THE THERMOMETER. II Wit Invented by Poor Man Who Had Failed at a Merchant. There is one little lnstrumeut In .Which the Interest of all classes of people In this country never diminishes through all the changing seasons of the year, from the first day of January to the last day of December. It regulates the business pulse of the nation and Is the shrine to which men of all occupa tions turn. And this little Instrument Is the thermometer, which bears the name of Fahrenheit Before the seventeenth century men icould only Judge of tho nmount of heat prevailing nt any place by their per sonal sensntlous and could only spenk Of the weather lu a very Indefinite .way ns hot or very hot, cold or very cold. In that century several attempts .Were made by scientific experimenters by means of tubes containing oil. spir its of wine und other substances to es tablish a satisfactory means of meas uring beat, but none of :l-ein proved successful. Even Sir Isaac Newton. Who applied his great mind to this .work, and also the uoteii astronomer. Halley, failed In their attempts to pro duce a bent measure. It was reserved to Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit, an obscure and poor man, a native of Dantzlg, to give to the .world the Instrument which has proved to be so serviceable to mankind. lie had failed in business as ft merchant and, having a taste for mechanics and Chemistry, began a series of experi ments for the production of thermome ters. At first he made these Instru ments with alcohol, but soon became convinced that the semisolid mercury .was a more suitable article to use In the glass tube. Fahrenheit had removed from Dout sig to Amsterdam, and there about the year 1720 he made the mercury ther mometer which has ever since been fashioned much like the original. The basis of his plan wes to mark on the tube the two points respectively at which water is congealed and boiled and to graduate the Fpnce between. He began with an arbitrary marking, beginning with 82 degrees, because he found that the mercury descended 32 degrees more before coming to what he thought the extreme cold resultlug from a mixture of ice, water and sal ammoniac. In 1724 be published a dis tinct treatise on the subject of his ex periments and the conclusions that had resulted therefrom. Celsius of Stockholm soon artor sug gested the more rational graduation of a hundred degrees between freezing and boiling point. This was the centi grade thermometer. Reaumur propos ed another graduation which has been accepted by the French, but by far the largest part of the civilized world Fahrenheit's scale has been accepted and used, with 82 degrees as freezing, 65 degrees ns temperate, 00 degrees ns blood heat and 212 degrees as boiling point. It is true that the zero of Fahren heit's scale is a solecism since It docs not mark the extreme to which heat 1 can be abstracted. This little blemish. 1 however, does not seem to have bcon of any practical consequence. , Arctic explorers have persisted In de scribing temperatures below the aero of Fahrenheit, and scientists have pro duced artificially temperatures far be low any ever dreamed of by the ther mometer maker of Amsterdam. There Is doubt ns to the year of the death of Fahrenheit, but it Is generally placed In 1740. Los Angeles Times. 8un Power. There ts one source to which all minds revert when this question Is mentioned, a source most promising and yet one which has so far eluded the investigator. The sun on a clear day delivers upon each square yard of the earth's surface the equivalent of approximately two horsepower of me chanical energy working continuously. If even a fraction of this power could be transformed Into mechanical or electrical energy and stored It would do tho world's work. Here Is power delivered at our very doors' without cost. How to store the energy so gen erously furnished and keep It on tap for future use is tbe problem. That the next half century will sec some solution thereof, cither chemical or otherwise, seems likely. II. S. Prlteh ett in Atlantic. f Victoria and Lady Millaie. It is related that when Sir John Mil In Is fell ill Queen Victoria sent the Princess Louise to the dying man to Inquire what favor she conld accord him that could alleviate his sorrow If not his pain. Sir John thereupon called for bis writing tablet and inscribed upon It tbe words, "I should like the queen to see my wife." Then the queen broke through her Iron rule not to receive any woman whose marriage tie had been once dissolved, whether there be blame or not, graciously ac ceded to tbe request and accorded tbe sorely tried lady a tender and sympa thetic Interview. St James' Gazette. j Ambitions. The toller In tbe city bad been given an advance in salary. "Now," he said jubilantly, "I can begin saving to buy a farm." The agriculturist looked at tho check received for his season's wheat "An other such crop or two and I can move Into the city," be mused. Phila delphia Ledger. Light Work. "Want a Job, Rnstus?" "No, sab; no, sab. Done got a Job, sah." ' "Indeed! What are you dotng7" "Taltln' In washln' foah ma wife to do. sah."-Lipplncott's. Grieving for the lost opportunity Is tbe very worst -way to find new ones. Baltimore American. DECAY OF STONE. Even the Densest Siliceous Rocks Suc cumb to Time. Whoever expects to find a stone that will stand from century to century, de riding alike the frigid rains and scorch ing solar rays, without need of repara tion will indeed search for "the phi losopher's stone." There is scarcely a substance which after having been ex posed to the action of the atmosphere for a considerable time docs not ex hibit proofs of weathering. It may even be observed on the most densely compacted siliceous rocks. The fullest extent of this inquiry can only be to elucidate relative duration and com parative labor of appropriation to use ful or ornamental purposes. By examining the various produc tions of naturo we find evident proofs of her Industry In all ages. Changes have been going on from 1 lit? remotest antiquity to the present time on every substance that comes within our ob servation. All the actual winblnations of waiter have had a fornu-r existence in some other state. Nothing exists In nature but what is likely to change Its condition and manner of lielug. No material Is so durable ns always to re tain its present appearance, for the most solid and compact bodies have not such a degree of Impenetrability and so close a union of the parts which com pose them as to bo exempted from ulti mate dissolution. Even in the great globe which we In habit nothing is more evident to geolo gists than a perpetual series of altera tions. There can be discovered no vestige of a beginning, no prospect of an end. In some bodies these changes are not so frequent nnd remarkable as in others, though equally certain nt a more distant period. The venerable re mains of Egyptian splendor, many of them executed in the hardest granite between 8,000 and 4,000 years since, exhibit large portions of exfoliation and gradual decay, thereby following the primitive, immutable and universal . . - (V i I .. oruer 01 causes huu triic--i:j mimri.t. mat oil ODjecis possess ine millennia of which tbey are composed only for a limited time, during which some pow erful agent effects their decomposition and sets the elementary particles nt liberty again to form other equally per fect combinations. Thus by diniie nnd unerring laws order is restored amid apparent confusion. Exchange. EAST INDIAN SERVANTS. An Amusing Complication Over a Dote v of Medicine. The experiences of an English house bolder In India are often amusing. An instance of one of tbe nmuslng experi ences is given. The old gray bearded butler an nounced at luncheon one day that the dishwasher was 111 with fever, but that If I. would give him some medi cine he would soon be able to resume his work. I happened to have none by me. but the matter was urgent, clean dishes being Important "Can he go to the chemist's, do you think, for some physic If I give him a letter?" I asked. "I don't know what to write for." "Oh, yes," he sal'!; "lis Is quite able to go that short distance" I thought that was much the best way, and then the chemist oould give him what was proper. .So I wrote: "Please give the bearer a dose of med icine. He-says be has fever." I forgot to Inquire about him till two days after. "HOW Is the dishwasher?" I said. "He Is much better, your honor." "Ah, then be took the physic!" "No, your highness. The bazaar cooly took the physic." "The bazaar cooly I" I exclaimed "What for?" 'The dishwasher said: 'Cooly goes errands. He may fetch me the physic' So tbe cooly took the letter. Shop master prepared physic, then told ba zaar cooly to drink It Cooly snld: 'Not for me Is the medicine, but for another man. I take It to lilin.' 'Not so,' said tbe shop master. 'The mis tress has written. "(Jive to bearer." and she means you must drink It here ' Miiiiy times the cooly said he was not the man, but tbey would not listen, uud tbey made him drink It" Ex change. True. "it Isn't true. Is It." nsked Rollo a m! finished reading "The Pled riper of Hnmelln" "It Isu't true that be .could play on his pipe so that tbe rats would so off and drown themselves?" "Well," replied Rollo's father. "1 don't know about that I think It may be true. Your Uncle George can play tbe Bute so that It will scare a cow Into a river and drive all tbe dogs In the neighborhood crazy. Tea, I should say tbe poem Is true." London An swers. The Obsolescent Honeymoon. Honeymoons are going out of fash Ion and will probably eventually dlsap pear. At present they are often short ened to four or five days or even a paltry week end Marriage is getting to be looked upon in a more matter of fact way, and It ts no doubt well that the romantic girl should not expect ab solutely unreachable things of wedded bliss. London Bystander. A Good Exouee. 'Now, then," demanded Luscbmnn's wife the next morning, "what's your excuse for coming home In that con dition last night?" "Well, to tell you the truth, m' dear.'' he replied, "none of tbe hotels would take roe In." Philadelphia Press. Of High Degree. "What kind of a dog have yon got , there, my boy?" j. "Dat's a mouse hound, mister." t Judge. , THE GREATEST WEDDING. Over Twenty Thousand Personi Were Married by One Ceremony. The biggest wedding ever known to history was when Alexander the Great and over 10,000 of his soldiers took part In a wedding in the court of Da rius, king of Persia, after the latter's conquest by Alexander. Twenty thou sand two hundred and two persons were made husbands and wives lu one leremony. The facts ure these: After conquer ing King Darius, Alexander deter mined to wed Stntlro, daughter of the conquered king, and Issued a decree that on that occasion 100 of his chief officers should marry 100 women from the noblest Persian and Medea fam ilies. He further stipulated that 10.OU0 of bis Greek soldiers should take to wife 10,000 Asiatic women. For this purpose, a vast pavilion was erected, the pillars being sixty feet high. One hundred gorgeous cham bers adjoined this for the 100 noble bridegrooms, while for the 10,000 sol diers on outer court was inclosed. Out side of this tables were spread for the multitude. Each pair bad seats and ranged themselves In a semicircle round the royal throne. As It would have taken several weeks for the few priests to have married this vast number of cou ples had the ceremouy been performed in the ordinary way, Alexander Invent ed a simple way out of the difficulty. He gave his hand to Statlro and kissed her, and all the remalulug bridegrooms did the same to the women beside them, and thus ended the ceremony that united the greatest number of people nt one time ever known. Then occurred a five days' festival which for grandeur and magnificence never has since been equaled. - MAN AND HIS HORSE. The Way to Show Approval that the Animal Wilj Appreciate. Caress plays no small part In de veloping the best in any horse, but this Is never to be by word of mouth. , You may as well curse as bless for all your horse knows or cares. The caress of tbe hand addressed to the part with which the animal has just performed some feat is always appreciated the expression shows that and one loves to see a good man as he lands safe over a big place Just reach back and give the clever horse a loving pat or two on that swelling muscular loin which has been the chief agent In negotiating tbe obstruction. Do not pnt neck or shoulder or any part not actively engaged in the under taking. Caress may do no good, but it is pleasant to believe that It does, and we are quite positive that the voice simply diverts attention. The for mer mode of address is at least worthy of trial if only ss a mnrk of appreclo tlon between, two gentlemen. ".Tbe threatening tones appear sometimes serviceable, but this Is so only when horses have been abused and associate punishment with the stern voice.' The wild horse Is as indifferent to the voice of affection as to that of rage. From "Schooling the nunter," by Frank M. Ware in Outing Magazine. '' Drowned Manuscript. James Russell Lowell, tbe first edi tor of tbe Atlantic, was walking across Cambridge bridge when his bat blew off and fell Into tbe Chnrles with half a dozen or more manuscripts with which It was freighted and which be was re turning to the Boston office. A. boat man recovered the -bat but the 'scat tered manuscripts perished in those waves of oblivion. "If they had been accepted articles, It wouldn't have been quite so bad, for." said be, "we might with some grace ask the writers for fresh copies. But bow can you tell a self respecting contributor that his manuscript has been not only rejected, but sent to a watery grave?" J. T. Trowbridge in Atlantic. A Domeitio Breakdown. A well known lord discovered a thief in his London house. Aided by the butler, he secured tbe man and then rang tbe bell. A servant appeared, whom the peer requested to "go Into the kitchen and bring op a policeman or two." The domestic returned and said there were no policemen on the premises. "What!" exclaimed bis mas ter in Incredulous tones. "Do you mean to tell me that with a cook, two scullery maids, a kitchen maid and three housemaids In my employ there Is no policeman in my kitchen? It ts Indeed a miracle, and our prisoner shall reap the benefit Turner, let tbe man go Instantly r London Standard. True to Nature. "Are you satisfied with your den list?" "Perfectly. He's a real artist: His falsa teeth are perfect Jewels." ' "Can't you tell the difference?" "Tbey are exact Imitations of na ture. There Is even one that's so good an Imitation that It aches sometimes.'' Paris Journal. Many Sides. "That's tbe way the thing was told to me, but of course there's always more than one side to a story." "Of course. There are always as many sides to a story as there are peo 4e to blame." Philadelphia Press. Quite a Difference. "What does Vernon do for a living?" "He works in a paint shop." "Why, I understood he was a writer for tbe magazines." "Well, you asked me what be did for a living." Bohemian. It Isn't so that woman Is at the bot tom of all trouble. It's money. Man chester Union. ANXIOUS WAGNER. The First Performance of "Rienzl" at Dresden. In Ludwlg Frankenstein's Wagner year book Gustav Kletz tells this story In connection with the first perform ance of "Rienzl" at Dresden: "On the day of the first performance Wagner asked me to meet him In front of the theater after the box office bad been opened, so that be could give me and my friend Schuster, the butcher, tick ts for the performance. Wagner was In a state of great excitement, and when he gave me the two tickets Heine whispered to me, 'Take some one with good big bauds with you.' He watched the people as they came toward the theater, and every time one went In he would make some re mark to his wife which showed his satisfaction. I had to go within, but 1 shall never forget the childish Joy of the composer when be saw groups en ter tbe bouse and the disappointment when others passed the open doors. I thought of It even that evening when tbe enthusiasm was the greatest How happy Wugner uud his wife must have been at the following two perform ances, when the house was so filled that even bis rclntlves, wbo hnd come to Dresden for that purpose, could not be admitted to the theater!" THE DESERT SANDS. Why the Arabi of 8ahara Lose the Use of Their Eyes. , "I shall winter In the Sahara," said a traveling man. "With a caravan 1 shall traverse under a blinding sun and an endless plain of snow white sand, but none of my Mohammedan attend ants will wear any kind of shade over his eyes. "Against that dazzling glare tbe backs of their necks will be swathed In white linen, nnd even their ears will be protected. Nothing, though. will keep the sun out of their faces. 'Wondering about this. I said one day to the kaid of an Algerinn village: '"Why don't you Arabs wear a cap of some sort? You live In the world's worst sun glare, but neither fez nor turban under any circumstances has a peak.' "'The Koran,' tbe kald answered, 'forbids all true believers to shade their eyes. Obeying the Koran Implic itly, we dwellers in the defect avoid like poison brims to our headgear. In consequence there is more blindness among us than among any other peo ple in the world.' "Los Angeles Times. A Popular Play Indeed. Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" has been translated Into Germnn nine times, into French seven. Into Itnltan six. Into modern Greek lliree. Into Lntln nnd Swedish twice and into Crontlnn, Danish, liutch. Frl Ian, Po lish, Roumanian, Russian. .Magyar. Portuguese and Yiddish. There are seven or eight English acting editions of the tragedy. Km one I'ttempt actu ally to alter and improve it has ever been made. This was In 1722, when John Sheffield, duke of Rucklnghnm, divided it Into two parts at the death of Caesar, calling It "The Tragedies of Julius Caesar and Marcus Kmtus," and made many other changes. To enrich this poor play, or. rather, these poor plays. Pope furnished some choruses, but they bad the usual effects of 111 ad Justed ornaments they served only to mnke tbe meanuess of tbe tbing tbey bedecked the more conspicuous. Full Faith In the Dootor. A young farm laborer called one mar ket day at tbe registrar's office to re cord his father's death. Tbe registrar asked the date of death. "Well, father ain't dead yet." was the reply, "but be will be dend before morning, and I thought It would save me another journey If you would put It down now." "Oh, that won't do nt all," said the registrar. "Why, your father may take a turn before morning nnd re cover." "Ah, no, he won't" said the young laborer. "Doctor- says he won't, and be knows what he's given father." Liverpool Mercury. Irish Wit. ' As Sir Waiter Scott was riding with a friend near Abbotsford be cume to a field gate, whlcb an Irish beggar, who hapened to lie near, oiieiied for him. Sir Walter was desirous of rewarding him by the present of sixpence, but found be bnd not so small a coin In his purse. "Here, my good fellow," said he; "here is a shilling for you, but mind, you owe me sixpence." "God bless your honor!" exclaimed tbe Irish man. "May your honor live till I pay your The Bone. "Say, paw," queried little Tommy toddles, "what is tbe bone of conten tion r "The Jawbone, my son," answered tbe old man, with a side glance at his wife. Chicago News. A Blunder. Customer I most say, waiter, this Is the first time I've ever had a really tender ateak here. Walter (aghast Good gracious, I must have given you the proprietor's steak! London Standard. His Awful Threat Mother Why did you not scream when Hans kissed you? Daughter He threatened me. Mother How? DaugUter He said if I did be'd never kiss me again. Meggendorfer Blatter. Worry. He You know. If you worry about every little thing It's bound to affect your health. His Wife-Yes. I know. That's one of the things I worry ftbqut Town and Country. SIGNS OF OLD AGE. How a Man May Know When He It No Longer Really Young. They were arguing about tbe signs of approaching old age. "Well, I'll tell you one thing," said one. "When a girl ceases to take a lively Interest In you and doesn't mind your seeing her with her bnlr slightly untidy and listens to your conversation Indulgently where formerly she mani fested Interest and sympathy, then you may know you are growing old." "No," said another. "That isn't an Infallible sign, because some young wo men show interest and sympathy to everybody. It's when your bones creak slightly on arising from a chair und you no longer swing on a moving cur with full confidence and you walk up a flight of stairs a step nt a time, tlieu you are growing old." "Not so," chimed In a third, "for young people with rheumatic diseases sometimes exhibit these signs. Wheu the workings of your liver come to be of more importance that tbe affairs of your heart then you are growing old." "You are all wrong," unnounced a fourth. "When In pulling on your trousers lu the early morning you are compelled to gain the support of the bedstead when you slip on tbe other leg then then you are growing old!" New York Press. MADE ONE BLUNDER. But to Square It an Offer of Generous Restitution Wae Made. In one of the northwestern states tbey like nothing better than to tell how a few years ago there came to that section of tbe Union a Boston newspaper man whose mission it was to "write up" lynching In that quar ter, altl gb It appeared that there bnd not -been nn Illegal execution In tbe stale for a long time. Tbe natives took the questions of tho eastern scribe in good part and even "Jollied" him Into believing that for downright law lessness the community wherein be was for the moment sojourning was about the most conspicuous portion of the United States. "Don't you ever make a mistake In these lynchlngs?" guilelessly asked the Bostonlun "that Is, don't you ever lynch the wrong mnn7" ' ! ' " "That happened once." pnt In some one. "but we tiled to do the square thing by tbe widow." "Indeed r "Yes; we appointed a committee to inform the widow that the Joke was on us, and we gave her tbe choice of the crowd for ber second husband." Mpplncott's Magazine. How She Rests. In Germuntown there dwells a fam ily of ancient liuengi- which for years every summer hns employed n colored wiimau named Liza as u rook while the family was al the shore Pons and daughters bavp nnmicd and migrated, reared children and milled to the blanches of nn already luxuriant fam ily tree. On one occasion a number of those signified n desire to assemble again under the old roof. The old Indy who now Is the head of the family seeing that 8eeial help wus necessary, sent for Liza to come and help cook the dinner. Liza's answer was brief and dignified. "De winter am my vaca tion," slie said, "an' den I doan' cook for nobody. In de winter I rests, an" all I does Is washln' an' Irontn'." I'hlladelphia Record. A Curt Reply. A story is told of Professor Masson when editor of Macuilllan's Magazine. It refers to the days when Klugsley uud Newman were engaged In their famous pamphlet war. Conscious of Hie excellence of an article on tbe snb-jert- of the controversy which he had written In the magazine. Masson ven tured to bring It under the notice of Newman, but be was not prepared for the reply he received, although be aft erward spoke of It with philosophic humor. Newman's laconic message was lu words such as these: "I have nut heard of your magazine, and your inline conveys no Impression to my mind." Westminster Uazette. Heartfelt. Lord Carrliigton whim governor or .New South Wales made his first pub He appearance at the mayor's dinner at Sydney, iluviug committed n few words to paper, be delivered them in reply to tbe toast of his health and then sat down, feeling very much sat isfied with himself. Opposite to him there sat an M. P. who had suffered lung from the abundant eloquence of the new governor's predecessor. When Lord Carringtou sat down the man filled bis glass to tbe brim and said. "Thank the Lord, be can't speak." Just a Spill. "Beg pardon, sir," said the awkward waiter, "but was that last meal on your "Not all of It garcon," replied the guest as he meekly rubbed bis much spattered trousers; "only the soup." Pittsburg Press. Lots of It "Initiative is the great thing that wc all need and that most of us lack." "Well, my husband has lots of it" replied Mrs. Gottawadde. "He's lnlti ated in aomething nearly every night' Chicago Record-Herald. Sensitive. "Willie is so sensitive." "Really?' "Exceedingly so. When papa kicked him down tbe steps the last time be didn't call again for three weeks." Cincinnati Enquirer. While the world lasts fashion wUl lead it by toe nase.-Cawper, Italian Hegard For Animals. On tbe occasion I was a passenger on one of the lake steamers which ply between Desenzano and Blva. It was a day of wild wind and driving storm. At Salo a peasant of a peculiarly tru culent type came on board, clad lu tbe shaggy cloak of tho district and bear ing a vast blue umbrella no less Indig enous. With bim. too, he brought bis donkey Now, oven Italian steamers do not knowingly admit quadrupeds of this size to the shelter of the fore cabin, though possibly if they did no great harm would be done or Bentl ment violated. ..The beast, therefore, was tethered on tbe open deck and thus became exposed to the fury of wind and weather, not to mention the wave. A British peasant would prob ably have accepted the situation and let him bide. Not so tbe Lombard. Hastily divesting himself of bis ample overcoat he sprend It carefully . over tbe lower animal's back and. unfurl ing his voluminous umbrella, held that patiently over the asinine head and his own all tho way to Rlvn. Now. here, surely, was a good man. merci ful to bis beastLondon Times. " The Invention of Spinning. , The invention of tho art of spinning was ascribed by tbe ancients to Miner va, the goddess of wisdom. The date 1500 B. C. Is given as that of tbe be ginning of the art In Greece, under the direction of the king of Arcadia, but pictured Inscriptions on Egyptian monuments show that the use of tbe spindle and distaff was known In that country much earlier. Tbe first distaff was simply a stick, around which tbe fiber to be spun was loosely colled, held in the left hand; the spindle was a sort of top net In motion by n twirl of the band, the fiber passing between the finger ancl thumb of tbe right band. This Invention was improved upon in the course of time by placing the spin dle in a frame nnd making-It revolve by mechanical action of the hand or foot in connection with a wheel or s treadle, thus giving the true spinning wheel. The first recorded use of this was In tbe early years of the sixteenth century, but It was probably made and used long before tbls.The first spin ning jenny, a machine working eight spindles, was invented in 1767. Mermaids and Mermen. Not many generations ago mermaids and mermen were believed in implicit ly. Says the Aberd en Almanac of New Prognostications For the Year 1G88: "To conclude for this year 168a Near tbe place where the famous Dee payeth his tribute to the German ocean, if curious observers of wonder ful things In nature will be pleased thither to resort the 1, 13 and 29 of May and In divers other times In the ensuing summer, as also In the harvest time, to the 7 and 14 October, they win undoubtedly see a pretty company of mar mnlds. crentnres of admirable beauty and likewise hear their charm ing sweet melodious voices In welt- tun'd measures and harmontoos lays, Kxto their maker and his bounty praise. That godly honest men, In everything, In qnlet peace may live. God save the Mngr Heaving the Log. Heaving tbe Jog Is one of tbose pic- turesqne sea expressions with whlcb sit landsmen are acquainted, though prnbaMy few coord explain tbe exact process. Tbe "log" Is a quadrant shap-l ed piece of wood loaded with lead at tbe curve. The line to which it Is at tached is 120 fathoms long nnd Is di vided by knots Into equal distances of forty-seven feet each. These distances are the same fraction of a nautical mile (a knot) as twenty-eight seconds Is of one boor. Consequently tbe num ber of knots tbat slip off the reel In twenty -eight seconds after the "loaf is in the water is the speed per hour tbat tbe ship is making. St James' Ga aette. r Retrogressive. Extracts from Miss Evergreen's dia ry: "This is my eighth birthday. A new brother came. Ills name will be Fritz. "Frits Is twenty years old today. Just a year younger than I. People always take us for twins. "Frits will be thirty years old tomor row, his wedding day. Bow the time does fly! Of course be Is eigbt years my senior and nsed to carry me about when I was a baby: still it seems strange to think of the boy getting married." Fllegende Blatter. The Last of the Plagues. One by one tbe plagues of Egypt are being abolished by science. The frogs were abolished long ago by the drain tile. Tbe fleas are checked by Insect powder, and the darkness that could be felt has melted away before the arc light The sixth plague still remains in full glory. The fly Is always with us. The great Dr. Radcllffe used to declare that the three worst annoy ances of life were smoke, flies and ir relevant questions. Collier's Weekly. Wanted to Be Posted. Restaurant Patrou I see that you have on the bill of fare "assorted pies." Walter Yes, sir. Restaurant Patron Well, the last time I was here I found a nail in a piece of pie, and the time before It was a collar button. What kind of an assortment have you got 'his time? Exchange. Fancy Work.- "Mrs. Follansbee tells me that she is studying Chaucer," said Mrs. Oldcaa- tle. "Indeed?" replied her hostess. "Bhe; always was crazy over fancy work. Chicago Record-Herald. The Same Thing. He So you were never In love? She Why, do! But I've been engaged tga heaps of men. who were, Bystander.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers