Montour American FRANK C. ANCll.fi, Proprietor. Danville. I'n. Nov. 17- !«•«- DILLAWAY'S CISTERN. It Played a Tcllino Part In a Love Affair. By CLARISSA MACKIE. ICopyrli'ht, 1310. by American I'rrps A»so elation.) "Then you're going to make Stella wait aiiotlirr year before she gets mar ried?" gikcd Stella's mother anxiously. Samuel I Win way stroked Ills little gray hoard with one sunburned band and nourished a pipe with the other. "1 look at it this way," he mild dl •tactically. "The time has come for us to haven cistern on the roof of the extension, and .Joe Mellon seems to think the lime's proper for him nnd -Stella to get married. Now they can wait another year or two until I can better afford to have a wedding. In the meantime, I've got to hare that etatern. Some tine day we'll be run ning out of water, then what will you dor • "Nonsense, Samuel," protested Mrs. Dlllaway earnestly. "We've used the well for twenty-five years and it's nev er showed no signs of getting dry." "I can't afford a wedding, Celia," said Samuel decisively. "It won't cost you anything to speak of. Most of Stella's clothe* are made Mid we'll have Just a unlet little wed ding with nobody here"— "That's Just the kind," interrupted Mr. Dlllaway Jocosely. "If there's a wedding before 1 say so, there won't be nobody to It, and no Dlllaway was married without style." "Without fiddlesticks!" snapped Mrs. Dlllaway. "Something's got to be done. I shan't have Stella's life spoil ed Just so's you can experiment with a cistern. There's money and to spare for her to be married right now —this very week." "They won't be married in my house," exploded Stella's father, danc ing with excitement, "and I'll forbid the banns anywheres else." "Stella 'll be married to home here, and you'll give her away. Just put that in your pipe and smoke it!" said j Mr. Dtllaway's spouse, bustling back ; to her kitchen. Stella, a tall, pale girl, with tired ! gray eyes and pretty, pathetic face. S looked up wistfully as her mother en tered the room. "What did he say, mother?" "Same old story, Stella. Don't you care. I've got au idea." Mrs. Dilla i /k% ' i 'mm ' KRT.MKI.Y DRAGQKU. way rolled up the sleeves of her crisp i gingham gown and fell lo work amoug J the baking dishes with vigor. "You | got ready to be married next W'edmv j day evening at ti o'clock, and I'll guar antee your i ui* 11 give you uway fast enough." "You're the liost mother!" cried Sloe j lu Joyfully. Now I'll run down anil j tell Joe." On Wciliio-day afternoon of tin? fol- ' lowing week, the very day set for j Stella's marriage. Samuel Dilluv.ay ■ came Hauling up the walk to tin- kitch en door very li.ncb like one of his own i belligerent cockerels. "Scoot. Stella:" warm.l her mother. "Your pa's heard aboi;l Ihe wedding , Well, I should have told Mm in • few minutes any way. lie's got to h-. •• it broke lo him. Iml not till I get When Mr. Dilla way rca-hod Ihe kitchen door and Hung it wide "pen hi- • rushed straight into tin- arms of his j excited wife. "Samuel, whst ilie lan's up in the ■ cistern? I've heard l lie rpiecrost j sounds up there. Seems like some ! thing alive's in there If there is it | ought to be got out, for the wind's j around to the east, and we're hound to ! have rain tomorrow." Mr. Dlllaway. attacked on his weak est point, looked up at the great round cistern oerehed freakishly on the j kitchen roof, with long leaden pipes j running from the main roof of the | house into the covered top. It had j been completed the day before, and 1 Samuel was waiting impatiently for ' the first rains lo fall and enter the cis tern thai he might prove I hat his idea for supplying water to kitchen aud bathroom wobld work successfully to the utter confusion of the village wa ter compauy, whose yearly wator rates were much lower than the cost of Dilla way's itstern. From within the cistern there came queer, scratching, metallic noises and strange shrill cries of distress. Mr. Dlllaway removed his hat and coat and then climbed the ladder thai led to the kitchen roof Mrs. Hit' •way panted heavily up the bacli stairs and sneezed her ample form through a bedroom window and came out on the roof beside acr husband. "What you doing. Cella?" demanded Mr. Dillatvay testily. "You'll fall and break vour neck th-t's whit vim'" i»« on in we House ynlte confident Hint he hud been obeyed. Mr. Mill* away walked •ernes the erenkltn. rat tling till roof to the cistern, whose lop rosp three feet tilmte his homl. I/cad Ine up lo the top of the cistern was a narrow Iron ladder line half of the eln ular lid of the cistern was prop|ied upon From this opening there pro ceeded the strange sounds heard froin below "What Is It?" asked Mr» Dlllaway anxiously. "I don't know. Maybe It's the cat." "The cat's 111 the kitchen. Samuel Now. be enreful," for Mr Dlllaway | was propelling his small, round person | tip the ladder with dangerous rapidity. | ' "llcllo!" exclaimed Mr Dlllaway . fiercely, peering inside "What Is It?" pleaded his wife "Nothing much," returned Mr. Dilla way sarcastically. "Only one of my ' prize cockerel* chasing his tall around | down there. He's got lo get out of there tonight or he'll run himself to j death. Can you get the stepluddor out | to me. Colin? I've got to climb down ! Inside here." "I'll fetch It In a minute, Samuel, j The telephone's ringing. I'll be right j back. You might Just drop down that j three feet nnd be catching your bird: | 1 can get the ladder over to you." With that she was gone, nnd Mr Dlllaway waited in vain for her re- j turn, each moment growing more pep- . pery as to ti jper. Having requested his wife to bring the stepladdor Mr j Dlllaway would not demean himself by fetching it himself, so after a period of impatience he threw himself gin gerly over the edg.. clutched tightly j the rim and swung down inside the , cistern. Then he dropped with a clang ing thud to the dry, zinc lined floor of his cistern. Around this slippery surface he chas j ed the elusive cockerel in narrowing j circles until in some Inexplicable man- ■ ner he found that he was pursuing ' himself frantically around the well ! while the cockerel leaned exhausted | agalust the side. It was an easy mat ter to capture the bird and tie his legs j securely witb a handkerchief. "Cella!" called Mr. Dlllaway in a j commanding voice. He looked up at j the semicircular opening overhead and i saw the deep blue of the sky and notb | lng else. "Cella," he called again j "Where is that ladder?" His voice echoed with a hollow me \ tallic boom and seemed thrown back ( upon him. The cockerel squawked ! feebly. Steps creaked slowly across the tiu j roof without and some one laboriously j climbed the iron ladder nnd peered | rosy faced over the opening. It was Mrs. Dlllaway. "Where is the stepladdor?" demand- j j ed Mr. Dlllaway irascibly, j "In the house." I "Why don't you bring it out here? ' j I've got to get out of this." j "1 should think you'd like to stay in | it—it's a dreadful nice cistern. Yon think a lot more of it than you do of j your own daughter," returned Mrs. j Dlllaway quietly. "Nonsense, Celia! I won't listen to I ! sncli talk. You get that ladder down I | here at once." I "Not yet," said Celia. "Not till you j ; give your consent to Stella's marrying ' 1 Joe Slcllen tonight." "I'll do no such thing," roared Mr. i j Dlllaway wrathfully. "I see now. j j Celia. You put this cockerel in here j | yourself. It's a shameful imposition!" ' j "Y'ou coming to the wedding?" do : I inanded Colin. | "No!" bellowed Mr. Dlllaway. "I'll i | stay bore till doomsday first." "Very well. Samuel. I'll drop yei • ! down some wedding '-ako. i'lie nii.s ; ister's coming now. They'll !>e niarrie i j at i; o'clock, and .sicilii hoped you'd ; ! give her away - the IMUaways was a. J ways married JII style, you know!" sh • , flung back over her shoulder .as siic ' j backed down tile ladder. If Mr. Dillawuy had not been !<>-> busy working himself into a rage In | might have noted the strained anxielv !in her voice Win n her slops hr. ! ! I creaked away into the house he peered : j at Lis watch. It was .":3ft now. and i.i a half hour, if Ceiia kept her word. ' Stella would be Joe Mollen's wife. He j had been nicely duped. When several hours had passed Mr. i j Dillawuy again consulted his watch I and found it to be 0:4.1. Time certain- i j ly dragged in a lined cistern with [ no companion save a draggled cocke rel. ! There were distant sounds of arriv- | j ing guests. Once he hoard his name ■ I mentioned. They were asking for him. i j expecting him lo give Stella away. 1 Let the ungrateful hussy give herself j j away! : Another hour dragged, and it was ; Are minutes before is. Steps croaked ; j across the roof ami climbed the lad- ! dor. This time ii was Stella's fair , head out Unci I ag-ilnst the pale evening j "I'a. won t you come oul and give me awavV I don't want to be married 1 without you're there." faltered the bride tearfully ,\ hot drop splashed lonI on Samuel's upturned face, and ll I seotued to melt some hard little knot i in hts heart. "I'm coming up. Stella, just us soon jas your ma fetches the stepladdor. I | been waiting for her this last ton ■ hours. I gol my clothes to change, j you know. Tell your ma to hurry up." ! "Oh. yes. pa; I'm s<> :;lad." cried Stolla. disappearing from Mr Dilla i way's view. "And. Stella!" "Yes, pa." j "Don't you dare get married till T | get there!" : . i Scandinavians AcivertioO WHaiing. A floating exhibition, comprising n ! complete picture of the whale tlshin,- | and other industries of Norway ai.d i Sweden, is visiting Ihiltle ports. Syria Use 3 Steam Plowi. Tho American steam plow has V* gun operations in Syria. Pope's Preference. The I'rinee of Wales of Pope's time once said to the poet: "Mr. l'opo. do you not like kings?" j "Sir." replied the poet. "I prefer the! lion before lhe claws are grown." ! RHAIR R BALSAM ClMnat* and tMMiUftaf the hair. vH Vromote# a lniurianl growth. Fails to Beatore Gray Hair to its Youthful Color. ftcalp diMSMa h hair tailing. I ORIGIN OF LLOYD'S. Humble ■•flnnlnf of Ftcape'e Qrui Mar Mme Agency. Two centurte* ago a man who had a ear#o to send It the M-sllierrnnean i onirl*«l to »i-l rlil of some of Ihe risk by Ittdtii'litg a friend lit take an Interest with him It sua iose*«ary to write out a statement of contra, t to which the guarantor* suborllied This wns the first underwriting j These two men happened to lie fre , quemers of I.lord's coffee house In w which «a* * favorite place for the merchants of the town to gather to dlsrusM business or to gossip Others Immediately saw the advan i Inge of the scheme which their col leagues had devised, and on the next j rovage tho risk was parceled out among a larger number of the patron* of the coffee house. I Out of this small beginning has grown the great Kuropean maritime agency, still bearing the name of the I humble coffee house proprietor, and which not only writes risks on vessels, but rntea them and publishes ar | rivals at every port the worlii over. ino matter how small or how remote ly situated.—"Annals of the American , Academy." Where Abraham Fished. Mrs. Victoria de Hansen in "Tho ; Soul of a Turk" relates a legend con | cernlng Abraham which will be now 'to many readers. She learned of it j while at Kdessa, the traditional tJr of the Chnldees. She was shown there j a large oblong tank of water so filled with fishes resting Just below the sur ' face of the water that their tins nnd backs seemed almost wedged together . so as to form "an almost solid layer 1 of silvery life." I"The guardian of the mosque throws ! some meal Into the water, and the fish 1 Jump high to catch It. a great living | pyramid, of which those which Jump \ the highest form the pinnacle. The tradition is that Abraham as a child j fished in the tank; hence the fish were I considered sacred. No single one has j been caught or killed to this day. In I deed, death would overtake the man i who transgressed this law." I A Joke on the King. ; Sir Ernest Cassel was persona grata ; with King Edward VII. As a matter i of fact there was a curious and strik ing resemblance between the back ! view of the late king and that of Sir | Ernest. It was so pronounced that the great financier was known among his j I'rlonds as "Windsor Castle." | There is a good story and a true one ; told in connection with this. It hap j pened at a garden party at Windsor | castle. A well known peer of the realm | was strolling about when, as he thought, he spotted Sir Ernest sitting Inn chair Going toward him on tip | toe, he gave him n resounding smack on the shoulder. ! "Hello, old Windsor Castle!" he cried, | "How are you?" The occupant of the chair, startled, | turned around It was King Edward, I who, unaware of Sir Ernest's uick i name, was for a time exceedingly j vexed at this undue liberty. However, when the circumstances were ex | plained to him he enjoyed the Joke I hugelv.—London M. A. I*. The Bull Snake. The bull snake, a species of pine ! snake, Inhabits the shady pine woods ' along the Atlantic coast from New Jer ! se.v to Florida, but other species are found himosi everywhere except In New England. The bill) snake is quite harmless, but is n powerful constrict j or. Ii lay eics and fei-ds upon birds, rodents mid eggs It swallows au egg , whole, ami after th« 112;; has passed a few lin !io« down the throat where It forms n large swelling-tho serpent lifts Its head, elevates its back and exerts a downward pressure until the shell breaks Owing to a curious con strietlon of its epigloiiis its hiss IS HO : loud and so well sustained as tore semhle the sound of redbot iron being : plunged In watei The mnxlmum length of these snakes is seven and a half feet Their color Is white, with , the exception of the bead and back, ! the former being spotted black nnd the . latter brown Wide World Magazine Trader.-is.-k R.-qistry Popular, j AIMIIII .VJOO intd— irlts are reiristeml I during the course ..r the year ai tin • pai"in office. PROGRESS ON THE RANGE. |Hun All' ni-i music deuJ- « i . i ; cuw|iO>s ■ li.'lnK plKkmwrtphs lo i|..a.-t lh? cuttti* ...I ilie range. 1 i It IK-'- ■"i In: wo cltnr:ne<l 'nm (Ar yv.a. v. i> never harmed "eint ' A'Chiii.: in' i I tho moonlight "Sam I'.J-K" e; 'Old tllnek Joe. ' 1 ei machinery's wheeze and i ..t:;n 1 Heemn to suit these i:iOdorn < ante, And 11»!•> act plum sore and restl. ss w the phonograph won't no- Start that new com raj it lon Or a stampede will be growln— Tut hi a Sour; re. onl or look out fer for ty rows. On the cowboy's field of Rlor}' I.ife's another sort of storv Since Melt)a and I'tirir . look lo » ;r« j tho cows. So throw in i chunk from Pryor When the west has lost Its fire: Set tho stars from op'ry houses ynwl'.a' 1 and rals'n' hob. i The lullabies we sanit 'em Didn't suit the brutes, kosll harvt >n! The tleiuon of Invention's put the cowboy off the Job. —Arthur Chapman in Denver Republican. Spiteful. At a local picture show n p.iluter hung a notice under his highly prized j landscape, "Do not touch with canea :or umbrellas." Some one who was not an admirer of his works added to the notice. "Take an as!" CHICHESTER SPILLS DIAMOND BRAND *°S* eAV c° jf LADIES ! '""-"KIL.t for CHI-CHKR TER'S A DIAMOND UKAND PILLS iu Rfd and/A i SR I ; n m<la "ic bnios, soiled with Blnc<f/> J Ribbon. TAKE NO tiintn. Rurnf JNNR^V DniKKlat and «k Tor <lll .<ll KS.TIH s V DIAMOND HIIAMI PILI.H, for twontyfivj years regarded at Ursl,Safest, Alwajn Reliable'. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS ' trjbd EVERYWHERE I WILL REORGANIZE HIGHWAY DEPT. i I I'llil/AhKMMIIA, No* If) John K. di ctiifHit in nn interview toils* flint In Intend* In umke iin (Hit 11* ii t change* lt> the Hints Mglwiiv departnii tit, Hint llint Ie hlmi favor* n cirn«« Ftste high Wsy ulliiilnr In the plan ol linvi'ftini Htnart. TO IMPROVE HIGHWAYS Mi. Tpiipi outlined what I'n hopes I In arentiifiliidi ilnrltiK his mlinliiiitrn 1 tkiii in the way of improvements "I 'State highway*. 11 plan* incl in It- 11 complete reorganization of the Bt»t> > highway lmri'Htt ami tlie erection of h new department with an fitcntltr head and n deputy commissioner, who shall be an engineer with wide experi ence in th« building <>f road*. "My thought is," said Mr. Tenet, "that we should const met a highway | j —not necessarily a boulevard—leading directly from Pittsburg on the west to j Philadelphia on tlu< past that will hi' j a main artery connecting tho eastern ami western toils of the State ami tin- I county seats along the route with lat- I • prala connecting with the county seats ' , not along tho line of flip main high- { way. 1 also believe that in sections 1 where the travel will lie heavy road- | ways should he constructed of soine I permanent material where the pi incip- . nl cost will he the first cost." CONTINUES STATEMENT 1 Continuing the governor-elect said : ; "I said dmiug my campaign anil I re peat now that I absolutely have no ' personal ambition to serve in office. It j , is my purpose to give to tho State the j b<st that is in me and my hope is that when I go out of oHice I will have met i the reasonable expectation of tho.peo j 1 pie of the State in this respect. 1 Mr. Tenei was asked regarding the | makeup of his cabinet and was told j I that gossip had already tilled several | of the places: Mr. Teller said: "I ain not responsible for any guess eg that may be made, but you can rest j assured that as yet they are but guess- j jes for I have not given the subject j I serious consideration. As to the attor- i uey generalship,however,my appointee | will be a man upon whose judgment I ! will feel I can thoroughly rely; a man | whose loyalty to me will be second I only to his loyalty to tho State. "There is one thing you can say and that is that 1 will deem my adminis- j trat ion most fortunate ami I would consider the people of the State most' fortunate, if they could continue to d»maml the services of Dr. Samuel U I Dixon as tho head of the State depart ment of health. " MAN'S WILL POWER. Bismarck's Comme ♦ on Schopenhauer and His Theory. In nn entertaining account of a din- j ner party at Prince Bismarck's Berlin i residence which is given In the recol lections of the Llvonlan journalist Eck hardt the following, which was a part of the table talk, shows the host in a 1 new light: The conversation had turn- i ed on Bismarck's early days at Frank fort, and Eckharilt asked whether at | tho table d'hote of the Hotel d'Angle ' terre his host had ever met Sehopen- i hauer. "No," said Bismarck; "he laid no use for tne nor I for htm. More over. I have never bad time or desire to occupy myself with philosophy. ' While 1 was a student Schopenhauer was still unknown I know al*o!,.te. ly nothing about his system." Another guest, an admirer of Scho- j penhauer. then Joined enthusiastically j t'l the conversatlon and explained that i ihe philosopher's great merit consisted in the discovery of the fnct that will lower was the indestructible essence ' nf the mind of inan and that in tell I geuee was only of secondary impor tanee. "That may very well be true." >;ald Prince Bismarck, "at least as far as I am concerned, for I have often noticed that my will had already come to a decision while my mind bad not yet finished thinking about the same subject." Smoking That Maddens. Marihuana Is a weed used by people of the lower class and sometimes by I •oldlers, but those who make larger, use of it are prisoners sentenced to long terms. The use of the weed and ; Its sale, especially iu barracks and j prisons, are very severely punished; : yet it has many adepts, and Indian women cultivate It because they sell It I at rather high prices. The dry leaves ! of marihuana alone or mixed with to- | bai co make the smoker wilder than a I wild Insist. It is said that immediately after the tirst three or four drafts of smoke smokers begm to feel a slight headache; then they see everything moving, si ltd dually they lose all coo trol i>f their mental faculties Every, thing, i tie sinokers say, takes the shape of a monster, and men look like devils They begin to ligh:, and, of rot lire, everytlilic; smashed is a tnon» liter "killed." But there are imaginary 1 beings whom the wild man cannot kill, , and these inspire fear iintU the man is i panic stricken and runs. Mexican ' Herald What Did He Mean? Mrs. II.—I see there's a man in i : France who has murdered three of hisi wires in succession. I'd like to see , 'he man who would murder me. Mr H. —So would I, my dear impuicvir and ivornan. | Napoleon 1.. who was a great ad | niirer of female talent when Its ownerj | did not, like Mine, de Slael. direct ii j I against himself, used to say. "There | ! are women who have only one fault | viz. that they are not men " Man and Woman. When a man gets into trouble the 1 ! first thing he thinks nf is. **Uow shall j I get out of this fix /' When a woman j | gets into trouble her tirst thought is, j "How shall I best bear ibis misery?" i j —Winifred Black. Cheeky. "Does Winks take au.v magaslaes?" I "All he enn get. I dou't dare to leave | j one lying around."—Birmingham Age j ! Herald. 1 THE OEAKESt GIFI. A Peltiell. tneotent In L.». *1 Mel, A fount; A incites a milium »m »m» 'Unit one tin} in nn itHlliiii Mill«ii j poa< h. the naif other nn upiim of nn io i 111 1.1 r 111 |>> 111 tie i ii*.: nil I'Hlerll gentle mnn Observing I In* (111 crest nf 111. ynuiiß woman tn the cotiiilrv I!>i n i whli h the* mere pi *«hiu mid k«VIII | also thiii It was Df* to Net llie in i. experienced trmelpr (Minted • .iti nil ! Je< ts it ml pl;ne» of untp From wefterjr the i unvernstl' ll ilrtfi ed to hooka mid authors. iititll « hum thing suggested to the young Aim can one of i;iir.iiln-tli Barrett Itrnwii Ing's sonnets. « lili li she i|ii'ilisl Hlie was astonished and abashed lie cause the gentleimiti iimile ihi repu but tllirlng the rest of the ride sn limk Ing Intently out of ihe window, hat Ing apparently forgot tea the very es ' Istence of his traveling companion As they nenred the station w here the young lady was to leave the ear slie said timldl.i: "1 fear, sir, that I hare offended yon 1 Perhnps yon do not like Mrs. Brown Ing's poetry" The man slowly turned epon her tear dimmed pyps. and in a voice full of emotion lip said: "Madam, that sonnet Is the sweetpst. us Its singer was the dearest, gift «!<ml , ever gave to me." Her 'raveling companion was Roh prt Browning. —Youth's Companion Anecdote of Bach. The Puke of Saxe- Wpimnr once in viled John Sebastian Bach, ihe Nestor of (ierman music, to attend a dinner at the palaee Before Ihe guests sat down to the feast Bach was asked to give an Improvisation. The composer seatisi himself at the harpsichord and Straightway forgot all about dinner nnd everything else. He played so long that at last the duke touched Ills shoul der and said. "We are very much obliged, master, but we must not let the soup get cold." Bach sprang to his feet and followed the duke to the dining room without ottering a word. But be was scarcely seated when he sprang up. rushed back to the Instrument like one dempntcd,; struck a few chords nnd returned to the dining room, evidently feeling : much better. "I beg your pardon, your j highness," be said, "but you Interrupt- j ed me in a series of chords and arpeg gios on the dominant seventh, and I could not feel at ease until they were resolved Into the tonic. It Is as If you bad snatched a glass of water from the lips of a man dying of thirst Now , I have drunk the glass out and am content." CARIBOU BLOCK TRAVEL. Herd of One Hundred Thousand Hold Lonely Trail in Alaska. A herd of caribou probably number- ; ing 100,000 formed an amazing sight . and stopped caravans oil the lonely > trail between Fairbanks and Circle j City, Alaska, early iu September. The scene Is described as the most impressive he ever witnessed by Cup- j tain E. T. Barnette, a Fairbanks ' banker. Captain Barnette believes the j drove was of greater proportions than any other ever viewed by a white j man. His pack train waited on the hillside J Eor four hours while one wing of the , herd passed. Tlie flock was nearly s. mile wide, and It stretched out for 1 tulles in length, closely packed. Hard to Understand. Supposing sotne one should spring this on you rapidly and ask you what it meant: "Maie Beat-tonts-deer-reat-toats laiu-slenlivy-lit-tie-kld slea-tlvy-too." You wouhl never think it was plain English, but it is. It Is simply: "Marcs eat oats: doers eat oats; lambs "11 e.it Ivy; little kids 11 eat ivy too." You should say this over many limes to yourself until you can roll it o:Y very rjulckly. run the words together, and then when you try it on your I friends they will have to confess that they can't understand it. They will feel quite foolish when you show them that It is common Euglish and that it sounds odd only because the words are spoken fast and run iu together It is ; this running of the words In together ' which makes it hard for a foreigner to understand our language or us theirs No Mystery About It. Tho other night after Harker was safe In bod there came a mysterious tapping below his window. Harker slipped out of his covers and cautious- I ly raised the sash. "What's wanted?" he demanded, his teeth chattering. "I Just wanted to tell you." came a muffled voice, "that there's a hand moving around Just inside your cellar ! window." With visions of burglars Harker i picked up Ills revolver and slipped through the halls in his pajamas. Cautiously lie searched the cellar with a lighted candle, but it was empty. Outside on ihe sidewalk stood the stranger. "I don't see any burglars down here." called Harker nervously "Who said anything about burglars?" laughed the stranger. "Why. didn't you call me out of bed to tell me l hat there was a hand mov ing around near the cellar window?" "Sure, it's tho dial on the gas meter. It works while you sleep."—Philadel phia Times. Transvaal Tobacco Producer. Over 7,000.000 pounds of tobacco were produced In the Transvaal In 1008. Agamtt His Principles. "What was that man making such a fuss about?" asked the restaurant pro- j prietor. "He found a couple of hairs In the food, sir," replied the waiter. "Oh. is that all?" "You see, sir, he's a vegetarian, and you can't get him to eat anything but vegetables."—Yonkers Statesman. Neatly Parried. A mother of four daughters, one of ' whom had recently been married, cor- j nered nn eligible young mau in the | drawing room. "And which of my girls do you most admire, might 1 ask?" "The married one," was the prompt reply.—Exchange. MODEST VI6TOR HUQn. * | Th« O'tit MnUf TMugM No M#n«r T«o Or«ni F»f Him»»lf II *l< I ln'<.|ililli- Uiitiller who *Hkl •or I lft 111 ft it to tin* e!Ti*< I •hnl If li» ill ii hi ihnt tun* lltt«* of llic i-rent mux tef, \ I li?r littiftt. kii< Im(I lif would !»»•» nekttn* IHrt II to hltmrlf If h# Ki-rr nl>>iii> nl tln* luillom of n dnrh well. fin tin it her mi noltin (Jmitler •poke of Victor linuo n« "n new lliim fri"tli frutn Kltml, ilmf.i'il lo Mlvm tin* liilii* M off lv«* hitV " lif !tlr*lly * Vlifiif lllli.ii w:i« n llinn who It now ! h'nv lo fit<l ii h(h"II iiimiji llinw nlMHii Mm for exni ■ IttoU nl the follow Inn pli lurt' ilrm. ii In llie "Rouvi'iilr ittit TuraeiilefT "One t venlh r flttgo'* admirer* m rcmlih d In hi i ilnotlng room, tvere roni|n'tlnn v lib nno another In Hip pttliu'.v or his genius, nml tin* Idi'ii wn* thrown nut, tlml the mreet In which he lit - I ought to bear hit n inn'. Kome mil' Miggested tlml tin- strei t wu 100 small lo he worthy of no cri-at ii poet, and llic honor «>f bearing hi* name oiiL'ht to l>i> :ilirtu-<I to Homo tnoro Im portant thoroughfare. Then they pro ceeded lo entini Tiite tin- most popular quarters of Pari*. In an nnoondtng Rcale, until one man exclaimed with enthuslnstn that It would be an honor I for the city of Purl* Itself to lie re- | rained after the man of genius. Hugo, i leaning ognlust Ihe innutelp'ufc, llsti n-1 ed complacently to these tin Merer* out- j bidding etieb "thpr. Then, with an air of onp engaged in thvp thought, he turned to a .vottng nian and said to him In hilt Brand slyle. 'Kven lint will eoine. tn.v friends- ev :i that will come.' "—Honkman. ANOTHER LITTLh PORRIT I\ZZ English Woman'# Brother Supposed to Havt Been Tiny Tim. The original of Dickens' I.lttie Pur rlt has just died at Soutltsea in thy lieritou uf Mrs. tieorglna Margaret liaytnan. She was nearly eighty-one. Iler father. Mr. Bridges, was a Lon don solicitor and was for many years an intimate friend of Dickens. The novelist was a frequent visitor at the solicitor's house and took a keen In terest in all the members of the fain ily. Sirs, llayman as a girl was pretty, and all the lads in the district made eyes at her One day she lost one of a pair of red shoes that she used to wear, an incident which Dickens made use of In his works. Mrs. Iluynian's brother, who died while still a lad, is said to have in spired another of Dickens' characters. Tiny Tim in "A Christmas Carol." The boy met with an accident while at play, being impaled on an area rnli ing, but he v.as a cheery little fellow in spite of t'lo injury that made him a cripple. Dickons is also said to ha v e characterized the boy as Paul Doui bey, the invalid son of old Dombe.v. WOODEN SCHOONER IS GIANT Wyoming, Recently Sent Out, Beits A 1! Records. There is a general idea that the wooden sailing ship is a thing of the past, but there recently loaded at Bal timore for Us maiden voyage a wooden vessel that far outranks any that ever put to sea. This is a six masted schooner, called the Wyoming, anil is u splendid ship in every particular, with a gross register of 3,730 tons, or twenty-two tons more than the well known steel hull six masted schooner William 112, Doug!:"* of Boston. The Wyoming is 320 feet 2 ine" - long, Hi) feel 1 ill' :i beam and i'.n -1 inches depth of hold. It has t!ir • ■ decks, with tii ' discharging hM- h"- and tool; as its tirst cargo 5,822 lons e' soft coal l'or Boston. The frame of the huge schoon i i' securely strapped with iron, and in keelson is protected with big bands of sheet Iron. Telephones, steam pump.-, steam hoists, etc., make the vessel up to date lti every particular. The vis sel cost SIPO.OOO to build. Not Made Up. Pushing her way through the crowd on the ferryboat to the decrepit rig. the middle aged woman sired up the emaciated animal from every point of View, and then, turning to the owner, who had clambered out of the wagon and propped himself against the en Sine loom, said. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself for driving a poor horse like that; It should be at home and In the stable." "What is the mat ter with her. lady?" was the easy re sponse of the owner, who didn't seem a whole lot perturbed. "What Is the matter with her?" demanded the S. P. C. A lady with increasing warmth of tone. "Can't you see how skinny she 1s? She looks starred." "The hoss is all right, lady," calmly rejoined the expressman, as a sweet sralle floated through his scant crop of whiskers. "You sec. she got up so late this morn ln' that she didn't hev tiuie to put on her rats, pads an' extenders, or she would hev been as purty an' plump as ther next our. "—Argonaut. iiP^ill^ : !?1 ■Wk- ; W// Lssi.,• . c utimi | i I U G'wH-zn $ Rj j J Good oil ii a mi'iKljr fasfar .'n ST. / inert*..ulnt 'pm J dtcrmn-int: £ Sj trouble*. Wav« ily Special it idefai f' y / for either air-co/»J- !or v/atfr*coo!fJ y V / cart. AhtoluloJy from carbou— Jj |f/ ««nd ih ; n—J.i cptt.'y—wiJl woi j IJ <o»H.«HI. |J Your r\*+}i-T hrs .J—lf i us. A tout will coufinr.o you. r* j 12 fv \'j WAV£?.!.r C!L WORKS lj independent t?c/tncrr j'i [| i'itttburg, Poiuisylvcn.'A a Maker• of "Waterly" Ca*ul»/><3 : •rHE WHITE WASH. It* Piihk'i »n tin Hudson Bar Cam- P»"it's Hut t.plalnad. It Im tir ana N nil* of 'He lludoon fl.ir »nm|Hin» Hihl no woman lie ai lowed puspsgp on Mm b»nt* One d»f aotrr yenr« ago in) ii at eat: r of the roinpany miire«l one of Hip tiottberti ffiiMt porta h «trlti|t of « liite i rti n a wiia aeen «lreti h"d ii l i ■-« t d«« The watcher* were ci, -d I»f lo Ibeta Hie wiiah Hue »iir ' lti tin!? tin pri'rtctM eof a no man iiUanil Hi boat Comnielil wn- Ii ■ i u ile ot llie aenildill Unit w oil 111 I'll ile ' 'I 111" alinkeiip lliul wtmlil I . » V. otn llu< Ihiiil ill" k> I Hip lite <•" < bid dl->ap|»-iirid • iHI miii. i i | o lit" at'a tide I. I.ater olie of Hip liilid«.e ,i nuld to the i »| inlii "Übv. liow d I It h: r>pen Mini you carild ii v 'iin.iii |uis«iii(.r ills irlpT' "'there was li Mir ii v < i . n lilting tile Whole vo; ate." w; « Ihe i idlv'iaut answer "\Vhat do toil menu?" "If there «iis no wninnn abonrd where tlid II Unit while v. - i . .ran from?" wa« the triumphant reply The enpinbi hMikid pt . /li .1 l'or a moment. >ii<f then lie l. u led "nil," lie >nld. "and didn't we have Lord Srratti ana. tiie gotfiuir l lteself, along with us on this trip'- And i very day doesn't he Insist on having Ills clean white shirt, no tnnrcr how far north we are? That's the white wash you saw strung along deck. And. what's more, doesn't his lordship In sist niwiii having his Bondou paper laid beside his plate every morning, no matter if It is a year old?"—Pearson's. THE NEW WAY. [Mrs. Marv Schley Brown at her w< i ding was attended by throo JapunP: - apuulclK of royal potllKrt-e inateiol <•'. brldeimaltU.—N«*.vs Item.l So more the bridal march, each lovely maiden In fluecy crape arrayed, with Mosaoma laden. No more the frou-frou of their dainty dreases Along the aiylr to where the pnrsor blrw.se" In place of these at wedding ceremony - Provided things are on a basis tony— Behold a string uf purps of linen.;* blooded, Ulad raKs adorning them and collaif. studded; Behold a bride, who leads them to r.j altar To noose a groom-who well deserves a halter. But does a marriage license answer duly? Would not a canine license tit more ti ui; • Hall of Fame. Names recently chosen for the Hall of Fame, with votes for each: Votes. Harriet Beechcr Stowe 74 Oliver Wendell Holmes .69 Edgar Allan Poe ..69 Roger Williams ..64 James Fenimore Cooper 62 Phillips Brooks ..60 William Cullen Bryant 59 Frances E. Willard 56 Andrew Jackson 53 George Bancroft 53 John Lothrop Motley 51 Names previously elected: George Washington. Horace Mann. Abraham Lincoln. Henry Ward Beech- Daniel Webster. er. Benjamin FrankUa. James Kent. Ulyasfs S. Grant. Joseph Story. John Marshall. John Adams. Thomas Jefferson. William E. Chan- Ralph Waldo Etner- r.ing. son. Gilbert Stuart Ilenry W. Longfel- Asa Gray. low. John Adam*. Robert Fulton. Jam«.« Ru«k<Ml Low- Washington Irving ell. Jonathan E'lv ir.ls William T. Sherman. Ban :P. B. Morve James Maditoa* David O. John Whittiw. Henry Clay. Alexander )Jamil- Nathaniel Haw ton. thorne. Louis A^asslz. Geoi*ge PeaNxiy John Paul Jones. Robert K Lee Mary Lyon. Peter Cooper L'mina Willard. Ell Whitney. Maria Mitchell. John J Audubon. Art Inside Outing. Wins—The next outiiis « "in" can Jake Is an ocean trip. Wags—Ves, an outing for ibe Inner man an well.— Philadelphia Itecoril. There is no well doing, no nodllWa i doing, that Is not patient doing.—Ttm : otb.v Tltcomb. •The e:i«iest thing I know of." say* the philosopher of folly, "Into Itegin ; to save up some money nesf rooii'li " i —Cleveland I<eader. A Reliable Remedy FOR CATARRH Elf's Cream Baim y "™ is quickly abr.orbeil. Sfr&M Gives Relief at Once. It cleanses, s(M»thef, hcnLt anil proteet the tliseiisetl mem. brime re-iultiivc froin Oaturrh ami drives awny uCol-.l in tin- Head quickly. Restores tho 81 uses of Taste anil Smell. Full sizo 50 ets. »t I):n;_'gi-i s or by mail. Liquid Creaiu B ilni fur use in atomizers 75 ets. Ely Unit hers, ftli Warren Street, New York. 60 YEARS EX P E R I E NC E Designs F rTm Copyrights &c. Anyone sending a PKetch and description may qnlckly oacertam our «>|tinion free whether ao invention is pmbaMy rf*t»»nt*hlo. rumniuntca lltinsntrlctlyconfidential. HANDBOOK on Patenta ■ent free. Oldest a«encjr tor Bocurmg patents. Patent* taken through Munu a Co. receive sp ecial notice % without chance, in the Scientific American. A handsomely Illustrated weekly. 1 .arcest cir culation of any scientific Journal. Terms, $3 a year : four months, fl. Sold by all new^dMlcrs. York Bran,-h Olßrn. «S F ft- Wajhltikte" »< I . —ea—e—e«ii R-I-P-A-N-S Tabule Doctors find A'good prescriptioti For Mankind. The 5-eent packet is enough for tisua oocasaions. The fatuilyibottle (ftO oents oonUtins a snpplylfor a year All drug lata.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers