LHLT'LKN FIHME TUT; CUKNLHS. NKCK OR NOTHIN' HALL, | _ KHJEKNNY CORNERS. ( , M Biegum an kiim rite over, fur in the fust place I wanted you to promise to kim over and spend one hull day nex weak, an in the nex place I wunted to onburden my hart to sum -sympatliizin feline, an I didn't no of enny buddy thet wus more so than you." "I'm proud o'yure conference," sea I, a wipin my specks an' tellin Willam Henery to go put up Begum.es lied the way into the frunt room. "It's about Mary Hanner," ses she, arfter she'd got out her nittin' work, "she's thet on- PPy. an ' her man drinks an' abuses her, an' to think wo made her marry him," an' Mis Perkins sithed. "Well, it's too bad." ses I, "but what kaint be Cured must be ondured, an' she tuck him fur better nor worse, an' ef she finds him sum worse then she expected why she ort to stick the titer to him." "I wunt you to talk to her about it," ses she, a wipin her eyes on her apron es she seen Mis Purdy a cummin up the lane. I promised I wood. "I've made up my mind," ses she, "to let my other gals marry who thay plese, an Ellie is a goin to take the Doctor, an Emmie an the minister is awful frenly, but don't mention it," ses She. An I sed I woodn't, an jist then Mis Purdy kim in. "Whare's Willam Henery?" ses sho, arfter she'd shuck bans an kissed me. He jest stepped out with Ben a while ago. "Well, is it so?" ses she. "What so?" ses Mis Perkins an me to onct. "Why, thet you folks air a goin to sell out an go to Utah, whare ho kin marry Mis Boggs an be a Morming alder," ses she. "Land o love!" I gasped; "of all things I Why, we liaiut never even thunk o secli a thing." "Well, it is quare how sech things sturt," ses she. "Tis so," ses Mis Perkins. "What kind o luck you bed with your turkeys this year ?" "O, I didn't raise nun. Purdy sed last year when thay et all the cabbig tliet thay sliudent never not anothei one oum on to the place, so I didn't set enny this year." "Tliay be a dretful instructive crit ter," ses I. "Yes, an do you fead your calves this summer, Mis Perkins?" ses Mis Purdy. "No, we let 'em have half the milk." "Thet is the bes way, I think," ses I. "Yes," ses Mis Purdy, "but lied you heerd thet Mis VanDyke lied a new bow ?" "No," ses we in a breth. "Well, she lies; he's a ole tooth-pullin man. I don't s'pose the school inarm' want him. "I don't no, I'm shore; she likes to devil the widder," ses I. "Yes," ses Mis Purdy, "Jonathan Blodgerses air a gittin better o' the lioopiu cough, now." "I glad to hear it," ses I; an jesi then Willam Henery cum a sneekin in, au fust Mis Purdy node he hollered "boo!" jest es lowd es he cood rite into her ear. "O! you ole scalawag," ses she, a liittin liini a lick over the back with her parasol un brakin it rite Bmnck off'n the han'lo. "Goody good!" ses he, an run off an her arfter him, an he never quit till he lied opsot 3 swill pales an hurt hit corns, then he baiged off. I wus glad they didn't hev no scrum mig. Yourn thankfully, HESTER ANN SCOOPEB. Showing His Sympathy. A fourteen-year-old boy went into his mother's presence with one eye black, his lips swollen, and a ragged scratch across his cheek, the blood from which he had wiped off on liis shirt sleeve. "Nicodemus," cried the parent, as he sneaked in, "have you been fighting ngsin ?" "Nope," he sullenly grunted. "Then what on earth nils your face?" "Jim Green's ma's dead," he replied. "Well, suppose she is, what's that got to do with your bunged up face?" "I seed Jim just now," answered the boy, "ail' he looked awful sad and sol emnsome." "Well?" "I didn't know what ter do, to make him bright and chipper like, an' feclin' so sorry for him, I jest went up an' let him hit me a few licks." "Did it help him?" asked the mother. "Help him ?" echoed the boy iu a sur prised tone; "'course it did! Don't you think it'd make you feel good to bust a fellow that way, what had licked you every week for a year?"—[Atlanta Con stitution. Misleading Statistics. Too implicit a trust should not be placed in extraordinarily low death rates, says i London statistician. It is fre quently stated that the death rate of some particular place is but eight, ten or twelve per thousand inhabitants. A moment's consideration will show that such figures ure fallacious, for a death rate of ten per thousand means either that every child born reaches the age of a hundred, or that the average age of all who die is a hundred. It is certain that there is no community in which every child that comes into the world will pass safely through the many dangers that beset childhood, and therefore a death rate of ten per thousand must mean that every adult who dies is con siderably over a hundred years of age. CTJACOBS OH CURES PERMANENTLY NEURALGIA. Instant Reliof, First Application. Boonville, Mo., Dec. 28,1885. I suffered dreadfully with neuralgic pains In head which affected face and eyes. I could not attend work. I obtained instantaneous relief from first application of St. Jacobs Oil. H. M. CLARK. Suffered 4 Days Severely. 4626 Penna. Ave., Pittsburg, Pa..Feb. 18,1889. . I suffered very severe pains from neuralgia for four days, but was cured by St. J CLCODB Oil. Mrs. JOHN KLEPPLE. AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALKBS. THE 9HARLES A. VOQELER CO.. ■altliaow. IM. JIEHCIfIHC HUIIK TOR ALL r NO PAV CIE.IUI. N. w. pitotwßid xtt'r. wim. u. a URUXKV LOAN Ell. MONEY SAVED. W.utei * Agents evarywbm-B to represent The Capita SaVlnsa MID Loan Sooiety. Provident Bills., Phils STORY OF A BUSY LIFE. HON. JOHN WANAMAKKR, POSTMAS TER GENERAL. How H® Won His Way In Iho Worltl-Hla Public and Homo Life —Personal Char acteristics and lliisiness Methods—His Wife a Woman of Tact. /j**" OBODY likes a good stol 7 or joke better than II none can laugli with 'ii ! mole heartiness, writes \ *^^X==\v a tts hington corres- VjnSfebyjQ?* Nlpondent. The story of "Wlfflnf early life is brief, ' and very much like the stories of the lives of " other men who rise to fortune through tlio force of in dustry and their own ability. The present Postmaster General was born in Chainbersburg, Pa., in 1838. When a boy he worked in the little brickyard owned by his father, and left that to enter a book store at $1.25 a week. His next move was to Philadelphia, and he got there aided only by the sturdy legs that trudged over every foot of the way between Chambersbnrg and the city of white marble steps. In Philadelphia he married, and was made Secretary of the Young Men's Chris tian Association —two events that hap pened not very far apart. In 1861 his father-in-law started him in a store which was the beginning of his present immense establishment. That is tho story of his life. And it is as different from his present existence as the brickyard of his boyhood is dif ferent from the Postofllce Department of the United States. The present family of the Postmas ter General consists of that official himself, Mrs. Wanamaker, Thomas B. and L. Rodman Wanamaker, and the two girls, Misses Minnie and Lilly, the former a debutante of this season and the latter a sprightly young lady of 13. One of the sons, the elder, is in Phila delphia, while L. R. Wanamaker is in France representing the firm of Wan amaker & Co., of Philadelphia. Mrs. Wanamaker and her two daughters are in Washington. The house occupied by the Wana makers is not only historical but sur rounded by memories of the most MBS. WANAMAKER CRUSHES THE CUP. brilliant social events that have ever shone in American society. The house was part of the old Frelingliuysen es tate. The interior has been remodeled to a very great extent, and cost a good many thousands of dollars. The par lor is charmingly furnished, the pre vailing tone being rather dark. Etch ings, engravings, and bric-a-brac till odd nooks and spaces, but tho most beautiful pictures are where they should be—in tho art gallery. Her home and charity are Mrs. Wauamaker's chief pleasures in life. Although judicious through the force of the very instinct which prompts her gifts, she annually gives away a great deal of monev directly or indirectly to the poor of Philadelphia. Tho chief characteristic of the woman is tact, a trait which, everything considered, she possesses in a most remarkable degree. A story is told of Mrs. Wanamaker which clearly illustrates this attribute. Mr. Wanamaker met one day a man whom he had known in years gone by and to whom ho desired to show some courtesy, so he invited him to call on Mrs. Wunamakor. Now, this old friend was primitive in his ways and rather THE WANAMAKER MANSION. crude as to social observances, so Mr. Wanamaker sent his wife word to make the caller as much at home as possible. As it happened, the caller made his appearance just as Mrs. Wanamaker was in the midst of an afternoon tea. When he saw what was going on a nervous desire to get out only increased his embarrassment. Mrs. W anamakcr, seeing this, tried to calm him with a cup of tea served in a cup belonging to a new and almost priceless set, handing him the beverage with her own hand. Of course the first thing the vis itor did was to break the cup, at which mishap he was rapidly dying of fright when Mrs. Wanamaker turned to him and said: "These cups are so fragile that they are almost useless," and then turning, so as to be seen by all, said: "See how easily they break, and while speaking crushed the cup iu her own hand into a dozen pieces. But to return to the Postmaster Gen eral himself. There is about his office none of the exclusiveness that so often marks the Cabinet ollicer. Between Mr. Wauamaker's desk and tho corri dor of tho department there is but one door, and that is of lattice-work. No double row of secretaries or aids ask you what you want or why you want it. You go in, wait your turn in the ante-room, and are then privileged to walk up to the desk of the Postmas ter General, make your little speech, and then give the next man a chance. Thero is not a single employe of the United States Government that works harder or more hours a day than the Postmaster General. He rises at 6, breakfasts at 6:30, reads, the .morning papers, and'is at his'desk at 8 o'clock, an hour before the department is open for business or the clerks have arrived. Laid Over One Train. "Put down room No. 52 to be called in time for the 4:30 train in the morn ing," lie said, as he leaned gracefully over toward the night clerk of a Mis sissippi hotel. "Case of life and death ?" queried the clerk. "Why, no; but I want to get to Jack son before noon." "Hadn't you better wait for the 9:30 train ?" "What is it to you?" "Nothing but the excitement and muss, and I shall probably have to testify at the Coroner's inquest." "I—l don't eXactly catch on." "Come up stairs, please." When they had ascended to the first sleeping floor the clerk continued: "This is room No. 28, as you see. There are five bullet holes in the doer. Man in here last week wanted to be called for that early train. Boom No. 30 has seven bullet holes, but those stand for two men. This new piece in the carpet here is where a man fell and bled to death. Down here " "But who kills off these guests?" 1 asked the traveler. "Oh, the other guests. As soon as the nigger comes up and knocks and bawls out, Col. bliaw, who has No. 32, reaches for his shotgun. Over in No. 29 Jndge Havens slips out with his revolver. Major Brooks, who is in No. 33, always comes in a good third with a Derringer, and the rest of the fellows along the hall are always more or less well heeled. We don't care so much about the nigger, as niggers are mighty cheap around here, but there must be an inquest on the body of the white man, and " "Did I say call me for the 4:30 train ?" queried the traveler. "I believe so." "Then it was a mistake. I'm in no hurry. In fact, I like Mississippi in general and this town in particular; and even if I get away at 9:30 I shall be sorry to go. Just rub out the memo randa, aud if I don't got up in time for breakfast you needn't mind sending m nigger up to pound on the door. New York Sun. A True Fish Story. Nearly a year ago Fisherman W. T. Van Dyke, while pursuing his occupa tion off shore, invitingly threw out a fishing line with two well-baited hooks. Presently there was a jerk—the bait bad "took." Van Dyke was hauling in hand over hand, wlieu suddenly the tension ceased, and the line was grace fully and adroitly whisked into the boat minus both books. Last fall Mr. Yau Dyke in emptying ono of his "ponnds" of his over-night catcli, discovered among his captives a "pig" fish and a sea bass united by a bit of fishing cord, which ho readily identified as his own. A hook had penetrated the jaw of each iish, and, becomiug imbedded there, the fiesh had grown around tlieir barbs and tlms securely fastened them in position. Thus held together for nearly a twelve month they had courßed the briny in double team, lield by a single twine, till death cut their thread of life in twain. The skeletons of this curious pair ol accidental Siamese twins, together with the hooks and line which consti tuted their sole domestic tie, now adorn the walls of the fisli house ol Mr. Van Dyke on Ocean avenue, oppo site North Bath aveuue.— Long Brandt News. The Devil Broke Loose. HILE working on Tv V a '- ou " 10rn news \\li\xlf paper I was sent down intonswamp J/S&ufflptti \i jl/ neighborhood to investigate a ru mor to the effect / —/\ that the devil had tt\ \j/j) broken loose. No, /. y it was not a po v litical disturbance. It was declared by the negroes that the devil—the old personal fellow himself—had mado liis appearance in the community. Ho first made himself known by leaping over the fence into the county load, snatching up a horse that belonged to a highly respected citizen and pulling the animal in two. The next occasion of the old man's introduction was at a hog-killing. He seizod a shout, knocked down a justice of the peace with it, swallowed a chunk of tire and then went shouting through the woods. Shortly after reaching the neighbor hood I learned that all the reports could be traced to a negro preaolior, an old fellow who was regarded with ex treme veneration. I called on him and found him in the woods engaged in prayer. "I have been told," said I, "tliat you could givo mo some information con cerning tlio dovil that is now ailing himself in this neighborhood." "Ah, Lawd, chile, I does hope an' pray dat you won't talk ter me on dut subjeck. It's er awful time we's liabin' down yore, an'lessen dar'ssome mighty tall prayin' somebody gwine ter git hurt powerful." "Have you seen the dovil ?" I asked. "I wush you wouldn't put me iu do mine o' anything so awful." "But have you seen him?" "Cose I has. AVliut you come foolin' wid me dnt. way fur? How I gwiue ter know so much erbout liini ef I ain't dun seed liim?" "Whatdoes ho look liko?" "I ain't got time ter tell you whnt lie do look like, sail. Da's so muck erbout him ter tell dat I wouldn't like ter un dertake de job. Monst'us, sak; ok, ke was monst'us." "Now, look liere, old man, you are too intelligent to believe in suck non sense. You know that no devil has been seen; you know that you started the report yourself." "Look yere, sak," ke exclaimed, turn ing wratlifully upon mo, "wkut you mean by oomin' down yere a-foolin' an* a meddlin' wid our 'ligious affairs? Ain't you got no bisness ter tend ter at home ? Doan you know dat you got tor keep de devil constantly befo' deso niggers or da ain't gwine do no good? Wliar I preached last year I got up an' tole 'em dat I didn't bl'ebe dat dar wuz any devil, an' wkut did da do? Da cut down my salary, dat's whut da done. Yas, out down my salary, an' den didn't gib me but half o' do cut-down. An', 'stead o' takin' off dar hats when da meet me in de road like da uster do, da'd laugh at me an' call me old knock kneed Ben. So when I come ober yere I 'lowed tor myse'f, I did, dat I wuz gwine ter use diffunt tactics, an' I has. W'y, sail, of you take de devil outen 'ligion, de nigger preacher would starve ter death, so go on away now, an' quit foolin' wider bisness dat you ain't got no intrust in." WISK AND UN WISE. HALF fare—a mulatto. WHO kills all the dead letteru? Misa Direction. EVER and anon turning over * new leaf—the cigarmaker. IF the world is a stage we suppose it is the sea that take 9 the heavy roles. LUSHER —My dear, I think I will go out and get au opera glass. Mrs. L.— i Better get a pair and not go out after the next act. HE—They say it takes three genera tions to make a gentleman. She—ln deed! "What a pleasant prospect for your grandson. GUILTY conscience: Waiter (at the club) —There is a lady outside who says that her husband promised to be home early to-night. All (rising)— Excuse me a moment. SMARTY —I wonder how the moon manages to sustain her social status among the heavenly bodies when she gets full so often. Tarty—Oh, the stars wink at her delinquencies. TEACHER Johnny, what do you I think you would like to be when a man ? ; Pupil—A school teacher. Teacher— And why? Pupil—'Cos dad says folks don't need to know much for that. THE outburst of a hitherto patient boarder: "Mrs. Starvem, I can stand having hash every day in the week, but when on {Sunday you put raisins in it and call it mince pie, I draw the line, j "Now, PATRICK, in regard to wages, I'll give you SBO a month with board, i or SSO without board." "I don't under ! stand, sor; but I'll take SSO a month and ate ineaelf, or I'll take S3O and lave i me ate you." UNDERTAKER (to new assistant) —Go down town and get a bier. Tell them to charge it to me. New assistant (to him self) —Gewhillikens! That's the kind of a man I like to work for. I'll make it two for luck. JONES —Why, Phoebus, you surely cannot have whitewashed that back room in so short a time. You were to j put on two coats of whitewash, you remember Phoebus—Yes, sail. I done put on bofe togedder. A DISTINGUISHED guest: Hostess- Wall, cldali, dinnali's all ready. I guess ef yo' jes hitch yo'ehah up to de table, now Host—Neb' min' 'bout movin'. Ike, jes' tek liol' dat en' de table, an' slide it up to de eldah. DOCTOR—WeII, my fine little fellow, you have got quite well again. I was quite sure that the pills I left for you would cure you. How did you take them, in water or in cake? "Oh, I used them in my blow-gun!" PAPA'S credit was bad: Stranger little man, do you know where I can pur chase some bed tick? Little man— They aiu't no place in town, sir. "O, there must be." "Well, anyway, I heard pa tell ma that he couldn't get none." SELF-ARRESTED prisoner--For heaven's sake, your Honor, send me somewhere where I can do some work. I'm dying from inactivity. The Judge —Who are you ? Prisoner—l'm Chauncey Depew's cook, sir. He hasn't been home to din ner for four years. DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS LOADED. I pushed tho wavy golden locka From off her forehead fair, And where a frown had lately boon A kiss I printod there. I hold the troBBOB shining fair AH yellow buttercup, "WAS that a good kiBB, love?" said I, And she replied, "Hang up." j — •Brtmonimu Bo und to Have His Smoke. There is a married man living up town I who dearly loves to smoke. Before he ; married he promised, of course, as most men do, that the minute he was married [ lie would quit smoking. And, of course, i ns most men do, within a month after the wedding he was indulging himself on the | way down town. Of course, he had the odor of tobacco smoke about his clothes j continually, and he tried to make his wife j believe that it came from being where 1 other men were smoking, but she would | not have it. So he boldly confessed and j began to smoke in the house. This, she declared, she would nat endure, and the ; poor gentleman was put to his I trumps to satisfy his craving for the | weed. As it happens, there is a police | station across the way, and he bethought | him that the officers might permit him to I smoke in one of the detention cells. He I applied to the captain and his request was granted. So every evening now lie strolls ! over to the police station, goes to a cell, I and smokes his pipe in peace.—[Buffalo Courier. A Human Sandwich. I Fred Roberts, a workingmau of New York, out of work, invited attention to j himself the other day by walking along I Broadway with this placard on his back: lam not Bret liurtc, Berry Wall or j George Francis Train; simply a married ! j man, a street railroad employe out of i "work, who lias used every means to find . | employment. Ido not wish to say any-1 I "thing against the circulation of the New York press. lam an earnest, hard | worker, willing to do anything. Please do not stare at me, as I am modest. Yours very truly, THE SANDWICH. ! He was arrested and hauled to the ! Tombs, but was discharged on his! promise not to display his sign any more. I James Gordon Bennett's hair has turned white since he WHS last in America. Now is i j To purify your blood and fortify your system against the debi'ltatiug effects of spring weather At no other season Is the bitter taste in the mouth more prominent, the breath BO offensive, the drowsy dizziness so frequent, or that extreme tired feeling HO prevalent. Hood'G Sarsaparilla in Just | the medicine to Luihl up the system, purify the I blood, cure biliousness and headache, overcome that tired feellug and create a good appetite. The I peculiar medicinal merit of Hood's SArsaparilla Is j shown by the many remarkable cures It accom plishes where others fall. Hood's Sarsaparilla "For a first-class spring medicine my wife and I thiriV very highly of Hood's Sarsaparilla. We both took it last spring. It did us A great deal of good pud we felt better through the hot weather thau ever before. It cured my wife of sick headache, from which she has suffered a great deal, and re lieved me of a dizzy, tired feeling. I think every oue ought to take something to purify THE blood be fore the hot weather comes ou. — J. H. PBARCB, Supt. Granite Ry. Co., Concord, N. H. Hood's Si Sold by all druggists. $1: six for (3. Prepared only tev C 1. HOOD ft CO., Lowell, Mam. 100 Doses One Poller He Ma*hed a Hat. Along about the middle of the coach was a young lady, not a beautiful girl, but just ordinary, although she had a very jaunty hat and a sealskin sacque. A young man got on at Castile, who stood at the door and looked the pas sengers over for a minute or two, and he then walked deliberately down the aisle and plumped himself down beside the girl. As he did so there was a crash and a crush, and he sprang up to discover that he had sat down upon a bandbox and mashed it tlat. 44 I'm so sorry—so sorry 1" he stam mered as he turned all sorts of colors. "Mister man!" she replied as she in spected the ruin, "have you got sl2 in cash about you ?" "W-wliat! I really beg your pardon. Indeed, I didn't " "Fork over!" she interrupted, hold ing out her hand. "Twelve dollars!" "Exactly. You have mashed a sl2 bonnet, and I want the money." "But, miss—but " "My brother Bill is forward in the smoking car, and if you don't pay I'll call him! There's nothing cheap about Bill. He'll knock SSO worth of jaw off your chin before he gets through with you." "I'll pay, miss," "That's business. Fifteen dollars, eh ? Twelve from fifteen leaves three, and here's the change and the hat. Next time you go to kerplunk down beside anybody look out for breakers." "I beg to apologize, miss," he re plied. "Oh, you needn't; you got off cheap. If you hadn't smashed the hat I'd have pulled $25 worth of hair out of your head anyhow." Everybody felt sorry for the man. He got into a seat at the end of the car, closed himself up like a jackknife, and every time the door opened what we could see of him turned pale for fear it was her brother Bill.— New York Sun. A Change of Room. "You will have to give me another room, I guess," said a Congressman to the hotel clerk. "What's the matter? aren't you I comfortable where you are?" "Well, not exactly. That German musician in the next room and I don't get along well. Last night he tooted away on his clarionet so that I thought I never would get to sleep. After I had caught a few winks I was awakened 'by a pounding on my door. 'What's the matter?' I asked. 'Of you blease, said the German, 'dot you vould schnore of the same key. You vas gc from J,* flat to G, und it schpoils der mootdV. '"— U'nQhLjiafan Pout. AN edge-tool trust is the latest ad dition to that class of combinations. The projectors should remember that some tools cut both ways. The Only titan rati teed (Mire For all blood tuint and humors, pimples, blotches, eruption* and skin diseases of every name and nature, is Dr. Pierce's Golden Medi cal Discovery. A certificate of guarantee from a responsible business lionse warrants it to leneht or cure, or money refunded. Chronic Nasal Catarrh positively cured by Dr. Sage's itemedy. 50 cents, by druggists. —The oldest editor in Ohio is Oran Follett, of Sandusky. He is nearly 95 years of age. Watch for Murray's Buggy adv. next week. The ex-Empress Eugenie has taken to writing poetry, said to he of excellent quality. Would You Il<-lleve The Proprietor ot Kemp's Balsam gives Thousands of Bottles away yearly? This mode of advertising would prove ruinous if the ; Balsam was not a perfect cure for Coughs and | all Throat and Lung troubles. You will see | the excellent effect after taking the first dose. Don't hesitate! Procure a bottle to-day to keep in your home or room for immediate or future use. Trial bottle Free at all druggists'. Large Size 50c and sl. —Col. J. A. Wood, the traveling man of the Concord (N If.) Monitor, has been made con sul at Shot brooke, Out. America's finest—"Tuftsin's Punch" Cigar. —Oakey Hall is now in charge of the Lon don bureau of tlic New York World Six Novels b\ie sent by Graffiti & Co., Phtta Pa., to anv one in U. S. op (Tana-la post na it' upon receipt ot 25 Dobbine'e lilectncal Sap wrappers. See list of novels on circulars around each bar. This soap for sale by all grows? —John Russell Young is on atrip with James Gordon Bennett, yaclniug. Progress. It is very important in this age of vast mate rial progress that a remedy be pleasing to the 1 1 taste and to the eye, easily taken, acceptable to the stomach and healthy in its nature and effects. Possessing these qualities, Syrup of Figs is the one perfect laxative and most gen tle diuretic known. —II. M. Stuuley's book, when it appears, willbepubli bed in French. German, Italian, Czech, Nor.-c, Spanish and English. STATH OK Orrro, CITY OK TOI.KDO, I LUCAS COUNTY, J W * FRANK .1. C'fiKNKY makes oath that he is the | senior partner of the firm of F. J. CHKNKY & Co., doing husine s in fcMo City of Toledo, 1 County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay iho sum of O.NK HUNDHKD DOLLARS for each and every case of Catarrh that cannot bo cured by the use of .'s CATAHHII Cutis. J. CIIKNKY. I Sworn to before mo and subscribed in ray presence, this tith day of December, A. I)., 1886. t —| A. W. GLKASON. XHKAL >• Notary Public. nail's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and acta directly upon the blood and mucous sur faces o the system. Send for testimonials, F. J. CrtENiiY & Co., Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, 7. c. —Rev. C. B. W. Gordon,editor of a religiom paper, at Petersburg, Va., has resigned the pa.-tor ate of a church there because of a polit ical sermon. Mr. Gordon is one of the most effective preachers i•> thn South IT 11 the Time Hood's Sarsaparilla U the best blood purifier be fore the public. It erad catos scrofula uud all hu mors, cures salt rheum, bolls, pimples, etc. The severest cases of blood poisoning have yielded to Its superior curative power. "This Is to certify that I have used Hood's Snrsa parllla lit my family for some time past and ha ve found It to be a good blood purifier. It lias been of great benefit as recommended and I have no hesita tion In recommending It to all who are In waut of any medicine of the kind."— ROBERT A. SMITH, Jus tice of the Peace, Honesdale, Pa. The Spring SVSedicine "I wish to enroll my name as one of. those who have derived health from tho use of Hood's Sarsa pavllla. For many years I have takeu it, especially lu the early spring, when I am troubled with dizzi ness, dullness, unpleasaut taste in my mou 'i ia tho morning. It removes this bad taste, relieves my headache oud makes me feel greatly refreshed. Tho two bottles I have used this spring have bceu worth a dollar a dose. 1 —JOHN BIHNS, 6G3 43d Street. Town of Lake, Chicago, 111. arsaparilla | Sold by all druggists. $1; lx for SO. Prepared oily | by C. I. HOOD ft CO., Lowell, Mass. I 100 Doses One Dollar MABEL S GRANDMA. " The world is even as we take it. And life, dear child, is what we make it." This is sens©, ©von if it is not Shakes- I pearean. Indeed, it is the opening stanza of an anonymous ixxm. It was tho senti ment of an old lady to her grandchild Mabel. And many a Mabel has found it | to be true, and sho has mode her lifo a very I happy one because she has taken care of her health. She koeps on hand a supply of Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, and so is not troubled with those wasting diseases, l weaknesses, " dragging-down " sensations | and functional irregularities that so many j women endure. It is the only medicine for I women, sold by druggists, under a positive guarantee from the manufacturers, that it will give satisfaction in every case, or f money will be refunded. This guarantee I has been printed on the bottle-wrappers, I and faithfully carried out for many years, j "Favorite Prescription" is a legitimate j medicine, not a beverage. Contains no alcohol to inebriate ; 110 syrup or sugar to 1 derange digestion. As peculiar in its reme dial results as in its composition. As a powerful, invigorating tonic, it DR. PIERCE'S PELLETS Purely Vegetable and Perfectly Harmless. Unequaled as a Liver Pill. Smallest, Cheapest, Easiest to Take. On© Tiny, Sugar-coated Pellet a Dose. Cures Sick Headache, Bilious Headache, Constipation, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the ?" bv druggists. Egjj Best Cough Medicine. Recommended by Physicians, ■tja ■■ m Cures whore all oiso fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the KB Ul taste. Children take it without objection. By druggists. qjfrmzpnsoaEEMljp Did Not Consummate the Kule. A grizzled old former with a shot gun put two swindlers to flight a few j inilos north of Mascoutah. His naint i Henrv Emmerich. Ho signed tin old swindling lightning-rod contract ! under the impression that ho was got ting his lightning rods for sls. Wliec he discovered the true character of his I contract he took down his double-bar ■ reled shot-gun and waited for tin ! party of the first part. He hod not long to wait before the swindlers cann j prepared to put the rods on tho build '"■ "Stop! said Emmerich, as one of! the agents started to enter. "You can't come in," and he backed the assertion with his shot-gun. "But," protested tho lightning-rod man, "T have a contract to put up rods on your building, and I am here foi that purpose." "How much will it cost?" asked Em merich. Something over $15," was the reply. "How much more?" said Emmerich. "Well, sir, it will cost you $630." "I don't think it will," said Emmer ich, decidedly, and ho cooked both hammers of tho shot-gun. "Now," he continued, "I will give you just five minutes to get off my place, and if you don't get I'll fill you so full of buck shot that you won t know what hurt you." Tlioy lied.— Minneavoli.i Tribune. March, April, May are the Months when the Blood should be renovated with Ayer'sSarsaparilla j and the System fortified for the change of Seasons. Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. PATENTS fa* £**• f,- DR. SCHENCK'S SEAWEED ; fill 0 TONIC In a Positive Cure for ffli DYSPEPSIA ivo Organs. It is likewise a TLB Medicine, and may he I taken with great hem-fit in all I cones of Debility. For Sale bf nil Druggists. I'rico.tl.OO per bottle. Dr.Sclienck's 1 New Hook on Lungs Liver and Bt<*uu-h mailed free, address. Pr_Mt. SCHENCK A SUN. Philadelphia. FREEMAN dk MONEY, Washington, D. a PATENT, PENSION. CLAIM AND LAND ATTOKNKTS. . T* Money, 10 year* Member of Congress. A. A. Freeman, 8 years Ass't U. 8. Att'y-Gen. PATENTS—PfcNSIQHSu'r ftf® Seat of Pension and Bounty laws. Send for Inventors* •ttlde or How to Get n Patent. PATRICK O'FARKRLL, Attorney at Law, Washington, D. C. t7R TO Stiff 0 A MONTH can be made working v'v for us. Persons preferred who can furnish e horse and give their whole time to the business. Spare moments may be profitably employed also A few vacancies In towns and cities. B. F. JOHN BON A CO.. 1009 Main Kt,, Richmond, Ya. FRAZER ™- E ■"Mu; ish" SJliAsr . 1 imparts strength to the whole system, and to the womb and its appendages in particular. For overworked, " worn-out," "rim-down." debilitated teachers, millin ers, dressmakers, seamstresses, "shop-girls." housekeepers, nursing mothers, and feeble women generally, Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is tno greatest earthly boon: being uuequaled as an appetizing * cordial and restorative tonic, or strength-giver. As a soothing and strengthening nervine. I'Favorite Proscription" is uuequaled and is invaluable in allaying and subduing nervous excitability, irritability, exhaus tion, prostration, hysteria, spasms and other distressing, nervous symptoms, commonly attendant upon functional and organic dis ease. It induces refreshing sleep and re lieves mental anxiety and despondency. A Book of JGO pages, on Woman and Her Diseases, their Nature, and How to Cure them," sent sealed, in plain envelope, on receipt of ten cents, in stamps. Address, WORLD'S DISPENSARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, 663 Main St., Buffalo, N. Y. iEly'sGieamßalm^Sl (UVPH Heller nt Once for PS?- 4 " ] COLD IN HEAD.^ YFEVtR CATARRH, Lr^l , AlTb,balm into each nostril. I IT A iTltos,. fid Warren St., N. V WNT sQgl fIDBII&J "ADIT. Only Certain and UrIUM PI EN BIQ N d£S3 " 0.?' 3 yrs hi last war, 15 adjudicating claims, ntt-y since. DROPSY TREATED FREE. PoNitively Cured with Vegetable Remedies. Have cured thousands of cases. Cure patlentr pro nounced hopeless by best physicians. From first dose symptoms disappear; lu ten days at least two-thirds 1 all symptoms removed. Send for free book testlrao ! nials of miraculous cures. Ten days' treatment . free by IUMII. If you order trial, send Pic. iu stamp.) I to pay postage. DR. 11. H. UKKKS A SONS, Atlanta, Ga TOBIAS' Derlif Conditioii Powflers ARK WARRANTED SUPERIOR TO ANY OTHERS, OR. NO PAY, 1 For the Cure of DinteraPer, Heaves, Hide, bound, Worms, Hots, Scurvy, |,„SN of frond, etc.. in Horses, Worms, lloiu Distem per. Iljncii Tongue, Colds. Coughs RIH| I,oss of Cud in Cottle. No one has ever used thorn but continues their use and recommends thorn to his friends. l'rlee '2Si Cents per llox. DEPOT, 40 MITIt It A Y KT.. NEW YORK. Sold by all Druggists and Saddlers. nr-Get Pamphlet and read tho Certificates *i nnn paid If not genuine. w ' \ AFTER ALL OTHERS FAIL CONSULT I)II. I.OIKH, U2U North PlfteentU Street, I'liiludelpliiu, Twenty years' experienae In special diseases; cures the worst cases of Nervous Complaints, Wood Poisoning, Blotches, Kruptlous, Piles, Catarrh, Ulcers, Sores, Impaired Memory. Despondency, Dimness of Vision, Lung. I.lvor. Stomach, Kidney (Wight's Disease;; confidential. | MP OftU or write lor qOOStIOA llt and Oeoi' I specific certain cum Jvi TO 6 DAYS. of this JIfIPIVSe. ma (j. 11, INO It A ILA M, NL IX, El grd only \>y tho We have sold Rig Of or Xalr'jL Cincinnati Taction. d - r £l.oo. Sold by Druggists, CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PILLS RCD CROSS DIAMOND BRAND anil roltaMf daM*er°ui> oouwiterficl? d jp ■djTll'irfjr "* byre Mum Hour If you are thinking of building a bouse you ought to buy tho new book, l'nlllscr'N Aiiierirnii Arch* ltecnre, or every man a complete builder,prepared by PaUlser, Falliser k Co.,the wellknown architects, rbero is not a Builder or any out intending to build or otherwise interested that can afford to b* riiU book contains I(>4 pages I'*" Viii St' n<\ conglrt. of lnra 9x13 P l,te .ffSKlßii? I J,EISSI elevations, perspective views,, dsMcnptlons. ow nw|y names, actual cost of eonetrucM^l'il.VvxßVSS? and Instructions flow to Ilulld T0( ottsgos, v llla4 Double Housss. Brick Blots Houses, Lnitride f<j| city suburbs, town and oounhy, houtw for the fart and workingnien'a ntnnes for all sections of tht siss h vtr psws% Other nubile buildings, together with Freeiflcationi, form oI contract, and a larve amount of iriformation on tho eroctlon or ■election of tte, i-ro pfoyment of Architects. It la worth #• to any ona buf we will lend It in paper cover by mall, postpaid, on receipt of $1.00; bound in cloth 52.00. ARCHITECT CO.. 15 Vandewater St., New York. I OrKentlon 'fliis Paper.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers