Dolus Hla Best. "Yea, we're going to move," she said to the agent. "We simply can't stand It." "Have patience, madam," he urged. "Patience has ceased to be a virtue," she retorted. "We complained twice of that woman In the flat above us who pounds the piano and sings both day and night, and you said you would get her out. Instead of doing that you have calmly let the flat next to hem to a man who plays the cornet." "Bat that's part of the scheme," he protested. "We pat him there on pur pose. His Instructions are to make so much noise she can't hear herself sing. She has a lease, you know, and the only way to get her out is to discour age her."—Chicago Post. lneorriKtbl*. "Now, my son, It's time you learned something of politeness. Why Is it that I never, If I can help it, turn my back ou a lady?" "I guess, dad. It's so they won't see 1 the bald spot ou the back of your head."—Meggeudorfer Blatter. The Sewi From H*lbon«. The Whitsett Courier gives these In teresting Items from Its Bedbone cor respondent: "Elder Weekins Sundayed with us yesterday. His carbuncle is subsiding and his neck straightening. "Colonel Blotts happened to the accl- j dent of having his neck broke at 10 o'clock Tuesday. "The heads of our school children ; show that our new barber has missed j his calling. He would have made a splendid carpenter. "We have not had a funeral In our midst since Abe Jenkins made one out of his mother-in-law."—Atlanta Consti tution. Loved Her Lots. "I don't blame Miss Boxland for cut ting you," said Miss Pepprey. "Your Interest in her was purely mercenary." "Not at all," replied Mr. Forchen- Hunt. "I love her lots more than she gives me credit for."- "You're mistaken. She gives you full credit for the amount of your love for her lots."—Philadelphia Press. Once Bitten, Twice Bhr> Hotel Clerk—Will you register, sir? Mr. Wayback—Will I dew what? Clerk—Beglster; write your name In this book. Mr. Wayback—Well, I ruther guess not, young feller. I writ my name on to a paper fer a lightnin rod peddler onst, an that was enufif fer me.—Chi cago News. Crowded Out. "Have you called ou Penelope since •he got back?" "Yes, but I'll have togo again." "Why?" "She got started first in telling her •umtner experiences, and I didn't get a word in edgewise about what I'd been doing all summer." —Chicago Becord. Poor Heapeck! "Have you noticed whether the leaves are getting red yet?" asked Mr. Henpeck timidly. "These are," answered Mrs. Hen peck, calmly turning another page. Poor Henpeck! Ever since that bliss ful honeymoon his life has been this way.—lndianapolis Sun. The Important Question. "The salary of the czar of Bussia," said the leading Juvenile, "is $12,000,- 000 a year." "Yes," answered the heavy man as tie sadly shoved his hands down In his pockets, "but does he get It?" —Chicago Times-Herald. The Lnteat Catchword In London. Oh. what has become of the Cockney'* wit, Of 'Arry's sally and co«t*r'» hit, Whto this 1* the pbrasa they wear threadbare— "There'i 'airl" Bam Weller would squirm within hli grsve. And even Joe Miller would turn and rave, II they heard the modern wag declare, "There'* "airl" Each spring brings forth a new "whetie" to learn. "What hoi She bumps!" now ha* served it* turn. But lor lunacy sheer the palm will bear "There'* 'air!" "Get your 'air cut!" and "Fancy meeting you!" And "Chase me, girls!" made us laugh when new. But the latest we hear with blank despair— "There'* 'airl" Apropos of nothing, from morn till night. The parrotlike Londoner takes delight To give vent to this piece of humor rare— "There"* 'air!" If you flee on your bike, the country lout Initead of "Your wheel goes round! will *hout (What it meant he isn't the least aware), "There's 'air!" Oh, doctors, why csn't you inoculate A specific that might perchance abate Epidemics like these that wits impair— "Thsre's 'air?" Oh, can't we invsnt in thi* year of grace Borne form of address to take it* place? Thi* fatuoua catchword we well could (pare— "There's 'airl" —Punch DIAMOND DIGEST TABLETS Do Deatroy Dyspepsia and restore the bowels and liver to perfectly natural action promptly, or money refunded by any drug- ! gist. Gentlemen:— l have been taking your DIAMOND DIGEST TABLETS for two months past and am practically a well twin for the ftrit time in 10 years. Everything I ate dis tressed me, more or less, and I was all run down from lack of proper nourishment. I am eating everything that comes my way now, without the slightest inconvenience. Two tablets after a hearty meal and one after a light meal seem to thoroughly di gest everything, and I am daily gaining ffeth. My daughter commenced taking them about two weeks ago for constipstlon, and while they do not act as quickly as tome powerful cathartic, they are positive, and much more satisfactory, because they do not gripe or distress her In any way. and the relief seems to be of a permanent nature. All other medicines have left her In worse condition after taking than before. D. V. BERCTEN, 27 Boyd Ave., Jersey City. Dear 81rs:— I have taken one box of your DIAMOND DIGEST TABLETS and they are the only remedy I have ever found that stops the HEARTBURN. I enclose 50c. for another box. MRS. HENRT CUMMINQS, Pelican Rapids, Minn. Free sample package for two cent stamp. DUnaad Drag C« , 84 W. Brwtfwty, N. Y, How Will She End? 1 j Just budding into womanhood, so 1 fresh, so fair and line that we turn to watch her as she passes, she trips along the street a picture of health and beauty Among th-. passing crowd of worn and wrinkled women, looks a being from another world. Will fl. ever be like t! . Could they j '// \*' itfi " eSS > wL "I: • the majority of 7"ItS women suffer it; a | greater or Its:, de- , K ree - Tliey mi;.:':;. J { « preserve their fair- , 7=} ' ; jy "ess of face and j is i . form if they \vou!« i U V' cure the disastrous ; "~iV which | 'V 'li •fi are cured of A/ diseases by the use j V J of 1)r - I'ierce's Fa- ; IroVl vorite Prcscrip- . UJ A I, 3 tion. It stops the ; j 17 x y>.' pVil enfeebling drains, i I < heals '"iiaaiina- j v-v.-. tion and ulcera- ! % * t ' on ' cures bear- j ing-down pains, strengthens the nervous system, and restores the gen- ' eral health. It contains no opium, co- ' caine or other narcotic. " I had been a great sufferer from female ' weakness," writes Mrs. M. B. Wallace, of Mueti- I ster, Cook Co., Texas. " / tried four dot tors and \ tone did me any good. I suffered six years, tint 1 at last I found relief. I followed your advice, ' and took eight bottles of I)r. Pierce's Favorite ; Prescription and four of his 'Golden Medical i Discover}'-' I now feel like a uew woman. I \ have gained eighteen pounds." Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure bil iousness. THE YOUNG MAN'S MANNERS. Society Aaks That He Behave Well and Ilia Path Will Be Smooth. Society asks little of a young man ex ! cept to behave well. If he be manly in looks, if he lias a good manner, is civil to his elders, if he has any little gift of en tertaining—any "parlor tricks"—if he sends a few flowers occasionally, looks pleasant anil is polite, his way will be smooth to success—always providing that he is really a gentleman. He never joins her on a thoroughfare I unless the friendship be an established one and only with her permission—nor ! will he stand and converse with her. It is provincial to walk "sandwiched ' I between two women, to stare or look aft- ; er any one who has passed. In public conveyances a man does not j | pay a woman's fare unless he is her es cort, except in an emergency, when he must ssk if he may. Introductions are rarely made in public places or conveyances. A man precedes a woman when enter ing a theater or public place. In a church the lady goes first. He may precede her j a publfc staircase, but in a private j in ascending ami descending he fol- j lows. In picture galleries, elevators in public ! buildings, hotel and theater corridors, they being thoroughfares, a man retains his hat. In a hotel he removes it if worn en are present. If a lady bows to a man in a restaurant he rises slightly from his seat in ackuowl- | edgment. When he is with a party, if a lady with her escort stops to speak to his friends he rises and remains standing tin- ; til she passes ou. lie also rises if a man is introduced to him when with a stag part}-. If a bachelor shows some little hospi tality it advances him much in favor. If he has attractive rooms or has anythit.g to show he may give an afternoon tea or a chafing dish supper. Simplicity is in order. A bachelor's entertainment is usu ally regarded in the light of a frolic and his efforts indulgently considered. A bachelor may live where he likes without loss of social position, if he be long to one good club, which he may only use for the address on his cards and note paper.—Ladies' Home Journal. A Matter o' Money. The rural bridal couple stood at the depot of a little Michigan town envelop ed in a maze of congratulations, old shoes, rice and other tributes of well wishers. She was blushing like a June rose, and Si was properly abashed by the banterings of his friends. "Luk aout th' street kyars don't run over ye!" shouted one as the happy pair boarded the train. "Marthv, when ye see a crowd a-eom- In take Si's hand," suggested another. Their car was smothered in rice as the train pulled out, and on the way to De troit they continued to be the victims of good natured raillery, a matronly looking woman taking a prominent part in the badinage. "Well, there's one thing," retorted the young bride, proudly waving a roll of bills, "there's more money than you've 6een in a long time." "True," quickly responded the older woman, "but wait until you've been mar ried as long as I have, and you won't be ul'le to see that much with a telescope." Si looked at her reproachfully.—De troit Free Press. BRUIN MEETS A TRAP GUN. Farmer Shnck'a Plan Right In Theo ry, bat DangeroDs For Ilia l'iaa. The black bear of the Alleghanies is nothing if not a humorist. While his days are usually few and full of trials he makes the most of them, often to the chagrin of his lord and master, man. His appetite for young pork is often his un doing, but there are some smart bears who manage to catch a shoat or two once In awhile without coming to grief. Farmer John Shuck, who lives away back in the mountains, makes a business of raising hogs. A year or so after he started in the business all the bears with in a radius of 100 miles had heard of it. At least that is what Shuck thinks. At any rate Shuck's young pigs began to disappear at an alarming rate from an inclosure which he deemed impregnable. At first he did not understand it. Then a friend suggested beirrs. Full of the bear theory Shuck loaded a shotgun with slugs lay in wait for his enemies. Six nights he sat up with out result, and ou the seventh, when, tired almost to death, he went to bed, two of his pigs disappeared. Then he thought of a trap gun. Shuck's trap gun was an elaborate af fair, calculated to kill everything within a radius of ten miles when it went off. It was loaded with slugs to the muzzle and pointed at the open door of the sty, where, he reasoned, any sensible bear would enter. A string across the door provided the necessary exploding ar rangement. After setting the trap the first time Shuck went to bed confident of having I bear meat for breakfast. About mid | night he heard the gun go off. Rising ' hastily, he hurried to the sty and arrived just in time to see the favorite of his flock disappear, personally conducted by a large black bear. With his customary curiosity bruin had sniffed at the gun be fore he ventured into the sty. A paw caught the string near the trigger, ex ploding the trap without harm to the bear. Unfortunately the buckshot tore through the sty, killing four pigs and driving the remainder out of the sty. Bruin caught one of the fugitives as it came out and scampered off with it, car rying away a whole hide and a supper besides. Shuck abandoned the use of trap guns as bear destroyers. —Altooua (Pa.) Cor. New York Sun. Dlatlnctlon and DtlTerenee. The difference between "111" and "sick" was illustrated the other day by a Sotn erville man as follows: "When I found that I was ill, I sent for the doctor. When I got the doctor's bill, it made tae sick."—Somcrvllle Journal. HANDY DESSERTS. I 'KioniceH, a Form of Jelly Mndo With Fri'Jt Juirest aud Ge'atln. Anions sin whoh .;me summer desserts few ihii'i: arc >re ; enerally liked than th. <• which ;nsi-: princi pally of tt mixture off- it j;ices r. .1! gelatin, of which :i few examples : tt here given: Apple Sauce.— Bake 1: <■ or six large ! apples and pulp them t! rough a ma.>h i er. Dissolve an ounce of gelatin and i three or four ounces of f gar In !'_• of 1 water over the fire, adding to this a ltt tit lemon juice to acidulate it pleasant . ly, then stir it to the puree of apples | and wlun It is all cool and nearly set ■ ting whisk it till stiff with the whites 1 of two eggs previously beaten to a stiff i froth. Mold and set as before. I Banana Sponge.—Peel and pound to a smooth pulp six or more nice ripe ba ! lianas, add to them three or four I ounces of sugar, the juice of half a lem ! on. an ounce of gelatin and rather more j than l'/i pints of cold water. Stir over I the tire till it boils and the sugar and ! gelatin are all perfectly dissolved, then I lift It off the tire and leave it till nearly j set and cold, when you whisk into it i tbe stiiiiy whipped whites of two eggs | and mold as before. Peach Sponge.—lf made with fr< sh I fruit, you pulp sulllcient ripe peaches j to produce a pint of pulp and mix this | frith rather more than a pint cf strong | sugar and water sirup in which you have dissolved an oun< >• of gelatin. | When this is cold or neailv s >. whisk ' Into It the stiffly whN'kcd whites of three or more eggs and mold as before. ; Sponges can be made from almost ev- J ery kind of fruit either by utilizing the ! juice or the fruit pulp. Moreover, if preferred milk or single creaiu may be | used to dissolve the gelatin instead of water. Indeed some cooks use half the | quantity of liquid given tu dissolve the gelatin, making up the required amount with stiffly whipped fresh ' cream. In such cases, however, it is setter to lessen the quantity of gelatin considerably, say by a full third, and then not to attempt to i id the sponge, but to serve it piled up on a glass dish or In long fluted wine::!;!. a most attractive arrangement. Autumn Hutu For T i-.ijr. :<•. Among the new h; • r traveling, sport, etc.. are the foil • g I A soft French felt In:: '!i a twist of velvet round the crown, d . .ie knot SOME OF TIIE NEW HATS. of same, finished with two pairs of an gel wings and handsome paste buckle. Black felt sailor hat trimmed with a large black and white stitched bow in front and a quill. A chic lint in white felt with grace fully shaped crown and wide brim. The trimming is black silk dotted with white, arranged in a bow of very novel folds and finished with a paste ting and quills. A fiood Shampoo. About as good a shampoo as can be made is as follows, says Cynthia West over Alden in the New York Herald: Two ounces of soap, the juice of one lemon, the yolk of one egg and pint of distilled water. Put the soap and water in a saucepan and stir over the fire till the soap is melted. Beat the yolk of the egg and lemon together, pour the soap and water on it, stir briskly and when cold bottle for use. Tomato Catchup. Slice ripe tomatoes, sprinkle with salt, boil one hour and strain through a coarse sieve. To every gallon add two large onions sliced, one-half table spoonful of ginger, two cloves, one teaspoonful of white pepper and a lit tle cayenne. Boil 20 minutes after these are added and seal at ouce. Two and Two l"n«l<! 1 uiz. Beat two ounces of butter to a cream, add two ounces of sugar, two tablespoonfuls of bread crumbs, two ditto of marmalade and two eggs which have been well beaten. Line a flat dish with paste, till with the above mixture and bake. Kauliioa*M Rcliocn. Bed leather belts for golfing costume are provided with bright silver harness buckles and plain slides for the ends. The jaunty and becoming little tri eorne hat is just beginning to win the appreciation which is its due. The craze for military braiding and frogs extends to little boys' suits, Where it is most fetching. Velvet strappings, velvet "run in"in all imaginable ways and black silk cords laced around gold buttons lead in fashionable garnitures. Belts of soft silk in folds, stock fash lon, are made very deep and fasten with important buckles or in bows or rosettes with jeweled center ornament. We see something of the mousque taire sleeve, which is now adapted to the jacket and paletot as well as the corsage. With the short square bolero trimmed with gold frogs the women look like pretty travesties of the brave musketeers of the king. "What is this?" asked a pale, uyspep tic at a hotel restaurant, looking critically at the dish the waiter had brought him. "Just what you ordered, sir," replied the waiter; "breast of veal, braised." I "You quite mistake." rejoined the guest, removing with his knife and fork n hone from the meat and inspecting it. "This bone is a portion of the left tibia, near its junction with the Inner malleo lus. In other words', you have brought me a piece of the shank. Take it hack and bring what I ordered!" There wns no disputing with a man to whom any part of the anatomy of a onlf was as an of>en book, and the waiter did as he was or-!' red. —Youth's Companion. It MuKKereil Her. Tess—l hear Iva Black is not going to marry Mr Hart after all. Jess So; it has just occurred to her how awful it would be for her to sign herself "Iva Black Hart." Philadelphia Press. Bettor than a Hano, Or_.:t», or Music l'«>x, f>r it sins* and talk* as well as plays, and dun't cost as much. It !• ;in>'m< th< runs- elanyit. irunient band or orchestra —tells stories and ,-in^s —tin-old fmuiiinr hymn.- w< Has the popular; ours —it is always ready. Sro that Mr. IMi-on's si 'natnre is on every machine. Cata logues of all dealers, or NATIONAL PHONOURAPii CO., IJS fifth Ave., New York. lU> IT VUIUiSELF. Yon can tell just as well as a physician whether your kidneys are diseased or healthy. The way to do is totakea hot tie <>i '4las-- tumbler.and till it with mine. It'there i- a sediment—a powderlike substance —at the bottom after standing a day and a night there is something wromr with the kidney*. Another sure sign ot <1 isea. eis a desire Io urinate often, and still another sign is pain in the back. If urine stains linen, there is no doubt that the kidneys are aiieeted. Any a 'd all diseasi -s of the kidneys, liver, bladder and of the miliary passag > ind const i, nit ion of the bowels are cur ed 11\ L'r. David Kennedy's Favorite ' Itemed) - There is 110 question about its heiiig the best and surest medicine in the world for such troubles. It quickly relieves and cures inability to hold urine and people, young or old. who take it are not compelled to get up a number of times during the ni«;lit. l-'or putting mi tend to that scalding pain experienced in passing urine, nothing is so good as Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Itemed v. It corrects the bad efleets of whiskey and brer; is ple."«ant to the taste, ami does not se tui to be medicine at all. Dtseas s of the kidneys and the bladder often cquire the 11 eof instruments to push iack the sandy matter so the urine can "<• voided. In such cases Favorite Item •dy should be taken without further de la\ or tlie >lis, :,..t may prove fatal. It is r i lira bottle at all drug •.... it i . worth many times its If y . !d «i st Dr. David Kenne -1 .i. . .iii e ' iedy before buying to iih i- . ■" ill post oilice address to the | 1> . I ::i:edv Corporation, liond -11. 1 mention this paper. We i I iii. ! I vou a sample bottle free, Wi I : niars giving full directions - i. . I .very reader of the Mox- I ii.ru V : > \ can depend upon the genuineness . this liberal offer and all ei's 11 i 1 I Iney troubles should i ki .id v :it I.- once of it at TROUCLES OF AN USHER, j Ilis Position la n Cliurcta Xot th* Si •('(•lire It Seem*. T . I.i i in the world that one i i ... hud troubles is the church er. It looks such an easy tiling to n;» the softly shaded aisles of a • i;i;rcli. clad like Solomon in all bis : 1 ; i:i paiein leather shoes, frock coat : : i nased trousers —though per l a;;rr all Solomon didn't wear such I and showing beautiful damsels to li s in the sanctuary, that one would : it was the prince of positions. But ;. ,voun„' n:au \>ho has for some time done s work in one <«f the smart churches up town declares it's not the sinecure it looks to be. "IV iple art as particular about where they : ,i j.!::c( d in church as they are in the theater, not to be irreverent," he told a number of people the other day. "Why, nine out of ten persons that I guide catch me by the elbow and whisper directions to me all the way up the aisle. "One old lady will ask that I be care ful not to put her in a draft, a younger one wants to be put where she will see the clergyman's face at a certain angle, another must have a shaded corner, light through stained glass windows hurt ing her eyes, and still another wants me to be sure that there are kneeling cush ions and proper books in the pew to which she is shown. "One and all clamor to be taken well up front, where they can see all that goes on. At least, there's but one ex ception to this rule, and that is the young man who likes to nit near th£ door, so that he can slip out before the sermon. "Considering the fact that I had only about seven unrented pews in my aisle during the quarter and that I had 50 people to dispose of each Sunday and from 150 to 200 on church feast day# you can see that I had my troubles. "More than this, many visitors refuse to stay where an usher places them, but as soon as he disappears move into some other pew, to the indignation of its own er when he arrives- with his family and finds there's not room enough for all. In my opinion the present system of renting pews is all wrong. "Why, I'd often rather take part in a football game than pilot an Easter church crowd." And the usher sighed heavily and gazed darkly into space an if in anticipation of troubles to come.— Baltimore News. THE MISTAKE OF HIS LIFE. SnccriiM All AlonK Till One Day H« Wim Chosen Umpire. "I was sort of crowded out of poli ties," said a rtiau whose friends at one time quoted his stock as good for the presidency of the United States. "I had the theory of the game all right enough, but it was the effort to practice that gradually brought about my downfall. I lived in a community where there was a good deal of wealth and progressive culture. l'his meant social pretensions and adoption of the popular fads as they appeared. "I believed and still believe that the successful politician must be all things to all men. For this reason I professed the most profound interest in golf, statesmanship, yachting, diplomacy, baseball, music, bicycling, business, church matters, social functions, foot ball, good horses, belles, beaus, bores and everything else that any portion of the people might favor by adoption. "The plain truth is that I knew some thing less than nothing about many ot these subjects. I couldn't clearly de line the difference between a home run and a cat boat or tell whether allegro was a term used in music or happened to be the name of some new sewing machine . attachment. By looking wise and saying little I. however, managed to gain favor as a good fellow and the patron of ev erything worth patronizing. While I was at this high tide of popularity there was a match game of baseball arranged be tween two of the schools, aud just to add to the eclat of the occasion I was chosen umpire. Instead of pleading Illness or an imperative engagement for the day I was darned fool enough to accept. I wore a mask, danced around like a harlequin and proved about as amusing as one to everybody but the players. The boys became dangerously mad at my meaningless mixing of links, courts, wickets, wide®, hard sports, time allow ances and handicaps. I was ignomlui ously 'fired' at the end of the first inn ing, and when the boys make their kick 1 you have no place in politics, you know" 1 —Washington Star. lihcnmallHia nml Electricity. S> James <!rant, a medical man of i Canada, evolved the wonderful theory that rheumatism is due to an abnormal electrical storage in the human system. \ He says that for many years he has been in the habit of treating cases of supposed muscular rheumatism by the insertion of small fine steel needles, the number vary ing according to the extent of the affect ed parts, and. as a rule, the seat of pain will indicate the precise place and extent to which the needles should be used. They remain stuck into the muscles for from one to two minutes. The previous hard, tense condition approximating one of tetany relaxes, the needles are remov ed without force, and the patient is able ; at once to use the muscles. Experiments point to an abnormal storage of electric ity in the tissues. It may be stored as a result of sudden drafts and cold. When the inserted needles are touched, the ' electrical accumulation is simultaneously ' discharged, passing through the body of the operator without any serious result. ! There is almost immediate relief In luiu , bago from this treatment. CHEAP THINGS ARE COSTLY. ISlHrllnt In the Poultry llualiteaa It I'u>« to liu}' the Beat. "I wanted something cheap, and I have concluded that 1 got just what I wanted." That was the remark of a gentleman who had been trying in vain to successfully hatch chickens in a cheap incubator. The man who made the remark was a man of wealth and has made bis mark in the business world, but when it came to investing In an incubator be fell into the same error BO u.any others have fallen Into jiml bought the kind be could buy cheapest. As this gentleman related bis experi tnce with his cheap incubator to me I recalled the many opportunities ama teur poultry men have to invest In something cheap. One of the most tempting of these opportunities is found when the purchase of an Incuba tor Is contemplated. To one who has studied artificial incubation the impos sibility of success with an incubator which extends below a certain point in cheapness is apparent. An incubator to do satisfactory work must be con structed of good material, and the ma terial must bo put together in the best possible manner. If one will stop to figure out the cost of material and skilled labor, it will be found that there Is an approximate figure below which a really good incubator cannot be sold. It Is not alone in the purchase of an Incubator that the beginner makes the mistake of letting something cheap in fluence his judgment. Any one who has bad much correspondence with be ginners who are looking for eggs for hatching or fowls for breeding knows how great a figure cheapness cuts with them. The majority of such persons would much rather get three sittings of eggs at SI per sitting than one sit ting for $3, and yet, as the more expe rienced breeder knows, eggs at $1 per 1 sitting, when the object desired is j prize winning chicks, prove to be about | the costliest investment that could be j made. If the beginner resolves to buy i a pair, a trio or a pen of breeding birds, | tills same tendency to get something cheap shows itself. I remember in particular one letter I received the writer of which had evidently taken a copy of The Standard and, with that before him. had written out a descrip tion of a pair of birds which, had it been followed, would have scored 96 points each at least, and then for a closing paragraph he said: "I do not want exhibition birds; simply good breeders, and I cannot afford to pay over $2 each for them." I could have filled that man's order, but the pair of birds would have cost him S3O. I broke this to him as gently as possible, but I never heard from him again. He doubtless found some one who sent him a pair of birds worth Just about as much as he wished to pay, and he ei ther became disgusted because they did not produce winners for him or else, possessing the spirit and grit of the true fancier, he tacked about on a different course, paid fair prices for some good birds and finally attained success in the showroom. While cheap Incubators, eggs and fowls prove to be dear In the end. there Is another investment which every breeder is called upon to make and in which cheapness also proves costly to the Investor. This is in the purchase of feed. Good, sound, wholesome grain Is far cheaper in the end when the pre vailing prices are paid than damaged grain at one-third the regular price. In the vicinity in which I live great quan tities of wheat and corn are annually damaged by tire or water, and a num ber of men are engaged In the business of drying or sorting the damaged grain Into different grades and then offering it for sale. I have seen wheat sold to poultrymen that had been so badly charred that it was but little better than charcoal. Corn after having been for days in the bottom of the harbor is raised, partially dried and then offered for sale and sold, too, after it lias turn ed black from beating. Most of this damaged grain goes to feed the fowls of men who think they are getting a cheap ration, and they congratulate themselves on the imagined saving ef fected. Cheap equipment also proves to be costly in the end. Buildings should be well constructed, and good material should always be used, although there Is no necessity for adding to the cost by ornamentation.—Henry L. Allen in Featlnr. How It Seemed to Illm. Crackpot went for a row on the river with bis girl the other day, and this la how r things seemed to him in the morn ing. But after 12 be got tired, and Ills girl seemed to be a lot bigger and heavier, and the sculls, too, seemed to have in creased In weight. But, oh, the last hour! Crackpot thought be would have busted. His sculls were like lead, and as for that girl, Crackpot thought she must weigh a tou. I'urtfyliiK Acetylene. The use of acetylene for lighting dwelling rooms renders It necessary to purify the gas, and it is stated that chromic acid is the best known pur; fier, as the solution of chloride of lime Is liable to produce an explosive mix ture.—Popular Science. APtom iin<l Audiences. Courtney Just now society Las two absorbing diversions. Stiekney What are they? Courtney—Playing golf and making fun of people who play golf.—Detroit Free Press. In the Ornmnentnl C'lhsm. "That old brass lamp you brought home won't burn a little bit, Amelia." "Burn, Edgar? Who expects it to burn? That isn't a working class lamp; '•t's a curio."—lndianapolis Journal. A SURPRISE FOR PAW HE WAS TALKING TO MAW ABOUT AN OTHER WOMAN'S AGE. Aud Is Amazed Wlien. After a l.lttl# Discussion, She Grabs Her Sewing, Goes Into the House and Slams the buor. "What fools some peeple are," paw se<| when we were Having a nice sociable Time on the frunt portch TWursdy nite. "I no it," maw told him. "Sometimes it makes me feel real sad To think they are so meony peeple in the world that can't see their faults as Others see them with out thinking They are prejudist against themselves." "Look . aptun and his wife next door," puw says."l should Think they , otto no Better." "What have they Been doing?" maw ast. "I rode out in the same car with the 1 captun today," paw anserd, "and we got ; to talkin about how jellus it always makes a woman to Be told some other woman looks yung. So he told me all about it. He sed he got to plaiging his wife, telling her Mrs. Bassett doesn't look a day more Than Thirty. The eaptun's wife sed she new she Was thirty Five, an«i so they Got agoing it, and now she won't speak to him." "It makes me perfectly disgusted with some peeple," maw sed, "when I hear about the Foolish things they do. If he wasn't blind he could see his wife was rite about it.". "But what I blame him for," paw says, 'is sticking to it when he could have peace in the fambly by lettin his wife think he Thot the same as she did, becoz it wouldn't do euny harm." "And I don't see why she wanted to goon Talking about it." maw told him. when she new the woman was thurty I* ive and it didn't make enny difference whether the captun thot so or not." "Yes," paw sed, "and if I would of been him I would of let her go ahed thinkin the way she Pleased as long as j it made her happy and wouldn't make Mrs. Bassett more'n twenty-nine or Thurty enny way and mite"— "Paw," maw told him, "you're Just as sillie as the old fool of a captun About j that woman. She'll never see Thirty-six I again, and you no it." "Thirty-six?" paw says. "Maw, you're ' crazy. I'll bet she ain't thirty yet. You can see It by her Looks." "1 ou no Better than that," maw sed. "If you don't you must be as blind as o batt." "There's no use getting into a sklrrn- [ midge about It," paw anserd. "I ain't agoin to be like the captun. I no too mutch about hewmun naitcher for that. If you want to think you think she's thirty-six go ahead and Think so. It won't hurt her enny or make enny Dif ference about what I Think. So what's the use getting mad about it? I believe in Being sensable about these Things. I'd rather give up even when I no I'm rite than to have a quarl with % womun about anuther womun's aige. So if it'll do you enny good to Think she's six or seven years older Than she is go ahead and be Happy, and I won't say enny more about it. I don't beleave in Har pin on a thing when you no your breth is wasted, but I can't see why wimmin are so blame jellus of one another's aige, and what's the use ronging her be hind her back? What good would it do you if She was forty instead of twenty seven or twenty-ate? It wouldn't make you enny younger, would it? That's sumtbing I'd like to have you explane. ! If the captun would of had enny sense he would of just said all rite when his wife told him she was five or six years older than she is and dropped the sub ject like me. But that's where some people"— Then maw jumped up and grabbed her sowing and went in the house and slam med the Door as hard as she could. "Well, by George," paw sed after he looked around quick two or Three times becoz he thot he mite get hit by some thing from behind, "that's always the way when you goto Tawk filosofickle to a womun. Here I came home all tired tonight and thot we'd have a nice soshu ble time so I could Forget about Big ness cares, and that's the way it turns out. No wonder so menny men half to go way from home to get a little sun shine in their lives."—Georgie in Chicago Times-Herald. Apropos of British reports that Boers : fired on hospitals and bearing parties, Surgeon Perry of the United States marine hospital service suggests that hospital tents be indicated by mora j than the Bed Cross flag, which Is In- j distinguishable unless there is suffi cient wind to hold It out. He believes that the tents should be of green can vas or of green aud white and that uoncombatants, presumably hospital men aud surgeons, should wear red Jackets. CATARRH K:;fc»mSsr CATARRH Ely's Cream sorbed. Gives Re-rr\/PD lief at once. Opens M T I LYLII and cleanses the Nasal Passages. Allays Inflammation. Heals and Protects the Membrane. Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. No Mercury No In jurious drug. Regular Size, SO cents: Family Size. SI.OO at druggists or by mail. r I Y BROTHERS, 56 Warren Street, New York. MILLINERY STORE. * Patterson's Millinery will be continued un der the care of an ex perienced trimmer, who has just return ed from the Eastern cities, with a large stock of fall and win ter goods. The public is invited to call and examine the hats and bonnets, before pur chasing elsewhere. PATTERSON'S MILLINERY, 346 MILL STREET. Chas. L. Pettis & Co., | CASH PRODUCE BUYERS, Dressed Poultry, Uume, F : urs, Eggs and Butter. 204 DUANE STREET, NEW YORK. Write for Our Present Paying Prices. U„U.. HAILKUMI. TIME TABLE, In Effect September Ist, 1899 GOING WEST j 1 I** Ad I r r I NEW YORK. P.M. A. M. A.M. P M Ij j I Barclay St Lv.' » :JO : I 0 OO •••• Cristopher St. . Y 3IJ: i Id 00! •••• Hobokcn 945 10 16| •••• tjcrantou Ar 2 30; 1 52' SCRANTON 10 00 55! 3 36'' j., liellevue I I ...J ?FV « «I 5 J Tayiorvilie i IB IS 203 J *J- E 10 1 Lackawanna | io 23 "1° ? RTI 19 I'M }ea 10 26 218 J{ V? 614 j ELUSION ID 3 II 1? J;™ ... I Susquehanna Ave.. J 10 3; 220 Fti :J0 West Pittston :« 6 IN MI 221 * ! « ;«J , Wyoming !J0 10 14 A F IS'TT 38 Forty Fort ... i .... 4id Bennett 7 6 10 52 2 JO; 4 ,TF O'IA KINGSTON 7 1 10 st> 2 M *'L TI 47 Kingston {7 1 1.) 56: 244 TTT> OJ PlyinoutliJ.no : 7 1 *47 7 » # 5B Plymouth i 7 2 11 05 252 461 7 10 Avomiale i 7 2 1 2 ..7 *•"7 25 Nanticoke ' 7 3 11 13! 30V •••• Hunlock'F. j 7 3 11 1!)' 310 •••• Shickehinny j 7 5 11 3o| 324 •••• ; Hick's Ferry 1 HO fll 43 335 •••* Beach I'aven j8 1; 11 48 342 .... ; Herwick ' 8 1 'll 51 349 .... ! Briar Creek 112» 2 112 3 55 ....; ' Lime Ki(l<e i 8 3 fit! 09 4 04 .... Espy ! 83/ 12 15 4 H Bloomshurg I 8 4 12 22 417 ....1 I liupert : 8 £.O 12 27 4 TFFL ! ! Cat-awlssa 868 12 32 429 ....! ! Danville 1 !» 10 12 47 442 ....| 1 Chulasky J ....i 4 49 ....J Jimeron ;9 2J 12 57 464 .... 846 ! NOKTHCMBKBLAND 935 110 608 ....J» 00 Ar. M. P. M. P. M. KM GOING EAST. STATIOSS. PIS PAB.! PAB. i PAB. PAB ! ; NKW Y'JIK FI in: P- A - M ••in. jam 1 Barclay St, Ar. 330 500 8 40 Christopher St.. . 3no 4 65 635 Hoboken 2 47! 448 8 - 6 Scranton 10 05 12 55 1 *0 I a.m. P-m. daily P.M A.M.! P. 1. P. U. F. K. <lly Scranton 942 12 35 456 5359 U7 Bellevue 93* 460 6309 02 Tayiorvilie 933 445 J 2 I.?I j Lackawanna 9 20 437 L I Duryea • 3 23J 4 34 5 848 Pittston 9LY 12 17 429 5 844 ! Susquehanna Ave.. 915 12 14 424 6 |8 3o West Pittston ... «'2 . I 421 ® ! Wyoming 90* 12 Ohj 410 59 822 j Forty Fort 903 I 410 4 828 Bennett 900 j 4 00 4 Kingston, 857 12 02 4 01 4 A ,8 21 Kingston 855 12 00 402 4 -J® JO : Plymouth Junction 850 3 5-' 44 ® ° Plymouth... 845 U 621 361 Avondale 8 40; | 3 4t>! !?^J Nanticoke B£s 11 45 342 ••» Hunlock'S 8 27F J 334 '4O Shickshinny 8 18. 11 30 324 ,] « Hick's Ferry 8 04! 3 13 ' -F Beaeh Havon 7 53 | 307 1 Berwick 1 45 11 04; 3JI I}?'. Briar Creek 7 >BJ | I Lime Hlilge 7 30! 2 48 ®** Espy 723 10 46 242 8 Bloomsburg 7 15: 10 41 236 8 Kupert 7 0«! 10 3l> 2 31! » Catawissa 703 10 32 226 8 Danville 850 10 21 212 8 Chulasky i ! o , u ' Cameron 6 38 1 I £l® NOBTHUMBBKL'D... 626 10 00 150 LV A.M.! A.M. IP.*. L P . M - P.M Connections at Rupert with Philadelphia & Beading Railroad for TamaneDd, Tamaqua. Williamstort, Sunbury, Pottsville, etc. At Northumberland with P and E. Div. P. It. K. for Harrisburg. Lock Haven, Emporium, Warren Corry, and Erie. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD, TIME TABLE In Effect May 28th, 1900. AM A.M.. PM.P.MI Scmnton(B&H)lv G 6 4". ;9 38 218|4 27 Pittston " " 708 fio 00 §2 12 452 A. M. A7M. P. M. P.M Wilkesbarre,.. lv S 7 30§10 53;8 308«8 00 I'lym'th Ferry '• 112 7 38f1i02 1 3 16 F8 07 Nanticoke 746 11 10 326 6 17 Mocanaqua .... " 804 II 32, Cl 6 637 Wapwallopen. . " 8 13 11 42 350 647 Nescopeck ar 824 11 52! 4077 00 —— - —— pM I'ottsville lv § 5 50 ?12 30 § Hazleton " 705 200 550 Tomhicken " 722 218 810 Fern Glen " 7 2T» 227 618 Kock 'Men "I 735 234 «2A Nepcopeck .... ar 8(K 800 650 t'atawissa.. .ar IT* A.M (P.M. P M Nescopeck lv § 8 24 §ll 52 | 4 07 27 00 Creasy " 833 12 02 410 709 ! Espy Ferry.... " I 8 43 12 10 112 4 24 " »» '. IE. Bloomsburg, " 847 12 14, 4 29j 725 Catiiwissa ar 855 12 21! 4 3O| 732 Catawissa lv 856 12 21 4 :15| 732 South Danville '• 914 12 38 453 751 Sunbury " 935 100 ; 515 815 _ A.M. P.M. P. M P.M. Sunbury lv || 9 42 § 1 10 § 5 45 JJB 40 Lewisburg.... ar 10 13 145 6 18| Wilton " LO 08 139 614 904 Williamsport.. " 11 00 230 7 10' 950 Lock Haven... " 11 69 340 8 07J Kenovo " A.M. 440 900 Kane..... " 8 25 | IP.M. P.M.I Lock Haven. .lv JL2 10 S 3 45' . . Bellefonte ....ar 10511 444 Tyrone " 2151 000 Plillipsburg " 423G 826 Clearfield.... " 607 909 Pittsburg.... " 055 111 30 _ X. IVT P. M. P. M. P M Sunbury lv !; 95051 1 55J 5 25;88 31 ...... Harrisburg.... ar 111 30§ 3 15 1 t> 55j 10 10 P. M. P. M. P. M. A M| t hi'.ailelpbla.. ar!§ 317 it 623 ||lo 201 ; ; 4 25 Baltimore " § 3 11 I| 6 00 j 9 45; 2 30j Washington... "j§ 4 101, 7 15 JLO 55| 4 (6| F, M. l Sunbury lv §957 J§ WJ I Lewistown JE. ar 1140; 3 FIO| Pittsburg •'( 6 s.">;§H3O ! | A.M. P, MP. M. i ,_ M ' Harrisburg.... lv 11 45 I! 3 45 || 7 20.5:1020' P.M.; A.M.AM Uttsburg ar | 0 5. R > II 1130||| 1 50| 5 30] P. M. P M A M A M Pitthburg lv J 7 10 | 8 30, J 2 50 18 00 . A.M AM P M Hartiiburg.... ar I 1 55 j 3 4IT | 9 10 J 3 10 Pittsbuig lv I 8 JO P M JJ. JJ. G 7 30 J 3 !0 Sunbury ar Y 9 20 2 6 00 P.M. AM A M AM Washington... lviflO 40 -\\ 7 45 1! 10 50 Baltimore ' 11 41 |4 50 84. ill 45 Philadelphia... " nil 20 J 4 3S| J 8 10 612 26 iA. M A M A. M. P M Barrisburg.... lv ! 3 35 I 7 55 JLL 40 I 4 00 Sunbury ar jsosj 936 110E 640 P.M. A MAM Pittsburg lv |l2 45 j 2 60 IF 8 00 Clearfield " 409 928 Pblllpsburg.. " 450 10 12 Tyrone " 715 18 10 12 30 Bellefonte.. " 831 832 1 42i Look Haven ar 930 10 30 2 43J P. M. A M A M P M Erie lv | 4 30 Kane, " 755 £G 00 . Benovo " 11 15 \ 0 40 10 30 .... Lock Haven.... " 12 03 733 11 251(3 00'... A.M. P M Williamsport.. " 106i| 8 Milton •' 1R« 9 19; 127 4 :I2 "... Lewisburg " 9 0."> I 1 15 447 .... Sunbury ar 227 9 40j 165 520 ;ITM! A MJP M PM Sunbury lv G 6 50 | 9 55 5 2 00 J 5 48 South L>anville ' * 7 13 J| TO 17 221 809 Catawissa " 7 3;i 10 35 230 6 27" E Bloomsburg.. " 7 39| 10 43 2 43, 632 Espy Ferry...." 743 fio 47 f6 36 Creasy " 7 S;J 10 68 255 6 46;'"" Nescopeck " 803 11 ol| 305 • "F"" ,'TM A Mj P. M. P M j Catawissa lv 7 38: Nescopeck lv GL 155 I! 4 10\ 7 05, Kock (Hen ar 8 26! 12 21 430 7 31; ; Fern Glen " 8 Si, 12 27| 442 737 Tomhicken " 842 12 351 4 511 145 Hazleton " 902 12 66] 512 805 1 Poltsville " 11 30 , 2 08 ; 6 30 j 905 T": A M A M P M P ML -1 Nescopeck lv \'t M H 03'#11 05'1 305J 655 Wapwallopen..ar 818 11 20 3 19! 709 ; Mocanaqua.... 8 28| 11 32 329 721 Nanticoke " 8 48' 11 64 348 742 j P M I'lym'th Ferry" 112 12 02 357 F7 52 Wilksbarre ..." 905 12 10 405 800 AM P M P M P M Pittston* PAH) ar I 9 1112 49 \4 52 836 Scranton " "1 10 08; 1 18; 520? 905 I Weekdays. I Daily. 112 Flag station. Additional Train leaves Hazleton 5.15 p. in., Tomhicken 5.35 p.m., Fern Glen 5.43 p. in., Kock Glen 5.50 p.m., arriving at Catawissa | 6.25 p. m. Pullman Parlor and Sleeping Cars run on through trains between Sunbury, Williamsport and Erie, between Sunbnry and Philadelphia ! nnd Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts burg and the West For lurther information apply to Ticket Agents / Ji. UUT CHINS ON, J. R. WOOD, Uen'l Manager. Qen'l I'ast'n'r Ag. \ New Coal Yard! R J- C° al Dealer, has re moved to his new COAL YARD. OFFICE: —No. 344 Ferry Street (near D. L- & W. R. R- Crossing ) YARD —In rear of Office. Robert J. Pegg, COAL DEADER. Telephone No. 158- PHILADELPHIA & READING RAILWAY IN EFFECT OCT. 15, 1900. TKAINS LEAVE DANVILLE (weekdays only) Fcr Philadelphia 11.85 a m. For New York 11.25 a in, For Catawissa 11.25 a. m„ 6.04 p. m. For Milton 7.42 a. m„ 4.00 p m. For Williamsport 7.42 a. m., 4.00 p m. Trains for Baltimore, Washington and tbe South leave Twenty-fourth and Chestnut Streets, Philadelphia, weekdays—3.23, 7.14 10.22 a. in., 12.16, 1.33, 3.03,1.12, 5.03, 7.26, 8.26 p. in., 12 21 nisrht. Sundays 3.23, 7.14 a. m., 12.16, 1.33, 4.12, 6.03. 7.36, 8.26 p. IE. ATLANTIC CITY RAILROAD. Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street Wharf and South Street Wharf. WEEKDAYS—Express 9.00 A. M., 2.00, 4.00, 5.00, 7.15 P. M. Accommodations *.OO A.M., 5.30 P. M. Sundays- Express 9.00, 10.00 A. M. Accommodation 8.00 A. M , 5.00 P. M. Leave ATLANTICCITY-Weekdavs—Express 7.3 >, 9.00. 10.15 A. M. 2.50, 5.30, P. M. Accom modations 8.05, A. M , 4.05 P. M. Sundays —Express—4,3o. 7.30 P. M. Accommodation 7.15 A. M., 4.05 P. ii. Parlor canon all express trains. For CAPE MAY -Weekdays- 9.15 a. m.. 4.15, 5.00 pin. Sundays—9.ls am. For OCEAN ClTY—Weekdays—9.ls a. m., 4.15 p m. Sundays—9.ls a. m. For SEA ISLE ClTY—Weekdays—9.ls a. m. 5.00 p. m. NEW YORK AND ATLANTIC CITY EXPRESS. NEW YORK (Liberty Street) 3.40 P. M Leave ATLANTIC CITY, 8.30 A. M. Detailed time tables at ticket offices. W.G.BESLER, EDSON J WEEKS Gen. Superintendent General Agent JOHN "W". PAEN S"WOETH INSURANCE Life Fire Acciilest and Steal Boiler Office: Montgomery Budding, Mill Street, Danville, - - Penn'a li'? • . • • it.m i.tiv n.r.\- Where ail others fall, CDugho, Croup, Sorv. Thicct, Hoarseness, Whoof icf Csugh ani Asthma. For Consumption it has no rival; has cured thousands, and will CL'RB TOD if takes in time. Sold by Druggists on a guar antee. For a Lame Back or Oh®et, tisa BHILOH'S BELLADONNA PLASXERJioC, H HI LP H'g/IkCATAR R H R E M E DY, iTave you Cutarrti ? This reme<ly Isguaren, teed to cure you. Price. W eta. Injector Iroa. Pi ChlchMter'i Ea*tbk INwi Bim4 ' EHNYROYAL PILLS JKV Orlciial mmd Oalj Owalie. A iTvA •***. ilvip rHiablo. uDict ul Af\ fcMM DraifiM far Chick—tar • Bnfluk Din JW\± L*LBrand in Re 4 ud Veld iriJtd with blao ribbon. Take M V/Jn« otkrr. Btfua* domgrrov* ▼ I/ A/ho*M and At DrogfUti, or umA 4% I W -w In ftarapc foe p*rtl«alare, t*«tiinoaUl* ul \e* £3 •« Relief fi»r Ladle*," "* UfUr. by r«tui v «—■ / A 1 All nruffirt®. Cklrlieater Cfcemleal ©a«» *IOO HadlMß Biuret I*lll LAD A., PA. Red I Sappremd fx Menstruation Or OSS PAINFUL T- MMlf Monstruafion I RnSV And • PREVENTIVB lor ■ T FZMALE ■-I ■| | m IRREGULARITIES W& 111 Are Safe and Reliable. 1 '* I far^PerfecMj^Hjrmless The Ladies'6*;ph. PRICESI.OO Sent postpaid on receipt ol price. Money refunded it not aa Yin de Cinchona Co. DM Moiues, lowa.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers