" DOM IN AT ED BY WOMEN; A Welsh Town Where )th Feminine t ges Relftn Sn preme. Away In q soquestoreutllttlo nook on tho retnbrokpshlre coustthero Is n vil lage wtlroly mnnngod by women. In Langum for mien In tlio hmiulet's imiiio woman reigns supronio. She In the dominating force of tho limit of trade, the household financier, tho fmiilly ac countant nnd, In fact, fills all the po sition which In nny other com in unity, whether civilized or not, nre by estab lished precedent voted to num. Langum 1ms n nice npnrt from the world In Its laws In Its exclusion or tho stranger nnd In Its utter disregard or the vnst nren of world nnd things lylnK beyond Its borders. Its quiet life Is dominated by two nil powerful factors womntiklnd nnd oysters. There nro men In Lanftum. but they exert little or no Influence upon the affairs of tho quiet llttlo Welsh village. The Langum man neither Is nor pre tends to bo. He recognizes tlm right of womankind to own and rule and Is per fectly satisfied to be described as An nlo Jones' man or Mary Williams' man. He neither requires nor appreciates compassion. Bitting of nn evening nt his eottngo door, with his faithful brood playing nronnd him. Ills wife nnd dnughler busy within reckoning the gains of tho day's work, he Is vexed by no mentnl anxieties or perplexities. Divested of nil responsibilities or life, he Is as pleased as the oyster ror which his native place Is famed. London An swers. , The Short Step Between. "I was on an ocean liner when she ran on the rocks off the English coast some years ago," said n Philadelphia traveling man, "nnd In the panic that ensued there is one Incident that stands out in my memory, Illustrating the slender thread between tho tragic and the ridiculous. We had n fellow on board who had managed to keep pretty well loaded all tho way across, nnd when we struck tho rockB' he was In his usual condition. When everybody thoiiKht for sure we were going to the bottom, he sat down nt tho piano In the saloon, nnd wbnt do you suppose ho began playing? 'Home, Sweet Home.' Somebody went to hlin nnd begged him to stop. Immediately ho switched off from the doleful strains of the old song to the rollicking melody of 'Down Went Mctilnty.' The absurdity of tho thing seemed to strike everybody nt once, and n general laugh followed. The tension was relieved, nnd there was good order after that." Philadel phia Record. Autldrapepala Diet. "Dyspepsia would no longer be the national disease in America if tho peo ple of this country would adopt a plain diet similar to that of Norway nnd Sweden. Gout Is unknown among Swedes and Norwegians, nnd tho rosy cheeks nnd clear complexions of the young people of those countries nro the result of the slmplo food the chil dren eat," the United Stutes consul at Bergen, Norway, says. "Hot rolls nnd white bread are rarely seen in Sweden. Knackbrode or hard bread Is the stand ard article of food. It Is made of ground onts and rye. There is no yeaBt in the bread, and it Is rolled Into thin wafers, which are bnked and hung up where they will keep perfectly dry. Swedes eat this bread nnd drink milk for two meals a day and have one meul at which they eat meat and potatoes. Sweets are almost unknown. Children are allowed to eat candy only on state occasions." Wnr She Wanted an Introduction, "I must bare an Introduction to that woman." "Why. yes; certainly," replied hor friend, and at once brought it about Later she asked: "What mndo you so keen about meet ing Mrs. 8.? You guzed at her ns in tently as if you could not take your yes from her while you wore talking, I never found her so interesting." "Oh, I don't know whether sho is in toresttng. but didn't you see that love ly tie sho wore? I Just bad to find out bow It was mado. I know how to make one exactly like it now. . Just let me clap my eyes on anything of that sort Cor 4 few minutes and I'll reproduce it so that you never could tell the copy from the original." New York Tress, The Hainan Heart. The heart of man Is a book nay, It la an enclycopedla of everything that has ever come within the range of its personal experience. It preserves an eternal record of all the stories In which It bus played a part. It Is strange what snd things may be hidden In Its depth without giving any token of their existence. The heart may be cay and may send the smile muntllug - tii the face, but all tho while vou see only the topmost stratum. If the graves beneath were to give up their dead, the smiles would seom strangely out of place. Steel Skyscraper. An architect of New York says that with the modern steel frame a build lug can be carried to a height equal to seven and one-half times the Uluui oter of tbe base. By this rule ou an ordiuury city block could be erected a building 1,800 feet high, 500 feet higher than the Eiffel tower. It would have 125 stories and cost about 30. , O00.000. ' ' A Pointer. Brtssrs IIow do you know Mrs. Dul cet Is such a handsome woman? You sav you never saw ber. Orlggs No, but you should bear how the other women talk about ber. Bos ton Transcript . Somebody figures that there are 1.437 rtaiwUos for rheumatism. But it gets r Vs. su-Kw York World, VOLCANIC REGIONS. ThelFlretAetfrve !r u of the West rrn HcnilM'li -re. The , active Volcanic j, roups of the western lieiiilKpluTo occur In flvo wide ly scpiB-iitcd regions: h'lrst. The Andean group of volcn- uoes of the equatorial region of west ern South America. Second. Tho chain of some twenty live great cinder cones which stretch east and west across tho south end of the Mexican plateau. Third. -The Central American group, with Its thirty-one active craters, ex tending diagonally across the western ends or the east and west folds of tho Caribbean corrugations, fringing the Pnclllc side of (iimtenmln, Han Salva dor nnd Costa I'lcn. This Is separated from the Mexican group on the north by n large iioiivolennlc area, tho Isth mus of Tehuantepee, nnd nn the south from the Andean volcanoes by the Isth mus of Panama, where no nctlv vol canoes nre found. Fourth. The chain of volcanoes of the Windward Islands, marking the pastern gate of the Caribbean sen, standing In n line directly across tho eastern termini or the Caribbean moun tains, trending east nnd west niwl paral lel to the Central American group sim ilarly situated nt tho western termini. Fifth, Tho volcanoes of Alaska nnd the Aleutian Islands.-Professor Itob ert T. 11111 In Century. CI renin loon Hon, A young Yorkshire collier, nnxlons to pop the question to n girl whom he hon estly admired, but not having the cour age to ask her straight out. adopted n method of sounding her which roman tic pc pie will be Inclined to think rather too practical. "Jessie, my lass," ho an Id nervously, "Ah've Insured my life." "lias ta, lad?" said the damsel Indif ferently, "Aye, an' Ah'iu thlnkln Ah'm n fool for doln' It." "How's ta mak that art?" "Why, supposln' Ah get killed In t' pit, where does tn think t' money'U go?" "Why, to thy foythor, tor sure." "True enough, an' It nln't fnlr. It ought to bo paid to my wife." "To thy wile! Why. tlm hasn't got one, Illll." "That's Just II." cried Kill In n burst of conlldoncc. "Tlm're a nice lass, Jes sie, an' Ah want thee to have that mon ey." "Why couldn't ta say so nt fust?" cried Jessie joyfully. Then the happy couple embraced nnd trotted off to break the news to Jes sle's mother. Pearson's. Went l!lm One Hotter. A well known tiinsgow divine related the following anecdote, showing that the ready wit or a countryman was more than a match ror him: He was going to the country ror his holidays and was In a railway train when ii young mau entered. In a short time the two commenced a conversa tion. In tho course or which tho clergy man nsked tho youth what be worked at. "I uin n coupler, sir," was the reply. "A coupler! So am I," replied the clergyman with n In ugh. Tho youth looked at hi in tor a min ute or so, then burst Into a lit or laugh ter and said: "Oh, I see: ye'r n meenls ter. Ye many tolks. Hut 1 pnng far ther than yo due. I bnlth couple and uncouple." Tho clergyman laughed heartily and acknowledged thnt tho youth had the better of the sally. Mun'e GreateM Enemy, "Fatigue Is one or tho greatest ene mies or tho human race," says a writer In Atuslee's.' "Modern physiology shows that It Is tho cause or ucarly half and perhaps moro or tho several huudred culalogued diseases that prey upon man. In our age, with Its high pres sure, lis hot and bitter competition nnd the unrelenting struggle ror survival. Its moral and physical ravages are steadily Increasing. Cities, In which an ever larger proportion or our peo ple dwell, are biological hothouses nnd, for some, furnaces, forcing develop ment prematurely and encouraging Into hours and excitement and consum ing nerve and brain." Correeted Ills Error. With the Ucrnmus the abscntmlnd ed college proressor Is a stock source or witticisms. One or these deeply nbsorbed gentle men, sitting on a rear seat, thought ho knew u person sitting in trout and was about ta speak to blm when, tbe stran ger by chance turning u little, the pro ressor saw that he wus mlHtiiken. Nevertheless, touching him ou the shoulder, he remarked politely: "You will excuse me. but you nre not the person I thought you wore." Philadelphia North American.' Spiteful. "Yes," said the engaged girl. "Dick Is very methodical. Uo gives uie ouo kiss when he comes and two wbon he goes nwny," "That's ul wuys been his way," re turned her dearest friend. "I've heard lots of girls comment on It." Thus It happens that they cease to apeak to each other. Bauy Uliiuuoel. Airs. Fondmu Sorry to disturb you ut this hour, doctor, but we can't Im agine what alls the child. Doctor Cold, perhaps. Did you huvu him out today? Mrs. I'or.diua-Yes: but only to bis grandmother s. Doetor-Ah! Overfed: that's all. Philadelphia Press. , v Iron Is seveu times as heavy as wa ter, bulk for bulk, and gold nlnetosu time. A MAN AGAINST A NATION. The Most Curlon Bnrnpean Wnf Thnt Kver Wan Waved. The most curious European war ever waged was that which in tho sixteenth century, tho period of the reformation nnd tho renaissance, was carried ou single handed for between live nnd six years between n bankrupt grocer of Hcrlln and the elector of Saxony, who was the most powerful Ocrmnii prince of the period. The grocer's niimo was linns Kohlhnse, nnd tho tmmedlato cause ot the quarrel was tho nrrestlng or two of tils horses In the elector's territory, he being n subject of tho elector of Ilrnndciiburg. Falling to get redress, he adopted what was then a perfectly legnl expedient nnd declared formal war or. tho realm pf Saxony. The declaration was accepted In due form, nnd the war began. Tho extraordinary pint of the story Is that the grocer kept the war up for nearly six years practically single handed nnd even went to the extremity ot declaring war on his own sovereign J n the meantluie before he was caught. Ho burned rarms and oven villages. Mnployed mercenaries nrter the fashion or the times and made hlmseir the ter ror or tho district. Ho was finally In llueiiced to stop hostilities by I.utber, nnd nrter he had taken tho sacrament from bis hands he was betrayed Into n further act of hostility by treachery nnd. being captured, suffered death on the wheel nfter refusing an act of grace which granted him the painless nnd honorable dentil of the sword. Tho story Is perhaps the strangest of nil tho romances of that romantic ngn. tie Snw the Joke. Here Is n true story or n curious per sonality well known to many prores slonnl men In London today: He Is n Scot, whose business ability Is nbove tho overage, but everything he does Is done with the air ot a man constantly wrestling with some problem or tho soul. He rarely speaks unless spoken to. He never smiles, nnd his eyes have a fixed but Intense expression. One day he was returning to London with several companions. The whole par ty were Scotch, but the companions were or genlnl type. One or them told a humorous tale, over which the rest laughed uproariously. Not so the hu man problem. He sat in n corner or the railway carriage glowering nt bis mirthrul friends. Half an hour after ward, however, when nil were standing at a street corner before separating ho took one aside and said solemnly and slowly: "Ye would ohsalrve that I did nn' laugh at yond' story. Well, I suw tho Joke. Ye might not think It, but I hnve a keen seiiBe of humor." London News. An IniposHlble Tnsk The committee waited upon tho suc cessful man. "Your fame has preceded yon," they said its he entered the room. He smiled serouely. "I am rather well known," ho admitted modestly. "You have given uiimes to sleeping cars, new cigars, health foods nnd games names that have pleased the public and your patrons?" 'Hie successful man bowed. "Well," said the spokesman, "we have a new baby nt our house, nnd we have come to you to select n unmo thnt will please her parents, sisters and broth ers, grandparents, cousins, uncles, mints nnd friends or the family nnd herself later ou." The successful man frowned sternly. "Sir," he said, "1 do not undertake the Impossible!" Cincinnati Commer cial Tribune. Telllnv the Weather from Mints, Tho motion or mists, rapid or slow, was regarded us one or tho best meth ods of foretelling the approach or rain or snow. When there wns n mist bo fore the rise of the full moon, If clouds were seen In the west before tho sun roso or there was u mist in the fields before sunrise, wet weather wus ex ported. When the mists vanished rap idly and the moon seemed to rise fast er than usual, line weather was Biiro to gladden tbe bcurts of tho merryiuak ors on the succeeding day. When tho winds changed nnd the clouds flew along on "tall," tho farmers predicted a storm. Railroad Time Polders. The average person who picks up a railroad time folder docs not realize tho enormous amount of work which tho preparation or such a publication Involves. The big Burlington system, ror In stance, bus a general time folder made up from sixteen different division time tables. Tbe toldcr contains 2,00(1 names or towns, gives the schedules or over 500 trains, and whenever there Is u change in time 00,000 figures hnvo to be carefully checked and corrected. No Smoking-. Tbero Is ono country In the world Where it is considered u crime to smoke Abyssinia. The low forbidding to bacco dates from the year 101'.'. It was nt first merely Intended to prevent priests from smoking In the churches, but it will taken too literally, and now adays even foreigners huvu to be care ful not Jo be scon smoking. Conceded It, "There's n burglar in the house, Ben jamin," said Mrs. Frett, arousing her husband In tho dead or the morning. "Hoar that?" sho continued. "It's sure ly the sound or n chisel. He's a sure burglar." "Ypu bet he Is," sleepily returned Benjamin, turning over ror another imp. Richmond Dispatch, Coiilri'l't Improve the lletliud. Mrs, CUugsvnter I'd be ashamed ta sleep In church the way you do. Mr. Cnugwnter-I can't help It. It's tba only way I know bow to sleep. Chicago Tribune. A Dampen, ( A young man bashfully approached J a popular clflchil a few dnya ui'.o il.il ! said: . "Judge, 1 have come to ask jn.ir nd vice. You have always been like n f;.' ther to hip, and I have now coi,.e to you In n very Important mnttt-r. I nui I thinking of getting inniiied" "Well, young inaii," Interrupted If- Judge, "If yon nre thinking of getting married go do It right nwny. Pon t wait, because the girl might not h Willing this tlmo tomorrow." "Hut, you see," protested the youth. "I'm afraid I'm not nble to take cure of her." "Tut, tut," deprecntlngly retorted the Judge. "Why, when I got married 1 was twenty-one years old nnd $1,8011 In debt." "Is that so?" exclaimed the other, with happy encouragement gleaming from his eye. "And I suppose you must now be worth about" "And now," concluded the Judge, "I'm only $,'1.(IIH) In debt." The young man has not yet married. Ptidiicah (Ivy.) Sun, African Sunken, The African cobra Is regarded some what reverently by the natives of that country, who once n year kill a cobru de capiilo and hang Its skin to the branch of n tree, tall downward. Then nil the children born during the last year are brought out nnd made to touch the skin. This the parents think i puts them under the serpent's protec tion. The cobra de capcllo divides with the honied viper of Africa the ques tionable honor of being the "worm or Hie Nile," to whoso venomous tooth Cleopatra's death was due. The Kaffirs use the venom of t'i!s snake's cousin, the puff adder, to poi son their arrows, and when they have nny small quantity left they swallow It, having n theory that It will protect them from tho bad effect of future bites. The Snake tribe of the Pmi.'ah say that the bites or snakes do not h;:rt them, and If they llml a dead serpent thoy dress It In clothes mid give it u superb funeral. A Simple Cure For I'lii-nclie. "I am afraid I have greatly Inter fered with my own practice." said a celebrated amist, "by giving the fol lowing advice to many of my Mends: "At tho llrst symptoms of earache let the patient Ho on tho bed with the painful ear i.ppermoBt. Fold a thick towel mid tuck It around the neck: then with a teaspoon fill the ear with warm water. "Continue doing this ror firteen or twenty minutes. The water will 1111 the ear orifice and How over on the towel. Afterward turn over tho head, let tbe water run out nnd plug the car with warm glycerin nnd cotton. "This may bo done every hour until relief Is obtained. It is an almost In varl a Mo euro and has saved many cases of acute Inllannnatlon. Tho wa ter should bo quite warm, but not too hot" London Tlt-Klts. Gettliilt the Klnu'e Rnr. Tho gentle art of speeding a parting guest Is not new. Tho story rroni Hert fordshire, us told In the "Victoria Coun ty History" series, reveals the method tried on King James I. Hunting bad taken the place of state affairs In the monarch's afreet Ions, n,ud one morning a favorite hound was missing. The dog appeared the next day, bearing a mes sage tied to his neck: "Good Mr. Jowl cr, wo pray you speak to the king for us (he hearing you every day und so doth not us) that it will pleuse his maj esty to go buck to London, for else the country will be undone, all our pro visions spent already," Curly llnlr. Persons with naturally curly bnlr are said to bo possessed or more lova ble nnd sweet natures than those with wiry or straight cuplllary adornment. On most occasions tho fact that we uro looking our best Is a wonderful In centive to good behavior, mid tho wo man with natural curls can discount her straight haired sister many u time and oft. Sho knows It. Why should sho not be amiable? Straight hair was considered by tho undents ns a mark or the gods' dlsplcusure. Hair which was straight before sickness will some times grow curly ufterwurd. What He Wrote On. "Hello, Starveling! IIow Is litera ture?" "First rate." "Writing anything now?" ' "Yes, a book." "Whuton?"' "An empty stomach principally. You couldn't lend me the price or u dinner, could you?" Plensunt For the Lover, In Mexico the young men can show great utteiitlou to young ladles and ut very little expense. They uro there fore quito eager to Invito them to t Ilea tors, parties, etc. And no wonder, for it Is the custom in thut country ror the lady's rather to pay for the tickets and furnish tbe curriugo, supper, etc. Shifting; the Reponlblllt)-. An Iiishmuu who trud.-d in small wares kept a donkey cart, with which he visited the different villages. Ou one occaslou he cume to a bridge where a toll was levied. He found to his disappointment he had not enough money to pay It. A bright thought struck blm. Uo uu harnessed the donkey and put it into the cart. Then, getting between the shafts himself, he pulled the cart with the donkey standing In It on to tho brldgo. In due course be was bulled by the toll collector. "Ucy, nianl" cried the latter, "Whaur's your toll?" "Begorra," said the Irishman, "just ask tbe drolver." hArdV sUwaroff; Peculiarities ot One ot Raeela'S Great Military Commander, SuwnrofT, Itussln's grent mllltnry commander, wns n little man, Insignifi cant In everything but thnt Intangible power of mind and character with which physical strength Is never to bo compared. He had been sickly In his youth, but became hardy under ths stimulus of cold bathing nnd the bene fits or n fcinlii diet. Duckets or cold wnter were thrown over blm In the morning, nnd bis table wns served wit li fare which guests would fain have re fused, but dared not lest he should think them effeminate, lie despised dress nnd delighted In drilling bis men In shirt sleeves, sometimes with hi stockings literally "down nt the heel." Hut his hardihood of life nnd action had Ms effect on the men he command ed. He wns often up and about by midnight and would salute the llrst soldier whom he snw moving with a piercing cockcrow In commendation of Ills early rising. Muring the first Po lish war ho had given orders for an attack at cockcrow, nnd a spy In tho ramp carried tho news to tho enemy. The attack, however, really took place nt 0 o'clock In the evening, when the nrrnngement had been made, for Ruwaroff, suspecting treachery, hnd then turned out l'ls troops by his well known crowing. The enemy, expect ing the event In the morning, wero en tirely unprepared und fell ensy victims to his forethought. "Tomorrow morning," said he to bis troops on the evening before the storm ing of Ismail, "nn hour beforo day break 1 menu to get up. I shall wnsti and dress myself, say my prayers, give one good cockcrow nnd then capturo Ismail." Cnrlon Trnnnlntton Hrrom. Some amusing errors are made by translators. An Italian paper turned Kipling's "Abseiitmlnded Ileggnr" Into n "Distracted Mendicant." Another Italian editor who translated u pas sage from an English paper about n mau who had killed his wife with a poker added an Ingenious footnote to say, "We do not know with certainty whether this thing 'pokero' ben domes tic or surgical Instrument." The des perate expedient of tho French trans lator of Cooper's "Spy," who had to explain bow n horse could be hitched "to a locust," Is worth recalling. Ho hnd never beard of locust trees nnd rendered the word by "sauterelle," or grasshopper. Feeling that this needed some explanation, he nppendiHl a foot note explaining that grasshoppers grew to a gigantic size In the United States and that It was the custom to place a stuffed specimen nt the door or every mansion ror tho convenience or visitors, who hitched their horses to It The Blnejnr. One may pet or patronize, according to olio's nature, u chipping sparrow, bluebird or pluebe, but he is Indeed well coated with Beir esteem who docs not reel a sense or Inferiority In the presence or n Jay. He Is such n shrewd. Independent und aggressive creature that ouo Is Inevitably led I the heller that be Is more or a succci s as a bird than most men are as men Conspicuous by voice und action din ing the rail nnd winter, when other birds are quietest, he becomes silent when other birds are most vocal. If be has a love song. It Is reserved ror the ear or his mate, At this seuson he even controls his fondness ror owl baiting mid with It his vituperative gifts. The robin, the catbird and the thrasher seem eager to betray the loca tion of their nests to every passerby, but the blucjay gives no evidenco of the site of his habitation by being seen In Its vicinity. Frank M. Chapman In Century. A Preenclona Diplomatist. Itoy Oh. uinmmn, 1 upset the salt cellar over my clean clothes. Mamma -Thnt was careless. Uo nnd brush the salt off, and see you don't soli the clothes. "But, mamma, when any ono spills suit they have n quarrel, don't they?" "So they suy." "Well, then, If they don't spill the salt they don't have a quarrel. Jsn't that so?" "Yes, that Is so. But why do you ask?" "Well, because, mamma, It wasn't ie suit I split; It wus tho ink." leul and Kuowledve, The Outlook crowds nn unusuul amount or practlcul wisdom and good sense Into the following paragraph: "Zeal without knowledge, often con demned. Is more valuable tbnu knowl edge without zeal, often commended, for zeul without knowledge inspires lire, and lire acquires knowledge; but knowledge without zeul sits In Its study, plays with Its books and does nothing. All the greatest things In life have been accomplished by enthusi asts whose seal was greater than their knowledge." A Dnnlnese Head. "You lent him the money to buy that mule from you?" "Yasslr," answered Mr. Erastus link Icy. "It doesn't look tike business, but It were sech a good chunce to get de bes' of de trade dat I couldn' be'p ad vancln' de cash." Washington Star. Queening! at It, "Gaaiblur? Well, rather! Why. he's so crazy over games of chance that ho patronizes a restaurant where they 'print tbe bill of fure In French, and bs doesn't know a word or tbe language," Chicago Post The greatest rest conies from free dom of nilnd. We can keep our minds free If we will but learn how. . Lot them take up one thing at a time and b oontent metaphor of The sea. t'erm Aoi l iH-1 f."C lie Wale Tlmt Are Very l.i. -Mlre. "Let Hie p.'.t l.i 1. 1.,' cm." ; aid n (i. Melon ii ns he Joined three of his ue qualiitulio s In t!.: hir.cl euro thy other night and took n real at a table with iiieni. "That Is n hn-.it the twentieth meta phor of that sort that I have heard to night," itiiHWrrcd one of tho other, "and It see:ns so strange that wo should burrow so many or our figures from the sea. I never thought of It be fure, bid If in curious. I hnvo nevef been el is. ly associated with the wnter, nnd I don't believe any of us have, nnd yet we nre using sea tonus ull or the, time. Tiny are wonderfully pxpress Ive, too. and I don't know what we would do without them. "You want to put In 'your our, a mo ment ego some one talked nbout being 'nil adrift. and I ndmltted that I wns 'at sea.' We t:i!U about our 'weather eye,' belli;; 'spliced,' our 'mainstay' and nil tin t r.ort of stuff. We know what It Is to 'east an anchor to windward,' to 'back nnd fill.' to 'steer' through, to be 'taken nliiick' nnd to have 'tho wind taken out of our sails.' "We spin n yarn, try 'the other tack, 'launch' enterprises, get them 'under fttll sail' and orten 'wreck' them. We cry ror 'any port In a storm,' 'bike In n rcer,' get to our 'rope's end,' 'run before tho wind' nnd sometimes 'keel over.' So It gees on until I be lieve we can talk about almost every thing In the language of tho sea." St Louis Republic. C'linoRlnn ft Mlnlnter. The parish kirk or Driechton bad been rather unfortunate In Its minis ters, two of them having gone off In decline within n twelvemonth of their appointment, und now, nrter hearing a number of candidates for the vacancy, the member were looking forward with keen Interest to the meeting nt which the election of tho new minister was to take place. "Wool, Marget," nsked one female parishioner of another ns thoy fore gathered on tho road one day, "whn are you guun to vote for?" "I'm Just thlnkln' I'll vote for none o' them. I'm no' muckle o' n Judge, nn' It'll he the safest plan," was Mar get's sagacious reply. "Toots, woman, if that's tbe way o't vote wl' me." "An' lino ure you guun to vote?" "I'm gaun to vote for the man that I think has the soundest lungs an' '11 no' bother ns wl' deeln' again In a hur ry." Scottish American. An Odd Dlnh. Mix boiled hog's lard and milk with thick gruel. Stir It well together, with fresh cheese, yolks of eggs nnd brains. Wrap It In n fragrant fig lenf nnd boll In the gravy or a chicken or a kid. When taken out. remove the lear and souse it In n potful or boiling honey. Tho name or tills comestible Is derived from the fig leaf, but tbe mixture con sists or equal parts or each, but rather more eggs, bpcause this glvps It con sistency. This appears to have been a popular dish among the Greeks. To us It seems about ns nice us nn oyster eaten with brown sugar. Aristophanes mentions n thlruin of K::lt fish and n thlruin or rat. In the "Frogs" there Is a dismal Joke In the form or a reasonable objection mndo to leaping from a high tower, "I would lose twti llg leaves or brain." The word occurs no less than twelve times In the fragments of the comic poets. The f.'ouiveti. A story was told the other day of a little glii who discovered a cobweb and then, seeing a spider emerge from It, called out: "See tho cob run! How fast the cob runs!" As a mutter of fact she bullded better than she knew, tor cob, or cop. Is, according to the dic tionaries, the name sometimes given to a spider; whence the word cobweb, which Is, strictly speaking, copweb. Cop In this sense Is probably nil abbre viation or tho Anglo-Saxon nttercoppe, n spider. Odd Reeordn. liecords are kept with knotted cords In Polynesia. Paring the curly pnrt of the nineteenth century and previously the olllcliil taxgatberers on the Island of Hawaii, In the Sandwich group, did all their accounts on a rope 2,400 feet long, which was divided Into lengths, each correspond!!!: to a district Loops, knots nnd feathers tied along the rope served ns memoranda for the hogs, pigs i nil pieces of saudulwood col lected from taxpayers. I.anarnnure. "It's wonderful," sold the meditative man. "hew one small word. Insignifi cant In Itself, may Induce an endless ; train of thought, spenklng volumes. In I act." I "Yes." replied the cuustlc man. "Tak the word 'but.' for Instance, when a woman says, or course. It's none of my business, but' "Exchange. The t'e of Dread on Water. A lour or bread Is a favorite talis- ' iuuii for locating n drowned body In tuoRt Fumpean countries. Sometimes It Is found sufficient of Itself, some times It needs the uld or some other substance. Thus In England the loaf ! Is usTially wrlghted with quicksilver. Notes and Queries. A l.lltie Honvh on Ha. , i DaughterThe mini I marry must bo u brave man. ' Father He will be If be marries you while your mother Is living. New York Press. He I So Hypocrite, Tom Are you going to wear mourn ing (or your wealthy uucle? Jack Only a black pocket book. Chi cago News. BEARb8 AN D GLASSES. twa Ornament That Are llarels Ffnnd t'pon Hotel Walter. "Ever see a waiter wearing glasses?" demanded the Inquisitor. No one could remember, nltbotiah Just why a waiter should not be seen with glasses as well as any other man was not apparent. "It's Just like the wearing of benrds," wont on tho Inquisitor. "The proprie tors of our Important hotels, restau rants and cafes will not permit cither beard or glnsses to be worn by their waiters. It I possible thnt In omn old fashioned family or commercial hotel the servitor mny be found with their nose straddled by opt lent helps, but you won't find 'em along Broad way. "Now, this I n fact worthy of note because In every other calling In life the number of persons wearing glasses Is on the Increase, and even In our schools a considerable percentage of very small children will be round wearing glasses, and while, as I any, hotel, restaurant nnd care proprietors nre opposed to the glasses, still I hnve seldom round a waiter whose eyes In dicated that be was In tbe slightest need or them. "You may nrgue thrft restaurant waiters nre generally young men. Grant you thnt Instnntly, but all the same thousands or men or similar age hove to wear them In almost every other occupation. "The majority of those servitors commence In boyhood, and tho demand of their vocation cnuses no strain on the eyesight. Consequently thnt mny account In n measure for the absence of any necessity ror the use of specs. Moreover, tho steam from hot viands would render them useless probably." New York Telegram. UU Hot Hole. They were discussing the amateur theatricals of the previous evening, nnd Thcspls wns bewailing the bnrd luck thnt hnd brought on a violent headache nnd prevented his nppenr nnee. ' "Do yon know, old boy," he sold con fidentially, "that was to hnve been the effort of my lire. I hnd tho love scene down fine, nnd Mildred's heart must have been or stone ir she railed to see that I wn In earnest. I wns willing to stake everything on the result, ror I wns confident she would accept me the moment the curtain went down. And to think thnt my usual hard luck would step In Just when nil my hopea were nbout to be realized!" "1 heard Mildred refer to your non appearance," remarked Fayer. "You did? And what did she sny?" "Snld yon performed on act of char ity by not coining on." It Pnxled llliu. It Is snld of a runner Marquis of Townshend that when young nnd en gaged In battle he snw n drummer nt his side killed by a cannon bull which scnttered his brain In every direction. Ills eyes were ut once fixed ou tho ghastly object, which seemed to en gross Ids thoughts. A superior officer observing him supposed bo wns Intim idated ut the sight nnd addressed him In a manner to cheer bis spirits. "Oh!" snld the young marquis, with calm ness, but severity. "I nm not frightened. I nm puzzled to make out how any man with such a quantity of brains ever came to be here!" Too Trne to lie Profltnhle. "IIow about that historical novel?" asked the publisher. "No good at nil." answered the rend er to whom It had been assigned. "Tho ninn doesn't nnderstund how to wiito historical novels, and be hasn't pervert ed the truth as we know It enough to make any kind of a rumpus among tho critics. His book would fall u.it" Chicago Post. Two Rnlilee For a Cent. A novel poster wns seen by n recent sojourner in Novo Scotia. It was print ed on rough paper with red pnlnt. In a childish band, and wns tacked to n tel egraph pole In a conspicuous position: "There will be a concert and tnlr In Mrs. Parson's sitting room today at 2 o'clock sharp. Admission-adults. 5 cents; children, 2 cents; babies, two for a cent" Sllttlna: Tree Bark. When a young fruit or shade tree stops growing and looka as If It were about to give up the, struggle ror ex istence, the trouble may orten be traced to Its being bnrkbound. In this case a long perpendicular slit In the bark will enable It to resume Its natural growth. A Simple Matter, "John, I'd like you to wake me at Q o'clock tomorrow morning. I want to catch tbe eurly trnlu." "All right, sir; all right." replied the Ible servitor expressively; "all you got lo do, sir, is to rlng."-PhllndolpUla North American. A Bright Student. Among tbe reminiscences of the class of '02 at Yale is tbe story of a stout and healthy looking member who was told by his tutor that "he was better fed than taught." "You teach me. . 1 feed myself," was the retort Bit Resrret. Judge Your Innocence Is proved. You are acquitted. Prisoner (to the Jury) Very sorry. Indeed, gentlemen, to have given you III this trouble for nothing. Consoling; Thouarht. - 1 He Darling, l have lost my position. She Never mind, dear. Think of hove mall your salary was. Brooklyn Lire. Some people take care of their moa j and neglect their stomachs. AtctuV Km Globs, J
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers