TOT FULTON COUNTY NEWS i Published Every Thursday. B H, PBOK, Editor and Proprietor McCONNELLSBURG, PA. DECEMBER 23, 1915 P.iblished Weekly. Jt.OOper Annum in Advance. iir4 -t thi Poatotnoe at MoConmllsburg P., m aooDd-clki null matter. NOT TOE ONLY ONE. There Are Other SIcCoancllsbarg People Similarly Mtnatei Can there be any stronger proof offered than the evidence of McCoonellsburg residents? Af ter you have read the following, quietly answer the question. John P. Conrad, deputy post master, Main St, McConnells burg, says: "I had terrible pains accross my back and I didn't sleep well at muht. I was very nervous, and when I got op in the morning, I was more tired than when I went to bed. Doan'a Kidney Pills soon freed my back from pain." Over four years later, Mr. Con rad said: "I haven't needed any medicine for backache or kidney trouble sioce I used Doan's Kid ney PUls." Price 50c. at all dealers. Don't simply ask tor a Kidney remedy get Doan's Kidney Pills the same that Mr. Conrad has twice Eublicly recommended. Foster Iilhurn Co, Props., Buffalo, N. Y. Advertisement. Program of The C L. S. C For January First Week. 1. Roll call Quotations from Story of the week in Independ ent. 2 Cur treatment of the Indi ans; Fair or Unfair; Mrs. Stevens pro, Mrs. Hull, con. 3. Social Life before and after the Revolution Mrs. Peterman. 4 Three minutes sketch, Wil liam Cullen Bryant. Miss Har riet Sloan. 5 Review of chapter XXVI. Prof. Smith. 6 Review, by question, of chap ters XXVII and XXVIII con ducted by Miss Sophie Hohman. Second Week. 1. Roll CalL Favorite quota- t"ons. 2. Story of the Week in lode j indent. Mrs. Luring. 3 Paper, lias America a Caste Spirit? Mrs. McKibbin. 4 Reading. "A Man's a Man for a'lhat" by Robert Burns. Miss Mary Pittman. 5. General discussion of Chap ter I. 6. Sketch of Roberts and Bei rut College. Rev. Yeanck. 7. Review of Chapter II. Mrs Greathead. Third Week. 1. Roll CalL Story of the Week 2. Talk. Our national resoarc es and populations. Mr. Peter man. 3. Rousing Reform Mrs. Lur mg. 4. Review of Chapter III Mrs. Grove. 5. Review of Chapter IV. Mrs. Henry. 6. Medical Inspection in Pub lic Schools. Mrs Mosser. Fourth Week. 1. Roll CalL Favorite quota tions. 2. Story of the Week. Mrs. Stevens. 3. Religion In Business. Rev. Peterman. 4. Review of Chapter V. Prof Smith. 5. Review of Chapter VI. Mrs. Bartholomew 6 Influence of Foreign Mis sions on China. Miss Minnie Reisner. Local Institute. The fourth local institute of Thompson township was held at Independence school last Friday evening. Questions were: 1. Supplemen tary work; value of and how &iv en? 2. Civil Government: how tanght? 3. How can we better our attendance? Teachers present worp; H. VV. Wink, Denver Evans, Floyd Hart Thomas Trust, Levi Garland lUrvpyfiharpp, Etta Waltz Gert- rude Gulvin, R me Kjefpr, p, a e Pmhpr, Alice Brewer n.d M John Y.eattle Ahc R" r" c Shade Pittman and Dennufiv . rts, two of Thompson townships lirst rate citizenH. spent a (i-.tf houra in town' Mnrday. The Old, Old Subscriber. How dear to my heart are the old things in general, When fond recollection presents them to view; Old pewter, old linen, old friends and old china, Old books and old songs are far better than new. And old shoes for comfort (We need new ones badly) The old corncob pipe I shall always hold dear,- But the old, old subscriber, I mention him gladly, Ever faithful and true, he renews by the year. , The old, old subscriber, the dear old subscriber , The faithful old friend who renews every year. Old wine and old sweethearts, the older the better; ' The old folks at home-what is home without them? The old swimming hole it must not be forgotten The jewel of Memory's whole diadem; Old times and old customs, and e'en the old dances (We'll have to admit we cannot turkey trot) But the old institutions, if one must take chances, The old, old subscriber's the best of the lot. The old, old subscriber, the dear old subscriber, The paid up subscriber's the best of the lot new 0RF.NADA.- Union revival meetings are in progress at the Bethel church in charge of Rev. bpeese, or Mta- densville, assisted by Rev. Hill of Mount Union. ! Last Monday morning the Death Angel came into the home of Rosswell Staines and claimed their little 15 months old, daogh ; ter Lena Belle who baa been delicate all her life. Funeral ser vices conducted by Rev. Speese : were held in the Bethel church, and interment was made in the cemetery at that place. Mrs. Jacob Crider, who had been very iJ, is improving. Mrs. Jacob Black is home from a visit amonr relatives in Shade Gap. Daniel Everhart and son Ar thur and Richard Alloway of Six Mile Run are among the Nimrods at New Grenada deer hunting. Frank Thomas has erected a new stable on his lot, which adds a little more to our village. Dr. Campbell is kept busy look log after the sick people in this community. Mrs. A. D. Keith is on the sick list Dallas Keith and wife of Altoo na are spending a week with the former's parents, Mr. and Mrs James Keith. John Galbraith lost a horse last Wt36k. " Oar old reporter for the News L Cunningham, is expected be back in Fulton County for s Christmas dinner. SIDELING HILL Born Dec 11th to Mr. and Mrs Oliver Divelbiss, a daughter. Mrs. Nora Akers and son Ben son recently visited at Everett and Bedford. Reuben J. Lay ton and wife and Mrs. Cassie Winter visited at the home of Albert Deneen near to Need more a few days ago. James Truax, of Gem, spent part of last week with his pa rents, Mr. Job Truax and wife aear Need more. Mrs. Riley Garland and two sons of Hagerstown, Md., Hurry Lewis of Chicago, and Charles Lewis of Artemas, spent several days of last week with their broth er-in law and sister, Mr. and Mrs Charles 11 Hess. Sheriff-elect Job L Garland and Mr. Amos Plessinger autoed to the County seat recently in the latter 's Ford. Mrs. Charles Lynch of Everett visited in Whips Cove last week. William Fegley, of Pleasant Ridge, bought two March pigs from Baltzer Deshong last April, took pretty good care of them until the 19th of November, when he butchered them. The smaller dressed 367, and the larger, 385, Mr. Fegley never had them in a pen, but allowed them to run at large about the premises. rred G. Kimrneii, or near Stoyestown, Somerset county, has invented a reciprocating plow which promises to revolutionize farming. In place of being drag' ged through the ground with s constant drawbar pull, the new plow is driven backward and for ward by a piston rod of the steam engine. Judge Johnson, who presided over the courts in Huntingdon during the illness of Judge Woods sentenced seven persons for sell ing intoxicants illegally. Each of the miscreants was given months in jail and a fine of $500. Tuis makes 12 persons Judge Johnson sentenced for like of f nee in this judicial district the l ast month. "NELLl 2S The habit of giving gewgaws f Christmas Dresents is out of date We are 8Qrry to gay how. ever that the habit of giving Dresenta that are beyond the moans nf trip oivpr stirvi'vpa in , There are thous- d f instances where an axe i,nT-upf. np Bnmo nu e ' too, wou,d entrench more in the hearta o the re. ceiverg than frivolous ornament3. Seect ugefu, pregent3 , It is reported in McConnells burg that Mrs. Ernest Hixson, of Brush Creek Valley, made a mis take a few days. ago, and instead of taking headache powders as she supposed, she took a danger ous drug, and has been in a crit ical condition since. We made an effort to reach the family by tele phone yesterday, but the wretch- condition of the line made it im possible to get direct in formation. Evangelist Biederwolf, who conducted a very successful re vival in Chambersburg two years ago, closed a seven weeks' cam paign in York, Pa. last Sunday night The money raised on Sun day and given to the evangelist in appreciation of his services, was more than So, 000. 00. More than 3,700 persons were convert ed, and more than 8,000 persons istened to the closing sermon Sunday evening. PATS LATE 8UPPER. Pat had just arrived from tlie m erald Isle, and he ww feeling very hungry, as he had not eaten anything since (our o'clock, last evening, and It was now eight o'clock in the morn ing. So he went into a restaurant close by and asked the waiter bow much would he charge him for a breakfast 'One shilling," replied the waiter. "Well, how much will ye charge me for my dinner?" said Pat "One shilling and sixpence," replied the waiter. "Well, what will you charge me for my supper, then?" "Sixpence," was the reply. "Then, if ye please, will ye glre me my supper?" said Pat. Pearson s Weekly. Even the Toy Banks Do It "James," said Mrs. Flrstflat that night at the dinner table, "I want to talk to you about Bobby. He's at hla lessons now, so he can't Interrupt us, "Well, what about Bobby f asked Mr. Flrstflat as he carved the sirloin, "Why, he does such odd things with the little toy savings bank I bought him. Why, do you know, he Is keep ing money In It that belongs to a club!" "He is. Is he?" Puck. REFORMED. The One Did it do any good to pros ecute Littleton, the- coal dealer, for using fraudulent scales? The Other Yes. I hear that he's mended his weighs. The Reason. He liads a ltxy Ufa, that's true. And loafs Mil he'! aaptsd; ' But he works for n merchant who Has never advertised. Ocular Proof. Flnnegan Ye asked Mulligan phwat he thought av the Orangemen, did ye? An' did he tell ye? O'Brien (pointing to a black eye) No, he showed -me. Philadelphia Pub 11c Ledger. Properly Crushed. "Well," sneered her husband, "sup pose you get the ballot. What will be tno first thing you do?" , 'Order a voting costume, of course!" was her triumphant retort.- Puck. ' ref ul, ' 'i naa learacu iu ue. i"i I J A- V- oa therefore going slow in re gard to the widow. He had satisfied himself she could make the best of cheap soap. Her' pickled peaches were simply Immense. Her mince pies cured profanity in one week. She had no fear of rats or mice, and she could milk a kicking cow while you waited. The widow had some hundreds of dollars in the bank, and she owned her house free and clear. The Widow Moreton hadn't a pain or an ache not so much as a soft corn. ' 1 Both the deacon and the widow were members of the same church, but there was a difference in the way they lived their religions. The deacon knew that she had lib eral ideas, but he had let that matter alone. After marriage it could be debated and he would put his foot down. All being reudy at last, he called to bring about the climax. At the gate he was almost turned to stone, lie caught the strains of a fiddle from within the house. Not a jewsharp not a mouth organ not an accordion, but a regular fiddle-r-the thing old Satan invented to drag human souls down to perdition. The deacon braced against the shock and knooked on the door. The widow opened it. She had the ddle in her hand as bold as brass. "Why, good evening, deacon." lie glared at her in silence. "I was just practicing my exer cises. What s the matter t That-that fiddle!" "Yes, it's a fiddle, and I am going to learn to play. You seem aston ished." fiddle here in this house!" he gasped. "The Widow Moreton de scending to such depravity ! Why-why"- "I don't 6ee your point, deneon," she said as she laid the instrument aside. "What is there wrong about my learning to play the fiddle?" '"It is played at dances!" "Yes?" "And no true Christian will dance 1" "But in some congregations the fiddle is played as an accompaniment to the singing of the choir." "Then Satan will get every soul in such congregations !" "If you came here this evening to kick up a fuss over a harmless fiddle you can go away again !" "I can and will! Thank heaven, it is not too late! We are not pledged!" t "And I, too, am thankful for that!" The average man might be warned a hundred times over, that in a Bcrap with a wdmnn he loves he is sure to get the worst of it, and yet he will persist in bluffing. The deacon halt ed at the gate to give the widow a chance to call him back, but the door remained shut. Another queer thing about the av erage man is that when he has made a fool of himself and knows he has he won't admit it. He just keeps right on laying the blame to the other party, and for a time will draw some cousolation from it. The d'aeon did, but after a week he thought to strengthen his position by .coiiy to his pastor and asking: "Pailor, doesn't our religion teach us fhat the fiddle is- a thing to be war,; of?" "Xo, I can hardly say that it doc," was the reply. "But if a womon learns to play the fiddle? persisted the deacon. "Many of them do." . . "But, pastor, the Bible don't men t-ion that thev have fiddles in heaven, It only speaks of harps." "I know, Brother Pejtram, but I'm not so sure that they didn't call fiddle a harp in those ancient days, presume that at least a round dozen of our congregation have pianos in their parlors. Are any of them going to discord the instruments because the Good Book doesn't mention that they are in use in paradise?" ... The deacon went home and kicked the woodshed door because the dog wasn t handy. ' , , The good man struggled with him s?If for a couple of days and then de cided to meander past the widow's house. He would not stop, but just meander. But he did slop when he reached r.uT.wTf go by myself I And go she did, when the day came, and the deacon was so mad about it that he wouldn't even stand at his gate and see the elephants go past He continued mad for three days and then went to his pastor. "Did you preach a sermon against that circus last Sunday? I was not feeling well and was not at church." "Why, no, I didn't, was tlic reply. "Did you warn the people that Satan was luring them?" "Brother Pegram, I was there with my whole family!" "You you can t mean if! ' "But I do. Yes, we were there and saw both the circus and the menagerie and if Satan was around he was in a back cage somewhere !" But, pastor but ' stammered the deacon. "And I am going to the ball gams tomorrow!" . ' The deacon groaned. "And if we can get a moving pic ture show here I shall attend !" Deacon Pegram walked straight from the pastor's house to that of the Widow Morcton's, and without wait ing to remove his hrft or sit down he said : "Widow, I love you !" "Yes? How about the fiddle and the circus?" "Yes, and mebbe a barn dance !" "Then I say 'yes.'" Boston Globe. THE CEN80R. Mayor Baker of Cleveland, in de fense of a pplitical movement that had been attacked, said the other day: "Irs an honest movement and a straightforward movement, and they who attack it are as censorious as the" Seabright old maid. "A Seabright old maid was talk ing to a sunburnt college boy on the beach. A pretty girl passed and the old maid said: "There goes Minnie Summers. You tookVher to the hop last eve ning, didn't you ?" "'Yes,' said the college boy; and he added politely, 'As I was taking leave of Miss Summers after the hop, it dawned upon me-' " 'It dawned !' said the old maid. 'You kept her out till dawn! That's what these new dances lead up to !' " HEARD AX BULLETIN BOARD. . "Them Rooshins can lick the Os triches any day in the week." "I'll bet the Germans'!! be in Ber lin before the new year." "John, dear, has war really boon declared or is it merely another of those horrid newspaper stories?" "If the Germans capture London, do I think the Oirish will lean toward the Orangemen ? They will, with a club in their hand, and they'll lean heavy like." "Move on, please ! Keep the side walk clear." Philadelphia Ledger. ONE THING 8HE FORGOT. "I had a twelve-page letter from Maud today. All about the gay times she's having at the seashore." "I'll bet she didn't forget any thing." "Yes, she did. She forgot to put enough postage on the envelope." . v AVALANCHE3 ON ORDER. By means of electric mines placed deep in the congealed neves mantling the crests of the Swiss Alps, ava lanches are being manufactured to order for the benefit, of moving pic ture photographers and others who find the sport attractive enough to pay- the prices charged. , The mines are connected by cable with a mag neto in the vailey, and when all is ready a push of the control lever ful minates a largo quantity of gunpow der up on the side of the mountain and down comes the artificial ava lanche with all the terrifying rush and roar of a natural landslide. AGGRESSIVE ART. "I rather like the old-fashioned novelist who sometimes paused to allude in a deferential way to the 'gentle reader.' " "Yea," replied Mr. Ten wiggle; "but it's a dangerous practice. It's likely to make readers critical. What you want to do is to give the reader so much 'pep' and 'ginger and so many 'punches' and 'knockouts' that he won't have enough courage or en ergy left to form an opinion." No Causa for Alarm. "According to the latest estimates," growled the pessimist, "our population Is Increasing so rapidly that the land will soon be inadequate for the support of the people." "Ob, don't let a little thing like that push you off the aqua pura chariot Our medical colleges can easily double their output If the country gets over crowded." Of Course. ' "I suppose you read the statement made by a college president the other day that automobiles are demoralizing more students than alcohol?" "Yes, I read It, but I don't agree with him." "Why not?" "For the simple reason that alcohol Is within reach of the average student, while an automobile Is not." The Reason. ' His Fiancee Papa will make his settlement the same day we are mar ried, the 19th. The Count Come, dear, let us get married on the 17th, Ills Fiancee Is that the anniversary of some great historic event In your family? . The Count No; but I have a note due on tho 18th. Puck. Stimulating the Memory. Wife Why are you strapping ut my trunk? I'm not going away till tomorrow. Hub So you'll have time to gather up all the things you've forgotten. You never find those things, you know, until after your trunk Is locked and strapped. BETTER FIT. Rcggy De Sapp Weally now, dont you think I'd make a good fullback? Football Captain A straight front would be more in your line, my boy. Poor Business Men. In dnys of old, when knlRhts were bold, They had some goodly fights, But they were chumps; they never sold The movlng-plcture rights. Very Thoughtful. Kumme Is your wife saving? Backe Very; when she sees any loose tobacco under my writing table she sweeps It up .carefully In a dust pan and puts It back In the tobacco jar. The Pity of It Mr. Qabti Freshmen at the Unl verslty of Pennsylvania are-forbldden to smoke cigarettes. Fond Mother Oh, dear me! Now Oswald won't get a bit of exercise. A 8ymphony of Color, Maid Which wig shall I have read for madam to wear tonight at the gar den party? Madam The green one, certainly! Fllegende Blaetter (Munich). Familiar Sounds. "Say, did you ever bear .the famous rebel yell?" , . "Ever hear It? Don't pur baby give It every night when we want blm to go to sleep?" Naturally. "Things were getting too warm foi me in that section of the country." "What was the reason?" "I was burning up too many of the roads." Perhaps He Would. "I led my class In Greek three sue cesslve years." "That's fine. But wouldn't you much rather have carried the ball sixty-five yards for a touchdown, Just once?" Mean Luck. . "I got a rum deal at the restaurant lunch counter yesterday." "What was the mm deal?" "Wasn't any In tho mince pie." No Bears. "Language Is a queer thing. Too i speak of our forbears." . "Yes." "And yet you Insist that we are de scended from monkeys." To Be Expected. - "The aviators have put another old saying out of commission." . "What's that?" ' "The one about a bomb from a clear kjr." , - . ,T American Ad d i n g AND L i s t i ng M a chine fdght column capacity) Price $88.00 P. O. B. May wood, IlL Sold on one year's credit or 3 per cent, discount for cash. MAIL COUPON TODAY American, Can Company Chicago, 111. Please send booklet descrip tive of American Adding and Listing Machine. Addrena Clipped from NEWS McConnellsburg, Pa. BOY DIRECT AND SAYE MOSEY Double Service Auto Tires Guaranteed 7000 Miles Service Proof Against Puncture Double the thickness of the best I standard makes of tires; average 10 or I 12 layers of strong fabric, plus nearl; one Inch of tough tread rubber. W1 per cent, greater wearing depth and double the mileage, .besides being practically puncture-proof. Unequalled for severe service or rough and rugged roads, hard pave ments and other places where tire troubles cannot be tolerated. Ride si easy as an ordinary pneumatic air space and pressure being the sane. - Used in IJ . S. 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