A WOMAN'S THOUGHTS ON MEN.
liarbura Thorne Describes a Few Types of
the < inn us Homo that She Has Encoun
tered.
O comprehensive
USB a HU^ioct as this
W fSSf § can 110 1 be thor
& J oughly written up
iu two or three
aw IV r) i wr^e liew views
iti flr/it oacl !
f e V~r if I O
ftn 3 Fw IMI As something of
rj /ii \ an °fl se i *° th®
rMH essays upon the
71 n \ typical mother-in -
ffi# 1 R law,spinster, etc.,
p l l J i I will submit
Ju j J | merely a cata
-I I y l°£ ue of the
1 ' K'j - names of the few
j I j types of men that
R j'KI h ftVe seen, each
. would furnish
f, 7[ amusing material
1 >!■ 1 - for a short essay.
I am safe from the fear of offending
any of my masculine readers, since, of
course, no resemblance could exist be
tween auy of them and the unpoetic,
unpleasant ones among these types.
There is the elderly widower, who is
inconsolable for tho loss of his first
companion, though patiently looking
about for his second one.
Tho man with a homely wife who is
desperately jealous of her.
The homely man whose pretty wife
is desperately jealous of him.
The deeply scientific man, who re
gards all women as poor, perishing
packages of protoplasm. This person
can analyze all the poetry out of June
moonlight, or tho perfume and senti
ment out of white roses.
The playful and portly individual
who always iusists upon telling you a
little story that is a trifle "broad' "you
know, ha, ha." This party is apt to
grow familiar upon brief acquaintance,
unless you freeze him by briefest mon
osyllables ; yet, after ali, he is a harm
less creature, generally extremely tire
some.
Then we have all seen the sharp (ex
tremely sharp) man, with inquisitive
nose and little ferret eyes. Ho is
confident that he can see through any
thing and anybody at a mere glance.
"His wife knows better than to try to
fool him, she does." He watches over
his housekeeping, knows how many
papers of pins will last an average fami
ly through the year, and never permits
the h irt'il gil l to use two yeast cakes in
making the bread when ono and a half
will do as well.
Then there is the young man who is
so dreadfully wicked (or who wishes
to mako you believe that lie is) that he
spends all of his leisure trying to think
of some dreadful sin that he has not
yot committed in order that he may
rush right away and perpetrate it.
This desperate youth has "no faith in
woman, not tho least."
Quite a common type is the cool
headed, philosophical genus, who
marries a mock, rustic maiden with the
intention of molding her into an ideal
wife.
An imposing typo is tho extremely
moral and financially sound puritunical
individual, whoso very broadcloth
would quiver with righteous horror if
he was obliged to talk un hour with a
frivolous female. This kind of a man
would look at yon, should you say
"Good morning" to him in a careless,
light-hearted way, as though you were
intriguing to capture him for some ter
rible purpose. He is always "on
guard."
Then there is the neglected genus,
with pantaloons frayed at the bottoms,
whose wife does not appreciate him at
all,-but who still loves her entirely out
of the fullness of his big, chivalrous
heart, as he takes pains to tell you, for
you might become hopelessly interest
ed in him otherwise, aud he only seeks
in yon n kind of intellectual companion,
which really means that he wants the
right to bore you with his stupid liter
ary effusions, and, should his wifo he
an invalid, by long accounts of lier dif
ferent ailments. This creature is one
of the most naively selfish of beings; ho
ends his acquaintance with you by com
promising you in the oyos of tho ono
man in all the world for whose good
opinion you caro most, and finally quar
rels with you because you do not fol
low his advice in choosing your friends.
Another variety, about as unpleasant
as the ono lirst described, is the old
man, tliu very old man with grown-up
children, who talks continually about
"my son John and my darter Jane."
Ho is a widower, and extremely mod
est in his ambition, only desiring a
wifo who shall he young, good-looking,
"saving," and a good nurse, for he is
laid up with rheumatism two-thirds of
the time; aud she must have a snug
little "property" iu lier own right, so
that son John and "darter" Jane may
not forbid the banns. This pleasing
mass of egotistical imbecility ought to
he confined iu an asylum for elderly
idiots.
Then wo have seen the matter-of
fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon occa
sion, to surpriso von by giving evi
dence of latent chivalrousness and fine
ness of sentiment,. His opposite type
is often seen—tlio picturesque and
posing man, who iH extremely coarse
and selfish; the man who is liked bet
ter by women than by men, the man
who is a great favorite with men; tho
pale, sad looking young man, who cap
tivates the fancy by his mysterious
silence. When you break through the
crust of melancholy reserve, you find
that his mental faculties are engaged
a large part of the time iu wrestling
with the problems of what he shall
have for his dinner, the residue of his
leisure being employed in first obtain
ing the price of liis dinner.
Men as fictionists.
The romantic liar, with entertain
ing story of his adventure.
Tho malicious liar.
Men as gossips.
The superannuated masher, with
bahl plate like polished gourd, and
brains as trifling as its rattling seeds.
He stands at street corners and leers
at feminine passers-by.
These are a low of tlio more common
types of masculinity. To look at the
brighter portions of this picture is far
pleasanter for one who would fain
idealize and revere, rather than de
tract from or sneer at.
Tliero is one character very seldom
met with and not to ho forgotten even
when it is found—tho typical Ameri
can man. I say MAN advisedly, be
cause the typical American man is al
ways a gentleman also. If cultured in
the world's ways and versed in bookish
lore, still will a certain breezy
strength, a wholesome good sense, and
fine humor, keep him from a'l affccta
. tjou or too great leaning toward the
sybaritic side of life. If only a back
woodsman, unschooled by art, yet will
nature have taught him her own har
monious and calm propriety of aspect.
She will have given him a spirit of true
cliivalrousness toward women, a sense
of quiet self-respect, anil a native deli
cacy and tact which, if one is to judge
by living examples, no court has yet
been able to impart.
Yet to have been born in this country
can never make a man tho typical
American, nor yet to have descended
from those voyagers in tho Mayflower.
The typical American is a rare creature.
It is hard to describe him, but you al
ways know him when you see him.
In the meantime let us strive to be
just to the average human being, not
yet developed up to the heroic charac
ter of the poet's dream, 'tis true, yet
with much more of nobility about him
than circumstances ever bring out.
Let us even (allegoricallv speaking)
trick him out with the high-lieeled
boots and tall hat, if necessary, "Re to
liia faults a little blind," believe w hat
we can, and hope for tho rest.—Bar
bara Thome, in Chicago Ledger.
WISE AND UNWISE.
JOHN —Elvira, do you love me, or is
it my money? Elvira—John, I love
you both.
WHEN a dude is near-sighteilf and
half-witted he gets on very well with
half an eye-glass.
THE unmarried females of the coun
try will be much interested in the work
of the Patrons of Husbandry.
THE "Forty-niners" of California
were Pan-Americans, though some
pan'd out better than others.
LENA (from New York City)— And
you are going to marry, Ella? Ella
—Yes, I thought I would for a while.
"MUCILAGE trust been formed," said
Jags to Cags. "Somebody's going to
get stuck," was the prediction that
followed.
THEIIE is a rumor that the senior
class at Harvard University is deterio
rating, aud the election of a negro as
class orator seems to give color to it.
FRIEND —Is Jennie's husband a good
provider V Mother-in-law lmmense!
They've been married only about five
years and they have a whole houseful
of children.
"WHY," said the husband, "do you
wear the hair of another woman 011 your
head?" "Why," retorted his better
half, "do you wear the skin of another
calf 011 your hands ?"
MRS. WATTS Mother's birthday
comes next week, and I want to make
her a present. What would you sug
gest? Mr. Watts—lf I had my way
I'd give her a uice, heavy tombstone.
DIGGINS —Do you see that portly
man over there by the door? Wiggins
—Yes; tine-looking man. Diggins—He
takes life easily. Wiggins—Looks as
if he did. Diggins—He does; he's a
doctor.
GENIAL host—Patlirick, me bliov,
you've had quite enough to dlirink.
Take me advice; when ye get to the
top of the street ye'll see two cabs;
take the first, because, begorra, there's
only one.
MISTRESS lt's singular we didn't
catch any mice last night. Did you
set the trap, Bridget? Bridget—l did,
mum. I set it forniust the cheese, and
thin covered it over wid an old hat so
that the mice couldn't see it.
AGENT— Mr. Money much, can I sell
you a phonograph, the greatest inven
tion of the ago ? The machine will guar
antee to talk 200 words per minute,
aud Mr. Moneymucli—Thank you,
sir, but I don't need it. The sowing
circle meets twice per week at our
house.
A NICE plaything for children:
Mrs. Bandbox—Yon said tho train
I should take leaves at 10:30, didn't
von ? Ticket Agent—Yes, madam; and
! think I've told you that about ten
times already. "Yes, I know you have,
but my little boy says he likes to hear
you talk."
FOND father Harry, you have been
waiting on Miss Watson for over a year.
Why don't you marry her? Harry-
She isn't emotional enough. Fond
father—Great Scott, boy, what do you
want with an emotional woman? The
crown of my head is as bare as a bil
liard ball. Your mother was an emo
tional woman.
PARISHIONER —Deacon, I doan't hub
much faith in dat new minister wot yo'
got fo'our church from down Richmond;
he has dun prayed fo' rain for fo' weeks
and not a drap has felled yet. Deacon
—Yes, Bre'r Willy urns, but it hab
rained pow'ful hard at Richmond, an 1
I guess de Lawd hab dun fo'gotton dat
de minister hab changed his place ob
residence.
NOT INSURED.
The moon Iwaniß calmly sifted down
Upon two tender things—
Matilda Murtlia Robinson
And William Henry Rings.
Tho youth was smitten by her charms
And closer to her leant,
And having dared to kiss her, criod,
"It was an accident!"
"For shame young maul" exclaimed tho
maid,
"Withold your compliments,
For well you know I'm not insured
Against these accidents!"
—Hap sand Mishaps.
A SIGN OF CIVILIZATION.
•J _ r
"Bedad, I must be gettin' among
friends. Oi've been walkin' the in
toire mornin' an' that's the furst sign
of civilization Oi've met wid."
HAD TWO GRADES.
Barber—"Shave, sir?"
"Yes, of course."
"Five or ten
A MINNEAPOLIS man claims to have
invented a motor - which will do all
kinds of kitchen work. It is under
stood to have no cousins, ,
A ROUMANIAN DINNER.
Strange Food, Wild Music and Beau
tiful Women.
The Roumanian food is as st: ange as
the meloJies, writes a Paris correspond
ent of the Philadelphia Telegraph.
When, for instance, at the invitation of
several distinguish d Roumanians, I
dined at the Roumanian restaurant built
in the exhibition, I was first offciod, as
an appetizer, a ghisiof tzuiea. This is
an alcohol made from plums. It is lik
the Hungarian slivo -lie, but is loss alco
holic, and has not so strong a medicinal
flavor. Served in Miia'.l, rough litt o ,
glass bottles, eonta'ning about two
liquor glasses full, 3 011 are supposed to
drink from t':G bottle ai d tn empty the
bottle. If a glrss is given, this is a 0011-
oassion to IVts'on prejudices. After
having duly firtified myself with this
strange but potent decoction, I was in- '
trodnced to the mysteri< a of a Rouman
ian soup. This was made with wa er in
which had l.een steoj ed for several days
the bran of India i co'ii. When the I
bran had fermented ai d the \\a or l j
come thoi oughly 10.11, the liquid was i
drawn oft* and used to stew lamb. Til's
acid lamb soup is, it nppe us, very pop- 1
ular in the East. It is certainly refresh
ing. I preferred, however, the viirall e,
or light natural white wine, wliic'.i leaves
a perfumed flavor in the mouth, tin ugh
it is such an ordinary wine that in Rou
mania it sells for 5 to G cents the litre.
Then we had some excellent slowed
chicken with paprika siiuoe, as in Hun- |
gory, and other dishes that < lid not seem j
si strange. In the middle of it oil,
however, I was brought, as a great treat,
alargelasin full of curded sour milk.
To have obtaiue 1 fiis in Paris was j
thought a great triumph, and I was told
I might now imagine myself in Rou-'
mania. This I tried to do, though the
sour cream was notveiy inspiring, but I
succeeded to some extent when I looked i
at the Roumanian musicians with th \r
white eloiks and black braiding, and
listened to their wild music. Tliiseffoit
of imagination, however, was still more
easy, and also more agreeable, who 1 I
allowed myself to contemplate thro J
Roumanian women who, in native dre s,
presided at a high counter. Unlke
English bar-girls, they had nothing to
do. They could not even llirt, for the
simple reason that they could only
speak Roumanian. 11l y gane no orders
to the waiters, they had 110 accounts to
keep, but thev sit listh ssly, and occa
sionally talked with one another, while
hundreds of curious people
stared and stared at them. Outside tlio
restaurant, with their noses flattened
against the glass window, parsers peep
ed into have a gratuitous g'auc * at
these stiange things and st.ange foreign
people. I look', d, too, and the mo o 1
looked tho more I became reconciled to
Roumanian musicians, to the shrill
whistle of the fair flute player, to the
Four soup, to the curded milk, and
thought only of the pale face, the large,
almond eyes, the regular features, the
model lips andteeih of these R< urn inian
beauties; teeth, indeed, so perfect and
so sound that they would be tho despair
of tho dental profession. The dress was
white, covered with blue and re I em- j
broidery, the jewelry of the oriental
style, a large besmirring of gold with
many coins, that claslie I at every move
ment, and all this adorning a distin
guished-looking person of statuesque
regulftiity in figure and feature. Cll tho
whole, thereto:e, I preferred the Rou
manian women to tho Roumanian din
ner and the Roumanian music; net but;
that both the latter had their advantages j
and their charms.
A Primitive People.
Goose Greek Island, on tho North
Carolina coast, is one of the most iliac- ;
ccssible, uncome-a -able places to 1 o
found. Its aiea comprises s viral tho us- j
and acres, and its soil is unusually fer
tile and admirably adapted for tho :
laising of cattle. TJie island is sur
rounded for many miles inland by almost ■
impassable swamps; access by water is
had through a narrow, tortuous channel j
only navigable by tho smalle.-t of craft, j
For miles around the water outside of
tho passageway is only a few in -lies in I
depth, and a man in rubber boots o mid
waile dry-shod all day long this worth
less stretch of water, which is too shal
low for hsli and too deep for agriculture.
Hence the islanders had a very retired
and isolated life, pra Really as much
shut off from the world as if they were
in the midst of the Atlantic. There are
but two hundred and fifty houses on th 1
place, mostly cabins, tin ugh there are
several well-to-do planters, who, edu
cated and letined, keep aloof s veially
from the poor and illiterate inhabitants.
The women of the latter class ai e buxom
but with no form to speak of. The girls
are shy and retired, but still they are
daughters of Mother Eve, and in their
way they strive to keep up with the
latest fushions. Their principal dress
is of call on. cut straight, and many of
them wi ar bustles, and as newspapers
are scarce, they employ dried sea grass
bunched in a knot. —[Forest and
Stream.
Valuable Trousers.
The owner of a very valuable pair of
trousers was lately advertised for in the
French papers by the honest finder of
the Fame, who allowed the individual to
whom they belonged filteeu days in
which to come forward. After tli s de
lay he stated ho would consider himself
justified in profiting by this s lange
windfall, which, as ho was in poor cir
cumstances and about to bo married,
would be very serviceable to him.
On the Plat e de Concoid , Paris, he
stated he saw, one evening, a dark ob
ject 011 the ground, which he fbst took
to be a sleeping dog. On o'oser inspec
tion, however, he discovered his mis
take, and picked up tho garment then
in his possession. He took the 1 routers
with him on board a boat which l;o
owue.l, and, on passing them in 10view,
no iced that the buttons s emed differ
ent from ordinary ones. Prompted by
curiosity, he undid the cloth that cov
ert d them and found, inst< ad of wcoden
molds, gold pieces. Carrying his in
vestigations further, he came across
som ■ bank notes stiti hod into the waist
band, with other papers of value. —
[Chamber's Journal.
Tobacco Made By Assassins.
Lntakia, which gives its name to the
famous tobacco, is a small leupoit in
northern Syria, \vhc!i occupies the site
of the ancient Laodioen, but tho poit
has been blocked up with sand, > that
only small, light laden boats can enter.
Behind the town extends a vast plain
to the south beyond Jibleh as far as the
range of hills in which live the Ansa ieh,
the descendants of the sect of as assins
so famous in the time of the Crusades.
This tribe is specially engaged in the
cultnation of Lntakia tibacco. At the
end of Deceml ev the ground is irrigated,
and the sowing t ikes place in January,
ten or twel\e seeds bung placed in a
I single hole made with n stick. As soon
as the spouts appear above the ground
they are coverel with mats, which a-e
ra'sed onlv when the sun is up. The
women and children are employed in
keeping off the birds and in we eding
I out the weaklings. In February the
I sprouts are tianspl inted to another
Held, win re'the earth is piled up well
■ abo.it them; in Mar.-li they a o kept
1 well watered, and in Ap.il tin- harvest
commences. The first leaves foim what
is called the new tobacco, and is smoked
with delight by the fellahs ih 'inselves,
it being stio.,ger than t' at obtained
siil s 'queutly. From April to August
tl e p'anls must bo watered according to
tli • state of tlie weather, and must re
ceive gereviil attention. The real har
voit take* p'a e in August and Hepte u
l:er. The plant is cut, tie leaves io
moved, tied in bundles, and place 1 on
m its to dry ill the sun. In November
this process is finished, the tobac co is
place I in horsehair sacks, and put 011
the market. The merchants subjc ct tl e
lea- e-i to a new drying, and then sort
tlu m out a •cording to color, perfi me,
and £.o eral quality. There are in a ! l
three qualities, of which the fines is
obtainable only from the mora elevated
plantations of the Ausarielis.
BURMESE OIL WELLS.
Primitive and Dangerous Method of
Securing Petroleum.
Dr. Noetling, of tho Indian Geologi
cal Survey, givt san interest'ng de scrip
tion of the Bmmese me'rhod of digging
the wells. As scoti as a native lifte
made up his miud where he is going to
have a new well, the workmen, usually
four in number, begin to dig a squ ire
shaft, the' sides of which meosuie be
tween 1 feet and 4fet (5 inches. Over
tliis pit a cross-1 ea n, sapp rted on
stanchions en eitli r side, is placed, in
the centre of which is a small wooden
drum or cylinder, which, with its axis,
is made of a single piet o of wood, the
latter running en coaise, fork-shaped
supports. The leither rope used in
hauling up the oil j a-'sesoiei'thc drum,
aud on it is fi s ened the workman who
is going to be lowered down, as well i s
the common eartheuwora pot in which
t e oil is drawn up. If possible, the
well so placed that tlm men or women
drawing the rope walk down an incline
pi eie almg the slope of a hill. The
to >ls e nploye d in diggicg are quite
pii'iiitivo, and can only be used in S'>ft
st atu. Timber is usedt) support, the
walls of the shaft, and !h 1 latter is lined
with wood. This woo 'en wall lias cou
sid j able? strength, but it hr.s to be
carefully watched lest it should give
way.
'1 lie workmen a o lowered in an in
genious way. The man sits on two
slings fo mod < f strong rope, running
between his legs and knotted over his
loft tli ulder. To prevent sliding, a
thin rope runs down from tin kn t.
at r. ss the breastl, i nderneath the light
shoulder to the 1 a k, where it s fastned
to the rope forming the slings. As aon 1
rope fertile fame purpose; is frsbmed
around the hips. On aceor.nt cf llie
exph sive gas filling the shaft no light
can be taken down; the workman, there
fore, tie* up his eyes previously to de
scendiug so as to enable him to toe
during the lime he is in the well, other
wise it would take him longer to acoas
tom his eyes to the dorkne s than be is
able to stay down, on account of tho gas,
which re ulors breathing difficult. The
data obtained by Dr. Noetling ns to
the time occupied in tli; ascent and do
sceiit, anil tho period during which the
lal oror stops b 'low,show that not 25 per
e e:it, of tho total work ng time is really
seen in extracting 11 e oil. Two liuti
elred and ninety s n onds s tho longest
time any man, ho.vever s iong, can re
main below without lec aning unoon-
S'ious, while in some 1:e can rem.ain
0 ily sixty se onds. With increasing
depths the difficulties in obt lining tho
oil after tho Burmese motliods heroine
insup rablo. Home tho limit is 310
fee', and the wo kers object to more
than 250 foot. The drawing up of tho
01 is as primitive as everything ebe.
The rope is fast ned re urnl the neck of
tlie ball-shaped pot,and,l einglowereel,is
allowed to fill ly s liking in the oil be
low. Tho oil thus ra.'s el s poured into
another pot of the same shape, but
much larger, anl twelve of these are
jacked on each country < art.
A STEAMER'S LARDER.
What Its Passengers Eat in Crossing
The; Atlantic.
Oe'e an st 'aniens are; now engaging the
attention of tho whole civilized world
with their quick pussages from shore to
shore, anel to hear of records being
broken anel the time ne cassary to cross
the; vast expanse of water, tho Atlantic
o(G:m, being shortened, has censed to
I b ; considered phenoim-nal, so quick is
i the; human mind to ace us.oni itself to
j such matters.
| But people generally, in commenting
, upon these I o.its, talk about the gioat
he'iiel work displayed by the; captain and
engineers and the other officers, and of
th-> staunchness of the vessel and the
reliability of her engines, but teom to
forget that the; stewart is also an iuipor
tant factor of a ship's make-up While
others are taking <;nie of tho outer
things lie; must provide for the; inn r
; man, and win u the voyagers sit down to
a m i al on shipboard they selelom think
! e f ilie amount of forethought exhibited
i before leaving tlie slio: e ne c.'ssary to pro
vide'for the dinner tiny are enjoying
ami at which their palate i arc tickled
with a'.l the delicacies they would have
i at home.
The steward is sorely puzzled time
and again to know how to provide, liav
: ing so many different t: s es to provide
' for. Victor Be-try, of Phi alelpfii i, his
| recently returned from a trip abroa 1,
and being anxious to form some idea of
I the amount of supplies used on sliip
' board, secured tlie list print d below.
Hie steamer for which the; supplies were
■ purchased was the Umbria, and were
I for her return \oyage from Liverpool to
New York. Tl ey we re purcl ae 1 for
: 630 passengers, and for an eight days'
j voyage, which was completed, by the
way, in six days and twelve hours. The
I following is the list:
Eleven thousand five hundred pounds
I fresh baef, GOO poi nds coined beef,
4,500 pounds mutton, 620 pounds coined
tongue, 766 pounds lamb, 250 pounds
veal, 200 pounds pork, 150 pounds veni
son, 2,000 pounds fresh fish, 12,000 eggs,
60 boxe s dried fish, 500 fowls, 240
spring chicken, 1,600 pounds turkey(Bo),
64 ge 'so, 130 ducks, 520 grouse, 300
Boideaux pige ns, 640 pounds coffee,
130 pouuds tea, 2,400 pounds sugar,
1,800 pounils hum, 600 pounds bacon,
425 pounds clie ;se, 23 kox< s oranges, 18
boxes lemons, 20 b xo< apple's (dess'it),
21 boxes apples (co tking), 131 tins fancy
biscuits, 35 tins water biscuit, 60
tin pate do foio gras and e avian;,
1200 bottle;s pickles and sauce, 120
| liottle;s salr.d oil, 110 jars jams and
' jellies, 750 pounds of dried fruit, 26
] barrels flour, 500 pounds butter, 2.000
i quarts of milk, 7 tons potatoes, 700
: quarts fresh fruit, 30 boxes pears, 2,594
botblee ale; and porter, 2,780 b ittlcs
j mineral water, 559 bottles wine, 247 bot
j ties spirits.—[Philadelphia Telegraph,
Mrs. Mackay's Parrot.
Mrs. M-erkav, the "Bonanza Queen,"
has, writes the London correspondent of
the Mnn die s or Courier, pi ovided dur
ing her absence, the public of London
with a gratuitous entcrtainn ent ef a
most diverting nature. At, her open
window in Bi ckiugham Palace Ga'e is
u wonderful green parrot, which attracts
hundieds of people eve y d iy to hear
liim talk. Tlie crowd on Sunday was so
gre.it that tho polio 'man hud to request
tin; people to ' move on." "Move on,"
i echoes tlie; parrot, to the; intense delight
j of the mob. "Polly, what is the clock?"
|aks a num. The parrot, pr. t nd'ngto
I look at the clock, cries out in answer:
; "Half-pas; five'," and he was right. I
i asked him how liis misses was. "Com
ing ov.-r s ion, all right," replied tlie;
marvelous bird. "How old are you, j
1 Polly?" "Don't know; bow old are
j your" was tho answer, which, of course,
i provoked great merriment, in which the
parrot joined. Asked what day of the'
week it was, the wretch bopped ah ut
screaming, "Sunday. Go to prayers.
Ora pro nobis. " Aud fell into a paroxysm
of laughter, which was quite contagious.
You may Hing of too beauty of springtime
fliat glow* on the check of the young.
Bat I siug of u beauty that's rarer
Thau any of which you havo snug.
The beauty that's awn in the faces
Of women whoso summer is o'er,
Tho autumn-like beauty that charms us
Far more t ban tho beauty of yore,
but this boauty is soon too rarely. The faces
of most women lose the beauty of youth too
toon. Female disorders are like frosta which
como ioalii the flowers which betoken good
health, Without which there can ho no rail
beauty. If our American women would forti
i fy themselves against the approach of the ter
; rlble disorders so prevalent among them, by
usi g Br. Pierce's Favorite Prescription; their
gov-eilooks would bj retained to a "sweet old
ate.'' Thi; remedy is a i guaranteed cure for aH
the distressing weaknesses and derangements
peculiar to women.
I)r. Pierce a Pollotts, one a dose. Cure head
ache. constipation and indigestion.
—Always take the part of an absent person
who is censured in company, so far as truth
and propriety will allow.
A ripniiiK Hens*
Of health and strength renewed and of eas* 1
and comfort follows the übo of Syrup of Figs, I
as it acts In harmony with nature to effeotual
ly cleanse the system when oostlvo or bilious. !
For sale la 50c. and $1 bottled by ail leading
druggists.
! -—Never think the worso of another on ae-
J count of his differing with you in politics or
I religious opinions.
Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers.
Mild, equable climat .certain and abundant
erops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock count
try in t'lo world. Full Information free. Ad-
Iress Oregon Im'igrat'u Board, Portland. Ore.
I —Never ridicule sacred things, or what oth
ers may esteem to be such, howover absurd they
appear to be.
None equal " Tansill's Punch " 50. Ci ar.
—Never d sputo with a man more than sev
enty yours of a e, nor a woman, young or old,
nor an enthusiast.
if afflicted willi MJiii •>•; uo Or Isaac Thoinp
ion's Eye W alur- Druggist* mil •*; per bottle
—Never court the favor of tho rioh by flatter
( ing either their vanities or vices.
Interested People.
Advertising a patent medicine in the peculiar
way in which the proprietor of Kemp's Balsam
for Doughs and Colds does.it Is indeed won
derful. He authorizes all druggists to give
those who call for it a sample bottle Free, that
, they may try it 1 eforo purchasing. The Large
j Bottles are 50c. and sl. We certainly would
j advise a trial. It may save you from con
sumption.
i —Never resent a supposed injury till you
know tho views and motives of the author of
it.
Millions of women uso Dobbins's Electric
Soap daily, ami say it is the best ami cheapest.
If tney lira right, yon ou ht to two it. If
wrong, one. (rial only will show you. Buy a bar
of your groeer aud try it next Monday.
—Bay ns littlo as possible of yoursolf and j
those who are near to you. U49.
Rheumatism
According to recent Investigations la caused by exy
cesslve lactic ncld In the blood. This acid attack*
the fibrous tissues, particularly In the Joints, and
causes tho local manifestations of the disease, pains
i aud aches in tho back and shouldors, and In tho
i joints at tho knees, ankles, hips aud wrists. Thou
sands of pooplo havo found iu Hood's SarsaparlUa
a positive and permanent euro for rheumatism.
This medicine, by Its purifying and vltullslng ac
tion, neutralizes tho acidity of tlio blood, aud also
strengthens tho whole body.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only
by C. I. HOOD A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Muss.
100 Doses One Dollar
ni nirno '- '<■ <<>"< 1 kvsionsu
SOLDIERS
IfcC'cnuick A Sous. Washington, D.O. A Cincinnati. O
lilCADiilTinil about ARKANSAS. Good
INrUnmA I lands, low prices, easy terms,
mild climate, variety ol crops. Maps and circulars
ree. THOf. EH SEA, I.iuul toin'r,
l.illlo Rock, Arkuiittnn.
I Want a Boy and Girl li:""
: Good Pay. It. K. TELLER, l iuulillu, .\. N .
THE CATARRH
RE B ME DY
CHlLDßiflfevSil#!
BUFF RHINO FROM gL
COLDinHEAD W y
SNUFFLES
CATARRH. HAY-FEYE^
A particle Is nppli"d into oacli nostril and is agrcea I
bio. Price fiiictx. ut drugKixts; by mail, registered, i
Met*. EI.V DUOS . Wair n siivh. N.-wVoiK.
rlw^ e without knowledges the
-'iStZ sister of Folly. MPOLtQ is a. solid,
cake of scouring soap-Try a cake
Cheap comfort can be secured by the small investment in one
cake of SAPOLIO when you have a house or a kitchen to clean.
From the paint to the pots and pans and including the windows
and floors, it is the very best labor-saving soap which can be used
for scouring and cleaning.
Deafnoss C'nn't be Cured
By local applications, as thoy cainot reach
toe uiseaseu portion or tho ear. There Is only
, one way to cure Deafness, and that is by con
stitutional remedies. Deafness is caused -by
I an in named condition of the mucous lining of
the Eustachian Tube. When this tub • gets in
llamed you have a rumbling sound or imper
fect hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless tho inflam
mation can ho taken out ami this tubeiestored
toils normal condition, hearing will be <!•-
i stroyed forever; nine cases out of tin are
caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an in
flamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred l> liars for any
case of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that wo !
cannot cure by taking Hull's Catarrh Cure,
bend forcir. ula s, tree.
F. J. CHKNHV CO., Toledo, o.
fly- .Sold by Druggists, 76c.
—Never affect to be witty, or je. t so as to
wound the feelings of another.
I o|f
DIRECTIONS WITH EAC H BOTTLE,^
r OR BURNS and SCALDS, j
A Haby 1 turned.
Aastud, Minn., Kept. 25,1888.
Our baby—lJ (yi an old burnt d her hand
•n a hot stove and we put Bt. Jacobs Oil on it.
It took the pit In ull out, at once; alter putting
Hon 2 or 3 tiiues it was nil cured up.
C. P. STAVE ami Family.
AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS.
THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO., Baltimore. Md.
' -j
BEST HOLIDAY CIFT
for Pastor, Parent, Ten rlirr, Child, Friend.
3000 more Words mid nearly
-000 more Engravings than
any other American l>iet ionary.
It is un invaluable companion in every School
and at every Fireside.
GET THE BEST.
Sold by all Booksellers. Illustrated Pamphlet
with specimen pages, etc., sent free.
G. &C. MERRIAM & CO., I'ub'rs,Springfield, Mass. ,
JOHNI F. STRATTON & SON,
Importors of all kinds of
Montli llnrmoiiicnis,
I 43 A 4ii Walker Sit,, New Vork,
I GRATEFUL-COMFORTING;.
ETPS'S COCOA
BREAKFAST.
"By a thorough kniwlodgo of the natural laws
whlea govern tha operations <>f digestion and nutrl
11* .it, and >v a .-.ir-t'ui a-.t.li -a' lon i tie- tin.- pr-.p.-r
--tles of well-selected CucoMr. Kpps has provided
our breakfast tables widi a delicately flavoured bev
erage which mav save us many heavy doctors nt is.
It Is by the Judicious use of such articles i diet
tlmt a constitution may be gradually nullt up nut i •.
strong enough to resist every tendency to di-t a-j
Hundreds of subtle maladies are flouting around i. j
ready to attack wherever there Is a weak point.
We inav escape many a fatal shaft by keeping our
selves well fortified with pure blood and a properly
nourished frame."—' "Ciril Sfrricr
Made simply with boiling water or mi' l j
only In half-P mud tin .by Grocer*, biboUed tltu-- |
J \ II KS KPPS iV CO.. Ho nuvjpatllio che nUu, j
LONDON, ENGLAND.
Pennsylvania Agricultural Worts, Yort, Fa.
Farnuhar's Standard Koglncs and Saw Kill v.
j Addreio A. B. FAUQCIUIi ASOS.Tork, Pa.
The Latest -:- Craze I
J: UNCLE SAM -
THE MYSTERY.
'" ' ll' '^' '
Whoever gives the true scientific explanation of this phenomenon will bo a public benefactor
10 Cents. 1 r ] 10 Cents.
WANTED-Tho Biggrst Blower in the Country.
We have a letter of acknowledgment on this marvelous scientific toy from tho Exocutiv
Mansion, Washington, D. 0.
tfSTMAILED TO ANY vDDHESH ON RECEIPT OF 15 CENTB. Liberal clis. *♦<
j the trade. PARAGON CO., I Vaml e water Street, New York <
fi wmcit seen
N BEFHKSI|
-V. \l\ NC RIFLE ■!
, -• , 100-pacc I •eacripttve Catalogue. Guns, Rules,
Revolvers, l'lsiiilit! Tackle, bicycles. Snorting Goods, Ac.
JULI> P. LOVJiLE AItMS CO.. Boston, Al^a
PENSIONS gfWI
h .lOM I'll ||. 11 IN TK ft, ATTORNEY,
\\ A >ll I M.TON. 1. C.
OPIUM K
vl iwaffl J. J.. STEPHENS, Lebanon,o
RASE MlV^H%X3r'
SENT FREE (3c.) stamp, by addressing,
Theodore Holland, '*• 1 1 I 3d, I'liilu.Pu,
HC. Book-keeping, business Forma,
Utflil penmanship. Arithmetic, Short-hand, etc.,
FRAZER g^M
BE9T IM THK WORLD U IlLAtlb
tM~ Get the Uenuiaa Bold Brer ywhare.
JONES
W? PAYS THE FREIGHT.
j a j T " e ° \^ t * f?i oari u e *'
1 heam and P©ui Bo* for
rtsff®iPft*sepi il |
ri Wii JONES U OF ' BINGHAMTON.
1 111 NL* IIA HI TO N. N. Y.
Ml
i -i Waterproof
NORTHERN PACIFIC.
II LOW PRICE RAILROAD LANDS &
FREE Government LANDS.
HI I 1.1.1 ON S OF AC it ESi in Minnesota, North
Dakota, MonUina, Idaho, Washington and Oregon,
(.run L*nß publications with maps descrlblngthg
Obßu run I.chl Agricultural, Grazing aud Tim
ber J.ands now open to Settlers. Scut free. Address
CHAS. B. LAMBORN, MSr
( Ir,THL WONDERFUL If
LUBURGA C H Al
\a k
j? N hmj?. e \2
jg.ij f .r .in dnli,ry. r"iiui£' a
tUUL'KU MW."cO.[l'lSjirSa. gd'KiliL'j^
OJfMS ! !"'l WHISKEY HAB
*LjrJ y. 8 fftsi! ITS cured at liome with
r| I 1111 °>d jmln. Hook of pur.
B 8 BWi Uculara rem FREE.
aTABB- Ofllca 66)tf St!
AFTER ALL OTHERS FAIL CONSULT
OR. LOBB
.T2!l North Fifteenth St., Philadelphia, Pa., for
j tlio treatment of Blood Poisons, Sklu Eruptions.
Nervous Complaints, liright's Disease, Strictures,
} impotence and kindred diseases, no matter of how
long standing or from what cause originating
QifTeH days' medicines furnished by mall rncr
IT i: .I.k ..1. SPEC I \ I, I) i-, .. „.-h. Mitt.
jgBVBKKK&p. J| , T presence and fully en
or-81" specific for tbe certain cure
Tin a r*n • d nTi ww ° f thls disease.
APjjtfv canaeStriewrs. Amsterdam', N. y!
£d Itf d only by th* We have sold Hlg CI for
Ohio. D - It. DYOHE A CO..