lUSSELL SHERMAN, J— i Was an Excellent Scholar, but Not Especially Manly. By OLIVE EDNA MAY. jpyrlght, 1910, by American Press Asso ciation.] .tussoll Sherman led his class nt the rmal school. He was a hardwork j student, spending all his surplus ne in odd Jobs by which he could y his way while obtaining an edu tion. Ho roomed alone, having no :imate associates and taking no part the athletic games of his fellow stu nts. "I like Sherman," said Tom ake, one of the students, "but he's most too delicately organized, for a y and has all the sensitlveneA of a rl. I caught him crying one day len some one said something to him hurt his feelings. Think of a fel sv fifteen years old crying!" sne day Blake while walking across e campus saw Sherman shrinking ray from Jim Potter, a bigger boy. THIS TIME IT WAS A CAKE, ho was following him up with Inched fists. Tom hurried on and ■ard Potter hiss between his teeth: "Sissy!" "What's the matter between you o?" asked Blake. "None of your business," said Pot •What is It, Russell?" 'He sits next me In mathematics :d wanted me to 'pony' him this jrning at recitation. I couldn't. The acher was looking straight at us." 'You lie!" said Potter. "Russell, instead of answering the ult with a blow, shrank back. His ce was scarlet, and his eyes were et. "I wouldn't stand that if I were iu, Russell," said Blake. "It's better get thrashed than to take the lie." 'I don't want to fight any one," re ied Russell in a trembling voice. "X dy want to be let alone." "Well, take that for a parting gift," id Potter, and he slapped Sherman's ee. Blake, who had been curbing his in gnatlon, could no longer stand this illylng of the strong over the weak, aking a rush for Potter, he tried strike him, but I'otter was too quick r him and. avoiding the blow, plnnt its mate on his cheek. A number boys just out from recitation saw e fracas and. running forward, sur unded the combatants. "A ring, si ring!" Blake and I'otter stripped to the aist. 'What's it about?" asked one of the •ys. "He's fighting for Sissy Sherman," id Potter. The eyes of nil were turned toward lerman, who was vainly endeavoring repress tears. He started togo .'ay; then, as if ashamed to leave a ?ht that was on his account, he turn back and stood on the outer edge the circle. The combatants were between six en and seventeen years old. Potter s heavier than Blake, who was :her tall and slender. Blake had the vantage of a good cause, while Pot r soon learned that lie was without e sympathy of the spectators. Rus •J_ Sherman, though nut physically rong or manly, was respected as the •ad of his class, and the head of the ass is class property to be treated id respected as such. Therefore ake, who was defending Sherman, as considered to lie lighting for the inor of the class. Besides this, many ' the boys had been bullied by Potter, d they _ would be glad to see him wned. Half a dozen rounds had been fought ben Blake, Just as Potter was aiming well directed blow at him, slipped d fell. Potter fell with him and, •tting ills knee on him, began to haul er him with liis fist, when Sherman shed at hiiu, seized him by the hair id pulled him over. Some of the lar r boys interfered, and the combat its got up. Then, after a brief rest, ley began another round. Stories of schoolboy fights usually ve a victory for one or the other of ie fighters, but in most cases they mtlnue till both are tired out. Such as the case in the battle between lake and Potter. About the time the lectators were thinking of stopping e fight a teacher was seen In the stance coming toward the scene of e struggle, nnd in another minute t a boy was to be seen on the mpus. ■Yfter this Russell Sherman kept to mself more than ever, if that could He had the respect of his fellow idents in everything except pluck. i was not considered manly—that is, far as fighting his way was eon rned—but with the decline of the I military spirit that for centuries ive first place to the strongest and •nvest respect for brute strength has dwindled. ""Sherman had brains, and the pre-eminence of brains orer mus cle Is fully recognised In the twentieth century. But ho possessed a certain kind of pluck that no other boy in the school displayed. He was the only bey there who was earning his own edu cation. The day after the fight Tom Blake saw Russell Sherman coming across the campus toward him. but Sherman when he reached a fork In the cement walk turned aside, going in another direction. Blake saw plainly that the boy he had fought for shrank from meeting hi in. At first he didn't like this action on the part of his protege, lie thought that Sherman should have come up to him frankly and thanked him for standing by him so far as to flglit for him. But Blake was n think ing sort of a boy, and it occurred to him that if the tables were turned, if some boy bigger and stronger than he had fought for him, how would he feel toward that other boy? lie could not quite put himself in such a posi tion, for he had good strength for his age nnd was not fenrful. Neverthe less he could excuse Sherman on the ground that he had needed protection from :i bigger boy, had secured it and would naturally feel demeaned by ac cepting It. Blake went onto his room nnd, glanc ing at ills study table, saw something on It, tin! nnd round, wrapped in white paper. Taking off the cover, he cam;> to some oil paper, which contained something soft. Removing this wrap per, he uncovered a pie. "By Jove!" he exclaimed. "I won der how that came here." lie ate half the pie. then bethought himself who had left it there. Nu merous inquiries failed to elicit the donor. He racked his brains to dis cover what friend he had that would thus favor him. but could not think of any one. One person occurred to him as the possible giver—that was lUissell Sherman. But the pie had been tied up with a very narrow blue silk ribbon Instead of a string, the ends being tied In a bow. Blake knew that no boy would ever tie up any thing with a bow. No; some of his aunts, sisters or cousins must have sent it to him. He thought that when he met Sher man again he would say something to make him feel easier about his posi tion. ne found an opportunity one day when coming out of recitation. "Hello, Russell!" he said. "nello, Blake!" was the reply. "Going to win the valedictory?" "I don't know." "I hope you will." "Why?" "Oh, I think you're a pretty good sort of a fellow!" "I don't believe you respect me much." "Yes, I do. Why do you think I don't?" "Oh, I don't tight ray own battles!" "You would with boys of your size." "X haven't had a chance before this to thank you for that fight you had with Totter. It was mighty good of you." Blake felt Russell's hand feeling for his and saw a pair of grateful eyes turned upon lilrn. Thinking the affair was getting mawkish, he made pre tense of wishing to catch up with an other boy and ran away. When he went to his room to prepare for sup per he saw another gift on his table. This time It was a cake. Again Blake questioned the ni:i!ds and others in the house, but no one could, or, rather, would, tell him who had left the gift. Meanwhile Russell Sherman was dis tinguishing himself in his classes, con tinually gaining honors. Graduation day came, and the boys made their speeches. I.ast came Sher man with the valedictory. He had fulfilled the expectations of his teach ers. his standing being higher than had ever been reached in the school before. As soon as he started to speak persons in the audience began to whisper to each other: "How young he is! His voice hasn't even changed." The boy acquitted himself well and received more enthusiastic congratulations than are usual on such occasions. The world admires strength, but loves weakness. The graduating class separated, some togo the uext autumn to college, others into business. During the sum mer Tom Blake went to a farmhouse where boarders were taken. On ascend ing the steps he saw a girl in a white dress dart into the house. He thought nothing of this, however, till supper time,_ wheq. he Uiu. sauio. aixL sit ting at an opposite table and trying to hide her face from him. After supper he met her in the hall. He stopped her and asked: "I beg pardon. Aren't you a sister nf Russell Sherman?" "I am Russell Sherman." And then It nil came out that Edith Itnssell Sherman, having been denied admission to tin' normal school, had donned boy's apparel and entered as a boy. As soon as she had been grad uated she returned to the dress of her own sex. Tom Blake and Edith Sherman are now studying at a co-ed college. It loi.ks as if they would, study in prox imity for tUe rest of their lives. AMERICAN MOTHER DEFENDED "On the Job" and Not Favoring So ciety, Says Doctor. The recent convention at St. Louis of the American Medical association produced a new champion of Ameri can motherhood In Dr. Charles G. Kerley of New York, who denied that the modern woman is neglecting her mother's functions for the exigencies of her social nnd civic life, saying: "I deny that the high strung, flue grained young American mother—the 'modern neurasthenic woman,' as half baked literary critics have dubbed her —ls other than the finest specimen of mother in the world. I deny that we doctors or any one else have the right to demand that simply because she happens to bear children such a splen' did creature should be treated as an animal. The educated young Ameri can mother is not neglecting her -nurs ing function or any other duty. She is, in the popular vernacular, 'on her job all right." " Genius begins great works. Labor alone finishes theui —Joubert. ' A GUM. It Turned the Scale In a Matter of Love. By THOMAS R. DEANE. [Copyright, 1910, by American I'ress Asso ciation.] I courted Jeannette abroad. There is no better field for lovemaklng than traveling about, with nothing to do but enjoy oueself. or, rather, oneselves, for as "It takes two to make a bargain," so It takes two to make love. Jeannette and X met at Sorrento, where wo sat In a pavilion In the midst of an orange grove looking on the bay of Naples spread out several hundred feet below us. Spoony young men are always talking to spoony young women about fickleness, and I found a convenieut illustration In the ever changing hues of the Mediterranean. Besides, there is something In the Italian climate to quicken love. It is soft and balmy, yet the skies are bright and blue. Then in Rome we dawdled through the Forum and sat on the stone seats in the Coliseum just as youths and maidens did some eighteen centuries before, except that the Roman couples of those days were there to see gladi ators kill one another or wild beasts feed on lean Christians. But we were under the blue sky of Italy, and, as I have said, the Italian climate quickens love. Prom Rome we drlfled Into Florence and stood at evening looking over the stone coping of the l'onte Vecchlo at the placid Arno flowing beneath us while the last rays of the setting sun gilded the neighboring hills. And—as X think I have remarked before—the Italian climate is conducive to love. But I diiiul s*ay that about the Eng lish climate. The English climate is conducive to—let ni§ see—the Eng lish climate Is conducive to colds, sore throat, rheumatism, the blues. I won der that the English people ever marry for love, and I fancy there is less mar rying there on that acSduns than in any land on the face of the eartt. It may seem that this is not only dis agreeable. but a digression. It may be the former, but it Is not the latter. At any rate, It is a part of my story, for MY OAZE WAS FASTENED OS HIS GLASS EYE. Jeannette and I parted In Florence, having plighted our troth on the ele vated Piazza Michelangelo overlook ing the city. We were «itting be neath one of half a dozen statues of David, each being the original statue, and came together again in England. What a change, not only in the cli mate, but In us—l mean in Jeanette! In Italy she had been responsive to my slightest whisper. Indeed, the slighter the whisper the better It ac corded with our mellifluent surround ings. In England I. being hoarse, was obliged to speak to her with the voice of a megaphone, and she. being deaf ened by a cold, could scarcely hear me. Instead of leaning her head against my arm and looking up at nie with a happy smile, as she had done In the Italian moonlight, speaking of po ets and painters, she sat regarding me with watery eyes, saying that she wished It would stop raining. This story goes to prove that what writers on the development of civiliza tion say about the effect of climate on peoples is true. In Italy Jeannette and I had lovd: in England the marriage question became one of practical ad vantage. I found that I was not as much in love as 1 had thought I was until Jeannette Indicated that she was meditating giving me the grand bounce. This brought me to my senses. Young Lord Criekeuback, who never appeared without a very large flower in his buttonhole, a very small silk hat on his head and a monocle on his right eye, was the man who taught me that, despite my present watery surround ings, I did not wish to surrender Jean nelte. Why had 1 not continued tc keep her In Italy, or why did 1 not insist on the knot being tied before coming to this land, where there is no sentiment, only Interest? Tills Lord Crickenback had nothing whatever to recommend him except that he had a title. Even with his title on the sunny shores of the Mediterranean I could nave snapped my fingers at him. Jeannette did not break with me. I think she would hare done so had not the sun occasionally broken through the clouds to remind her of those hap py days she had passed with me at Sorrento, at Florence nnd at Rome. On such dnys I noticed a sudden dem onstration of a dormant love for me that had not entirely died within her. I wished on such sunny days that there were some places where one could go similar to the Piazza Michelangelo at Florence or the Corso In Rome. But there are no such places in Ixmdon. The most enjoyable Is Hyde park, but the sijn doesn't shine long enough to dry the benches. And a wet bench is no place for spooning. One bright day I took her to the Tower, nnd we sat to gether in the courtyard of the old pile. I"was about to whisper something ten der In her ear when she shuddered. "What Is it?" I asked concernedly. "That plate in the ground. It says that on this S|>ot Lady Jane Grey, Catharine Howard nnd others were executed." We arose nnd walked away. Crlckenback continued tohangnbout Jeannette, and I saw that with her It was a case of interest versus love. I wished that I might find some method of turning the scale In my favor. I have usually been considered to have about me something of that resource for which we Americans are distin guished, but who ever heard of a man in love—really in love, I mean—being able to think dispassionately about anything concerning the winning or the losing of the girl he loves. 1 met Wackford in London. He had Just come over. Wackford and I have been bosom friends since we were lit tle kids. A man in love needs some one to talk to, and I talked to Wack ford. I told him the whole story, ne listened to me attentively, sympathet ically. "What you want," he said when I had finished, "is some device by which you can save the young lady from her self—and for yourself, understand?" "That's It exactly." "Very well. You show me this Crookedback, or whatever his name is, nnd I'll see what I can do for you." The very next afternoon I drove with Wackford In Ilotten row, nnd we saw Crlckenback. You can meet anybody that belongs to the upper classes in Ilotten row. "Why, the fellow wears a glass eye!" said Wackford. "How do you know?" "Can't 1 tell the difference between a glass and a renl eye? Of course I can. There—see the sun shining on It! Do you suppose he has told her about It?" "Don't know. I never heard her speak of it." The next time I was with Jeannette I asked her, "Did Lord Crlckenback ever speak of any misfortune, any mu tilation?" "No. Why do you ask?" "Oh, nothing; at least nothing that It's my business to tell yon." "I inaUt upon knowing." J demurred for awhile, then told her what Wackford had said about his lordship's glass eye. "I don't believe It," she said. ' "You'd better ask him," I replied. hjni ? Do you suppose I would do that Every time I saw Crlckenback after that my gaze was fastened willy nllly on his glass eye. I wondered If It had the same effect on Jeannette. I asked Wackford when he was going to give me the dpvlce he had referred to, and he replied: "Don't know. Did you tell her about his glass eye?" I admitted that I had, and Wackford turned the subject. Whatever was the cause, Lord Crlck enback from this time seemed to be losing ground with Jeannette. As he lost I gained. Then I perked up and played Indifferent. This was followed by a coldness between Jeannette and me In which fib: seemed saddened, and eventually came a reconciliation. I determined to strike while the Iron was hot and made It a condition of my forgiveness for her defection from me to Crlckenback that we should be mar ried at once. We were married In London, Wack ford being my best man. I insisted on a wedding trip to Italy, but since it was not now the season for visiting the far south we contented ourselves with Lake Como. While out In a boat one evening, pulled by an Italian oars man who could not understand Eng lish, I asked my wife to make a clean breast a? Tier oT Ihe c6mlng of I.ord Crlckenback between us. "I was not In love with him," she said, "but a title to a woman Is very tempting. I thought how nice It would be to be called Lady Crlckenback and to bo introduced to the renl English nobility." "And why didn't you do It?" I asked. "Because I loved you, of course." "How did you happen to come to a decision that you would rather have be anil love than n title nnd no love?" "You Insist in knowing?" "Yes, I do." "Well, it was the glass eye." "You don't mean It!" "Yes. For my life whenever I saw him nfrer you told me he had a glass eye I couldn't keep from looking at it whenever he was with ine. At last it grew so repulsive that I had to send him away." When he returned to London Wack ford called on us. "By the bye, Wack," I said, "by giv ing me the fact of Crlckenback's wear ing a glass eye you fixed tc? up with Jeannette." "He has two now." "What do you mean by that? Is he stone blind?" "No; he has left off his monocle and nas taken on a pair." I looked at Jeannette, nnd Jeannette looked at tne; then we smiled. "You wanted me to suggest some thing," said Wackford, "to break the Crlckenback spell, and I gave you the glass eye, which is synonymous with eyeglass. You owe me one." The Prettiest Feet A Swiss professor named Redorta states that not one woman in a score has a perfect foot owing to the wear ing of high heeled boots aud pointed toe shoes. Russian. German, Ameri can, Austrian and Dutch women, he says, have broad feet, while those of Englishwomen are too narrow to fulfill classical nnd healthy conditions. The women of the Latin races, excluding Frenchwomen, have the best formed and therefore the prettiest feet, the professor say* Classified. The suggestion has been made that goats' meat prices should be taken away from the provisions list and quot ed in the butter market.—New York Tribune. The heart of man Is never as hard as his head.—Lamartlno. He Wii. "Owen Flannaganl Are you Owen Flannagan?" said the clerk of ths court. "Yes, begorra," replied the prisoner, with a merry twinkle in his eye. "I'm owin' everybody!"— London Mall. THE TEMPLE BELL A Mysterious Disappearance and the Explanation. By CLARISSA MACKIE. {Copyright, IJIO. by American Press Asso ciation.] Hedges and I toiled up the dry bed of Furnace creek and left Death valley. "nark!" said Hedges In a strange voice. Across the hidden jagged ranges came a sweet musical ?Tho. It was repeated again mid yet again to my astounded ears. "It's a bell." I almost at him, "a bell here —a cl '|j i bell in Death valley!" With a choking cry Hedges melted from my side. I heard the stamping of his mule and then the sharp clatter of small hoofs among the stones. "Come on!" he shouted back at me. "Once in India 1 heard It and"— Ills voice died away in the darkness, and when the sound of hoofs ceased alto gether I was left alone with the inter mittent sound of the bell. I stood listening, listening, until at last my feet moved toward that spot in the gloom where my burro was picketed. 1 felt for and found the re maining bag of ore which Hedges had left to my share, and I flung It across the back of the beast with eager hands. A great clearness was In my mind, and in my heart was a yearning pity for the poor—the poor of the world, at whose feet I longed to pour my sack of gold—and I hastened forward eager to give all that I had to charity. The bell rang softly as I approach ed A and _evgry "chime" fell straight on my pitying heart. A faint red glow was reflected on the rocks ahead, and around the bend of a huge bowlder I came upon the temple In the wilder ness. The red light came from the sanc tuary lamp hanging within the tiny building. It tinged the gray rocks with a strange, unearthly coloring and gave to the white walls of the temple a delicate roslness. My knife ripped a hole In the can vas sack, and thenj staggering because HIS OBAV ITEAD BEST AIlOTl! SOME FRAO MENTS OF OBKBNISH IdBTAL. of Its great weight, I lifted the gold and poured the precious lumps into the alms basin. As the last lump of ore clanked Into the basin the clearness in my head seemed to snap as if some one had struck me a sharp blow. I felt my self sinking, sinking to marble floor. It seemed years bWore 1 felt Its cooling touch on my cheek, and then all was dark. When I nwoke stars were shining out of a black sky, aud I heard a hoarse whinny from the burro near by. I was lying on my back, and my temples throbbed dully. The white temple hud disappeared. My eager search among the rocks was unavailing. Thus I found myself a beggar at the gate of Death valley. 1 knew that Furnace Creek ranch was somewhere it must be near, aud without f<> «1 and'with only a small eantren if • afi-r 1 set forth on a joun.e,. : I kuoiN must end in (lentil. The ! • ■ • ' : Ilwiges. lie was v tcwnui me with eyes t!\ed .-n 1 ; rr:nr !. Itehliul him trailed .i | . i..>■ liis bag of ore had disappi-a. "Meilf; in' "' • al:::< ( s >';ibed as 1 trudged painfully into view. He slip ped from 1 :nn!e nnd ran toward me with outstret-linrl hands. "What is the matter, <>ld man? Why didn't you follow me that nlglit? 1 had to go. Yon see, 1 had heard the bell before!" 1 stared at him from hopeless eyes, and he read the truth. "You didn't—you followed the bell?" he stammered. "Yes," 1 said thickly. "And your gold—the ore?" "I gave It—gave it to the poor of the world," I said bitterly. "I had to do It." lie nodded tell you my experience. Peter, after you have eaten. I have food here and materials for a fire. 1 will make some coffee." "Where have you been?" I asked. "I found the ranch. I left my sack there and loaded with food to return for you. Don't say another word until you have rested." Late In the afternoon when the sun was drawing down behind the dark range Hedges told his story: "Five years ago, before I met you, Medford, I traveled for a large dealer in precious stones. I went to Calcutta on the track of a pair of magnificent pigeon blood rubles, the property of a gambling tnaharajah, who was hard pressed by his creditors. "These I bought, together with sev eral other splendid stones, the com bined value of which was $200,000.' "I walked into Calcutta from the maliarajah's palace just as dusk was falling. Perhaps the pressure of my revolver ngalnst my breast {rave me assurance, for it is a dark and iV.el.v road, but there was a fascination in watching the dying of the red glowing Indian sunset and the coining of Hie velvet black darkness Jeweled above with stars and pointed here and there with gleaming lights from scattered dwellings. "I was crossing a bleak stretch of wild ground, rank with parched grass and weeds, when I first heard the tem ple bell—the same bell that you heard last night and from which Iran away. "It seemed as if all the poor down trodden, plague stricken natives of India called appealingly for alms, it mattered little that the Jewels were not my own. I tore them from my belt with feverish Impatience and threw them into the alms basin, and they disappeared. Then something happened, and I went down, down! "When I regained consciousness I was still lying in the parched grass, and a pariah dog was licking my face. The stars shone overhead, but the tem ple was gone—marble walls and floor, luring bell—all gone!" Hedges burled his head in bis hands and was very still. "And what did you do?" I asked aft er a long silence. "I raved like a madman," returned Iledges, lifting his head fiercely. "1 ran into the city and found a man whom I knew, nnd he put great forces to work and discovered nothing. N'o one had seen or heard of such a tem ple, and they believed I had been drinking and been set upon by robbers. "I would be breaking stone now if I had not had a rich relative who lent me the fortune to replace the stolen gems. I am repaying him now." "Of course I am ruined," I said. "Half of what I have Is yotfrs, Pe ter, and you can pay me back," he said quickly. I held up my band. "I couldn't. Hedges. Yon know I am grateful. I am engaged to marry Ethel Lambert, as you are aware. I have nothing but my profession, no capita; whatever, and I inadg this Journey down into hadea, fof the gold to get a start. I hare lost it and. must begin again. I cannot ask her to wait much longer, and th© professor"— - ■»•/•*••• ' 'la Professor Lambert a stiff on HSasy T l demanded Hedges. "I him quite the other way, you ■ "Ho isn't a bit mercenary," I said hastily, "only I haven't got the face to take Ethel from hor luxurious homo into the poor quarters I can now af ford, and so"— "So you'll both be miserable forevef after," Interrupt©*}. edges dryly. "Let's go bapk to San "Francisco and see Professor Lambert before you do aijv{hin£ desperate." r. \ve relumeil our Journey the next day and several weeks afterward lized panTi o riT s, 'sn aTO ft Hnd shorn, ring ing the professor's doorbell. I did not ask for Ethel, though my eyes were aching to se» her, and so I was taken through the house and into the long passageway that led to the labora tory . - >- t X:. Professor Lambert was a metallur gist, I_found his gray head beut above some fragments of greenish metal on the table. When he had warmly greeted me I told my unlikely story, knowing it was scarcely credible, yet when I had con cluded the professor took me by the hand and led me into a back room. Then he told me the story of how he hud experimented with bell tones, hop ing to carry out a theory of his own that some day he might produce a bell whoso tones might find a response In human hearts. He hoped to attain a pitch of tone whose vibration might strike a chord of human sympathy in every heart, that the hearing of it might promote good fellowship and love and end in universal peace—a very pretty theory. The one casting be had made had re sulted in producing that strange bell whose call was to sacriiice. to give all in response to its command. Startled at the production and still uncertain as to its value, he was shocked to awake one morning and find tbat his assistant had disappeared and with him the boll. Secretly he bad pursued the man. Ills agents bad trailed the thief from country to country, and even after I had fallen senseless in the little chapel and had been thrown into outer dark ness by the adventurer the detectives had fiillen u;;on the temple and carried it and the thief triumphantly to San Francisco and Justice. A train of burtos carried the stage setting from place to place. Wherever men walked In solitary places with gold or silver or precious stones th temple might be found. "Your gold ore Is in that sack in the corner," concluded the professor, with a smile. "And now suppose you go down and see Ethel." Eager as I was to meet my sweet heart. I waited long enough to tele phone the strange story to Hedges, pa tiently waiting in the hotel to share his golden store with me, before I went to claim my happiness. Chinese Woman In Government Job. Miss Tye Leung has the distinction of being the first Chinese woman to receive a federal appointment in the United States, having been named as slstant to the matron In charge of the new Immigration station on Angel is land, San Francisco. Hundreds of Clii neso men and women are detained in this station every week pending their admission to the United States, and it was decided that a Chinese woman would be of great assistance to the existing staff. Miss Leung was rec ommended especially for the position by the occidental board of foreign mis sions. She Is well educated and speaks both English and Chinese fluently Misleading. "That is a fat, prosperous looking envelope. Does our salesman send in a big bunch of orders?" "Not exactly. That envelope con tains a receipt for his last check, his expense ac 'ount for this week, a re quest for a salary raise and a requisi tion for some more expense account blanks."—Louisville Courier-Journal. His Objection. Artist—Why do you object to thl> miniature? Nurlch—lt looks like me I'll admit, but It's too stingy. Bettet make one life size.—Llpplncott's. TWAIN SAVIOR Of YANKEE PARLOR Mlssoorian Changed Dread Cot ter Table's Style, Says Ado. SUNDAY PLEASURE FOR DOTS. Enforced Reading of "Lives of Saints" (on Subscription Only) SIM*. ceeded by "Innocents Abroad" intf "Huckleberry Finn," Hone* th* Boom* Asserts Chicago Humorist. A new benefit conferred on mankind* and especially American boyhood, has been discovered by George Ade in the June Review of Reviews. The newly unearthed boon was the forcing on the awe inspiring parlor center table of literature that was good, yet light, and not of the sort to cause angulsb to fill the youthful soul on Sundays. Mr. Ade wrote in part as follows: "Mark Twain should be doubly bless ed for saving the center table from utter dullness. I)o you remember that, center table of the seventies? The marble top showed glossy iu the sub | dued light that filtered through the lace curtains, nnd it was clammy cold even on hot days. The heavy mahog any legs were chiseled into writhing curves from which depended stern geo metrical designs or possibly bunches of grapes. The Bible had the place of honor and was flanked by subscription books. In those days the house never became cluttered with the ephemeral six best sellers. Stylo Painfully Uniform. "The book agents varied, but the book was always the pages, numerous steel engravings, car. lycue tailpieces, platitudes, patriotism, poetry, sentimental mush. One of the most popular still resting In many a dim sanctuary was known as 'Mother, Home and Heaven.' A ponderous col lection of 'Poetical Gems' did not In volve the publishers in any royalty en tanglements. Even the 'Lives of the Presidents' and 'Noble Deeds of the. Great and Brave' gave every evidence of having been turned out as piece work by needy persons temporarily lacing employment oq newspapers. ( us not forget tne "Manual of Deportment and Social Usages,' from which the wife of any agriculturist could learn the meaning of It. S. V. P. pnd the form to be employed In ac knowledgTng an invitation to a levee. "Subscription books were dry pick ing for boys; also they were accessi ble only on the Sabbath after the weekly scouring. On week days tho boys favored an underground circulat ing library, named after Mr. Beadle, and the haymow was the chosen read ing room. Just when front room lit erature seemed at its lowest ebb, so far as the American boy was con cerned, along came Mark Twain. T Joy Succeeded Horror. "Can yv u sec tho boy, a Sunday morning prisoner, approach the new book with a dull sense of foreboding, expecting a dose of Tupper's "Prover bial Philosophy?" Can you see him a few minutes later when he finds him self linked arm in arm with Mulberry Sellers or Buck Fanshaw or the con vulsing idiot who wanted to know If Christopher Columbus was sure enough dead? No wonder he curled up on the haircloth sofa and hugged the thing to his bosom and lost all interest In Sunday school. "The new uniform edition with the , polite little pages, high art bindings and all the boisterous woodcuts care fully expurgated can never take the place of those lumbering subscription books. "While we are honoring Mark Twain as a great literary artist. n philosopher and a teacher, let tin' boys of the sev enties add their tribute. They knew him for his mlrai le of making the sub scription book something to be read and not merely looked nt. He con verted the frouf room from a mauso«- leum into a temple of mirth " Couldn't Walk. Wlfey—Tou told me the other dayi we must avoid all luxuries and con-i fine oursehes to absolute necessities! only. Hubby—That's so, my dear. Wifey—Well, last night you came home* from the club In a cab. Hubby—Yes. but that was an absolute necessity.— Fliegende Blatter. Cause Enough. "What made him angry when he was telephoning to the lawyers about his father's will?" "He was cut off."—Buffalo Express. The Kind It Was. •'Waiter, this chuck steak I ordered Is like wood." "Yes. sail. Dat nm woodchuelc »tenk."—Clev ulaud Plain Dealer. SDMI!"! A Flellabl* TIN SHOP For all kind of Tin Roofing, Spouting: nnd Csnsral Job Work. Stoves, Hestsrs, Ranges. Furnaces, sto. PRICES TDE LOWEST! QUALITY TDE BEST.* JOHN HIXSON NO. 11# E. FRONT ST.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers