ONK WOK!). ITTE MII ♦pie," thf irar.ior Haiti— ,' Victory, valor ami glory wed." ' Prithee, a balled- axtflauneil lh knight— "Prowesa. auveiiiuiH and faith unite." *'An ode to freedom,'* the patriot n-id ♦'Liberty *on and wrong defied." "Give nte a drama," the scholar asked— "The inner world in the outer masked." "Frame me a bonnet," the artist prayed— "Power and passion in hutmoujr plH.red." 4 'Sing me a lyric." the maiden sighed i4 A lark note waking the morning wide.'* **Nay, all too long." said tin.* busy age-* *'Write me h line instead of u |mge." Then swift years spoke, the poet heard, ''Your poem write in a single word." He looked into the muideu'h glow-big eye*, A moment glanced at the starlit skies; From ibe lights below to the lights above, And wrote the one word poem—Love. -[Wa'tnre Brine. THE CABINET'S SECRET. 1 had been mending linen all the morn ing for those four great, romping, precious boys, until my head ached vio lently, and my heart beat very impatient ly. I hud hoped to secure time for at least fifteen minutes 1 practice on Beet hoven's lovely 44 Moonlight Sonata" that morning, aud now the hand* of the little ormolu clock pointed to two o'clock, the children were just home from school, aud the last button sewn on. No music for me that day! My assistance would be urgently needed in the afternoon with lessons, and other mending, and I must forget mv desires for reading aud prac-, tisiug. Oh, dear! Don't think, gentle reader, that I was au impatient, querulous mother, repining j at those legitimate duties which every j maternal heart loves to perform. I was j only an aunt, just nineteen, with the 1 cares and responsibilities of a woman of thirty. When sister Bessie died her bus j baud would allow none but myself to j #ct as her substitute. 1 understood the j children, aud dear Bessie's disciplinary ; methods, he said, better than any of his family. So, young as I was, I cheerfully undertook the charge, simply because I loved Bessie so much. The circumstances of that morning hud been peculiarly trying; and completely discouraged, I felt uuythiug but patient and gcutle. The cares of a wife and mother come .so gradually that a woman l fully prepared to meet them, and can pear submissively the troubles which hoi own offspring bring But when these same heavy burdens full upon the shoul- I dors of a young girl, whose education is i Still unfinished, and whose mind and heart need much moulding, it is more than she can carry uncomplainingly. Father aud mother died when I was quite young, leaving me to Bessie's faith fill keeping. So when God took her, 1 was left alone, indeed, in this strange world. And at the time of Bessie's death, I lost one whom I had thought to call ray best earthly friend always, j Philip Harrington and I had grown up together with that peculiar love which, commencing at iniancy, 1 might say, grows aud strengthens with the years, until it has twined itself so tightly around the natures of its victims, that to root it out seems like snapping the ten drils of the heart. The histories of our lives were singularly similar, with this one exception, that while his father, a j rich banker, left his family abundantly i provided for, mine, a poor clergyman, j left scarcely enough to clothe ine.^ Mr. Currington died when Philip was only a year old, leaving six children and \ a very delicate wife, who survived him j only a year. A maiden sister of Mr. I C urrington then undertook the charge of I hi?- family, bringing the' children up j wretchedly, and spoiling them all but I Philip, who was too noble to be in flu- , rnccd by lier proud, mercenary ideas. As • father had labored very assiduously in j teutons of affliction in the Carrington family, doing all in his power to relieve and help them when they were too sor rowful to think for themselves, Mrs. Esther,the aristocratic spinster,deemed it her Christian duty to call upon us once a year. She would sail in upon us with majestic dignity, talk to us as though wc were servants, and advise us with a startling authority. Her visit lasted, happily for us,about ten minutes. When. , realizing the exceeding greatness of her j modest charity, she would rise ostcnta ! tiously, hand a five-pound note to me. as a "little pin money, poor dear ; don't j speak of it to any one," and leave. Even 1 after "rich George Thurston'' married Bessie, she continued the annual call ami donation, much to my humiliation and | disgust. She would allow none of the j girls to visit us. "The children of poor j clergymen, my dears, are unsuitable j companions for David < amngton's . daughters," she used to say; but, after Bessie became Mrs. Thurston, she so far forgot our degradation as to permit their culling on us occasionally. With j her nephew Philip she could do nothing. | Ho, finally dismissing him from her! thoughts, as "democratic and ungrate ful," she never mentioned our name, 1 except in scorn. What a deplorable crime this poverty is! Philip loved B< dearly, and I often, laughingly, told George that it was nothing hut his (George's) age | which secured her for him, for Bessie was ten yeurs older than Philip and she ' had been an invalid for two or three 1 years, but was seriously ill only three j weeks. Every day Philip's card was cut i up with choice fruits, exquisite flowers, and refreshing delicacies of all descrip tions. Dear sister! I knew from the first time she was getting ready for the "NY>\ Jerusalem," and yet no one else could sec the "ange.n' wings." George, so completely blinded by the physicians words of comfort, confidently expected that she would be well in a week or two. But Bessie and 1 knew. And she was only waiting till thu angels opened wide the mystic gate. But how mysteriously Philip and were separated. Ho it iC, our jovs an i ! sorrows come to us in lightning flashes; stunning in so suddenly that it seems w hen we arouse ourselves, like a wonder ful dream. She, sister, died on the r>tU of November, Philip's twenty-first birth day . an occasion anticipated with much expectation hy hint, as giving him posses- ! sion of his handsome property and his liberty. Only a mouth ago Bessie and I ' hail hoped to assist at this celebration. 1 And now she was lying cold and still. At such times no human sympathy, not j even the dearest, can pive us cousola- ! tion. I Was sitting, with the big, old fashioned Bible in my lap. reading the fifteenth chapter of Corinthians, when I heard through the open door of my room the voice of Philip in the ludl below. He was asking Juno "if Miss Huth would see him." 1 had given orders not to l>c disturbed, for 1 felt that I could not bear the sight of a strange face; and I hardly expected him to call, on that day at least. But at the sound of his voice 1 almost resolved to change my resolution; and yet, somehow, I could not let even Philip break in on that solemn hoar. While I hesitated I heard the outer door abut, and the question was decided J'or ue. He WHS gone, i He never came to the house but. once alter that, and then it was to bid us good by, preparatory to-starting on a long Continental tour. I had just re : turned from Greenwood, about a week after Bc-rie's death, when be was an ; nounced. With a glad little flutter of my heart 1 went down, sadly but calmly, to meet him. As T entered the parlor little Howard was lamenting, most clum j orously, over something, which seemed 'to distress him exceedingly, and upon inquiry, I found it wa in couuecticm with \ Philip. ;4 Oh, dear!" sobbed Howard, 1 4, Mr. Caning ton's going away for three 1 vears; and I love him, and don't want liira to go; and mamma's gone, and every body ! <>h. dear!" With faltering and astoui*hed voice, I turned to Philip for his explanation. With a strauge and diguilied demeanor, lie answered evasively. "Howard is excited, aud makes a great deal about nothing." "Ain't you going abouted Howard, I from behind the door, where he had hid den to conceal his tears. Anxiously I | watted his reply, looking steadily at him. "Ye*, 1 go on Wednesday, Mis* Kutli. Won't you give me your blessing, aud a> many commissions as 1 can conveniently ; execute in three years ?" I almost fainted, I was so overcome ' with astonishment and sorrow. i\ :■< this uiy old Philip i We were certainly not engaged, but still we had loved each other before Bessie died. Happily my i pride came to my assistance, and I an swered haughtily, 4 'Thank you. I can purchase what 1 need here." With a few affectionate farewell words : to the children, he rose, and taking my hand in his, said: "Take care of your self, Ruth ; when you need a friend,think ;of me. Hood-by, and God bless you all; ; and hastily kissing little threc-ycar-old ! Ruth (not* me), he was gone. When the front door closed I flew to my room, where no one can ever know how I suffered. But how my tide of recollections have , drifted mo away from that unhappy Wednesday, and my needlework! We were just seated at dinner, I tvith dis hevelled hair and morning dress, for it was snowing hard, and 1 expected no visitors, when Mabel Harrington's (little open carriage drove up, aud she with her sister Edith alighted. For a moment I I felt wickedly rebellious, and wished 1 was fashionable and rich, but T soon for got these inconsistent emotions in my | desire to touch up my appearance before they should cuter. But a little reflec tion induced me to conclude that I would see them in my housewife garb. They both rushed at mo with such vehe mence and affection that 1 was non plussed, and really would have preferred their stutelincss. 44 My dear Ruth,*' simpered Mabel, | 14 we arc getting up tableaux for Satur day night, and you must form one of the party: we need you for several charac ters. Let me see: what are they? 4Morn ing,' 4 Noon,' and 'Faith.' Now don't shako your head; we have calculated upon your lovely face, and certainly shall expect you. Your sister has been dead over a year, and you must come; nobody will think strange of it," Ac., | Ac., Ac., until in perfect desperation, 1 promised to be present at the rehearsal ! the next day. I knew full well that somebody had faired them, and in an extremity they had thought of me; still I decided to go, for 1 felt impelled by a strange force, which 1 could not explain, to enter the Harringtons' house. I wanted to see Philip's home. I was in a strange flutter of excitement I from Wednesday till Saturday. It was | not that I feared my ill-success in the i personification of the various characters ! assigned to me, or that 1 anticipated with ' ! enthusiastic delight the fashionable and 1 | uucongeniul entertainment; but there ' was that premonition of "coming i events." Ah! how often "they east their ! shadows before." The intervening days flew by swiftly, and with strange emotions 1 recognized myself in the elegant mirror in "Miss Esther's boudoir." 1 was actually per mitted to drc6B in this fastidious lady's room. The house was so immense that the amateur performers had ample ac commodations, each young lady being offered a separate dressing-room. By a j strange accident, or as it afterwards | proved a loving providence, Miss Carr j rington's charming little apartment was | chosen for me. My coadjutors all being I well acquainted, preferred to arrange j their toilets merrily in trios, and quar i tcts, rather than be located alone. J I had noticed when I entered the room : n very old-fashioned cabinet, occupying an obscure corner, and looking decided ' ly lonely, and out of place among its very modern neighbors. Being extravagantly fond of antiquities, I prepared for a 1 leisure examination of it during the long I intermission between my first and second j tableau. The top was glass; and uuder | ncath were choice specimens of shells, i which attracted mv eye and attention so much that I sat down and proceeded to look them over, leaning unconsciously | against the side of the cabinet. In doing so, I must have touched a secret spring, for the whole panelled side fell out, as the lid of a desk when you drop it to write upon, aud letters, books and papers were scattered around. Ire placed all the articles, without glancing at their wrappings, until I picked up a little box neatly lied, whose handwrit ing was : o singularly familiar, that I al lowed myself to read the signature: "Miss Huth Sidney." Certainly that was my name, and this package belonged to me indisputably. I determined to open what 1 felt must be mine. So, closing the parcel as best I could, I undid, with tmubing fingers, the mysterious bundle. Inclosed was a dainty white box, with a few withered flowers, and a letter for me, the perusal ' of which produced such mingled emo tions that I cannot now tell whether joj> or sorrow, love or anger, were the mo-i prominent. It was irom I'hilip, reveal , ing liis passionate love for me, and re questing me to put the accompanying . rosebuds in Bessie's hand when she was ' laid in her coffin. "I shall learn ray fate from these flowers," he wrote. "If they are in dear Bessie a hand, I shall be with you this evening, if not, the alternative remains with Providence. I cannot semi a gift of form il flowers to precious Bessie, and 1 want her linked with my love in some way." How well I remember Miss Esther's offlcicus call the inoruing of the funeral; 1 bvit how she secured possession of these | i° v e-freighted articles 1 could not tell. ! Just then the summons came for me to 1 prepare for my second and third tableaux and with a huppy, angry, vindictive spirit, I quickly equipped myself for the farcical perf nuance. When it was o\er 1 retreated hastily Irom the eongrutula tions and flatt- ries of the insipid fops who lay in wait, with rude compliments for tne successful participants, and fled to the room lor my quiet black dress, pie /erring not to be *ecn in uiv fancy dress again. Then, with a swimming head and a raging heart, I walked straight towards the unapproachable Miss Esther, aud, is an authoritative voice which she seemed to understand, for she rose immediately, 1 said : 4 'Miss Harrington, 1 would like to see yourself and nieces alone in your private room; if you refuse, 1 will pro claim my business before all these, your friends; so you lmd better accede to my request." Theu turuing towards ray brother-in- ' law, George, who was waiting for me, I i bade hint follow us to the room. When all were seated. 1 produced the j flowers and letter explaining its sudden appearauce to me. Without a word of reproach to her, poor, humbled woman, I told Mary, the youngest daughter, to bring her aunt's writing material, and there I, simple Ruth Sidney, dictated to her, proud Esther Oarrington, a letter to Philip, recording her mean and wicked deception. I made her diiect aud seal j it, while George, with significant look, 1 suggested that he should post it. After tills, I slowly put on my bonnet and shawl, never designing another word to the dishonorable enactor of the un comfortable scene; while she, with pale face (and cringing manner, begged me not to meutiou it. She had meant to give it to me some day, if I didn't marry, she said, 1 couldn't forgive her then, a* I have now; so, turningunchristianly from her, George and I left for our home. Week after week passed, bringing no word from Philip, until it was just six weeks since Miss Esther's letter started | for Rome. Although there was the pos -1 sibility of delayed mails, still I began to I tear that Philip had found son:e other | fairer woman to be his bride. I watched 1 for the postman so anxiously that morn ing that little Ruth, who scrutinized my face for indications of "clear weather," as closely as George watched his baro meter, confidentially whispered to How ard, 4 T s'pose Aunt Ruth is thinking of mamma, she looks so dis'p'intcd. and won't cat no breakfast; let's be very dood to-day Ilowie." 1 was too disappointed and heartsick to attend to household duties; so, slipping away from them all, I stole in to my dearly beloved piano. With a gush of l'celing I could not express, 1 fairly poured forth my soul in one of Mendels sohn's little songs. I hud heard the front-doorbell ling, when I first opened the piano, but wfls too listless to inquire who the new-comer hau been, thinking it was too early for calls. When the song was finished 1 bowed my head on the rack before me, to listen to the tlood of memories which the pathetic music suggested. I did not hear the parlor door open. When f looked up, Philip stood before me. With one eloquent glance, he said, (( ls this, indeed, my Ruth?" As for me, I ignominiously fainted iu his arms, the shock was so great aud so sudden. I That is all of ray love story. But it was long before I could believe that I , must prepare to be Ruth Oarrington. Great Seeds and Early Fruit. Correspondents of Garden aud Forest remark upon the evidence afforded by recent experiments that seeds from immature fruit will give a product re quiring less than the usual time to ripen, and that the earliness thus gained can be increased by continuing the selection. This has been observed, ac cording to Dr. E. Lewis Sturtevant, at the New York Experiment Station,in the case of varieties of corn, turnip, and cab bage. At Purdue University, India, a sain of from fifteen to twenty days has been obtained by early selection. Pro fessor Arthur, of Purdue University, has ! observed further that the plant as well as the fruit thus cultivated tends to early ripeuess, and hence the period of fruit fulness,or the time between the first and ! the last ripe fruit, is much shortened. With the increase in the amount of fruit, according to Professor Arthur, there is also a corresponding decrease in the size of the vegetative parts of the plant— that is, the stems and foliage. A tomato plant grown from green seed in the fourth generation was found to bear three and a fourth times as much fruit as top stems and leaves together, while a similar plant from ripe seed had only one and an eighth times as much fruit as tops. It follows that, while earliest may be considered as a usual condition in all crops from unripe seed, an increase in : the amount of the crop occurs only when the true fruit is the part harvested, as in tomatoes and peas, and a decrease in the amount of the crop occurs when any part besides the fruit is harvested, as in turnips and potatoes.—[Popular Science Monthly. The Care of Razors. "Yes," said a Pearl street barber as he was shaving me the other day, "we often have amateur shavers bring up their razors to be fixed up. Almost any man with a steady hand can shave himself, but not one in fifty can keep his razor in decent condition. The first reason is that ama teurs wear all the temper out of their I razors by excessive strapping, and the better the steel the easier it is affected lin this way. The only remedy is to let 'it alone. Put away the razor that scrapes and cuts the skin and give it a good rest. Then use it again, and in all proba bility it will be in good shape. Home of the modern shaving sets have as many razois as there are days in the week, and on the handle of each is engraved the name of the day. If a rotation is kept up very little sharpening is needed. I have heard men talk of pet razors which they haveu-ed so many years; if they would let those lie by for a while they would find a welcome improvement. The second cause of the trouble is bearing on the razor wuile sharpenimg it. Vou never want to attempt to put on an edge before shaving. When you are through rub the blade a few times lightly on a pluin leather strap, which need not cost above a quarter, aud then put away. The old boiling water craze is exploded now, and professionals do just as good work with cold water as hot."—[Albany (N. Y.) Argus. Horse Sausages. The best Bologna saugnges are made of chopped bacon and pea flour, aud are flavored chiefly with garlic and clovie. When the bacon is old, out sound, snys the Sanitarian, such sausages are whole some and highly nutritious, and are es pecially uncful to laborers, travelers, and soldiers in c-onp, and others who have not the means of cook.ng at hand. They rarely spoil, but, being eaten un ci oked, they may som times iutro iuci* trichina 1 . The use n! horseflesh is u re cent innovation in sausage manufacture, and is practised in Italy and Belgium, a well as in this country. These horse sausages are said to be of the Bologna variety, aud the makers justify th m from the wholesomeness of horse-th>h when healthy. But the mat nctualh used is th t of animals worn out by work or made useless by disease—"tit fot nothing else." THE JOKERS BUDGET.! I JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY ; MEN OF THE PRESS. Nothing Against Hiui Averting H Public Disaster—That WAS the Essential Point, etc.. etc. NOTHING AGAINST HIM. "Lend von a dollar? Why, sir, T never saw you before in my lile. 1 don't know you." "It's that fact which i my only hope you'll lend me tin* dollar." (Philadel phia Tiroes. AVERTING A I'LBLIC DISASTER. "My good girl," said an experienced i amusement purveyor, "lake my advice ' and don't go on the stage." "I suppose," s-he said, sharply, "you i are going to undertake to save me from I a terrible fate, or something of that sort." "No," he replied, solemuly, "I was thinking of the public."—[Washington Post. THAT WAS THE ESSENTIAL L'OINT. C T can't find where that plumber did anything to this heater." "Neither could I. 1 told the man, but he said we'd certainly find it in the bill." WILLING TO TRY. "Kmtneliue, can you keep a secret?" he whispered hoarsely. "1 don't know. I never tried to. What is it?"—[Philadelphia Times. IT LOOKS THAT WAY. Aunt 1-klith -Where is your father, Peggy. Peggy—l guess he's gone in the par lor to see sis and her beau. "Why do you think so?" "He took a lamp with him.'\ AN INSULT. Fred—l didn't mind Taylor's dis charging me so much as I did the insult he subsequently offered me. Frank—What was that? Fred- He advertised for a boy to fill my place.—[Yankee Blade. SLANGY CAPTAIN KING. Kitty Nostrand—Won't you show me Air. Van Nobs; he's in the race, isn't he? Captain King- I think not. Kitty Nostrand—But his name is on the programme. Captain King— Well, there he is; that last man. You don't call him "in it," do you?—[The Week's Sport. A FERDINAND AND MIItANDA QUARREL. "Have you seen our friend Bookworm since his marriage to Miss Strongmind 4 Sniffy?" asked Truffle. "Yes, frequently." "Their home must have a delightful literary air about it." "It certainly does. Do you know it constantly reminds me of Shakespeare's work 9." "In what, pray?" "There is always a 'Tempest'in it."— [Chicago Times. .lUBT LIKE HIM. He certainly wasn't handsome, but he had a loving heart. He bought his adored one a present of a pug that broke down all the usual standards of ugliness and set up one of its own. The gift went right to the affections of the gushing maiden. "Oh, thank you, James, thank you, " she warbled. "It's just like you, so it is."—[Courier-Journal. ON US UAL ADV ANT AG Kfi. "One hundred dollars a month," said the young doctor, looking for a place to hang out his shingle, "is an enormous rent for a little office like this."' "But look at the location," replied the j owner of the building. "It's nearer | than any other house by ten feet to the football grounds across the way."— [Chicago Times. A PROBLEM. Mathematicians ffgure that a man CO years old has spent three years buttoning his collar. How much time has been consumed by a woman of 45 iu putting her hat on straight?—[Life. TIIE WAY IT HAPPENED. Kdgerly—Hello, old man! I hear that you arc married. Wasn't it rather sudden? Wooden—Well, yes, a bit sudden, perhaps. Edgerly—How did it,happen? Wooden—Well, you see, it was in this way. I was calling on Miss Simoon, from Chicago, and she said: "Do you think, Mr. Wooden, that marriage is al ways a failure?" "Why,no," said I; "not always. I can imagine a case where it would undoubtedly be a perfect success." At this she leaped up, threw her arms around my neck and said: "This is very sudden, but you have made me the hap piest of women. Let next Tuesday be the day." TESTED AT ONCE. "No, I never carry my watch when 1 go out," she said, artlessly. "J am so | careless that it wouldn't be safe. Why, a person could steal anything right from under my nose and I wouldn't miss it." Then the young man stole a kiss right from under her nose and she didn't seem to miss it.—[Chicago Tribune. A WIDE CELEBRITY THEN. "You see that big, broad-shouldered fellow up the corridor there? That's young Fobkins, one of his college eleven; quite a celebrity -a half back." "Whe-ew! what a celebrity he'll be when he gets his whole back."—[Har per's Weekly. TIIK LAME MAN'B JOKE. '•lt's funny," said Jones, as he limped out of the park, "that, although there was 110 skating until mid-winter, I did all of mine before the fall."—[Detroit tree Press. SOMETHING WRONG. " Arc you sick, Mr. Chaff?" asked the managing editor, eyeing the young man who labors over the jokes with an air of great solicitude. • 4 Why, no. sir, not at all," responded Mr. Chat! with surprise. 44 Are you sure of it? Aren't you mis taken? I'm sure you can not be in a normal condition." 44 1 certainly am—never felt better in ray life. What makes you think I was ill?" 44 Nothing," continued the chief, 14 except that with all this disturb am e in Ireland 1 had not observed in your column that ancient and revered joke about the Pat riot, that's all," — Chicago Times. DIFFERENT DEOIIEEH OF TEMPERATURE. Bagley—Nice, pleasant day, bailey. Bailey—Yes, hero, but I tell you it's •cold down ut my houso. UNDOUBTED I'M UOF. First Britisher—There goes the Duke of Muddy Water. He's an absolutely worthless fellow. Second Ditto—Worthless? Oh, 1 don't know. First Britisher—Yes, he is. He has been refused by three American heir- Second Ditto You . don't say so. Well, he must he worthless. [Life. THK OTHER SIDE. Fair .Subscription Fiend Can't 1 nut you down for SSO for the Home for Frien44<"<s Cockroaches? "The Lord loves a cheerful giver," you know. Old Ootrox - Yev; I have heard that often euough to know. But I wish you would tell me what He thinks of you cheer.ul beggars. GETTING EVEN. One of the Senators from Montana is proud of his Stutc, and resents any im putation upon its fame or its greatness. The other evening a lady meeting him for the first time asked where he was from. "Helena," responded the Senator proudly. "Helcua? Helena?" queried the lady; "prav, where is Helena?" The Senator, boiling over with right eous indignation, answered the question, and with a gallant smile, said: "And urn* I inquire where you are from?" "Certainly," she said pompously, "I aiu from Brooklyn. ' "Oh, yes, Brooklyn," echoed the Sou ator, beautifully. '"Brooklyn is a tine town. Quite near Hoboken in New .Jer sey, isn't it?"—[Washington Star. HANGING MIGHT IMPROVE HIM. "The Indian," observed Rivers, "is a picture of discontent." "Yes," said Brooks, "and he is iu a bad frame of mind." —[Chicago Tribune. A WOMAN'S REVENGE. Bessie—He said he loved me. Jessie—He told me the same. Bessie—l thought so. When 1 refused him he said he would do something des perate.—[Munsey's Weekly. WELL MEANT. Mrs. O'Rourke (to charitable old Mr. Hart well, who is giving away poultry to the needy)— Long life to yer honor; sure I'll never sec a goose agin but I'll think j of ye.—[ Life. FEATS OF STRENGTH, .luwkius—Have you seen this man who allows rocks to bo broken on liis head? llogg No; but I saw a woman yester day who stopped a street ear with one finger. A BOOM IN TRADE. Mi Zer—How much are you going to charge me for this apple? Dealer—l won't charge you anything for tliut. Mi Zer—Thanks! And since you are so reasonable I'll take two more at the same price. HER TASTE HAD CHANGED. Jake Jimnson—What species of bird do you like best? Cora Bellows—When I was a child I liked the canary best, but (blushing) since I grew up I—l rather prefer the poppin-jay. FIVE YEARS' PROGRESS. Tomdik (indicating a passer-by)— Five years ago that man had but $lO to liis numc. McClammy—How much has he now? Tomdik--Nothing. Everything he has is in liis wife's name.—[lnter-Ocean. THOSE WOULD-BE MILLIONS. 1 tell May that the freckles. Which she thinks such disgrace, Arc only where the sun and wind Have stopped to kiss her face. But, oh, how very lucky I'm not like sun and wind! For how she'd look,if I had left Kach time a mark behind. —[Boston Courier. ABOUT THE SAME THING. He—Now, my darling, you know how strong is my love for you. Do not say you will be a sister to me. She—No, George, I will not say so. You He —Then you will— She -You may be a brother to me, George.—[Boston Herald. HEROIC TREATMENT. Sympathetic Visitor—Mrs. A., what do you suppose makes you suffer so? Mrs. A.—l don't know, I'm sure, and I believe nothing but a post mortem will ever show. S. V.—You poor thing! You are so weak you could never stand that!— [Newport News. Two Profitable Professions. In discussions and articles on "The Choice of a Profession," two of the most lucrative professions of all have been for gotten. These are the professions of a jockey and "strong man." At a festive meeting, viz., the annual dinner of the Jimcrack Club, during the past week, a former steward of the Jockey Club said: 4 'Cases now exist where a jockey receives a salary equal to that of a Secretary of State, and jockeys even of the second rank receive, I think, payments which place them in a position, from a financial point of view, considerably ahead, I may say, of the bulk of their employers " Besides these salaries, (or retainers, as they are called,) the jockeys receive the authorized and regular riding fees, and it is no exaggeration to say that at the I present moment at least half a dozen of theiu are earning, in connection with their riding, in the shape of retainers, riding fees, and presents, $25,000 a year apiece, and in one or two coses even more. With reference to the earnings of "strong men," Sandow is reported to have said, in connection with the con test in which he took part on Wednes day, that by his defeat he lost more than $20,000, the savings of only two years. If these two statements are facts, and there i 9 no reason to doubt that they nro, we need not wonder at the large number of would-be "strong men" aud jockeys. —[Pall Mall Gazette. Hence Guatown. It was shortly after the Revolutionary War that an heir to a barouetcy in Kuglund, and possessing the warlike name of Gunn, proved himself a Tory of the most notorious stripe. Rather than live in commune with the creatures of a republic he joined.the Chickasaw Indians and b- came a chief. He married a fair daughter of the tribe, and by the mar riage a lovely child was born, and Okn lulluli became the pride of the Chicka saw nation and wan noted for her beauty, comeliness and mode ty. Hence the name of Guutown.—[Memphis Appeal- Avalanehe. SOMEWHAT STRANGE. A< CII>KM'B ANII L.SCI OI:\TS OK KVKRY.DAY LILPH Queer Episodes and Thrilling Adven tures Which Show that Txuth is Stranger than Fiction. A FitKM'H workinguian named Melut, of Clermont-Ferrand, was on his way home recently, when he found a book in the road. It proved to be a bnuk pass book containing three 100-frane notes, in all), lie put it in his pocket and went on home, intruding to wash him self iu order to make a respectable ap pearance at the prefecture. Melut, how ever. owned a small tame deer, which was iu the habit of poking its nose into his pockets to 11 nd crumbs, apples and other edibles. Taking oft 4 his coat, and without thinking of the deer's proclivi ties, the man began to wash. Suddenly he turned and discovered the animal in the act of eating the hook, lie snatched it away, hut found to his dismay that two of the hank notes had been swal lowed. Lie went with the remaining one to the prefecture. Here lie met tho peasant who had dropped the book re- j counting his loss. Melut told his story and produced the bank note, but tho coinmissaire refused to believe the state ment, declaring thtt 110 deer would cat paper. Melut subsequently fetched the animal, and, on putting some pieces of paper into his pocket, the deer extracted and swallowed them. The peasant then demanded that the animal should be killed, so that the notes might be taken from its stomach. Its owner, who was very fond of it, declared that he would not allow it to be touched. Thereupon the peasant demanded his 200 francs. Me lut, however, did not. possess anything like that sum, so lie was obliged to sub mit to the order of the connnissaire and allowed the pet to be slaughtered. Iu its stomach the notes were sound, but so defaced and torn that the bank refused payment. The peasant has now sum moned Melut to make good the missing 200 francs, and Melut has entered a counter-claim against the peasant lor the slaughter of his pet. BUEXA GCASA, who arrived in New York recently from Nicaragua, told a story of a battle that occurred bctweeu a mother aud an eagle over the possession of a four-year-old boy at Jalisco, Mexico, which resulted in the death of the mother. The father of the boy, JuanGuteriz, left home to attend to business, after telling his wife to take good care of their little boy, Pedro. The mother was attending to her house hold duties, with the little boy Pedro at her feet. The little fellow stole out while his mother's back was turned. When she discovered his absence a few minutes later she hurried out and found her child in the talons of an eagle, which was carrying it away. The bird of prey was about two feet from the ground, and the little fellow was struggling in the eagle's claws and crying with pain. Mrs. Gutcriz threw herself on the back of the eagle. The bird left the child, and, spreading its wings, slapped the mother on the head, felling her to the ground unconscious. The eagle again left the mother and was ju9t taking the child off when the cattle man came in sight. He took in the situation at n glance, and, raising his gun, fired at the eagle, lodging a bullet in its left wing. The bird of prey dropped to the ground aud released the child. Farmer Guteriz called for help and soon a number of his neighbors came about and carried the mother and child into the house, where the former died within au hour from a fracture of the skull. The child's wounds were not dangerous. The eagle was killed, lie measured six feet from tip to tip of wing. NEW YOIIK has a club that exists for the purpose of combating the "thirteen" superstition. It started with thirteen members, who flew in the face of provi dence by sitting down together to dine. The club now has 1,300 members, and the peculiar part of it is their death rate is no larger, and possibly smaller, than is that of other clubs. At their dinners they have thirteen courses, with thirteen different wines. There are always thir teen seated at each table, and the dinner commences always at 8:13 p. m. The committee of arrangements, entertain ment committee and reception commit tee each numbers thirteen. The dues arc thirteen cents a month. The wine list for the last dinner, is printed on black cardboard, in the shape of a coffin lid, in which are thirteen gold nails. One side tells you in the most reckless man ner that death is saluted Though it is tamed down a little by being in l.atin— and the other side lias the name of the wines, headed with a gold crowned skull, overshudowed by an incredulous, astonished owl. They defy death, and then stand up and ridicule the supersti tion in their responses to sarcastic toasts. Tlicy have several dinners through the year, and the last was the uincty-third. ONE of the most exciting weddings on record occurred here yesterday, writes a Newp rt (ivy.) correspondent of the New York Press. W. P. Weldin and Miss Lulu Bever drove forty miles from Williamstown at breakneck speed to get here ahead of the girl's angry father, who opposed ihe marriage. They went immediately to the court house, where they were refused a license. A hack was secured and the anxious couple drove to Dayton, Ky., to the residence of County Clerk Jones. After some persuasion the old gentleman agreed to issue n license. Squire llallcn was found, and the quartet —squire, hackmaii and lovers—started for ibis city. While en route the bride espied her father down the road driving like mad. The squire could not marry the couple until he got inside Ihe cor poration lines. The hackman had Iris Dorses going in a wild gallop. At last they approached the line. The couple sto >d up and clasped hands. Squire Mullen braced himself against the seat, aud, clasping the fonil bands, watched for the line. By this time the father was within ten feet, yelling as the hack dashed a ross the line, and while it was rocking like a boat in a storm Hallen married the pair. The father concluded to forgive the couple and the party re turned home this morning. A TRIAL has been concluded at Trieste ovi r which the entire population has been in a state of excitement. The pris oner, Countess Carlotta Budini, was ac cused of having ill treated and mur dered her step daughter, aged fourteen, who died on the 30th of June. The ( ountess hated the girl in mi unaccount able manner and subjected her to horri ble treatment. The post-mortem exam ination of her victim, who died of a blow from a hard instrument, showed that she would have died of privation even without the blow. The Countess denied everythiug, and charged her fifteeu-yeur-oht stepson with perjury. The jury was unuuimous in finding her guilty, and she was sentenced to sixteen years' imprisonment, with n fast day every month on the date of the child's death. HERE is a true talo of business life iu New York. Once upon a time a young man got employment oa a clerk In ln establishment of a prosperous merchant, who paid hlni fairly for faithful services and treated him well according to hiH worth, so that hi* mind was contented as time sped aloug. In the course of years, and in the vicissitudes of fortune, the merchant failed, went out of busi 1 neas, and fell into poverty. Iu the mean | while the clerk, who was of a frugal ; turn of mind, had saved enough of his income to begin business, whereupon he set up his establishment, took as a clerk the man who had ouce been his employer, paid him fairly for faithful service, ami treated him well, so that both are tow contented as time speeds 3long. A STRANGE whim oil the part f a widow, of Kout, England, has caused considerable comment. Hhe frequently changes her residence, and on each re moval changes the burial place oi\hti late husband. Two years ago lie died in Portsmouth, and was there buried. Hbe moved to Highgate, and hail her husband exhumed and brought to the Highgate Cemetery. Iu a year she moved to Can terbury, and again dug up her former partner, and carried him with her. Each time she put the old coffin or coffins inside a new one. Now she has moved to Liveipool and the remains of the late Mr. Jones will soon follow her. A QUEER accident befell a Portland i Ale.J woman. An electric light wire had sagged to the tinned roof of her house and the current was conducted by the water conductor on the outside of the house to a trap in the cellar; thence by the waste pipe to the sink on the second floor; thence by the water pipe to the street, so that when the lady put her hand 011 the faucet of the water pipe she couldn't let go. But luckily the wind was blowing, and, as the wires swayed, the water pipe and its adjuncts were electrified witli but au intermittent current, so the lady was liberated after a few minutes' imprisonment and consid erable suffering. A SICK pauper was 3ent to the HOME of a woman near East Portland, Me., and the town agreed to pay her a stipulated sum for attending and boarding; him. lie died a few wcoka after entering the home, and .in justice the bill for his maintainencc should have c.eascd. But the woman conceived a plan to turn his death to her pecuniary advantage. For several months she preserved the body from decay by packing it in snow and ice, said nothing of her silent lodger, and regularly collected her bill. She thus made money by boarding a corpse. A eoiuocs story comes from Patcrson, N. J., of a ram that has just died, that did duty in a slaughter house there for many years. The ram was trained so that it would lead a flock of sheep from the cars to the slaughter house, selecting the proper streets itself, and never lead ing the tiock astray. It was much easier lo move a flock of sheep in this way than by driving them with dogs, as they always followed the ram witli per fect willingness. It would be interesting to know if the ram ever realized the fate it was leading its fellows to. AT San Martin, near Atacapotzal, Mex ico, there resides a pure Indian woman who is believed to be 115 years of age. I ler descendants are numerous, and count among their number sons and daughters, | grandchildren, great-grandchildren and j great-great-grandchildren. She owns I documents proving that she carried on | lawsuits with Viceroy Venegas, while Spain still held dominion in Mexieo. I ler husband died about eight years ago :in his 98th year. The name by which ; she is known is Torres, but her true ! name is Ixcahuaxochitl. Mils. REV. JOHN F. DAMON, of Seattle, was stopped by a highwayiuaa one re cent dark evening us she was going home from a visit to a sick person. The roli j her held a pistol to her head and de -1 iiiaiuled her money, but she held on to I her pocketbook and produced a series of ! yells of such intense power that her as sailant became fr'ghteued and ran away. [This incident teaches the New lork World that if a woman wishes to acquire an effective voice for special emergencies she must practise in a pulpit. IN speaking of the minute parasites which are found iu the hairy part of a tiger's foot, a scientist says: "They eon- I stitnte one of the most wonderful curiosi | tes I know of in the animal world. The ! parasites are so smull as to be almost in visible to the naked eye, and yet each is a perfect counterpart of the tiger; head, ears, jaws, legs, claws, body, tail, all are there. You may think this is a big story, but look the subject up aud see if it is not so. A TAME crow belonging to Mrs. Henri etta MePherson of Herkimer, N. Y., will whip any dog iu the neighborhood, and amuse itself jumping upon a chair with a spool of thread, picking Ihe end loose and unwinding the spool in the face of the eat. As the cat jumps for the runa way spool, the crow will laugh like u child. Some of England's Sinecures. The men who are known as "master of the hounds" and "grand falconer" get large salaries. The positions arc all re garded as very dignilied places. For in stance, the Earl of Coventry is the "mas ter of the hounds" at a salary of $7,500 a year. Of course he lias nothing to do with the hounds or with their care, ex cept to say a word now and then to the "huntsmen" or buy agood dog if he sees one. The Duke of tJt. Albans is the "grand falconer" at a salary of nearly $5,000 a year. To that titij is added that of herder, uud in the fiction of that curious custom and condition he is sup posed to have some control over the breeding and management of the deer that are bred for the hunt. But ho has about as much to do with them as a stranger who never saw Ascot, the Queen's kennels, or witnessed a run over the fields after the deer. These positions were created and are maintained for the purpose of increasing Hie income of such people as may enjoy the Queen's favor, and they are pile I unon one another un til a Duke or Earl who has commended himself to the Queen occupies a dozen different positions, so far as drawing the alary is concerned, without rendering sny service therefor. —[Pittsburg Dis oatch The Largest Moth. The largest moth in the States is the Atticus Cccropia, which measures from 54 to 7 inches from tip to tip. This moth belongs to the sumo famiiy as the Luna, but is altogether different in cut and color. The wings are a uniform grayish speckled brown, bordered with deep liver colored and white lines. The eye spots in the wings are pear shaped and bordered with a d op reddish aud dark brown margin. The body is col ored brick red on the thorax and alter nate red and white stripos adorn the ab domen. As in the case of the Luna, the mule resembles the female, oxcept in point of size and antenna;. —[INew York Sun.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers