SOMERSET BUS COMPANY SCHEDULES i ! Somerset and Johnstown Schedule Effective March 10, 1929 MOUNTAIN STAGES AM |AM. | PM. PM. PM |PM | PM AM. | AM. |PM. | PM | PM | PM | PM SCHEDULE 7:30 9:15 1:00 2:30 4:15 6:00 9:00 |Lv. Somerset 4 8:45 | 10:30 | 2:15 3:35 5:30 7:15 | 10:45 7:45 9:30 1:15 2:45 4:30 6:15 9:15 |Lv. Sipesville 25} 30 10:15 | 3:00 2 Ses FSi 10:30 7:50 9:35 1:20 2:50 4:35 6:20 9:20 |Lv -- Gray Ar :25 | 10:10 : : : 5 : 3 | 8:00 | 9:45 | 1:30 | 3:00 | 4:45 | 6:30 : Jennerstown ___A#.| 8:15 | 10:00 | 1:45 | 3:05 | 5:00 §u48 39:05 Pittsburgh, Johnstown, Somerset, Cumberland, i 8:05 9:50 1:35 3:05 4:50 6.:35 85 WV... Glessner .._._.._ Ar.| 8:10 9:55 1:40 3:00 4:55 :40 : 3 i n, D.C 8:15 10:00 | 1:45 | 3:15 | 5:00 | 6:45 | 9:45 |Lv.___ Thos. Mills ___Ar.[ 8:00 | 9:45 | 1:30 | 2:80 | 4:45 | 6:30 10:00 Baltimore, Washington, C | 8:45 | 10:30 | 2:15 | 3:45 | 5:30 | 7:15 | 10:15 |Ar.____ Johnstown ____Lv.| 7:30 | 9:15 | 1:00 : 3: : : AM. [PM P.M. | P.M. | § 7:30 | 1:00 |[Lv.___ Pittsburgh ___Ar.| 6:30 | 11:30 Jeunerstofn and Boswell Schedule | I i ay a 6:15 | 11:15 AM |AM | PM |PM. |{PMIPM| PM | PM. M.|AM. |PM. |PM|PM |PM | PM. | P.M is 128 Wilkjnshury =A gis 3193 8:15] 10:00 | 1:45 | 3:05 | 5.00 GE | 0:30 [10715 Tv. Jonnerstiown —_Ar] 5:00] 04s | 1@0| 8:00] 4:45] 0:30 | 9:30 | 10:15 ai 2M Ivor te ar Se fry 8:20 | 10:05 1:50 3:10 5:05 6:50 89:35 | 10:20 (Iv... Jenners ce Ar.] 7:58 9:40 1:25 2:55 4:40 6:25 9:25 1900 9:30 en eee TE a : 4.30 9:30 8:25 | 10:10 1:55 3:15 5:10 6:55 9:40 | 10:25 |Lv.... Jenners H. _-__Ar.| 7:50 | 9:35 1:20 2:50 4:35 6:20 9:20 10: 10:00 | 3:30 {Lv Jennerstown Ar.| 4:00 9:00 8:26 | 10:11 1:56 3:16 5:11 | 6:56 9:41 10:26 (Lv... Ferrelton ____Ar.| 7:49 | 9:34 1:19 2:49 4:34 6:19 oils 10:04 9:15 | 2:20 {iv an iar] 5:30 | 10415 8:30 | 10:15 | 2:00 3:20 5:15 7:00 9:45 | 10:30 JAr.-c_-_¢ swell oo Lv. 7:45 | 9:30 1:15 2:45 4:30 6:15 9:15 : 10:30 | 4% _—__ Somerset --—-Ar.| 3:30 8:30 10:50 | 4:2 Berlin _____ Ar.| 3:10 | 8:10 ! Somerset, Meyersdale and Salisbury Schedule 11:00 4: " ‘Garrett Ar.l 3:00 8:00 11:10 4: _ Meyersdale ___Ar.| 2:50 7:50 AM. |AM. | PM. | PM | PM. AM." AM. | PM. | PM. | P.M. apt 1 4:5 i bury wee RB 2/40 Ly %30 7 9:5] 1:00 4:15 | 7:30 Somerset 8:45 | 10:30 | 2:15 | "5:30 | 7:15 11:3 5: v State Line .....Ar.J 2:30 qa 8:00 9:45 1:30 4:45 8:00 EA o 8:15 10:00 1:45 5:00 6:45 12:05 5: Lv Frostburg -._._Ar.| 1 i $158 8:20 | 10:05 1:50 5:05 8:20 _- Garrett _ 7:55 9:40 1:25 4:40 6:25 12:30 6:00 |Ar.___ Ginbe}and =x=1¥, Ly oo 8:30 | 10:15 2:00 5:15 8:30 - MeYoadale - 7:45 9:30 1:15 4:30 6:15 1:00 6:30 |Lv..__ Cumberland ___Ar. : 8 50 8:42 | 10:27 1 2:12 | 5:27 | 8:42 Boynton __ 7:33 | 9:18 | 1:03 | 4:18 | 6:03 4:00 9:15 |Lv.___ Hagerstown ___Ar.| 10:15 | 3.8 8:45 | 10:30 211 5:30 8:45 ~ Salisbury 7:30 9:15 1:00 4:15 6:00 5:00 | 10:15 Lv... Frederick oat 9:15 2:18 *8:45 *3:45 Salisbury ____Ar. *9:15 *4:15 6:45 | 11:45 |Ar.____ Baltimore ____Lv.| 7:30 | 12:3 9:00 | 4:00 Springs Lv.| 9:00 4:00 6:45 | 11:45 |Ar.__. Washington ___Lv.| 7:30 | 12:30 * School Days Only. Read Down Read Up Somerset, Jones Mill, Mt. Pleasant Somerset, Ligonier and Pittsburgh 4 AM. | PM. | P.M. | | AM. | AM. | P.M. AM. | PM. | + LAM. | ra | La 7:15 1:00] 4:00 Lv. Somerset ____Ar. | 8:35 | 10:40 5:40 6:45 3:30 Ly fm——————— Somers —————— ar Hol ae 3 7:25 | 1:10 | 4:10 |Lv.___ Lavansville ___Ar.| 8:25 | 10:30 | 5:30 7:05 | 3:50 Hn - Jo =? el Sas) ties 7:35 | 1:20 | 4:20 |Lv..__ Bakersville ___Ar.| 8:15 | 10:20 | 5:20 7:10 3:55 |Liveeoooo om y crec=ne-r A lay ih 8:00 1:45 4:45 |Liv.___ Jones Mills ___Ar.[ 7:50 9:55 4:55 3 4:00 |Lv..-= Jsnnersiown iil Ar i $128 2:2 = 8:10 1:55 | 4:55 _. Donegal ____Ar.| 7:40 | 9:45 | 4:45 8:00 | 4:40 |Ar.___ Tr Vl to 4:10 | *4:40 8:30 2:15 5:15 ~-- laurelville ___Ar.: 7:20 9:25 4:25 39:45 | 16:42 |Lve— Piirgpurgn AR) Lv.| $8:00 | § : 8:40 | 2:25 5:25 [Ar. -- Mt. Pleasant ._Lv.| 7:10 9:15 4:15 \ . d Sunday only No bus between Somerset and Jones Mills RE FECEPE leave q de ay and Sunday. Jones Mills at 9:55 A. M ave Somerset 1:00 P. + Daily. Jones Mills and Indianhead Central City, Stoyestown, Somerset and Rockwood Schedule AM. |AM. | PM | PM. AM. |[AM.| PM | PM. AM. |PM. | PM. | : : ie + Ee | ru | ry 7:25 9:30 1:20 4:20 |Lv.___ Indian Head _-__Ar.| 8:25 | 10:20 2:10 5:20 7:00 1 10:30 3:10 eniso) itv Ar : 5 : B73 7:28 9:33 1:23 4:23 J 8:22 { 10:17 2:07 5:17 7:10 10:40 8:20 Lv... Reels _._.__.. Ar. 23 1 $i et 181 9:36 1:26 4:26 8:19 1 10g14 2:04 5:14 7:30 11:00 8:40 awh Sr, 9:3 : : 7:32 9:37 1:27 4:27 8:18 | 10:13 2:03 5:13 7:40 | 11:10 3:50 - Friedens ...._ Ar.] 9:25 1:10 5:40 7:34 9:39 1:29 4:29 8:16 | 10:11 2:06 | 5:11 7:50 | 11:20 4:00 Somerset -___Lv.| 9:15 1:00 5:30 7:41 9:46 1:36 4:36 —— 8:09 | 10:04 1:54 5:04 7:50 | 11:20 4:00 Somerset ____Ar.| 8:50 12:20 5:10 7:45 9:50 1:40 4:40 Co. Line ____Ar.| 8:05 | 10:00 1:50 | 5:00 8:10 | 11:40 4:20 Lv... Centerville ____Ar 8:30 12:00 4:50 7:50 9:55 1:45 4:45 x —-— Jones Mills ~ Ln. 8200 9:55 1:45 4:55 8:20 | 11:50 4:30 jAr..- Rockwood .____Lv.| 8:20 | 11:50 4:40 & New Auto Bus Schedule from Somerset is-9:15 a. m.; 1:00 and COAL RUN ITEMS GLADE CITY tor, Professor Roemer when he ar- 5:30 p. m. Became Effective Monday Improved Service Between Johns- town, Meyersdale, Central City, Boswell and Somerset. Effective Monday the Somerset Bus Company has made a number of changes in its schedules, each of which will im- prove the service. The company aso announces that an additional bus to Bal- timore and Washington has been added. The new Johnstown-Somerset schedule is as follows: Leave Johnstown for Somerset—7:30, 9:15 a. m.; 1:00, 2:20, 4:15, 6:00 and 9:30 p. m. All busses make connections at Jen- nertown for Boswell bus. Leave Somerset for Johnstown—7:30, 9:15 a. m.; 1:00, 2:30, 4:15, 6:00 and 9:00 p. m. From Somerset for Meyersdale, busses leave at 7:30 apd 9:15 a. m. and 1:00, 4:15 and 7:30 p. From Sar for a and 11:20 a. m. and 4:00 p. The Central Cit Smeiron schedule Jones Mills and Mt. Pleasant busses leave Somerset at 7:15 a. m.; 1:00 and 4:00 p. m., daily excepting Sunday. it is announced, also, that special rates on round trip tickets can be ob- tained from all local ticket agents. MAPLE GLEN Mrs. Elmer Enos went to visit her home at Unamis this past Sunday. Mr. H. J. Engle and crew is work- ing every day sawing and cutting logs when weather permits. Our community went without mail two days last week due to read con- ditions being so bad. The Durst brothers have quit haul- ing mine Props, they expect to start hauling again as soon as the roads open up. Mr. Elmer Enos was’ hauling logs to H. J. Engle’s mill to be sawed. He expects to build a new spring house as soon as the weather opens up. “You've never seen anything like i The BiggestThing That Ever Happened IW agg %; A ¥ Ho 3 $ S = : On Stage or Screen Universals New Massive Production Cost $2,000,000—took 2 years to make. For the first time you can see it in all it’s glory—as written 75 years ago. A Screen Miracle two years in the making. A picture no human eye can behold with- out the heart being touched—DON’T MISS THIS! Bring All the Family Pascoe Theatre Wednesday and Thursday, March 20-21 School Show Wednesday at 4:10 Admission School Show, 15-25-50c Nights, 25-50c IR TERI | Sunday afternoon with Mr. Mr. and Mrs. Hillary Wahl and fam- ily, Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Fisher and baby Helen, spent Sunday evening with Mr. and Mrs. Charles Wahl. Mrs. Harry Bluebaugh and- children spent Friday evening with Mr. and Mrs. Charles Wahl. Roy Hinebaugh was a caller on Al- bert Howell on Monday evening. Mrs. Andrew Hotchkiss and children spent Sunday with her father, Mr. Hinebaugh. Mrs. James Walker spent Sunday evening with Mrs. Harry Bluebaugh. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Wahl and fam- ily spent Tuesday evening with Mrs. F. Nolte. Grace Walker spent Sunday with Mamie Stevanus. Harry Sheets was a caller on George Fisher on Tuesday evening. Edna Nolte was a caller on Mrs. John Bodes on Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Wahl were in Somerset on Monday. Pauline: Walker was a caller on Mrs. Geo. Fisher on Friday evening. Mr. and Mrs. George May were call- ed, on Saturday, to the bedside of their grand daughter, Madge Hare, who is a patient in the Johnstown Hospital. Mr. Ray Wahl of Cumberland and Ethel Pritts of Salisbury, spent Sunday afternoon with Mr. and Mrs Charles ‘Wahl. Mrs. F. F. Nolte and daughter, Edna, and grand daughter, Doris, and Mrs. Harry Bluebaugh and family spent and Mrs. George Fisher. Mr. and Mrs. Ed. Fisher spent Sun- day evening with Mr. Ira Stevanus. Roy Hinebaugh spent Sunday morn- ing with Samuel Engle. Mrs. Clarence Showalter is spending a few days at Kelso. Mrs. Hartland is keeping house for Mrs. Showalter while she is gone. Mrs. Harry Bluebaugh and family, Mrs. Geo. Fisher and baby Helen, spent Saturday evening with Mrs. James Walker. NORTHAMPTON NEWS MARCH 11.—There will be preach- ing service at Mt. Olivet church March 23rd in the evening and on the 24th in the morning, at which time Sunday School officers will be elected. Everybody come. Walter Spaugy, Samuel Bauman, Robert and Mrs. John Hittie, Harvey and Leroy Smith, Harry Saylor, Har- vey and Roy Poorbaugh, Jubal Wer- ner, Harvey Meyers and Samuel Poorbaugh were business visitors at Somerset on Monday. A very pleasant surprise was ten- dered Benjamin Keefer last Saturday evening on his 63rd birthday by a jolly crowd of merry makers of this place. The evening was spent in playing games and eating dainties. The merry makers returned home at a late hour. Herbert Laughery returned home last Saturday morning from his trip! to Preston, Md., to which place he and Newton Cook took a truck load of | household goods for Joe Callis. He! said they had quite a trial of the trip but got there safe. The Callis fam- ily also arrived with much trouble. Mr. Laughery says he left everybody in good cheer. Newton Cook expects to stay in Maryland for some time, ed relatives at this place over Sun- day. Adaline Werner was a shopper at Berlin on Monday. Blanch France and Ida Keefer were shoppers at Meyersdale on Mon- day. Some of the sugar camps are steaming and that is a sign that the syrup will soon be ripe. Since the red caterpillar mustache gone, weather will be next. MOLLIE ANN is Henry Bittner of Meyersdale visit- |, no one can tell what the | Mr. Harry Hutzell of of Fairmont, W. Va., spent ‘Saturday and Sunday with his brother, J. F. Hutzell. © Ray Hutzell, Cal and Milt Leazier were transacting business in Meyersdale last Thursday. Mrs. Charles Leazier was visiting her daughter, Mrs. James Hutzell. J. F. Hutzell was transacting business in Meyersdale last Friday. Mr. and Mrs Ray Hutzell were call- ers at the home of J. F. Hutzell Satur- day. Mrs. Joe Long was visiting Mrs. John Hutzell one day last week. Miss Mary Emerick was visiting Mr. and Mrs. J. F. Hutzell over Sunday. Joe Long was visiting Mr. and Mrs. Ray Hutzell on Sunday. Visitors" at the home of Ray Hutzell’s Sunday were: Mr. and Mrs. J. F. Hut- zell. and two sons, Leonard and Floyd, Mary Emerick, Harry’ Hutzell, Cal ‘and Milt Leazier. Mrs. John Hutzell lost a fine horse one day last weels GRAVEL | HILL Spring time is’ epvmem i The robin red breast has thade his appearance. Mr. John Gearhart is ‘busy hauling logs to his saw mill. Mr. and Mrs. Joe Bittner and daugh- ter, Grace, were Sunday visitors at James Thomas’. Mr. and Mrs. George Gray were called to Zimmerman to see Mrs. Char- les Bittner who was very sick. Mae Koontz of Meyersdale, her cousin, Erma Miller, Sunday. Mrs. Etta Hutzell of Meyersdale, was a visitor at D. C. Meyers’, last week. Mr. Simon Hutzell is making his home with his sister, Mrs. D. C. Meyers, at present. ¥ 3 Mr. and Mrs. William Thomas and son, Willie, spent Sunday ‘afternoon at J. W. Miller’s. Mr. William Koontz was a business visitor in Meyersdale last Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. Sylvester Koontz and family from Meyersdale, spent Sunday with Mrs. J. H. Miller. Mr. George Beal, of Dunbar, Pa, Mr. and Mrs John Troust and Miss Leona Bates of Connellsville were vis- itors at J. W. Miller's, on Sunday. SOMERSET CHORAL SOCIETY A ‘record attendance of the Somer- set Choral Society greeted the Direc- visited rived for rehearsal on Monday night: The two new choruses, tried for the first time at this meeting proved most tuneful and very popular. But speaking of Directors, perhaps it would prove interesting to relate that Professor Roemer is at the present time directing the following Clubs in Johnstown: The Treble Cleff Club, The Harmony Singing Society, The Rodoljub Croatian Singing Society in which all the singing is done in the Croatian language, and the Concordia Singing Society of Altoona. Also recently a Symphony Orchestra has been started in Johnstown of which Professor Roemer is the Conductor. Now speaking of Directors again, in the ranks, modestly among the tenors of the ‘Somerset Choral So- ciety is a man well known musically and officially to this community—Mr. | Don M. Kimmel. Musically, Mr. Kimmel is internationally known as it will be remembered that he was the Conductor of the famous 110th Regiment Band in France. At the present time Mr. Kimmel is the Con- ductor of the Shriner’s Band in Al- toona and the Somerset Orchestra Association. And so in the ranks of the Somerset Choral Society conduct- ed by Professor Roemer is another member of note. Meeting next Monday evening at the regular time and place. N. E. Miller & Son Spring Opening N. E. Miller & Son will have their spring opening on Saturday, March 16, 1929. Do not fail to attend the opening as their is a surprise in store for you. All the latest styles in cor- rect wear will be on display in their various departments. Each lady at- tending the opening will receive a car- nation. ENTERTAINED AID SOCIETY The aid society of the Catholic church was entertained at the home of Miss Elizabeth Darrah, Meyers| avenue, Tuesday evening of the past week. Business was transacted, at which time arrangements were made to hold a delicatessen sale in the win- dow of the J. F. Reich furniture store, Saturday, March 30th. A lunch was served later by the hostess. SUBSCRIBE FOR COMMERCIAL y € at both of Joseph Spatara’s Stores ON CENTER STREET Bananas. 25¢ to 30c doz. | Grape Fruit... . do 2 y. | —4 for 25¢ and 3 for 25¢ AS ire 10 T0e dor. ntees. . o- 20c per Ib. Lomons 30c a doz Sweet Poinives 3 Ibs. 25¢ = *| Spinach... 2 Ibs. for 25¢ 20c a 1b.} Cabbage... ca New Cabbage... . 15¢ per 1b. | Sardines... 5¢ a can Celery Hearts.3 bunc’s 15¢ OTHER ARTICLES FOR SALE— Mushrooms, Cauliflower, Carrots, Parsnips and Turnips Radishes, Spring ‘Onions, Parsley Prunes, 10c per lb. We have Bread, Bread for sale—Mrs. W. L. Dahl's and New Meyersdale Bakery 2 loaves for 15¢ Any one having $5.00 worth of merchandise coupons, will please present them on or before Saturday, March 16th, as this offer will be discontinued. : 7 JOSEPH SPATARO’S TWO STORES ) CENTER STREET 1 MEYERSDALE, PA. 3 . A "0 > . “Maybe 80,” the girl answered | lightly. “But this I know. I am going West to the mountains. I am going | ing she would be glad to forget this C099 000 CELLO VOSS OEY She Was Hunting a Hero 2.0.0.0,0.0.9.9.9.9. 20000000 By AD SCHUSTER COC 0000009000. 90990,0,000,060990.9 (Copyright.) ¢¢] HAVE no objection to your be- ing athletic and independent,” Caroline’s mother spoke slowly, “but doesn’t it strike you that you are in- tolerant of those who have other tastes?” to see big strong men who fear noth- ing and who are of a different breed than those I have known. I am going to escape from the sissies and the highbrows and when I come back I —well, maybe I will have entirely re- formed.” Caroline, in the mountain cabin, waited for the hero of the open spaces and the first man she saw, other than old Abe Potter, who with his wife owned the retreat, was Le- roy Boone. Boone was tall and slen- der. He wore nose glasses and spoke in a low voice. Except for his woods- man’s clothes he looked like a college man. Caroline was disappointed and vet Leroy was the only man within sight.” “I have been waiting to meet a man of the West,” she said, giving him one of her best smiles. “I want to learn all about the customs and people.” “It is probable you will find us much like the men of any other place.” He was amused at her en- thusiasm. “You don’t understand. I from a little town in the East. T am vigorous and independent, in a place where girls are quiet and ladylike and men are studious and timid. I wish to forget books and science, and live with ‘the trees and the hills, When I meet a man I want him tc be- a miner, hunter, or even a stage rob- ber. Can’t you see?” The man of the West removed his spectacles, drew out a handkerchief and cleaned the lenses with delibera- tion. “They don’t rob stages out here any more,” he said, “and most of the cow- boys have gone in the movies.” After a moment of deliberation he added, “Maybe, by hunting long enough, I could scare you up a man whose fa- ther had been a cattle-rustler?” “I see,” Caroline was offended. “You do not understand. But if life is so unexciting here why are you in the mountains?” ¢ “I might be a tourist like yourself but I'm not. You see I work for the biological survey.” “Mercy that’s a queer thing to have in the hills! It means college educa- tion and books; that you are a stu- dent and not a real wild westerner after all. I didn’t think,” she caught herself before confessing she did not think his appearance was promising and continued, “I didn’t think it would be so difficult to meet the kind of men I've read about.” When Leroy Boone came by again he brought her a rare flower he had found on the trail and again he smiled oddly when he saw she was not pleased. “Your western man,” he said, “the one you have pictured, would not have picked a flower and carried it so care- fully. No—I think he would have been shooting the lights out of a sa- loon or rescuing a leather-skirted girl from the hands of the villainous fore- man of a rival ranth. It’s too, bad there isn’t a motion picture house up here.” He went his way, walking leisurely as a man with plenty of time. “He’s angry because I didn’t thank him for his flower,” Caroline decided. “Well, as soon as he understands I do not wish biological surveyors bring- ing me posies, I will be better satis- fied. I can see plenty of men like him at home.” And when she returned to the cabin she said nothing to the Pot- ters of the man whe had no place in her picture or scheme. Several times more the girl met him and at last she admitted to her- self there was something in his quiet, almost tolerant manner that attracted her even while it exasperated. But she would not surrender. She had taken the superior attitude and until he proved himself a hero, worthy of his environment, she would continue disdainful. By the time she came to leave they were as well acquainted as the peculiarly strained situation would allow. “I am sorry you are going,” he said, “sorry because I will miss you and because you should stay long enough to get the real values of our West.” Was the man going to propose? And what would she say? Caroline felt suddenly her values had changed and that she was going to miss him. Then came that tantalizing smile and the banter which enraged her. “If I were the sort you Lave been looking for I would kidnap you, throw you over a horse and take you to the parson. But as it is, I can only ”» come “Say good-by,” finished Caroline and she hastened to the cabin vow- man who had no right to pretend to be of her West. As Abe Potter drove her over to the station he mentioned Boone. “He works for the biological sur- vey,” he said, drawing the words out importantly. “They hires him to hunt mountain lions. Last week he got five in one day!” For five minutes Caroline was si- lent. Then timidly she said, “Mr. Pot- ter, turn around and drive me back. I'm going to stay another week.” | it? Gio GRAHAM BORRER. See. COPYRIGHT BY WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION A PIG SECRET Mrs. Lazy Pig shook her snoot which meant that she wasn’t always spoiling her children, for some of the other pig mothers had said that she did. “I make them grab for their own food, and I always try to grab first,” she said. “No, 1 don’t spoil them. I'm a reg- ular pig, grunt, grunt, squeal, squeal.” The others wanted to know why this family of pigs were called the Lazy Pig family. Mrs. Lazy Pig had been too lazy to explain, but at last Mr. Lazy Pig said, lazily: “Tl tell them.” So Mrs. Lazy Pig, Lawrence Lazy Pig, Letty Lazy Pig, and four other Lazy Pig children, as well as the oth- er pigs, all listened to Mr. Lazy Pig while he told his story. “We had the usual family name of Pig,” he said, “until a short time ago. “We were fed and fed, ah, such goodies as we had, and nothing seemed to make us fat. “That was the great joke over which your mother, Mrs. Lazy Pig, and I, were laughing about a little while ago. “The farmer couldn't understand why we didn’t grow fat, for he was “Why Dign't We Grow Fat?” fattening us up so we would sell for | good, big sums of money and wake! hima a bit richer. “But we didn’t grow fat! didn’t! That's a joke, eh? “Why didn’t we grow fat? i “Ah, we don’t know, or if we do—| we won't tell, for that is our secret. | “The farmer most certainly doesn’t know what keeps us from growing fat. “If he did know he would give us | i whatever would make us fat, yes, he ; would. “But we stay thin and still we dat’ and eat and eat. i “Ah, what good meals we have, delicious meals, for the farmer still hopes we will grow fat, but we won't, | we're the Lazy Pigs—too lazy to even. grow fat, and that is a queer, un-! usual and extremely lazy kind of lazi- ness. | “We stay thin and still we eat as: I said before. : “After the farmer saw that no mat- | ter what he did and no matter what | he gave us to eat that we still wouldn’t grow fat he named us the Lazy Pigs, and so we call ourselves the Lazy Pigs, for we think it is a fine name. } “Ah, it’s our great secret, to eat a lot and stay thin, and we all seem to! understand the secret too, and well all fool the farmer!” “We think you're very clever,” said | the other pigs, “and we wish we knew | your secret.” No, we RIDDLES Why is a king like a book? Because | they both have pages. * * * What is it that is full of holes yet holds watler? A sponge. * * #® What should a clergyman preach about? About half an hour. ® * * If you go for 10 cents worth of long, tin tacks what do you want them for? Ten cents. * * % Which is the bigger, baby Bigger, | Mrs. Bigger or Mr. Bigger? The baby | is a little Bigger. * If I were to see you riding on a don- ; key, what fruit should I be reminded | of? A pear (pair). i * * ® 0% { Why is a chicken the most usefal | fowl on the farm? For every grain of wheat it gives 2 beck: * What two countries are apart i the year, but come together at Christ- | mastime? Turkey and SBreace (grease). * i Why is an astronomer so much like | a moving picture director? Because |! they are both always looking for new | stars. * What is the difference between a thoughtless boy and a mirror? The | boy speaks without reflecting and the mirror reflects without speaking, * * In marble walls as white as milk, lined with a skin as soft as silk, with- | in a fountain crystal clear, a golden apple doth appear. No doors there are in this stronghold, yet thieves break in and steal the gold. What is An egg. * =
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers