A WOMAN'S THOUGHTS ON MEN. liarbura Thorne Describes a Few Types of the < inn us Homo that She Has Encoun tered. O comprehensive USB a HU^ioct as this W fSSf § can 110 1 be thor & J oughly written up iu two or three aw IV r) i wr^e liew views iti flr/it oacl ! f e V~r if I O ftn 3 Fw IMI As something of rj /ii \ an °fl se i *° th® rMH essays upon the 71 n \ typical mother-in - ffi# 1 R law,spinster, etc., p l l J i I will submit Ju j J | merely a cata -I I y l°£ ue of the 1 ' K'j - names of the few j I j types of men that R j'KI h ftVe seen, each . would furnish f, 7[ amusing material 1 >!■ 1 - for a short essay. I am safe from the fear of offending any of my masculine readers, since, of course, no resemblance could exist be tween auy of them and the unpoetic, unpleasant ones among these types. There is the elderly widower, who is inconsolable for tho loss of his first companion, though patiently looking about for his second one. Tho man with a homely wife who is desperately jealous of her. The homely man whose pretty wife is desperately jealous of him. The deeply scientific man, who re gards all women as poor, perishing packages of protoplasm. This person can analyze all the poetry out of June moonlight, or tho perfume and senti ment out of white roses. The playful and portly individual who always iusists upon telling you a little story that is a trifle "broad' "you know, ha, ha." This party is apt to grow familiar upon brief acquaintance, unless you freeze him by briefest mon osyllables ; yet, after ali, he is a harm less creature, generally extremely tire some. Then we have all seen the sharp (ex tremely sharp) man, with inquisitive nose and little ferret eyes. Ho is confident that he can see through any thing and anybody at a mere glance. "His wife knows better than to try to fool him, she does." He watches over his housekeeping, knows how many papers of pins will last an average fami ly through the year, and never permits the h irt'il gil l to use two yeast cakes in making the bread when ono and a half will do as well. Then there is the young man who is so dreadfully wicked (or who wishes to mako you believe that lie is) that he spends all of his leisure trying to think of some dreadful sin that he has not yot committed in order that he may rush right away and perpetrate it. This desperate youth has "no faith in woman, not tho least." Quite a common type is the cool headed, philosophical genus, who marries a mock, rustic maiden with the intention of molding her into an ideal wife. An imposing typo is tho extremely moral and financially sound puritunical individual, whoso very broadcloth would quiver with righteous horror if he was obliged to talk un hour with a frivolous female. This kind of a man would look at yon, should you say "Good morning" to him in a careless, light-hearted way, as though you were intriguing to capture him for some ter rible purpose. He is always "on guard." Then there is the neglected genus, with pantaloons frayed at the bottoms, whose wife does not appreciate him at all,-but who still loves her entirely out of the fullness of his big, chivalrous heart, as he takes pains to tell you, for you might become hopelessly interest ed in him otherwise, aud he only seeks in yon n kind of intellectual companion, which really means that he wants the right to bore you with his stupid liter ary effusions, and, should his wifo he an invalid, by long accounts of lier dif ferent ailments. This creature is one of the most naively selfish of beings; ho ends his acquaintance with you by com promising you in the oyos of tho ono man in all the world for whose good opinion you caro most, and finally quar rels with you because you do not fol low his advice in choosing your friends. Another variety, about as unpleasant as the ono lirst described, is the old man, tliu very old man with grown-up children, who talks continually about "my son John and my darter Jane." Ho is a widower, and extremely mod est in his ambition, only desiring a wifo who shall he young, good-looking, "saving," and a good nurse, for he is laid up with rheumatism two-thirds of the time; aud she must have a snug little "property" iu lier own right, so that son John and "darter" Jane may not forbid the banns. This pleasing mass of egotistical imbecility ought to he confined iu an asylum for elderly idiots. Then wo have seen the matter-of fact, quiet man, who is apt, upon occa sion, to surpriso von by giving evi dence of latent chivalrousness and fine ness of sentiment,. His opposite type is often seen—tlio picturesque and posing man, who iH extremely coarse and selfish; the man who is liked bet ter by women than by men, the man who is a great favorite with men; tho pale, sad looking young man, who cap tivates the fancy by his mysterious silence. When you break through the crust of melancholy reserve, you find that his mental faculties are engaged a large part of the time iu wrestling with the problems of what he shall have for his dinner, the residue of his leisure being employed in first obtain ing the price of liis dinner. Men as fictionists. The romantic liar, with entertain ing story of his adventure. Tho malicious liar. Men as gossips. The superannuated masher, with bahl plate like polished gourd, and brains as trifling as its rattling seeds. He stands at street corners and leers at feminine passers-by. These are a low of tlio more common types of masculinity. To look at the brighter portions of this picture is far pleasanter for one who would fain idealize and revere, rather than de tract from or sneer at. Tliero is one character very seldom met with and not to ho forgotten even when it is found—tho typical Ameri can man. I say MAN advisedly, be cause the typical American man is al ways a gentleman also. If cultured in the world's ways and versed in bookish lore, still will a certain breezy strength, a wholesome good sense, and fine humor, keep him from a'l affccta . tjou or too great leaning toward the sybaritic side of life. If only a back woodsman, unschooled by art, yet will nature have taught him her own har monious and calm propriety of aspect. She will have given him a spirit of true cliivalrousness toward women, a sense of quiet self-respect, anil a native deli cacy and tact which, if one is to judge by living examples, no court has yet been able to impart. Yet to have been born in this country can never make a man tho typical American, nor yet to have descended from those voyagers in tho Mayflower. The typical American is a rare creature. It is hard to describe him, but you al ways know him when you see him. In the meantime let us strive to be just to the average human being, not yet developed up to the heroic charac ter of the poet's dream, 'tis true, yet with much more of nobility about him than circumstances ever bring out. Let us even (allegoricallv speaking) trick him out with the high-lieeled boots and tall hat, if necessary, "Re to liia faults a little blind," believe w hat we can, and hope for tho rest.—Bar bara Thome, in Chicago Ledger. WISE AND UNWISE. JOHN —Elvira, do you love me, or is it my money? Elvira—John, I love you both. WHEN a dude is near-sighteilf and half-witted he gets on very well with half an eye-glass. THE unmarried females of the coun try will be much interested in the work of the Patrons of Husbandry. THE "Forty-niners" of California were Pan-Americans, though some pan'd out better than others. LENA (from New York City)— And you are going to marry, Ella? Ella —Yes, I thought I would for a while. "MUCILAGE trust been formed," said Jags to Cags. "Somebody's going to get stuck," was the prediction that followed. THEIIE is a rumor that the senior class at Harvard University is deterio rating, aud the election of a negro as class orator seems to give color to it. FRIEND —Is Jennie's husband a good provider V Mother-in-law lmmense! They've been married only about five years and they have a whole houseful of children. "WHY," said the husband, "do you wear the hair of another woman 011 your head?" "Why," retorted his better half, "do you wear the skin of another calf 011 your hands ?" MRS. WATTS Mother's birthday comes next week, and I want to make her a present. What would you sug gest? Mr. Watts—lf I had my way I'd give her a uice, heavy tombstone. DIGGINS —Do you see that portly man over there by the door? Wiggins —Yes; tine-looking man. Diggins—He takes life easily. Wiggins—Looks as if he did. Diggins—He does; he's a doctor. GENIAL host—Patlirick, me bliov, you've had quite enough to dlirink. Take me advice; when ye get to the top of the street ye'll see two cabs; take the first, because, begorra, there's only one. MISTRESS lt's singular we didn't catch any mice last night. Did you set the trap, Bridget? Bridget—l did, mum. I set it forniust the cheese, and thin covered it over wid an old hat so that the mice couldn't see it. AGENT— Mr. Money much, can I sell you a phonograph, the greatest inven tion of the ago ? The machine will guar antee to talk 200 words per minute, aud Mr. Moneymucli—Thank you, sir, but I don't need it. The sowing circle meets twice per week at our house. A NICE plaything for children: Mrs. Bandbox—Yon said tho train I should take leaves at 10:30, didn't von ? Ticket Agent—Yes, madam; and ! think I've told you that about ten times already. "Yes, I know you have, but my little boy says he likes to hear you talk." FOND father Harry, you have been waiting on Miss Watson for over a year. Why don't you marry her? Harry- She isn't emotional enough. Fond father—Great Scott, boy, what do you want with an emotional woman? The crown of my head is as bare as a bil liard ball. Your mother was an emo tional woman. PARISHIONER —Deacon, I doan't hub much faith in dat new minister wot yo' got fo'our church from down Richmond; he has dun prayed fo' rain for fo' weeks and not a drap has felled yet. Deacon —Yes, Bre'r Willy urns, but it hab rained pow'ful hard at Richmond, an 1 I guess de Lawd hab dun fo'gotton dat de minister hab changed his place ob residence. NOT INSURED. The moon Iwaniß calmly sifted down Upon two tender things— Matilda Murtlia Robinson And William Henry Rings. Tho youth was smitten by her charms And closer to her leant, And having dared to kiss her, criod, "It was an accident!" "For shame young maul" exclaimed tho maid, "Withold your compliments, For well you know I'm not insured Against these accidents!" —Hap sand Mishaps. A SIGN OF CIVILIZATION. •J _ r "Bedad, I must be gettin' among friends. Oi've been walkin' the in toire mornin' an' that's the furst sign of civilization Oi've met wid." HAD TWO GRADES. Barber—"Shave, sir?" "Yes, of course." "Five or ten A MINNEAPOLIS man claims to have invented a motor - which will do all kinds of kitchen work. It is under stood to have no cousins, , A ROUMANIAN DINNER. Strange Food, Wild Music and Beau tiful Women. The Roumanian food is as st: ange as the meloJies, writes a Paris correspond ent of the Philadelphia Telegraph. When, for instance, at the invitation of several distinguish d Roumanians, I dined at the Roumanian restaurant built in the exhibition, I was first offciod, as an appetizer, a ghisiof tzuiea. This is an alcohol made from plums. It is lik the Hungarian slivo -lie, but is loss alco holic, and has not so strong a medicinal flavor. Served in Miia'.l, rough litt o , glass bottles, eonta'ning about two liquor glasses full, 3 011 are supposed to drink from t':G bottle ai d tn empty the bottle. If a glrss is given, this is a 0011- oassion to IVts'on prejudices. After having duly firtified myself with this strange but potent decoction, I was in- ' trodnced to the mysteri< a of a Rouman ian soup. This was made with wa er in which had l.een steoj ed for several days the bran of India i co'ii. When the I bran had fermented ai d the \\a or l j come thoi oughly 10.11, the liquid was i drawn oft* and used to stew lamb. Til's acid lamb soup is, it nppe us, very pop- 1 ular in the East. It is certainly refresh ing. I preferred, however, the viirall e, or light natural white wine, wliic'.i leaves a perfumed flavor in the mouth, tin ugh it is such an ordinary wine that in Rou mania it sells for 5 to G cents the litre. Then we had some excellent slowed chicken with paprika siiuoe, as in Hun- | gory, and other dishes that < lid not seem j si strange. In the middle of it oil, however, I was brought, as a great treat, alargelasin full of curded sour milk. To have obtaiue 1 fiis in Paris was j thought a great triumph, and I was told I might now imagine myself in Rou-' mania. This I tried to do, though the sour cream was notveiy inspiring, but I succeeded to some extent when I looked i at the Roumanian musicians with th \r white eloiks and black braiding, and listened to their wild music. Tliiseffoit of imagination, however, was still more easy, and also more agreeable, who 1 I allowed myself to contemplate thro J Roumanian women who, in native dre s, presided at a high counter. Unlke English bar-girls, they had nothing to do. They could not even llirt, for the simple reason that they could only speak Roumanian. 11l y gane no orders to the waiters, they had 110 accounts to keep, but thev sit listh ssly, and occa sionally talked with one another, while hundreds of curious people stared and stared at them. Outside tlio restaurant, with their noses flattened against the glass window, parsers peep ed into have a gratuitous g'auc * at these stiange things and st.ange foreign people. I look', d, too, and the mo o 1 looked tho more I became reconciled to Roumanian musicians, to the shrill whistle of the fair flute player, to the Four soup, to the curded milk, and thought only of the pale face, the large, almond eyes, the regular features, the model lips andteeih of these R< urn inian beauties; teeth, indeed, so perfect and so sound that they would be tho despair of tho dental profession. The dress was white, covered with blue and re I em- j broidery, the jewelry of the oriental style, a large besmirring of gold with many coins, that claslie I at every move ment, and all this adorning a distin guished-looking person of statuesque regulftiity in figure and feature. Cll tho whole, thereto:e, I preferred the Rou manian women to tho Roumanian din ner and the Roumanian music; net but; that both the latter had their advantages j and their charms. A Primitive People. Goose Greek Island, on tho North Carolina coast, is one of the most iliac- ; ccssible, uncome-a -able places to 1 o found. Its aiea comprises s viral tho us- j and acres, and its soil is unusually fer tile and admirably adapted for tho : laising of cattle. TJie island is sur rounded for many miles inland by almost ■ impassable swamps; access by water is had through a narrow, tortuous channel j only navigable by tho smalle.-t of craft, j For miles around the water outside of tho passageway is only a few in -lies in I depth, and a man in rubber boots o mid waile dry-shod all day long this worth less stretch of water, which is too shal low for hsli and too deep for agriculture. Hence the islanders had a very retired and isolated life, pra Really as much shut off from the world as if they were in the midst of the Atlantic. There are but two hundred and fifty houses on th 1 place, mostly cabins, tin ugh there are several well-to-do planters, who, edu cated and letined, keep aloof s veially from the poor and illiterate inhabitants. The women of the latter class ai e buxom but with no form to speak of. The girls are shy and retired, but still they are daughters of Mother Eve, and in their way they strive to keep up with the latest fushions. Their principal dress is of call on. cut straight, and many of them wi ar bustles, and as newspapers are scarce, they employ dried sea grass bunched in a knot. —[Forest and Stream. Valuable Trousers. The owner of a very valuable pair of trousers was lately advertised for in the French papers by the honest finder of the Fame, who allowed the individual to whom they belonged filteeu days in which to come forward. After tli s de lay he stated ho would consider himself justified in profiting by this s lange windfall, which, as ho was in poor cir cumstances and about to bo married, would be very serviceable to him. On the Plat e de Concoid , Paris, he stated he saw, one evening, a dark ob ject 011 the ground, which he fbst took to be a sleeping dog. On o'oser inspec tion, however, he discovered his mis take, and picked up tho garment then in his possession. He took the 1 routers with him on board a boat which l;o owue.l, and, on passing them in 10view, no iced that the buttons s emed differ ent from ordinary ones. Prompted by curiosity, he undid the cloth that cov ert d them and found, inst< ad of wcoden molds, gold pieces. Carrying his in vestigations further, he came across som ■ bank notes stiti hod into the waist band, with other papers of value. — [Chamber's Journal. Tobacco Made By Assassins. Lntakia, which gives its name to the famous tobacco, is a small leupoit in northern Syria, \vhc!i occupies the site of the ancient Laodioen, but tho poit has been blocked up with sand, > that only small, light laden boats can enter. Behind the town extends a vast plain to the south beyond Jibleh as far as the range of hills in which live the Ansa ieh, the descendants of the sect of as assins so famous in the time of the Crusades. This tribe is specially engaged in the cultnation of Lntakia tibacco. At the end of Deceml ev the ground is irrigated, and the sowing t ikes place in January, ten or twel\e seeds bung placed in a I single hole made with n stick. As soon as the spouts appear above the ground they are coverel with mats, which a-e ra'sed onlv when the sun is up. The women and children are employed in keeping off the birds and in we eding I out the weaklings. In February the I sprouts are tianspl inted to another Held, win re'the earth is piled up well ■ abo.it them; in Mar.-li they a o kept 1 well watered, and in Ap.il tin- harvest commences. The first leaves foim what is called the new tobacco, and is smoked with delight by the fellahs ih 'inselves, it being stio.,ger than t' at obtained siil s 'queutly. From April to August tl e p'anls must bo watered according to tli • state of tlie weather, and must re ceive gereviil attention. The real har voit take* p'a e in August and Hepte u l:er. The plant is cut, tie leaves io moved, tied in bundles, and place 1 on m its to dry ill the sun. In November this process is finished, the tobac co is place I in horsehair sacks, and put 011 the market. The merchants subjc ct tl e lea- e-i to a new drying, and then sort tlu m out a •cording to color, perfi me, and £.o eral quality. There are in a ! l three qualities, of which the fines is obtainable only from the mora elevated plantations of the Ausarielis. BURMESE OIL WELLS. Primitive and Dangerous Method of Securing Petroleum. Dr. Noetling, of tho Indian Geologi cal Survey, givt san interest'ng de scrip tion of the Bmmese me'rhod of digging the wells. As scoti as a native lifte made up his miud where he is going to have a new well, the workmen, usually four in number, begin to dig a squ ire shaft, the' sides of which meosuie be tween 1 feet and 4fet (5 inches. Over tliis pit a cross-1 ea n, sapp rted on stanchions en eitli r side, is placed, in the centre of which is a small wooden drum or cylinder, which, with its axis, is made of a single piet o of wood, the latter running en coaise, fork-shaped supports. The leither rope used in hauling up the oil j a-'sesoiei'thc drum, aud on it is fi s ened the workman who is going to be lowered down, as well i s the common eartheuwora pot in which t e oil is drawn up. If possible, the well so placed that tlm men or women drawing the rope walk down an incline pi eie almg the slope of a hill. The to >ls e nploye d in diggicg are quite pii'iiitivo, and can only be used in S'>ft st atu. Timber is usedt) support, the walls of the shaft, and !h 1 latter is lined with wood. This woo 'en wall lias cou sid j able? strength, but it hr.s to be carefully watched lest it should give way. '1 lie workmen a o lowered in an in genious way. The man sits on two slings fo mod < f strong rope, running between his legs and knotted over his loft tli ulder. To prevent sliding, a thin rope runs down from tin kn t. at r. ss the breastl, i nderneath the light shoulder to the 1 a k, where it s fastned to the rope forming the slings. As aon 1 rope fertile fame purpose; is frsbmed around the hips. On aceor.nt cf llie exph sive gas filling the shaft no light can be taken down; the workman, there fore, tie* up his eyes previously to de scendiug so as to enable him to toe during the lime he is in the well, other wise it would take him longer to acoas tom his eyes to the dorkne s than be is able to stay down, on account of tho gas, which re ulors breathing difficult. The data obtained by Dr. Noetling ns to the time occupied in tli; ascent and do sceiit, anil tho period during which the lal oror stops b 'low,show that not 25 per e e:it, of tho total work ng time is really seen in extracting 11 e oil. Two liuti elred and ninety s n onds s tho longest time any man, ho.vever s iong, can re main below without lec aning unoon- S'ious, while in some 1:e can rem.ain 0 ily sixty se onds. With increasing depths the difficulties in obt lining tho oil after tho Burmese motliods heroine insup rablo. Home tho limit is 310 fee', and the wo kers object to more than 250 foot. The drawing up of tho 01 is as primitive as everything ebe. The rope is fast ned re urnl the neck of tlie ball-shaped pot,and,l einglowereel,is allowed to fill ly s liking in the oil be low. Tho oil thus ra.'s el s poured into another pot of the same shape, but much larger, anl twelve of these are jacked on each country < art. A STEAMER'S LARDER. What Its Passengers Eat in Crossing The; Atlantic. Oe'e an st 'aniens are; now engaging the attention of tho whole civilized world with their quick pussages from shore to shore, anel to hear of records being broken anel the time ne cassary to cross the; vast expanse of water, tho Atlantic o(G:m, being shortened, has censed to I b ; considered phenoim-nal, so quick is i the; human mind to ace us.oni itself to j such matters. | But people generally, in commenting , upon these I o.its, talk about the gioat he'iiel work displayed by the; captain and engineers and the other officers, and of th-> staunchness of the vessel and the reliability of her engines, but teom to forget that the; stewart is also an iuipor tant factor of a ship's make-up While others are taking <;nie of tho outer things lie; must provide for the; inn r ; man, and win u the voyagers sit down to a m i al on shipboard they selelom think ! e f ilie amount of forethought exhibited i before leaving tlie slio: e ne c.'ssary to pro vide'for the dinner tiny are enjoying ami at which their palate i arc tickled with a'.l the delicacies they would have i at home. The steward is sorely puzzled time and again to know how to provide, liav : ing so many different t: s es to provide ' for. Victor Be-try, of Phi alelpfii i, his | recently returned from a trip abroa 1, and being anxious to form some idea of I the amount of supplies used on sliip ' board, secured tlie list print d below. Hie steamer for which the; supplies were ■ purchased was the Umbria, and were I for her return \oyage from Liverpool to New York. Tl ey we re purcl ae 1 for : 630 passengers, and for an eight days' j voyage, which was completed, by the way, in six days and twelve hours. The I following is the list: Eleven thousand five hundred pounds I fresh baef, GOO poi nds coined beef, 4,500 pounds mutton, 620 pounds coined tongue, 766 pounds lamb, 250 pounds veal, 200 pounds pork, 150 pounds veni son, 2,000 pounds fresh fish, 12,000 eggs, 60 boxe s dried fish, 500 fowls, 240 spring chicken, 1,600 pounds turkey(Bo), 64 ge 'so, 130 ducks, 520 grouse, 300 Boideaux pige ns, 640 pounds coffee, 130 pouuds tea, 2,400 pounds sugar, 1,800 pounils hum, 600 pounds bacon, 425 pounds clie ;se, 23 kox< s oranges, 18 boxes lemons, 20 b xo< apple's (dess'it), 21 boxes apples (co tking), 131 tins fancy biscuits, 35 tins water biscuit, 60 tin pate do foio gras and e avian;, 1200 bottle;s pickles and sauce, 120 | liottle;s salr.d oil, 110 jars jams and ' jellies, 750 pounds of dried fruit, 26 ] barrels flour, 500 pounds butter, 2.000 i quarts of milk, 7 tons potatoes, 700 : quarts fresh fruit, 30 boxes pears, 2,594 botblee ale; and porter, 2,780 b ittlcs j mineral water, 559 bottles wine, 247 bot j ties spirits.—[Philadelphia Telegraph, Mrs. Mackay's Parrot. Mrs. M-erkav, the "Bonanza Queen," has, writes the London correspondent of the Mnn die s or Courier, pi ovided dur ing her absence, the public of London with a gratuitous entcrtainn ent ef a most diverting nature. At, her open window in Bi ckiugham Palace Ga'e is u wonderful green parrot, which attracts hundieds of people eve y d iy to hear liim talk. Tlie crowd on Sunday was so gre.it that tho polio 'man hud to request tin; people to ' move on." "Move on," i echoes tlie; parrot, to the; intense delight j of the mob. "Polly, what is the clock?" |aks a num. The parrot, pr. t nd'ngto I look at the clock, cries out in answer: ; "Half-pas; five'," and he was right. I i asked him how liis misses was. "Com ing ov.-r s ion, all right," replied tlie; marvelous bird. "How old are you, j 1 Polly?" "Don't know; bow old are j your" was tho answer, which, of course, i provoked great merriment, in which the parrot joined. Asked what day of the' week it was, the wretch bopped ah ut screaming, "Sunday. Go to prayers. Ora pro nobis. " Aud fell into a paroxysm of laughter, which was quite contagious. You may Hing of too beauty of springtime fliat glow* on the check of the young. Bat I siug of u beauty that's rarer Thau any of which you havo snug. The beauty that's awn in the faces Of women whoso summer is o'er, Tho autumn-like beauty that charms us Far more t ban tho beauty of yore, but this boauty is soon too rarely. The faces of most women lose the beauty of youth too toon. Female disorders are like frosta which como ioalii the flowers which betoken good health, Without which there can ho no rail beauty. If our American women would forti i fy themselves against the approach of the ter ; rlble disorders so prevalent among them, by usi g Br. Pierce's Favorite Prescription; their gov-eilooks would bj retained to a "sweet old ate.'' Thi; remedy is a i guaranteed cure for aH the distressing weaknesses and derangements peculiar to women. I)r. Pierce a Pollotts, one a dose. Cure head ache. constipation and indigestion. —Always take the part of an absent person who is censured in company, so far as truth and propriety will allow. A ripniiiK Hens* Of health and strength renewed and of eas* 1 and comfort follows the übo of Syrup of Figs, I as it acts In harmony with nature to effeotual ly cleanse the system when oostlvo or bilious. ! For sale la 50c. and $1 bottled by ail leading druggists. ! -—Never think the worso of another on ae- J count of his differing with you in politics or I religious opinions. Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers. Mild, equable climat .certain and abundant erops. Best fruit, grain, grass and stock count try in t'lo world. Full Information free. Ad- Iress Oregon Im'igrat'u Board, Portland. Ore. I —Never ridicule sacred things, or what oth ers may esteem to be such, howover absurd they appear to be. None equal " Tansill's Punch " 50. Ci ar. —Never d sputo with a man more than sev enty yours of a e, nor a woman, young or old, nor an enthusiast. if afflicted willi MJiii •>•; uo Or Isaac Thoinp ion's Eye W alur- Druggist* mil •*; per bottle —Never court the favor of tho rioh by flatter ( ing either their vanities or vices. Interested People. Advertising a patent medicine in the peculiar way in which the proprietor of Kemp's Balsam for Doughs and Colds does.it Is indeed won derful. He authorizes all druggists to give those who call for it a sample bottle Free, that , they may try it 1 eforo purchasing. The Large j Bottles are 50c. and sl. We certainly would j advise a trial. It may save you from con sumption. i —Never resent a supposed injury till you know tho views and motives of the author of it. Millions of women uso Dobbins's Electric Soap daily, ami say it is the best ami cheapest. If tney lira right, yon ou ht to two it. If wrong, one. (rial only will show you. Buy a bar of your groeer aud try it next Monday. —Bay ns littlo as possible of yoursolf and j those who are near to you. U49. Rheumatism According to recent Investigations la caused by exy cesslve lactic ncld In the blood. This acid attack* the fibrous tissues, particularly In the Joints, and causes tho local manifestations of the disease, pains i aud aches in tho back and shouldors, and In tho i joints at tho knees, ankles, hips aud wrists. Thou sands of pooplo havo found iu Hood's SarsaparlUa a positive and permanent euro for rheumatism. This medicine, by Its purifying and vltullslng ac tion, neutralizes tho acidity of tlio blood, aud also strengthens tho whole body. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Muss. 100 Doses One Dollar ni nirno '- '<■ <<>"< 1 kvsionsu SOLDIERS IfcC'cnuick A Sous. Washington, D.O. A Cincinnati. O lilCADiilTinil about ARKANSAS. Good INrUnmA I lands, low prices, easy terms, mild climate, variety ol crops. Maps and circulars ree. THOf. EH SEA, I.iuul toin'r, l.illlo Rock, Arkuiittnn. I Want a Boy and Girl li:"" : Good Pay. It. K. TELLER, l iuulillu, .\. N . THE CATARRH RE B ME DY CHlLDßiflfevSil#! BUFF RHINO FROM gL COLDinHEAD W y SNUFFLES CATARRH. HAY-FEYE^ A particle Is nppli"d into oacli nostril and is agrcea I bio. Price fiiictx. ut drugKixts; by mail, registered, i Met*. EI.V DUOS . Wair n siivh. N.-wVoiK. rlw^ e without knowledges the -'iStZ sister of Folly. MPOLtQ is a. solid, cake of scouring soap-Try a cake Cheap comfort can be secured by the small investment in one cake of SAPOLIO when you have a house or a kitchen to clean. From the paint to the pots and pans and including the windows and floors, it is the very best labor-saving soap which can be used for scouring and cleaning. Deafnoss C'nn't be Cured By local applications, as thoy cainot reach toe uiseaseu portion or tho ear. There Is only , one way to cure Deafness, and that is by con stitutional remedies. Deafness is caused -by I an in named condition of the mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this tub • gets in llamed you have a rumbling sound or imper fect hearing, and when it is entirely closed Deafness is the result, and unless tho inflam mation can ho taken out ami this tubeiestored toils normal condition, hearing will be liars for any case of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that wo ! cannot cure by taking Hull's Catarrh Cure, bend forcir. ula s, tree. F. J. CHKNHV CO., Toledo, o. fly- .Sold by Druggists, 76c. —Never affect to be witty, or je. t so as to wound the feelings of another. I o|f DIRECTIONS WITH EAC H BOTTLE,^ r OR BURNS and SCALDS, j A Haby 1 turned. Aastud, Minn., Kept. 25,1888. Our baby—lJ (yi an old burnt d her hand •n a hot stove and we put Bt. Jacobs Oil on it. It took the pit In ull out, at once; alter putting Hon 2 or 3 tiiues it was nil cured up. C. P. STAVE ami Family. AT DRUGGISTS AND DEALERS. THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO., Baltimore. Md. ' -j BEST HOLIDAY CIFT for Pastor, Parent, Ten rlirr, Child, Friend. 3000 more Words mid nearly -000 more Engravings than any other American l>iet ionary. It is un invaluable companion in every School and at every Fireside. GET THE BEST. Sold by all Booksellers. Illustrated Pamphlet with specimen pages, etc., sent free. G. &C. MERRIAM & CO., I'ub'rs,Springfield, Mass. , JOHNI F. STRATTON & SON, Importors of all kinds of Montli llnrmoiiicnis, I 43 A 4ii Walker Sit,, New Vork, I GRATEFUL-COMFORTING;. ETPS'S COCOA BREAKFAST. "By a thorough kniwlodgo of the natural laws whlea govern tha operations <>f digestion and nutrl 11* .it, and >v a .-.ir-t'ui a-.t.li -a' lon i tie- tin.- pr-.p.-r --tles of well-selected CucoMr. Kpps has provided our breakfast tables widi a delicately flavoured bev erage which mav save us many heavy doctors nt is. It Is by the Judicious use of such articles i diet tlmt a constitution may be gradually nullt up nut i •. strong enough to resist every tendency to di-t a-j Hundreds of subtle maladies are flouting around i. j ready to attack wherever there Is a weak point. We inav escape many a fatal shaft by keeping our selves well fortified with pure blood and a properly nourished frame."—' "Ciril Sfrricr Made simply with boiling water or mi' l j only In half-P mud tin .by Grocer*, biboUed tltu-- | J \ II KS KPPS iV CO.. Ho nuvjpatllio che nUu, j LONDON, ENGLAND. Pennsylvania Agricultural Worts, Yort, Fa. Farnuhar's Standard Koglncs and Saw Kill v. j Addreio A. B. FAUQCIUIi ASOS.Tork, Pa. The Latest -:- Craze I J: UNCLE SAM - THE MYSTERY. '" ' ll' '^' ' Whoever gives the true scientific explanation of this phenomenon will bo a public benefactor 10 Cents. 1 r ] 10 Cents. WANTED-Tho Biggrst Blower in the Country. We have a letter of acknowledgment on this marvelous scientific toy from tho Exocutiv Mansion, Washington, D. 0. tfSTMAILED TO ANY vDDHESH ON RECEIPT OF 15 CENTB. Liberal clis. *♦< j the trade. PARAGON CO., I Vaml e water Street, New York < fi wmcit seen N BEFHKSI| -V. \l\ NC RIFLE ■! , -• , 100-pacc I •eacripttve Catalogue. Guns, Rules, Revolvers, l'lsiiilit! Tackle, bicycles. Snorting Goods, Ac. JULI> P. LOVJiLE AItMS CO.. Boston, Al^a PENSIONS gfWI h .lOM I'll ||. 11 IN TK ft, ATTORNEY, \\ A >ll I M.TON. 1. C. OPIUM K vl iwaffl J. J.. STEPHENS, Lebanon,o RASE MlV^H%X3r' SENT FREE (3c.) stamp, by addressing, Theodore Holland, '*• 1 1 I 3d, I'liilu.Pu, HC. Book-keeping, business Forma, Utflil penmanship. Arithmetic, Short-hand, etc., FRAZER g^M BE9T IM THK WORLD U IlLAtlb tM~ Get the Uenuiaa Bold Brer ywhare. JONES W? PAYS THE FREIGHT. j a j T " e ° \^ t * f?i oari u e *' 1 heam and P©ui Bo* for rtsff®iPft*sepi il | ri Wii JONES U OF ' BINGHAMTON. 1 111 NL* IIA HI TO N. N. Y. Ml i -i Waterproof NORTHERN PACIFIC. II LOW PRICE RAILROAD LANDS & FREE Government LANDS. HI I 1.1.1 ON S OF AC it ESi in Minnesota, North Dakota, MonUina, Idaho, Washington and Oregon, (.run L*nß publications with maps descrlblngthg Obßu run I.chl Agricultural, Grazing aud Tim ber J.ands now open to Settlers. Scut free. Address CHAS. B. LAMBORN, MSr ( Ir,THL WONDERFUL If LUBURGA C H Al \a k j? N hmj?. e \2 jg.ij f .r .in dnli,ry. r"iiui£' a tUUL'KU MW."cO.[l'lSjirSa. gd'KiliL'j^ OJfMS ! !"'l WHISKEY HAB *LjrJ y. 8 fftsi! ITS cured at liome with r| I 1111 °>d jmln. Hook of pur. B 8 BWi Uculara rem FREE. aTABB- Ofllca 66)tf St! AFTER ALL OTHERS FAIL CONSULT OR. LOBB .T2!l North Fifteenth St., Philadelphia, Pa., for j tlio treatment of Blood Poisons, Sklu Eruptions. Nervous Complaints, liright's Disease, Strictures, } impotence and kindred diseases, no matter of how long standing or from what cause originating QifTeH days' medicines furnished by mall rncr IT i: .I.k ..1. SPEC I \ I, I) i-, .. „.-h. Mitt. jgBVBKKK&p. J| , T presence and fully en or-81" specific for tbe certain cure Tin a r*n • d nTi ww ° f thls disease. APjjtfv canaeStriewrs. Amsterdam', N. y! £d Itf d only by th* We have sold Hlg CI for Ohio. D - It. DYOHE A CO..