It In cstlinntcd Hint free rural tnnll delivery In Increasing the vnluo of limtl In Colorado, whore It In In opera Cun, $3 mi ncro. Tin' new telescope In l'nrls brings tin' iniMin within iipptirent lltnnM of nliont 'M tulles. It Ih nut described ns n tli'Mlni I li iIiii'p of residence. It In ronunon practice fur hotel landlords to cause unwelcome guests to ten vp. A Kentucky Judge linn Just decided Hint when n person Iiiih boon nilmltliMl ns n guest In1 riinnot be ejected. When nil tlic sea seriieiit. school-of-whnlen nml snake stories run out those ilnyn wp mi always rely mi our olil frloiiil tin" queer freak of 11 light ning holt .Mil I' to vn-.v the nionoloiiy of existence. The close of tilt' nineteenth century In Idontlllod with iniiiiy now inothisls of combating disease. Tuberculosis, which bun hitherto I'liilini'it such nml tltudcs of victims. Ih yielding to the opeiinlr trentineiit, mill now then' seems to lie some hope tlint llio ili'i'inl lnnliiily know n nn cancer will bo foinnl to lie niiii'iiiiliU' to treatment. Household Scll'IICP will SOIIII 1 10 taught In n practical way nt thp Atliin tu university, ii model house being con structed fur tin' purpose, lledrooinn for IS students, with klliiii'ti, dining room nml sowing rooms, nro included In tin- structure. Tin students will carry on t lie work of the house under import Instruction, needlework, laun dering mill nursing being Included In tlic curriculum. Tin- successful merchant known tlinl lioxt In Importance to hiivlng what people wnnt In telling tln-iu tlint ho can gratify tliolr donlivn. Tin same care tlint In used in getting or making thing for tho public to liny should be devot oil to tin? propnrntlon of tho newspnpet nnnouni'oniont concerning tho same. The innn w ho know n what lie In talking nliont run iilwnyg iiiiiko mi Impression, roninrkn tho riillmlolpliiu Hooord. Tho (Irani! Ilovuo, of Klhenstock, In grontly dlsturlM-d on necouut of Ainorl rnn commercial enterprise. "Even Kuropo Is not snfo against tho In union of Ainorlonn goods. Itusnln, Praneo, Ciormnny, nml Italy ninnt pay trllnito. aPnglund homolf liuyn Ainorl rnn, locomotive, ntoii rnlln, pnporwnro, rnllrond roaches, nnd ovon ronl. Shef field, tho homo of tho fieri Induntry, linn Im'oii dothronod liy Pittsburg. It would ho frivolity Itnolf to romiiln In different to tho expansion of thin lo Tint him people." An n mining on mp Capo Noino In now prononneod a fnllnre, with no future lioforo It except priictlrnl uban donmeiit. Itn nliort record will 1)0 composed nuilnly of n recitation of In cident connected with murder nnd Hiniillpox, n poor romilt for nn ndven tnro no nrdiioiiH. Whatever gold Itn sands nnd lilllown inny hide seems guarded ly dragons like thono wbkil in old diiyn kept watch over tho golden npplen. The far northern capo stands n good chance of remaining a place of evil memory among gold Becker for a loug time to come. Tho Chinese rrnftlnosn, their guile. tliolr talent for lying, Impresses Itnolf upon the nvorngo foreigner. Hut others doclnro that thin 1b only con ventlomil or strategic liniuornlity. Clilnnuinn do not Ho to ouch other, but only to the foreigner, who In nn enemy. Ho enn bo ensily deceived, therefore It U Just an right to deceive him ns it would bo nny other foe that you wnnt to get tho better of. In business, some sny, the Chinese nro Just as truthful nnd honest an any other nationality. Hun dreds of people In California feel more confidence In him thnn they do In American denlers, while ho Is tho fro fjuont victim of American extortion and fraud. And so It goes, i ' Tatent biscuits are offered by a Lon don company ns the solution of cer tain difficult feeding problems cu land end nea. A biscuit or pellet, It Is suid, contains the nutriments of a quurtor of a pound of beef or a hnlf pint of cream, nnd needs only to be dissolved In boiling water to bo pala table. It Is asserted that nn nrmy ,lu the field can thus carry provisions In Its pockets. The old Idea that a square meal might bo spread on por ous planter nnd absorbed through the skin may yet bo renlizod. At any rate, a young woman wbo could cat noth ing was kept alive for a year on nutri tious baths. Another advonco Is re ported from New Orleans, where a Chinaman lias succeeded In drying oysters so that they will keep Indefi nitely mi without losing their flrsi Cavor. J THE LAST WORD. J "I pnrtlctilnrly object lo the whole thing." "Hut why?" persisted .loan, mi ungry flush upon lier pretty face. "Surely you limit have sonm reason for your nbsitrd, tyrannical objection." "1 hnvo already ("Id yon my rea son," he nnswered shortly, and In tho effort to keep bin temper under con trol bin voice sounded hard mid cold. "Von cannot ex t mo lo believe that you nro foolish enough to make all thin fuss became I shall have to wenr n short dress. Why, my part re ipilres It. Kuncy it is'iisaiit In a train!" Thin wnn said Willi n scornful III tie IiiiikIi that was meant to, and did. sting Prank Clements Into answer ing hastily "You know perfectly well what my chief reason Is. 1 inn disappointed In you. Joan; I llioimlit that you wove truthful nnd open -" "Truthful mid open!" broke In .loan. ThoiiRh her tone wan Indignant, even delimit, the girl knew In her heart that she had not been as candid with hliu upon tills matter as she ouht to hnvo been; but thin knowledge only Hindi! her tho more mmi'.v with her self ami him. "If you think me otherwise-" "How con I help It. Yon prom ised -" "I inaile no promise." "Not In wolds, perhaps, but I understood-" "Kenlly. I cannot bo held iieeoiinl nble for all Hint you iinilerslaml, or fancy you understand." "I understood," he repeated firmly, "Unit you would give In to my wishes in this matter." Joan Dudley and Prank Clement were a Ilia need lovers, and were III reality sincerely allacl "d to one an other; but .loan was yuiuig and wilful, a spoilt child, llnltcivil and In dulged, nnd so necustoiiicd to bnve her own way that sin could not brook the slightest opposition lo her wishes, nml considered that. If Prank really loved her as much ih ho pro fessed to do, ho would give in to her every whim. lint Prank Clements wan a mini who held strong mid decided opinions upon what wan right mid lilting, especially In regard to women, slid had openly expressed tho wish that Joan should take no part In some private theatricals thut were being "got tip" by tho Pnlinem, neighbors of tho Dudleys, nml hud given bin rea sons to Joan, the principal one of which wan that he had a particular dislike to the uiun who wan to lake tho principal character, and would, If Joan noted, play tho part of lief lover. "Knugstcr Is n cad," Prank had said. In Ills moHt decided tones; "not nt nil tho sort of person Unit I should llko to boo you on friendly terms with." "But I nood not bo friendly with him, Prank." "It In impossible to help It, In a thing of thin sort. Ilcllcvc me, dar ling, that I hnvo good reason for iny dislike to your Joining them." "Very well; perhaps. If you uro very good nnd nice, I won't." At thin sweet concession, which ho looked upon nn good as u promise, Prank wnn delighted; nnd when, a day or two later, ho went up to town on business that could not he post poned, ho wns under the huppy delu sion tlint this wilful lit tin lady lovo had given up her own wishes In def erence to his; for, splto of her wilful ness, the girl had a true nnd loving heart and a sweet nature, that nil tho spoiling and indulgence, had not de stroyed. Tho day following her lover's de parture, Joan drove over to call upon tho Palmers, to tell tliem that nho could not take tho part assigned to her, and had hoped to And them alone; but on entering tho drawing room found quite a large party as sembled, all of whom were busily and eagerly discussing tho characters and dresses of the forthcoming play. The excitement aud Intercut of tho preparations that were going on so busily helped the girl to put aside the kinder nnd better feelings tlint would Intrude themselves, splto of tho flat teries nnd prnlseg that were so lavishly bestowed upon her looks and ber noting praises tlint wero very pleasant to the spoiled girl, who liked to think herself the centra of attraction, and to be told thnt without ber the piny would be a failure. In her letters to Frank, Joan had snld that Laura wouldn't henr of her giving tip the part of Amaryllis, but she added nothing further upon tho subject, so thnt it had been a surprise as well as a disappointment to him to find, on his return to Itosomouut. thnt Joan was although she know of his coming spending the day at the Palmers'. "Joan wonld not have gone todny, but, unfortunately. It was their first dress rehearsal," Mrs. Dudley told him. "And she couldn't resist going to see It," bo answered, trying to bldo his disappointment and anuoyance. "She bad to go, for hers Is tho prln ripu! pnrt. Between ourselves, Frank, I shall be glad when the whole thing Is veil over, for I do not care for some of the people Laura bus got to help her." Then, catching sight of his face, asked, anxiously, "Did Joan not tell your That Miss Palmer wished her to take a part? Yes; buf not that she bad agreed to do so." "Lr.ir was very pressing about the matter; and yon know, Prank, there Is ao real barm Id the tiling. Yon do Vet object to acting?" . . "Not In the slllitesl; on tli u- trnry, I mil very hind of It. Hut, like yourself, I object, to snine of Minn Palmer's friends." "I e,is'ot she meant to surprise yon, Frank." "It certainly In odd." he nnswered, quietly, thou turned the eon versa! Inn to other mutters; nnd Mm, Dudley hoped that she bad boon mistaken in thinking that he wan annoyed, for she both liked nnd respected her future sun In law, ami was thankful that her child had chosen so wisely mid well, for .loan's wiiriil ways oft on lllled tho fond, weak mother's heart with iilivlmm fear. "Why did yen Hot toil me, .loan 7" he asked, reproachfully, when they wero alone Ingot her. "I did tell .von that 1 .a nrn would not hear of my giving It up." "And Laura's wishen are more to you than mine." "Don't bo cross with me. Prank, Hip very llrst time wo mo together, after all these days," she said, softly. Then, ns he made no answer, her manner changed. "I caiiiiot help II If you dis approve," she said curtly. "You will please lo understand In the future that I decline to obey illireasonablo eoni iiiands. I have premised Linira -anil Mr. HnngNter- to net. and I menu to keep my promise." Then, as no an swer was made to this speech, she went on passionately, "I am not your wife yet. nml, If Ibis Is tho sort of treatment I am to expect, hope I never shall be." "I in, voit moan that, .loan?" "Yes; If yon expect tup to be your slave." "I have no wish I'nr Unit: bill 1 cer tainly hope thnt my wishes will be of more conseipieuce lo you than those of mere strangers."' "Anil what about my wishes? Are I hey to count for liollilugV We have made a mistake. I give you back your liberty, unit claim my own." Prank Clements' face grow while mid net, mid .loan hardly recognized his voice when, after a pause, ho said, "Ih that your last word, .loan?" Tho girl hesitated, half frightened at the effect of her words. Then came the thought, "Do loves mo too well to give me up," so. with an angry, wil ful gesture Joan turned away with tho one word, "Yes," mid walked to the window. At the sound of the nciilng door she looked round, Just In time to see It close behind her lover, and the night recalled her to her senses. "Prank!" she cried, t-piingliig to wards It, "Priiiik. I did not mean It." Hut she wan too late. I Ier w ords were unheard. Pre she could reach tho hall Prank Clements had left the house, without one word or look of farewell, nnd Joan was alone. "He will come back," tho girl told herself; bur ns each day passed nml her lover neither came nor wrote, Joan's heart grew sad. mid heavy with fear and misery, nnd slid realized how deep mid strong wan ber lovo for the man, "whose wife," she had said In her wilful anger, "she hoped she would never become." lint, calling pride to her aid, the girl spoke no word, gave no sign of tho misery she was enduring, nor did she throw up her part In the theatricals. On tho contrary, she entered into the prepara tions wltli eager excitement, mid wan to nil appearance full of gaiety and en joyment, accepted .Mr. Sangsier'n com pliments nntlnttcutlous with an almost reckless dellmice, and to her mother's gentle pleadings and remonstrances turned a deuf car. "No It Is all over and ended," said Joan, In a tone almost of relief, as she and Mr. Knugstcr stood alone together In tho temporary green-room, after re ceiving the applause ami congratula tions that bad been culled forth by the success of tho play a success nuilnly duo to tho acting of Miss Dudley and Mr. Knugstcr. so suid tho audience, "Tho play," bo answered, drawing nearer to her; "but not the reality of our happiness; that they only begun, Jonn," putting, nn ho spoke, bin arm around her wulst, nnd imprinting a light kisn on her chock; but ere bo could nny another word Joan had flung herself free, and wnn demanding, with blazing eyen, "How he dared to Insult her?" "Dared! Why Jonn!" with a laugh, "I should have lieen n lnggart Indeed If, nftor all tho encouragement you have given" "I gave you encouragement!" gasped the girl, horror-stricken at the effects of her folly. Then, drawing herself up proudly, "You forget that you speak to Frank Clements, ntllanced wife." "It In not easy to remember," be re plied, with a smile, "when tho nlHanced busbnnd goes off for nn in definite time, and not alone," tueunlng- iy- "For nn Indefinite time! Not alone! Whut do you nicun?" ' "And without telling his lady-love, apparently. Is It any wonder If she consoles herself In his absence as you have done, my fair Amaryllis," added ho, drawing nearer to her once more; hut she waved hi in bnck with a look that m n do him not only pause, but feel decidedly uncomfortable. "Mr. Bnngster, I do not know If there Is any truth In what you say about Mr, Clements' movements, but I do know that I am well punlthed for the mlstike I have made In thinking and treating you as a gentleman." Ho token abnek wns Mr, Sangster by the girl's words, and the manner In which they bnd been spokeu, that lie wns at loss for an answer; ere be could find one, Joan bad left tbe room, stunned mid bcwlltlcrpd by the no expected news of Prank's departure, crushed nml humiliated by the Insult nf Mr. Hmigsier'n words mid caress, Hip girl found her way to the room where Mrs, Dudley wan waiting to help her change her dress for the dance Hint was to follow the theatricals. "Mother, Is It true?" "In what Hue, ilaiiliig?"slie linked nervously, In return, nlnrmed at the girl's white face and sc ared look. "That Prank has left mp- has gone nwiiy-mid not alone?" tu silence Joan listened nn Mm. Dud ley told her how only that morning she bad received n letter from Prank Clements, telling her he wnn to Mart that very day on n yachting tour with his friend, Mr. Dnni oinlie. "You will know," bo bad written, thnt it Is your ibinnlilor's wish our en gagement kIioiiM Iiw broken, and there lore i hi -e Is iiothlinrjl can do but sub mit; but I cannot leave Kn-hi'id Willi out writing to thank you for all the kindness you have ever shown me." "I said I hopi il I would never be his wife, but 1 didn't mean It, mother: for I love 1 1 1 in wilh all my heart." Then, folded In her mother's loving arms, Joan told with much bitterness the story of her wilfulness, mid the angry words she had spoken at their last Is'lleve mo. He knew I loved him, mooting. "lint It wan cruel of him to and that I wan only angry." "Write mid loll him thin yourself. Joan, Don't wreck your happiness from a sense of false pride," urged her mother; leil to humble her pride, confess herself In have been In Hie wrong, ami ask forgiveness, was not easy all nt once to spoilt, wilful Joan. No one can overcome the habits of a lifetime In a monieiil, and .loan was no exception to the rule. Hhe wailed mid hoped, was now repentant and humble, again proud mid wilful. Home lay she would write, or perhaps Prank would. And so the days passed, until there came one on which tilling reached Itosemount that broke down fur ever the Inst remnants of Joan's pride and wilfulness. , The wreck of Mr. iMineoinbe's yacht. Hie Wnlcrwllch, with the loss of ail on board, was reported In Hie papers, nnd Joan bowed her head mid felt Hint her punishment was greater than she could bear. Yet the girl found that she had to bear tho burden of Iter sorrow, for grief dis-s not kill the young mid strong. Daily life had to lie followed and dally duties done, but Joan's bright color failed mid her eyes grow dim with weeping, mid the girl's guy spirits wero sobered and clino toned, not only by the sorrow of her loss, but by the remembrance that never left her, of tho false, cruel words that she had npoken to her lover nt their Inst meeting. If only she could tell him how bitterly they wero repented of, how true ber love for him had really Ix'on, tho weary heartache might be lessened. Hut It wan tisi late now the opportunity had boon lost forever. Tho thought that she had departed from him with a lie upon her lips, that bo had died believing her false, haunt ed her continually; nml she was so sad and dejected that the mother's kind heart ached with pity nnd sympathy, and she would gladly have welcomed back some of the old wilful spirit The long spring day wim fading Into twilight an .loan stood, her arms rest ing upon Hip rails that divided tho llower-garileii from tho orchard, every tree In which wan now Hushed and Is'iiutlfnl with blossoms. Dreaming, she watched the rays of tho dying sun set ns they faded one by one a way, wnteheil until tho llrst faint star peeped out In tho darkening sky. "How unlet nnd calm It Is, llko the silent land where Prank now Is, and from which there In no return, spite of all our wishes mid all our prayers!" An Joan said thin she turned, to sen coming towards her through the fast gathering shadows of evening the form she hud thought never again to see the form of Prank Clements. Her prayers had been answered. Another opportunity to win forgiveness and peace had been given her. With a low cry she stretched out ber hands to him, "Prank! Frank! forgive me! My Inst words to you wero false! I loved you then nn now! Frank, forgive!" She thou fell senseless to tho ground. "Mother, Clod has let me seo him. Frunk known now that I love him, nnd always did," whispered Joan, with re turning consciousness. "God ban Indeed been merciful to us nil. Tell her yourself, Frank, how" As Joan struggled up, strong arms were thrown fondly round her. and tho wellknown nml well-loved voice of Frank Clements whispered, "We will thank Him together, my darling, will we not?" It hud been no spirit that had come to Joan In tho gloaming, but living flesh nnd blood. The Wnterwitch had truly been wrecked, but those on board haci taken to the hnnt, and had boon picked up by a sailing vessel, which had brought them back to England. On hlb return Frank had found a let ter from Mrs. Dudley, thnt bnd been lying nt his club for ninny dnyn. After rending the news It contnlned, Frunk had at once returned to Itosemount, Joan and love. Waverly Maguxlne. The Oisngi Ctrl In Ilia Old Thonlrr, It would appear that In the old days only a couple of pence wns given for tho bill to tho orange girl who pur veyed thorn. The management looked on the bill as a merely trifling perquisite, devised for the convenience of the playgoer, and from which little or no profit was to be expected. Indeed, In tho natural order, one might expect that they would lie given gratis, and be Included In tho charge for admis sion, and the couple of pence to the orange girl might be regarded as pourbolre for tbe trouble of offering, -Th Qentlemaa't Mngailne. PENSIONS GRANTED. Wllkeibsrre Miyor Mihst a Wl:s ftullng. Caroiiint Wind Up In Rlocdihcd. New Olait Company. Among p(i'iinu irrntilcd hut work were: William II, Pull:, Mount Un ion, $H; Hubert P. 'I hotlipon, ilenil, t'oalpiirt, fu; Lehman I.. Koons, I'm t Itnyal, $'i; l.crina Thnnipiiin, t'oalpott, $H; Unbolt Sirnble, Natrium, $f; llirnin (Midden, Wnyticbtirg, $H; Wnrrrn M, Drwitt, llrnvrr Pulls. : Jackson I'ngli, Tarentiim, $H; llarnmnd douse, Pun lliienrr, $to; John A. Il.inn.in, Stnlili tnwn. $K; William M. Iloiinc, Conlpoit, $m; William (i. School, Kiihhtld. $J5; Pphraim Mover, Pint Koyiil, $!; Sam i"i P. Siva'u." r, (iiiilnuit. fio; Willi. nn ('. I iiriueiic. New I '. r i , t ( li . J-'K; Knlu rt '.. Nevvintl. '( w llfii'hlntl, JflJ; iH.lhli.d Wylic, New (ialiice, iH. Scnteticeil to the western penitentiary when n dying mini, death linallv re- icrv I'illmiirc Johnson, one nt Clearfield county's most prominent officials nml iitiretis, nltir serving less than lour months ct ft fmir years' term, lie diril tit 8:.v n clock Sunday night, of cancer of the stomach. Johnson was but .IS years ol nge nail wns ronticcled with some o( the leading families of Clear field county, lie was rlcrled auditor of the county n few years ago mid was regarded ns one of its most upright nml efficient officers. Lust (spring (ienrlichl county had a sensation. Auditor John son was clinrged willi approving illcg.il rhnrKcs uniiiiinling to tlmttMinds nf dol lars. Me was brought lo trial, and nfl.'r n long and biiterly waged legal contest was convicted. What is said to be the longest and steepest inclined plane in the country was put in operation Wednesday at lliu quarries of the ('otiem:iili:h Stone Com pany, just east nf ( 'oni ni.ittnh furnace, ( amlnia ruiinlv. The incline is ,.7S fiet long ami the grade is ji feci tu the lot. l ive cubic yards nf stone will lie lowered at a time, and it is expected lh.it a trip can be made every lo nii'i ulcs. This will iit-rii.it of an output of ,Vi cubic yards daily, which will make fio car loads, nr two train loads. The soldiers' orphan schools have re opened with i.ifn) children. The iiiiiii ber of applicants for snlmis-ann is con stantly growing smaller, and it is export ed by the commission that in a few years it may be found convenient to nbandon the schools at Chester Springs, Hartford nnd Uuioutowii and concen trate nil the children at Scotland. The commission expects to ask tlic next Legislature for n special appropriation to be applied in (he erection of addi tional buildings nt Scotland. (ieorge W. Youngson, census super visor of Westmoreland county, has an nounced that the population of West moreland county., will slightly cxccci l.sK.ono. The addition of nn orphan's court judge, the creation of the office of county controller nnd the abolition of the oilicc of county auditor depended upon the population reaching the 150, 000 mark. The fee system of paying county officers will also bo abolished. 'J lie gain in 10 years has been almost o.noo. Two talkative women worried Mayor Nichols, of Wilkcsbarre. and then he. made n ruling worthy of Solomon. One was arrested for standi r. and when both came into court 'tlx y lind a war oi words, which protests could not stop. Tiny were put into a room together and told to talk themselves out. They did. After three hours they hail talked nil animosity away and become friends. With tears of happiness they assured the mayor that they loved each oilier dearly ami he released them. There arc now Jitt looms in operation at the Lock Haven silk mill. There arc 40 looms that have been set up but arc not in operation. In addition to these there is room for upward of 50 more looms, which will complete the capacity of the mill. At present 2,500 yards of silk arc made daily, nnd ship ments to New York are made twice a week. William Kininirr nnd Absalom Con way, brothers-in-law, quarrelled ov.-r business matters in a blacksmith shop on the hitter's farm, near I'cnficld, Clearfield county. Kinuncr got a grub hoe and struck Conway, cutting his snip to the bone. The doctors tiling Conway is fatally injured. Kimmrr fled to his home several miles away. The barn owned by William 1 1 it cs, at Darlington. Heaver county, was burn ed with all its contents, including a splendid matched bay tram of horses valued nt $5,000. The team was owned by Assessor R. A. Harrison, of Dar.ing ton, and was considered the best pair of horses in Heaver county. The origin of the fire is unknown. Mrs. William Kirkpatrick. of Punx sntawncy, died Tuesday afternoon at the Wayne hotel, Dnllois. from tlic ef fects of carbolic acid, taken with sui cidal intent. The woman was found un conscious in her room by the chamber maid, and all efforts to save her were unavailing. Her husband is State or ganizer of the United Mine Workers of America, at Birmingham, Ala. At the meeting of Rutherford B. Hayes Post No. 167, G. A. R.. of Oil City, Enoch I'errine. commander of the post, mustered into membership his father, Isaac Perrinc. 81 year of age. The event was one of the most remark able in tlie fraternity of the place, and has probably never been duplicated in this country. The Wilkes rolling mill at Sharon, the only independent iron works in the She nango and Mahoning valleys which is at present in operation, has quit taking orders, as it is impossible to get out the stuff fast enough. An order for 1.000 bundles of sheet iron has been refused. The plant is running day and night. Seven colored men and women, two kegs of beer, a meat ax and shotgun were involved in a general mix-up, and as a result Nip Davis is lying at his home in Washington with a big gash in his skull, in a serious condition, while Fay Marsh is in jail, charged with a murderous assault upon Davis. J. L. Myland, of New Castle, has an nounced hit intention of building a mammoth cracker factory in that city at a cost of $75,000. The plant alone will cost $50,000, and il will give em ployment to 60 girls and 25 men. Sev eral other New Castle capitalist! will be associated with bim in the enterprise THE REASON WHY. f(ilcl I ho iiins'cl to the oyster: "Ace .vim hnppy ns a elnm?" Maid the oyster rather grimily! "n; I do not think I 11 111." "What's the reason ?" snld the tiiilcll .111l Hie HiniitMi oyster sslil: "Well, I uot out tills lunrnliig The nioll'J side lit III V bed." - I'lllnljii Wells, In Puck. HUMOROUS. Wlgg Ho you believe he's nn inuiii In love Willi his wife nn ho pretends lo be? Wugg-Well, hp letn her buy his neckties. Klllleiis Women tire nil 1 uiioiin. I '.vnlens Ami yet the most cniiotis thing lit the world In a woman who has no curiosity." WiH'e's Putin r My boy. you learn to oidil'e vonr own cinioo, l.'ttlo Wild. Wl.ie p'M-! WIi-ii mo nn going to m l mo the eimo"? Mr. Nevi rwed - I have Just 11 slnglo aim In life. Miss (llilglrl - How Inter esting. Im tell mo what It Is. .Mr. Nevorwed -To renin III n bachelor. Hoax-Young Aildlcpntc cnrrles his passion for nolliiics to n ridiculous extreme. .fnnx-Yes; ve seen theglii he's going In marry Pi In she's n day, "I Mi! you will light, then?" gloomily cried the tlroeal' r; "inline your weap ons." "Hwords," replied thp timid num. "Very good, sir." "At '.'i paces." "Kir," snld Hip poet who hnd left bis mmiiiserlpt the day before, "hnvi you rend my Soul Itelensed?'" "No," replied the editor promptly; "but I'd' llko to see It." Ilotrox 1 tolil, the architect who In planning my Hew house that I wanted Urnnlte steps, aud what do you t.up pose he did? HlllleiiH - I dare sny he gave you 11 stony stare. Mrs. Wigwag - My biisbimil tells e,i. everything that happens to hliu.'' Mrs. I.oniJiiiw - Ifuh! My husband e n't liilislled with lh.it. He tells lue Ms of thltiRM that never happened. l.lltle f muglilor -Mamma, can follis bo put In prison for Iientlng n baby' M 11 11 1 inn - Why do you ask such a ques tion? little liaugliter-I saw Mrs. Nextdoor Idling her baby's bottle, mi' she put some water In tho milk. "IMd you see Hip llrst Issue of Hob ley's new paper?" "Yes; there wsn one thing In It thnt I thought verir remarkable." "What was that?" "A lengthy communication praising the sheet, mid signed '(.'oiotiint Header."' "You refused him last night, dlilu't you?" asked Mabel's dearest friend. "Yes," said Malsl; "but how did you guess It?" "I saw hi 111 thin morning, mid he bad lost tho strained, worried look ho had been wenrlng recently." A FORBIDDEN QUADRUPED, Why Hie Agrlnnliurnt Department llsfl Starred Ih MnniooH. The flat of the nation has gone forth ngainst the mongoose. lb-fore Con gress adjourned a bill was passed by both houses prohibiting Itn Importa tion. The piignaelotin little animal Is henceforth to be placed In tho same category an tho Chinese. Tho mongoose Is a native of India. It In death 011 rats mid snakes. Por the destruction It works among these pests It Is highly prized. Hut when It clears out the rats and snakes It be takes Itself to birds and eggs mid any i.ort of small game It can get hold of. 'J'fint Is why the department of agri culture classifies It 11s a noxious ani mal. Welched In the balance, nwny from Its native land, Its vices are found I to outweigh Us virtues, nnd, therefore, It Is to be kept out of Cnoio Ham's broad domains. Thus far very few specimens of the mongoose hnvo been Introduced Into this country. The edict of exclusion Is based mainly on the experience of Jamaica. That Island oneo suffered rrom n iiise no or ran. wn en were nnr J ney were 111111 reyponsinio ior nn (iiriiin,., i'-,, ill,,,; 1 11,11 11, till I lilt' llliili)(t-in"', iiiui iiiuii-k uilil lit (imieM. wen, irirrfMiiiecii rrrmi tniio They Increased with reinnrkn (MlPiil IT 1111(1 n,'im pii,-iii nil u.iri 111 Island, even to tho tops of tho highest mouimiiiiH. 1 ney proven iiiveicrnii rut destroyers. A dermic after their Introduction It was estimated that they wero thus saving tho sugar planter f'J'J.'.ooo per annum. And the mon goose was Messed. Htlll tho mongoose Inoreased, and Its miirdoroun habits became more and jioro apparent nnd the rats diminished. It destroyed young poultry, kids, lambs, piiqilen, kittens, small game, birds which nested on or near the ground, c?s, ground lizards, frogs turtles' eggs aud land crabs. It wan also known to eat ripe bnnnniis, pine apples, young corn, pears, sweet pv totoesv eoeonnuls mid other fruits. Toward the close of (he second dorado the mongoose enmo to be regarded an the worst pest ever Introduced Into the Island worse than the rats wlih-b It destroyed. Then the mongoose an oftlcliilly nmitheniatlzed. ' Hawaii, where the mongoose wan Introduced In 1881, underwent a some r.iint similar experience, und In VittS a law wan passed forbidding the Intro duction, breeding or keeping cf the mongoose on thut island. All of which goes to show that tbe mongoose U a good animal to let ulone where nature has placed it Baltimore Herald The Vary !!. "Maud Marcher gives a progresxivp-conversation-veranda party tomor row." "Yes; the Idea of making peoplo work for their Ice cretlm In that fash ion this hot weather!' IndlanapolU Journal. V r
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers