Newspaper Page Text
fire Slodli f ranch Democrat
Ifortli Bra iirli Bmotrah
A weekly Democratic rJ
paper, devoted to Pol
tics, News, the Arts Jj LiLj r I
and Sciences Ac. Tub- a.A. A A
!ished every Wcdnes- B'l^SnC
day, at Tunkhannock, :&"} ! f ;
Wyoming County, Pa. . v it/jStf U i '
BY HARVEY SICKLER.
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) -81.50. If
not pain within six months, £2.09 will bo charged
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Business Cards of one square, with paper, $5.
of all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
BACON STAND.— Nichoi sou. Pa. C. L
JACKSON, Proprietor. [vln49tf]
HS. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
GEO. S. TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Tunkhannock, Pa. Office in Stark's Biick
Block, Tioga street.
WM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of
fice in Stark's Brick Block, Tioga St., Tunk
RR. A S, W, ■/ITTI.E ATTORNEY'S AT,
LAW, Office on Tioga street, Tunkhannock
HARVEY SICKUER, ATTORNEY AT LAW
and GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT- Of
fice, Bridge street, opposite Wall's Hotel, Tunkhan
DR. J. C. CORSEI.IUS, IIA VINO LOCAT
ED AT THE FALLS, WILL promptly attend
all calls in the line of his profession—uiay be found
fit Beemer's Hotel, when not professionally absent
Falls, Oct. 10, ISGI.
I) H . J C BK< I KHI TIx: Co.,
PHYSICIANS VT SURGEONS,
Would respectfully announce to the citizens of Wy
tuing that they have located at Tunkhannock wher
hey will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
peir profession. May he found at his Drug Storo
When not professionally absent.
JM. CAREY, M. T>.— (Graduate of the q
* M. Institute, Cincinnati) would respectfully
announce to the citizens of Wyoming and Luzerne
Counties, that he continues his regular practice in the
various departments of his profession. May no found
it his office or residence, when not professionally üb
Particular attention given to the treatment
entremorelaud, Wyoming Co. Pa.—v2n2
Is ATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA
THIS establishment has recently been refitted and
furnished in tbo latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the House.
T. B. WALL, Owner anl Proprietor.
Tunkhannock, September li, 1861.
WYOMING COUNTY, PENNA.
JOHN NAYN AKI), Proprietor.
HAVTXG taken the Hotel, in tlie Borough of
Tunktiannoek. recently occupied by Riley
Warner, the proprietor respectfully solicits a share of
pHblic patronage. The Houfe has been thoroughly
repaired, and the comforts and accomodations of a
first class Hotel, will be found by ail who may favor
t with their custom. September 11, 1861.
WORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MESHOPPEN. WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Win. 11. CORTRICJIIT, Prop"r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
lender the house an agreeable place ot sojourn for
/il who may favor it with their custom.
Win. II CCRTItIIinT.
June, 3rd, 1863
\,T GTLMAN, has permanently located in Tun'--.-
t'l. bannock Borough, and respectfully tenders his
professional services to the citizens of this place and
ALL WORK WARRANTED. TO GIVE SATIS
I<?f"Office over Tntton's Law OfEca, near the Pos
Dee. 11, 1861.
TO NERVOUS SUFFERERS OF HOTII
A REVEREND GENTLEMAN HAVING BEEN
restored to health in a few days, after undergoing all
the usual routine and irregular expensive modes of
treatment without success, considers it his sacred du
ty to communicate to his afflicted fellow creatures
the means of cure. Hence, on the receipt of au ad
dressed envelope, he will send (free) a copy of the
prescription used. Direct to I>r John M. Daoxai.l,
168 Fulton Street. Brooklyn. New York. v2n24ly
THE CONFESSIONS AND EXPERIENCE
OF A NERVOUS INVALID.
Published for the benefit and as a caution to young
men. and others, who suffer from Nervous Debility,
Early Decay, und their kindred aliments —supplyin"
the means of self-cure. By ono who has cured him
self after being a victim of misplaced confidence in
medical humbug and quackery. By enclosing n post
paid directed envelope, singlo copies may bo had of
the author, Nathaniel Alaveair, E-. Bedford,
Kings County, New York.— v 3 iilo-ly
SPEAK GENTLY TO THE
Speak gontly to the erring—
Ye know rot all the power
With which the dark temptation came
In some unguarded hour ;
Ye may not know how earnestly
They strugled or how well;
Until the hour of weakness came,
And sadly thus they fell !
Speak gently to the erring—
Oh ! do not thou forgot,
However darkly stained by sin,
He is thy brother yet.
Heir of the self-same heritage,
Child of the self-same God,
He hath stumbled in the path
Thou hast in weakness trod.
Speak gently to the erriag—
For is it not enough
That innocence and peace are gone,
Without thy censuro rough I
It surely is a weary lot
That sin crushed heart to bear;
Anil they who share a happier fate
Their ehidings well may spare.
Speak kindly to the erring—
Tbon jet mayst lead him back,
With holy words, and tones of love,
From mis'ry's thorny track ;
Forget not thou hast sinn'd,
And sinful yet must be ;
Deal kindlv with the erring one,
As God hath dealt with thee !
THE LAST SILVER DOLLAR.
'Tis the last silver dollar,
Left shining alone.
All its laughing companions
Have melted and gone.
Not a coin of its kindred,
No specie is D\gh
To echo back softly
Its silvery sigh.
You must leave bright dollar,
The last of my few,
Since thy mates have departed,
Skedaddle thou too.
Thus, kinkly, I send the
To wander afar,
So soon may I follow,
When thou art no more,
And I a wreck of starvation
On shinpiaster shore.
When the purse never jingles.
And shiners have flown,
Oh ! who can feel wealthy
On pictures alone.
THE BRIDAL OF HEATH.
Everybody was astonished when Francis
Clavering relinquished his splendid position
in society and retired to the country. Young
handsome, accomplished, brilliant in conver
sation, and the possessor of a princely for
tune, L'lavering had reigned supreme in the
gay world. llis grace, beauty, and sparkling
wit won the love and admiration of w nneii ;
his skill in billiards, horsemanship, shooting,
and all manly accomplishments, made hiui a
favorite with the men.
Frank (Havering was tiie arbiter clegautia
rum in all matters relating to dress, dancing,
dinners, games, and singing. From the cut
ot a coat to the praises of a poet, his decision
was law—from it tl ere was no appeal. Woa
to the unlucky poet or singer, who fell under
his contemptuous criticisms ; for, if he was
damned by Clave ring he was damned indeed.
If ho pionounced a lady to be ill-looking, she
must be in spite of nature and art. lls wit
ty sayings went round the town they were
repealed at the clubs, adu whispered in draw
This elegant trifler, this gay exquisite,
this king of clubs ami drawing-room hero,
had commenced life full of sweet hopes and
golden aspirations ; lie longed to place his
name among those bright spirits whose gen
ius has illuminated the world. Hut the se
ductive smiles of pleasure beguiled him fr< tu
the path of fame—he stood like a swimmer,
undecided for a moment, and then plunged in
to the bath of luxury. Hours, which were
once devoted to books, were now devoted to
billiards; hours which were once passed
with Shakespeare, Addison and Goldsmith,
were passed with gay, dissipated young men.
The quiet library was abandoned for the noi
bv club; the instructive lecture room for the
But the noble spirit of Francis Clavcring
began to tire of this unceasing round of dis
sipation and folly. He discovered, like By
ron, that life's enchanted cup sparkles only
near the brim ; that pleasures which appear
so fair and attractive to the sight, turn, like
Dead Sea (rutt, to ashes on the lips. He re
solved to withdraw from the facinating
scirrcn where he had lingered to long, and
seek in the retirement of the country that
sweet happines which the gay world could
While contemplating this retreat, Claver
ing received a sudden aud forcible blow.—
The lady upon whom lie had lavished all the
wealth of his warm and generous heart—
whom he had fondly expected to share his
retirement—whom he had hoped to be part,
ner of his joys and the controller of his sor
rows, proved to be a mere coquette—a light,
giddy creature, who changed her lover a*
olten as her laces. This deep and crushing
disappointment drove ClaVering into the
country, to lead
" A life within itself, to breatha without man
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16, 1863.
He selected a wild and picturesque spot,
by the side of a beautiful river, where, sur
rounded by all the charms of nature, he
hoped to pass days in Bwcet tranquillity.—
Clavsring took possession of his new home
in the lovely month of June, welcomed by
the merry songs of birds and the laughing
In this delicious retreat Frank Clavering
Entered upon a new existence. lie who had
once passed his nights in the splendid scenes
of fashionable dissipation—the gay saloon,
the dazzling ball-room, the elegant opera—
now retired to early and refreshing slumbers.
As soon as Aurora, wilh her rosy fingers,
had opened the gates of morn, he was up and
abroad The sweet, early hours he spent
gliding over the crystal stream in his swift
boat, and bathing his superb limbs in the
Reclining beneath the shady trees, n the
midst of rich and brilliant floweis, with the
snowy clouds floating in the clear sky above
him, his ears enchanted by the music of the
birds, and urasing over a favorite poem i r ro
mance, the young hermit tasted a purer de
light than he had ever found in the crowded
hall, or at the merry festive board, 7
One morning as Clavering was taking his
accustomed sail along the flowery banks of
tho stream, he discried a beautiful bird perch
ed on a tree a short distauce from him* Its
brilliant plumage and graceful form made
him desirous of securing it for the mus.um
he was collecting. He directed his boat to
the shore, and gun in hand, proceeded to ac
cnnplish his design. lie fired, and missed—
the bird flew, and Ciavering pursued it, load
ing his gun as he ran. The bird lighted in a
magnificent grove of oaks. Upon coming up,
he fired, but instead of bringing down the
game, Frank was brought down himself, hav
ing, in the excitement of the chase, put a
double load in his gun. Nothing daunted,
our sportsman continued tht pursuit through
the grove. As he emerged fro n the latter,
a delightful and unexpected scene burst up
on his sight.
A beautiful garden lay stretched out before
bathed in the soft splendor of the rising sun ;
gorgeous butterflies and industrious bees,
flitted from flower to flstwer, feasting on their
sweets, and the glad birds carrol their morn
ing hymns to the great God of nature. In the
centre of the garden, stood a rustic bower, al
most buried beneath trailing vines. Imme
diately opposite the place occupied by Claver
ing, a small white cottage emerged from a
wildernes of roses, and clustering honey-suck
les. The lower windows and doors of the
cottage opened upon a porch, which decended
by two r three steps to a gravel walk.—
While flavoring was admiring the beautiful
scene spread out before him, the cottage door
was opened, and a young lady came forth, at
tended bv a graceful hound.
The whole thing appeared si much like the
gorgeous pictures of Fasten poets, that Clav
ering almost believed that he had bt'en sud
denly transported to an enchanted garden.—
He watched the lady, as she descended the
porch, and passed with swan-like gcice, to
ward the bower. As she approached, her
eyes were suddon'y raised to the spot wh re
Clavering stood. Startled at the unusual
sight of a stranger with a gun, she uttered an
exclamation of surprise and terror, and was
on the pointfof Hying to the cottage, when
Clavering advanced to account for his tines
pecfed presence. With that easy elegance of
manner, which had been one of his greatest
charms in society lie addressed her:
"Lady, T owe you many apologies for the
fright whicli 1 have occasioned. While pur
suing a beatiful bird, I came suddenly on this
place, and have been held spell-boun i by all
that I have seen and heard. This card will
inform you that my name is Francis Flavor
tug, a name not unknown in the great city
from which I have lately removed, to take up
my residence in this neighborhood."
With that in ate politeness which every
true woman possesses, Nina Eiglemo it—for
such was the name of the fair lady—invited
hiin to take a seat in the bower ; and with an
unaffected simplicity, perfectly ravishing to
one so long accustomed to the artificial forms
of fashionable life, the beautiful girl sat be
side him and they conversed with each other
like intimate friends. Flavoring's noble coun
tenance and distinguished appearance was
sufficient to recomend liitn to the favor of any
lady. Gifted with an extraordinary talent
for conversation, he possessed the rarer, but
most facinating power of drawing others out,
(as it is called) and making them talk in a
manner pleasing to themselves and to their
listeners. He discovered that Nina's mind
was naturally, a remarkable fine one, but
sadly in need of proper training. The cause
of this, Clavering learned from herself.
"My father and I have lived here five
years, during which time T have seldom seen
a conversable being. My father, who is pas
-8 onatelv fond of experimental chemistry,
passes his days and nights in his laboratory,
unrounded by retorts, stiils, and bottles,
filled with cri nson, yellow, and green liquids,
which he examines, smells, and handles,
with infinite care- He will not allow me to
entciltliis Sanctum sanctorum, for he says,
the curiosity which all tfofnen have inherit
ed from mother Eve, would make me handle
some of his apparatus, and pfobablo cause an
ex doiion. I have been thnm left to my
own guidance. My reading has been exten
sive, but, I fear, unprofitable. Romance and
poetry passess a uever ceasing charm for me,
Often have I wandered in laucy through
Prospero's island of wonder and enchant
ment, and visited Portia's palace at liemont.
Often have I read, wilh streaming eyes, Ike
sa l story of Juliet's ldve, aud tuo cruel fate
of sweet Desdetnona. I have sailied, in im
agination. with Byron, over tho blue Med
iterranean, and visited wondrous Venice,
" Throned on her hundred isles."
I have followed Sir Walter Scott to the gay
tournament, and distributed the prizes to the
gallaut and successful knights."
As Nina concluded, the tall but bent figure
of a man appeared at tho entrance of the
bower. lie fixed his dark, piercing eyes up
on Clavering with evident surprise.
"My father—Mr Clavering," said Nir.a
with a slight embarrassment.
Clavering arose, and extended his hand.—
Mr. FDaglemont coldly bowed, without touch
ing the proffered hand, and a peculiarly dis
agreeable expression passed over his face.
" Am I right, Mr. Clavering, in supposing
you to be a relative of Colonel Reginald Cla
"I am the son of Colonel Reginald Claver
'• I thought so, from the striking likeness
which you bear to hitn."
" You knew my father, then V
" lie was once my most intimate friend,"
he answered, with bitter emphasis on the last
The breakfast was now ready, and Nina
invited Mr. Clavering to eat with them.
With thanks he declined, and departed.
Clavering bad mingled in the high society
of many polished cities, and had seen the
women of many lands ; the voluptuous beau
ties of the East; the black eyed maids of
Italy; the sprightly daughters of sunny
France ; the fair haired girls of Germany, and
the stately women of England ; he had seen
them in splendid scenes of courts clothed in
m the gorgeous trappings of pride, brilliant
with diamonds and jewels ; but this young
trr! of eighteen, in a simple white dress, with
a fresh rose in her glossy hair, surpassed
them all in beauty and grace,
" But who can view tho ripened rose, nor seek
To wear-it ? Who can curiously behold
The smoothness and the sheen of beauty's cheek,
Nor feel the heart can never all grow old V
Frank Ciavering had left the city a woun
ded and disappointed man. By the faithless
ness of one, his trust in the women had been
shattered—almost destroyed. He saw Nina
Eiglemont and his faith was revived, his con
fidence was restored ; once more he loved and
the object of his passion was worthy of his
noble heart. After the first accidental meet
ing, already described, Flavoring was a fre
qnent and delighted visitor at Nina's bower,
ft was his sweet task to road to her his favor
ite books while she was occupied with some
elegant handiwork. He encouraged her to
make observations on what he read, and lis
tened with pleasure to her sensible icmarks.
He thus gradually introduced Nina into the
garden of English literature, and taught her
where to find the most beautiful flowers. He
directed her appreciative mind to the polish
ed essays oj Addison and other courtly wri
ters of the reign of Queen Anne. With grand
old Milton they walked the flowery paths of
Paradise, or joined the glittering train ot Co
rnus. They entered ihe family of Vicar of
Wakefield, and listened to his simple but
touching narrative, In imagination they wan
dered through the deserted lands of sweet
Auburn, and wept over the desolation of that
once happy village. From this spot the
passed to the beautiful bowers of Lalla Rookh,
and revelled witb the delicious abandonment
in the glorious description ot Tom Moore.—
They turned from these to the strange crea
tion.s of the genius of Edgar Poe. Flavoring
who was an elegant reader, tanght Nina to
admire that wonderful poem. " The Raven,'
by his tasteful and beautiful rendering of it.
In these deiightul and instructive employ
ments were p> 8 ed the bright summer morn
ings. The evenings were devoted to sailing
on the beautiful river, when the soft music
of Ctavering's guitar, and the heavenly sweet
ness of Nina's voice lent an additional pleas
ure, to the cnchautrng scene. Ob, love !
blight, young love ! what bliss to lie bound
in thy rosy chains ! llow delicious ! howtn
rapturing ! how enchanting ! L<ve beautifies
everything—the evening sky seems more
richly painted, the moon more silvery, and
the stars tnoro lustrous to the eyes of lov
" Ah ! so delicious is the ungating food,
That men who might have towered in tho van
Of all the congregated world,
Have been content to let occasion die,
Whilst they did sleep in love's Elj-Sium."
Mr. Eagletnont had observed the conslant
intercourse of Clavering and Nina. From
the first interview at Nina's bower he had
regarded Clavering with no favorable eye.—
The very mention of his name—that name
which was the sweetest of all names to Nina
threw an angry frown over his counte
One evening Nina returned home after a
moonlight sail on the river. She was com
pletely happy. Cfavering had opened his
heart to her. ife had spoken o? his ambi
tious youth, of his glorious asp! ratio lis, of his
bright hopes. lie told her how ho had ahan
pnru } the Mite>Jv<l £oill<>33 of vvhd-<mto
juiu the gay followers of the goddess of
'' For your sake, dear Nina, I will once
more eoroll myself among the votaries of
Minerva. I'll seek the glory of a name wor
thy to offer thee j be thou
'My guide, my good angel, my all upon
he exclaimed his face all aglow with ardent
Nina entered the cottage after this blissful
interview, her young heart bounding with
joyful hopes of future happiness. This even
ing, which had begun so auspiciously, was
destined to have a sad termination. Mr.
Eagleinont met his daughter as she was pass
ing along the hall to her chamber, and said
that he wished to see her in the parlor.—
Alarmed at so unusual a sumtnonrs, Nina fol
lowed her father with fear and trembling, to
When they were seated, he thus addressed
u Nina, I have noticed with pain and sor
row, the daily and hourly intercourse be
twtea Francis Clavering and yourself. It
must cease. Such an intimaey might lead to
love ; and love between the son of Reginald
Clavering and the daughter of Henry Eagle
mont, would be strange indeed."
" Why, father, is love forbidden between
the son of Clavering an the daughter of
"Do you ask why ?" he cried, his dark
eyes flashing with fire. " Listen to what no
mortal ever heard before, and then judge
whether it is meet for an Eaglemont to wed
a Clavering. Do youjsuppose that I was al
ways what I am now—a poor, despised, ridi
culrd experimentalist? I was once the proud
possessor of lordly halls, where the gay, the
refined, the most distinguished men and
women of the land were glad to partake of
my boundless hospitality. In an evil hour,
Reginald Clavering came, recommended by
his elegant manners and most flattering ad
dress. Under the spacious garb of friendship,
he approached and I, unsuspicious, re
ceived him to my heart 6 embrace. Under a
confiding and open manner, was concealed a
heart cold, calculating, and selfish. By his
insinuating arts, he became acquainted with
all my family affairs, lie knew the amount
of my income, and also knew that, although
I was liberal in my household and other ex
penses, I did not use more than half of it.—
He determined to secure some of ray supeflu
ous money for himself. To accomplish this,
he took advantage of passionate fondness for
cards. One day while we were plavtng cards
Clavering suggested that a small stake should
bo put up, to add to the interest of the game.
I consented, and almost imperceptibly, a love
of gaming took possession of me. At first I
won nearly every game, Clavering permitted
this tu induce me to play for higher sums.
We sometimes played all day and night—
only stopping to take our meals. In a few
w eks I lost enormously, but the baneful vice
h d become so entwined around my heart
t tat I found it fmpossible to skakc itoff. It
is unnecessary to prolong the painful story—
suffice it to say that Reginald Clavering hav
ing won my princely fortune, also won from
me my destined bride, who, proud and beau
tiful, was taught by Clavering to despise one
whom he had made a beggar Then it was
that I swore deadly and eternal hatred to all
who bore the accursed name. Can you marry
the son of one who ruined yoar father ?"
"Father, that son loves me and I love him
—why should he suffer for his father's
"You love this Clavering, then, better than
ycur father ?"
" I can love you both father."
"I would rather see you lying dead at my
cet, than see you wed Reginald Clavering's
"Clavering is 60 kind, so gentle, so loving,
father, I cannot give him up, I was an igno
rant, and simple girl—he came and I learnt
to love. lam a woman now, and in my
my true woman's heart lies the image of
Francis Clavering, never never, to be remov
"Bo it so; unhappy girl !" cried Eagle
mont, rising, and stretching his right hand
in n luenaceing manner toward her; "but
cur.-cd be tho day, and cursed bo the hour
that see you the wi'6 of Clavering.
And the interview ended, The following
day, when Frank Clavering came as usual to
Nma'g bower, he foiiud her bathed in tear 9
When he inquired the cause of hor weeping,
she related the conversation which had ta
ken place between her father and herself
the evening before.
"I must see your father, Nina, on th's
subject—l will go this instant." And leav
ing Nina, he proceeded to seek Eagletnont,
where he was sure to find him—in his labor
atory. He received Clavering with freezing
jiolitencss and demanded his business.
"1 have come, sir, to ask why yotl object
to my marrying yotff daughter?"
"Were I not speaking to your father's Bon,l
wnuld say that he was a villain—be not only
robbed me of my splendid fortune, but took
from rne the woman who had promised to
po my wife. He changed the bright -summer
days of my youth to dark and dreary winter?
he tore me from the society of my school fel
lows from the gay scenes where I knew no su
pirior,to hide myself in obscurity—l,who was
fumed for tho bright, the beautiful world—
[TERMS: 8100 PER ANn7M
1 have sworn eternal hatred to all who bear
your father,a name. The day my daughter
becomes your wife will be an unfortunate
day for both of you."
"Suppose we are willing to take the con
"Be it so, then—upon you will rot the
Notwithstanding the threats and curses
of her father, Nina and Clayering determined
to consumate their engagement. The day
appointed for the wedbing arrived—a beau
tiful day iu midsummer—all the prepai-a
tions were complete. Two or three of Clav
ering's particular friends came from the city.
A few hours after the ceremony' the bridal
party were to set out on a tour to the
lakes. All the simple arraignments were
perfected. A neighboring clergyman was
present to perform the ceremony. Clayer
ing and Nina ontered ; she radiantly beauti
ful, be with a world of happiness in his man
ly face. The short but impressive marriage
ceremony was over,the blushing bride al
ready had been saluted by the few persons
who were present, when Nina's father ap
proached. A strange light gleamed in his
eyes, a strange smile was on his livid lips
In each hand he held a glass, brimful of sonm
"Happy pair," he said, "it is meet that' you
drink to the reconciliation of the houses of
Clavering and Eagleinont."
After saying these words he departed.—
They drained the glasses, and instantly iielf
to the tioor— DEAD. Henry Eaglemont was'
thua fearfully avenged for the wrongs done
him by Reginald Clavering.
The wretched man fled and was never
seen or heard of more.
We all called the times hard in 1857.
They were hard for robbers and charlatans
but for the real toiling and industrious inter
ests of the nation, they were good—because
, the currency was gold, and all manner of
goods were cheap. Malcontents clamored for'
revolution—and therefore complained of the
times Now, however, We HAVE hard times—
! The hardest ever known since the revolution.
How is the poor and honest man to live?
The contractor and robber of course gets rich
oS the euffrings of others. The poor man, how
ever pays f >rty cents for a ponnd of ro"e?
the same money woufl have bought him four
pounds in 1827. He pays 40 cents for mas
lin. He could have bought four times the
quantity of better goods for the same money
in 1857. Does he get four times the wages
now ? If he does not, he must suffer in pro
pjrtion as he receives less. These are truly
terrible times —and they are getting worse
every day. Ilow can the laborer pay his
rent, and keep his family from starvatiou at
the present prices ?
EJ^T Sai 1 Joe to Bill—both wftre old bum
mers, and both wore terrible drj:
"'Bit, if you'l treat, i'll tell yon where you
can get a whole suit of clothes on six
"Will you though? Now, no foolin yef
"True as preachin" I will Said Joe, and
the parties took a drink at Bil's expense,
when Joe with a twinkling of the eye
"You go op to the recruiting rend z/ous,
and tell 'em you want a suit of clothes
They giv them to yt r on six months trust!"
Bill said his health was so poor he cou d it
" Please, 6ir, lend pappy your knife
to make a pen with."
'• Certainly, my son, here it is."
Youth retires with the knife aDd returns
in about an hour.
" Please, sir, here's your knife ; papfiy's
done with it."
" I should think he was. Why what the
has he been doing with it?" I thought
he wanted it to make a pen ?
"So he did, but I forgot to say it was a
Exit youth, a little in advance of an old
"I wish I had your head," said a lady oris
day to a gentleman who had solved for her a
knotty point. "And I wish I hed your
beatt," was the reply. "Well" said the,
sinee your head and my heart can agree, I
dont see why the£ should not go into partner
Swearing is fearfully prevalent among
the teamsters of the Cumberland army.—
Tije last achievement in that way was
" swearing the hair off a mule's back "
time, nine minutes from tho word go.
JG3T* A western Editor was recently re
quested t > send his paper to a distant patron,
provided he would take his pay in " trade."
At the end of a year he found his new sub
scriber was a coffin maker.
C3T " Patrick, Where's Bridget?" "In
dade, ma'am, she's fast al?ep look'ng at tho
VOL. 3, NO. 19.