WILL NOT PITCH UNLESS RIGHT ON EDGE j allege player bio asset TH Q If XI -hv WILBUR. D NLPBrr 1) .,11 "Paw Met Me at the Kitchen and Sed to Be Careful." Dora Is having a nawful rakket Crampaw wudent let paw holed a Are cracker In his fingers while It wont of 4:43 a. m. Paw and grampaw still fussln. 5 a. m. Willie Grene who llvs nex dore has Just got up an come owt to .uch of his flerwurks. 5:02 a. m. Mr. Grene has come owt an toled Willie he better be calrful. 5:03 a. m. Mr. Grene Is showln Willie bow to tuch of his flerwurks. 5:30 a. m Grampaw stuk a bunch of firecrackers In bis pokket. while ha aa tellln paw abowt how thay use to shute of anvils when he was a boy. "Grampaw Jumped over the bak fenae and hollered bluddy murder. He dlden't know the Are crackere he put In his pokket was lited." fence. He sed grampaw Jumped like 5-43 a. m. Maw Is up. She maid She Bez tey wont be enny ing me In. fust. 7 a. m. Paw fell of the poerch ware he was trying to nale up the big (lag. He cot his pants leg In the wire whare the clemaUls vine Is an tore the vine down also his pants leg. I got whipped, paw sed it was my folt. 10 a. m. I crlde till maw sed for sudness sake wllyum give the bdy his fler crackers an let him kill hisself If be wonts to. I have set of a hole bunch mlself. 10:45 a. m. Paw come owt an be gun showln me agen how to shute them. I knode he wud. 11 a. m. Grampaw come out leenln on a caln and stood arownd a while an then him an paw got Into a nuther rakket abowt tow to shute of fler crackers. , 11:30 a. m. Grampaw has burn both hans an the doktor Is here. 11:45 a m Paw has set down on a big fler crater. He got up rite away but not sune enuff. The Doktor has 12 m. The tier engines hav Jest left, lne rume to surprise maw. It did. 9 p. down to sit iw vuss. gud n rti pi IP ft Ill to ni' in : . , - i uv umi I ill ' :, Ill li 1 "I Have to Stay Up a While to Go fur the Doctor.' TONE POEM. On lilnh th rorkMs gleam nnd slur Anil Irt'lrsoent IinKlfS rIuiiim Athwart the homiin of the ulr Kull Juweled with their radiance. Below the bursting of the bombs Which on the sidewalk dart nnd dance Tolls that the sulphury perfumes Soon will t lie twIllKht air enhance. And now thero conies a rlnislnn clang; And honflieuts ns the charniTS prance It Is the warnlim blnul and ban! Made by the. speeding ambulance. Often So. W burn our money on the Fourth nut then the year Is full of rt(ys On which without exertlnf much We burn our money other ways. The ordinary man does not car who makes the fireworks of a nation so long as he can show the children how to set them off. Fane Alarm. "Gazing down the dim vista of the future," cried the Impassioned Fourth of July orator, "what do we see? W see freedom struggling against the shacklea of anarchy! We see Justice defying the onslaughts of Injustice) We see Independence again rising in lta might and shnklng off the" "You're off, mister," interrupted a hearer, whose eyes had followed the dlreotlon df the orator's forefinger. "That's Hank Jones, the town mar shal, nrrwMln' mil Bplvvcr for his Yeg"T Fourth of July drunk." lgJoJones A. M. Oot up. Sllned down to back yard to sot of ml fler crackers. Paw nfet me at kitchen dure and Bed to bee calrfule. Shode trte how to lite the fews 4:30 a. m. Grampaw come downstarea. Sed he cudden't slepe with such a titrable rak ket goln on. 4:35 a. m. Clrampaw sed to paw. Ml gudneus wllyum you dont know ennythlng abowt settln of firecrackers. I.enime show you. 4:38 a. m. Paw an grnmpaw 5:31 a. m Grampaw Jumped over the bak fense an holl.red bluddy mur der; be dident kno the Her crackers he put In his pokket was lited. Thay wbb. I knode It. I trlde to tel him but he sed lltel boys shud be sene aa not hurd. Grampaw run up an down the alley 2 or 3 times until paw an Mr. Grene got the garden hoes turned on him an put hlra out. 5:35 a. m Paw still showing ma how to tuch of Are crackers. Grampaw has gone in the hous to get dry cloee. Paw Is telling Mr. Grene bow It hap pened that grampaw put the crackers in his pokket. 5:40 a. m Paw sent me In the hous becos I laffed abowt the way he toled abowt the way grampaw Jumped the a Jak rublt. paw come in an skoleded blf rer send more lire cracker sbutln till after brek- "Paw Set Down on Cracker!" Fire come bark. Paw sez he will whip me. Paw thru a fler cracker In the din- m. Me an Willie Green has been town to see the fler wurks. He bas up all nite to put sody an oil on hla s nans and I nave to stay up a wuiio go for the doktor agane If paw gets urampaw is still tawkin abowt the ole times. WILBUR D. NESBIT FATAL DAY. "Had a permature explosion of flreworka In our town the Fourth Caused a terrible stampede." "Had a stampede in our town, too." "Fireworks explode there?" "No. Happened before dark. Dur ing the speaking exercises tho chair man announced unexpectedly that Mr, Loncfellow Tennyson Scruggs was about to read an original poem con posed especially for the occasion." An Anatomical Mistake. "Pardon' me," Bald Mrs. Justgottlt, to her callers. "It la growing so dark I believe I will ring for the livers." "For the what?" exclaimed the call' era. "Now, Just listen to me! Of course I meant ring for the lights. A body does get so twisted sometimes, doesn' she?" cjufte ofte. the boy who cerebrates the Fourth, by tying a bunch of fire crackers to a dog's tall grows Into the man who delivers the spread engie oration on the same dy. "I'm full of American shplrlt!" 'you are.?' asked his wife, wlih a shruf, "You're full, for a fact, but I fear It Is spirit that eomes from a Ju." A Fourth of July luncheon Is all the more enjoyable If tho guests Join In blowing up somo niutmil friend who U not present a Big - far" s 4 - R-f ' A I J I j jJmw i-.u.ken l-oro, consistent A greater number of pitchers will be employed by the major league clubs this year than ever before. Sev- ral managers bad more than fifteen pitchers at the southern camps, and II the team leaders declare they will carry an extra supply of box men. The demand for pitching material has developed Into a mnnla which is fat tening the expense accounts of the magnates to an alarming degree. Pitchers nowadays complain that they are overworked If they take part In more than one or two games a week. Some of them Insist that they must have at least four or five days' rest after a siege of nine Innings, no matter how easy the opposing team may be. That is why the club own- era and managers feel compelled to carry so many pitchers, even though TOOK OFF BABY BLUE SHIRT Wild" Bill Donovan Cheats Baseball Writers Out of Paragraph by Duffing Under Garment. BUI Donovan cheated the quill-fak ers out of a parnsraph In a recent game witb the Champion Athletics. "Wild" Bill Donovan. All season Dill has been wearing a baby Hue undergarment. The wires were all laid to announce, In caBe BUI went bad at his flrBt appearance, that "he had nothing but a blue under shirt." Dut Dill doffed the shirt be fore be starttd to hurl. Dill's 1911 debut was not an aus picious one. Philadelphia players took an early fancy to hla curves. Anvwav. the Athletics were certainly In a hitting mood and Dill suffered what other Tiger pitchers encoun tered. Lamy Makes Good In Baseball. Edmund Lamy, who for six years was the undisputed champion of America on skates on the ice, bas made good In his first attempt at pro fessional baseball, opening the sea aon at center Bold for the Mansfield team of the Ohio and Pennsylvania league. Manager Hahn, formerly of the White Sox, believes he has a And tn th Baranao lake player. highland Twlrler. more than half of them are not flrst class. Christy Mathewson Is an exception to the rule. He Is willing to pitch as often as McGraw calls upon blm, but It must be remembered, too, that Matty Is said to be drawing 112,000 a year. Russell Ford, who will earn a big salary this season, will not pitch unless he Is physically ready. That Is an agreement he made a year ago with President Farrell. of the High landers. "When I go In I want to be right on edge," says Ford. "Then there can be no excuses and I'll come pret ty near winning every game I pitch." Ford won 26 games and lost 6 last year, working along on these lines, and as results count he will be al lowed to follow this policy again. catering DiamondL The fates seem kind to "Plug Bodle. Clark Griffith's bosses still have con fidence in him. "Dad Bill" Dah!en seems to be build ing up a real ball team. Mordecal Drown continually demon strates he Is the nervy pitcher of old. Every time the ball meets that bat It adds to the enjoyment of the game. Perhaps Hank O'Day la right In at tributing sume of the hitting to poor pitching. Young Cy Young appears an unex pectedly strong addition to Duff's twirling staff. The lack of a veteran catcher Is troubling Manager Stovall of the Cleveland team. Muggsy McGraw's famous fighting team apparently forgets considerable baseball at times. Manager Chance win have some thing to say before "Lefty" Pussell goes to the minors. The more drastlo the measures tak en against scalpers, however, the bet ter the public likes It. Cy Young Is never likely to go out of the American league so long aa the old-time fans remain. President Lynch says the only In structlons he gives his umpires are tlio.se published In the rule book. FanB want to see the hitting game and they do not wish to lose their dinners by waiting for the flniBh. "King" Cole Is acquiring Reulbach'a habit of pitching masterly In one game and "blowing up" In the following, Mrs. Helen Hathaway Itoblson Drlt- ton does not care to sell her ball team as long as they are playing good ball Jack Coombs Is now pitching hla best game and the Athletics are climb ing pretty fast Connie Mack Is begin ning to smile In the same way he smiled last summer. Jimmy McAleer wants to make an outfielder of Catcher Eddie Alnsmlth. His hitting Is too valuable to have him sitting on the bench for even a single day. Nap Rucker would be a great addi tion to Managr Chance's collection of pitchers. He would be worth all of that $15,000 that President Murphy Is willing to give for him. The cork center ball Is blamed for a lot of things that It Is not respon sible for. One dopesmlth has figured out that the new ball Is responsible for the extraordinary number of In juries this year. Through Discipline and Educational Advantages They Are Amen , able to Suggestions. President Thomas J. Lynch of the National league of baseball cluba be lieves that the college baseball play er who demonstrates bis ability to play fast ball Is a valuable asset to a big league club, and In an Interview In the Yale News gives his reaaona. Lynch says, among other things, that the college players bring with them from the college campus that spirit of true sportsmanship and de termination to win which they bar learned In college. Through disci pline and educational advantages they are particularly amonable to sugges tions and easy to manage. As a rule they come to the clubs In excellent physical condition and understand thoroughly both the necessity and the methods necessary to maintain such form. Their whole career bas been one of Instruction, which enables them to grasp th finer points In baseball as played In the big leagues and the futility of attempting to transgress the rules and regulations laid down to preserve the Integrity of the game. PFI ESTER VICTIM OF J0XERS How Discarded Cub Southpaw Was Driven Out of Major Leagues- Nothing Wrong With Him. How Jack Pflester, discarded south paw of the Cubs, was Imposed upon by scheming foes and kidded out of the major leagues by the mental sug gestion process Is a story that leaked out the other day. It goes away back to the training trip days, wben Jack went all the way from New Orleans to Chicago to see If the valves In his heart were In proper working order. Eminent physicians, after careful ex amination of Jack's ticker. Informed him that It was still true to him and that he could go back In the game as sured of Its pumping qualltlne. Jack returned to the game reas sured with normal pulse and good color, but It was shortly after this when he became the victim of a cruel conspiracy that eventually sent him to the minors. Players on visiting teams who bad read of Jack's trip to Chicago In the Interests of his pumping station, but who still feared the possibilities of Pflester's efficient left whip, would stroll up to him before the game be gan and remark kindly, even affec tionately, that he looked sick. And the funny thing about it was that Jack Jack Pflester. foil for It, worried himself out of form and condition and finally out of the league. He started calling on the club physicians again and, despite their op timistic reports, weakened under the series of sympathetic remarks of the conspirators. KNOCK ON BASEBALL SLANG College Game or "Murderous" Expres sions Accompanying It Should Be Abolished, Says Professor. College baseball, or the "murderous" slang expressions that accompany It, should be banished from the earth, according to Dr. John S. Nollln, presi dent of Lake Forest college. He quoted the following as some of the terms that so greatly grate upon bis sensitive ears: "Kill the umpire." "When did you leave the farm?" " 'Taln't no strike, get off the dia mond," and "you ought to pitch hay." "I feel that If some of the barbarity of the game Is not abolished, the game should be. I am astonished at the conduct of Lake Forest students. When the Mllllken pitcher gave a base on balls everybody Jeered him. It was most ungentlemanly. Most! "This is due to the Inroads of pro fessional baseball on the college. Con duct of students at football games Is becoming better and at baaeball games Is worse." Derogatory Remarks Barred. Fans In Columbus will no longer be able to make derogatory remarki to players during games. A fan roasted Second Haseman O'Rourke when he erred, telling him "to kick another one and go to the hoBplta! where he belonged." A policeman arrested the fan and threw him out of the park. Detectives will be placed throughout tie crowd at all games hereafter and Insulters will be taken to the gate, handed their money and told to move on. WHY DRINK AIDS MENTALITY 8ome Men Do Their Bust Thinking Under Influence of Liquor Because Nerves Have Been Weakened. We wish to answer seriously a seemingly flippant Inquiry, omitting, of course, the signature of the writer, says the New York American. "Will you tell me bow I manage to think my most beautiful thinks In drink?" Some men really do their best work under the Influence of drink for this reason: Drink has weakened their nerves and put their constitutions and vitality below pur. They do tbelr best work when they drink, Just as a poor, thin, abused, tired cart horse does his best work when he Is lashed with a whip. This does not speak well for the whip, does It? It does not prove that the lashing of the horse Is a noble- process or the whip an admirable Instrument. It simply proves that If you abuse an unfortunate creature and render him unfit for work, you must abuse him still more to get a little work out of him. You think your most beautiful thoughts In drink for various rea sons. In the first place, when you drink you are quite easily pleaded, and you are pleased most easily with yourself. If you were sober, your thoughts would not seem so beautiful to you. Often what you think In drink you would be very sorry to hear repeated In your dull, sober hours. In the second place, feeling Is es sential to any strong thinking. It Is essential to the expression of any strong emotion. The man who drinks hard or even comes to rely to any ex tent upon drink has dead nerves and a dead Imagination when hla drink time Is over. Drink sets the heart to beating; It sets the blood to pumping through the brain; it stimulates the mysterious combustion of matter which results In thought, and emotion becomes stronger In proportion to the strength that accompanies this combustion. The coward wants to fight when be Is drunk He has some feollng. The dull mind gets Imaginative. It has some feeling. This does not glorify the coward or make the dull mind bet ter. It usually makes both ridiculous and pathetic, In addition to being cowardly and dull. Stop drinking for six months, sleep two hours more per day than you sleep at present, take In more fresh air. think steadily and soberly instead of talking boisterously, as you probably do now. We venture to predict that you will soon find springing up In your bead some very acceptable "thinks" with which drink will have nothing to do. High Purpose Not Enough. It Is not enough to have the right lim or purpose In what we do. We nay have the aim or purpose of Christ himself, yet do great harm. Our nieth da os well as our aim must be right. When we would be used of Christ to jrlng others to him, for example, It Is possible actually to misrepresent him by criticizing or condemning those whom we would reach, or by trying to :rowd them Into a decision that must be mude In free will ornot at all, and thus to antagonize them and drive them further away from Christ than ever. Our purposo Is good, but our methods defeat It. This does not meun that we should therefore aban don our efforts at soul winning; for the worst mistake in that work Is not the mistake of doing it wrongly but of not doing It nt nil. It does mean, however, tliot we should nsk our Iord himself to show us how to do his will, quite us much as what his will Is. In Christ's service, as In all else, let us work and pray to do aright "what our hands And to do." Beer Drinking and Longevity. Insurance doctors are much against beer drinking. Dr. Rogers of the New York Life, In reference to beer, says: "Recently I had occasion to make some study of what happens nmong persons engaged In the manufacture of beer. My cases Included not only the work men engaged In breweries, but also he proprietors of breweries. It Is a !urtousVact that the mortality among ho proprietors is about as high as among the workmen, showing that .hey are nil given to coplods libations. The mortality Is strikingly low among Drawers In enrly years. Up to forty or thereabout, brewers seem to be about as good risks as pretty much anybody else. After forty the mor tality rises very high, and I should say thot nt fifty-flve or sixty years of ago about three brewers may be ex pected to die where one average per son dies." South Sea Islands Temperate. There are three Islands tn the South Faclflc, namely: The Pltcnlrn Island, Inhabited by the descendants of the mutineers of the "Hounty"; the Nor folk Island, a hundred miles to the south of the Pltcalrn, Inhabited by the overflow population from Pltcalrn, and tho Corsus Keeling iBlnnds, all of which are run on teetotal principles. No spirits are used, and the few ships that vjait them are not allowed to land any spirits. These are all under English rule, and the governor of ench Island 'dictates what the Inhabitants shall do. . These are Ideal places for the Inebriate, particularly In the ab solute freedom from all spirits. Who Keep the Saloons? It la sometimes sold that the ma jority of our saloonkeepers are of for eign birth. This Is no doubt true. We observed the names of 192 which were published in the papers of this city recently, together with the names of their sureties. It is safe to say that nine out of every ten names was a foreign names, says a Detroit ex change. There was scarcely ay one that was unmistakably American or English. The brewers' names mat ap peared bo often as bondsmen were forelgd. One brewer's name appeared on 18 bonds, and another on 15. I used to make dresses for women mj Slrls, With sklrte that were wondrous wltn swishes and whirls: I used to dellKht In deslicnlne; a wi!n That typified art and exempli fled U:tie liut O. what change 'twlxt the now and the then! The womenfolks all let their duili-i made by men. The men take their measures and help choose the stuffs And argue them out of the rufll.-a and puffs. The men make their skirts with a mas culine hann- And I, as I think of It. suffer a fn Why, would you believe It? Or. s.ir don't you rare? The men now are trimming the bunndi they wear! The Jackets o'er them how my very sojI Brieves! They're naught but men's coals as to col lars and sleeves And pockets and tails and The tit ol the back! They have no more fit than an old dress ing sack! The skirts that the men make- What else would they do? They're trousers with one leg Instead ot the two! But women go In for the man-fashioned things; My custom has vanished as though upon wings. t weep for my profits. I weep for my sex, I weep over problems that fret and per plex. O, where Is the woman once Joyous t see? The woman who had all her things maJi by me. But what Is the use to make moan and repine? I'll. go to a painter and get me a slun. If men will make dresses and Jaclteu and skirts Then I will make trousers, and vests, coats and shirts! Ah, treacherous cousins and sisters and aunts, I'll hand tout a sign: "Wear MatllJa-Mads Pants!" A Friendly Comment. The composer Is playing bU comic opera score for the candid friend. The composer has hammered out the choruses and the solos, auu i no doing the overture for the second act The lUtener has noted In a vague 'y that about most of the numbers there la a hnuntlng famlllarlty-fometblng that smacks of Wagner, and I.lszl n4 Sousa. and Herbert, and many others. "Now. this," says the composer, the andante movement." He plays It through. "What do you think of It?" lie aski. "Thnt was the andante, was it. "Yes." "Then the other pieces must nave been the andantedlluvlan movements. Biff I "A new and novel Idea for an after noon affair?" asks Mrs. Justgottlt of Mrs. Peddygrelgh, "O I enn suggest very clever plan. Let us have a spring hounecleanlng party. Let us Inviw all our set and hnve them don aprons and take mops nnd brooms and dust era and clean the house!" The suggestion Is hailed gladly W tho others of the 400. Whereat tM originator of dinners to monkeys a m doll parties and similar Joyous affairs Jealously remarks: "And Mrs. Justgottlt will l" very one to take charge of sucn function, won't she?" Unhappy Statement. "My oniy option w yo man." says the father. youth who has proposed for bl. aW ter. "Is that he doesn't seem W h the least bit of sense or fs "llut," answers the mother, ben a. much sense as you had ben MSfound,,thSsJSI object to MAd It rented a new bunches of roses nnd much ear talk to squnre matters. Guessed It At Once. .What." asked the young the witty eyes anu iu - ( of one who acknowledge, hi be the life or tne pu.w. -difference between me ana a bale hay?" 0,,nden' tW "Why, Mr. Fooiisn. young womnn wltn ' " sboei, Lrow and the common sense "no horse would eat you- U., for Celluloid rtrit Cutlery makers n She " filDg) that a demand ex sts or " ,M and sawlngs of celluloid us manufacture of knElty bel greatly in excess of the q 'gottl, produced. Until a fe ye form of scrap was thro u (l useless, and as he ,a tremely Inflammable, its t a troublesome matter. ' ol in to be used In the "'""f fetcM ferlor grades of celluto Id. dl,n from 3d to Bd a po J (flf 0, ,-ew uses have now been m dust.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers