BY DAVID OVER. Read!! SALE OF THE MAIN LINE. LETTER No. 9. RECAPITULATION OF THE LEAD ING FACTS BROUGHT OUT. Previous to submitting the few general remarks which this subject suggests, a re capitulation of the points established iu these letters will aid the reader in grasping all the bearings of the question. Letter L refers to the importance of the subject, and points out wherein onerous •taxation had crippled our industrial inter acts. It announced as the main proposi tion to be proved, that the Maiu Line is not self sustaining, hut has exhausted and is exhausting the whole proceeds from the taxation of the people. Asa geneial proof ot this preposition, it was shown that since there had been rro material diminu tion in the amount of the debt, notwith- t:tn• 1 inad not been n-c I in paving current expenses, why had not the debt been partly paid? That it lias not been, is the best evidence that it could not bes and that it could not be, i> the best •evidence that the Main l.ino has drawn largely upon this amount for the payment of expenses, of one kind or another, in. eurred upon it. No. 2 explains the difference between tlw mod's of keeping the account of ex- I cuses on the Main Line, adopted by the Auditor General and the Cinai Commis sioners', and shows the classes of payments which the latter officers exclude front their annual statements. From 185a to I$5Q certain of these excluded items amounted to §2,076,896 12 —which, if placed oppo site the fabulous profits reported by the Ca nal Hoard, would have made a fearful hole therein, likewise in the payments on the Public Works are stated by the Au ditor General, as §1.040,004 93 greater than by the Canal Commissioners; and on the Main Line, as 372,159 77 greater— whence is inferred the necessity, in order to -gain an accurate knowledge of the facts, of a thorough investigation of the payments for each year. No. 3 makes such an investigation of the operations of the Main Line for 1850, and proves that, instead of making §332,590 42 as the Canal Hoard assert, it actually lost §256,194 01, and litis without inciu ding the §181,495 74 spent on the new Portage Kailroad. It also investigates each portion of the line—the Columbia road, the Canal portion and the Portage road ar.d shows the condition of caclv, as fully as the data supplied hy the Commonwealth's officers permit. in No. 4, a review is given of the State of the Line, as found in the report of the State Ktiginccr, Edward F. L ty. It shows that the Engineer asks this year §117,010 9S mote for repairs than were expended last year, and announces the necessity for more expensive repairs in a year or tw. It also publishes the Main Line appropriations iu the General Appropriation bill, which fotd tip §253,437 16 more than tlie gross reve nue from the line for ISoG. No. 5 discusses the. line for 1855. The . Canal Commissioners reported profits 52U2.381 85. The expenditures—exclu sive of new Portage payments —exceeded the revenue §25,071 58, to which must be added interest oa cost. Iu 1854, the bal ance against the line was §222,065 21, although the Canal Commissioners reported a balance in favor of §233,142 01. 1853 and 1852 present a substantially similar state r.f facts—the discrepancies le'ween the two statements being caused by the Ca nal Hoard omitting sac dry items of expeuse which the auditing officer includes, because the money for them passes through bis hands and he of course, claims credit for the pay ment. No. 6 gives a summary of the total re ceipts front, and total expenditures upon, the Main Line for 1853, 'sl '55 and 'SU, and shows the balance against the line, ex clusive of new Pottage work, to bo §457? 689 45. The Cuual Hoard made the prof its of these years over a million. It is also shown by the olm-jal figures that while the gros revenue from the Public Works has been increasing for y?ars, the gross revenue from the Main Line is diminishing; and that tho gloss expenditures, whether iuclus ve o'- exclusive of const ruction , are increasing— tho line thus doubly losing ground. No. 7 shows the profits for 1853, '54, *55 and '56, claimed by the Hoard to have A Weekly Paper, Devoted to Literature, Politics, the Arts, Sciences, Agriculture, &c., &c—Terms: Two Dollars per annum. Been $1,170,985 63, and examines each \ year separately, showing the annual sup-i pressions of the Canal Board to be at least $533,029 71. A table also shows the in crease of the Construction account, under the system adopted by the Canal Board.— From completion of Line to 1854, this iu* orease amounted to $4,365,926 76A. troni 1854 to 1856, a million more has been added. of this properly belongs to Repair Account, lut it is shoved on to Construction, to avoid having it brought in to comparison with the comparatively s'en der receipts. No. 8 analyzes the receipts and expendi tures for 1852, '53, '54, '55 and '56, and shows the. relation of the Main Sine thereto. It proves that if the Mair. Line had been sold last year for nine millions, the State debt would have been reduced,' during that I year, $10,235,597 61. The tabic also | shows that with the Main Liue sold, the or dinary revenues would soou reduce the debt at the rate of two millions a year. It also proves that the State debt is not less now than in 1847, however it may have slightly varied in that time. Then it was $10,628,- 919 51. lu December, 1850, it was, with out including $584,000 of temporary loans I due and unpaid. $40,177,835 25. Whilst from 1847 to 1850 inclusive, the tax on real a ud personal estate estate has realized to the &ate $14,409,564 11. The question is, suail the Liue be sold that the debt may be at otiee largely reduced and then rapid ly paid- or shall it be retained and the debt and the rates of taxation be maintained at present figures? in addition to this general consideration, which reaches every citizen and taxpayer, there are several special reasons why the Line should be fold. These will be briefly adverted to iu my closing communication* ADAMS. A MARVELOUS CONJURER. Ordinary magicians would feel rathe r nervous at the idea of undertaking the re uiarkablG feats recited below. U'u ip'ist remark, however, that as regards the per formance mentioned last in the former ar ticle, it does uot appear to have been alto gether original with him. It is reiated of Cagliostro, that having deposed Frederick and received an order to leave Berlin, he went out in a coach and six through each ot the six piiucipal gates of the city at the same irsiatit*of time, exactly twelve, M.— AH the irate keeners knew him, and testi fied to having seen him depart at the identi cal moment. The Russians have lone exhibited a re markable taste for juggling, and all that smacks of the marvelous. Conjurers, pro fessors of natural magic, ventriloquists, aud the cu'ire race of mountebanks, who iu France and England astonish the gaping crowds at races arid country fairs, ever find a ready welcome and liberal encouragement among the higher classes in the Russian cities. About the beginning of the present century a species of Cagliostro, or rather a superior kin i of Wizard of the North, made his appearance at Bt. Petersburg, and as tonished the natives by his marvelous per formances. His name was Pirnetti, and his fame is retained in the memory of those who have witnessed his unrivalled talen's. The Czar Alexander, having heard Pir netti so much spoken of, was desirous of seeing him: aud one day it was announced to the conjurer that he would have the hon or cf giviug a representation of his magical powcr.-r at court, the hour fixed for him to make his appearance being seven o'clock.— A brilliant ahd numerous assembly of la dies and courtiers, presided over by the Czar, had met. hut the conjurer was absent. Surptised end displeased, the Czar pulled out his watch, which indicated five minutes after seven. Pirnetti had not only failed in being ia waiting, but he had caused the court to wait, aud Alexander was no more patient than Louis XIV. A quarter of an hour and no Pirnetti. Messengers who had been sent in search of lii:n, returned unsuc cessful. The anger of the Czar, with diffi culty restrained, displayed itself in threat. ning exclamations. At length after the lapse of an hour, the door of the saloon npeued, and the gcutle mau of the chamber auuouuecd Pirnetti, who presented himself with a calm front aad the serenity of one who had nothing to reproach himself with. The Czar, however was greatly displeased, but Pirnetti assumed an air of astonishment, und replied with the greatest coolness. 'J)id not your majesty command my presence ar seven o'cloek pre cisely V 'Just so,' exclaimed the Czar, at tho height of exasperation. 'Well, then,' said Pernetti, 'let your Ma jesty deign to look at your watch, ami y>u will perceive that I am exact, and that it is just seven o'clock.' The Czar, pulling out Lis watch violently in order to confound what he considered a downright piece of insolence, was completely amazed. The watch marked seven o'clock; lie looked at the clock of the s iloon, which had been twenty times consulted during the space that the assembly had been kept wait ing: the clock also marked and struck seven o clock! In turn the courtiers drew out their watches, which were found as usual exactly regulated by that of their sovereign. Seven o'clock! indicated with one accord all the clocks and watches of the palace. The art of the magician was at once manifested in thi6 strange retrogression in the march of time. To anger succeeded aston'shment aad admiration. Perceiving that the Czar ! smiled, Pirnetti tbus adJresscd Liut: '\ our majesty will pardon tne. It was by the performance of this trick that I was de sitous of making my first appearance before you. Hut 1 know bow precious truth is at court, it is really neees ury that your watch should tell it to you sir. If you consult it uow you will find that it marks the real time.' The Czar oucc more drew forth his watch —it pointed to a few minutes past eight? the same ratification had taken place iu all the watches of those present, and in the clocks of the palace. The exploit was fol | lowed by others equally amusing and sutpas ! s!n s- At the close ol the performance, the Czar , after having complimented Pirnetti brought pback to his remembrance that, in the course iof the evening's amusements, he had de i clared that be could penetrate everywhere. 'Yes, sir, everywhere, replied titc oonjn- I ter, with modest assurance. 'What,' exclaimed the Czar, 'could you I penetrate into this palace, were I to order all ■ the doors to be closed and guarded?' 'lnto this palace, sir, even into the apart ment of your majesty, quite as easily as I should enter iuto tuy own house,' said Pir netti- 'Well, then,' said the Czar, 'at mid-day to morrow I shall be ready in my closet with the price of this evening's amusement, j them. Hut I forewarn you that the doors shall be carefully closed and guarded.' 'To morrow at mid day I all have the honor oi presenting myself before your ma jesty,' and he Lowed and withdrew. Two gentlemen of the household followed the conjurer to make sure be quitted the palace, they accompanied him to Lis lodging and a number of the police surrounded the dwelling from the moment he entered it.— The palace was instantly closed, with post tire orders not to suffer, under any pretext whatever, any one to enter, wore he prince or valet, until the Czir himself should com mand the doors to bo opened. These or ders were strictly enforced, confidential persons having watched their execution.— The exterior openings of the palace were guarded by the soldiery. All the approach es to the imperial apartments were protect ed by high dignitaries, wli-un a simple pro fessor of the art of legerdemain possessed no means of bribing. In short, for greater se curity, all the keys had been carried into the imperial cabinet. A few moments pre vious to the hour fixed for Pirnetti's inter view with the Czar, the cbamberlaiu on ser vice brought to his majesty a despatch which a member had handed him through an opening in the door. It was a report from the minister of police that Pirnetti had not left home. 'Abu! he has found out. that the underta king is impracticable, aud has abandoned it,' observed the Czar, with a smile. Twelve o'clock sounded. While the last stroke yet reverberated,the door which communicated from the bedroom of the Czar to the cabinet opened, and Pirnetti appear" cd. The Cz.r drew back a couple of pa ces, his brow darkened, and after a momen tary silence, while fixing a suspicious look on Pirnetti, he said, 'are you aware that vou may become a very dangerous individ ual?' 'Y'es, sire,' he replied, I am only a hum ble coujurer, with no ambition but that of a musing your majesty.' 'Here,' said the Czar, 'are a thousand roubles for last night, aad a thousaud more for this day's visit.' Pimetti, in offering bis thanks, was in terrupted by the Czar, who with a thought ful air inquired of him, 'Do yon count on remaining some time in St. Petersburg?' 'Sire,' be replied, *1 intend setting off this week, unless your majesty orders a pro longation of my sojourn.' 'No,' hastily observed the Czar, 'it is not my intention to detain you, and moreover,' he continued, with a smile, 'I should vainly endeavor to keep you against your will.— You know how to leave bt. Petersburg as easily as you have fouud your way into this palace.' 'I could do so, sire,' said Pimetti, 'bnt far from wishing to quit St. Petersburg stealthily or mysteriously, I am desirous ot BEDFORD. PA., FRIDAY. AUGUST 7,1857. quittiug it in the mast public manner possi ble, by giving to the inhabitants of your capital a striking example of my magical powers.' Pirnetti could not leave -iko an ordinary mortal; it was necessary that he should crown his success in the R pis tan capital by something surpassing his previous effirts, and he announced he shoulji leave St. Pe tersburg the following day at ten o'clock in the morning, and that he t&uuld quit all the city gates at the same moment. Public curiosity was excited to tli highest degree by this announcement. St. Petersburg at that time had fifteen gates, which were en compassed by a multitude tiger to witness this marvelous departure. The spectators at these various gates all declared that at ten o'clock precisely, Pir netti, whom they all perfectly reeoguized, passed through, 'lie walked at a a'.ow pace, with head erect, in order to be seen,' said they, and 'he bade us adieu in a clear and audible voice.' These unanimous testimo nies were conGrmed by the written declara tion of the officers placed at every gate to examine the passports of travellers. The inspection of Piruetti's passports were iu the fifteen registers. Wheic is the Wizard whether coming from the North or South 0 *- y who could perform so aslbn'wbing au ex ploit. AN IRISHMAN'S RESOURCES. Mr. Meagher, in Lis speech at the St. I'atriek's Day diuner, told the following: Paddy Shannon was a bugler in the 87th regiment—the Faugh a-ballaqhs —and with that regiment, tinder the command of Sir Hugh Gough, served all tbfougu the Pen insular campaign. When the campaign was over Paddy had notkfcg left hiiu but the recollection of it. llif only solace was the notice taken of him i.V tho canteen. It is no wonder, then, he became a convival soul. From tho bottle he soon found his way to the halberts. The regiment paraded, the proceedings : ' y.j? —p J given for the drummers to begin,when Pad dy Shannon exclaimed: "Listen uow, Sir Hugh. Do you mean to say you arc going to flog me ' Just re collect who it was souuded the charge at Boressa, when you took the ouly French eagle ever taken. Wasn't it Paddy Shan non ? Little 1 thought that day it would come to this; and the regiment so proud of that same eagle on the colors." "Take him down," said Sir Hugh, and Paddy eseapeu unpunished. A very short time, however, elapsed be fore Paddy again found himself placed in siuiular circumstances. "Go on," said the Colonel. "Don't be in a hurry," ejaculated Paddy; "I've a word to say, Sir Hugh." 'The eagle won't save you this time, sir," "la it the eagle, iudeed! then I wasn't go ing to sav auy thing about that same, though you are, and ought to he, proud of it. But I was just going to ask if it w.. sn't Paddy- Shannon who, when the breach of Turifa was stormed by 22,000 French, and onyl the 87th to defend it,if it wasu't Paddy Shannon who struck up 'Garrytown, to glo ry, boys, and you Sir Hugh, have got. the same two towers and the breach between them upon your coat of arms in testimony thereof." "Take hitu down," said the Colonel, and Paddy was again unscathed. Paddy, Lowevcr, had a long list of ser vices to get through, aud a good deal whiskey, aud ere another two months pas sed he was agaiu tied up, tlj sentence read and an assurance from Sir Hugh Gougb that nothing again would make him relent. Paddy tried the eagle—it was of no use. He appealed to Sir Hugh's pride and the breach of Tarifa without any avail. "And it is me," at last he broke out, ; "that you are going to flog? I ask you,; Sir Hugh Gougb, before the vhole regiment, who knew it well, if it wasnlt Paddy Shan who picked up tbe French Field Marshal's staff at the battle of Victoria; that the Duke of Wellington sent to the prince Uegent,and for which he got that letter tlat will be long remembered, and that mads him a Field Marshal into the bargain ? The Prinoe Ke gent said,' You're sect me (he staff of a Field Marshal of England.'—Wasn't Pad dy Shannon that took it ? taddy Sliaunon, who never got rap, or recotnpnse, or ribbon or star, or coat-of-arm-, or nark of distinc tion except the flogging you are going to give biui." "Take hitu down," cried fir Hugh, and agaiu Paddy was forgiven. KF~\Vhen Dr. H. and a Uy. r A. were walking arm in arm a wag std to a friend : j "These two are just equal tione highway man." "Why," was the rfponse. "Be cause," rejoined the wag, 'it is a lawyer aud a doctor — your money f yoir life." LONDON SHOP WINDOWS. But, after all, the grand source of gra tuitous entertaiumeut in London is the shop windows and the shops. Here lies the great exhibition, wbicb is perpetually open to all comers, aud of which uobody ever tires.— It is an awful bluuder to suppose that those only profit by the display in shop-windows who are in a positiou to purchase. Every shop front is uu open volume, which he who runs may read, while he who stands still, may study it, and gather wisdom at the cheapest source, which may be useful for a whole life. To the money-less million, the shops of Lor.dou are what the uuisersity is to the collegion: they teach them ail know ledge; they are history, geography, astro nomy, chemistry, photography, numismatics, dynamics, mechauics—in a word, they are science iu all its practical developments— aud, glorious addition, they are art in all its latest aud noblest achievements. While to one class of observers they are a source of inexhaustible amusement, to another they are a source equally inexhaustible of instruction. Therefore it is that the me chanic nud artisan, out of work and out of money, wanders along the interminable miles of shop-fronts, peeriog here, puzzling there, guessing iu this place, solving in that, some one or other of the mechanical pro blems presented to their view. A common thing with men aud lads thus circumstanced, is to sally forth in groups to dissipate the weary hours of enforced idleness by gazing in at the shop.windows, aud speculating on this or that uokunwn mate: al or contrivance: and guessing, or if practicable, iuquiriug iuto the circumstance of its produce or construction. A weli known source of gratis recreation to the unemployed is what is called "a picture fuddle," when a party of idle ban us wiii hunt up all the print shops aud picture spops iu a whole district, ana spend perhaps the whole day in the contemplation of this gratuitous gallery, which having the charm of novelty, recom mends itself more than do the rooms of the National Collection of the loug chambers of the British Museum. Others may pre fer "a book fuddle," and these roam from stall to smll iu the second hand book dis tricts, beguiling the time by a chapter from a dog's eared Pickwick, or a browu-study over the columns of au old Mechanic's Ma gazine. There is no end to the entertain ment derivable iu tolerable weather from shop stalls and shop windows; and it is our □octou tuat nc uceu ut - viv.v-i rtitow, in deed, who would undertake to specify iu set terms the influence they have had in form ing the mind, character, and habits our city population.— The Little World of London. Tilt: MOON- The Boston Courier says:—lt has long been known that the moon revolves on its axis in the same time in which it revolves rouud the earth, and that it consequently always presents nearly the same side towards the earth, while the opposite side is never seen t'roui our globe. No bodies of water nor clouds can be seen on the moon by the aid of the most powerful telescope, nor is the apparent direction of stats eio-e to its edge euatiged by refraction, as would be the case if an atmosphere enveloped the moon. Hence it has been inferred by Whetwell, the reputed author of a late work entitled "Of Plurality of Worlds," that the moon has no atmosphere or water, and, consequently, no inhabitants. This inference is showu to he conclusive by a recent discovery of tbe astronomer Hansel, wbose study of the tuoou's motion, continued for many years, established tbe fact that the ceutre of gravity of the moon, instead of being like that of the earth, at the centre of figure, is beyond that ceutrc, and farther from the side next to the earth than it is from the other side by seventy four miles. The nearer side of tbe moon, therefore, is a vast protuberance or moun tain, seventy-four utiles high; and any fluid, whether air or water, would flow downwards from the neater to the farther side of the rnocn, where for aught we know, intelli gent beings may exist. The ueartr side of the moon cannot be inhabited, at least by beings to whoso existence air and water are essential, as in the case with ail terrestial animals. It has been discovered within a few years, by means of long oontiuued, hourly obser vations with a barometer, that the moon exerts an appreciable influence on the pres sure of the atmosphere; aud also by means of long continued magnetic observations, that it exerts an influence on the declina tions of the magnetic needle. The existence of this "influence on the pressure of the atmosphere" from the moon, may explain why people are arc "moon struck," as it is termed, aud possibly those who have beeu supposed foolish in thinking that the moon's ctianges affected the wea ther on this earth of ours were of philoso phers than fools. How TO QUARREL WILN YOUR WIFE —(An unfailing recipe ) Wait until she is at her toilet preparatory to going out. She will be sure to ask you if her bonnet is straight.,remark that the lives of ninc-leuths of the women are parsed in thinking wether their bonuet is straight, and winding up with the remark that you never knew but one who had any common sense about her. Wife will ask who that was. You, with a sigh, reply, "Ah ! you never mind." Wife will ask why you did not marry her then. You say abstractedly, "Ah' why aid 1 not marry her ?" The climax is reached at this time, and a regular row is sure to follow "TO PERSONS OUT OF EMPLOY MENT." Co to work. Take off your coat, roll up your sleeves and look about you. If you cau't find auything congenial or remunera tive iu the city or town, betake yourself to the country. Better weed gardens and tend j sheep, or follow the ploughshare barefooted, and tread on the furrows,or to act as a scare crow in acorn-field, thauremain in the city, out of pocket, out at the elbows, in dobt.in distress, and in misery generally. Don't be afraid to commingle freely with your mother earth, and theu sit under a cataract and be washed clean—be invigorated and feel like a man. The country is the place for you, decidedly,where the sunbeams steal through the cracks in your chamber aud dance flings on the flocr, where one doesn't have to walk a mile and a half to sec the sun rise, arid where the waiving grain bows gracefully to the gentle breeze, and eggs can be had for the hunting. Ome there, and re-invigora ted, aud you will look with pity upon mor tals walled in by brick aud mortar on all sides with the heavens fur , Jar before them and no hope of ever reaching that blcssed ) abode. THE GERMAN AND UH SOUUKROCT.— Some amusing incidents occasionally occur in our police courts. Here is one. A day or two ago, a German entered one of our police courts, were Justice Flandreau was presiding, wbeu the following dialogue took place : Dutchman—Jleester Joodge, 1 van's a varraut. Judge—What do you want a warrant for ? Dutchman—l tells you vat for I vant a varrant: A man comes to my house and likes my vife; but 1 no care for that. Judge—Well, what did be do then? Dutchman—Yell, he triuks my lagcrbie r, then kiss my vite,but 1 cares nothing for dat. Judge —Well,what does the man do then that you waut a warrant against hint ? 1 Wuhmwn nltor bo ♦rtttko my in gerbier, he pools his hand on my vife; but I no care nothing for dat. Judge—Well, what does he do then, 1 have no time to listen to a long rigmarole story 1 Dutchman—Veil, then he takes his hand off my vife and puts in the sourkrout bar rel aud throws it on the floor, and dat is j for what I vant a varrant. j The Judge declined the application.— j JY. V. Tribune. ORIGINAL AND STRIKING SIMILE.— i At a recsnt meeting in New York, the Rev. Mr. Cuyler told the following amusing story: A city buck of the Broadway order went into the country, and they invited him to a deer hunt. lie had seen the deer antlers, and had a lively notion of venison, but he knew about as little of the live animal as he did about the guu they gave him. They placed him where the deer was to pass and told him to fire as soon as he saw bim. II e stood and trembled. Soon he heard the baying of the bounds, and before long there was a crackling of the underbrush, and be fore loug there was a er*ek!ing of the un derbrush, and a magnificent deer rus bed by with immense antlers, and bis tail erect.— The city buck still stood and trembled.— The huntsmen came up aud asked why he did uot shoot? IJis lips trembled, as be answered, 'I saw nothing but the devil go by with au arm chair ou his bead, and bis haudkerehief sticking out behind. !YP"T understand you are now in de milk business.' 'Yes Sam,' said be, 'lse now iu de nrilk bisness—fus rate bianess, —paysweli.' 'Glad to hear it, bones.' 'But a feller stoppe me de udder day an says he. 'Bones, you orter to shingle dem cows of youru." '■Shingle your cows. Why what in de world did he ax you to shingle de cows for !' Boues took a loug breath,aud casting a sly glance at Sam, replied : 'To keep de water from running in de milk." To KEEP BUTTER SOLID AND SWEET IN HOT WEATHER. —Have a stone jar, (or butter firkin, the first is the best,) half full of brine, that will float an egg. Sngar may be added, but it is not indispensable. Into this drop your rolls, or prints of butter,when thoroughly worked and ready for use. Keep the jar closely covered, and will probably not have a plate of oily butter on the table all summer, —unless you are iu the hab>tof putting your butter upon the table instead of the last thing, at uiesl times, —1 have known such. o°"Viee stiugs even in our pleasure,but virtue consoles even oar pains. VOL. 30, NO 32 TAKING OUT AN EYE TO MEND IT.—TUC Leipsic Journal of Literature, Science and Ait, publishes an account of the wonderful discoveries, of Br. Graeff for disease of the eye, and the wonderful cures he performs, lie has found the ball of the eye to be transparent, and by a curious instrument examines minutely the interior, takes it out and performs aoy necessary surgical oper ation, and replaces it without injury to its appearance or vision. A young girl had loug been afflicted with excrutiating pain iu the left eye, the canse of which the met learned could uot understand. Dr. Graeff found iu the eentre of the ball a littia worm, which he removed, and restored the poor creature immediately to health aud perfect sight. His office is thronged all day by the poor, praying for relief. • - ••• - - !U"'l say, Sambo, does you know what makes the corn grow so fast when you put de manure on it!' 'No,I don't know,cept it make the ground strong for de corn.' 'No, I just tell you; when the corn begins to smell de manure, it dou't like de 'fumery, so it hurries out of de ground aud gets up as high as possible, so it cau't breathe bad air.' IT/"" A maiden lady, not remarkable for either youth, beauty or good temper came for advice to Mr. Arnold as to how she could get rid of a very annoying and troublesome suitor. "0, marry--marry bim" he advised. "Nay, 1 would see bin hanged before I would marry him." ' 4 NO, madam, marry him, as I said to you and I'll assure you that it will not be loDg before be hangs himself." ffy"A distinguished philologist says that although many modern cynics continually assert that the world is given up iu these days to the worship of money, be has dis covered that owing to the peculiar formation of the words, "gold" can never be synony mous with "god" until you knock 1 out of it. The estate knowa a3 Montpclier, ID Vir ginia, and distinguished as the former resi dence of President Madison, Las just been sold to Mr. Thomas S. Carson, late of Bal timore, but now of New York, for the sum 0f§37,250. The estate embraces 1,165 acres, and therefore realizes §32 per acc. t£7"A veritable young gentleman, four years old, recently threw his maternal rela tive into a fit of admiration by tbofollowing speech :—"1 like most of all kind of cakes —pound cake, sponge cake, and jelly cake, but I don't iike stomach-ach. [LPTIie following is Prentice's last and best squib : An old woman up iu Henry is j collecting all the Democratic papers she can lay her hands on to make soap of. She says they arc desput site better than ashes—they are most as good as clear "lie." [£?*Wbo but George D. Prentice could have originated the following * "The Roman Fornui is now a cow market, the Tarpeian Rock a cabbage garden, the Palace of the Caesars a rope-walk, and Ash land the residence of J. B. Clay." [Cp-The young lady who burst into taars has been put together again. When you "strike a balance," has bal ance a right to strike you ? SIP"Why is a man making love to a mar ried woman like a sheriff levying oa the wrong man's goods ? Because he's the vic tim of a "misplaced attachment." ff]f"The woman io Ocean eouuty, suppo sed to have been frightened to death by the Comet, has recovered, having only fallen into a comatoze state. I I . | If you would relievo the pain of a burn apply the white of an egg so as to exclude the burned part from tbe air. It is better than any other remedy. [£P"Tbe man who was so forgetful that he forgot bis honest debts, we learn, has bad his tueuiory jogged by a "Justice of the Peace,, SEr"The Chinese think that tire soul of a poet passes iuto a grasshoppet, because B sings till it starves. ff/~The saying that there is more pleas ure in giving than in receiving,' is supposed to apply chiefly to kicks, medicine and ad vice. [LP"Why are the country girls' cheeeks like well printed cotton * Because they are warranted to wash and keep tbe color, O"""0, dear, Mr. Foster, you jest, when you sav that my baby is the mcs handsome one you ever saw; you must be sou-soaping it." "Well, madam, I thought it needed soap of some kind."