ER, FAILS iT FREe gE and All, lene Gas, Yet Soft Se ie can gO group of t noticing em wear seems to ire many; ses. The ht be du- lew Alice ught she said so note to the child ished her Orne day, tion, the nd found had been er school etic ques- Alice had was put head had that she. hat was aused by Ir Ameri~ the poor The, yel~ ordinary; ky chim= > eyes as ring light! ie bettér, brilliant teadiness d a glare te nerves 7 new il duces as ht as has ar white, iant, yet ~ like the olors ap= ry easily he simple yurchased it. a very; vlene can ts in the ed. It iS and used ing into churches, ll kinds, t that as ses, there , particu- eyesight therefrom! duced by te ciety wo- 1 old par- had only ed an ex- ight idea s for her gave the le woman nd bided r turn to sh prizes. he booby e on the prize and of the nally the idea won day and The par- ome. He his eyes h disgust ever.” — "ay ? cven tha ake really JTOPEr ma h coffee of > that has, l kinds cf » of Taam t—and the "FEE. o ret best fee. ther fine. n, and one it with a ce a thick if egg is to ow one of dd boiling, utes only. _aside five ly. your cold to a boil. water, and! e. . ten min- boiled be- TFEE, e white of und Lion of eggs. water and utes, then! ich pro- for the ted from of which yr Children inflamma- 5¢.a bottle, - stable in tion saved omAs Ros- ‘eb. 17,1900 success fo - eonfidences that mean nothing BT Need of Tact. The first thing the invalid notices when his tray is brought to him is its daintiness. It takes very little extra work to make things attractive. A flower laid on the tray, or a pretty doily, does’ more good than can be imagined by a well person. Variety of dishes and doilies is another small thing which often induces the invalid to eat. Surely, tact is needed to per- suade people to eat when they have absolutely no inclination to do so. Way to Buy Gloves. There are more important consider- ations than their color and the num- ber of buttons. Black gloves are gen- erally less elastic than white or col- ored ones, and cheap grades are dear at any price. Dressed kid usually re- tains its freshless longer and is more durable than suede, says an exchange. The best and most serviceable kid is soft, yielding and elastic. A glove so small that it cramps the hands and prevents graee of motion gives poor service. Short-fingered gloves are ugly and certain to break soon be- tween the fingers, if not at the tops. The way in which a glove is first drawn on and shaped to the hand has much to do with both its beauty and durability. Unless you have ample time, do not have them fitted at the shops, but at leisure draw them on as hére rec- ommended and, if possible, wear them half an hour without closing the fing- ers. In buttoning a glove the greatest strain comes upon the first button, so before attempting to fasten this but- ton the others, commencing with the second one,~and finish the first but- ton last. : Women’s Clubs in Paris, French husbands are now much ex- ercised over the proposed women’s clubs in Paris. Some wlo assert that they are thoroughly conversant with Parisian life see difficulties in the successful running of a woman's club. It has long been noted that conversa- tion in French drawing rooms and at dinner parties is general. . Anecdotes, epigrams, reflections, and are intended only to stimulate others to verbal activity are for the benefit | of the whole company. Furthermore, the same people frequent-the same drawing rooms. We read a day or two ago that ome may be in French society for a long time without in-, creasing the circle of acquaintance; that there ‘is small opportunity of making close friendships, of going be- yond the limit of ordinary: inter- course, “simply because coming to close quarters with your guests is de- nied you by the rules. of the game.” It is argued, therefore, that this is difficult ground for a club “where every onc does not necessarily want to speak to every one, and where priv- ate friendship must constitute its real foci.”—Boston Herald. ’ Points About Character Reading. = Character reading from the feat- ures is a very fascinating study, and the eyes are perhaps the most inter- esting subject of all. Large clear blue eyes denote a ready and great capacity, also sensi bility of character, but their owner is difficult to manage, jealous, inquisi- tive and fond of enjoyment. Deep-seated eyes receive impres- sions accurately, definitely and deep- ly. Round-eyed persons live much in the senses, but are not great think- ers, although they see much. Nar- row-eyed people see less, but think more and feel with greater intensity. Now as to color. The hazel-eyed woman never tells too much or too lit- tle, never descends to scamdal, pre- fers her. husband’s comfort to her own, and is shrewd, intellectual and loving. : Great thinkers have gray eyes, for gray is the color of talent and shrewd- ness, but these generally indicate a better head than heart. Green eyes betoken courage, pride and energy. Black eyes show a peppery disposi tion, and may be sometimes, though not always, treacherous. Men have light eyes oftener than women, but the percentage of brown and hazel eyes, neither pure light nor genuine dark, is very nearly the same in both sexes.—Washington Star. The Restful Woman. “She is the cleverest woman of my acquaintance,” was the verdict of one neighbor on another, “because she is not in the least dull, and yet manages to be resiful. I know so many bright women—bright in all sorts of differ ent ways, but all alike in one thing. They are never reposeful. They are strung up to concert pitch. They amuse you, charm you, stimulate you, dazzle you—but they never, mnaver rest you by any chance,” says Mar- per’s Bazar. “Jt takes ability to be restful. Dull, placid, solemn women are more apt to be exasperating than soothing. The full life that flows smoothly is hard to attain. And yet the greatest service a modern mother can do her children is to bring them up free from nerve strain, which she cannot hope to ac- complish if she is always on the strain the rush of the life of today, make it all the more necessary to maintain within the home an atmosphere of serenity and sweetness, so that, the threshold once crossed, the outside noise and clatter and strife are left securely behind. “This is perhaps an old-fashioned conception of home. Many women nowadays want to turn the home out into the street, so to speak, and make ‘the world’s work’ everything and the home life nothing. But a restful home, once experienced, is a joy above the promises of progress to dis- turb; and a restful—and intelligent —woman alone can make it.” Sunbonnets and Tub-Hats. The sunbonnet girl is to "have a great vogue this season. From the wee tot just commencing to walk to the grown up “girl,” who, perhaps has youngsters of her own, tub-hats and sunbonnets will be worn for various occasions. The outing trunk will not be well equipped if there is not plen- ty of headwear of this order, which may go to the laundry with the sum- mer gown and other accessories. For wear with shirtwaist suits there will be all sorts of dainty creations to suit even the most fastidious. One of the pretriest shown is made of cut- out embroidery on a jaunty shaped wire sailor foundation. This frame is covered with soft, white mulle to dis- guise the fact that a frame is a neces- ity. Upon this the circular embroid- ered crown is lightly tacked, and the embroidery brim adjusted, after which the folds of ribbon with a bow at one side are tacked into position. Two 18-inch squares of cut-out em- broidery will make the hat. Fold the squares and make the corners round; then cut a circular piece from the center for thé crown; edge this piece with embroidery, and edge the brim with embroidery slightly shirred. One piece is, of course, tacked over the other underneath between the top: of the crown and the joining of the brim. These tub-hats are made: of em- broidery, India linen, mulle, pique, lace, pongee, and many other fabrics that lend themselves to such uses, and are variously trimmed .with-em- broidery, lace, ribbons, flowers, silks and velvets, which, if unwashable, may ‘be removed before the hat is sent to the laundry.—Ladies’ World. Woman’s Privileges. She can wear her hat on one ear without being suspected of a “convi- vial disposition. : She can say. a thing one day and contradict it the next, and no one will cali her a prevaricator. = She can shed tears on thesslight- est provocation, which will merely prove to people that she is tender- hearted and sympathetic. She can be as inconsistent as an | April sky, and her instability will be thought charming. ! She can look openly into every mir- ror she passes without being accused of more than a natural feminine inter- est in her appearance. : She can spend a good deal of time considering her clothes and prinking up her person, and who shall say that it is not a proper