- ' ~ttt r-r*-W ~T r ■ — >-S— *- r'r - i-.- tr—ff r t-tT gp —• • ■*• - - - ■■• ' - "7. * a. ■ - - — ir AR.V3LY SXOXiX J Ei3FL,l > rl'ri€tor.| NEW SERIES, franrji pfmorvab A weekly Democratic c psper, devoted to Pol ' MSjl^i tie* l , Xeus, the Arts jMfcL *n I fences A.-. Tab- • gJkJgTII fish'xi every Wc '.nes- I /'' dny, at Tunkhanmck, "lj V, ynmirg Cour.t ; Pa. -* V jBE M~ f* BY HARVEY SICKLER. s^®"' Terms—l eopy 1 year, (in advance) -51.."0. I not pain within six months, 62.G0 will he charged RTIS X2ST G . 10 lines orl , Jess, make three four /,ro three sir one en-c square ictcks ict 'k.* nut th, ma'lit ino'lh year 1 Square 1,00 1,25 2.2') 2.1T 3,1)0 5.00 *2 da. '2,oo'' 2.50 3,25- 3 50' 4,50 6.00 3 do. 3,00 3,75 1.75 5.5t! 7.0" 9.00 I Column. 4,00, 1.0U 1 i;.SG. B.c'U 10,t'O 15,1*1) do. 6,00 7,00 10 00 12.00 do. S"t' 'lt l-.00j 18,00> 25,00 35,00 1 do. I-Loj. 12,6b 17,00 22,00.25,00 10,00 ilusincss Cards of one square, with paper, $3. JOB WOIIK of all kinds neatly executed, a 1 at prices to suit ike times. Business .flotim ' si BACON STAND Nicholson, la. —C. L Jvcksox, I'Dpiietor. [vln4t)tf 1 S. TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, *T TunkdiiißaocV- Pa. Office in -Stark's Biiek LIoc7:Y l r o <n street. NTTRf. M. PIATT, ATTOItXKY AT LAW, Of- VY flee in Stark'.- Brick block, Tioga St., Tunk h'.rriiick,* j a. I> R.<Si S, W, I.ITTI.E ATTOItXKY'S AT. 11 LAW, Office I-'! Tioga ctreet, Tunkhannock T.v JY. SMITH, 51. i>. I'HY-ICIAX A SIT.i.KCfX. • Office ou Bridge Street, next door to the Demo crat (Tffiee, Tunklr* mioek, Pa. US. COOI'I'.K, IXIYSK'IAX A siI.OEOX * 27ewton Centre, Luzerne County I'a. \> !t. t_ < V 14 KC fx I' It . PHYSK 11 N" !fc SUItGKOV, Totil l re. peetfuiiy announce to the citizens of Wv oiuing that fee ha*? lie-site 1 at Tunkhmnoek where he uiU promptly attend to all calls in the lino of lYi profession. Will found at Lome <r Saturdays of week. J M. CIREY, M. I>.— (Oraduatc of tuc n %J % M. loft'tute, Giseinnali) wuM respectfully M.B'Hir.i-f fit tl.e citizens of Wyoming and Luzerne Counties, tha' he e u.tinues his regular practice in the various depart ments of his pn.l'c.. ion. May ce found at his office or resideir.-tf, when not professionally ab ect Partdeul-JT attention t;iven to the treatment Chronic D'scas tatreoiorsUnd, Wyoming iV Pa.—v'ini WALL'S HOTEL, LATE A-'ERICAH HOUSE, TUNKH AN N uC'lv, WYOMING CO., PA. rIIJS estnldithiu' ut has recently been refitied and furnished in latest '<j Every attention wdl be given to the comfort and convenience < f those who patronize the' Hoce. T. It. WALL. Owner and Proprietor. Tunkhannock, September 11, IS'JI. WAYWARD' 3 HOTEL, TXKHANXOCK, W Y OMING CO r X rY , PEXXA. JOHN MAYXA KI) , Proprietor. HA\ TXO teken the li.r'el, in (he Borough ef Tunkhanncck, recently occupied by lliley Warner, the proprietor r*:.po -tfully solicits a share -it public patronage. Jhe llous, has been tho rough iv rcpaiied, and the eonifor*- and accomodations of a first class Hotel, will be found bv ail who may favor t with their custom. i tember 11. l-^il. WORTH BBAWSH HOTEL, AIESHOPPEiV, WYUMIXO COL XTY, I'A IVtit. 11. (OIMRIGIIT, Prop'r HAVIXO rc-imcd the proprictorsliip of the above Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to rrder the house an agreeable place of sojourn for all who may favor it with their custom. Win II CCPiTRIIIIIT. J una, Sr*J, 1563 lotfl, towauda, r /\. D. B. RARTi.ET, ILate i the Bnnuv dtp* ]. -rsr, ITlkiha. X. i". PROPRIETOR. Tn i-one of the LARGEST and BEST H*iuses in the country—lt is fitted'up ?n the nnd improved style, nd no pains are gparon lo ° and i •greoal-lc stopping-place for Ci., v 3.t:21..,- • j T M- GILM AN, j dentist. , j \ : ; - M OILMAN, has pqrmatvir.tly located in Tank- J • has.ncck Bor-.ugh, an i respectfully tenders his professional services to tho citizens of this place and urrounding country. ALL WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATIS FACTION. Office over Tutton's Law Offit*. near the Pos Office. Dec. 11,1961. TO NERVOUS Ol" BOTH A REVEREND GENTLEMAN H A VINO MEEN eatrred to health in a lei* day*, after undergoing all be usual routine and irregular expensive modes of reatmen ~wUhOßt raceew, considers it his sacred du- T '. c6mmunienf , e U)hi .. iiffllcteilfellow creatures the means of care, Jlence, or. the reee.pt of an n i i.*f: e, - hg w . ,n Mud (frecl a of h e irejsriptica aifd. Direct to D r Jo.in M rvjT t ' ®P*lt*> fjtr |ET. Rre-Vin. N>T Tor* >/ GUY® TEM^ATION { "Hurrah fo* Mr. Phipps !*' wae the ety that rose from a group of hoys clustered arouml theQlenville school house. Hurrah for Mr. Phipps ! "Three cheers and a Ti ger shou'ed Tommy Rich, throwing #p his cap. Such a Confusion of howls was the re .-.pnn<e to this suggestion, that Mr Phipfls, little ilog. .Skip, gave one or two wild barks', and ran under the school house in dismay. Nortunately Skip's master was not far off. and as he camo down the stops, standing, a tall, dignified gentleman, in the little crowd the noise lulled, and the b* ys closed around !iim quietly. "That is enough of chceri ng, boys," said he. "I am glad you are pleased with j'our holiday and my plan for its celebration. I leave the arrangement n your hards; only remember that Washington was not merely a patriot, but a gentleman, and keep his birth day accordingly." The group bn ke up, and the boys went away in knots of two and three, eagerly dis cussing the promised p'easune. For the com i'.g holiday was to be celebrated* in great style, by the b*>y of Mr. Thipps' school The Glenville Brigade, their "c nnpany" of which ihey were so proud, was *o have a grand pas ads in the morning, 10 end by es corting Lapt* Bryant to the H'.'l, where he would add re .hem, A speech from a thus— oner escaped from Richmond a perfect hero in the eyes of the buys, was delightful en ough, one would think. But ir w a *> to he Niowtd by a ollatton in the Hi!!, and in the evening a visit with their teacher to that wondtrfu! art-mnmr, the Starocnpticoii.— Altogether it was a programme worthy o: the patriot Washington, and tho teacher Fhipps, as Tom Rich s.i>d. "Yes, hut loin, it is tune for the brigade to choose a r.ew Captain." said Howard Leo my month is up on .Saturday." "To be sure," assented Tom. "Ami wo want a; extra good oue v.r tho celebration, who shall it be f "Flaxy Eist. say I answered Howard. 'Guy Ilowiand, say I," intcruprcd Tetn [ emphatically. "Tell you what. Guv knows j how to make a splendid officer." li ere a bait a dozen boys bigger tlian lie. answered 11-' Ward* "Bosido's he's turned pions. and j ca'i liiin a snei*.k." "Bother! Tall ym what, How, it's n pi' J you re nvt like him was T -m's r* i un der. "Guv never tells tales of the other boys, ai.v way. interpose 1 Aleck I urner, signifi cant!--. 'Ghat's so! Theec cheers for Captain Guy." Ilowar 1 blushed angrily. We'll vote on t.ie tning Saturday. h- aid in a sharp tone And thus arose the first little c!oud over | the anticipated celebration. | The morrow came, and party spirit began i to run high in the school. Tom and HWard worked hard to secure the election of their j favorite®, while mi iy wjre the arguments in | favor of each. i Flaxy was rich ; had the best uniform; , was the taller, Guy, though young, was a universal favorite ; hi 1 a brother in the army who had taught Nho to "train would be the smartest officer. Guy w.i 6 too small Flaxy 'oo ilnw. Thus the contest waged, and, boy fashion, the scholars engaged in it heartily. The can j liinates themselves watched somewhat eager ly for the result, though Guv did nothing ac tively to forward his own cau-ie. II s sense of honor was too great for that. But he thought Fnuch of the coveted position, and was quite certain in his own mini that ho deserved it. The zea! of Tom and his allies Gad accomplished much in the school, but j their work had been ureater in flittering 1 Gny,s vaiiry. irusirg his j fusion, and fos tering a little spirit of self-righteousness, Mr. Dhippe, quietly observant of the pro gress of things mi the schoo' began to fear the celebration must be omitted, as iovolv ing more evil than good. Saturday, the election day catnc ; one bv me the members of the Brigade gave their voles, and the result was a lie. "I declare 1" shouted Tom Rich. "There was one more on cur side this morning, I know Y\ ho has been bought over ?" "Howard I.ee offered a d >ub!e hand p nl of nuts to 'fit boy that would vote for Flaxy ! I hearj b' m !" fa-- little Ned Willis ; fo r which indiscrei rolEsrk lie reccivcd a P unch from Howard. "Tell you what. We'll try Lhaw n gatn, but the result was the same. At last tho final trial was pos'poned until the following Monday, and the boys sopera ted in great excitement. ' I don't care;', soliloquized Guy, on his homeward wav. [ don't see why I shouldn't take Tom's advice, and be captain of half the brigade, and let the others go. I should have the best company and beat the others out and oi;t, I know ! Mr. Phipps wouldn't like two parties in the school, hut—besidsiv T cant get out of it now. I've said I would •tand for election and the boys on my side won't train with any one else. Flaxy's a mean fellow—that's sure !*' So Guy exciteldy marched in the house to tell his mother, who had watched him a nx ii)y all the week. "TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. " —ThomafJeflerscn. TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8, 1864. ' You see, marn na, the fellows won't stand another captain, and T shall show no spirit if I give in now," he concluded. The patient mother's smile was not want ing. as Mrs. Ilowlar.d looked at her hoy.— "Do ycu think it will be worth all the bad feeling, the division in the school, the troub le it will give Mr. Philips, my darling. "But all the big boys' will be angry with me mother. They want me to be obliging, they sav—and—a little fellow needn't be put dewu without spirit," sai l Guy imploring - ly. 1 And if it d ies not show spirit ? if he does not give in, what then ?" Why, then, I shall be called sneak— tUats ai! ? said Guv sharply, just restraining him eelf Ircm a violent kuk at the fender, I think it was fortunate that little Pet catne toddling in just then and claimed the boy's attention Guy got through* the evening comfortably _ and at last took the bible to tea 1 his evening chapter in very g <>d spirits. Be kindly afT.-ctioneif one to ano'her,-with brotherly love, in honor preferring one anoth er, Guy put down the book l.a-hily. "llow the bible does have a verse ft r every single thing ! F wish—"Guv stopot-d and repeated slow, "in honor prefering one an other." *1 "I might have expected to find something like that/" and then the boy wiped away a few rebellious tears. tike the rest of us Guy found being good was often uphill work But the Bible was taken up again, and Guy's head bent over it thoughtfully, "Tell you what b<>y''.' •js Tom Kelt's sa hit oil, as the scholars thronged into the play ground the next M nday; We're going to elect our captain to day sure pop." ' Watt a minute, Tom, sud.Gny, springing up the scoool house steps. [ want to speak. Boys. I resign in favor of Flaxy, I won't be captain any how." There was great confusion at this and crie of "stuff!" "sneak 1" were heard here and there. "Hold on boys !" cried Guy, though his cheeks tingled. ' I'm not done yet. I'm not mean, but it is no way to celebrate Washington's Birthday by:* fuss, or by dividing our Brigade. We ought to be unit ed that day surely. lin >ve Aleck Turner be captain—he's just the one, so tail and s ildier-hke. Wc want a splendid, officer the celebration day. Flaxy ai I whl have our turns by and by, so n bo ly need mind given in now. i'h are Tom—please Fiaxy--hclp me," and Guy held out his hands to the boys. ' Oh, I don't care," said the latter sulkily '*l'i] give in, too if you are bent on not hav ing a row." ''Three cheers for handsome Captain Aleck piped lit tie Ned W lir>. And the b ys, win a moment's hesiiat.on, joined in the cry "That was neat In little Guy, said Tom Rich, pulling Flaxy Eist aside. "Hum !" said tho latter whistling. "Say, pel3isted Totn, *"sp >se that comes i.: what Ilow. calls being pious ? Tell you what, it would not bo bad if tha rest of us had some of that same religion.' 5 And Flaxy thrust Ins hands deeper into his pockets,ami trcddtif emphatic assent. Fromonr Dktkkmixri).—The Rochester De nocrat, the leading Republican paper in Western N w York, has the following with reference to Genera! Frornont's intentions r •' We cannot longer doubt that it is the intention of Gen. Fremont to take the field as an independent candidate for the Presiden cy. in the event of Abraham Lincoln being r> renominated a' Baltimore. The New Nation bis central organ at New York, openly repu diates Mr. Lincoln in advance, and Fremont is said to have telegraphed to a radical inetn ber of Congress recently, '*l will .un if Lin coin does. —— - Fornf.t, in a recent letter to bis Philadel phia paper, witting from Washington, says : "A few months ago [ thought we were near the end of the rebellion ;at present, I don't think we hare reached the middle oj it. That is cheerful. Gold dollars up to ISo premium, or government money down to 55 cents 011 the dollar ; according to the Phia delptiia North American, 552,000 of our sol diers killed or wounded in battle up to Sep tember, 1803 If we are now only m the middle, we shall end by a shugnter of a mil lion and a half of ou r people, and by reduc ing the va'ue of government paper to nothing. Truly, very cheerful. ) a !}j ( ,f knocking may some times lead to ci:t' ariefe6ln g results, as prov ed by tiiC following gossip : A party met the other night and formed a chain, and when the ' fluid'' was in movement, a married lady present put the question. -'llow mt:y chil dren nave I ?" "Tap, tap, tap, tap," or four, replied the table. Presently, the husband came in and asked the same question. Tap, tap, or two, was the answer. The effect pro duccd by this may be better imagined than described. —: —— gy We hopo the President will tell the people how much better his way to Rich mond via. Spottsylvauia Court House is, taking'into consideration the forty thousand killed and wounded, than the plan of Hen. McC'lwHau byway of the peninsula. " DoING" A LANDLORD. BV FOI.ITAIRE. Tout C. II , a genius whose ideas of life were on such a magnificent scale that** they outran his interest, capital and all, was seated upon the porch of one of out old fashionable hotels, in a large eastern village, one bright Monday morning, cogitating h*>w in the nature of things, it was possible for him to compass a dinner. The lonfi score unpaid, which stood recorded on the books .v thin, precluded the idea of getting one there without the tin. and numerous search es through sundry pockets about his person were unrewarded by a 6ingle shiner. The case was desperate, but great minds are al ways equal to great * emergencies, and Tom was of thai order. ll.s coat had been re no vated by a scourer, for whom he had writ tan a love letter, his hat had been ironed by a good natured hatter, who had enjoyed his custom in better days, a new coat of japan v*rnish had b.-en lavi.-b-.0l upon his cane, his dicky was passable, and no gentleman would tbulk of examiut ig tbo extremities of his covering, or pry into the shifts he had been pot to for a shirt. Torn thought himself passable, an<> he resolved to pass off for a dinner, if possible. A stranger lolling easily on a ~ ttoc before liiin looked vulnerable, and Tom, approaching him in a very bland and friendle m-vnr er, remarked : " Ex3u*p m>*, s., but. you look so much like an old friend of mine, J. B , who has resided for ve irs in the South, that I can't heip addressing you.." " I a:n from the S mth, sir," answered the Stranger courteous!**, ••but not the person you sj. ak of. I know him, however, and am "'eased to encounter a friend of his." " That's it," said Torn to himself, "got him as easy as rolling off a log." An animated conversation ensued, which ended by fun's being a-ke 1 to Jme, and whin the gong proclaimed t lie table sp. -ad, in walked the stranger and Torn, arm in arm, large a- life and twice as natural. lie called the waiters with an air of ease, passu] the strangers vrrie wi'ii friendly freedom laughed musically,jested with .tpirit, wiped his mouth with grace, an 1 i.. short, coin plfetely captivated the southerner. During the pod of Tom's luxuriating, he was ob served by the land I rd, who, indignant, sent a servant to order him from the table. Tom had " come it" over him so many odd din ners, without a shadow of prospect of pay, that he would stand it no longer. The ser vant Approached, whispered in his car, and stood off to give him room to move. Tom clutched the wine bottle, with the intentmi of hurling it at his head, but altered his pur p .•, aud poured out another glass, drank it off looked d iggers at the servant, and in a m unent ru ire otnilej lentially upon his fi lend " Woul I you believe it," said Tom to the Southerner, '* that siocc my ab-cnce from the city for a few days past, a rival house of *)t r shipping firm has whispered the possi bihty of oar failure, add * this rascally land lord having heard the calumny, has insulted me here at the table by sending a servant to demand the trifling sum I owe him." The Southerner was burning with indigna tion. *' It is 100 humiliating," added Tom, " not dreaming of such an outrage, I atn entirely unprovided at the moment." '• Here my dear fellow," promptly replied his friend, " there is my pocket book ; make use of it with' ut hesitation." " You're very kind," said Torn. " very—l will but borrow this Si,ooo bill for a mo ment—l know the rascal can't change it!" With an ail of otfinded dignity. Tom ap proached the office of the hotel, the landlord, frowning with anger, stood at the desk, the offender" dinner out," put his hand to his eyes, as if hiding-deep emotion, and then ad dressing. the landlord, in a grief-stricken voice, he said : " I never dreamed of such an insult from you sir, at such a time, too, just as my uncic in the South has expired—and his agent with me to deliver up the portion bequeath ed to tne—it i '—it sir, I cannot express in language my feelings. Take # out of that the paltry sum I owe von," —throwing down the SI,OOO bill—and henceforth I never will dark en your door. Just at, a time, too," he fur ther added. " when 1 intended to make your house my "home, and endeavor to make Some return foryour forbearance. It is too much —my feelings are ltcerated," and here he became almost overpowered by emotion. The si rip of crape around his hat—put there to hide the greasy band—the .SI,OOO bill, and the renovated coat, which looked like new on the possessor of such a sum, all assured the landlord that he hud been hasty, lie theretoi , denied the indignity straight, said it was ail impertmance of his ser -ant, who had twice before offended his best guests by his insolence, jTfcored Tom he would discharge the fellow forthwith—posh back the SI,OOO bill, and Pegged he would forget the circumstance —indeed, he felt shocked that such an outrage had been per petrated upon his oldest friend and custo mer. These warm expresses modified Tom's wrath, and folding up his bill he walk ed back, resumed his seat, aud re urned the b'lfto the l?'-utbrrnor, merely fftuarking i ' 1 ■ that he had " brought ths landlord to his feelings," and cheerfully sipped a little iced chatnpagno. As he left the table arm in arm with hia friend, the landlord approached. bowing, and bogged to know where fee should send for his trunk, as No. -4, a fine, airy room, which would suit bun to a charm, was at present ein .ty. Tun said he would send the baggage up, and afu r lighting a choice havana, strolled out with an aristocratic air. In good tiuic the trunk arrived—a rude one, but very heavy. The landlord winked as the servant bent beneath its weight, and reinai keJ, as he paid the porterage, that a large quantity of bullion was generally rath er heavy. Tom was in clover—the sjil.ooo bill got whispered about, and one of hi acred ltors, a fashionable tailor, insisted on trust ing him for another suit ; he yielded, after much persuasion, and it was astonishing how everything' altered in Tom's appearance.— note was good for any t>maii sum. and it was a pleasure to make his acquainlance. In the course of ab**ut s;X mouths, the landlord thought he wouhkjusi hint to Tom that a small check would be agreeable, as they were hard pushed. The hint was giv en, and he received a check—anything but a cash oue, though. Tom very coolly inform i d hmr that the age.it who had raised his t opes was a rascally impost jr. " But the SI,OOO bill. Mr. U. ?" taid tin* landlord' inquiihigly. *' Was handed to me by the rogue, to keep up appearances," Cooily responded' T**: i. " 1 shall seize your baggage aii T cried the enraged host. " I c.in't help it, my dear fellow," said Tout, '* you know if I had a ' pocket full of i ocks,'ynu should share them, toi l like you vastly—to keep cool, and keep the baggage until I make a draw and taisc the little sum." The trunk wa- seize ', aud so r -uglily that it burst open, when the landlord di-covered that if Tom had no pocket .uii of rocks, it was because be ha-.l stowed them ai! i:i his trunk, and that accou ite i very naturally for its hc'ng My licßvy. M fNT Yt.i-: vit's._ Tie volearo Vesuvius, last winter gave a few symptoms of the great destructive power which has so lear lu'ly uiauifesti I it.-elf at different periods duting the ,2t eighteen hundred years.— The uui.iftrilled stranger seeing it ln.tr. be low, Would scarcely believe it to be a volca no at a'!, for the white fleecy clou Is which occasionally rest for a m nnent on its brow might readily be taken for what they seem rather than for the sulphurous smoke tjiat without ccssat.on rolls upward from the tie ry furnace below. And so constantly do the subterranean fires continue, that a few days ago a large portion of the mouth of the crater fell into the yawning depths, while frotu the fields of lava still arise small vol umes of vapor, that, issuing from tile crevic es, betoken the fierce, undying flames be neath } stones placed in the crevices in a few m 'Oicnis became too hot to touch ; yet peo ple continue to live directly under this burn ing mountain, and over the desolate field of lava spread a few grains of earth, from which spiings up a sickly and stunted vegetatation seemingly unmindful of the fate of Pompeii, or the late eruption of 1801, when the in habitants * f T*>rre deil Greeo, a small town near by, flod to Naples in affright, and the flames burned so brightly as to illuminate the air lor many tniles around. jsrsr Where were you all the aft£t*noon ?" enquired the master. " No where," answered the boy doggedly " No where V' echoed tne master, as-min ing a very wise look and easting his eyes around the room to see if the boys noted him, his custom always when about to utter an impressive remark. " That nowhere mut be a creat place, for a good many boys go there I find But how came you to go there, Patrick V " Because,"replied the delinquent " I had no where's to go and so 1 went there." A loud laugh from the whole school fol lowed, in winch the master heartily joined. GOING HI NTING. —A gentlemen had boon paying his addresses, for some time, to a young lady by the name of Hunt, aud finally married her. A few evenings after the hap py event, as he was coming from bcr resi dence, he was accosted by an old fiiend.— "Ah !" exclaimed he, "I sec you still go Huniing." "No ! replied the gentleman ; "1 have bag ged my game." OKK or THE TENANTS.— "Jimmy," said Mr. Murphy to his son, "got some kindhn' an' be aiilicr uiakiu' a lire." "P'aie, sir, I can't ; Mister O'Brien used the la>t banister yesterday." "The banisters all gone ? Thin go on the roof and thry the virtue o' thun shingles." Exit Jimmy. In a few weeks afterwards, Mr. Murphy went to his landlord aud wanted a reduck— shin o' rent—kazo why ? The roof lakes !" ASR A wag has recently discoveied the true cause of the bravery of colored troops ; tby s r e the color bearer* of Hie human rate- Mrtf <V'* * r-iiw .** i qxs v.-a-5/ ; to *> d) .h l f an ) llfw ... ct ' - - fi • a :.iS *v i?J3XX3ML J9: OX.OO TBfE HOUSE THAT TOM BUII.T. ______ JO, t ■' tr riots u *Ue s ifib% H Where ia the House that Tom bail* ? , * Where is! tie Gold that lay in the Hume that Tom built ? ' •- CHASK ia (he Rnt that cribbed the 6o]<l tj^at lay in the House that Tom built. ABU is the Cat that winked at the Rat tftfct cribbed the Gold that lay in the House that Tom built. ... * U LONG is the Boy that worries the Gbt tf* winked at the Rat that cribbed the* Gold that lay in the House that Tooir* built. Old COLFAX, with crumpled horn, tried to toss this naughty LONG that worries Abe the winking Cat,that slyly whisper ed to the Rat to crib the Gold that lay in the ll'use that Torn built. ANNA S the Maiden all forlorn, who urges : K"l. with the crumpled horn, to toss this" naughty LONG, that woiies Abe, the winking Cat, that slyly whispered to the Rat to crib the Gold that lay in the Ibmse that Tom built. ~ POOR HORACE GREEI.F.Y, all tattered and ton would kiss the Maiden all forlorn, alwr urges Kol. with the crumpled horn to toss this naughty, naughty LONG, who worries Abe, the winking Cat, that sly ly whispered to the Rat to crib the Gold that lay in the House thw'Tom built.' BEF.CIJER'S the parson, all shaven and shorn, who vi|| some "contraband," all totter-" cd and torn, miscfje ate with the Maid en ail forlorn, who urges Kol. with tho crumpled horn to toss this naughty naughty LONG, who worries Abe, the winking Cat, that slyly whispered to' the Ilif to crib the Goid that lay in the House that Tom built. DEMOCRACY'S ihe Cock (hat will crow in the morn awaken the Parson all shaven and •horn—who'll banish all "contrabands" tattered and torn, and punish all mito gens with Maiden's forlorn—he'll silence Colfax with the crumpled horn, aud, tol the bold, outspoxen LONG, who wor ries Abe. the winking Cat, who would not Chase away the Rat tl at cribbed' the Gold that lay in the House that Tom built. Clf A West Indian, who Haifa remarka bly red nose, having fallen asleep in his' chair, a negro boy who was in waiting observed a mo qui to hovering over his face. Quashy eyed it very attentively. At last it hit upon his master's nose.and instantly flew off agaiit. "Yah. yah 1" he exclaimed with great glee, "mo berry glad to see you burn your fut !" SriST On a very rainy day, a man enter ing his house, was accosted by his wift in* the following manned: "Now my dear, while you are wet go and fetch me a bucket of water." He obeyed, brought tne water, and threw it all over her, 6aying at the time : "Now. my dear, while you are wet go and fetch another. The following letter was received by a gentleman of Poughkeepsie through the Saf)-* itary P. Office :—Deer Sur : Enklosed pleze find Ten dollars—if you kan. Very respect fully yours, JOSH BILLINGS." The ten dol'ars had not'been found at flio last accounts. L JD33T An Israelite lad}', sitting in tbe" same box at an of era with a physician, was much troubled with ennui, and happened 11>' gape. "Kzcuse mo, mhdam," said the doctor, "I* am glad you did not swaliow me." " Give yourself no uneasiness, replied thf lady, "1 am a jewess, and never eat pork; M An Irishman on board a vhwel when she was on the point of foundering,-bal ing desired to come on deck as she was going down, replied that he had no wish to go ott deck to "see himself drowned." An exchange says—There is some-* . thing inexpressibly sweet about little girls. The Louisville Journal add.-, "And it growa on them as they get bigger." Prentice says, a lock of the Presi dent's hair, clipped from the spot whewa Ike scratched bis head when writing the c nation Proclamation, might perhaps bring almost a little fortune at one of our Sanitary Fairs. a ' < ~ ry A Clergyman who was asked whe ther the members of his church wore united. He replied that they were perfectly united frozen together. ——— —— - '!!"'■ t< KTA Country editor, praising a suc cessful poliiihan, called him "one of the ciet ere6t fellows that ev.r luted a hat to a ladTt or a boot to a blackguard." You're very witty, ♦ • _ Rut not very pretty j Your cheeks are red— And who asys they haiu't, t And i know where M Yuu buy your paiut, ' -.is (J a-ia .-• L u .eiscta* u m* drw *. •- 5 v +ri i r?v '>**nad<sa ' VOL. 3, NO. 43
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers