ASPIRE. Never ceaso iiHpirin^r— Lon; for Bonn-tiling higher Greater good aspiring. Fill your lieart, ne'er tiring, With a holy fire. Cast off every fetter— Keep each hope ulive! Make succesß your debtor! Failure e'en is better Than to never strive. Though your great aim never Here you may attain, Constant be endeuvor! To aspire is ever In its If a gain. —[George Birdseye, in Detroit Free Press. THE SMOKING CHIMNEY. BY E. C. "WAGOENEU, In the top story of a pretentious dwell" ing in the Rue de la Caussee d' Antin, immediately under the roof, perched, like a sparrow on the top branch of a poplar, a young man by the name of Passereaud, of quiet, orderly habits, amiable temper, modest bearing and— whose clothes were patched. lie had just graduated from the Kcole Centrale and shortly afterwards had been offered by the "Calcium Mines of the High Peloponesus, Limited," an appoint ment at live huudred francs per month, J which, I am told, would have given him necessities. Unfortunately he had been j thinking of inventing an "automatic i brake" to keep locomotives from run ning through each other when meeting on a single track, or ut least to soften the shock of contact till they would only gently kiss each other's "pads." Full of his idea he had declined the J company's proposals in order to give i himself entirely, day and night, to the confection of draughts for this wonder-' ful invention destined to revolutionize j tho world. He expected from it both fame and fortune, and meanwhile con- } fined himself in the intervals of his draw- ! ing to a daily loaf and a sou's worth of ; cheese and came precious near starving. He did not, however, mind this, his ! brake being almost completed, and as j automatic as the most fastidious locomo tive could possibly desire. One clay on the staircase, or rather 011 the first floor landing, he came face to face with a beautiful young girl, a blonde, 1 and so graceful of walk and carriage that a classic would at once have written her down a goddess. She came and she dis appeared light and airy, leaving behind her only a subtle perfume of sweet ver-, bena, and Passereaud, amazed by the sight of so many charms concentrated in ! a single girl, stood a good live minutes j staring blankly into space awaiting a re- 1 appearance of this incomparable neigh- } bor. The next day, by the most astounding coincidence, which we must regard as singularly fortuitous. Passcreaud chanced ofind himself on that same landing at that same hour,and —more fortuitous still i —the girl referred to passed him again, j This time—at least it seemed so—she blushed as she passed. Fearing to have offended her Passe-1 rcaud vowed that nevermore would he descend those stairs at a similar hour,, but on the morrow he suddenly became j aware that urgent business compelled ! him to go out at the identical moment when he had decreed the day before that go out he would not. He took his hat, and—it happened exactly as lie had feared—a third en counter occurred and Passcreaud was iu consolable, for the young girl had un doubtedly blushed deeper than before. \ He was furious at himself; the un-1 known, scandalized by such a persecu tion, would certainly take instant meas ures to escape his gaze. And to make sure of his doom Passcreaud daily took the stairway as nearly as possible at that same hour, and each day regularly stepped aside to make room for this desirable neighbor. Mindful, too, of his mother's training he bowed each time he met her, and soon observed that the nod in return was growing almost friendly. She was becoming familiarized. When he made that discovery he went to regard himself in the glass of a shop window—a similar article being unknown xn his chamber—to ascertain if his outer man was such as would be pleasing in the eyes of a beautiful girl. Decidedly his coat was not of a fashionable cut, but his face was by no means repulsive— j rather the contrary. After which, with due precaution, lie made inquiry as to the name of the pret- j tygirl that lived on the first floor—why, ' lie didn't exactly know, save that he de sired to learn it and was more than c harmed to find that it was "Mile. Valen tino." Wanderings like these were not calcu lated to promote the perfections of the 1 "automatic brake." The drawings were stil! unfinished. It had become necessary that his "flame "should be crowned with the briefest delay, for if our student was to continue to sigh in vain, he wanted to enter at once into the condition of desolate lover. The desolate lover iu j him would kill the inventor, and inl consequence—the veriest trifle to a rejec ted state of mind—kill all the travelers whom otherwise it was the mission of his invention to save. Such being the case, Passereaud, who 1 was as reckless personally as he was de- : voted to his fellow beings, made a care- J ful examination of his poor wardrobe, I dressed himself in the best of the lot and descended to Valentine's father, no 1 other, in fact,than M. Lamantin, proprie- j tor of this pretentious dwelling and ' bluntly addressed to him -really I blush j to transcribe it, it was so very innocent i the following request: "I have the honor, monsieur, of ask- ' ing you for mademoiselle,your daughter's 1 hand "hh: What? My daughter's hand?" cried the old man, critically scanning Passereaud from head to foot; " for whom, if you please?" "Myself, monsieur." "i or yourself—but are YOU not my loeataire of the top floor; way up there under the eaves?" "The same, monsieur." "'I hen—what is amiss with your head young man? Know you not that my ! daughter has four million francs, a tri ' fling detail that I'm good enough to im- 1 part to you! Four millions, understand! Ami you—what have you?" "Nothing," the inventor replied with the most ingenuous frankness; then added: "I am not rich now, but if you will give me the hand of Mile. Valentine believe mo that my work will soon more than meet my modest requirements." "Be oil! Be off, I say!" roared the irate proprietor. "Is it to make 1110 the laughing stock of the town that you ask me for my daughter's hand? Quick, off with you " Hut, see you, monsintr, it I'tn not to return till my brake wins millions forme I run the risk of tinding Mile. Valentino married to another man! I will take no such chances, sir!" 44 So much the worse for you, then! How can I help it? Your servant, with all my heart, monsieur my locatuiro!" And Passereaud retired, positively so desolate that he forgot to he confused, while always behind him M. Lamnntiu was roaring: "Not a sou! Nothing to do! And deinauding my daughter's hand! It is just too funny for anything I" That visit, however, which had such disastrous results for our inventor, made but a passing impression upon the mind of M. Lamantin. Thnt which made his face so anxious some twenty-four hours later was the fact that his drawing room fire had suddenly began to smoke like a troof er. In the middle of December, too, and just as he was preparing to celebrate his only daughter's nineteenth birthday. Was ever a proprietor more sorely tried ( In hot haste he sent for his architect; in hot haste, puffing with importance and running, the architect caine. 4 'ls that all?" cried he angrily when he found what was up. "You sent for mc for that?" 4 'l tind it euough, too," responded M. Lamantin. with equal acerbity. "Think you it's a pleasure to own a chimney that makes us cry all day long? One would suppose we'd a funeral in the house!" "Hut your chimney, sir, was built by my plan"" said the architect; "that is to j say, it can not smoke!" ""All the same, sir, the chimney : smokes." 1 "Hecause you burn coal in it. Burn wood, sir, and wood entirely. You'll get a good, clear tire." "Wood it shall be, then." Hut the substitution of wood for coal did not make the chimney draw a whit! the better. M. Lamantin, who was a man of prompt measures, went himself to the best architect in Paris and begged him to come and look into the matter. The architect consented aud the ex amination made, was exceedingly frank in the expression of his opinion. "Who is the ass that built the thing, anyway?" said lis. "Maudclet, my architect." "So 1 thought, the donkey of donkeys! Extend the smokestack fifty centimetres higher to increase the draught and it will go all right." "How simple." "When one knows what to do—yes." The smokestack was raised, the chim ney still smoked and the great architect's bill was higher than the stack. Disgusted with architects, M. Laman tin then addressed himself to chimney doctors. The first one called in had just come down from Piedmont. No chimney had ever resisted him. A thing in sheet iron in the shape of a serpent, was attached in a jill'y to the top of the I already tall stack. The drawing room was now bluer than a country tap room. A second C. L). was called to attend it. lie, too, was from Piedmont, and he in stantly directed that his colleague's sheet iron serpent be replaced by a little, thing of his own in the shape of a helmet. At this juncture, happily for all con cerned, the concierge interposed. ".Monsieur is wrong to be so discour aged," said he. "I was talking a while ago to one of the locataires—oh, none of the locataires that monsieur knows 1— and he told me, this small rent payer, that he could lix monsieur's chimney in i less than five minutes." ! "Bring him here, then, immediately— immediately, 1 say—or I'll notice him to get out." And quick as lightning Passcreaud for Passcreaud it was—was down from his lofty height at M. Lainantin's bid ding. He found the proprietor stamping with rage and blowing his lingers in his freez-1 1 ing drawing-room. j "Oh, it's you, is it," said he, "that makes bold to cure in five minutes an in | curable chimney? No matter. Go on; j have a try. I want to see you do it." ! "Five miuutes is rather brief. I want an hour." | "Then an hour you shall have. Here's a chimney that all the architects and doc tors iu town have given up as hopeless. . If you cau cure it, that is, make it send ! the smoke to the sky instead of into my apartments, I'll give you—well, whatever I you choose. I'm out of all patience—in no mood for haggling. Name your j price!" j " Monsieur," answered Passereaud, with dignity, "you will give me the hand of Mile. Valentine! That is my price, to be paid only after success." | "For a chimney? You are crazy, man ; crazy as a loon!" "For a chimney, monsieur, 110; for 1 that chimney, yes. Call in Gamier, if you like, the builder of the Opera House; ! give him, to back him, a picked gang of architects, chimney doctors or aeademi j cians, and if the whole of them can do in i three months' time what I am going to j do in one hour, namely, keep this and all ; other chimneys in the condition of this one, from smoking, 1 consent that you call and fool both." j "Yes, yes, I know; but the hand of j my daughter is a pretty steep price, j Anyhow, a secret such as you say you 1 possess should be worth to you a pot of j money." 1 "As you say, the secret is, sir, but I ' don't care to part with it. For that rea ! sou you will allow me to shut myself aloue in the drawing room for the stipu lated hour, and moreover give me your word of honor uot to peep through the keyhole. I work only on that under standing." "Agreed. But why haven't you got out a patent? It would spare you all such j childish precautions." | "Lack of money for the annual fee." "Borrow it and pay from the profits." "I don't fancy loans." "So be it; have your way. I'm oIT. Do your little machinations in peace and quiet." "No peeps through the keyhole?" "I swear it." "And if I succeed I've your promise— Valentine's hand?" "Come, coine! my loeataire, begin your work; no knife to my throat,please all the same, I'm a man of justice." But once alone Passearaud, instead of obeying and beginning bis work, began losing his time in idle trifling highly in appropriate to the gravity of the situa tion. An attentive observer—but Pas- I sereaud, remember, had shut out all ob servers—would have heard him murmur ing as In- flitted about: "It is here, and here, and also here, that my adored one breathes!" And that same observer would have been greatly amazed to see him skip j from one seat to another, now lying at I length upon a velvet (touch—as Valentine I doubtless had once lain -then doubling 1 himself into a low chair for precisely the same reason—that Valentine hadjpei tain lysat there—and then madly'throwing kisses t<, the pictured face of a girl 011 the wall—<h! such a pretty face, too, and strangely like the face that;we have seen on the stairs. These frivolous doings having ex hausted the allotted sixty minutes, I'as sereaud threw open the door and called them all in. "The fire, monsieur, the fire; start it immediately!" His command obeyed, pnrblcu! the chimney was found to draw with such force aud energy that it very nearly drew up the logs themselves. A gentle heat pervaded the apartment, slowly, if I may phrase it so, unfreezing it—and no smoke! The Parisian architects and Piedmont doctorhood were beaten clean out of sight and mind. Above tbemPassereaud's genius shone like the sun. A blind mau could have seen it. "It is sublime!" cried M. Lamautin in an ccstacy of joy; "sublime, my little loeataire! You are a born inventor, and you shall also be my son-in-law if Valen tine says so." "Oh! yes, papa!" said Valentine; "yes, yes; your son-in-law!" One year after this marvelous event Passereuud was the father of a son as beautiful as the day. M. Lamantin was again ecstatic. " Which reminds me, my son-in-law," said he, some hours after the event, "that there is one tiling that I want you to explain to me a little more fully. For more than six months now all the railroad companies of the country have adopted your 'automatic brake;' barrels of money come to you from all quarters, nud you sell privileges for the use of your invention in nearly every country of the world. You arc rich not only through your wife, but ou your own ac count. Doesn't this set you to thiukiug? It does rae, at any rate. lam worrying about your other invention, which you leave entirely idle." "My other invention, father-in-law?" cried Passerenud, bewildered; "what do you mean?" " Decidedly you are too modest! You kuow very well what I mean. What could I mean but that secret of yours to keep chimneys lrom smoking? You cau't tell me now that you are too poor to pay the annual fees!" "Bah! it would bring in precious little!' 1 " Nevertheless, it would put a ring on your finger. One should never neglect a chance of making money." "Father-in-law, please dou't let us talk of that." "Why uot, pray? I know that Pm right." "But you will make me tell things that I don't want to tell, things that I want to keep to myself." "(Jo 011, goon; tell, I say!" "Well, then, know you that! never stopped your chimney from smoking—l only stopped making it smoke! A shade of difference, you see. I was living un der the roof then, and had only to stretch up my arms and cover the vent pipe with anything handy, a plate, for instance. It was your fault entirely; like other fathers you obliged the lover to resort to strategy to win the girl. My success, however, was due to Valentine, since it was she that told the couciergc to introduce nic as the greatest (J. D. iu the neighbor hood. Forgive us both and console your- ' self with tlie thought that it was one of Fortune's capers. Success for lovers is really a law of nature.—[From the French. Preparing the Mail. In cities and large towns the letters are gathered from the boxes by the car riers and taken to the central office or to designated branch stations. In smaller places they are mailed directly at the ofiico. If the office is large enough to renuire a number of clerks, one is de tailed for the work of getting the mail ready for despatch, and is called the mailing clerk. The table at which he works is culled the mailing table, and is raised so high from the fioor that he can work comfortably at it while standing. The back edge is usually a few inches the higher, so that the top will incline toward the person at work; and into the table is set, so as to be even with the top, a large piece of rubber an inch or more in thickness. On the table beside this lie the canceling stamp and ink pad. The Government requires that the stamp be of metal, and the ink black and indel ible; but this rule is sometimes broken in small country offices by the use of rubber stamps and colored inks. The Govern ' mont furnishes all necessary stamps and • ink, and the only excuse for not follow i ing the rule is that where there are few • letters the rubber stamp and common Ink may be more convenient. The penalty for removing the cancellation from a ; stamp and using the stamp again, is im ' prisonuient for from six months to three years, or a fine from SIOO to SSOO. The letters aud postal cards taken from the box are arranged in piles, all right side up; and the liiailiug clerk, placing a pile of them on the table, in front of i him, cancels them with almost incredible j rapidity, sliding each piece, before he ' strikes it, upon the rubber in tlie table, thus securing a good impression of the stamp, and a slight rebound to aid tlie next stroke.—[St. Nicholas. A Peculiar Pebble, There is now on exhibition at the Woman's Exchange a most wonderful little pebble. At lirst sight it looks to be only a small fragment of red lime I stone. As a matter of fact, that's what it is, but it is a peculiar fragment. When you hold it at a certain angle with your eye, a man's face is seen, perfect in every feature even down to the mustache. It is a face of great strength, but such an exceptionally sad one, that, as somebody who looked at it the other day declared, 4 'it might almost be taken as the embodi ment of the three S's—Sorrow, Sacrifice and Suffering." The pebble was picked up in 1880 by Mrs. Bacon on the summit of the Kofelspit/.e, a mountain overhanging the village of Obcrnmincrgau, where she had been to see the Passion Play. She slipped the pebble into her pocket with several others, and upou her return to her home iu Atlanta, Ga., she placed it in her private collection with various other mementoes of her tour. About two years ago the collection was burned, but the pebble escaped destruction. After ward, when going through the ruins of her treasures, while holding the little pebble at a certain angle she perceived the face for the first time. The pebble has created a great deal of interest, and has been seen and carefully examined by a great many wise men, learned in rocks. —[New York Sun. The Champion Lazy Man. Even the preachers arc not averse to a joke that lies in the line of the profes sional funny man. One of them told the following in an east-side church late ly when he was invited to speak: A traveler discovered a man lying an tho ground one warm day within a foot or two of theshade of a tree. "Why don't you lie in the shade?" he inquired. 4 'l did," replied the man, "but it has moved away from me and I can't afford to follow it." 44 We11, if you are not the best spec imen of a lazy man I have seen yet 1 Make me another remark on a par with that and I'll give you a quarter." The man said, 44 Put the quarter into my pock et." He got it.—[Buffalo Express, THE JOKER'S BUDGET. JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. At Last—Misunderstood—She Never Knew—A Desirable Condition, etc., etc. AT LAST. Iler first beau was a tailor, blithe aud gay, But as a suitor he was far too fast. j Iler next one was a cobbler, and she , said, "I've found tlie man I truly love- at last." —[Philadelphia Times. MISUNDERSTOOD. He—l hear you attend the Oratorio] Society's performances. Were you pros- ; out ut the "Creation?' 1 She (indignantly)—l suppose you will next want to know if I sailed in Noah's ark.—[lllustrated American. SHE NEVER KNEW. lie—What do you think of the Alli ance for a third party? She (glancing at the ehnperone)—l never knew of a third party helping on an alliance.—[New York Herald. A DESIRABLE CONDITION. "I wish I were a Canadian boy," said Willie, ruefully, after Mr. Ferule, the school teacher, was through with him. "Why so?" asked Jimmie. "They are not going to do any more whaling for ten years." ENTIRELY FAIR. The maiden blushed and hung her head, "What do you take me for?" she said. The young man spoke up eagerly, "For better or for worse," said he. —[Pittsburgh Dispatch. THE AIRS WERE NUMEROUS. "How did you enjoy the opera last night?" asked Hojack. "Not very well," replied Passifcr. "The people in the next box prevented me from hearing anything." "They talked, did they?" "No, but they put on more airs than the oichestra played."—[Chicago lutcr- Oceau. WHAT WAS ON HER MIND. "I am sorry to say, Mr. Hicks," said the Boston girl, "that I cannot marry you, but I assuic you," she added, has tily, "this rejection does not necessarily imply that you lack literary merit. It I may be that " had poems rejected, too, eh!" said Hicks, interrupting, and Penelope blushed to think how she had given herself away.—[New York Sun. THE AUTHOR OK lIIS INJURY. Osborne —Harrington, of course you know of llaliburton ; come, I want to introduce you. Harrington—Excuse mc, I have no use for that fellow. Osborne—Why, what have you against him? Harrington—Well, old fellow, of course you didn't know; but, you sec, he jilted my wife once.—[Bazar. A FINE CHILD. Caller—And this is the new baby. Fond Mother—lsn't he splendid? Caller—Yes, indeed. Fond Mother—And so bright? See how intelligently he breathes. A SENSIBLE GIRL. Johnson—When I do marry I intend to marry a sensible girl, if I can find one. Tomson—Now there's Miss Shnrpo; she jilted me Johnson- - Just the girl I want. Won't you introduce me?—[Epoch. A YACHTMAN. May—And so you are an expert yachts man, Mr. Roundabout? Roundabout—Why, no; I never han dled a yacht in my life! May—You didn't! Then what a fib ster Tom Ryder must be! He told mc the other day that you were the cleverest hand in the whole city at standing oil a bar!—[New York Herald. HE "WASN'T IN IT." Sanso—Have you been playing poker for money? Rodd (disconsolately)—No; but the fellers I've been playing with have. RIHLOSOPIIY. This world is like a crowded bus; A few good men, perhaps, May find a seat, but most of us Must hang on by the straps. —[Chicago News. A HINT LOST. Waiter (as guest rises from his chair and moves away)— Beg pardon, but haven't you forgotten something, sir? Guest (not pleased with his dinner) — Not at all! I may forgive, but I never forget. A NEGATIVE FAULT. Father—Whose fault is it that you are not nearer the head of the class? Son—lt's the fault of the other fellows! Father—How's that? Son—'Cause they're smarter 'n I be. —[Epoch. USUALLY APPROPRIATE. Sanso—Have you a baseball team in your town? Rodd —Yes. Sanso—What do you call your nine? Rodd—Asinine. ACCOUNTED FOR. No statues arc put up of women great, And this the reason is (pray do not smile); In two short years the brass would ag gravatc Iler relatives and friends, compassionate, Because the costume would be out of style. —[New York Sun. WHAT SHE TURNED TO. "My heart has turned to stone," she said. I mourned at first, but soon got mad, For I discovered it had turned To a brown stone front my rival had. HE WAR EXPLAINING THE TARIFF. He—l don't think you exactly take me, Miss Ethel. She—l don't think I do, either. You see, I'm already engaged. A PAIR /OF 'EM. First Wife—There i 9 hardly any living with my husband. He doesn't know any thing. Second Wife—There is no living at all with mine. He knows every thing.— | Capo Cod Item. A BAD SETBACK. Eastern Man (in Kansas) —You wrote me that Dugout vide was to be the county seat, but I see that Sodroofville has got it; how did that happen? Dugoutville Man (sadly)—We ran out of ammunition.—[New York Weekly. HEALTH NOTE. A kind-hearted gentleman, seeing a number of boys with their pants rolled up wading about in the cold water with their bare legs, said: "Come out of that water, boys, or you will get a feirful cough." Little Tommy—l guess not. We don't cough with our legs, do we?—[Texjis Sittings. A PRACTICAL VIEW OF IT. Ella Wheeler Wilcox says that "while the eagle screams above the house tops the wolf howls at many a door." We should think that the howls of the wolf would frighten off the screaming eagle or vice versa.--[Norristown Herald. EASILY ARRANGED. Dasliaway (to hostess, after the even ing party)—l want to ask you if I may have the privilege of escorting the two Curtis sisters home? They are, by far, the prettiest girls in the room. Hostess—Certainly, my dear Mr. Dash away; I was just about to ask you if you would be so kind, for there is such a scarcity of gentlemen. But (archly) it is rather awkward for you that there arc two of them. Dasliaway-Oh, that's all right. (A moment later, to the elder Miss Curtis) —My dear Miss Curtis, I am going to escort your sister home; I will be back for you in half an hour.—[New York Sun. "OUR poo." " Sissy 1" called the boy as he ran up to a little girl standing at the gate in front of a house on High street, "run in and tell your mother that your brother Johnny is having a dog tight in the barn!" " Is he?" "Yes." "Is your dog in?" "Yes." "Which is whipping?" "Your dog." "Goody-good! Hurry around and tell Johnny to sic 'em, and to kick the other dog, and I'll stand in the back yard and tell ma if she comes out that it's only the cats."—[Detroit Free Press. A RISKY PROCEEDING. "So you love Diana Phayre! Have you ever given her a hiut of it?" "Well, I tried to break the ice the other day, but I'm afraid I chose an in opportune moment." "When was it?" "When I was out skating with her." —[Life. A SOCIAL ENTERPRISE. | "I understand there is a company in | New York that will furnish dudes for | escorts, or for use at germans and cotil lons. when there is a shortage of men." "I've heard of that. I saw one of their signs the other day in Harlem- Flats to Let,' " —[ Bazar. FROM BAP TO WORSE. Babooncy—Er—l say, I)c Qui lie, what was the name of the place where so many poor writers lived iu the last century? l)e Quille —Grub street. Baboouy—And do they live there still? Dc Quille—No; they've moved to No- Grub attic.—[Munsey's Weekly. TOO CHEAP. They were from Chicago and rich. The daughter was taking lessons in coy ness and social small talk. "A penny for your thoughts," she archly remarked to an abstracted visitor, and then felt from the look of horror that overspread her parent's face she must hnve been guilty of a false step. "Why didn't you offer him a dollar?" was that lady's criticism after the visitor's departure. "We've got money, and you mustn't be afraid to let folks know it."—[Philadelphia Times. METHOD IN HER MADNESS. Cobwigger—Why docs a woman have i her pocket where it's so hard to at? Merritt—So that she can stick her friend for the car fare.—[Epoch. Hawaiian Statistics. The Hawaiian Government is a limited constitutional monarchy. There is a Parliament, consisting of a House of Nobles and a House of Representatives, the former elected for six years, the lat ter for two. The two houses meet to gether, the King's ministers holding seats ex-ollicio. The foreign relations of the country are controlled by the United States Government. There is a standing army of 250 men, and a volunteer force of 250 more. The area of the islands which comprise the kingdom is 0,077 square miles. When Captain Cook dis covered the islands, more than a century ago, there were about 200,000 inhabi tants; in 1884 there were only 50,578, of whom 40,014 were native-, 7,939 Chinese and 2,000 Americans. The capital. Hon olulu, on Oahu Island, has 20,487 inhab itants. Religious freedom prevails. Public schools, 189 in number, are main tained at a cost of more than <5200,000 a year. The soil is of volcanic origin, but mostly extremely fertile. Sugar and rice are the chief products, and coffee,.hides, wool, whale oil and bone are also ex ported. Sugar exports in 1888 were worth slo,Bis,ooo, and rice $578,000. The islands are well supplied with rail roads, steamboats, telegraphs, and 44 all the modern improvements."—[Boston Transcript. Contempt of Death. A Russian officer, writing from Ciachta on the Chinese frontier, describes the ex ecution of twenty-six Tartar robbers, 14 everyone of whom died with a stoicism which only the highest philosophy could enable our Caucasian countrymen to imi tate." Stolid indifference to death seems, indeed, to be a characteristic of the Mongol race, but is certainly more a result of nervous constitution than of philosophy. Out-door life, familiarity with danger, etc., are apt to develop it in any clime, and Australia, as well as our own wild West, have produced abundant Tartars of the desoribod kind. A French military surgeon once told L. Oswald that after a protracted campaign nine out of ten veterans learned to face death about as coolly as plucky recruits would lace a storm or an ugly dose of medicine.—[The Voice. Cost of a London Fog. It is almost impossible to estimate the cost to Londoners of such a fog as that which spreads over a great part of the metropolis occasionally. To take the ease of lighting alone, it has been calcu lated that on a foggy day the receipts of one only of the large gas companies are increased by more than i' 5,000. Besides the increased receipts of other companies, and the numberless lamps and candles burned, allowance must be made lor the great falling off in the shop keepers' business for the day, no small item in what ought to be the' busy times I (receding Christmas. In the neighbor hood of Hyde Park corner locomotion was absolutely dangerous during the nf ternoon, despite the use of torches and lamps. [London News, MARVELOUS POWER. A HALF-WITTED MISSOURIANS GIFT FOR MATHEMATICS. Does the Work of Ten Bookkeepers in One Tenth of the Time, and Uses No Paper or Pencil. Rube Field is the kiugpiu of Missouri freaks. As loug as he retains a resideucc in that town, Warrensburg will be en titled to a place 0:1 the map. In a gene ral way Field is not burdened with in telligence, inherent or acquired. lie is absolutely devoid of information and possesses fewer social graces than a Dig ger Indian. YY ere it not for his peculiar faculty or "gift," as he terms it, he would be cata logued among idiots, and no more said. In arithmetic, however, he is a lightning striker. There is no problem so difficult that lie cannot solve it the instant he comprehends the terms. If a series of numbers, no matter how great or small arc called to him, he gives the amount ns soon as the last number is given by the experimenter. Physicians have counseled over him and the wise men of the neigh borhood have caucused on his case for the past twenty-five years or more, but 110 conclusion has been reached in their premises. Field first burst on Kansas City ten '• years ago. A large dry-goods store had changed hands and the purchasers de sired to take possession nt once, but with ordinary methods of invoicing, the stock could not have been valued in ten days 1 time. An envoy was*sent to Warrens burg, and after much peisuasion, induced statistical Keuben to come to this city. The different clerks stood in their de partments and called to Field the mer chandise and prices in their respective stocks, and Field gave the amount to a rapid accountant, who had difficulty in keeping the pace set by the calculator. When all the items had been made, they were read off to Field as rapidly as the accountant could articulate, and the sum total given by the arithmetician without turning a rule. He had, with the aid of six or eight men, performed in three ! hours of a Sunday morning the task that the men who assisted him could not have accomplished in ten days. The foregoing and subsequent state ments touching Field's properties may seem to partake somewhat ol the proper ties of the spectrum, but they are true nevertheless, and can be attested by thousands of citizens of Jackson County and Western Missouri. The man can neither write his name nor recognize it after another has produced it. lie cannot in figures express the numbers he so readily handles with his mouth, for the Arabic numbers are as meaningless to him as the inscriptions on the pyramids were to Spalding's string of baseball tourists. "How do you do it?" was the natural inquiry. " I jist does," was Field's brief re mark. Upon being pressed for another and fuller explanation, he said: "Yo' alls begins at the wrong end to figger. 1 begins at the tail end whar the answer is." When F. C. Fair lived in Warrens burg, previous to going to Jefferson as Governor Crittenden's Secretary, he took a lively interest in Rube's mental aud moral welfare, and frequently had the freak in his law office to attempt to iu still a working kuowlcdgc of godliness into him, but without any result that is yet apparent. Mr. Farr spent months in the aggregate endeavoring to explain the principles of rotation aud point out the blessings of cbriety to the man, but to no avail. Rube cannot make a figutc or refuse a drink to this day. Where he obtained even a speaking knowledge of the numerals is unknown, lie was queer from his birth, the result of prenatal influences, his mother having been seriously ill for some time prior to his advent. Instead of repairing to the local temple of learning he would wan der oft into the woods, aud here was an other singular trait brought out. Birds and squirrels do not avoid him as they do others, and reptiles of the earth show a strong affection for him. In summer he usually has an assort ment of reptiles concealed about him, and cannot be looked upon as cheerful company for those of nervous tempera ment. Rube could make large money if he could be prevailed upon to. leave home, but he does not care to get far away from Warrensburg. Here and at neighboring towns, whenever an- invoice of stock is received at a store, or when the annual accounts are taken, he is employed. When in Kansas City on the occasion above referred to lie earned S2OO in three days, several firms employing him. Another miraculous power with which Field is endowed is his ability to tell time. He usually qarrjes a watch, but as he doesn't know the characters on the dial-plate, ami winds it only when the inspiration seizes him, the machine may be considered rather in the light of a fashionable vanity. He is his own chro-' nomcter. At any period of the day or night he can give the exact meridian time, not alone in hours and minutes — but in seconds. He is absolutely correct. In common with all geniuses he has his frailty. It is a fondness for the rosy (qr which Field is most to be reproached. He gets drunk whenever and wherever, the opportunity offers and is in no wise particular about his bottle companions. Hundreds,of times.after, he has been ut crly oblivious to the flight of time he has been awukeped from n drunken stupor by those who doubted the com plete possession by him of his peculiar powers and the hour asked. Invariably have his responses been correct to the last tick of the watch.--[Kansas City News. A Servian Romance. A remarkable and very romantic case of unlawful extradition has been engag ing the attention of the Skupshtina. A handsome young Servian, having fallen in love with the daughter of a wealthy Beg, or Mussulman land owuer, in Alba nia, failed to obtain the consent of her father to his marriage because he would not become a convert to Islam. Accord ingly he eloped with the young lady, whose name is Fatima, and she, 011 reaching Servian territory, pi; of eased her perfect readiness to become a Christian. The Beg, however, had gone in pursuit of his daughter with a hand of Albauians, and, appealing to a Servian prefect, he bribed this .official to let the bride be kidnapped in the night and carried back to Albania. The prefect has been.dis missed, and the Skupshtina, moved by the woes of the bridegroom* is urging the government to insist that the Turkish authorities shall rcsto.o Fatima to her husband. The Foreign Minister has promised to do his best, but does not ap pear to be very sanguine of success. _ —j Tibetan Women. The women are as tall as the men, much more fully developed,, and fre quently quite good-looking. But the iron rule of fashion forces them to hide their rosy cheeks under a black coating of teU'ja, a-black, sticky paste made of catechu. This is to preserve their com plexion from the cutting wind—so say those who are matter-of-fact, but others tell a different tale. More than a hun dred years ago thore lived nt Lh'asa a great saint named Demo Rimpoch'c, who did much" to restore the purity of monas tic life, which had greatly tuffered un der the licentious rule of the sixth pon tiff of Lh'osa, Tslangyang jyats'o. Cauon law says that when a monk goes abroad he must keep his eyes fixed on the ground some little distance ahead of him, looking neither to the right nor to the left; but the rosy cheeks and bright eyes of the women caused the lamas to # forget this law, aud great disorders en sued. Demo Rinpoch'e then command ed that no woman should go abroad un less her face was well besmeared with black, and soon this became a fashion throughout the whole country. Time and again I tried to induce girls in the houses where I was stopping to wash their faces clean, promising them beads and other ornaments; but in vain. They said they washed only when the feasts came around, some four or five times a year.—[Century. SHATTERED BY SCIENCE. All the Romance of Hog-Killing Time Ha 3 Passed Away, An old-time hog-killing is hard to find j now. Meat is bought too cheaply from i 1 the West. The prairie farms, where corn d is burned as fuel, raise hogs too easily to 1 allow Southern farmers the luxury of I killing aud curing their own meat. You 1 g0 to the packing-houses of the West and ' drop a porker into the tdot. In fifteen minutes he comes out clear-ribbed and sugar-cured lots—with a can of pure lard thrown in, and all the hoof, hide and tallow present and accounted for. The poetry and plenty of the old plan tations have given way to the steam packing mills with their millions of pounds a mouth. Farmers used to make their hams from necessity. Now they put them up as a luxury. It has gotten so that none but well-to-do farmers can afford to raise their own meat. In those days of the steaming Gypsy pot, the hickory ashes, the ft pen and the crisp sward dyed in purple, we heard nothing of trichina; or pork corners. The only meat futures were when the shotcwas marked in July for killing in December. Sometimes a -0 mild winter robbed the farmer of his meat. Occasionally his pig sty and smoke-house were raided between the suns; but there was grease and plenty in ' the hog killing on the plantations. You rarely see that rare spectacle of a : roasted pig shipped upon the tabic en tire, like the peafowl in all his glory on the tables in Florence. There was the mellow apple in his mouth, caught iu his expiring effort, aud there, preserved with culinary skill is the ecstatic twist of his tail. Now the railroads and steamships have brought about a division j of labor. .. Your hogs arc steamed in I Chicago;your cows pustured in Michigan, I your turkey dressed in Vermont, your j syrup boiled in Cuba, your ice cream frozen in New York, your cuffs washed j in China, and your cotton by and by will be grown in India aud Africa. Then there will be nothing left in this solid i and sunny South but to cultivate melons | in summer aud millionaires in winter j and write about the good old times. — 1 [Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle. A Chinese View of Us. I 4 'Your superior skill iu the mathemat ical and mechanical arts we are ready to acknowledge," a learned Chinese once said to me, "but you must concede to us the palm of philosophy and letters." This estimate is the prevailing one among educated Chinese as they compare our civilization with their own. It may be modified, and doubtless will be, by further acquaintance; but it shows that they nre not imposed 011 by the glitter of wealth or noise of machinery. The material progress on , which we vaunt , ourselves weighs light in the scales when poised against moral principles and [es thetic culture. A letter of Mr. Yung wing, the well-known scholar and diplo mat, has fallen into my hands, of which the following is an extract. Certain zealous Americans had the doubtful taste to invite his assistance Iu a "con vention for promoting the general adop tion of a republican government." Ho replies: "In view of what the general government has done for the past twenty years in the way of enacting obnoxious laws against the Chinese, and without any provocation, flinging insult after in sult in the very teeth of the Chinese gov ernment, I cannot for the life of me see how republicanism is to become universal, or how the torch of American liberty is to enlighten the Eastern races when they arc strut out from its light." 1 feel con- fident that this would meet with similar confirmation on other points if wc hud access to the unpublished reports of the Chinese mission of inquiry.—[Forum. The Game of Billiards. j The game of billiards was iuvented about the middle of the sixteenth cen tury by a London pawnbroker named William Kew. In bad, stormy weather, when trade was slack, this pawnbroker was in the habit of taking down the three balls of his sign, and, with a yard-meas ure. pushing them about the counter, "billiard" fashion, into boxes fixed at the sides. In time the idea of a fenced table with pockets suggested itself. A black- Ictter manuscript of 1570 contains the following iu reference to the game aud % its originator: "Master Will Kew did make un (one) boarde wherebi a game is played with three balls; and all the youngenien were greatly recreated there at, chiefly the young clergymen from St. Pawlcs; hence one oi ye strokes was named a 'cannon,' having been by one of ye said clergymen invented. The game is now known by ye name of 'bill-yard,' because William, or Bill Kew, did first play it with a yard-measure. Tha stick used is now called a 'kue,' or kew, iu memory of Mr. Kew, who has been dead some time." It is easy to understand how "bill-yard" has been modernized into "billiard;" the transformation of "kew" into "cue" is equally apparent.— [St. Louis Republic. > Invention of Poplin, The original invention In poplin is claimed by Avignon, France, once a Papal See, 011 which account it was called papaline, in compliment of the reigning Pope, at which time—the fif teenth century—this rich material wa! produc ed to supply the gorgeous ecclesi astical vestments aud hangings in use. The industry was introduced into Dublin by French immigrants, refugees, at the time of the revocation of the Edict ol Nantes, who settled in that.part of thi Irish capital called "the Liberties." TliJ La Touche family established the firsfx£ organized manufactory there, whichjß|fl commenced operations in 1093, [PryflgJ Goods Chronicle. I
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers