THE DINKLEMAN9. Tfciw Oltl Alan Tells Jakey tliut Brevity la Soul of Wit, and Jakey Remind* Hint of the Same Thing in a Funny Wuy. "Shakey, vot time you come home last night?" asked old Dinklemau as his son came into the dining-room rubbing his eyes and looking verv sleepy. "Oh, about 12 o'clock/ "Vere you vas yet?" "By de Oriental Deayder." "Ah! and vot you see?" "Home blays about Monte Christ mas. " " Ah! T see dot blay myself ven I a little poy." "Dis von a new play is, about a man vot vas out rowing uud got capsized and swims by Blackwell's Islaud and haves nothings to eat but desert. He almosts starves by dat diet, ven von day a man is sailing over the Island in a balloon und sees de man, and he throws down some sandwiches vot he has in the balloon and the man is saved. But ven—" " Shakey, dot takes you too long to say vot you saw. De Sherman poet, Shookspoke, says dat 'brevity is de soul of wit.' Remember dot, my Ron," and then lie went on with a half hour lecture on the subject. The next day the two Dinklemans wore busilv engaged in arranging anew stock of secondhand overcoats, when the old fellow looked up and his face grew pale. Just outside the door he saw a man crossing the street who he knew was coming to collect a bill. "Mine Gott, he whispered, trem bling. "Shakey, here comes Silverstone to collect dat S3OO bill vot I promised to pay to-day. I can't spare dat money so soon. I have a scheme. Hide your self und I give him a ghost story." Jakey slid under the table not a sec ond too soon, for just then the collector entered. "Good morning, Mr. Dinklemau," he said. 44 1 came to collect my little bill I of $300." "Ah, my good friend, I expected you," i said old Dinklemau, rubbiug his hands ' together gleefully at the thought of how | lie would fool Silverstone. "I have just sent my son Shakey up town to j collect some money und ven he comes back I pay you. Vill you sit down und vait for him ?" "How soon do you expect him?" "Oh, in about an hour." "Well, I guess I'll let you send it over. There is no need of my wait ing." "Very goot, very goot. Goot day. "Good day." But this is just where Dinkleman made a mistake. Instead of letting Mr. Silverstone go then, he hailed liim as he had his hand on the door-knob with: "Say, Mr. Silverstone, vos you by the glaziers' ball last night?" Silverstone said that he was and came back and sat down in the only chair in the store and commenced to tell all about it. When he had exhausted one subject Dinklemau would start him on another and, in fact, did as much talk- j ing as Silverstone. So, in this way, j they got over the divided skirt question, j the Cohens' failure and numerous other thiugs in about half an hour. c In the meantime, Jakey was cramped up under the table wishing Silverstone would go and cursing bis father under bis breath because ho persisted in keep iDg up the conversation. "Vat vas dot fader said yesterday about brevity? Oh, yes; brevity is the soul of wit. 'My son,' he said, 'say everything in so few words as possibly, ' Und ven I speak too long remind me oi it.' Veil, I say mo nothings now, but ven Silverstone goes I tells him some things. Oh, gosh, my feet's asleep. H dey don't come off soon I—" Dinkleman had started to tell about the time he was in Europe. He was never known to got over the story in less than an hour and a half. Jakey felt sure that he would die before he got through. Cautiously he put out his hand and gave his father's pauts leg a pull, but lie paid no attention, Again he pulled; the same result. Silverstone jumped back with fright 1 and Dinkleman trembled with rage as from under the table came the words i "Fader, break it off. Brevities is de soul of wits." But Dinkleman was equal to the oc casion. "Vat make you so stay long away, Shakey?" he asked, "and how you get there, eh? Ah, you joker. Come dis way, Mr. Silverstone, und 1 pay you dot bill. Dree hundred dollar, dat's right. Good day, sir, good day." And as the door closed lie looked around to give vent to his wrath on Jakey, but lie was gone.— New York Mercury. Tlie llurlior of I mil a. In India everything runs by caste, and the barbers rank with the washer men and blacksmiths. A barber's son is always a barber, and a barber's daughter is sure to marry a barber. The Indian barber, like the Chinaman, travels from bouse to bouse to do his shaving. He carries all bis tools under his arm, wrapped up in a cloth, and when he sliaves his customer he makes him squat down on his lieels, and bond over his head. He then squats down on his own heels in front of him, and the two without chair or stool, do the business in tlie most primitive manner. He usually shaves with cold water, and he is a manicure as well as a barber. No Hindoo sliaves himself, and few Hin doos pare tlieir own nails. The barber is expected to take the gray hairs out of your head, eyebrows and mustache, and like his Chinese brother, lie pays atten tion to cleaning the oars and to shaving the face, even to tho oornersof the eyes. A high priced barber, in India gets from one dollar and a quarter to two dollars pej; month per family. An or dinary shave costs from one to two gents, and a first-class hair cut is given for from ono cent to a nickel. It is quite customary in tlie East for tlie families to shave their heads when tliey go into mourning, and in Siam, when the kiug dies, all the people iu the oountri are supposed toent off their hair so close that tlie tops of their heads are as clean as a billiard hall. The head of tlie corpse is shaved in India and, while watching a body being cre mated at Benares, the writer saw about half a bushel of human hair lying on the stono steps not far from the fire. I asked where it came from, and the guide told me it had just been out from tlie heads of the friends nnd relativos oi the deceased. Tho Indian barber is s surgeon as well as a shaver. He borot tlie holes in the girl's ears, and piorcrt their noses for the nose ring. He often acts as a professional match maker He trims the nails of the bride foi weddings, rJd takes off the fine clothe! of the WKIJW and dresses her in lier fa neral garments. I had these Hindoo barbers meet me at every station in In dia, and they were always within call of the hotels. BE proud. It is said that a proud toan oannot bo mean. A Poetical Wife. BY WILL HUBBARD KERNAtf. I was writing busily one morning when a young friend of mine came in and dropped into a chair, with a long, deep sigh. "Tired, Ben ?" I inquired, absently— adding, "There's the morning paper. I'll be at leisure presently." "Oh, dash the morning paper! Dash the whole newspaper press!" 1 have eupheinized his expletive a little. "Why, what's the matter, Ben?" "Matter! What isn't the matter? My wife says she's the coming Coriuue of America." I began to feel interested. "You see, it is in this way. When your paper came out with her first ef fusion, she forthwith flow to the con clusion that she was inspired, and be gan pestering the editorial fraternity of the whole country with lier rhythm ical rococo." "Oh, that's all proper." "But she didn't stop there, duvn it. One evening I went home, kissed her, asked if dinner was waiting, and she began: "My lovfl, the banquet soon will bo Sfjread with the best of food for thoe; And our now waiter from the guilds Of far-off transatlantic lands Will help thee to a menu fin*, Including old Fulerniun wine." "Must have been exasperating," T said in a condoling tone. "Exasperating! Yes. You hit the ! needle pop in the optic. And she went j on in the same strain until bedtime, winding up as follows: "My dear, you know full well it shocks Mo through and through when in your docks I sou a hole ; 1 have the yarn This awful orifice to dam. "After breakfast, as I was leaving the liouso, I heard a voice in the up stairs hall saying: "Now, Jano, manipulate the broom With dext'rous huud in every room, Until— "l fled. When I went home at half past twelve that night, my wife met me with a frown and liiased fiercely: "Out of my sight, thou laggard! Out of my sight, I buy, Hoek thee another lodgment till the dawning of I the day; Here is my healthy brooms tick—there is the I open door; linn, oh, recreant husband! us thou never hast run before I "That made me mad." "Naturally." "Yes; so I began : "This is my castle, madam ; here will T stay, I Till rolleth the radiant sunbeams over the ' mountain brow; And, listen, my own companion; if I cannot stay with thee, I'll stop with Jenny, llie housemaid "She said: " 4 Well, we -will—see!'" "Did that remedy the defect?" "Yes, till morning, when she began again." "How?" "You see, my trousers were out of order, and I begged her to put a little j patch under my coat-tails. That fired her off and she whizzed: "Oh, for the rare and radiant Junes Ero ever I thought of thy pantaloons ; Ere ever I thought that thy love so sweet . Would deign to auk mo to patch tho Boat ! Of thy " Just then the door opened; a pink and white vision of bea.ity appeared upon the threshold and began : "Benjamin, mother is coming to-day, And " "If that is tho caso, there's the devil to pay," moaned Benjamin, and vanished from niv sight. Changing; (lie Motto. That men are often aroused to per- , form noble deeds in times of great public exigency by noble sentiments forcibly expressed- is ft fact of general acceptance. Patrick Henry's fervid j appeal,. "Give mo liberty or give me death," doubtless stirred many a patriot to brave the one while striving for tho other. But there are many worthy men of practical minds to whom sentiment is of little value in comparison with pres ent advantage, and with whom the discharge of duty is a matter-of-fact affair, to be purchased with as little self-sacrifice as possible. Michael Pinkind, a resident of the eastern shore of Maryland, by occupa tion both a farmer and a fisherman, was enrolled, during the war of IS 12, in the local militia, and when not needed for active service was, with his neighbors, permitted to remain at home, engaged in the pursuit of a live lihood. When the British fleet anchor ed off St. Michael's, ami threatened the bombardment of the town, tho militia were hastily called to assemble for its defense. The officer whose duty it was to notify the warriors came to Pinkind's house on a day when ho was absent, looking after the fisheries in the Chop tank Biver. As he could not be fol lowed to his place of labor at that time, the officer informed the fisherman's , patriotic wife that Michael was needed at the front, and she, with great indig nation at the invasion of tho eastern shore by the British, assured the oflicer ( that her husband would be found at the post of duty on the day following bis return home. She then went to work to overhaul Michael's raiment, and make him pro- j sent as martial an appearance as pos sible. When he returned home next day, Michael received from his faithful wife ( the call to arms, and by her was pre- i Rented with his uniform. His best suit ! had received a thorough renovation, and upon the back of the coat was stitched in prominent characters the motto, "Victory or Death!" Michael regarded the motto dubious- j ly for a moment, and then anxiously ! inquired, "Polly, can't ye make it Tic- j tory or Cripplef n —Youth's Compan ion. Tender. I was in a group of newspaper men just after I had read of a reception which had been "tendered" to a well known citizen. I wanted to express an opiuion upon the barbarous misuse of the word quoted, and asked, to intro duce the subject, "What does Tender' mean?" I received several answers, and here they are: "A tender is a small vessel which takes provisions to a larger vessel out side of a pier," came from the man who had crossed tho ocean. A tender to a sail boat is a dingey which follows on behind," is what the member of the boat club said. 44 A tender isn't a boarding-house steak, said the bachelor. "You've heard of the young lady whoso lover was taken to a war vessel on a tender, haven't you?" was another remark—"The case which made Tom Hood say, 'What a hardship that must be.'" I didn't wait to bear any more and postponed my remarks. Brooklyn Citizen. FAITH is the pencil of the soifi that pictures heavenly things. A HOT BEVERAGE. Men Who Drink to Stimulate Their Appetites. Did you ever here of a Worcestershire sauce cocktail? Probably not. Yet they are drank by certain persons whose stomachs require a strong decoction to tone them up. I ate breakfast in a cer tain popular restaurant yesterday, and could find no Worcestershire ou my table j with which to flavor my steak. When the hcadwaiter brought a bottle to me he smiled and remarked, 44 We can't afford to keep Worcestershire on the tables any longer, sir; too many people drink it up." "Drink it up! You don't mean to say that any one drinks Worcestershire as a beverage. I should think it would burn the roof out of his mouth." "It probably would out of an ordinary mail's, said the hcadwaiter; "but for an old rouuder Worcestershire sauce is the best 4 bracer' in the world. It straightens him up when whiskey and gin cocktails, and even absinthe, have lost their grip. Befort we hid our Worcestershire bottles away, I have seen them come in, sit down at the tables, give their order for ; breakfast, and then as soon as the waiter's j back was turned, empty their glass of water, seize the bottle, till the gob-1 let half full of tho sauce, and 'down' j it at a gulp. The effect is quick and ! wonderful. Men who come in nil played | out, shaky and dilapidated, will ' | straighten up and be as hungry as a ! | tramp by the time breakfast is brought. ; | Oh, there is nothing like a Worcester- j I shire cocktail. The old rounders would ! tell you so, if the} would tell the,truth. ' But they won't. They are ashamed of j it, and conceal their craving. I don't i i believe you could get one of the Worccs-1 i tershire 'fiends' to own up to it." I "Did you ever know anybody to ask ■ for a drink of Worcestershire?" "Never but once, lie is an old cus | toiner, and gives me good tips, so 1 will I not expose him by telling his name. He ! used to look around wistfully after the bottles disappeared from our tables, and 1 ; when lie couldn't find them he would or der absinthe. But that didn't hit the right i | spot, like Worcestershire. Presently 1 de-1 tectcd him drinking the tomato catsup. I j said nothing, but the catsup bottles were taken off. The next morning he came | | in to breakfast as usual, and I saw him : look for the tomato catsup. He couldn't j ' find it, of course. I said to myself, ; ' 'What will you do now, old man?' He j was evidently disturbed. But he ordered | I his breakfast and began inspecting the j cruets in the stand on the table. All at j 1 once a bright idea struck him. lie took . out the cayenne pepper cruet, liberally 1 sprinkled the water in his goblet, and j drank it down. I could stand it no longer. Walking up to him, I said: Mr. shire? lie flushed up, for lie saw that 1 i knew his secret—no secret, though, for 1 he is only oifc of a dozen such that fre quent this restaurant. 4 Yes,' lie replied, I 4 1 would. Nothing picks me up like ! Worcestershire. I tell you what I'll do. Sell mo a bottle and keep it for me, and j when I come into get my breakfast, pour me out a small glassful on the quiet. Say nothing to anybody, and I will see ; that you will lose nothing.' I did so; and now he gets his Worcestershire cock tail every morning, and eats his break j fast like a 'little man.'" i It is well known to the trade that one i of the ingredients of many of the sauces ' used on meats is assafcetida. This is the drug administered in hospitals and ine- I briute asylums to patients who are suffer i ing from the effects of hard drinking. Probably the presence of the assafcetida , explains why "rounders" find the drink ing of table sauces so invigorating to their worn-out stomachs. The question ! is, How long will the effects last! After i Worcestershire, what? —[New York Star. Uncle Sam's Postagfe Stamps. Some people imagine that Uncle Sum's { postage stamps are printed in Washing ton, but such is not the fact. They are all made by the American Bank Note Company in New York city, which has the contract from the government. The stumps are printed from engraved steel plates Dig enough to strike off 400 of them on a sheet with a single stroke of the press. After being struck off in this way, the sheet passes beneath a revolving brush carrying mucilage, by which the buck of the sheet is gummed. The sheet is then dried and flattened under an hy draulic press. Next it is run through a perforating machine, which is an arrange -1 mont of little wheels revolving parallel to j each other, and just far enough apart to make the perforations as one sees them in a sheet of finished stamps fresh bought at I the post-office. After the perforations have been made across the sheet one way by one machine, the sheet must pass through a second perforated machine for the cross perforations, the stamps being thus outlined so as to be readily torn apart. In the middle of each machine, however, is a knife which cuts the sheet in two so that the sheet of 400 comes out of machine No. 1 in two sheets of 200 each, and these are divided into four j sheets of 100 each by the knife in machine ' No. 2. All stamps come in sheets of 100 for sale. The stamps arc now done, and | only remain to he gone over, inspected, ! counted and tagged in packages of 100 | sheets before being sent out. As they are printed the sheets of stamps are carefully counted and if one is ever so slightly de ' fective, though but one stamps is injured j or imperfect, the sheet is destroyed and j carefully accounted for. It is an old story, by the way, that when ' the English government wished to dis cover away to tear stamps apart readily it offered $50,000 for an acceptable sug- I gestion. A povert-stricken but ingenious i Britisher proffered the notion of perforat ing the stamp sheets and received the for tune.—[Washington Star. The Shah's Romance. The Sultana of Persia, who has just been cured of blindness, was the favorite wife of the Shah. Under the Mohamme dan law not more than four such com panions arc allowed, and Nasr-e<lT)cen has only three. One of them is his aunt and another his cousin, the latter being the one who has been under treatment at Vienna. The third wife was formerly the Shah's favorite secgeh, or supernu merary wife—a species of relation of whom the Shah has about forty on liand at atimc. She was the daughter of a poor coun tryman living near Demarend. One day the Shall chanced to pass through the village, and she went to the roadside and offered him a basket of grapes and pome granates. He stooped, took the fruit, and then commanded her to remove her veil that he might see lier face—a privilege which lie alone can exercise over any wo man in Persia. She, of course, complied. Doubtless she had expected that to happen when she went out with the fruit. At that timo she was an uncommonly pretty girl, even for n Persian, and the tender and unsophisticated heart of the Shah was pro foundly impressed. He probably had not been in love more than two or three thousand times before, so lie was still quite a novice. The upshot of It was that | the next day found the miller's daughter | installed in the imperial harem as favorite : seegeh, with a promise that just as soon as there was a vacant akdeeship she would be promoted to fill it. Several • years passed before there was a vacancy, i but when one did occur the Shah fulfilled j his promise. The former peasant girl had continued ! to make good use of her opportunities by | getting a dozen or more of her relatives appointed to lucrative places at the im- | perial court. Two of her brothers are ] chamberlains and another is marshal of j her household. But a fourth brother re- I fused all such honors and emoluments, and still drives his humble trade as a muleteer.—[Chicago Herald. THE AIDE INTO KENTUCKY. From Squalor and Sterility Into the Magnificent Blue Grass Region. From Mr. John Burroughs' "A Taste of Kentucky Blue-grass," in the Century, ' we quote as follows: "All the way from Washington till 1 struck the heart of , Kentucky the fiirmer in me was unhappy, I he saw hardly a rood of laud that lie i would like to call his own. But that remnant of the wild man of the woods, which most of us carry, saw much that delighted him, especially down the New River, where the rocks and the waters, and the steep forest-clad mountains were as wild and as savage as anything he had i known in his early Darwinian ages. But when we emerged upon the banks of the , Great Kanawha, the man of the woods i lost his interest, and the man of the fields saw little that was comforting. "When we cross the line into Kentucky, I said, we shall see a change. But no, we did not. The farmer still groaned in • spirit; uo thrifty farms, no substantial homes, 110 neat villages, no good roads anywhere, but squalor and sterility 011 every hand. Nearly all the afternoon we rode through a country like the poorer parts of New England, unredeemed by anything like New England thrift. It was a country of coal, a very new coun try, geologically speaking, and the top-soil did not seem to have time to be come deepened and enriched by vegetable mold. Near sundown, as I glanced out j of the window, I thought I began to see a change. Presently 1 was very sure 1 did. It began to appear in the more grassy character of the woods. Then 1 caught sight of peculiarly soft and uni form grassy patches here and there in the open. Then in a few moments more the , train had shot us fairly into the edge of \ the blue giass region, and the farmer in i :me began to be on the alert. We had i passed in a twinkling from u portion of the earth's surface which is new, which j is of yesterday, to a portion which is the j oldest, from the carboniferous to the J lower silurian. Here, upou the lower I silurian, the earth that saw and nourished i the great monsters and dragons was grow- I ing the delicate blue-grass. It had taken ! all these millions upou millions of ; years to prepare the way for this little j plant to grow to perfection. I thought i 1 had never seen fields and low hills look 1 so soft in the twilight; tlicy seemed clad | in greenish-gray fur. As we neared j Mount Sterling, how fat and smooth the ! Innd looked; what long, oven, gently j flowing lines against the fading Western j sky, broken here and there by herds of | slowly grazing or else reposing and ru minating cattle! What peace and plenty it suggested! From' a land raw and crude and bitter like unripe fruit, we had sud denly been transported into the midst of one ripe and mellow with the fullness of time. It was sweet to look upon. I was seized with a strong desire to go forth and taste it by a stroll through it iu the twilight." Feathered Bell-Ringer. When traveling in the forests of Gui ana and Paraguay it is not uncommon to j meet with a bird whose music greatly re | scmbles that of an Angelus bell when heard from a distance. The Spanish call this singular bird the bell-ringer, though it may be still more appropriately designated as the Angelus bird, for, like the Angelus bell, it is heard three times a day—morn ing, noon, and night. Its song, which defies all description, succeeds one an anothcr every two or three minutes, so clear and in such a resonant manner, that the listener, if a stranger, imagines him self to be near a chapel or convent. But it turns out that the forest is the clmpel and the bell a bird. The beauty of the | Angelus bird is equal to his talent; he is j as large as a jay and as white as snow, | besides being graceful in form and swift in motion. But the most curious orna- j meut of the Angelus bird is the tuft of I black, arched feathers on its beautiful j head. This tuft is of comical shape aud about four inches in length. Salt Productions. Salt is at present produced by means of ; open vats or pans, varying in size accord- i ing to circumstances and the quality of j salt to be produced. Its manufacture ; necessarily requires a large area and an enormous consumption of fuel to main- j tain the salt at the boiling point, in order ! to secure the precipitation of the salt more j or less rapidly, according to the quality required. For example, a salt pan twelve yards long and two and a half yards wide 1 —thirty square yards—exclusive of the ! brickwork, is supposed to run out about forty tons of salt per week. I)r. Pick, who is one of the highest authorities on ' the subject of salt production, has, how ever, invented an economical process for ; evaporating liquors containing salts, and | separating the salts from them. By means of this apparatus, which covers | thirty-five square yards, it is stated that | 000 tons of salt can he produced per week.—[New York Telegram. He Was Shy of Women. A very eccentric old bachelor was Father Fletcher, one of the old Metho dist ministers, and his shyness of womankind amounted to antipathy. One day as he was riding along a country road one of his lady parishioners, who was walking the same way, politely asked for a ride. "Certainly, madam," politely replied the pastor, and he immediately alighted, as the lady supposed, to assist her to (n or the carriage. She stepped | quickly in, whereupon lie handed her the reins and said, "Drive on, madam, and when you arrive at your destination please hitch the horse, and I will soon be along."—[Lewiston (Mo.) Journal. He Drummed for Jackson. Jordan B. Noble, colored, died re cently iu Now Orleans, La., aged ninety two. He was a drummer boy in the army of Jackson at the battle of Chal mette in 1814, and was ouo of the survi vors of that memorable campaign. He was a drummer at the recruiting stations here during the Mexican war, and during the late war under the authority of B. F. Butler, raised one of the first com panies of colored troopß for the colored National Guard.—[New York Tlmjja. Sky Juliu W. Maekay. Jolm W. Maokay, tho bonanza king, | Is as any as asohool girl, makes no pre tense of wealth keeps his own counsel, iteers ole&r of reporters and was never | known to give an interview for publica tion. He never answers any of the thousand begging letters that come to him in the course of a month, pays no attention to what his neighbors are do -1 iug, but rather minds his own business —a unique proceeding in this day. How much money lie is worth is still a topic of speculation. His fortune is placed anywhere from $80,000,000 to $200,000,000. Perhaps the first sum i 9 nearer the truth. But nobody will ever know until he dies, lie has no confidants. He is really the last of the Big Four who ruled tho mines of the : West for so many years. | There is one topic on which Mr. i Maokay talks to his most intimate friends. This is his wife. He is as much in love with her to-day as ever. There is nothing that (felights him quite so much as to read of her social successes abroad. That she should have I conquered even among queens in the i Old World is no small feather in the j cap of one who was once a lowly wo man in a mining camp. Mr. Maokay is ; ' proud of her, but lie laughs at the newspaper reports of the ridiculously large sums that she is supposed to ; squander on her entertainments abroad. ! And well he may; for while Mrs. Mackay entertains lavishly, she is not extravagant. IHHao Aiurpfiy's Finest Finish. Two years ago Baldwin's horse Vo lant© was to run one day at Saratoga, and Baldwin called Murphy up into the grand stand and said : 1 "Now, look here, Murphy, I don't want any monkeying about this race none of your sensational finishes. You just cut the old horse loose and send liini along from the fall of the flag to the finish. I've got a lot of money on this race, and I don't want to be wor- ' ried about the result." Murphy showed his white teeth in u smiie of acquiescence, and then in alow J tone informed the ladies in Baldwin's party that ho would "make the old man j faint away." When the Hag fell Murphy pulled Volante back to fourth place and held liim steady around the first turn ; down | the backstretch tho leaders Hew, with j Murpliy trailing along quietly on Vo lante as though he was out for a pleas ure ride. Baldwin began to kick and bite off a big chunk of tobacco and be gan to ohew at a tremendous rate. As the horses rounded the lower turn and j entered the stretch Murphy began mov i ing up inch by inch, but it seemed an j i impossibility for him to reach the 1 leaders, but he did, and one by one i they surrendered, until when within a j | hundred feet of the wire Volante had j disposed of all but one. Then with a i magnificent exhibition of horseman ship Murphy fairly lifted his mount up :to even terms and in the last bound landed Volante a winner by a nose, or, as the sporting fraternity term it, "by an eyelash." Before the jockeys dis mounted, Baldwin turned to a member I of the party and said: "George, I wish you would got these Volante tickets j cashed and bring the money down to tho hotel for me. I'm going home right away, I don't feel well. Some fellow swallowed a chew of tobacco which { ' had in my mouth, when that black i devil made that close finish," Experts claim tlmt if stoul ships are kept ; proper y painted with good painc, and tho plutea properly "pickled." they would last as j long as iron, otherwise they would deteriorate more rapidly th in Iron ships. If afflicted with sore eves use Dr. Isaac Thomp son V Eve-water. Druggists sell at&ks.per botil# Repentance is the hist advantage which u man reaps for his fault. J. A. Johnson, Medina. N. Y., says: "Hall's Catarrh Cure cured me. by Druggists, 7fic. Hope awakens courage. Ho who ran im plant eourage in the hum n soul is the b st physician. FITS stopped tree by Utt. Ki.ink'S GRKAI Nkhvi: ItKSTOliKit. No Fits uftcr tirst. day t use. Marvelous cures. Treatise and 82 trial bottle free. Dr.Kline,SKH Arch St., Phila., la Each member of Congress about 5,000 envelopes full of seeds every year, and the hill Uncle Sam pays for them amounts to about $ 100,000 More diseases are produced by using brown and perfumed soaps than by anything else. Why run such terrible risks when you know I Dobbins's Electric .Soap is pure And perfect, i Dobbins's prevents hands from chapping. The mednl which has just been presented to ! Mr. Stanley by the Geographical Society is the first special medal for such services that. ! has over been struck by that society. Children Enjoy The pleasant flavor, gontle action and soothing ! affects of Syrup of Figs, when in need of u lax ative and If the futlier or mother be costive or blJloiiH tho most gratifying results follow its use.so that it is the best family remedy knowa and every family should have a bottle. * The shifting sands threaten to bury Grand Haven. Micli , making a sort of modern Pompeii of it. The city council is planting 2,000 trees on the hills, hoping in this way to keep tho sands stationary. Kooic city falls, i Sahatoga County, N. Y.j Dr. Tobias, New York: 1 have used your Venetian Liniments l'ore. number of years, and consider them, without exception, the best and most reliable before , the people. ; Asa family medicine applied externally or Internally it is invaluable, itn application j harmless and the effect produced truly won derful. | They are indispensable in the household or i Lhe stable. Very truly yours, UfIAIJNCEY K IT.MBIt, Of the firm of C. Kilmer & Co. | A weak galvanic current, which will t-ome ! times cure a toothache, may be generatod by placing a si vor oon on one side of the gum and a piece of zinc ou tho other. Rinsing th mouth with a idulated water will ncre ise the | effect. U 29. Health and Strength Soon replace weakness and languor If thai reliable medicine, Hood'tAirsupui-illu, Is fairly ami faithfully tried. It Is tho best mod cine to overcome thtt tired feeling, purify tho blood and cure scrofula, salt rheum, dyspepsia and all other disease; arising from Impure blood or low state of the system, j Give it a trial. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD & CO., Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar tfflnAlC ST|'IV. Book-keeping, Husiuesaforms, B&Uirlh Penmanship, Arithmetic, Hhort-hand,etc., ■ H thoroughly taught by MAIL. Circulars free. Krvnnt's Col err. tl7 Mam St.. Buffalo. N. Y THE DEPENDENT PENSION BILL Grants pensions to >oldinr*. Sailor* and their Widow* and Children. I're-rut Pension* Increased. Write tin inedl.itelv. stating your cose. J. C. I>K It 31 Oil Y. A try .it-Law, Chauncey Building. WASHINGTON, 11. C. Wjb i ®MURRA®" IMPROVED || ELEGANT ROAD CARL^T rack under seat for carrying parcels. THE FINEST ON EARTH. Write im mediately for our large illustrated free catalogue containing full de scription of this Oart and the world renowned MURRAY 555.5-5 BUGGIES and ss.ss \\miSS WILBER H. MURRAY MANUFACTURING CO., " MURRAY BUILDINC," 139 W. FRONT ST., CINCINNATI, O PI jirlrt ISEFFECTUA^^ I WORTH A GUINEA A For EILIOIIS a NERVOUS DISORDERS Such as Wind and Pain in the Stomach, Fullness and Swelling after Meals, ( Dizziness, and Drowsiness, Cold Chills, Flushings of Heat, Loss of C Shortness of Breath, Costiveness, Scurvy, Blotches on the Stan, Disturbed ( Sleep, Frightful Dreams, and all Nervous and Trembling Sensations, &c. f THE FIRST DOSE WILL GIVE RELIEF IN TWENTY MINUTES. f ) BEECH AM S PIUS TAKEN AS DIRECTED RESTORE FEMALES TO COMPLETE HEALTH. / ( For Sick Headache, Weak Stomach, Impaired ( \ Digestion, Constipation. Disordered Liver, etc., ) S thoy ACT LIKE MAGIC, Strengthening tbo lnueriihu' System, rent. ring l,inß-l"'t Com- \ C ptexion. iTii.ging ln-k t!n heen edge vf appetite. and ar-.usiiiK yij.t u 0F S / HEALTH Lho a hole physical energy t tin- human frame. Ono or the ffuainnu l r j ti> tho Nervous and Debilitated 1h that BEECHAM'S PiLLS HAVE THE LARGEuT SAL. OF v < ANY PROPRIETARY MEDICINE IN THE WORLD. . > / Prrniirfd onlv by TIIOM BKHIIAM. St. Helen*. I.i.r.enhlre. England. C S Sold bl/ Druutllst*generatig. B. F. ALLEN CO.. 365 and 367 Canal St. New York. 1 C Kola Aui'iits for the ITilted Si tites. vho (if i/<>itr drugpint does not keepthemi \\ li,l. maiij s / bbboii 8 PII - fKould & houses tookj^ faa r wi hh SAP QUO tt jßffi Try cvcd,ke in your next*- i®|? s!i$ !i A SENSE OF DECENCY Constrains many people to hide the dirt of their kitchens. They make the kitchen a secret chamber, into which it is forbidden to enter; but half the trouble which they take to hide tho dirt and the disgrace which it en tails, would keep the kitchen clean, and all its pots and pans bright aa a dollar, that is, if they use cvm WATERPROOF COLLAR or CUFF THAT CAN BE RELIED ON BE UP Not TO 2 W °t tO PtoQOlOgf L— BEARS THIS MARK. mark. ' NEEDS NO LAUNDERINC. CAN BE WIPED CLEAN IN A MOMENT. THE ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF COLLAR IN THE MARKET. The New Pension Bill. Every soldier who Is disabled from any cause, ev ery soldier s widow, father or mother, should write | us at once for blunts and Instructions. Ten years' experience. Small fees. No charge for advice. Ad dress CH AS. K. I' AI It MA N A CO., Washington, D. C, nnillHl HA HIT. Only Orinln lot IIHIIIM eaai C THE In fbe World. I)r *#■ I UITI j. 1,. STId'HENN. Lebanon. C DciyciniicraM^ r Cladl UlWiivv. 1 McCormlck A Son 4.Washington. D. 0., <* Cincinnati, 0 How If you are thinking of building a house you ought to buy the new hook. Pnlll-rr> Ainer ciui Arcli- Itcctiiw, or every man a completei builder,prepared by l'ttiiiser, Talliser ti Co.,thewellknown architect* There is not a Builder or apy one intending to bull.lor otherwise interested that can uflord to be without it It is a practical work and everybody buya It. The best, cheapest and inoatpopular work ever issued on Building. Nearly four hundred drawing* A book In *l7c and si vie, but wo have determined to make it meet the popular demand, to suit the times, ■othatitoan bo easily reached by all. This book contains 104 pages Hxll inches in size, andoonsi tB of largo 9x12 plate pages, giving plun* elevations, perspective views, descriptions, owners names, actual cost of oonMtruc.Mon.iip jniws >vprU. andiustructlona flow to llulld 70< ottages, v illas. Double Houses. Brick Block Houses, suitable tof city suburb*, town and country, houses for the nmn and workiugnion'e homes for all sections of the country, and costing from $ ax) to s<>,6oo: also Barns. Stables, School House, Town Hall. Churches and Other public, buildings, together v itb sue. ifloat ions, form of contract, and a lur-n amount of information on the erection or buildings, selection of site, <'ia ploymont of Architects. It is wartli $8 to any on* but we will send it in paper cover by mail, postpaid, on reoeipt of bound In cloth S2.O[X ARCHITECT CO.. 15 Vandewater Bt.. New York. CF*ilenUon 'rids Taper. A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FOREVER. INITIAL BADGES, The Latest Novelty One of the greatest novelties at the Paris Kxposi ion was the EXCELSIOR INITIAL BADC.ES : over three millions of them being sold in less than sixty days We have after considerable trouble and ox cense been enabled to purchase the original dies aml j are now prepared to supply them to the people < the United States at ONE-THIRD their original i The Excelsior Initial Badges are niadn in f -erinnii ki11.... and Uiiinsn l.'olil .one f the nearest sub- | stitutes for real gold ever produced), with any initial , .I..Hired beautifully enameled In the centre. Ihey ' can bp won" as an ornanient, given for prizes, used n" badges for clubs, societies or lodges. In order to introduce the Excelsior In tial Badges, we will rend one sample with your Initial for 1 .•rnfs. One dozen.any initial desired, f* 1.25. Two lozen, assorted as deaiied, Sif.OO- Always men tion whether you wish the German Silver or Guinea . 'Secretaries of lodges, clubs, societies, etc, should -end for a sample medal. School tea-'h.-rs desiring . lielr pupil" to take an extra Interest in their studies "ill And the Excelsior Initial Badges n ilrst-cJaas j irtlcle. Address all orders to UNION STAMP WOKIiS, 15 Va ndewnter Street, New York City# • I DCMQIHMO PENSION 8111 ILLLUIULLU IS PASSED.™!"::,R: ——— cm ami l athers art en titled to $lB u mo. Fee 110 when t u get votir money. Wanks free. JOSM'II 11. Hl.MKlt, Any, Wnhlnßluu, l. t. FRFLZER^ UES'MN TIIE WORLD WSUWOt Iff Get tlie Genuine. Sold Lvemvhere. PFNSIIINS A BS B DallWl Vivw Dl-abiilty Pension Act Ev ery soldier Included who served tin days and Is now disabled, no matter what the cause; or in cage of his death his widow and minor children. Dependent parents also benefited. Write at once for blanks and advice to GEO. I>. MITCHELL, Solicitor of Pen sions and Patents, Pox 2" H. Washington. D. Clerk Committee on Pensions >f the U. S. Senate for the last seven years. 7°L<> TO B°LA INTEREST miOO and upwards. Securities lirst-rluss, and in forest guaranteed, References furnished on appti cation. Correspondence solicited. Address, FIRST STATE RANK. Bni'NlVo, Neb. DEPENDENT PENSION BILL has become a law. pfcll HO NT II to all honorably discharged Soldiers and sailors of the late war, who are incapacitated from earning a supi>ort. Widows the same, without regard to cause of death. ; Dependent Parents and Minor Children also Inter ; ested. over 2u years'experience. References In all i-nrtsof the country. No charge If unsuccessful. Write at once for "Copy of Law." blanks nud full in- M ructions am. hike to It. AIcA 1.1.1 ST lilt A CO. isucccsb.'is to Win. Conard & Co.), 1. O. IL.v 71.1, \\ Hsliinuion. 1). C. n ly Bkqlemlf/atlorp A/\rttA'L FRpP and ship goods to bo \ Mid for on doliresjr. It- ! tat. hm M Bend stamp for Data- V tW/\ yhuvr, a"m lofue. rr'HHU lUftrtkd. \j~Jiy ofiiTrai^ LLULUG MFG. CO.. 146 N. MA tfrkliu^k WM. FITCH & CO., 10' i Corcoran Itulldlug, Washington, D. C. PENSION ATTORNEYS ;of over "25 years' experience. Successfully pro-o cute pensions and claims of all k.nds In shortest | possible time. gr"Nu ' s'.tKssKri,. 5 \ /^JONESX / TON SCALES \ f OF \ I S6O I BINGHAMTON \ Beam Bo" Tare Biam J Vjf, N. Y. £./ FIENSION^*^R,R ; R P 3 via in last tvar. 15 adludicatiua claims. attv sine*. B 1 dorse Big (J the onl? CBr#,,B epeclflc for the certain unr* MBW\ TO 6 of this disease. W ,iru Sfll M *1 O. H.INGUAIIAM.M.O,, CT wwßirteWtre. • Amsterdam, N. Y. tea lire ratj by the We have sold Big G for C *T, OlnolnnsU.gSßPP fact ion. Ohio. Vfl D. R. DTCTT E A CO.. ilr 1 Chicago, lit I 81.00. Bold by DrugslsiA
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers