whole of it, she at least took put in it and directed the execution of it by her maids. YOU ARE INVITED To call and inspect our im mense stock of DRY GOODS, Groceries, Provisions, FURNITURE, Etc. Our store is full of the new est assortment. The prices are the lowest. All are invited to see our goods and all will be pleased. J. P. McDonald, 3. W. Corner Centre aud South Sta., Free-land. FERRY & CHRISTY, dealers in Stationary, School Books. Periodicals, Song: Books, Musical Instruments, CIGABS and TOBACCO, SrFOIKTIIbTGr C3-OOXSS Window Fixtures and Shades, Mirrors, Pictures and Frames made to order. Pictures enlarged and Framed. Crayon Work a Specialty. 41 Centre Street, Quinn's Building vrnnrnn I 111111 175 th Edition Now Ready Wr W U ftrr.n A book of over 200 pages, 111J It U1 111 lill giving more information mraTKi&HiS the name of every newspaper published, hav ing a circulation rating in the American News paper Directory of more than 25,000 copies each* Issue, witli the cost per line for advertising in them. A list of the best papers of local circula tion, in every city and town of more than 5,000 population with prices by the inch for one month. Special lists of daily, country, village and elass papers. Bargain offers of value to ! small advertisers or those wishing to ekperi ment Judiciously with a small amount of money. Shows conclusively "how to get the most ser vice for the money," etc., etc. Sent post paid to any address for 30 vents. Address, GEO. P. HOWELL SI Co., Publishers and General Adver tising Agents, 10 Spruce Street, New York City. |$ C. D. ROHRBACH, Dealer in— Hardware, Paints, Varnish, Oil, Wall Paper, Mining Tools and mining Sup plies of all kinds, Lamps, Globes, Tinware, Etc. Having purchased the stock of Wm. J. Eckert and added a considerable amount to the present stock I am prepared to sell at prices that aefy compe tition. Don't forget to try my special brand of MINING OIL. Centre Street, Freeland Pa. E. M. GERITZ, 23 years in Germany and America, opposite the Central Hotel, Centre Street, Freelaed. The Cheapest Repairing Store in town. Watches. Clocks and Jewelry. New Watches, Clocks and Jewelry on hand for the Holi. (lays; the lowest cash price in town. Jewelry repaired in short notice. All Watch Re pairing guaranteed for one year. Eight Day Clocks from $3.00 to $12.00; New Watches from $4.00 up. E. M. GERITZ, Opposite Central Hotel, Centre St., Freeland. GO TO Fisher Bros. Livery Stable FOR FIRST-CLASS TURNOUTS At Short Notice, for Weddings, Parties and Funerals. Front Street, two squares below Freeland Opera House. D. O'DONNELL, Dealer in —GENERAL— MERCHANDISE, Groceries, Provisions, Tea, Coffee, Queensware, Glassware, &c. FLOUR, FEED, HAY, Etc. We invite tho people of Freeland and vicinity o call and examine our largo uid handsome took. Dou't forget the plucc. Opposite the Valley Hotel. COJIl! COE! The undersigned has been appoint ed agent for the sale of G. B. Markle & Co.'s Highland Goal. The quality of the Highland Coal leeds no recommendation, being hand icked, thoroughly screened nnd free rein slate, makes it desirable for lomestie purposes. All orders left it the TRIBUNE office will receive l'ompt attention. Price $3.75 per two-horse wagon load. T. A. BUCKLEY, Agent. PETER TIMONY, BOTTLER, And Dealer in all kinds of Liquors, Beer and Porter, Temperance Drinks, Etc., Etc. Geo.Ringler&Co.'s Celebrated LAGER BEER put in Patent Sealed Bottles here on the premises. Goods de livered in any quantity, and to any part of the country. FREELAND BOTTLING WORKS, Cor. Centre and Carbon Sts., Freeland. (Near Lehigh Valley Depot.) H. M. BRISLIN, UNDERTAKER AND EMBALMER. Also dealer in FURNITURE of every description. Centre Street, above Luzerne, Freeland. 7 Wkendalusl^ [SBAVINCUREM The Most SncceHHful Remedy ever discov ered, as it is certain In its effects and does not blister. Read proof below: .. _ _ _ BROOKLYN, Conn., May 5, '9O. Dr. B. J. KENDALL CO.: Sirs Last Summer I cured a Curb upon my horse with your celebrated Kendall's Spavin Cure and It was the best Job l ever saw done. I have a dozen empty bottles, having uned it with perfect success, curing every thing I tried It ou. My neighbor had a horse with a very bad Spavin that made him lame. He asked ino how to cure It. I recommended Kendall s Spavin Cure. Ho cured the Spuvlu In just three weeks. Yours respectfully, WOLCOTT WITTLtt. _ _ . „ COLUMBUS, Ohio, April 4, *9O. Dr. B. J. KESDALI. CO.: Dear Sirs : I have been selling more of Kendall's Spavin Cure and Flint's Condition Powders than ever before. One man said to me, It was tho best Powder I ever kept aud the best ho ever used. Respectfully, OTTO L. HOFFMAN. _ CniTTENANOo, N. Y., May 19, *9O. Da. B. J. KENDALL CO., Dear Sirs: I have used several bottles of your Kendall's Spavin Cure with perfect success, on a valuable and blooded mare that was quite lame with a Bone Spavin. The mare Is now entirely free from lameness and shows no bunch <m the Joint. Respectfully, F. H. UuTCULNS. KENDALL'S SPAVIN CUKE. Da. B. J. KENDALL CO., Geuts:—l tliluk it my duty to render you my thanks for your far famed Kendall's Spavin Cure. 1 had u four year old filly which I prized very highly. She hud a very severe swollen leg. I tried about eight different kinds of medicines which did no good. I purchased a lx>ttlo of your Kendall's Bpavln Cure which cured her In four duys. I remain yours, MARION DOWDKN. Price $1 per bottle, or six bottles for $3. All drug gists have it or can get It for you, or It will be sent to any address ou receipt of price by the proprie tors. Ult. 11. J. KENDALL CO., Enosbnruli Fulls, Vermont. A. RUDEWICK, GENERAL STORE. SOUTH HEBERTON, PA. Clothing, Groceries, Etc., Etc, Agent for the sale of PASSAGE TICKETS From all the principal points in Europe to all points in the United States. Agent for the transmission of MONEY To all pnrts of Europe. Checks, Drafts, and Letters of Exchange on Foreign Hanks cashed at reasonable -"I vs. S. RUDEWICK, Wholesale Dealer In Imported Brandy, Wine And All Kinds Of LIQUOBS. THE BEST Beer, Sorter, -A.le And. Bro-wn Stovit. Foreign and Domestic. Cigars Kept on Hand. S. RUDEWICK, SOUTH HEBERTON. A pamphlet of information the laws,showing How to l Obtain Patents, Caveats, Copyrights, sent York.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers