USE THE SAME WIRE TELEPHONE MAKES TROUBLE FOR WOMEN OF SUBURBANVILLE. Mrs, OnrrlnK nnri Mr*. Twnrln* Agreed on the Subject of Ilutchere, but When Hack Discovered Wlio the Other Was Everything W aa 08. Since telephones on party wires were introduced iu Suburbauville there has been a very thorough readjustment of old feuds. The party wire system permits three or four telephones on the same Wire. Every telephone bell on this wire rings at the same time. The special telephone thut is wanted is indicated by the number of times the bell rings. Each subscriber on a party wire quickly ac quires a decided contempt, if not hatred, for every other subscriber on the same wire. Suburbanville's social lines were for merly marked by membership in church congregations, in some one of the dozen or moro whist clubs and lastly by the butcher who supplied the family. When Mrs. Smith wanted to invite a dozen con genial women to form a whist or bowl ing club, she sorted out on her list the women who patronized the same butcher and went to the same church. Since the party telephones have been putin It has made the problem of col lecting a dozen congenial women so com plex that It would puzzle a graduate in double entry bookkeeping. Not only must the hostess bear in mind the con gregation to which the women belong and the butchers whom they patronize, but she must be sure not to bring together two women who use the same party wire. Such a disaster happened kist week. Mrs. Onering had never met Mrs. Tworing, though their telephones were on the same wire. When Mrs. Tworing's telephone was putin, she thoroughly en joyed the novelty of calling up all of her friends who had telephones a dozen times a day. Mrs. Onering had become ac customed to her telephone, and the con tinual jangling of Mrs. Tworing's calls annoyed her. Several lively skirmishes followed over the wire. One morning when Mrs. Onering was anxious to telephone for a cab to catch a certain train she waited for Mrs. Two ring to get through telephoning until her patience was exhausted. Then ehe bruke in on the wire with the request: "Won't you please give me a chance to call up the livery stable? I'm in a hur ry." "Are you. Indeed?" said the voice. "Who are you?" "I am Mrs. Onering. Who are you?" "I am Mrs. Tworing, and I shall com plain to central that you have been lis tening." Well, then, I will tell central that I can't help listening because you are us ing the telephone all the time. I have as much right on this wire as you have." "Comes from having ill bred persons on the wire, and" — "People who never had a telephone be fore, and"— "I'll complain, and"— "I won't stand It a"— "Snch impertinence!" Bar-r-r-r, and both telephones rang off at the same time. It so happened that Mrs. Onering and Mrs. Tworing did not know each other by sight. They were both guests at a Helping Hand social, and, happening to be seated together, they opened conversation without the fopnality of an introduction. agreed beautifully about butchers, and each wondered why she had not hap pened to meet the other before. Then they came to the subject of telephones. "I find my telephone a great conven ience," said Mrs. Onering, "but I have the most disagreeable people on it. One woman has just had her telephone put In, and she works It to death. She has been telephoning all this last month. I think I will apply to have my wire changed. I can't stand it." "That's just my experience," said Mrs. Tworing delightedly. "There la the most Impertinent woman on my wire. I know from her voice that she is a perfect fright. She la so curious that she listens Whenever I use the wire. If one could enly chase the other subscribers on her party wire, it would be a great advan tage." So many common experiences made Mrs. Onering and Mrs. Tworing very chummy, and each was just about to in cite the other to call when the hostess came tip and said to them; "Why, I did not know that you two people knew- each other." "We have just scraped an acquaint ance," said Mrs. Onering, "and I wish that you would introduce us formally." "Certainly," said the hostess. "Mrs. Onering, I want to present a neighbor of yours, Mrs. Tworing." "Tworing. did you say?" asked Mrs. Onering. "Tea, I remember the name perfectly. So sorry, but I must be going Dow. I have had a lovely afternoon." 'And out she went. "If she had not gone, I would have done so," aaid Mrs. Tworing. "Why, I thought that you were getting along beautifully," said the hostess. "Her telephone Is on my party wire, and she bothers me very much." Mrs. Tworing and Mrs. Onering pass each other on the street as strangers, and .when they conflict In using the telephone each treats the other with frigid polite ness. So many hostesses In Suburbanville have had similar awkward experiences that they have now applied to the tele phone company for a classified list of the party telephones in use, so that two wo men who use the same wire may not be Invited at the same time.—New York Sun. « . k"- Beanly Requires Sloep. Nearly all the great beauties of the world have testified to the value of sleep. Under its Influence every muscle is relaxed and all care dispelled. The heart beats slower, gaining n. w vigor for the waking hours. A midday nap, if ©nly for a few minutes' duration, is Wonderfully refreshing, nnri it is c r.eral- Iy conceded that sleep during the enKer tours of the night is far more beneficial than that obtained after midnight.— 'Maude C. Murray-Miller in Woman's Home Companion. -j Baked Banaaaa. For breakfast take as many bananas as are required, cut a small piece of the peel from each end and cut two or three gashes in the peel. Put them In a baking pan and bake them from 13 to 20 min utes in a quick oven. Lay them on a hot platter. In eating them baked in the peels, split them lengthwise and take the pulp out as you would that of a baked potato, using cream and sugar on them. Not as a Rale. He had beeu trying all evening to make a good Impression. He had told all his humorous stories and had given one Impassioned speech from "Cyra no," but was still unconscious. Thick skinned, he failed to perceive all her efforts to get rid of him. Finally there was a deep silence. Fidgeting, he grew nervous and cast about for some thing to say. "Do you wear that sort of collar as a rule?" be stammered foolishly. "No," the haughty maid replied frig- Idly; "as a collar." Then he fled.—New York Tlme9 | India's Wild Animal*. I A government report Just Issued ■hows that during the year 1899 la India the number of deaths among hu man beings attributed to carnivorous animals was 2,006. Tigers caused the death of 899, wolves of and leop ards, hyenas, jackals and crocodiles were accountable for a large propor tion of the remainder. The loss of hu man life from snakes reached the high total of 24,621, a greater mortality than in any of the four preceding years. Nearly half the deaths occur red in Bengal. 112 J TraißinTfi I Is indispensable to athletic II success. In training, much , stress is laid upon diet; care- JIJ ful attention to the quantity '|| II and quality of the food eat- | en, with regularity of meals. That is the secret of strength for every man. Xo man can be stronger than his stomach. The careless and irregular eating, of business men, causes disease of the stomach and its allied organs of digestion and nutrition. There can be no sound health until these diseases are cured. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery cures diseases of the stomach and other organs of digestion and nutrition, and enables the body to be built up into vig orous health by *he assimilation of the nutrition extracted from food. "1 was taken with the grippe, which resulted in heart and stomach trouble," write* Mr. T R. Caudill, of Montland. Alleghany Co ,N. C. "I was unable to do anything a good part of the time. I wrote to Dr. Herce about my condition, having full confidence in hla medicine He ad vised rae to take his 'Golden Medical Diacovery,' which I did Before I had finiahed the second bottle I began to feel better. I have used nearly nix bottles. I feel thankful to God for the bene fit I have received from Dr Pierce's Golden Med ical Discovery. I can highly recommend it to •11 persona as a good and safe medicine " Dr. Pierce's Pellets cure constipation. FORTUNB FROM A WHIPPING ■lity $3,000 Lash** Started On* Man to Great Wealth. There died recently In San Francisco John Magee, one of the wealthiest resi dents of that city of millionaires, says the New York Press. John Magee's Immense fortune came originally as a result of a flogging which he received In San Jose, Guatemala, iu 1874. In that year Magee was a British consu lar agent iu San Jose. He fell out with the military commander there, one Colonel Gonzales. Gonzales threat ened and stormed, but Magee defied him. Thereupon the colonel took Ma gee from his consulate, ignoring the protection of the British flag, and or dered him to be flogged for his con tumacy. He got 00 lashes on his bare back and then was thrown Into prison. A British man-of-war came steaming Into the harbor of San Jose, and a wrathful man was her commander. He demanded that Magee be delivered over to him immediately under penalty of blowing the town sky high. Magee was given up, but that did uot closo the incident. Unless an apology for the insult to the British flag was made immediately by the government of Guatemala, the flag saluted and an In demnity paid to Magee the British gov ernment threatened direful things. Guatemala appealed to the United States, but this country replied that the Monroe doctrine did not protect lit tle Central American republics In com mitting such outrages as that perpe trated by Colonel Gouzales, and Guate mala was advised to comply with the just British demands. Thereupon the government of Guatemala offered to pay Magee $.'100,000, $3,000 for every lash he had received. The apology and the salute of the British flag were also forthcoming. Now, this amount cannot be found ♦very day in the treasury of a Central American republic, and while the gov ernment of Guatemala might agree to pay the sum the collecting of It would probably be delayed and attended with trouble and complications. So Magee ■aid to the Guatemalan government that he really could not distress it financially by accepting such a large amount of money, but would be con tent to call it square for certain con cessions which would cost it nothing. Magee got the concessions at once, and they included the right to establish a bank In San Jose and the building of wharfs In that port. The government was so grateful to him because he had not Insisted on cash that he was pro tected In his monopoly every way, and thus he laid the foundation of his enor mous fortune. Littleielil's Prllff. Representative Littlefield has a queer assortment of prizes won at euchre parties. A progressive euchre party was Kiven at the Washington hotel at which he lives about a year ago, and he carried off one of the trophies awarded for the highest score, a beer stein. A few days ago a similar affair took place at the hotel, and again be made the top score, the prize for which proved to be a horn and silver mounted corkscrew. Mr. Littlefield represents a prohibition district and is himself an abstainer from intoxicants, but he says he can use the corkscrew on mineral water, of which there are 6everal famous springs in his district. Sir Henry IrvlnK'i Hint. During Sir Henry living's recent performance of"The Merchant of Venice" at the Theater Royal. Belfast, much nnnoyar.ee was caused to fre quenters r," the stalls and circles by ladies who u. 1 not rtniovc their hats, With the result that the management at last decided to give the fair ones a gentle hint. Prior to the commence ment of the first act a curtain was dis played on which was painted In large letters the following: "Madam, will you kindly take off your hat, as 1 am sitting immediately behind you and cannot see the stage?" The hint was sufficient, for all hats and bonnets dis appeared.—l'all Mall Gazette. "Xevripnper KiikHmli." It is sweet to hear Professor Louns bury, the head of the English depart ment at Yale, saying a word In behalf of what 6ome of his more pedantic brethren ure pleased to call newspaper English. It is Professor Lounsbury's opinion that while newspaper writing Is subject to conditions which tend to Impair Its excellence, Inasmuch as lit tle or no time can be allowed for ex amination or revision, it is generally marked by greater perspicuity and en ergy of expression than more labored literary work, and those who write it are as a class far superior to those Who Bet out to be their critics and cen sors.— Bostou Herald. Future Rladneai. The lambs will soon be skipping cn the hills; Cheer up. Ere itmg we'll be receiving Icemen's bills; Cheer up. A little wliilo and we may erase to pay To sit with Happy maidens at the play, And then they'll make us thaw aume other way; Cheer up, cheer up, chftr upl The time for golf is awiftly drawing near; Cheer up. The fake atrawberry bo* will coon be here; Cheer up. Your weary wife ere long will hie away To breezy mountain top or placid bay Aad there run up new bills for you to pay; Cheer up, cbeer up. cheer up! —C'uitago Times Herald. THE HORSE SHOW. T. H. Camp of Belleville, Out., owns the pacer Walter K, 2:14%. Oliver Cabana of Buffalo has only the pacer Geruld Rex left iu his stable. The Lake Erie circuit will be compos ed of ten tracks in 1901, with average purses of S4OO. Welcome, is said to be not only the fastest but the largest horse now •tanding for service in California. George E. Lattimer of Buffalo has bought for speedway purposes Whiffet, 2:22%, pacing, and Bex, 2:21, pacing. George McMaun of ltochelle, Ills., has bought the bay stallion Sphinx E, by Sphinx, 2:20%, dam by Ethan Allen, from J. W. Farrand of Midway, Wis. J. A. Burnett, secretary of the Gentle men's Driving club of Denver, has bought the chestnut paciug gelding liar ry Wilkes, by Walsingham, dam by A 1 mont. Buffalo is to have a new mile track. The Lang farm has been selected as the ■ite, as there is no grading to be done, and the soil is perfectly adapted to tht purpose. The Putnam Park and Fair corpora tion is out with an announcement of two early closing stakes, one for SOOO for 2:14 pacers and one for S4OO for 2:28 trotters. Two horses can be carried on payment of one fee. Entries close April 15 with Byron D. Bugbee, secretary, Putnam, Conn. Water aa a Porlter. In addition to the purification of air by vegetation, by sunlight and by the winds water is one of the prominent aids in these grand purifying agencies. It is constantly absorbing filth, which in the streams is carried to the ocean and there devoured by millions on millions of crea tures made for this purpose. It Is well, therefore. If there are foul gases about us, fresh paint or any poisons to have water at hand for absorption, with cop peras combined, in some instances. Of course this water is unfit for kitchen use, but may be put around the trees or on the garden. It follows that water that has stood In the house for any time and that in any sleeping rooms, sick rooms, etc., Is utterly unfit for use. This applies to medicines, especially liquids, unless kept in tightly corked bottles. Overheard In m Scotch Hotel. Traveler (seating himself at the break fast table)—Weil, waiter, what's for breakfast? Waiter (cheerfully)— Calves' brains, sir, fried liver, deviled kidneys- Traveler —Oh, hang your complalntsl Give me the menu.—Glasgow Times. The Adroit Caahler. "All the while the cashier was burn ing the candle at both ends." "And keeping it darkl Well, I de clare!"— Detroit Journal. Having no opportunity to do wrong doesn't make you better than those who have every chance.—Atchison Globe. Oysters when stale will open easily, but the shell will close on the knife whea tresh. A Precocious Baby. The baby was only 4, but she was an only child and had lived with her par ents largely In hotels, and she was a self possessed little maiden. She was always a model of propriety as to man ners, so that when one day a young man, a friend of her papa's and mam ma's and a great admirer of the little girl, asked to take her out to luncheon all by herself she was allowed to go. A very tiny girl may go without a chaperon sometimes. The little girl was to do the ordering. She undertook this responsibility with confidence and, taking up the menu, Btudied It with aa much gravity as if the letters were not as unreadable to her as Greek would have been to her mamma. "I will have some meat and some po tatoes," she said gravely, "and by and by I may have some Ice cream." The order was given, the cream fol lowed, and the little lady was an alto gether charming, dainty and sweet lit tie companion for luncheon. The meal ended with the dignity with which it had begun, the young woman donned her wraps, and as the young man was preparing to escort her to the door she remarked gravely: "And now I will have some flowers." It was the last touch of grown up ness, and it was the proudest young man In New York who took home a pretty and dignified baby with a big bunch of roses in her arms.—New York Times. THE TURF RECORD. McKlnney, 2:11%. will make the eon at San Jose, CaL A green mare In California has beea named Mormon GlrL Hamilton Bros., Bellefontalne, 0., now own Alice J, 2:09%. Bed Bover, 2:25, at Darlington, Wis., Aug. 28, Is said to be by Merry Brook, a son of Meadow Brook. Charley Doble is wintering at Apala chin, N. Y., and may open a public training stable at Syracuse. Boydello, 2:14%, who had an ankle severely Bpralned at Santa Bosa, Cal., last July, has entirely recovered. A 4-year-old by Oro Wilkes, 2:11, out of Mary Best, 2:12%, owned in Cali fornia, Is said to be a great prospect At the last meeting of the North Penn Trotting association, Philadel phia, 80 names were enrolled on the membership list. John S. Bratton, the well known East St Louis horseman, Is Buffering from an attack of paralysis. He Is reported to hare lost the use of his legs. The old Spokane (Wash.) track be came so valuable that It was cut Into building lots, and now horsemen are looking for capital to build a new track. Philadelphia now has the honor of having more directors of horse asso ciations than any other city, and there are still five vacancies In the Boad Drivers' club. I . THE PEDAGOGUE. Hoke Smith of Atlanta Is to deliver the address before the graduating law class of Washington and Lee university, Lex ington, Va., ut the commencement in June. Professor Michael I. Pupin of Colum bia has been selected by President Low as the university's representative at the celebration of the four hundred and fif tieth anniversary of the University of Glasgow in June. Ira Wilson Hoover of New York city has been awarded by the University of Pennsylvania the John Stewardson me morial scholarship in architecture, valued at SI,OOO, the holder of which is to spend one year iu travel aud in the study of architecture in Europe. Six ladies now rank in the professorate of Swiss universities. Bern has four. One is the professor of history of philoso phy, two are in the departments of sur gery arid of the Telluric observatory, while the fourth Is civic librarian. At Zurich there are two, both in the depart ment of surgery. It Saved His Leg. P. A. Danforth, of LaGrange, Ga., suffered for six months with h frightful running sore on his leg, but writes that Buoklen's Arnica Salve wholly cured it in five days. For Ulcers, Wounds, HHt s, it's the best salve in the world. 'Tire guaranteed Only 25c. Sold by Paules &|Co. druggist. A HELPING HAi\Dl fTha greatest { help Is health, j A poor inan with j health is a thou- j sand times bet • t«r off than a j sick man with a j million dollars, j Nearly every- t body could be I healthy If they j only knew it. j Suffering can I usually be trac- j ed to either lg- 1 norance orj doubt. Some j sufferers are ig- j norant of tho proper remedv. ♦ Others have tried so many medi- J cines that they doubt the efficacy of } them all. ♦ Dr David Kennedys j Rivorite Remedy I is a helping hand that is held out to the sick. It does more than help —it cures. It cures liver complaints, j constipation, scrofula, rheumatism, eysipelas, and all kidney, bladder and urinary diseases. Mr. E. C. Caswell, of Brockport, N. Y., was terribly afflicted with scrofula. He had no hope of cure. But Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy gave him great benefit, and he recommends it to other scrofu la lous sufferers. Don't give up because other rem edies fail. Hemember this is the grandest remedy anybody ever I made. j fi.oo a bottle; six bottles, ?5.00. ♦ At any drug store. THE ROYAL BOX. Queen Alexandra, wife of the new British sovereign, has from girlhood bee a an accomplished musician and some years ago received from Trinity college, Dublin, the degree of doctor of music. Queen Victoria received about $120,- 000,000 from the British nation in pay ment of her official salary. This would make about 170 tons of gold in English sovereigns, or saore than two tons of gold for each year of her reign. According to the Rotterdam corre spondent of the London Express, the na tional present for Queen Wilhelmina, which had hitherte been kept a great se cret. will take the form of a new crown, and £20,000 has been subscribed. One result of the accessloa of King Edward is to elevste his eldest daughter, the Duchess of Fife, to the position of princess royal of England. The title ia of no great practical value, except that the holder of It is Included within the provisions against treason that guard the persons of the sovereign and of the Prince and Prlnceaa of Wale*. Queen Marguerite Is writing the "Home Life of King Humbert" and is collecting all the correspondence which ever passed between them, for the king sever destroyed a letter or telegram that he received from her. Bhe Is also collect ing all the prints and engravings of the king and herself whenever they were to gether at any ceremony, public and pri vate. A Pat eat Hale. Of the many extraordinary things for which patent protection has been granted a hole seems to be the most useless and impossible. Yet there are many patents for holes, and, what Is more, the patents are valid and valu able. One of the best relates to holes In ships' bottoms for the admission and escape of water to the condensers. Every one who has seen a screw steamer under way will have noticed a stream of water issuing from her side, a little above the water line; that water ia pumped into the ship for the pur pose of condensing the waste steam that leaves the cylinders and returning It M water to the boilers. At last it occurred to a genius that If a hole were made in the bottom of the ship forward of the condenser and another abaft it, the water would cir culate around the condenser without the aid of a pump. It is for the shape of these holes, so that they will offer lea* resistance to the water when the ■Up Is traveling fast, that several pat ents have been granted. VICTORIA'S ESCAPES. In 1839 a madman was arrested for trying to break Into Buckingham pal ace. June 10, 1840, Edward Oxford fired twice at the queen while driving. He was sent to an insane asylum. May 30, 1842, John Francis shot at lha queen while driving; sentenced to bang; sentence commuted to life Im prisonment at queen's request July 3, 1842, John Bean pointed pis tol at the queen and tried to tire; got ■even years' Imprisonment. In 1849 a man named Hamilton fired at the queen. Feb. 29. 1870, Arthur O'Connor drew a pistol on the queen at the door of Buckingham palace. Ia the Itantry. Every nursery cannot have the idea* heating of a grate or wood fireplace. Bteam heading seems expedient and there fore has come to stay. There is no ua« of combating adverse conditions with complaints and moauings. The thing is to do something. If our houses are heat ed by a system which dries out the air, making it lifeless, the question is how te replace the lost moisture by artificial means. We need not ask a chemist, architect or other expert how to do It, the simplest, most natural means in the world—evaporation—being all sufficient. Stand a shallow vessel of water on ev ery radiator or In every register, and the air of your house will be delightfully re freshing and healthful. To avoid un sightly effects, use ornamental vessels for radiators of metal or porcelain and granite dripping pans in registers or on radiators that are out of sight. This evaporation measure, coupled with a tem perature not above 08 degrees, preferably OS degrees, gives the ideal atmosphere fot comfort and health. It is easily secured without expense and is attainable in ev ery home. Father of Gaglsod'i Civil Service. H. W. Chisholm, who died recently at the age of 93, was the father of the English civil service. He was appoint ed In 1824 by Lord Grenviile to a Junior clerkship in the bill department of the exchequer, in which his father was senior clerk before him. The office hours In Mr. Cblsholm's early days were 11 to 2, a bright outlook compar ed with the 10 to 5 through which the civil servant has now to suffer ennui. Idr. Chisbolin retired in 1877, after 53 years of service. He wus the futher •112 Hugh Chisholm, for some time ed itor of The St. James Gazette and well knowu in London Journuilsm. Oar Lsdr of the Snout. Noting a suggestion that the British colonies be called kingdoms, the Mont real Herald snys: "There Is not In the world a more democratic community. In Canada we have neither the ap panages of a court nor the survival of a feudal nobility by which to be Joined to the past. We have only a growing population of Industrious freemen, knowing no castes or classes, aiml a government that is truly by the people and for the people." THE DOMINIE. The Rev. Hi-nry B. Smith, a Cherokee Indian, has resigned the rectorship of St. Paul's church, Ardmore, 1. 'P., and gone to Milwaukee to ngsist the Episcopalian bishop in the cathedral parish. Sir George Williams, founder of the Loudon Young Men's Christian associa tion, may attend the jubilee convention of the association in Boston this coming June. Sir George is now 80 years old. He is at present in southern Europe for his health. Francis Valentine Woodhouse, who died a few days ago at the age of 90, was the last surviving apostle of the original 12 of the Catholic Apostolic church found ed by Edward Irving. Mr. Woodhouse was also one of the oldest English bar risters, having beeu called to the bar in 182 G. Medals are to be given to the contrib utors to the Methodist twentieth century fund. Those giving $5 or more in excess of last year will receive a bronze medal bearing the face of John Wesley, Sunday school scholars giving $1 will receive a gilt medal with the face of Francis As bury, and donors belonging to the Ep worth league will receive a bronze medal of Bishop N'inde. THE GLASS OF FASHION. Eollenne fabrics are very much worn. They show a sort of corded stripe this season both in straight and curved lines and also chine flowered designs. A revival is promised of the old time ■ilk mitts for summer and especially with the elbow sleeves. One style of mitt has applique flowers of lace in the finest net. Black velvet dotted over with gold beads, with a star decoration at inter vals, is one variation of dress trimming which in the two inch width makes a very pretty belt. Bands of silk, satin or velvet on a lace stock wired into position make one of the popular stocks, which is supple mented with loops and ends of the vel vet ribbon in front, a lace butterfly bow or a bow and soft ends of chiffon and lace. Casual hints and glimpses of the spring millinery seem to reveal the fact that in general hats are still to be low and broad. And yet other reports assure us that the high crown in the directoire style will be one feature sug gested by the long coats. Ever since last autumn the French fashion makers have tried to launch their full skirts Into favor, but as yet the American woman will have none of them. The thin fabrics, together with •ome very enticing models, may win her fancy to this style, however. A pretty blue silk blouse is trimmed with stitched bands of white cloth and gold buttons. The sleeves, open the en tire length on top, are strapped across with the cloth bands ending in a point at either side with a flat button, and the undersleevea and vest of lace are also strapped with cloth.—New York Sun. Dincardtnic Their (nnti. The old men in employments where youthful activity is required are discard ing their walking sticks. A little while ago Brown, let uc call him, failed to secure a promotion to which his long term of faithful service entitled him. Scores of other employees would have bet their lives on his going up. The office had look ed forward to it for years. But a younger man was lifted over Brown's head, which meant practically that the old gentle man's usefulness was ended. One day a friend of Brown's asked the head of the house if he had any particular reason for his action. "Yes, I have,"was the frank reply. "Mr. Brown carries a cane." "Car ries a cane! He has carried a cane ever since you knew- him. I never dreamed before that carrying a cane was a dis credit to a man." "Certainly not. But Mr. Brown leans on it." Which meant that if Mr. Brown required the support of a cane he was grown too old to be of further use in active business.—New York Press. Gladntone on Cromwell. I remember once makiug bold enough to remonstrate with Mr. Gladstone for not taking what I considered to be the proper amount of interest in Oliver Cromwell's christening robes, which were duly extended before him at Chequers court."l cannot bring myself," said he, "to care about Oliver. He was no lover of free institutions." "But, at least," so I ventured to murmur, gazing at the christening robes, "you cannot deny he was a Christian." "I see no occasion," replied Mr. Gladstone, with one of his grimmest looks, "either to deny or affirm your proposition."—Augustiue Birrell ia North American Review. "A* Mad aa a Hatter.'* Probably very few persons who fre quently use the expression "As mad as a hatter" have any idea as to what it means or why n hatter Is necessarily any more subject to tits of anger than a plumber, a blacksmith or a carpen ter. The expression is said to have come into use half a century ago, when the manufacture of hats was done wholly by hand. The most striking thing about the process was that of the beating up of the felt. The hatter first dipped the mass of wool and hair fre quently into hot water; then, seizing a stick in each hand, he belabored the mass most vigorously, stopping now and then to get his breath, until the material was matted together In a rough sort of felt. The lively beating administered to the felt, as if the work man were actually incensed, gave rise to the familiar simile. Society, The avenue was extremely gay yes terday. Mr. and Mrs. Corydon Wadburner met in front of the Ash de Cash club and spoke. Mrs. Wadburner wore pearl gray. Miss de Munn and Miss Beryl de Munn were visiting the commercial agencies. Inquiring as to the debts of his grace the Duke of Chesplaster. The Misses de Munn wore all their diamonds. Mrs. Lovelace-Lovelace exercised her dog. Both were in half mourning for Mr. Lovelace-Lovelace.—Detroit Jour nal. Enibarraanlng. Nearsighted Conductor—Two?—New York Evening Journal. Old Soldier's Experience. M. M. Austin, a civil war veteran, of Winchester, lmi., writes: "My wife was sick a long time in spite of good doc tor's treatment, but was wholly cured by Dr. King's New Life Pills, which worked wonders for her health." They always do. Try them. Only 25c at Panles & Co's drug store. little Perry's Awful Threut. I won't ever live in this Louse no mure, And I'm {join away, 'way off somewhere In t he dark woods, and mebby a bear Or something uobody ever saw before Might come and eat me up, and then, I bet you, when My pa lias no little boy he'll be •-twry be punished mil AM I I'm (join to starve and not Ever eat unything again at all, And when I'm up with God and got Wings and can look at my pa and he Comes home and bees my coat in the hall And looks all around everywhere And 1 ain't there, 1 bet he'll be sorry he punished me! Ami when I'm far away And nearly starved and can hardly stand Tiny might be a big, bad man come along ar.3 say He'd take me off to some 6trange land, And then, when the people told ny pa llow cruel he was, I bet he'd be The saddest person you ever saw And sorry he punished me I And when th#-y had no little boy no more Mamma wculd cry all day, 4nd when no little boy would open the door For pa at night and say, • Hello!" I bet That's when he'd be The saddest yet. And I'll stay this time, but ho B b b b-better quit punishin me! —Chicago Times Herald. ONLY AN OLD SONG. Bat It llltiMtrnli-d the Curiosity of :i ■ New York Crowd. It was only a song, and an old one at that, but It came near causing a block on the Broadway surface lint* the other day. The singer was as black as the coal In the cart he was driving, but that fact cast no shadow on his exuber ant spirits. As he swung his chariot from Broadway into Cortlandt street he raised his voice. Then the trouble began. When the notes of "Old Black Joe" rang out high and clear above the din of traffic, expressions of blank amaze nient overspread the faces of the hur rying pedestrians who thronged the sidewalks. Necks were craned in a vain search for the location of some newly patented phonograph. Crowds collected and gazed vacantly upon the air, as if they expected to locate tin* sound in some office window; teams were drawn up until a long line of trucks extended up Cortlandt street to Broadway, barring access to the street, that their drivers might ascertain the cause of the crowd's curiosity. Sud denly a newsboy cried: "Ah, rubber! Dontcher see it's only de nigger a-slngln?" The crowd laughed. The darky, now lustily holding forth on"The Suwannee River," turned sharply into Church street, totally oblivious to the excite ment he had caused. The crowd then dispersed, and the long line of wagons began to move once more. "Well," exclaimed a Jerseyman ou his way to the ferry, "New Yorkers call country people curious, but"— He shrugged ids shoulders and passed ou. —New York Mail and Express. Cheerful Homes. Handsome furniture will not, una Mcd, make a home cheerful. The charm of a cozy home rests principally with the housekeeper. If she is fortunate enough to have sunny, well lighted rooms her task is half ilone. In apartments into which the sun never shines recourse must he made to various devices to make up, so far as may be, for this grave lack. A sunless room should have bright furnishings. The walls should be warmly tinted, the curtains should give a roseate glow to the light that passes through them. An open tire always adds brightness and an air of comfort to the room. An attractive room should not be too orderly. A book left lying on the table, a bit of needlework, an open piano may Indicate the taste and occupations of the inmates without suggesting that there is not a place for everything in that room. There is such a thing as being too neat and orderly in a home for the comfort of the inmates. How to be happy without hazing is now the problem to which the West Toint cadets are seriously devoting themselves. The Rev. Dr. Huntington of New York deplores games of chance in pri vate houses. He favors church wed dings. C.KANS.M; CATARRH AM) IIKU.IM. ( I KK KOK CATARRH i||Ml; The Hprrlflc KaYFEVEr JJ Ely's Cream Balm It Easy and to use. Contains no (iives Relief at HAY FEVER It opens ami cleanses the Nasal Pass ages. Allays Inflamation. Heals and Protects the Membrane. Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. Large Size, 50 cents at Druggists or by mail; Trial Size, 10 cents bv mail. ELY BR< )THERS, 56 Warren Street, New York. Red I Suppress^ Menstruation UrOSS PAINFUL Menstruation I H.nSV Ana a PREVENTIVE for ■ vai iv I FIMALE ' Q ■■■ IRREGULARITIES 111 Arc Safe and Reliable, 112 q I g^T^erfectj^Harmless The Ladies' ?RlCEsi.oo Sent postpaid on receipt of price. Money refunded if not as _ * y - Yin de Cinchona Co. Des Moines, lowa. For Sale by Rossman & Son. Ihe HANDIEST AND BEST WAY TO Handiest and Best Route between JP ' HE PAN-AMERICAN EXPOSITION <M? NEW YORK is the [jSHHSE For Information, Ratei, etc., addreja l^lntTUi/illlllil 4ts BROADWAY, N.V. la* MAIN •T., BurfALO. 10* ST., CHICAGO. EIGHTH 4 OLIVC ITS., ST. LOUIS. 2a CXCMANSE PLACt, N.Y. *CTI F7TCT T. E. CLARKE. T. W. LEE, B. O. CALDWELL. Qen'l Supenniandent. Qan'l Paiaengar Ag't. Traffic Managar. D.L.&W. RAILROAD. TIME TABLE. In Effect September Ist, 1899 WEST FAS FAS NEW VOKK. p „ a . M .j ! p M Itari-lay St Lv. g i 10 ot; Cristopher St. J „ J lu ui llolxiki'ii » S'-nuiton A i ;; y . daily p * 1 - 777. .M. 3 86;? 112 SdRANTOW i ' 10 I*l js| 340 •'»" liellevue , ...JSte^JK Tayiorville 'io'is 208 3 ®?v in Lackawanna I lo 21" 65 ! , Itiiryea ' J J 313 I'itwton I i" a, 217 14 Susquehanna Ave... I in a 220 405 ••• West Plttston ! n, au 22J 40W ® jJJJ Wyoming :«5 !o ,j i'ii 4 , 13 r : « Forty Fort : 7 0 .... Bennett io m 2aw KINGSTON I JOWI 242 *F $ £ Kingston 10 f>u 2-H *«.. V, I'lymouth June... .! 2 47 4 3A Plymouth i "ii'uii 2BJ 2 Avondale ! 2 57 ....'I Ai Nanticoke | °ii*i3 302 .... ' Hunlock'rj. : , 11 jy 310 .... Shiokshinny ! 1130 324 ....' Hick's Ferry I it'll 43 336 .... Keach I'aven ! 1148 542 .... Herwick j 11 51 349 Hrlar Creek i If 3 56 ...., I.lme kldice i OHi 09 404 ...J Espy 83. 12 13 411 ....! HloomshurK . j*4 12 22 417 .... Kupert j8 6' 12 27 423 .... : Catawlssa I 8 5t 12 32 42« Danville 910 12 47 442 .. Chulasky I ... | 4 49 j Cnmeron » 2 12 67 464 K4O NOHTHLMBKRLAKD »35 110 608 y _ _ Ar. A.M P. M. P. M. P.M. M 'JOINO BAST. (•TATIOm. ~A S PAB. ! PAR. PAS. PAS !_ NBW YOSE r , , n . p. ni.. a.in a.m. am Barclay St. Ar. 3 30; 600 640 Christopher St... 3no 4 5o : 635 Hoboken 2 471 44K 825 Scranton 10 05: 12 Ml I 10 |a.m. p.m. am 'daily ! p.M A.M. P. M. P. M. V. M.jdlv Scranton y42 12 35 455 1 6 3oitfo7 •Bellevue 93., 450 6 30|9 02 Tayiorville 933 445 6 251857 Lackawanna 9 26 1 437 5 i 47 Duryea 82.il 434 5 ;8 4» Plttston y 11(1 12 17 429 5 J8 44 Susquehanna Ave.. 9 161 12 14 424 5 830 West Fltteton «12 .... ! 421 6 836 Wyoming 908 la 081 4 lti 5 822 Forty Fort 9 0.1 | 410 4■» |8 28 Bennett 9 Wi! ! 406 4J U 824 Kingston, 8 671 12 081 401 4 821 Kingston 855 12 00j 482 4 >BIO Plymouth Junction 8 501 | 365 4 4 818 Plymouth 816 11 52 351 4 4ljß 01 Avondale 8 40 1 3 46 806 Nanticoke 8 3". 1145' 3 42 {7 51 Hunlock s 8 27{ ! 3 34 746 Shlckshlnny 8 151 11 30 3 24! "38 Hick's Ferry 804 1 3 13! *35 Beach Haven 753 1 3 o7 1 7 12 Berwick 7 45; 11 04 301 TO6 HriarCreok 7 afci 1 1 "00 Lime KUlxe 7 30! i 248 652 Espy 7 2.! 1 10 46 2 42, 845 Hloomsburg 715 10 ti 2 38,.... :®39 Kupert 709 10 3ti 2 31! 83;s Catawlssa 7 U3> 10 32 226 8 2* Danville fl 50 10 21 212 813 Ohulasky t>o7 Cameron 6 38 ! j«> 03 NOBTHCMBBKL'D... 626 10 00 150 550 Lv A.M. A. M. Ir. M. I'• ip.M Connections at Kupert with Philadelphia fc. KeadltiK Kailroad for Tamanend, Tamaqua, Williamsport, Sunbury, Pottsville, etc. At Northumberland with P and E. Div. P. It. K. for Harrisburg. Lock Haven, Emporium, Warren Corry, and Erie. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD. TIME TABLE In Effect h . 18th, 190- A .M ! A.M. P.M.P. M Scranton( D&H )lv \ 6 4". >v 38 2 18 H27 Plttston " " 7 08!f 1000 §2 42 452 A. M. A. M. P. M. P.M Wilkesbarre,.. IT §7 30 §lO 35 308s8 00 Plym'th Ferry '• 112 7 37T10 42 112 3 16 f6 07 Nanticoke " 748 10 ,VJ 328 0 17;]"" Mocanauua .... " 804 11 07 846 637 Wapwallopen.. " 8 13 11 16 356 647 Nescopeck ar 824 11 26 407 700 ]*"" A.M. P.M. P.M. l'ottsvllle lv 5 5 50 gl2 01 g Hazleton " 705 200 650 Tomhicken " 722 218 610 Fern Glen " 729 227 618 "" Kock Olen "| 735 ! 234 625 Nescopeck ar 800 j 300 #so]^*]] Catawlssa.. .ar 'A. M A.M P.M. P M Nescopeck lv! g 8 24 §ll 26h 4 07 ;7 00 Creasy 833 II 36[ 4 16 7 OH Espy Ferry.... " I 8 43 11 46jf 4 24 7 2d """ E. llloomsburK, "| 847 11 soi 4 291 785 ]*"" Catawlssa ar 855 11 57 435 782 Catawissa lv 855 11 57 4 35, 732 South Danville " 914 12 151 453 751 Sunbury "| 935 12 40 515 815 A.M. P.M. P. M pi. Sunbury lv| || 9 42 § 1 10;§ 5 45! sg 40 Lewisburg.... ar 10 13; 1 4">! 6 IS;' Milton " 10 OK 1 391 614 904 Williamsport.. " 11 o<> 230 7 10| 950 Lock Haven... " 11 69 3 401 807 Kcnovo "A.M. 440 9 00| Kane " 8 25 | P.M. P.M. Lock Haven..lv|il2 10 H 3 45' Bellefonte ....arj 1 05 II 444 ...... Tyrone " 2151 6 00 Phlllpsburg "I 4 Clearfield " 6 37 8 9 09 Pittsburg.... "j 655 111 30 A.M. P. M. P. M. P~M Sunbury lv 960§155j5 25 18 31 Harrlsburg.... at: 11 30 § 3 15 j 6 55j10 10 P. M. P. M. P. M. A M Philadelphia., ar $ 3 17 j! 6 23 ||lo 20 4 25 Baltimore "§3 11 600 | 9 45) 230 Washington... " § 4-10 |, 716 jjlO 55 405 A.M. P.M.! | Sunbury lv j §lO 00 § 2 031 Lfwlstown Jc. ar 11 40 350 j > Pittsburg -j 6 551)1130 i j A.M. P, M P. M. P M Harrlsburg.... lv 11 46 il 3 46 || 7 20 ! n025 P.M. A.M.AM 1-lttsburg ar 1 6 55|H 1130||| 1 50! 5 30 |P.M. P M A M A Ml Pittsburg lv j 7 lo 830|3 00 |8 001 I A.M A M P M Harrlsburg.... ar'j 1 55 || 3 40 K 9 30 | 3 lo "• AM A Mi Pittsburg lv! ! s 8 00! s ; Pill i.e wis town J:. " 7 30) 'i 3 '.O Sunbury ar ; 9 30. g 5 001 P. M. A M A M A M Washington... lv ;10 40 ill 7 50 »10 50 it> _ ' Baltimore '•Ii|ll 41 J 4 501 840 111 45 ' . . Philadelphia... " >ll 20 j 4 25;!! S 30 12 26 ]..., A. M.' A M A. M. P M Harrisburg.... lv J 3 85 j| 7 K»!jll 40« i 4 00 Sunbury arij 5 05|§ 9 36! 1 10 «640 ] P.M. | 1A MA M Pittsburg 1\ ;I2 4» 3 00 5 8 00 Clearfield "j* 4 09 | #2B]]... Phlllpsburg.. " i 4 st ; | 1 10 12 Tyrone " j 7 15 II 8 10! 12 30 Bellefonte.. ; 8 311 932 j 142']] Lock Haven ar| 930 10 30 2 43P jp. M. A M A M 1' M 1 Erie lv; J 5 35 I I Kane, "i 840 |g 600 !"!! Henovo "1 12 40 \ 0 45 10 30 "" Lock Haven.... "| 125 ' 7 :15 11 25h 300 "" IA. M. P Ml Williamsport.. "j 210|| 8 30; jl2 40 400 Milton ••! 222 919 127 : 4 -'C'f"], Lewisburg "j 905 1 15; 4 47| " Sunbury arj 310 940 165 680 ']]]] ATM. A M|P M| P M Sunbury lv J742 1 9 551 \ 2 00|j 548 Si.uth Danville"! 7 13 ;j 10 17; 2 21] 609 •••** Catawlssa "j 733 10 36 236 627 E Bloomshurg.. 7 39j 10 43 243 632 Espy Ferry...." 743f 10 4"' 112 6 38j'" Creasy " 7 s't 10 66 2A5 646 Nescopeck "| 803 11 05| 305 666 ']]] A M A Mil'. M. P M j Catawlssa lv 7 ;if>. Nescopeck lv ;11 :i5 S 1 10 ; 7 05 "" : Kock (Hen ar 526 12 01 436 731 . Fern (Hen " S Si. 12 07j 142 737 "" Tomhicken " 8 42 1 12 15 451 745 Hazleton " 902 12 3". 5 12| 806 i Pottsviiie "| 100;, 220 «30. 9 05; ! AM AMP M P M Nescopeck lv j 8 03 jll 06 j 3 05 ; 6 55 . ... Wapwallopen..ar 818 II 20 319 709 Mocanaqua .... •• 828 II 32 829 721 Nanticoke " 848 11 54 348 742 P Ml Plym'th Ferry ' 112 8 .">7 12 02; 57 f7 62 Wllksbarie ..." 906 12 10 405 800 AMP M P M P M PittstotuDA H) ar ;9 29 #l2 49 ;4 56 836 scranton " "I 10 08 118 524> 9 05 > « Weekdays. 6 Daily. 112 station. Additional Train leaves Hazleton 5.15 p. 111., Tomhicken 5.35 p. 111., Kern Glen 5.43 p.m., Hock (Hen 5.50 p. 111., arriving at Catawissa 6.2.1 |>. 111. Pullman Parlor and Sleeping Cars run on through trains between Sunbury, Williamsport and Erie, between Sunbnry and Philadelphia and Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts • burg ami the West. For further information apply to Ticket Agents | J.Ji. UUTCIIIXSOX, J. li. WOOD, Ueii'l Manager. Gen'l Pass'ri'r Ay. Shoes, Shoes Stylish! Ciiea-p ! ZReliaTole I Bicycle, Cymnasium and Tennis Shoes. THE CELEBRATED Carlisle Shoes AND THE Snag Proof Rubber Boots A SPECIALTY. A. SCHATZ, H IE!! A. Reliable TIW SHOP Por all kind of Tin Roofing, Spouting and General Job Work. Stoves, Heaters, Ranges, Furnaces, eto. PRICES THE LOWEST! QUALITY THE BEST! JOHN HIXSON NO. 116 E. FRONT BT. r 1 M S b . « « " ii 0 J I I k So i CO u W j • « * „ i < K S p r 3 -S • , CO I . Z u if I, OS •• S |! 0 S PHILADELPHIA & READING RAILWAY IN EFFECT MARCH 30, 1»01 TKAINS LEAVE DANVILLE (weekdays only) For Philadelphia 11.25 a m. For New York 11.25 a m, For Catawissa 11.25 a. m., 6.04 p. m. For Milton 7.82 a, m., 4.00 p m. For Wllliamsport 7.82 a. m., 4.00 p m. Trains for Baltimore, Washington and th« South leave Twenty-fourth and Chestnut Streets, Philadelphia, weekdays—3.23, T. 14 10.22 a. ill., 12.16, 1.33, 3.03,4.12, 5.03, 7.38, 8.26 p. m., 12.21 night. Sundays 3.23, 7.14 a. HI., 12.18 1.33, 4.12, 6.03. 7.26, M.36 p. ill. ATLANTIC CITY RAILROAD, Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street Whsif and South Street Wharf. WEEKDAYS— Express 6.00, 9.00 a. m., (Satur days only 1.00) 2.00 4.00,5.00, 7.15 p. m. Ac commodation 8.00 a. m., 5.30 p. 111. Sunday Express, 6.00. 9.00, 10.00 a, ni., 7.15 p. m. Ac commodation 8.00 a. in.. 5.00 p. 111. Leave ATLANTIC CITY IJEPOT-Week days—Express 7.35,9.00,10.15 a. 111., 2.50, 5.80, 6.00 p.m. Accommodation 8.05 a. m.,4.05 p, 111. Sundays Express—lo.ls a. m., 4.30, 5.30, 8.00 p. m. Accommodation—7.ls a. in., 4.05 p. m. Parlor cars on all express trains. LEAVE PHILADELPHIA. For CAPE MAY and OCEAN CITY -Week days—9.lsa. m., 4.15 p.m. Sundays—9.lsa.m. South St., 9.00 a. 111. Additional for Cape May—Weekdays—s.oo p. m. For SEA ISLE ClTY—Weekdays—9.ls a. m. 5.00 p. m. NEW YORK AND ATLANTIC CITY EX PRESS. Leave NEW YORK (Liberty Street) 3.40 P. M Leave ATLANTIC CITY, 8.80 A. M. Detailed time tables at ticket offices. W- O BKSLER, EDSON J WEEKS Uen. Superintendent Ueneral Agent. New Coal Y arcL! R. J. Pegg, Coal Dealer, has re moved to his new COAL YARD. OIMCE:—NO. 344 Ferry Street (near D. L- & W. R. R. Crossing ) YARD —In rear ofOffice. Robert J. Pegg, COAL DEALER. Telephone No 158
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers