BY DAVID OVER.
Read!!
SALE OF THE MAIN LINE.
LETTER No. 9.
RECAPITULATION OF THE LEAD
ING FACTS BROUGHT OUT.
Previous to submitting the few general
remarks which this subject suggests, a re
capitulation of the points established iu
these letters will aid the reader in grasping
all the bearings of the question.
Letter L refers to the importance of the
subject, and points out wherein onerous
•taxation had crippled our industrial inter
acts. It announced as the main proposi
tion to be proved, that the Maiu Line is
not self sustaining, hut has exhausted and
is exhausting the whole proceeds from the
taxation of the people. Asa geneial proof
ot this preposition, it was shown that since
there had been rro material diminu
tion in the amount of the debt, notwith-
t:tn• 1 in<r the fact that over seventeen mil
lions of dollars had, iu that time, been
raised from tax 011 real and personal es*
tate. If this im:uen-e snia i>ad not been
n-c I in paving current expenses, why had
not the debt been partly paid? That it lias
not been, is the best evidence that it could
not bes and that it could not be, i> the best
•evidence that the Main l.ino has drawn
largely upon this amount for the payment
of expenses, of one kind or another, in.
eurred upon it.
No. 2 explains the difference between
tlw mod's of keeping the account of ex-
I cuses on the Main Line, adopted by the
Auditor General and the Cinai Commis
sioners', and shows the classes of payments
which the latter officers exclude front their
annual statements. From 185a to I$5Q
certain of these excluded items amounted
to §2,076,896 12 —which, if placed oppo
site the fabulous profits reported by the Ca
nal Hoard, would have made a fearful hole
therein, likewise in the payments
on the Public Works are stated by the Au
ditor General, as §1.040,004 93 greater
than by the Canal Commissioners; and on
the Main Line, as 372,159 77 greater—
whence is inferred the necessity, in order to
-gain an accurate knowledge of the facts, of
a thorough investigation of the payments
for each year.
No. 3 makes such an investigation of the
operations of the Main Line for 1850, and
proves that, instead of making §332,590
42 as the Canal Hoard assert, it actually
lost §256,194 01, and litis without inciu
ding the §181,495 74 spent on the new
Portage Kailroad. It also investigates
each portion of the line—the Columbia road,
the Canal portion and the Portage road
ar.d shows the condition of caclv, as fully as
the data supplied hy the Commonwealth's
officers permit.
in No. 4, a review is given of the State
of the Line, as found in the report of the
State Ktiginccr, Edward F. L ty. It shows
that the Engineer asks this year §117,010
9S mote for repairs than were expended last
year, and announces the necessity for more
expensive repairs in a year or tw. It also
publishes the Main Line appropriations iu
the General Appropriation bill, which fotd
tip §253,437 16 more than tlie gross reve
nue from the line for ISoG.
No. 5 discusses the. line for 1855. The
. Canal Commissioners reported profits
52U2.381 85. The expenditures—exclu
sive of new Portage payments —exceeded
the revenue §25,071 58, to which must be
added interest oa cost. Iu 1854, the bal
ance against the line was §222,065 21,
although the Canal Commissioners reported
a balance in favor of §233,142 01. 1853
and 1852 present a substantially similar
state r.f facts—the discrepancies le'ween
the two statements being caused by the Ca
nal Hoard omitting sac dry items of expeuse
which the auditing officer includes, because
the money for them passes through bis hands
and he of course, claims credit for the pay
ment.
No. 6 gives a summary of the total re
ceipts front, and total expenditures upon,
the Main Line for 1853, 'sl '55 and 'SU,
and shows the balance against the line, ex
clusive of new Pottage work, to bo §457?
689 45. The Cuual Hoard made the prof
its of these years over a million. It is also
shown by the olm-jal figures that while the
gros revenue from the Public Works has
been increasing for y?ars, the gross revenue
from the Main Line is diminishing; and that
tho gloss expenditures, whether iuclus ve o'-
exclusive of const ruction , are increasing—
tho line thus doubly losing ground.
No. 7 shows the profits for 1853, '54,
*55 and '56, claimed by the Hoard to have
A Weekly Paper, Devoted to Literature, Politics, the Arts, Sciences, Agriculture, &c., &c—Terms: Two Dollars per annum.
Been $1,170,985 63, and examines each \
year separately, showing the annual sup-i
pressions of the Canal Board to be at least
$533,029 71. A table also shows the in
crease of the Construction account, under
the system adopted by the Canal Board.—
From completion of Line to 1854, this iu*
orease amounted to $4,365,926 76A.
troni 1854 to 1856, a million more has
been added. of this properly belongs
to Repair Account, lut it is shoved on to
Construction, to avoid having it brought in
to comparison with the comparatively s'en
der receipts.
No. 8 analyzes the receipts and expendi
tures for 1852, '53, '54, '55 and '56, and
shows the. relation of the Main Sine thereto.
It proves that if the Mair. Line had been
sold last year for nine millions, the State
debt would have been reduced,' during that
I year, $10,235,597 61. The tabic also
| shows that with the Main Liue sold, the or
dinary revenues would soou reduce the debt
at the rate of two millions a year. It also
proves that the State debt is not less now
than in 1847, however it may have slightly
varied in that time. Then it was $10,628,-
919 51. lu December, 1850, it was, with
out including $584,000 of temporary loans
I due and unpaid. $40,177,835 25. Whilst
from 1847 to 1850 inclusive, the tax on real
a ud personal estate estate has realized to
the &ate $14,409,564 11. The question
is, suail the Liue be sold that the debt may
be at otiee largely reduced and then rapid
ly paid- or shall it be retained and the debt
and the rates of taxation be maintained at
present figures?
in addition to this general consideration,
which reaches every citizen and taxpayer,
there are several special reasons why the
Line should be fold. These will be briefly
adverted to iu my closing communication*
ADAMS.
A MARVELOUS CONJURER.
Ordinary magicians would feel rathe r
nervous at the idea of undertaking the re
uiarkablG feats recited below. U'u ip'ist
remark, however, that as regards the per
formance mentioned last in the former ar
ticle, it does uot appear to have been alto
gether original with him. It is reiated of
Cagliostro, that having deposed Frederick
and received an order to leave Berlin, he
went out in a coach and six through each ot
the six piiucipal gates of the city at the
same irsiatit*of time, exactly twelve, M.—
AH the irate keeners knew him, and testi
fied to having seen him depart at the identi
cal moment.
The Russians have lone exhibited a re
markable taste for juggling, and all that
smacks of the marvelous. Conjurers, pro
fessors of natural magic, ventriloquists, aud
the cu'ire race of mountebanks, who iu
France and England astonish the gaping
crowds at races arid country fairs, ever find
a ready welcome and liberal encouragement
among the higher classes in the Russian
cities. About the beginning of the present
century a species of Cagliostro, or rather a
superior kin i of Wizard of the North, made
his appearance at Bt. Petersburg, and as
tonished the natives by his marvelous per
formances. His name was Pirnetti, and his
fame is retained in the memory of those who
have witnessed his unrivalled talen's.
The Czar Alexander, having heard Pir
netti so much spoken of, was desirous of
seeing him: aud one day it was announced
to the conjurer that he would have the hon
or cf giviug a representation of his magical
powcr.-r at court, the hour fixed for him to
make his appearance being seven o'clock.—
A brilliant ahd numerous assembly of la
dies and courtiers, presided over by the
Czar, had met. hut the conjurer was absent.
Surptised end displeased, the Czar pulled
out his watch, which indicated five minutes
after seven. Pirnetti had not only failed in
being ia waiting, but he had caused the
court to wait, aud Alexander was no more
patient than Louis XIV. A quarter of an
hour and no Pirnetti. Messengers who had
been sent in search of lii:n, returned unsuc
cessful. The anger of the Czar, with diffi
culty restrained, displayed itself in threat.
ning exclamations.
At length after the lapse of an hour, the
door of the saloon npeued, and the gcutle
mau of the chamber auuouuecd Pirnetti, who
presented himself with a calm front aad the
serenity of one who had nothing to reproach
himself with. The Czar, however was
greatly displeased, but Pirnetti assumed an
air of astonishment, und replied with the
greatest coolness. 'J)id not your majesty
command my presence ar seven o'cloek pre
cisely V
'Just so,' exclaimed the Czar, at tho
height of exasperation.
'Well, then,' said Pernetti, 'let your Ma
jesty deign to look at your watch, ami y>u
will perceive that I am exact, and that it is
just seven o'clock.'
The Czar, pulling out Lis watch violently
in order to confound what he considered a
downright piece of insolence, was completely
amazed. The watch marked seven o'clock;
lie looked at the clock of the s iloon, which
had been twenty times consulted during the
space that the assembly had been kept wait
ing: the clock also marked and struck seven
o clock! In turn the courtiers drew out
their watches, which were found as usual
exactly regulated by that of their sovereign.
Seven o'clock! indicated with one accord all
the clocks and watches of the palace. The
art of the magician was at once manifested
in thi6 strange retrogression in the march of
time. To anger succeeded aston'shment
aad admiration. Perceiving that the Czar
! smiled, Pirnetti tbus adJresscd Liut:
'\ our majesty will pardon tne. It was by
the performance of this trick that I was de
sitous of making my first appearance before
you. Hut 1 know bow precious truth is at
court, it is really neees ury that your watch
should tell it to you sir. If you consult it
uow you will find that it marks the real
time.'
The Czar oucc more drew forth his watch
—it pointed to a few minutes past eight?
the same ratification had taken place iu all
the watches of those present, and in the
clocks of the palace. The exploit was fol
| lowed by others equally amusing and sutpas
! s!n s-
At the close ol the performance, the Czar
, after having complimented Pirnetti brought
pback to his remembrance that, in the course
iof the evening's amusements, he had de
i clared that be could penetrate everywhere.
'Yes, sir, everywhere, replied titc oonjn-
I ter, with modest assurance.
'What,' exclaimed the Czar, 'could you
I penetrate into this palace, were I to order all
■ the doors to be closed and guarded?'
'lnto this palace, sir, even into the apart
ment of your majesty, quite as easily as I
should enter iuto tuy own house,' said Pir
netti-
'Well, then,' said the Czar, 'at mid-day
to morrow I shall be ready in my closet
with the price of this evening's amusement,
j them. Hut I forewarn you that the doors
shall be carefully closed and guarded.'
'To morrow at mid day I all have the
honor oi presenting myself before your ma
jesty,' and he Lowed and withdrew.
Two gentlemen of the household followed
the conjurer to make sure be quitted the
palace, they accompanied him to Lis lodging
and a number of the police surrounded the
dwelling from the moment he entered it.—
The palace was instantly closed, with post
tire orders not to suffer, under any pretext
whatever, any one to enter, wore he prince
or valet, until the Czir himself should com
mand the doors to bo opened. These or
ders were strictly enforced, confidential
persons having watched their execution.—
The exterior openings of the palace were
guarded by the soldiery. All the approach
es to the imperial apartments were protect
ed by high dignitaries, wli-un a simple pro
fessor of the art of legerdemain possessed no
means of bribing. In short, for greater se
curity, all the keys had been carried into
the imperial cabinet. A few moments pre
vious to the hour fixed for Pirnetti's inter
view with the Czar, the cbamberlaiu on ser
vice brought to his majesty a despatch
which a member had handed him through
an opening in the door. It was a report
from the minister of police that Pirnetti had
not left home.
'Abu! he has found out. that the underta
king is impracticable, aud has abandoned
it,' observed the Czar, with a smile.
Twelve o'clock sounded. While the
last stroke yet reverberated,the door which
communicated from the bedroom of the Czar
to the cabinet opened, and Pirnetti appear"
cd. The Cz.r drew back a couple of pa
ces, his brow darkened, and after a momen
tary silence, while fixing a suspicious look
on Pirnetti, he said, 'are you aware that
vou may become a very dangerous individ
ual?'
'Y'es, sire,' he replied, I am only a hum
ble coujurer, with no ambition but that of
a musing your majesty.'
'Here,' said the Czar, 'are a thousand
roubles for last night, aad a thousaud more
for this day's visit.'
Pimetti, in offering bis thanks, was in
terrupted by the Czar, who with a thought
ful air inquired of him, 'Do yon count on
remaining some time in St. Petersburg?'
'Sire,' be replied, *1 intend setting off
this week, unless your majesty orders a pro
longation of my sojourn.'
'No,' hastily observed the Czar, 'it is not
my intention to detain you, and moreover,'
he continued, with a smile, 'I should vainly
endeavor to keep you against your will.—
You know how to leave bt. Petersburg as
easily as you have fouud your way into this
palace.'
'I could do so, sire,' said Pimetti, 'bnt
far from wishing to quit St. Petersburg
stealthily or mysteriously, I am desirous ot
BEDFORD. PA., FRIDAY. AUGUST 7,1857.
quittiug it in the mast public manner possi
ble, by giving to the inhabitants of your
capital a striking example of my magical
powers.'
Pirnetti could not leave -iko an ordinary
mortal; it was necessary that he should
crown his success in the R pis tan capital by
something surpassing his previous effirts,
and he announced he shoulji leave St. Pe
tersburg the following day at ten o'clock in
the morning, and that he t&uuld quit all the
city gates at the same moment. Public
curiosity was excited to tli highest degree
by this announcement. St. Petersburg at
that time had fifteen gates, which were en
compassed by a multitude tiger to witness
this marvelous departure.
The spectators at these various gates all
declared that at ten o'clock precisely, Pir
netti, whom they all perfectly reeoguized,
passed through, 'lie walked at a a'.ow pace,
with head erect, in order to be seen,' said
they, and 'he bade us adieu in a clear and
audible voice.' These unanimous testimo
nies were conGrmed by the written declara
tion of the officers placed at every gate to
examine the passports of travellers. The
inspection of Piruetti's passports were iu
the fifteen registers. Wheic is the Wizard
whether coming from the North or South
0 *- y
who could perform so aslbn'wbing au ex
ploit.
AN IRISHMAN'S RESOURCES.
Mr. Meagher, in Lis speech at the St.
I'atriek's Day diuner, told the following:
Paddy Shannon was a bugler in the 87th
regiment—the Faugh a-ballaqhs —and with
that regiment, tinder the command of Sir
Hugh Gough, served all tbfougu the Pen
insular campaign. When the campaign
was over Paddy had notkfcg left hiiu but
the recollection of it. llif only solace was
the notice taken of him i.V tho canteen. It
is no wonder, then, he became a convival
soul. From tho bottle he soon found his
way to the halberts.
The regiment paraded, the proceedings
: ' y.j? —p J
given for the drummers to begin,when Pad
dy Shannon exclaimed:
"Listen uow, Sir Hugh. Do you mean
to say you arc going to flog me ' Just re
collect who it was souuded the charge at
Boressa, when you took the ouly French
eagle ever taken. Wasn't it Paddy Shan
non ? Little 1 thought that day it would
come to this; and the regiment so proud of
that same eagle on the colors."
"Take him down," said Sir Hugh, and
Paddy eseapeu unpunished.
A very short time, however, elapsed be
fore Paddy again found himself placed in
siuiular circumstances.
"Go on," said the Colonel.
"Don't be in a hurry," ejaculated Paddy;
"I've a word to say, Sir Hugh."
'The eagle won't save you this time,
sir,"
"la it the eagle, iudeed! then I wasn't go
ing to sav auy thing about that same, though
you are, and ought to he, proud of it. But
I was just going to ask if it w.. sn't Paddy-
Shannon who, when the breach of Turifa
was stormed by 22,000 French, and onyl
the 87th to defend it,if it wasu't Paddy
Shannon who struck up 'Garrytown, to glo
ry, boys, and you Sir Hugh, have got. the
same two towers and the breach between
them upon your coat of arms in testimony
thereof."
"Take hitu down," said the Colonel, and
Paddy was again unscathed.
Paddy, Lowevcr, had a long list of ser
vices to get through, aud a good deal
whiskey, aud ere another two months pas
sed he was agaiu tied up, tlj sentence read
and an assurance from Sir Hugh Gougb that
nothing again would make him relent.
Paddy tried the eagle—it was of no use.
He appealed to Sir Hugh's pride and the
breach of Tarifa without any avail.
"And it is me," at last he broke out, ;
"that you are going to flog? I ask you,;
Sir Hugh Gougb, before the vhole regiment,
who knew it well, if it wasnlt Paddy Shan
who picked up tbe French Field Marshal's
staff at the battle of Victoria; that the Duke
of Wellington sent to the prince Uegent,and
for which he got that letter tlat will be long
remembered, and that mads him a Field
Marshal into the bargain ? The Prinoe Ke
gent said,' You're sect me (he staff of a
Field Marshal of England.'—Wasn't Pad
dy Shannon that took it ? taddy Sliaunon,
who never got rap, or recotnpnse, or ribbon
or star, or coat-of-arm-, or nark of distinc
tion except the flogging you are going to
give biui."
"Take hitu down," cried fir Hugh, and
agaiu Paddy was forgiven.
KF~\Vhen Dr. H. and a Uy. r A. were
walking arm in arm a wag std to a friend : j
"These two are just equal tione highway
man." "Why," was the rfponse. "Be
cause," rejoined the wag, 'it is a lawyer
aud a doctor — your money f yoir life."
LONDON SHOP WINDOWS.
But, after all, the grand source of gra
tuitous entertaiumeut in London is the shop
windows and the shops. Here lies the great
exhibition, wbicb is perpetually open to all
comers, aud of which uobody ever tires.—
It is an awful bluuder to suppose that those
only profit by the display in shop-windows
who are in a positiou to purchase. Every
shop front is uu open volume, which he who
runs may read, while he who stands still,
may study it, and gather wisdom at the
cheapest source, which may be useful for a
whole life. To the money-less million, the
shops of Lor.dou are what the uuisersity is
to the collegion: they teach them ail know
ledge; they are history, geography, astro
nomy, chemistry, photography, numismatics,
dynamics, mechauics—in a word, they are
science iu all its practical developments—
aud, glorious addition, they are art in all
its latest aud noblest achievements. While
to one class of observers they are a source
of inexhaustible amusement, to another
they are a source equally inexhaustible of
instruction. Therefore it is that the me
chanic nud artisan, out of work and out of
money, wanders along the interminable
miles of shop-fronts, peeriog here, puzzling
there, guessing iu this place, solving in that,
some one or other of the mechanical pro
blems presented to their view. A common
thing with men aud lads thus circumstanced,
is to sally forth in groups to dissipate the
weary hours of enforced idleness by gazing
in at the shop.windows, aud speculating on
this or that uokunwn mate: al or contrivance:
and guessing, or if practicable, iuquiriug
iuto the circumstance of its produce or
construction. A weli known source of
gratis recreation to the unemployed is what
is called "a picture fuddle," when a party
of idle ban us wiii hunt up all the print
shops aud picture spops iu a whole district,
ana spend perhaps the whole day in the
contemplation of this gratuitous gallery,
which having the charm of novelty, recom
mends itself more than do the rooms of the
National Collection of the loug chambers
of the British Museum. Others may pre
fer "a book fuddle," and these roam from
stall to smll iu the second hand book dis
tricts, beguiling the time by a chapter from
a dog's eared Pickwick, or a browu-study
over the columns of au old Mechanic's Ma
gazine. There is no end to the entertain
ment derivable iu tolerable weather from
shop stalls and shop windows; and it is our
□octou tuat nc uceu ut - viv.v-i rtitow, in
deed, who would undertake to specify iu set
terms the influence they have had in form
ing the mind, character, and habits our city
population.— The Little World of London.
Tilt: MOON-
The Boston Courier says:—lt has long
been known that the moon revolves on its
axis in the same time in which it revolves
rouud the earth, and that it consequently
always presents nearly the same side towards
the earth, while the opposite side is never
seen t'roui our globe. No bodies of water
nor clouds can be seen on the moon by the
aid of the most powerful telescope, nor is
the apparent direction of stats eio-e to its
edge euatiged by refraction, as would be
the case if an atmosphere enveloped the
moon. Hence it has been inferred by
Whetwell, the reputed author of a late
work entitled "Of Plurality of Worlds,"
that the moon has no atmosphere or water,
and, consequently, no inhabitants.
This inference is showu to he conclusive
by a recent discovery of tbe astronomer
Hansel, wbose study of the tuoou's motion,
continued for many years, established tbe
fact that the ceutre of gravity of the moon,
instead of being like that of the earth, at
the centre of figure, is beyond that ceutrc,
and farther from the side next to the earth
than it is from the other side by seventy
four miles. The nearer side of tbe moon,
therefore, is a vast protuberance or moun
tain, seventy-four utiles high; and any fluid,
whether air or water, would flow downwards
from the neater to the farther side of the
rnocn, where for aught we know, intelli
gent beings may exist. The ueartr side of
the moon cannot be inhabited, at least by
beings to whoso existence air and water are
essential, as in the case with ail terrestial
animals.
It has been discovered within a few years,
by means of long oontiuued, hourly obser
vations with a barometer, that the moon
exerts an appreciable influence on the pres
sure of the atmosphere; aud also by means
of long continued magnetic observations,
that it exerts an influence on the declina
tions of the magnetic needle.
The existence of this "influence on the
pressure of the atmosphere" from the moon,
may explain why people are arc "moon
struck," as it is termed, aud possibly those
who have beeu supposed foolish in thinking
that the moon's ctianges affected the wea
ther on this earth of ours were of philoso
phers than fools.
How TO QUARREL WILN YOUR WIFE
—(An unfailing recipe ) Wait until she is
at her toilet preparatory to going out. She
will be sure to ask you if her bonnet is
straight.,remark that the lives of ninc-leuths
of the women are parsed in thinking wether
their bonuet is straight, and winding up with
the remark that you never knew but one
who had any common sense about her.
Wife will ask who that was.
You, with a sigh, reply, "Ah ! you never
mind."
Wife will ask why you did not marry her
then.
You say abstractedly, "Ah' why aid 1
not marry her ?"
The climax is reached at this time, and a
regular row is sure to follow
"TO PERSONS OUT OF EMPLOY
MENT."
Co to work. Take off your coat, roll up
your sleeves and look about you. If you
cau't find auything congenial or remunera
tive iu the city or town, betake yourself to
the country. Better weed gardens and tend j
sheep, or follow the ploughshare barefooted,
and tread on the furrows,or to act as a scare
crow in acorn-field, thauremain in the city,
out of pocket, out at the elbows, in dobt.in
distress, and in misery generally. Don't be
afraid to commingle freely with your mother
earth, and theu sit under a cataract and be
washed clean—be invigorated and feel like
a man. The country is the place for you,
decidedly,where the sunbeams steal through
the cracks in your chamber aud dance flings
on the flocr, where one doesn't have to walk
a mile and a half to sec the sun rise, arid
where the waiving grain bows gracefully to
the gentle breeze, and eggs can be had for
the hunting. Ome there, and re-invigora
ted, aud you will look with pity upon mor
tals walled in by brick aud mortar on all
sides with the heavens fur , Jar before them
and no hope of ever reaching that blcssed )
abode.
THE GERMAN AND UH SOUUKROCT.—
Some amusing incidents occasionally occur
in our police courts. Here is one. A day
or two ago, a German entered one of our
police courts, were Justice Flandreau was
presiding, wbeu the following dialogue took
place :
Dutchman—Jleester Joodge, 1 van's a
varraut.
Judge—What do you want a warrant
for ?
Dutchman—l tells you vat for I vant a
varrant: A man comes to my house and
likes my vife; but 1 no care for that.
Judge—Well, what did be do then?
Dutchman—Yell, he triuks my lagcrbie r,
then kiss my vite,but 1 cares nothing for dat.
Judge —Well,what does the man do then
that you waut a warrant against hint ?
1 Wuhmwn nltor bo ♦rtttko my in
gerbier, he pools his hand on my vife; but
I no care nothing for dat.
Judge—Well, what does he do then, 1
have no time to listen to a long rigmarole
story 1
Dutchman—Veil, then he takes his hand
off my vife and puts in the sourkrout bar
rel aud throws it on the floor, and dat is
j for what I vant a varrant.
j The Judge declined the application.—
j JY. V. Tribune.
ORIGINAL AND STRIKING SIMILE.—
i At a recsnt meeting in New York, the Rev.
Mr. Cuyler told the following amusing
story:
A city buck of the Broadway order went
into the country, and they invited him to a
deer hunt. lie had seen the deer antlers,
and had a lively notion of venison, but he
knew about as little of the live animal as he
did about the guu they gave him. They
placed him where the deer was to pass and
told him to fire as soon as he saw bim. II e
stood and trembled. Soon he heard the
baying of the bounds, and before long there
was a crackling of the underbrush, and be
fore loug there was a er*ek!ing of the un
derbrush, and a magnificent deer rus bed by
with immense antlers, and bis tail erect.—
The city buck still stood and trembled.—
The huntsmen came up aud asked why he
did uot shoot? IJis lips trembled, as be
answered, 'I saw nothing but the devil go
by with au arm chair ou his bead, and bis
haudkerehief sticking out behind.
!YP"T understand you are now in de milk
business.'
'Yes Sam,' said be, 'lse now iu de nrilk
bisness—fus rate bianess, —paysweli.'
'Glad to hear it, bones.'
'But a feller stoppe me de udder day an
says he. 'Bones, you orter to shingle dem
cows of youru."
'■Shingle your cows. Why what in de
world did he ax you to shingle de cows
for !'
Boues took a loug breath,aud casting a sly
glance at Sam, replied :
'To keep de water from running in de
milk."
To KEEP BUTTER SOLID AND SWEET
IN HOT WEATHER. —Have a stone jar, (or
butter firkin, the first is the best,) half full
of brine, that will float an egg. Sngar may
be added, but it is not indispensable. Into
this drop your rolls, or prints of butter,when
thoroughly worked and ready for use. Keep
the jar closely covered, and will probably
not have a plate of oily butter on the table
all summer, —unless you are iu the hab>tof
putting your butter upon the table
instead of the last thing, at uiesl times, —1
have known such.
o°"Viee stiugs even in our pleasure,but
virtue consoles even oar pains.
VOL. 30, NO 32
TAKING OUT AN EYE TO MEND IT.—TUC
Leipsic Journal of Literature, Science and
Ait, publishes an account of the wonderful
discoveries, of Br. Graeff for disease of the
eye, and the wonderful cures he performs,
lie has found the ball of the eye to be
transparent, and by a curious instrument
examines minutely the interior, takes it out
and performs aoy necessary surgical oper
ation, and replaces it without injury to its
appearance or vision. A young girl had
loug been afflicted with excrutiating pain iu
the left eye, the canse of which the met
learned could uot understand. Dr. Graeff
found iu the eentre of the ball a littia
worm, which he removed, and restored the
poor creature immediately to health aud
perfect sight. His office is thronged all
day by the poor, praying for relief.
• - ••• - -
!U"'l say, Sambo, does you know what
makes the corn grow so fast when you put
de manure on it!'
'No,I don't know,cept it make the ground
strong for de corn.'
'No, I just tell you; when the corn begins
to smell de manure, it dou't like de 'fumery,
so it hurries out of de ground aud gets up
as high as possible, so it cau't breathe bad
air.'
IT/"" A maiden lady, not remarkable for
either youth, beauty or good temper came
for advice to Mr. Arnold as to how she could
get rid of a very annoying and troublesome
suitor.
"0, marry--marry bim" he advised.
"Nay, 1 would see bin hanged before I
would marry him."
' 4 NO, madam, marry him, as I said to you
and I'll assure you that it will not be loDg
before be hangs himself."
ffy"A distinguished philologist says that
although many modern cynics continually
assert that the world is given up iu these
days to the worship of money, be has dis
covered that owing to the peculiar formation
of the words, "gold" can never be synony
mous with "god" until you knock 1 out of
it.
The estate knowa a3 Montpclier, ID Vir
ginia, and distinguished as the former resi
dence of President Madison, Las just been
sold to Mr. Thomas S. Carson, late of Bal
timore, but now of New York, for the sum
0f§37,250. The estate embraces 1,165
acres, and therefore realizes §32 per acc.
t£7"A veritable young gentleman, four
years old, recently threw his maternal rela
tive into a fit of admiration by tbofollowing
speech :—"1 like most of all kind of cakes
—pound cake, sponge cake, and jelly cake,
but I don't iike stomach-ach.
[LPTIie following is Prentice's last and
best squib : An old woman up iu Henry is
j collecting all the Democratic papers she can
lay her hands on to make soap of. She says
they arc desput site better than ashes—they
are most as good as clear "lie."
[£?*Wbo but George D. Prentice could
have originated the following *
"The Roman Fornui is now a cow market,
the Tarpeian Rock a cabbage garden, the
Palace of the Caesars a rope-walk, and Ash
land the residence of J. B. Clay."
[Cp-The young lady who burst into taars
has been put together again.
When you "strike a balance," has bal
ance a right to strike you ?
SIP"Why is a man making love to a mar
ried woman like a sheriff levying oa the
wrong man's goods ? Because he's the vic
tim of a "misplaced attachment."
ff]f"The woman io Ocean eouuty, suppo
sed to have been frightened to death by the
Comet, has recovered, having only fallen
into a comatoze state.
I I . |
If you would relievo the pain of a burn
apply the white of an egg so as to exclude
the burned part from tbe air. It is better
than any other remedy.
[£P"Tbe man who was so forgetful that
he forgot bis honest debts, we learn, has bad
his tueuiory jogged by a "Justice of the
Peace,,
SEr"The Chinese think that tire soul of a
poet passes iuto a grasshoppet, because B
sings till it starves.
ff/~The saying that there is more pleas
ure in giving than in receiving,' is supposed
to apply chiefly to kicks, medicine and ad
vice.
[LP"Why are the country girls' cheeeks
like well printed cotton * Because they
are warranted to wash and keep tbe color,
O"""0, dear, Mr. Foster, you jest, when
you sav that my baby is the mcs handsome
one you ever saw; you must be sou-soaping
it."
"Well, madam, I thought it needed soap
of some kind."