attribute of her sex to be beautiful? She can wheedle a man into almost anything by artful methods, and nev- er lose her reputation for artless sin- cerity. She can succumb to all the little weaknesses of womankind, such as coquetishness, jealousy, vanity, trick. ery, inconsistency and infantility, and all these things will be smiled at and condoned as enhancing her feminin- ity. Whereas if a man did any of these things he would be spelled in capital letters as frivolous, unstable, weak, vain, untruthful, foppish, hypocriti cal, flirtatious, mean, fake and silly. O Femininity, what a curious thing thou art that thou shouldst be ac- counted as covering such a multitude of sins!—Chicago Journal, Fashion Hints. From tip to toe the summer girl will be embroidered. Peacock designs flaunt themselves in the face of superstition. Narrow Irish lace vies with Valen- ciennes for smartness. A white linen parasol bordered with colored batiste is good. New are the belts of open eyelet embroidery over colored linings. Serge is pronounced all right for the walking gown. The new hats are lovely enough to tempt a woman rushing the season a little. Spats of white linen and pique are threatened to succeed the cloth ones so mauch worn. Numbers of hats are made of trans- parent Neapolitan in black, white and colors. The woman who can’t wear all white fastens a big red bow to her bodice front and wears a twinkling Jittle pair of red slippers. Everybody talks about the new ribbons, and in truth they are things to conjure by—whole fields of lovely flowers caught up and imprisoned in SCIENCE NOTES. The moon is usually supposed to solidified from the centre to the peri- phery, but lunar photographs have convinced two leading French astron- omers that the surface hardened first. This view modifies various theories. The picture telegraph of Dr. Korn of the University of Munich has been so perfected that in ten to twenty minutes a photograph 4x7 inches in size can be sent through a resistance corresponding to one thousand miles. The flavor of hens’ ‘eggs is declared by an English medical man to be very ‘materially affected by food, When hens act as scavengers their eggs are made unfit. to eat, but a diet of sunflower seeds produces remarkably fine and sweet eggs. Analyses of 350 samples of coal from forty-four French, Belgian, German and British mines have shown M. Sal- lard that a good coal should contain about two percent of volatile matter and not more than six to eight per- cent of ash. The coating on the scales of fish has has been studied by a recent investi- gator. He attributes the fish’s agility of movement and sustained life in wat- er to this substance, and has at last produced a composition identical with it. This artificial coating is claimed to be moisture proof and a preserva- tive, and when applied to ship’s bot- toms it keeps them free from = bar- nacles, thus tendfng to give increased speed. ; An outbreak of 12 cases of small- pox at Newcastle, England, last year has mystified the doctors. No ordi- nary source of infection could be dis- covered, but it has been found that on the days when eleven of the patients probably contracted the disease the wind was blowing from one or the oth- ‘er of two. , smallpox hospitals—one about a mile away, the other about two miles. It is pointed out that flies, a pest of hospitals, may be carried long distances by the wind, ..,.,. Professor. J.-J. Thompson has de- livered his concluding lecture at the Royal Institution ‘on the electrical properties of radio-active substances. Though radium, he said, was so expen- sive, it seemed one of the most com- ‘mon elements. Cambridge tan water and the soil of the ground contdined large quantities, and he had found it in wheaten flour. How it got there he did not know, but a specimen of flour was radio-active, ‘and ‘no doubt it would produce radio-active bread. : .GROWTH OF THE TELEPHONE., Its Marvelously Rapid Development Since 1876. . The. telephone made its debut at. the Centennial, and two years passed be- fore capital would take any notice of the “toy” that English scientists pro- claimed “a marvel” And now in léss than the lifetime of a generation, cap- ital has poured more than $1,000,000, 000=into the promotion and construc- tion of telephone service. Yet, if the pioneers who blazed the pathway for telephone exchange de- velopment. had comprehended all the trials and the losses, the bitter com- petition and the costly litigation that would have to be endured, it is doubt- ful if any would have had the courage to imperil business reputation in so ‘hazardous an undertaking. Far more swift was the progress of telephony than was ever recorded in any other industry and none ever had to face panding demands. field was to be held, or an unexpected building of lines and the installation of new apparatus. sources. financiers would have none human gullibility and human greed. of the inventor and his tireless part ners, plans so broad in their compre hensive scope as to partake of the nat tem of telephone service would modify or re volutionize prevailing methods in in dustry and commerce and prove an es affairs.—New York Commercial. Likely to Be Thwarted. on moving 50 miles Economy, I suppose? out of him on traveling herself. The restlessness, the noise, bands of shimmering silk. Chicago News. such peculiar, ever-changing, ever-ex- One set of tele- phone equipment would scarcely be in- stalled before it would have to be dis- placed by improved apparatus, if the marvelous growth in the number of subscribers would compel complete re- Storms of wind and sleet came, wrecking miles of pole line; lightning frequently burned out every coil in the plant; the newly-in- vented electric lights came rendering the service useless after nightfall un- winning the plaudits of mankind the world over, lies not in the fact that its foundation was laid by men who were skilled in the knowledge of an established art, or who wished re- For in the beginning, tele- phone and handcraft were yet unborn, | it, and of “Bell's curious toy” successful The crown was won against the combined forces of lack of knowledge, of the destructive power of the elements of This transcontinental system is the realization of the implicit faith of the pioneers in the ultimate materializa- tion of the carefully thought-out plans ure of a prophetic vision that one sys- electric-speaking telephones would cover the continent, and that sential factor in business and social Mrs. Gaye—So your husband insists from town? Mrs. Flye—Yes, but won’t I take it costumes!— Little Kindnesses. You gave on the way a pleasant smile, And thought no more about it; It cheered a life that was sad the while, That might have been wrecked without it. And so for the smile and froftogy fale You'll reap. a crown sometilne—some- where. You spoke one day a cheering word, And passed to other duties; It warmed a heart, new promise stirred, And painted a life with beauties. And so for the word and its silent prayer You'll reap a palm sometime—some- ‘where. o You lent a hand to a fallen one, A life in kindness given; It saved a soul when help was none, And won a heart for heaven. And so for the help you proffered there You'll reap a joy Sometime—somewhere. — Monitor Magazine, Cincinnati. In Praise of the Swallow. St. Thomas Aquinas said: “Where the birds are, there are the angels.” St. Thomas, it is true, said it in Latin, and the rendering given is a bit free, but it expresses what the good man meant. Most of us who have reached mid- dle life lived boyhood’s days in the country. A surplus of sentiment isn’t necessary to make one connect an- gels with the old home where the trees were, the river ran and the swallows nested. The country-bred boy knows the swallows better than he knows any other birds. Since barns were built the swallows have colonized them and have given some- thing of cheer and companionship to every hour of the farmer's day. The swallows of Europe, writes Ed- ward B. Clark, in the Chicago Even- ing Post, are about the only birds which are holding their own in num- pers. The people love them and pro- tect them, as their ancestors loved and protected them back into and probably through the days of savag- ery, for there isn’t the slightest doubt that the swallow shared the home of sthe. eave dweller. The bird has: a ‘place in folklore second to none . of the feathered family. In all literature save the "American, it holds honored place. Why" the American, who was born ‘and brought up with the barn swallow and the eave swallow, has not done something worthy of it either in prose or in. poetry, is one of the puzzles of life. tae _ There are several species: of Amer- jean swallows, the best-Known; being the. barn swallow, the’ blue-backed ‘beauty, which builds on. the rafters within the barn; the eliff or eave swallow, “which builds- its nest under the eaves. on.the outside of the barn; the bank: swallow, which excavates a nest in the sand and river. banks, and the martin, the fine ‘creature in its garb’ of Tyrean purple, who build in birdhouses or in the crevices of build- ings. oY ¥ ¥ : Stn i The Europeah prototype of the barn swallow is “The swallow twittring from the straw-built shed.” Gray’s line, however, is only one ‘among 10,- 000 that have been written by the English-. and the Continental: poets about this bird of the home., °* The Little Old Story. There was once a little old man and a little old woman, and they lived in a little old house on a little old farm. They had a little old cow and ‘a little old@ horse and a little old dog and a little old cat. One day the little old man dug him a load of potatoes and started oif to the" little old town to sell them. The et and went out to the little old barn to milk the little old cow. But no an over. She was so badly hurt that “pipsy, Tipsy, O Tipsy!” The little old dog came and walked not what to do. saying, “Go for your master, Tipsy! til the circuits were rearranged; the | tle old dog, who was sitting looking at trolley made metallic circuits a tech-| her with his little old tongue hanging nically determined necessity; all in| out of his little old mouth, trotted off the brief span of cight years. down the. road to town. So the glory of the marvelous He found the little old man in a achievement of the vast trans-contin-| store, where he had just sold his ental telephone system that is now | potatoes and was putting his little old pocketbook in his little old pocket. little old dog. “Tipsy, Tipsy! could travel. -| 1ay, still groaning on the ground. -| he came in his little old buggy, so that she was soon well again. 10 eat, little old woman took a little old buck- sooner had she begun her milking than the little old cow picked up her little old feet and kicked the little old wom- she could not get up, so she lay on the ground calling to the little old dog, around the little old woman and knew By and by she began Go for your master, Tipsy!” The lit- “Why, bless me, there's Tipsy!” the little old man cried when he saw the Tipsy took the little old man’s coat- edge between his teeth and pulled at is there anything wrong at home?” the little old man asked him; and when the little old dog kept on pulling, the little old man ran out to the little old hitching rail, un- tied the little old horse, jumped in his little old wagon and whipped up the little old horse to as fast a trot as he When he finally got to his little old house he saw no little old woman any- where about, so he quickly drove back to the little old barn, and there she The little old man picked up the little old woman in his arms and car- ried her into the little old house and - {| 1aid her og. the little old lounge. Then - | they sent tor the little old doctor, and with | his little old fat gray horse and gave the Mttle old woman a little old pill, But they all knew that if it had not been for the little old dog the little old woman might never have got well so they gave him the best in the house but they sold that little old cow to the little old dairyman, who lived in a little house back of a little old hill. And every day the little old . dog Tipsy would trot down to make a visit to his friend, the little old cow. —G@Grace MacGowan Cooke. in St. Nich- olas. Our Dog. “He was a little flustered on first entering the chapel—so many people there, and all sitting so quiet. In this there was something awsome for Our Dog, and when out of this unnatural quiet they rose suddenly to sing, Our Dog was frightened and would have run out of doors, only the doors were closed. He soon recovered himself. They were only folks after all—such as he saw eyery day in street and house. “He began to recognize ome after another. He tried to get up a little sociability with them, but they took little or no notice of him. Everybody seemed strangely constrained and al- tered. Our Dog is a pet, and this cut him. But his is a self-reliant, recup- erative nature, so he threw himself on his own resources for amusement. He was delightfully ignorant of the pro- prieties of church or church service. The choir is separated from the con- gregation only by a slightly raised platform. On this walked Our Dog. Again there was singing. He smelt first of the organ; he then smelt of the organist and wagged his tail at him. The organist looked with an amused and kindly eye; but he could not stop. Our dog then smelt of the basso-pro- fundo; he smelt of the tenor; he smelt them on one side and then on the oth- er. Then he went back and resmelt them all over again; also the organ. That was a little . curious. There might be a chorus of dogs inside and that man at the keys tormenting them. To him, at any rate, it was not melody. He walked around it, and smelt at ev- ery crack and corner to get at the mystery. He tried to coax a little familiarity out of that choir. They seemed to be having a good time; of course he wanted a hand or a paw in it himself. It was of no use.; He stood and looked and wagged his bushy tail at them as hard as he could. But, selfishly, they kept all their pleasure to themselves. So he left ‘the choir and came down again among the con- gregation. There, sure enough, were two little girls on the back-seat. He knew them; he had -enjoyed many a romp with them. Just the thing! Up he jumped with his paws on that back seat; vet even they were in no humor for play. They pushed him away, and looked at each other as if to say, ‘Did vou ever see sucn conduct in church? “It was rebuff everywhere. Our "Dog would look closer into this mat- ter. The congregation were all stand- ing up. So he walked to the open end of a pew, jumped on it, and behind the .people’s backs, and. walked to.get in front of the little girls, that he might have an explanation with them. Just then the hymn ceased. Everybody sat down with the subdued crash of silk and broadcloth. Everybody on that bench came near sitting on Our ‘Dog. It was a terrible scramble to .get out. uli : “Still he kept me employed. There was a line of chairs in the aisle. In one of these deliberately sat Our Dog. If everybody would do nothing but sit still’ and look at that man in the pul- pit, so would he. But somehow he ‘moved one hind leg inadvertently. It slipped over the chair’s edge. Our dog slipped over wita it and came as near tumbling as a being with four legs can. All this made noise and at- tracted attention. Little boys and girls and big boys and girls snickered and snorted and strained as only peo- ple can snicker, snort and strain where they ought not to. Even some of them made queer faces. The sexton then tried to put Our Dog out. But he had no idea of going. He had come with our folks and he was not going until they went. The strange man grabbed for him, and he dodged him time and again with all his native grace and agility. This was some- thing like; it was indeed fun. The sexton gave up the chase; it was ruin- ing the sermon. Our Dog was Sorry to see him go and sit down; he stood at a distance and looked at him, as if to say, ‘Well, ain’t you going to try it again?’ e¢ “Then, in an innocent and touching ignorance that he was violating all the proprieties of time and place, Our Dog went boldly up on the pulpit stairs while our minister was preach- ing, and stood and surveyed the con- gregation. Indeed, he appropriated much of that congregation's attention to himself. He stood there and sur- veyed that audience with a confidence and assurance which, to a nervous and inexperienced speaker, waquld be bet- ter than gold or diamonds. He didn’t care. ®e smelt of the minister. He thought he'd try and see if the latter were in a mood for any sociability. No; he was busier than any of the rest. The stupidity and silence of all this crowd of people who sat there and looked at him puzzled Our Dog. “He could see no sense in it. Some little boys and girls did smile as he stood there; seemingly those smiles were of him. But so soon as he re- ciprocated the apparent attention, so soon ‘as he made for them, the smiles would vanish, the faces’ become sol- emn. And so at last, with a yawn, Our Dog flung himself on the aisle floor, laid his he=d on his fore paws and counted over the beef bones he had buried the last week. Not a word of the sermes touched him; it went clear over his head.”—Lippincott’s Magazine. Pertinent Query. “Yes,” said the fat passenger, life once hung by a slender thread.” “Why didn’t the mob use a rope?” queried the hardware drummer, as he lichted a fresh coffin nail.—Colum- bus Dispatch. “my A GENUINE BARGAIN. The “mark-downs’”’—so he always said—at a department store, Were never really genuine—‘‘just fakes and nothing more!” But one glad day a “lady clerk” of whom he chanced to buy A bill of goods quite won him by the sparkle of her eye. She told him she was “twenty-three,” and they were married soon, But by the time the happy pair had spent their honeymoon He deemed a bargain he had found at that department store; He'd got a bride for ‘twenty-three, marked down from thirty-four!” in Saturday —Nixon Waterman, Evening Post. JUST FOR FUN FO {12 “My! old man, you're going bald.” “Going! What are you talking about? I was born so!”’—New Yorker. Cricket—How do you feel? ‘Shade Tree—Great! I'm just spreading my- self these days!—Detroit Free Press. “Have you ever dreamt you were in heaven, Bobby?’ ‘No. But I once’ dreamt I was in a jam tart.”—Punch. Church—These chauffeurs seem to think the ordinary pedestrians are be- neath them. Gotham—Well, too often they are!—Yonkers Statesman. “If you started out to live up to the Golden Rule and do as you would be done by, what would you do first?” “Lend you $10.”—Cleveland Leader. “Do you think that vegetarianism conduces to a more placid condition of mind?” “Yes. It prevents worry about meat bills.”—Washington Star. Astonished Traveller (twenty-five years hence)—Why, this isn’t Niagara Falls, is it? Dejected Native—No, ma’am—jest Niagara,—Chicago Trib~ une. Bacon—Th firgt apple produced was in the Garden of Eden, was it not? Bgbert—Yés, and the first pair was turned out there, too.— Yonkers States- man. Hatry—Say, papa, is a man’s wife his better half? Papa—That is the popular belief. Harry—Then what part of Solomon was all his wives?—Chi- cago News. “A Chicago court has decided that trimming a woman's hat is not an art.” “What else could the court have de- cided? Trimmers get big money.”— Chicago Record-Herald. “And who was the little girl we met in the sideshow of the circus?”. “Oh, that was the child of the whirling der- vish.” “Ah, a daughter of the revo- lution, eh?”’—Chicago News. J Old Lady—Are these genuine Indian mocassins? Fresh Clerk—Yes, indeed. Old Lady—Do tell? Fresh Clerk— Yes’ ma’am; made on the “Last of the Mohicans.”—Philadelphia Press. Nell—I’'ve decided to marry your cousin Jack. Belle—The idea! Why, Jack never said word to me about Nell—Oh, Jack doesn’t know it yet.— Philadelphia Ledger. Church—I hear Rockefeller has put a lot of money into a new church or- gan. Gotham—Perhaps he thinks he can blow the taint out of it in that way.— Yonkers Statesman. “Fave you decided where you will spend the summer?’ “Almost. My wife and daughters have got their choice of resorts narrowed down to seventeen.”’—Chicago Tribune. “A man in public life should learn to say ‘mo. ” “Yes,” answered the beef magnate. “And when there is an in- vestigation on he should learn to say ‘I don’t know.’ "—Washington Star. “Yes, my wife calls her little Skye terrier ‘Sampson.’ “That's a queer name for such a puny little thing.” “Well, you see, he’d be nothing with- out his hair.”—Philadelphia Ledger. Stubb—The idea of naming a cigar after that boodling politician! I think it’s an outrage. Penn—So do I. He is so bad they should have named a cigarette after him.—Chicago News. “Are your papa and mamma at home?’ asked the caller. “No,” re- plied little Marguerite; “one of them may be here, but they never are both at home at the same time.”—Chicaigo Record-Herald. Visitor (from the sunny South)—I am told there is, a theory here that your climate is changing. Host—There is no theory about it. It’s a recognized fact. Our climate is always changing. —Chicago Tribune. Church—I see the total number of passengers carried by electric lines gach year in the United States is 5,- 836,000,000. Gotham—Do you suppose that 836,000,000 of this number find seats?—Yonkers StateSman. “Father,” said the small boy, “what is the difference between a statesman and a politician?’ “A statesman, my son, is the man who gives advice gratis, and the politician is the one who gets the situation.”—Washington Star. “Deah me, Chawley, heah’s a scien- tific French fellow who says that the future man, don’t you know, is going to be legless as well as brainless.” “Good gwacious! and I've just gone and invested in a silvah plated trowsers stretchaw!”’—Cleveland Plain Dealer. One Bird Barred. “Can we keep birds?” inquired Mr. Younghusband, who was looking at the fmt. “Well, you can keep canaries and such birds as them,” replied the gen- ial landlord, “but there’s one bird barred from these apartments.” “What bird is that?” “The stork.”—Louisville Courier Journal. Sahai ae di dn
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers