"ADS".AFTER KIPLING. What makes the printer'! heart to faint? What make the compt perspire! J sn t "flimsy" brought by hand, nor news by private wire; But it everlasting sweating at an everlasting ad That breaks your heart to set it up, and when it's done it's bad. O, the ads! Oh, the ads! Oh, the beastly tiresome ads! AVith the constant "alteration" and "revise" that coat n mint. The men who write them can not write they're always full of fads, And if they send a block along, the block will never print. What tnakes the foreman "rip" anil "bust," and tear his inky hair? What makes the editor get mud, and verv nearly sweat? It's six-inch ads with words enough to fill n quarter-page, And arrangements typographical that fill the heart with rnge. Oh. the ads! Oh, the ads! Oh, the frightful, frantic ads! With their adjectives exploded like a Yankee circus bill, With electros always coming loose and dropping out the brads. And grammar so illiterate it makes the reader ill. They will not use a font of type etcept the blankest face. They chop and change, and skimp and pare- they grudge an inch of space; Then when they've parked it good anil tight they think it needs a border, And if you say there isn't room they take away the order. Oh. the ad! Oh. the ad! Oh, the man who writes the ad! With his fancies hypercritical that make you want to laugh, He always seems to think for sure he's going to be had, And if a letter doesn't print he cuts the price in half. And when at length the proof is passed, the paper "put to bed," And everybody's going home as soon as he has fed, And all the papers printed off and half is on the train, You hear "That advertiser's on the telephone again." Oh. lhesd! Oh. the ad! Oh. the everlasting ad! What is it makes the 'phone vibrate with this insistent shout? Oh the advertiser says he finds that trade is rather had: He doesn't want the ad put in: we'd better leave it out! T. R.. in Advertising, London. a -i f i- i i- i-i -i -i i-i i-i ri i-i r -CURTIS' ORANGE CROP- By PRISCILLA "I'm not a farmer," said Mr. Rob erts, leaning back in his chair on the wide veranda and looking out medi tatively toward the orange groves over which Curtis Everett had taken o much trouble; "but I can tell you, there's only one road to success, In farming as In everything else, my boy. Aim for the top. For instance, friend of mine found first-rate cider apples in his new orchard. Did ho make cider out of them, like every other farmer round? Not' he; he annde the very best cider vinegar ln etaad, by careful chemical processes, and then he took soms of it down to New York. He went to the retailers direct, not to the commission men there's a trick for you to learn, Curt and he got ten dollars a barrel for It. Same way with his butter and cheese always the best, always at tractively put up, always at top prices. The result is that Jennings Is making a farm pay, and pay well. It all depends upon the way you do It. Now this orange grove of yours " "But, Mr. Roberts," Interrupted Curtis, "my oranges are first-rate, and two hundred barrels of them. It laj't my fault that I can't get more than three dollars a barrel for them bore, or from the New York commis sion men. And I can't afford to go to New York myself to sell them. You see, it's the old proverb again: 'The destruction of the poor is their pov erty. Mr. Roberts shook his head. "It's the poor bqs that make millionaires in the end, nevertheless, Curt; you ean't get round that fact. Suppose I give you an object-lesson in money making if you're willing, that is. I can teach you, for instance, how to ell those oranges at from five to even dollars a barrel." Curtis Everett looked at his shrewd, spare, well-dressed compan ion In amazement. Mr. Roberts was certainly in earnest, and everybody knew that Mr. Roberts cpuld do very wonderful things in the way of mak ing money. , He was a wealthy rail toad man, and Curtis and his mother always welcomed the days when he stopped at their little home among the orange groves, as he came and went along the line. Mr. Roberts had been a lifelong friend of Curtis' father, and after Mr. Everett's death had helped to set tle the small estate; and altogether Curtis, who was only eighteen years old, regarded him as one of the kind est, and wisest ot men. But this cool remark of his oracle fairly took away his breath. Seven dollars a barrel for oranges! Why, one might as well ay a hundred, and be done with It! Mr. Roberts rather enjoyed his young friend's incredulous look. Well, to begin with," he said, "we'll go outside ot your orange grove. Do you know that the crop, up and down the States, Is not as good as it might tte? I've noticed that, and you ought to know it better than I, for it's part, a large part, of your business. Then most of the packers about here are lazy and careless, and they pack as you do, in barrels. I would advise you to begin, and yon might as well do It to-day. by Dicklne over vnur two hundred barrels of oranges and sorting out only the finest and most perfect ones. Wrap each orange neat ly in paper, and pack them in boxes, with your name aad address plainly lettered on each box. Your fruit is flrst-rate, you say?" "No better oranges in Florida," said Curtis, proud of his crop. And he was not boasting, for when the flrst box was brought up for Mr. Rob erts' Inspection, the most fastidious connoisseur in fruit would have been satisfied with the great golden globes, Juicy and firm, that filled, the soft paper wrappers. "They'll do. Not a cent less than even dollars for these." was Mr. Rob erta' comment, as the box was nailed mp. ' "How many like this do you think you will get out of the twe ksndred barrels, ray boy?" ."At least twe handrtd boxes," re Hp LEONARD. plied Curtis, "and perhaps more. Of course I can sell the second grade ones for something, too." "Sell them round here, then," ad vised Mr. Roberts, "and don't put your name anyhere about them, as you do on these selected ones. What you want Is to hnve your name mean A No. 1 to every dealer who pees It anywhere. Do you understand?" And Curtis, as he assented, felt that the mysteries of business were, after all, based on common sense. The boxes went off to New York In due season, two hundred and seven teen of them. Curtis had dealt the year before with a commission firm, Holt & Wynne, who did a good busi ness lu that part of Florida. "Never heard of them," said Mr. Roberts, "but If you must go to a commission man, one is about the same 83 an other. I'm afraid you won't get more than five dollars among those sharks, but that's better than three, at any rate, eh?" "Nearly twice as good!" cried Cur tis, hopefully. "I'd be quite satisfied with five, myself. Holt & Wynne know I'm a beginner, and they prob ably won't do as much for me as for older growers." "Never be satisfied with anything but the highest price In the market, if your goods are first-class," said his mentor, oracularly. "That's another thing you want to learn. If you sell the best article that comes, there's no sense or justice in letting some one else make the profit off its value. You ought to be getting a good round check from Holt & Wynne soon." But, alas! The mall that brought Curtis a letter from New York brought also a staggering blow to these roseate theories. Holt & Wynne wrote briefly that the con signment of oranges had reached them, but in bad condition, the fruit being considerably bruised; the mar ket was dull, and altogather threo dollars a box was all that they could give for them. They trusted that this would bo satisfactory, and remained respectfully, and so forth. Curtis read the letter over once or twics. He felt dazed. With the hopefulness o: youth he had believed In his ..rf.licted good fortune, even white h h?1 disclaimed any hopes whaiever. Kow lucky It was, ho thought, tliat he had not told his mother anything about it, wishing to surprise her with the big check. It was small enough, after all. He put letter and check moodily In his pocket, and calculated how much he had lost on the material and labor for the boxes and also how little even the most shrewd man of business can know about farming. Poor Curtis! When Mr. Roberts came back that evening, after a trip down the State which had taken him most of that week, he found a disappointed-looking pupil, who, without a word, hand ed him Holt & Wynne's fateful epis tle. Mr. Roberts read the letter slowly. Then he read it again, and then sat and drummed the fingers of one hand thoughtfully upon the arm of his TI 11.. , 1 , il. . i . I t-uuu. x-luuiijr us nanuea me laiier uacK to uurtis wun tne quiet remark: "Don't cash that check, Curt. A ND this is not remarkable with regard to the body; p. for mind is one thing, body another. If I therefore u with joy remember some past pain of body, it is not J so wonderful; but here is the marvel, in that memory nj itself Is mind, for when we are bidding one to hold W. anything In memory, we say, bdu wnen we lorgei, we say, -ji waB not in my mum, or, "It slipped out of my mind," calling the memory itself the mind. Since then this is so, how is it, that when with joy I remember my past soiyow, the mind hath joy, and the mem ory sorrow; but the mind has joy by reason of the gladness In it, while the memory is not sad by reason of the sorrow that is in It? Does the memory perchance not belong to the mind? Who will say so? The memory then is a sort of belly of the mind, and joy and sadness a kind ot food, sweet or bitter; when these are entrusted to the memory, they are passed into a kind of belly; and there they can be stowed, but can no longer have a flavor. Ridiculous, Is It to imagine these to bo alike; and yet are they not utterly unlike? Klnt iit.ii.Hii. urnnfMlntii I liitithlnmnh.) You'll have to go to New York, after all." "I don't see, even If I did cash It, that three dollars a box would guar antee my traveling expenses," said Curtis. He tried to say it lightly, find did not mean that his voice should sound reproachful, but Mr. Roberts smiled under his gray mus tache. "I'll guarantee them, then,", ho said. "We'll go together, Curt, and we'll start to-night, for I have to be in New York this week at any rate. Pack up your things and come along. I mean what I say I'll guarantee your expenses. Only be sure and bring that letter along, for I mean busi ness." "But what " stammered Curtis. "I'll tell you on the train," said Mr. Roberts. "We leave at seven o'clock, so we have no time to talk now. But I have a little plan to unfold on the way to New York that I think will In terest you, my boy." Two days later three gentlemen, two middle-aged, one very young, strolled into the offices of Holt & Wynne. Mr. Holt knew Colonel Irv ing, the most elderly of the three, very well, for he was a business man of much prominence. The other two were strangers. Colonel Irving did not Introduce them, except by remark ing that as they were Irlends of his who wanted to buy oranges, he had brought them to Mr. Holt. He would answer for their business standing. "What is the market price per box?" asked one of them, as Mr. Holt led them to some sample boxes. "The usual rate Is from three to five dollars," said Mr. Holt. "That is, for average fruit. The finer grades are higher, of course." "We want the best you have," said the younger stranger. Mr. Holt con sidered mentally that from his man ner and his evident youth, this buyer was likely to be a ready customer, and not one to stick at prices. "We have a consignment of extra fine oranges from Florida, but we hold them pretty high," he said, smoothly. "You see, the season has been rather unfavorable, and first rate fruit Is getting scarcer every day. We ask eight dollars per box for these, but we consider them worth it." He had a box upon his hand as he spoke. On its side stood out In bold letters, "Curtis Everett;'' and the younger man gave a distinct start, which, however, escaped Mr. Holt's notice. The merchant opened the lid and took out a paper-wrapped orange, packed," he said, turning to Colonel Irving. "Each one perfect never have handled a better lot of fruit. The consignee, Mr. Everett, Is a young man, but he understands fruit growing and fruit-packing thorough' ly, and his name Is a guarantee that the oranges are first-class." "Humph!" here put in the elder stranger. "None ot them bruised, eh?" "Bruised!" said Mr. Holt, In an In jured tone. "How could they be, with Buch packing as that? No, sir; we can guarantee that every one of the two hundred and seventeen boxes Is in A No. 1 condition, and the fruit first-class In every respect." "Two hundred and seventeen Is that all?" asked tho younger visitor "I should have been glad tu have three hundred." "Well, we can fill the rest of your order with very fair fruit at six or seven dollars," said the commission merchant, "but we have no more like these in stock at present. They are really an unusual lot, and cheap at the price." "I think so," said the young man, decisively. "I will take the two hun dred and seventeen, and I will pay half down now, to bind the bargain, If you will give me a receipt." Mr. Holt rubbed his hands with pleasure. "Just step In here with me, Into our private office," he said, "and I will take your check and give you a receipt, Mr,' ?" he paused, lnqulr ingly. .' "Everett," repjled the young man, with great distinctness. "Curtis Everett."" Mr. Holt's jaw dropped. "I beg pardon," he said, closing the door of the private office sharply, as soon as they were well v Inside, "but what name did I understand you " "Curtis Everett," repeated his cus tomer. "Of Florida, Mr. Holt. A young man, as you kindly remarked, but one who understands fruit-growing and fruit-packing. Until to-day, however, he did not thoroughly un derstand frult-selllng, perhaps." "Hum ah-ryes!" remarked Mr. Holt, In a tone of choked embarrass ment. "Well, Mr. Everett," here he cleared his throat, and faced toward Curtis for the first time, "perhaps my partner, Mr. Wynne, and I had better come round and see you to-night about this." "Perhaps you had," said Curtis. "I am staying at the house of my friend, is "See that you keep it in mind;" Mr. Roberts, at No. Madison are nue." The commission merchant put m good a face upon the matter as pos sible when he went back with Curtis to Colonel Irving and Mr. Roberts. although he smiled rather a sickly smile as he bado the three good-bye. That evening, when the door of Mr. Roberts' library had closed be hind Messrs. Holt & Wynne, who, after a very uncomfortable half hour, had finally left their check for one thousand five hundred and nineteen dollars, drawn to the order of Curtis Everett, Mr. Roberts beamed genially upon his pupil in the paths of trade. "How is that for your orange crop, Curt? Seven dollars a box the price that they acknowledged should have been paid the planter besides Mr. Holt's heartfelt testimonial to your merits as a fruit-grower, made when he didn't even know who you were! Isn't that better than three dollars a barrel? And now, to-morrow, we'll go about and meet some of the people who really buy oranges and pay hon est prices for them, so that next year you won't have the trouble of coming to New York again, since you dislike It so much." "I think I could stand ' coming every week on these terms! " cried Curtis, laughing. "Only I'm glad I shall never have to consign any more oranges to Holt & Wynne. I felt al most sorry for Mr. Wynne, though, when he vowed he knew nothing about it, and begged us not to let this story be known." "You were quite right, though, my boy, when you refused to promise silence," said the elder man. "It will do no harm for every grower In your neighborhood to bear about the mat ter, and to consign his crops to a more honest firm. For my part, I expect to tell the story whenever I feel like It for It's a pretty neat example of poetic Justice." And that 1b how the story came to me for it is a true one and my only regret Is that I cannot tell It as well as Mr. Roberts does. Youth's Companion. 'NaturfeScience Telephone cables are about to be laid under the English Channel by the British Government. This la expected to greatly facilitate business between London and Paris. The latest Improved life preserver Is a hollow belt of rubber.'to which Is attached a cylinder filled with liquid carbon dioxide. On turning a tap the liquified gas escapes Into the belt, volatilizes, and Inflates It to its fullest capacity, twenty-seveu and one-half quarts, which makes it superior to any cork belt. An extraordinary surgical opera tion is reported from Paris. It ap pears that Dr. Doyen, who is well known in connection with cancer re search, successfully transplanted a vein of a live sheep to the leg of a man suffering from arterial aneurism, with the result that the circulation was restored. The patient has now completely recovered. The vein trans ferred was over ten Inches in length. Numerous grafting operations have been performed In modern surger"y, but this is the first time that an or ganism from a lower animal has ben transferred to man. The energy stored .up In ordinary matter on the electron theory Is enor mous. Assuming that each atom of hydrogen contained only one cor puscle and the probable number is several hundred then one grain of It would contain as much energy as that produced by burning five tons of coal. And all ordinary matter con tains this vast store of energy kept fast bound by the corpuscles. If any appreciable fraction of this were at any time to escape It Is pointed out that the earth would explode and be come a gaseous nebula. In some Interesting notes In the Zoologist, Dr. James Clark points out the nowhere, probably, in Great Britain are the conditions so favor able for abundance and variety of crustacean life as on the coast of Cornwall. And among the numerous species there found -none, perhaps, are ot greater interest than those which appear from time to time as waifs and strays from other parts. Among those casual visitors Dr. Clark notes the curious little gulf weed crab (Planus minutus). This species has its headquarters and breeds among the drift weed of the Sargasso Sea. The Gulf Stream oc casionally carries it to our shores. It is usually found on drift timber cov ered with barnacles. Such casual drifting illustrates how a species may extend its geographical range, but it does not appear that the Cornish waters are suitable for the gulf-wesd crab. A Women's Protest. The female compositors and other workwomen in printing establish ments of Norway have raised a pro test against a proposed factory In spection law, in which overtime and night work are forbidden for women. They do not desire protective legisla tion of that sort. Old Tapers. There were recently discovered in the city library ot Luneburg eight volumes of old Hamburg papers, some ot which were dated 16 It. Ia Jane British Imports Increased by tli.OflO.OQO and exports by fit, OtMM New York Cuy. iiiu uiouise lum is made with a separate chemisette la n exceedingly useful and practical ono. Hero 1b a model which Includes that feature and which is finished with the fashionable and becoming Dutch collar. In tho illustration It Is made of embroidered batiste and the collar and trimming are of Irish crochet, while the chemisette Is of l tucked muslin. Every seasonable ma terial Is appropriate, however, and pongee and foulard are being utilized for separate blouses as well as for entire gowns whllo they suit the model admirably well, muslins are handsome and attractive and there are also many sturdier printed inex pensive wash fabrics that are equally appropriate, for trimming can be varied to suit the noeds ot the special material. The chemisette being sep arate, can be made of anything in contrast, and pongee In the natural color with chemisette either of lawn or net, makes an exceedingly service able, practical and smart blouse. It the long, close sleeves are not liked, those In three-quarter length with rolled-over cults can be substituted. The blouse Is made with fronts and back, which are tucked becomingly. It is finished with hems at the front edges and with a Dutch collar at the neck edge. The sleeves are made in one-piece each, whatever their length. The chemisette is separate and closed at the back. The quantity of material required for the medium size is four yards twenty-four, three yards thirty-two or two and three-eighth yards forty-four inches wide, with one-half yard eigh teen Inches wide for the chemisette, five-eighth yard of banding. Narrow Sleeves. Some ot the newest frocks are made with narrow Eleeves, sloping shoulders and scarcely any fulness in the bodice: They have turned down collars, round waists and merely a little embroidery as trimming. ' ' Harmony in Costume. Never was the vogue so great for harmony of the whole costume, and the most stylish women appear with gown, tie shoes and accessories of the same hue. Straps For Slippers. The newest slippers have straps that cross on the Instep and button high up on the side. Color on White. Color embroidery on whtle, black, cream and ecru will be much used, as well as white on color. Most of the embroidery seen now In the shops la machine made. Outing Hats. Some of the outing hats are made of the sort of canvas that looks like matting. They are edged with col ored straw braid and trimmed with a band and bow ot ribbon of the same color. Blilrt Waist or Blouse. The tailored shirt waist Is always needed. U fills a place that no other garment supplies. This one Is tucked most becomingly and is adapted to flannel, moire and pongee as well as to linen and cotton wnlstlngs. In the Illustration It Is made ot butcher's linen and Is finished with simple tailor stitching. If a fancy or more dainty waist were wanted, It could be made of embroidered pique or of fancy muslin with the tucks sewed by hand. It can be utilized for the shirt or other simple seasonable material. The waist consists of fronts and back. It Is finished with tho regula tion box pleat at the front and the sleeves are In regulation shirt waist style, with over-laps and straight cuffs. The turned-over collar is ad justed over the neck-band. The quantity of material required for the medium size Is three and one half yards twenty-one or twenty-four. two and three-fourth yards thlrty-tw or two and one-eighth yards forty- four Inches wide. Leather Wntch Fobs. There Is a fad for watch 1003 0 leather, whether in the shape of bracelet for the wrist, or fastened tdj the lapel of the smart tailored coat, ol worn suspended from the- belt ot tn shirt waist girl. White Serge. For coat and tailored suits, no matt ter for what occasion, white serg has no rival, for it may be worn at al1 most any hour, from breakfast until midnight.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers