0e Ran the House For Pa Eastman While the Women Were Away. (W, R. ROSr. In Cleveland Plain Dealer.) It was late In the afternoon when the door bell rang. Thomas Eastman ,egretfully put down his book and ent to the door. ' a tall young man confronted him. The young man smiled. He wag a pleasant faced young man, who wore , jomewhat dingy business suit and a lott hat. I am a stranger In the city, sir," t began. Thomas Eastman smiled grimly, You are, or you wouldn't come to ." The young man smile broadened. I am not seeking pecuniary assist ance," he said. "All I desire Is a lit tle advice." Thomas Eastman stared at him. What's the game?" he asked. "I read the papers pretty carefully, but this seems to be a new one." I should be Borry If It became com mon," sald tne yung man. There was something winning ahout the young man's smile. The older man felt drawn to him. -Come in," he said. "I'm a little hard pressed Just now for schemes to illl lime. Perhaps you can help me out." "Nothing at the present moment could give me greater pleasure," said the young man. "Sit down," said Thomas Eastman. But don't palaver. I'm not the sort of man that a fine line of talk can Influence." "Then yon wouldn't care for the story of my life?" said the stranger. The older man looked at him keenly. "The standard works of fiction are quite enough for me," he caid in his abrupt way. "And now tell me what you want and don't twaddle." The young man ran his hand through his thick hair. "I cannot conceal a natural embar rassment," he began. "Pooh, pooh," cried the older man. "Don t attempt to conceal the non existent. Speak right out.". "Thank you for your kind encour agement," said the stranger. He hes itated a moment. "I know that I am occupying nn unpleasant position. It prejudices you against me." "It doesn't' take a mind reader to find that out," grumbled the older man. "You are a business man, sir, a nan familiar with the ways of the world, with Us weaknesses and Us limitations." I admit it. (Jo ahead. I am a business man." 1 "But retired." "Eh! Who told you that?" The postman." ,' The old man growled. "If the United States Covernment has begun to spread the news I sup pose there Is no use splitting words over it. I have retired from busi ness. I'm sixty years old and fancy I ve done my full share of work, " I had a chance to Bell out and I sold iow i mean to enjoy myself in a quiet way, of course. Does this suf- . ficlently supplement, the postman's official Information?" I The young man nodded. "Yes, thank you," he said. "And being put of business myself al though not for the same reason 1 had an Impression that you might favor me with your sympathy. The older man suddenly laughed. "That's good," he cried. "The man ho has battled with work all his life 1 appealed to by a man who avoids It You have a keen sense of humor, my young friend." The stranger bowed. i trust you didn't turn In your own sense of humor as a transferable asset, sir, when you sold out." The older man smiled grimly. I still have It with me." he said. "Otherwise you wouldn't be sitting there. But, come, you said you want d my advice. Speak up." The stranger's face suddenly brightened. "I hoped you would tell me, sir," be said,' "where I can stay all night. My funds are rather low and It Isn't asy for a stranger to obtain employ ment at once." He paused with his dark .eyes on the older man's face. , There was a brief silence. "How old are you?" "Twenty-eight." "Who Is yjur favorite novelist?" "Dickens." Which of his stories do you en joy the most?" . " 'Nicholas Nickleby.' " The older man stared at his visitor. You can stay here tonight," he muttered. "Thank you," said the stranger. "I don't want to be a burden," he added. What can I do to make myself use ful?" , i The old nan suddenly laughed. "Are you u handy man, youngster?" "I think no. I've knocked around quite a little." chance to read during the last twenty years and I thought I would enjoy working about the lawn and the gar den. I determined, too, that I would keep myself cook for myself and feed myself. And when they laughed and protested I became all the more determined. I know it worried them. They both hated to leave me alone. But I am a man of decision. What's your namer-young man?" "George. "A man of decision, George. Of course my wife would worry It's the first tlmo we have been separated since we were married. But, of course, that dofif.n't Interest you. Come out and take a look at my kitchen." The stranger followed the older man to the rear apartment. A mo ment later he took off his coat and hung It on a convenient hook. He fastened an apron about his neck and went to work. The old man stared at him for a moment. Then he looked at his watch. "Five-thirty," he said. "While you are cleaning up things, George, I'll get the dinner." "Going to throw in a dinner with the night's lodging?" the young man asked. The older man chuckled. "It Isn't going to be a dinner that need disturb your conscience any," se said. "It will be much more apt to unsettle your digestion." And he suddenly laughed. "What's the mat ter with me?" he cried. "That's the first tlmo I've laughed In a week." The young man filled the teakettle at the faucet over the sink. He Btared about him at the piles of grimy dishes and pans and culinary utensils scattered about ia all stages of disorder. Then he fell to whistling. The older man paused and looked at htm, frying pan in hand. "That's a fln, whistle you have, youngster," lie said. "I never could learn the trick." The whistle suddenly stopped. prudence to the winds," he said. "I did It when I decided I'd keep house. I'm going to do It again. I don't know anything about you, boy. You may have learned to cook and wash dishes In a reformatory, but I'm go ing to ask you to stay here with me and we'll camp out together. What do you say?"' The young man suddenly laughed. "I'd like it first rate," he said. "How's the coffee?" "Never tasted better. Where did you learn how to make It If the answer doesn't incriminate you?" "In India. They make It very well over there." The old man stared at him. "Pretty far fetched," he said. "Andt where did you get the eggs and the' other things?" "At the grocer's near the railway crossing. I told him the things were for you and he trusted me." The older man shook his head. 1 "You're a dangerous man, George," he said, "but I can't help admiring your nerve. Get that In India, too?" And he laughed until he choked and was forced to take another cup of the excellent coffee. "With your approval there will bo two or three reforms inaugurated here," the young man said. "In the first place, we must find another mllk mau. This one is getting careless. And I've given the Iceman warning. If he attempts to work another light weight fifty-pound piece on us there is going to be trouble. I had a talk with him this morning." "Not with that big hulk of a fellow with the curly hair?" "He's big and hfs hair Is curly. He didn't like my Interference. In fact, he was rather ugly about It. I had to bump his head against the side of the house to make him listen to reason. If you heard the nolBO, that's what It was. I was sorry afterwarc)s that I did it." The older man stared at him. "I'd have given n tenner to have seen you do it, boy," he Bald with keen regret. "I never liked that big ruffian. You go right ahead and do all the reforming you can, George and the next time there's any fun In It don't forget to call me." So this oddly assorted pair took up the cares of housekeeping together, and they made merry work of It. For two weeks their quaint partnership lasted and then it was suddenly dissolved. HI .SK c yv iiJ -y - HaiiiBBi y6AANJ mm Mrs. Hire in Charge. Mrs. Isaac L. Rice, of New York, was chosen at the recent conference in London of the International So ciety for the Supresslon of Street Noises to have charge of the second congress of the society, which Is to be held In New York City In 1912. The first congress is to meet in Ber lin in June, 1910. New York Sun. Outdoor Sports. The girls of the Boston public schools are to have an opportunity of taking part In outdoor sports on the same terms as their brothers when the school term begins this, autumn. Outdoor games and gymnastics will be made part of the curriculum Just as soon as playgrounds for girls can be fitted up. Bast ball, basketball, running, Jumping and all sorts of other games will ba taught. New York Sun. . - Ballooning Advocated. The Hon. Mrs. Assheton Harbord, of England, mnintalns that balloon ing is not only less dangerous but also far less expensive than motor ing. She was once caught in nn elec tric storm while crossing the English Channel In a balloon, and on another occasion was obliged to make a de scent at such speed that the members of her ballooning party entered Hol land on their heads. In neither in stance did Mrs. Hnrbord or any of her party experience anything worse than a severe shaking up. New York Sun. We forget that silence is golden sometimes. To be miserly Is another, for the world says: "The love of money is the root of all evil." A miser hi the poorest person on eartb In the sight of his Maker. Give and it shall e given you, good measure pressed down and running over. If you are miserly fight it to the death or you will wish you had some tlmo. There are many other besetting sins too numerous to mention, such as drinking, smoking, gambling and swearing, whlrh If followed leads to a demoralized condition of life. We each know the one that besets us most, and we may be thankful that we can by God's help conquer every one if we wart to, and by so doing lead a truer, happier, nobler life on earth, and lie missed when we have passed away. Ia there n sin that beseta us, And Keen x to follow us on. Help no. Ki";it Master, to fight it Until we 1: now it is gone. M. A. Powell, In the New Haven Register. 1 7 3&SVII0VSEH0LD MATTERS Tomatoes rn Ragout. IMunge four good sized, red, sound tomatoes in boiling water for one minute, lift them up, skin, cut them into quarters; place In a small sauce pan with half anounce of butter, three saltspoons salt, two saltspoons white pepper, three saltspoons sugar, half teaspoon freshly chopped parsley and a half a bean of finely chopped garlic; lightly mix, place on the fire, cover the pan and let cook or ten minutes. Remove, pour Into a deep dish and serve. New York World. I? A Thought For the Week F there only were a pattf which one could choose once f, for all. and then walk In It with a careless mind, life would be much easier than It Is. But the path la al wiys narrow and often obscure; every step requires both Juagment and choice; and most of us are continually step ping oft on' the one side or the other, and, in consequence, getting mired, if nothing worse. One cannot think once for all and then live thoughtlessly; he cannot choose once for all and then live carelessly; every day and every hour he must make his choice between the narrow path of virtue and the vice which lies all the way on either side of him. Dr. Lyman Abbott. Women Harvest Crops Well. Many hundreds of women assisted in gathering the harvest around Bea trice, Neb. They were lured to the fields by the offer of board and $3 a day. A farmer went Into Beatrice Handkerchiefs are now chiefly In solid colorings. Four out of live women now wear buttoned shoes. The cameo holds a prominent place In new jewelry. Hand-painted belts will be worn with evening gowns. The Henry VIII. and Marquise hats enjoy considerable favor. For children's hats nothing Is English Monkey. English Monkey" Is a dish simple to make in a chafing dish, and will appeal to those who are fond of cheese dainties. A cup of fine bread crumbs from the centre of a stale loaf are put to soak in a cup of milk, in which an egg has been lightly beaten. A tablespoonful of butter is melted In the chafing dish, and to this Is added from three-quarters to a cup of cheese. Stir while melting, add the crumbs and milk, and serve properly seasoned on toast. Ne.v Yerk Times. Biscuit Shortcake. Sift together one quart of flour and two heaping teaspoonfuls of baking powder, also a pinch of salt, then rub In one-half cupful good butter and wet to a soft dough with a pint of milk; divide the dough, roll out earn half to the bIzo of a large pie plate and bake separately in greased tins for twenty minutes in a hot oven, then pull apart with a fork while hot, butter, and put In a generous layer of washed and drained huckleberries, raspberries or blackberries, sprinkle thickly with powdered sugar and put on the top layer of dough, which cover in turn with another layer of berries and sugar, and serve with a pitcherful of rich cream. Boston Post. The Little Ipcr Printed Where l'oa I'sed to Live. o a u " o o c i twaini, Three reus, one teasnoon of mustard, three tablespoons sugar, butter the size of nn egg, seven tablespoons vinegar, salt and pepper to taste. Beat the eggs, then add the other articles and let all como to a boll. Remove quickly and set away to cool. This mixture will keep for some time if set in a coot place, and can be used to make any kind of salad on short notice. "You are dropping your sausages, sir," the young man said. The older man straightened the pan and hastily picked up the fallen food. "I suppose there's no use dusting them off," he ruefully remarked. "Oh, well, there'll be four left and I'm not very keen for them myself." It couldn't be called an appetizing dinner. The sausages were badly fried, the bread was old, the tea too strong. "Come on, George," said the older, man in the dining room door. "Do you want me to eat with you?" the young man asked. "Of course I do," the older man cried. "This is a pure democracy, young man barring the dirt. Be sides, I'm sick as death of eating the blamed stuff alone." The young man gravely nodded and washed his hands and removed his apron, and they sat down together, and despite Its other shortcomings the dinner was a social success. The absent ladles returned hime. They came quite without warning, but luckily the men were prepared for them. The morning's work was done, and the partners were quietly smoking in the little den. George answered the bell, but Thomas Eastman was close behind him and In the tender greetings that followed the appearance of the ladies the Junior partner was over looked. "Why, Thomas," cried his wife, "you are looking better than you have looked for years." "You're ten years younger, daddy," cried Emily Eastman, "and as plump and rosy as a cherub." Thomas Eastman was much gratified. "And you laughed at me wlier I proposed keeping house by myself," he cried, "But here, you haven't met George. My wife and daughter, George." "How do you do, George?" said the I'm mighty glad to have somebody mistress of the house as she warmly to talk to," the older man declared. Bhook the young man's hand. "We "You make mt forget the food." are so grateful to you." It was pretty late when the stranger , "How do you do, George?" Emily got things straightened out In the echoed as she took his hand. "What's kitchen to his satisfaction. The older , his other name, daddy?" man had been of very little help, j The older man was puzzled by this As he took pains to declare, he was unusual behavior, very much more expert at getting "I I never thought to ask him," things out of place than in remember- he answered. ing where they belonged. I "Well, I can tell you, daddy," said Well," he presently said, "I fancy . Emily. "His name is George Temple, it is time for bed." " and he's the youngest son of Sir Rich- The young man looked up from the ard Temple, of Essex. He's the young cut glass bowl be was carefully wlp- j man I met In Canada, daddy the Ing. i young man who wants to ntarry me, "How about the chamber work?" Walt, daddy. He was coming to see he gravely asked. "Won't that have you when we started away and to be done first?" I mamma and I asked him to come and The old man laughed until he cried, stay with you while we were gone. looking for farmhands. Loungers In the town refused to work, and the farmer had to face the possibility of losing part of his crop. He went into a restaurant, ana wnen waning vu no served was struck with the idea of bidding for the waitresses as harvest ers. He offered them $3 a day, and i . .. i.nAr noA lio. anrnn every wttiuitrBB uncw noiu and went to the farm. They did such efficient work that other farmers sought women, and they drew school teachers, stenographers and college girls as well. New York Press. Mrs. Longworth Ambitious. Mrs. Nicholas Longworth continues Jn her opposition to women voting. For several years she has been pe titioned to express herself in favor of equal suffrage, but she has the Roose velt spirit of sticking determinedly to her convictions. She refuses to be budged from her attitude of compla cent indifference. She does not openly commit herself one way or the other, but many times she has left no doubt of her opinion that the world will not gain by women voting, but may es cape harm by refusing them the bal lot. Mrs. Longworth now Is prepar ing for the social campaign in Wash ington, D. C. She has become am bitious to establish herself as a social leader, and the way seems to be open to her. In the last year she has be come keenly interested In her dress maker, who previously had found her almost careless about dress. New York Press. "Know nnvthlnir shout running a. house?" I've never had a house to run, sir, but I'm not afraid to make myself generally useful." "That sounds good. - Perhaps I'll (tve you a test you won't like. In fact, you might as well understand that you are going to earn your light's lodging." J he young man smiled at this intl-. mation. I understand," he said: He stood, P. "Awaiting orders, sir." I c uoid on," said the older man. For fear you will begin to ask ques jtlons, I will explain the situation," IHe hesitated for a moment. "I am lere alone In the bouse. My wife has gone away a visit to a sister o is in and my daughter went lth her. They didn't want to leave I me. My daughter would have stayed, but my wife is not well and couldn't travel alone. Besides, I insisted on their going. I wouldn't even have the maids remain. I gave them both a locution. You see I am a man of decision. I told trem I could take tare of myself that I would enjoy 'doing It. J wantrd to ba alone with my books I haven't had much See here, you George," he finally said, "don't you know It's lese majeste for a guest to indulge in covert sneers at the host's housekeeping? Your bed hasn't been disturbed since Mrs. East man went away. It may need a little dusting, but tbat'a all. Come, 1 want to see you safely started. And an other thing, boy. Just as an item of useful information, it might be well for you to know that I have a revolver close at band and am a light sleeper." "I have no revolver, " said the young man, "and I sleep like Rip Van Winkle." "Just another word," remarked the older man. "Our solid silver is all In You see we were afraid you'd starve yourself, or poison yourself, or get melancholy, or something. And we wanted George to come here and look after you and get acquainted." The old man flushed and shook his head at the smiling George. "My better Judgment told me you were a deceiver from the very start," be growled. "An Englishman, eh? Didn't I tell you, Emily, that you should never marry an Englluhman with my consent?" "Pardon me," said George, "but I am only half an Englishman. My mother was a Baltimore girl." A penniless vagabond," growled more lovely than the popular panne ribbons. Velvet Is again In flourishing style, both in millinery and In coats and dresses. Muffs again are of mammoth pro portions, but this year they are round instead of flat. The military coat, simply bloused and belted, will be prominent in tail ored suitings. A newcomer among hatpins has a big head of wood carved in bird or Insect shape. Gold bands are now much more fashionable for the hair than the erst while ribbon ones. Irish crochet buttons and lace ap pear as trimming upon some of the crepe-like tissues. The middy sweater has made Its appearance. It is the successor to the middy blouse so much in use last sea. son. Soft, thick silks of the poplin de scription, as well as moire antique and velvet, are generally finished with buttons. Moire bands are used for trim ming the tailored hat this season In much the same way that velvet has been and still Is being used. It is no longer necessary to have stockings match the footwear; in stead they match the skirt, the head gear, and even the gloves. Cloths of the short-haired clbellne look are again seen, though the vogue for rough fabrics has not yet reached the stage of the long-haired, shaggy zlbellno of a few years ago. In some of the afternoon tailor mades there is a relief from the dark foundation color on the lapels of the coat which are often of Oriental em broidery or Its effect, while the col lar Is of black velvet, satin or moire. Collapsible, Sewing Rasket. Such a sewing basket as this one will always make an acceptable gift. It is simple and easily made and it can be opened out flat to bo packed in a suit case or trunk. In this case the material is a pretty flowered ere- the safe deposit vaults, and there is the old man no Jewelry in the house." ' "Not quite so bad "Admirable precautions," remarked , George. "I've got the young man. Then he slyly added. "It might have been wiser It you bad locked up the kitchen uteuBlls, too." The older man was still laughing when be said good night. . The next morning Thomas Eastman awoke with a start, dued clatter down aroma of coffee drifted through the room. "It's that confounded vagabond," ba muttered and suddenly laughed. "Well, I'm glad be didn't take to bis heels this morning." And when be went down statra be found an appetising breakfast await ing blm. . There were bacon and eggs, and buttered toast, and sliced peaches, and excellent coffee. "George," said Thomas Eastman, you are altogether too good to be true," He stared at blm In his ear neat fashion, "I'm going to throw as that," said some money banked In Montreal that I would like to have you Invest for me." They all looked at Thomas East man. "Come here," be said to the young man, and drew back a little. "Not a He beard a sub-, word about that kitchen," he wills stairs, and the I pared. Not a word, sir." "I don't want to appear hard heart ed," he said, "and I don't want to spoil your foolish little comedy. George is sorry for the part be took In it and perhaps we bad better over look bis offense this time and, keep blm In the family." . , What He Did Know. ' "Well, Tommy," said the minister, patronizingly, "do you know your let ters yet?" . . ' "No, air," Answered Tommy, "but I know my postcards. Nobody )f seuds sue haters. " Boston Pos. Lady Warrender No Suffragette. Lady Maud Warrender, popular in British society, has resisted much persuasion by the Suffragettes to Join their ranks. Her refusal bears out the belief in London that all women enjoying the friendship of Queen Alexandra are set against equal suf frage. It has been observed that as soon as a woman Is taken in by the Queen she begins to talk against women entering politics, and all this Is attributed to Alexandra's influ ence. The Queen never has hinted openly at her opinion of the Suffra gettes, but the feeling is general that she is opposed to them. Lady War render says tbat women have enough liberty as conditions prevail to-day, and that In politics they would be out of their natural sphere Instead of accepting overtures to take part in the aggressive campaign for the ballot. Lady Warrender busies her self with society, golf and singing. She has a fine contralto voice, and Is heard frequently in concerts for char ities. New York Press. nesettins Sins., There is rarely found a person who has 'not a besetting sin. By this I mean a certain special sin of some kind, which seems to cling to us in spite of our effort to ward It off It can be compared to a disease that follows one through life or a weak ness of some part of the body, not neccessarily fatal, yet we are told in the medical world this special weak ness will in time ,uniV)rmln the health and be the cause of death. It Is just so with our besetting sins. If we do not conquer them they will conquer us. Bad temper is one. In some it is a demon in dis guise, making borne and all arouud unhappy. The one who has it suf fer none the less than those around blm. King Solomon said: "He that! is slow to toier la better than tha n,h .nrf h.i ,iah i.i. .i,i war, it I his one ol blsc broad cloth. than be that takes a city." Another 1 Ja.'.u'" Mi " lD'id w b,V, is tale-bearing. It is like a canke- . A blndy co fot ,, ,, wetr, that corrodes one's life until we are wha a fancy wrap is iomtwUt out i disliked by all, even our best fr'endt.jBiace. A fine example of a cost tit til round Collapsible Sewing Basket tonne, and cretonne is always a favor ite, but any pretty silk or simpler flowered material can be used. The basket is supplied with convenient pockets and pincushions and Is alto gether attractive and useful. The foundation for the basket is cardboard cut In sections. The ma terial is arranged over this and stitched and pasted Into place. The pockets, cushions, etc., are attached, and there are eyelets through which ribbon Is passed which keeps the basket in shape. The quantity of material required is three-fourth yard of any width, with three-fourth yard of ribbon three and one-half inches wido for cushlou and pocket, one a.:d one-half yards of cord and two and one-half yards of ribbon for tying. 'HINTS' I A pinch of salt in coffee helps to give a delicate flavor. A little alum added to the stove polish helps to keep the stove bright and shining. Salt in the oven under baking tins will prevent pastry from scorching on the bottom. Put a pinch of bicarbonate of soda in the water when boiling salmon. This makes it a beautiful red color. Two parts of fresh slaked lime, mixed with one part strong red pep per and sprinkled freely In their run ways will drive rats away. Just now, when net yokes and sleeveB are so much worn, it Is well to know that they can be very suc cessfully dry-cleaned by rubbing gently in pulverized laundry starch. A woman who has had a long ex perience In cooking for a family says that she likes milk better than egg for moistening fish before rolling It in bread crumbs for frying. She al ways uses oil for frying. For delicious cheese balls buy some cottage cheese, work It smooth with butter and season if ell with Parmesan cheese. Season with salt and paprika, make into small balls and serve with the salad course. Never iron laces; wash them care fully in warm, not hot water, rinse well in the bluing water, then wrap smoothly around a large glass bottle and fill the bottle with hot water. Black lace is best washed in tea. Instead of starching napkins, doilies, ties, fete, try this way which makes a very little trouble: Dip them for a few minutes in boiling water, then iron tnem out with a very bot Iron. This makes them stiff as though they were starched anj they look like new. When ironing use a brick or block of wood for an Iron stand. You will be surprised at the result, tor your Iron will keep bot a good doal longer and save you many steps. If you neeJ a dress or waist tbat is not starched and you are in a burry for it, rluse it, dip It In thin, cold starch, wrap In a towel for a tew mluutes, tbtii put It through your wriugor aud Iron at once. Tat r.tu't is ectlnly latln'acwy. - , Tinn't filM with ruts and picture nor the latext ncwn dispntcticH; And the paper's often dnmpened, and the print is sometimes blurred. There is only one edition, and the eye quite often ditches Trocps of a missing letter, and at fimea a mis-spelled word. No Cftlilpiirnms nor specials anywhere the Ijftttie rages, The makeup is mnyhaps a trifle crude and primitive. But an atmosphere of homelifo fills and permeates the pages Of the little country paper, printed where you used to live. How the heart urnws soft and tender while its columns you're perusing, Every item is familiar, every Dame you know full well. And a flood of recollection poes o'er while you're musing On the past, and weaves about you an imaginative spell. You can aee the old home village, once again in fancy; seeming To be clasping hand of nnighbor, and of friend and relative; And their faces rise before you as you're idly, fondly dreaming. O'er the little country paper printed where you used to live. Kansas City Journal. "Is thij llvlni: out of door3 for health a tentative arrangement?" "Sure, it's all tcnta." Baltimore American. "Tell me the old. did story," simp ered the heiress. ' Well," said the duke, "I owe about $:',m0,000." Louisville Courier-Journal. W'e are a iik s I'tM'Matrnt CU--J, Where is that hi' c Itiiinoceroi,? 1 "How Is Cholly going to the marked ball?" "As a court fool." "But why doesn't he go Ir some sort of dls guise?" Cleveland Leader. "Jones made an awful lilt at the banquet the other nlfiht." "Is that so?" "Yes; he was called on for a speech, and refused." Detroit Free Press. Mamma "Did you tell God how naughty you were?" Mary "No, mamma, I thought It hadn't better get out of the family." Chicago Record Herald. The Homebody "What's the prin cipal Industry in New York, as near as ye could Jedge, Abner?" The Traveled Man "Steppin" lively, I reckon." Puck. "The audience Is calling you," the playwright wap informed. "I hear them," he answered. 'Show me the quickest, way to get out of here." Birmingham Ace-Herald. "I see a college professor claims that Chaucer will outlive Shakes peare," "Well, of all the ignorance! Doth of them fellers have been dead for 300 years." Louisville Courier Journal. ! He "I want you to understand that I won't play second fiddle to any man." She "All right. You can play the drum." He "The drum?" She "In other words, beat It." Philadelphia Record. She goes down to the seashore And gladly tans and hprrckles. Then tries the halinc of the car To tear loom- from her freckles. The Mendlrant "Please, sir, would you help a poor begfiar?" Chaplelgh "Weally, me good man, I er couldn't do it. I aw nevah did any begging, doncher know." Chi cago Daily News. "You can't get something for noth ing in this life," said the ready-made philosopher. "No," answered Mr. Lamkinson, "I can't. But the chaps I have done business with In Wall Street seem to mauage It." Wash ington Star. "Do you advise me to tnke up dip lomacy as a career?" asked the young man who is politically ambitious. "I don't believe I should," answered Sen ator Sorghum; "the silence imposed Is likely to Bpoll a statesman's form as a popular lecturer." Washington Star. Mullet in Gulf Waters. The mullet has always attracted a goodly fchare of attention. His fame is not circumscribed by the bound aries of the Gulf. Whether the visi tor be from the Atlantic or the Pa cific coast, or from the shores of the Mediterranean or the Baltic, he wsntt to see, examine and feaut on the mul let. He iii the best-known fish that swims. Some have a prejudice against him, but, like all feelings ol this nature. It rests on an unsubstan tial foundation. It cannot bear in vestigation, for the mullet plays a greater part In appeasing the craving for seu foods than any fish that in habits the waters of the Gulf. He 1 here in summer and winter, in fall and In spring. When the fisherman contemplates his plight, when luck ll gainst him and a feeling of depres sion creeps over him, the mullet, al ways ready to give him a helping hand, rushes into, his seine and con tributes to his fortune and to the gas tronomic pleasure of the thousands of persons to whom the mullet ll shipped. He is a regular standby i prosperity and In adversity he it lways here in abundance. Pasca joulu Chroulcle. I'reiich Waterways. The capital of France, an Inland city. Is the nation's chief port, be cause the nation understands how to make Its natural waterways snrve it and bow to construct new artificial waterways to supplement the others I'a-ii Is the centre of a canal system that extends to many parts of the re public, a great market for slow freight by water and the recipient ol great commercial prosperity becauss the French people understand, what Americans do not as yet, that watei transportation pays. The same In !lWent treatment of American wa terways, natural and artificial, would divelop a svttetn rivaling or excell ing that of France. Cleveland Plate Uealtir. O've Was Er.oq?:i. tr9(!strate (discharging prisoner) "Now, tuun, I would advice you tc keu y from bat omnay." PrUoner (feelingly) "Thank ron 'rir. You won't sec n.0 here ajain,' Lltviucolt's.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers