The Johnstown Democrat. - : v ""v "•*'; • PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, No. 138 FRANKLIN STREET, JOHNS,) i v -V, CAMBRIA CO., J'A. TEItMS-81.no per year, payable In advance ; outside the county, tirteen cents additional tor fostage. if not paid within three months am will 1>" ' barged, a paper can be discontinued at any time by paying arrearages, and not akhenvUte. The f.itlir ■ to direct a discontinuance at the expiration i,f the period subscribed for will be ■tnsldcreil • 11 ■ -,v engagement. .Win Subacrlp l*tins must bo n. coaipanled by the cash. L. D. WOODRUFF. Editor and 1 1 ul>. FRIDAY 2¥OVEMBER In. ISSO. m ——r : OFINItKREST i O HUB PUBLIC SCHOOLS. There is ye! in the hands of some au thorities to wnom it was entrusted con siderable money that was contributed for the relief of l lie sufferers of the Cone mnagh Vallev. The persons in charge of those tiind-. nmounting in all cases li ■tatty thousands of dollars, are dissatis fied with the mode of distributing the re lief, and have already expressed their in tention of diverting the money from the purpose for which it was raisod'aud ap propriating it to some other philanthropic purpose. And now since the different school districts of the Valley have suf fered heavily, and several of them have contracted heavy debts to replace their lost property, might not they, if they take united and harmonious action, ob tain the use of those funds. In no way con! ! -uclt money be more usefully cmp'-iy ! titan in putting the pu! ' ds of the valley on good foot- jag ..Id give the people much eu eoi. nt. In several boroughs the ch I bell has not yet called the children together. Winter ir nigh and the time that should be given to school work is passing rapidly away We would suggest that each Board in the flooded district appoint one of their number a representative to meet like rep resentatives from the other Boards, and nri.Kc a united effort to obtain these Sunds, which we have good reason to be lieve they can obtain if proper steps be taken. And let it he done soon too. The time and place of meeting of these repressntatives can be duly announced, and an equitable and satisfactory ratio af distribution between tiie several dis tiicts determined upon. INDECENT HASTE. New York World. President Harrison showed himself to be a willing participant in the plot to steal a State, by the indecent liasie with which he issued the proclamation admit ting Montana to the Union. This action was the trick of an utiscru pnlous partisan, not the deliberate and dignified proceeding of a President ot the United States. It was of a piece with *h<; action of the State Canvassing Board in Montana in acceptiug the "climina- Mon" of a Democratic precinct, and rc turning a Ilepublicau Legislature as elected. while the contest over this dis trict was pending in the courts. Since that rascally "sharp practice" was indulged in the Court has decided that the rejected votes were legally cast and must be counted. The election judges have counted them as they were cast, thus carrying out the expressed will of the people. A Democratic Legislature is the logical and legal result. And yet, by rushing out this proclamation, Presi dent Harrison sought to fix the status of Montana in accordance witn the robbery planned out and executed by the Repub lican National Committee. It is a trick wortliv of the President who caused a Federal Judge in Indiana to reverse his own ruling in order to shield from punishment Sir. Harrison's friend, who organized bribery in that State in " blocks of five." By this act Benjamin Harrison makes himself a pal of Dudley and Quay in the theft of Montana. AND now that Vice President Morton, through a second party, opened a hotel, the Shorehani, with a bar attaclied, there to i?reat display of open hostility on the part of the W. C. T. U. in their National Convention at Chicago. " It's bad enough," said the ladies. " for the Vice President to be a seller of liquor, but ■when we consider that he may, by acci dent. any day !: "come the Presdent of tin Country, it m ikes luu case so mm li the worse. Wo ilo i'i vuntinu chief execu tive in the business ot u barkeeper.' Other tcnipi-riiiKi' people are also el about the siuiie opiulott. Tiieu there are those who point to the fart that many high in places in church affairs arc in terested in tin- li'pior business and de five profits 'herefrom. Trinity Church m New York City has property leased to fkpior dealers, from whicu it derives a crge revenue. All this goes to show that ■oßt men will invest their money where the profits promise to he the highest. It will he interesting to see how the Vice President behaves in the face of the op position to his har. Will be yield '! ONE of the firs', things to he done by the ew Democratic Legislature of Ohio is to wake a new Congressional appointment. The existing one was made by a Republi can Legislature, and gave the Republi oans fifteen Congressmen to six for the Democrats. A previously made appor tionment, plauncd and passed by a Democratic Legislature, gave the lfepub ions ten ..and the Democrats eleven Goij?reamen. This of •imrse did not suit Republican methods, lieucc the gerrymander of four years ugo. One result of the election of a Democratic Legislature in Ohio will be the recovery of the stolen Congressmen. A.TKKmni.E tragedy was enacted in Lex ington, Kentucky, FrHay. Col. William Cassius C(5o(lloe, Collector of the Sev enth district, stabbed and killed his pre decessor, Col. A. M. Swope, and was himself ttttallv snot. These men were Republican Colon**", and conspicuous in Keiitucky as well as National politics. The duel grew out of a political feud. The Republican party of Kentucky is at best a lather alinhhy affair. It is unfor tunate for the party teat at the momi nt s heti it is staggering under the blows de livered it. New York. Virginia, Ohio, and lowa its principal representatives in Ken tucky should ferociously slaughter uwch eriker over a tpiesliou of sootls. I'iie usual post-election talk is now go ing the rounds. What caused it? Wmd's to blanc ? and questions of a like import ate lavorile topics with both parties. And Mr. Benjamin Harrison, tlie White House occupant, is reported to be anxious to know what caused the politi cal upheaval. lie is even said to lie wor ried an ' vexed about the course things took. The German-American vote of Ohio and other Slates, lie thinks, had no cause for behaving as it did Titic President says lie was actuuluU y no impropei motives in so hastily admit ting Montana. But tome people wonder why he admitted the State before the election disputes, that had begun in the Teriitorial Courts, were tin-illy settled. The authorities had given no evidence of not being able to manage the affair. Tint Repulli cans now claim tlie clt-c tiou of all their ticket iu lowa, except the (governor. The vole on the other caudhiutcx is very close, ami it will take the ofticial canvass to decide which are elected. Waits tin- administration look up Ma hone iu Virginia, it made an egregious blunder. The people had been waiting to get a stroke at the brigadier, aud how well they struck, 100, when the opportu ne v came. Is Ohio it is believed that For titer is the only Republican candidate on the ticket, who was defeated. The ofticial count is not yet completed. , ~K thousand people viewed the re mains of Slate Treasurer Hurt, yesterday, as they lay iu slate lu the l.upitol at liar risburg. Now that several of our citizens liave replaced the sidewalks in front of their properties, let many others follow. CONSOLIDATION seems to he the order of file day. People are suggesting the uuiou of Pittsburgh and Allegheny. LAST year Pennsylvania polled 1)77,700 voles ; this year only liO-1,500 votes were cast. itailicr Koii|;)i. Two well-kuowu local physicians were out tlie the other day, examining a pro posed site for the new hospital Contin uing their investigation to quite a dis tance from the site they encountered one of the natives, " to tlie manner torn," " Arc you fuller's agoin to start a slaughtery down tli .r '< " was his iuqtiiry The doctor's reply lias not yet been ascer tained. St. Mark's Kelt. The bell belonging to St. Mark's Epis copal Church lias been put oil an elevatidn iu the rear of the temporary church 011 Locust street. It was rung on Sunday for the first time since the flood. It is the only thing the people of St. Mark's have of their former fine church, and of course they prize it highly. It was found in Kcrnviile rfter the flood. To the Funds. Representatives of the Junior American Mechanics of the State met representa tives of the different school districts of the flooded part of the valley yesterday forenoon to arrive at a basis of distribut ing the school relief fund that lias been raised by the order. The representatives got figures from the different flooded dis tricts and will themselves agree upon the basis of distribution. The Cliirk-Niiuglw Foot Ruce. The foot race between Fred Naugle and Pat Clark, two well-kuowu local sprinters, took place yesterday in Pitts burgh. The race was seventy-five yards, for £11)0 a side, Naugle conceding Clark live yards start. Natide made two false sbiris, ii imr thrown back one yard for each. Clark woo the race be about three yards. I-T.tjjmaii stve*' Funeral. William Stevens, tiie flagman. wlw> was killed in the wreck near Klltnnning Point on Friday, i I lie buried at Gallit/.in this forenoon. He was a son of Mr.-David Stevens, of Oallltzin, and had been married about a year 10 a Miss MeCloskey, who, witli one child, survives him. AKhvillr'M 1100111. The town of Asliville, along the Cresson & Coal port Railroad, i* experiencing a boom. A new vein of coal i* being open ed there, and will be worked on an ex tensive scale. Several hundred miners will be employed as soon as the drift is completed. Hard to I'leane. From the New York Tribune. The people who complain about the bad ventilating of churches are often the very people who declare that the preacher gives them nothing but wind. It 1 is hard to satisfy everybody. THE ENCHANTED WOOD. tin from the outward world you pass— ..list where the forest si, nts the plain— An open booh lies on the {{rum. And there for years untouched has lain. The Icuvoaare yellow now with age. But one moy read lu letters free. As the wind turns the ragged |>uge. The (dotted name - Philosophy Tls said u student one day stood Outside the bounds, when on him fell Tile mystic power of that wood. And IsKe cost over him a spell. Then long he strove to enter there; But guardian spirits in army Prevented him. until despair And made him throw the hook away Bad theu, when he at length hod eaat Tile stern Philosophy aside Love bade him enter, held him t.vst As conqueror of Self ami Pride And now In dim, enchanted nooks, Kuled by a Isive that never fails, Se seeks no sympathy of books- Love whispers to him fairy tales Outside, swept by the wind and rails Philosophy, unrated lor, lies. It cannot enter law's domain; It was not meant for Paradise -Ftavel Scott Mines in Harper's Wens if A Sensational Letter. An nmusmg hoax appears to have been perpetrated upon the foreign press in tlie shape of a letter ulleireti to have been written by the present oznr prior to his ascension to the throne, to the taraous editor and pansla ,ist leader, Aksakotf. whose widow died a few weeks ago. Tlie document in question. which hears the date of May 22, 18110, contains hitter comments on tlie class of courtiers by whom the imperial family was sur rounded, and comperes the highest of ficers of state to contemptible lackeys. The publication of the letter in question has excited an immenseamountof atten tion throughout Europe, and it appears to have been copied in almost every foreign newspaper of any importance. The whole thing is, however, hut a hoax. The letter in questiou, instead of having been written by the present emperor, was addressed in 1790 to Count Kotchou bey by the Urand Duke Alexander f'aul dtch, who subsequently ascended the throne as Alexander 1 Tlie courtiers referred to in sucli bitter terms were the ignoble favorites of his grandmother, Catherine 11. The original letter will be found in the first volume of the "Life and Times of Alexander I," published by C. Toyneville in 1874.—Exchange. Shot Off 11 in Companion** (inn Barrel. 1 was hunting <juuil near Reidsville, N. C.,six years ago, with S. 8. Harris and James Play, of that town. Harris and myself wetr walking side by side, when two birds were flushed at the same time. Harris w on my left jiud lirvd at the bird on my right. 1 firing at the one on Ins left. Titus cross tiring, both fired simultaneously. Harris killed h's tird, but 1 did not. Harris said my powder was not good. We walked on about thirty paces, when Harris lowered his gun to extract the empty shell Suddenly he exclaimed: "Look! the ends of my gun barrels have bursted off. We examined them and found they were not bursted. but 1 had shot theiu oil' as smoothly as if they had been coru stalks when we cross fired. Wo walked back to the spot and found five inches of his gun barrels lying there. I have one of the pieces now and will mail it to Judge Uildersloeve if desired. This is an iron truth—nothing fishy about it. If you desire reference 1 refer you to Mr. (leorge Gary Eggleston.—Gor. New York Evening World. Tho Light* In tho Wludow. A pair of worthies that used to prac tice before the Washington liar were en gaged in giving "straw" bail and in other ways securing the relerso of [iris oners for a small consideration. They rented a room which formerly had been a drug store, not far from the police court, and kept a tight burning there all night for the benefit of "late arrests" who might wish to obtain bail rather than spend the night in the police sta tion. The druggist who had occupied the place before tlieni had failed to re move the blue and yellow bottles from the window. One night two lawyers passing up the street saw the light. "Whose place is this?" asked one of them. "Smith & Jones; felonies compounded at all hours of the night." w;i§ the reply. —Cor. N. Y. Tribune. About I lie Chinese. Mrs. Emerson says that while the Jap aneno are becoming more civilized daily the ( hinose are in the same old spot, and v !'. if anything. "I believe it is due i the government," she remarked. "It looks witli distrust upon all new methods proposed by Europeans and Americans. I lived one winter at Pe king." "llow do you spell that?" "Why, Peking, of course. It is often spelled Pekin in the United States, but nowhere else. In olden times China had two capitals. Nanking and Peking, lng is the Chinese word denoting capi tal. To distinguish between the two places the northern capital was called Nanking and the southern one Peking. So the correct word is Peking."—Chi cago 1 imes The IlewarriM of Talent. Old Mr. Elazced—They do say that Bill Smartly has done real well play actin' since ho went to New York, an' lives in groat style. Mr. Hummer—Yes. I went and called upon him when I was down there. Old Mr. ilazeed—And don't he live away, way up? Mr. Hummer—Yes, about thirteen sto ries.—Drake's Magazine. It Iluppeun That Way. "Yes, sir—yes, sir," lie observed as he rubbed his hands together, "the next alderman from our ward must be a clean, decent, honest, intelligent man, and a credit to his constituents. Yes, sir—yes, sir; we have made up our minds to that —all citizens irrespective of party. We shall go in en masse. The candidate? Why, he'll ho selected from my party, of course!"— Detroit Free Press. LIGHT AND AIRY. llobHou'M Choice. Always Haiti Ylty-uso* JVheu I wed. My wife she Gyrl lift hev to he Hen a miller sfcia; Mighty weet, Hair an' sich, Figger neat Uluck ez pitch, Rz you'd ask to see Ryes ith midnight till Hhe must wear Uuryun thet Sorrel hair One ez set Curliu' tlito an' thoo: In his ways ez mo, Skin must show. Should go hack White ez snow. On the track Lyes a cl'ar deep hlue or a sol idee. Twani't thet 1 Altered my Notions, hut I guess Them thet grows Sick of "Does.' Jumps at anv "yes!" -1L vv McGlasson in Time Of Course. Man (to friend)— See tliui follow standing there listening to that hand organ lie must bare never heard one before Friend—Oh. not that, but he is hungry for a tune Man—Easy enough, 1 should thing, to sat isfy so inexpensive an appetite Where could he have been keeping himself to become so hungry for a tune, as you express* it. Friend—Traveling with a grand opera com pany. —Arkansaw Traveler A Novel Way. £usan—Oil. dear, 1 wish Charley was mado of pop corn Mo 1 lie—What in creation do you want Charley turned into pop corn for' "Then I d build up sueh a hot fire in the parlor some night t.iat he'd have to 'f>op whether he wanted t<< or not lui getting tired of waiting "—lJausvillo Breeze Anglo-Mania. The lYinee of Wales may will and dare To some eccentric garment wear A garment which of loudness smacks, Bm which the Anglo-maniacs Adopt with ituiNt complacent air The royal maimer debonair They copy hoping thus to stiure The hoiii: .• which tie never laeko— TJIH Prince of Wales Bo be it EuglisJu nuitght they care. From cut of cout to cut of hair. Until in time upon tlieir backs They'll spurt the si ri |>e.H that English Jacks As mutineers were wont to bear Tin* prints of wales F II l \iHiss in fudge Ahsoluie (test. City Editor ito roporteri—Billings, you are overworked Billings,— J four NO, sir. City Eilitor—You need absolute rest. Bill ings, uinl must have it. Go out ami report the donations iniule to tlm worlil's fair com mittee.—Arkansaw Traveler Why Ht* Stayed at Home. First New York Anglo-inuuiao— What's up, Dick' I haven't seen you at the cluh for two i lays. Seeoud Anglo-tnaiiiac—Haven't you hoard? Why, they've been expecting another riot in London and I didn't dure to go out for fear I'd get hurt.—Judge An Autumn Rhyme. Tli" leaves are lii a withered whirl; How quick the seasons pass We leave with sighs the summer girl. And woo the winter lass Gone Is the Mazer's beauteous stripe From mountains and trom pier The cuappie dons his darker clothes, Left ove.r from last year And she who wore a bathing suit Alarmingly iieiiro. Now wants a sealskin ulster That rejiches to her feet. -Late Thome in Time Explained. "I see the French people call a chestnut a 'rossiguol,' " said Squibs'oy, the fuuny man. "1 dou't see the : onnectiou, ready, because a rossiguo' is a nightingale." "Oh, well," replied .Mrs. Squibsby, "may he they've all heard a nightingale before."— Harper's Bazar Two Stand points Bessie—My foot slipped yesterday and I got it wet in the lake. Churliu came and pulled me out It was so fortunate tho water wasn't over my shoe. Jennie—Churlie told hie about it IJe said it was over your head and he saved your life. —Epoch. The Pessimist. THE UK-ST DEFINITION VET GIVEN. 1 would not be a heavily Ih*o If all the world were given me. I would not be a bear or bull II down ou Wall street I'd a pull. I would not be a cow or sheep, A In-n. or dormouse, lust asleep, •eld not lie a do;* or cat, . hunt, u duck or rat, i followed out my plan i not even be a man i. If 1 were wholly free who my lot, I wouldn't be •s Davis iu Commercial Advertiser yielding at His Views. Jock—How is it, Algy—do you like married life n well as you did club life? Algy —Yes. about the same. Jack—As I remember it, Algy, you never carfi much for club life. • nlgy—No; never cared about it.—Judga A Question Answered. Huntei—l say. Ole fellah, Ls there anything in these woods? Fanner V/ayhack—Yes, sir. "What's in 'em?" "Thirteen acres of woods an' a big swamp hole. (J'laug, Dolly!" Dansville Breoze. Disenchantment. While* wo uze in admiration (.'it .i • n ,U - tuwt. Ami inn? outv • ums'e fhi'oagti i.hkc .■ . ii lijaMruu pass. We re awfully Mi"ct;.*l • . s - tier Down the gur.icn i aitiwa) stride. And hear her cry \>ay. Jo.malt), come in (Jr mother will tan your hide"" Boston Courier Occultism In Boston. Ethel ill years oldi—l tiave secured mam ma's permission in come over and spend the afternoon with you Mabel (7)— That's nice. You sit over there and read Undbury's "Geneihlialogia" while (finish Ptolemy's "Tetrabiblos."— Judge. Mario Do You Hear It? Now across the onclcyard gate Bounds the old domestic yell. As Ophelia calls to Kate, "Cau't you make your Jelly jel I?" —Springfield Homestead. Pleasant for Both. Ed—l love you, Allio. Allie—How pleased Charlie will be to know It. We were married this morning.—Epoch. The Press. What time the printer falls in love, He sure can do no less Than show his chosen lass how great The power of the press -findc SIMULATING DISEASE. STRANGE CASES MET WITH BY PHY SICIANS AND OTHERS. How People Pel£ll Injuries and Oilier I)i bllitieH —Several Illustration* 1 akon from Life —How the Deceptions Are Discov ered. A man. apparently in great bodily pain, was found lying upon the sidewalk at Front and Chestnut streets, by a police man The man had fallen "all in a heap." and lus story was that he had been way laid and beaten A patrol wagon was summoned, but when an attempt was made to place him in the vehicle lie com plained of such exquisite pain it was found necessary to discard the patrol wagon and to carry the man on a stretch er to a hospital On arriving at the lat ter institution he was carefully removed from the stretcher to a eot in the receiv ing ward, and, although handled very tenderly, the change of position seemed to aggravate his suffering Singularly enough, when the surgeons made an ex animation, it was found that when a pin was stuck in any portion of the man's liodv below the neck he apparently failed to fuel it. and the natural conclusion un der tlie circumstances was that he had sulfered a spinal injury, it was then proposed to place the patient under an ami'sthetic. with tlie view of pel-forming ail operation, hut when the man heard tliis lie jumped oil the cot and darted quickly out of the hospital gate and was soon lost to view He had been "playing possum." but for what reason will, per baps, never be known TO AVOID TIIK DKAFT Such cases are not infrequently met with by physicians in their regular prac tice and at hospitals and other charitable institutions Either to excite sympathy, or from other motives, people sometimes cultivate the power of simulating dis eases Those individuals are known to the medical profession us "malingerers," and they become particularly numerous on certain occasions. During the civil war. at the time conscriptions were made, it was surprising to see tlie number of able bodied men limping along with canes and apparently suiTering with rheiiinu tisui or other crippling ailments. While it is not always easy, even for an expert doctor, to detect between real and sim ulated disease, yet he can generally dis tinguish between the geiiuiiiuami feigned rheumatism by the maimer in which t man plants his cane on tlie pavement To understand the difference it is only necessary to watch a man who carries a cane to assist him in walking and one who flourishes a cane for pleasure Among the disorders generally simu lated are fainting and epilepsy. Both have been so well counterfeited as to have been mistaken for genuine cases it is only when heroic measures are proposed that the imposition is disclosed. Not long since an up town physician, while pass ing an open air religious meeting on Broad street, had his attention attracted to a middle aged woman, apparently suf fering with aa epileptic attack She was surrounded by a group of sympathetic men and women, and one of the lattei had procured from a neighboring resi dence a pinch of salt The woman re covered consciousness, however, without the use of the latter remedy. On the following Sunday the physician noticed tin- same woman in church, and, thinkingsho might he seized with another spell, took a seat several pews from her Sure enough, un attack came on. to the discomfiture of a number of nervous peo ple The poor woman was carried out to the vestibule of the church, and the physician followed. The seeming epilep tic seizure passed off in about live rnin uf< K FEIGNING DEAFNESS. The next Sunday there was a repeti tion of the attack. The woman, who was a stranger to the congregation, was again taken to the vestibule, and the physician who had previously attended Iter was ngain called upon Thinking that the attack was simulated, he pro posed that a settee should lie procured and the woman carried through the street to a police station, in a twink ling the woman sprang from the chair in which she had been placed, hurried from the building and lias not since ap peared at the church. One of the methods adopted to mis lead is to feign deafness. This is one oi the tricks resorted to by men who desire to avoid being placed upon juries. (Jen erally. however, the judges are able to fathom the deception, and, by the use of a little stratagem, it is easily exposed. Men who simulate deafness will clasp an ear in the palm of the hand and lean forward as though the auditory nerves were strained to catch what was said. In an unguarded moment the supposed deaf man is asked a question in an ordi nary tone, to which he generally replies and his deception is unmasked. As a rule. however. illness and other plm ic:.i disabilities are simulated by people xvlio wish to avoid worts or who des'iv to obtain admission to some in stitution where they may live without cost to themselves, and sometimes by conviets with the hope of bettering their condition In fact very many diseases are feigned, but in the hands of u skill ful physician they are soon exposed. A common method of simulating apoplexy is by falling down as if deprived of sen sation and consciousness Powerful stimulants, an electric shock, the appli cation of hot water or an imtr.tion of the nostrils, quickly detect the imposi tion.—Philadelphia Ledger, Old MauuMcript. A scholar named Musso chanced one afternoon to enter a bookbinder's shop in Paris Noticing that the man was about to cut up a mass of manuscript, ho begged leave to examine it. To his sur prise he found that he had hit upon the works of Agobard, a learned prelate of the ninth century. Seeing its value, Musso purchased the manuscript, and thus presorted a volume which con tained many valuable details of those early days.—Chicago Herald. A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM. 4 Chicago MUD Who Dr#Ul>''tl I'hut Ho i)reuied of Couiuoittlni; SuiHd" "Ever have a dream within a dicam and get the two all mixed up?" asked the man at the club whose specialty i 3 dreams. "Well; 1 had one the other night that has made me think some about it since. I thought 1 was walking., wtst in a mighty disconsolate frame of mind and wondering if. after all. life didn't cost pretty much all it was worth when I came to the Madison street bridge I stopped and looked gver the rail and fell to calculating how it would feel to take a plunge in the slimy depths, mid how much attention it would at tract if 1 were to climb overthe side and jump I had alt* ays thought that any body who ever conteinplated suicide a great fool to ever start for the other world byway of tlie Chicago river, hut at this time 1 didn't seem to hung quite* so closely to my former prejudice and was looking down at the black surface in a rather friendly way when somebody siopptsl at the rail a few feet away from me, heaved a sigh, and put his foot up on the lower hoard "At a glance 1 saw the man was a friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for several years and who 1 supposed to be in Frisco I spoke to IIIm and he turned with a startled exclamation of annoy ance. recognized me. and waited for me * to speak. I asked Inm what he was going to do He looked at me as mourn fully us the spirits in the 'inferno'did ai Dante, and said. '"l'm going to jump over this rail into the river. '! asked him what lie intended doing anything so foolish as that lor. and he told me with tears welling up to his eyes that the girl he loved was dead , "1 sympathized wiili liini with nil tuy heart because 1 was in u precisely similar fix. hat I told him lie was foolish anil .. that while it was natural for him to feel like that for awhile he wmld soon real ize that it was the height of folly to at tempt to remedy matters by dodging out of the world in this irregular and alto gether disgraceful fashion 1 brought all the philosophy I could muster to hear on the case und plumped it all at him, but he never wavered. He shook hands with me. told me to walk on and leave him. and turned to look over into the river again. Of course 1 didn't comply * with hi.s request. The horror of allow ing a huuiar. 'icing to rush to death over powered me with a shocking sense of realization, and I remember thinking how differently things affect persons when applied to others than the same conditions applied to ourse'ees. "1 persisted in my efforts 'o disuade the would he suicide from lu> rash act, but he was obdurate, and, dually, seeing that I wouldn't relent, he made a spring and threw one log over tin? rail. 1 f grabbed him to drag him back, and then | began a struggle. I saw some people > running from the end of the bridge, hut before they reached us my acquaintance loosened my grip on the rail and flopped me over riverward and together we fell. It seemed like we were falling to the center of the earth, and 1 felt the cold sweat stand out all over mo. Then we struck the water and —1 awoke. 1 held my breath involuntarily us 1 went down, which as a swimmer I was bound to do, and when 1 cams up I had an excellent opportunity of testing my ability to swim with all my clothes on. I saw the people running down the stairs to the dock to help me, and I struck out val iantly for the shore. When 1 reached it a rope was thrown mound 1 was dragged up oil the dock, where the bride 'wider and several others proceeded to afmso me fora blankcty-lilank idiot, who ought to have been left to drown. "I tried to tell them that it was all a dream, and that 1 didn't know the first thins; about it till I struck the water, but they looked at me with the most pro found disdain and said: " 'Oh. you weakened! You an't got no more nerve 'n a rabbit!' "Then the bridge tender grabbed mo by the dank neck of my dripping coat and took me up the steps and turned mo over to a policeman, who called a wagon and loaded me into it. 1 was rattled away to the station, while the officers in the wagon swore at me and the people on the streets turned to look after tue curiously At the station 1 was intro duced as a 'blank blank fool who jumped in the river and then changed his mind and yelled for help.' I hadn't yelled for help, and 1 knew it, but I thought I'd let that piss, inasmuch as I had been in the river. The desk sergeant asked mo my name and put it in his book with a charge of disorderly opposite, and 1 was hustled down stairs to be locked up. On the way down the officer gave me a shove, and 1 tripped and fell headlong down five steps and struck my bead. "That was when 1 did awake. Every thing was dark, and it took as much as a full minute to realize that I was in my own room, but half out of bed. The part of me that was in bed was my feet. The rest of me b.d fallen out and my bead imd cubit.cd ..b a box of books sitting at my bed s i. ad Luckily the bruise was oil tlie hack of my head, where it didn't show [| it bad been on my face I ould have been a sight 1 didn't go to sleep again for an hour, and you can bet when I did 1 was located exactly in the mid-ale of the lied Hal wasn't that n funny com plication of dream fancies?" —Chicago Mail He Had liven There. Roilrosd Superintendent (to applicant for position) - You were formerly em ployed as conductor on the P. Y.andX.? Applicant— Yes. sir. Railroad Superintendent—Did you ever knock down Applicant—-No. sir. Railroad Superintendent—l don't want you then. I was once a conductor my self.—Epoch. The Original Star Route. The Jupiter and Lake Worth railroad very properly claims the prior privilege of using the designation "Star Route." According to The Railway Age, the sta tions rm that short line are named Jupi ter, Venus, Mars, Juno.—Philadelphia Times
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers