I A II MINUTE Lb As Br ANNII A long tunnel? Yes, air, and a dark one, too. Frightened! Well, no, sir, not exactly that; Just a bit sick like. The smoke? No, no, sir; It's the memory of what once befell me in that same tunnel. I've gone over this line some ten times since, and every time my heart gives the same twist. If that big lion they call Arthur's Seat was alive and growl ing, I couldn't feel more scared ev ery time I go or come from Edin burgh. You would like to hear what happened? Well, if you care to pass an hour hearing the plain story of a plain woman, I'll do my best. I'm bound for Glasgow, and If you're the same, we'll Just have the hour. All my kinsfolk belong to Glas gow I'm going to visit mother now but John, my husband, sir. Is an Edinburgh man. Maybe you've no ticed that big fruiterer's shop on Prince's street, with the queen's crown over the door, p.nd "John Malt land, Fruiterer to Her Majesty," across the front. 'You've been In It? Oh, thank you, sir, to say so. Yes, my John Is a pleasant-looking fellow, and Just as good as he looks. But that's neither here nor there. Ten years ago, when he kept shop away down in the old town, and never dreamed of becoming queen's fruit erer, we were married at my moth er's on the eleventh of this coming month, and I took my first trip to Edinburgh as a bride. I had on a white bonnet with onange blossoms in It, and a white cashmere shawl that my brother brought me from India, and John had brought me a great wedding bouquet of real orange blossoms and white cam el las and lovely white roses from his own greenhouse, which I was so proud of that I must curry them all the way back again. To this day the scent of orange flowers and heath turns me deathly sick. Pity, isn't it, that one's nose should have such a long memory, as one might say? Well, as mischance would have It, whai with bidding them all good-by, and running back to pass wedding cake through the ring for Sister Jes sie, and crying with brother, ours was the last carriage that rattled to the train statior and John had bare ly time to get our tickets, put me into an empty compartment, and rush to get the luggage on board. . . While he was away a gentleman Jumped In very hurriedly to the seat opposite to mo, and beckoning to a guard, gave him half a crown, and some directions. The next moment the door was Bhut, and we were mov ing off without John, v I tried to open the window and to scveam for them to stop, ic wasn't very pleasant, you'll agree, for me to take my wedding Journey home alone; but it was the exprers train, bound to be : t Edinburgh to the minute, and there would be no stop page at any station by the way where I could get out and wait. While I was shaking at the vln dow, the tears of distress running clown my cheeks, I was pulled for cibly back by the gentleman I have mentioned, who cried, sharply: "Keep inside, or there will be a head off!" He struck his hands together, and looked so fierce as he said "a head oft" that I felt quite startled, and sat down. He was the only person !n the compartment with me, and had such an odd such an unaccountable ap pearance that the more I looked at him the, less I liked him. He had the dress and air of a gen tleman, but his face was curiously bleached, and his great, burning black eyes never rested for a mo ment on anything; and what with a queer habit he bad of licking his lips like lightning, and biting his nails till the blood came, every other min ute, I thought him the most un canny kind of a stranger I could have been left alone with. Just as I had come to this con clusion a conductor opened a window to get our tickets, and stood on the narrow footrall outside, holding on. "Oh, sir!" I cried, "can't you leave me off somewhere? I've come away without my husband." "Impossible to change until you reach Edinburgh. Don't be uneasy, ma'am; I'm pretty sure your husband got Into one of the cars behind. Saw him Jump ou," said the good-natured official. Then, being assured that he would get our tickets, he disappeared. I would have been quite consoled at his assurance if I hadn't been horribly shocked at something my companion made a move to do when the window first opened. He stealth ily tried the fastenings of the door, with the intention plain in his eyes of dashing it open and shoving li.e conductor down on the track. For tunately tho door was securely' fas tened. As soon as wo were alone, he put on a very bland smile, and remarked: "What a pretty bride you aro! What is your name?" I was no flurried that I forgot taut I had a married name, and an swered : "Alice, sir." "Ay!" said he, devouring me with his stealthy glances, Just as if he was making rabid Buatches at me, "so you are I know that. I know that white bonnet of yours; you wore It when you married Number One. Do you know what became of him'.'" "What do you mean?" I exclaimed, angry enough, you may be sure, at his Impudence. "It's a poor thing if a respectable girl can't sit In a first class car without being Insulted." "What makes your flowers so whlto?" asked he, paying no manner of heed to my words. "Do you think you can deceive mo?" I begun to suspoct the man was drunk, "Aha!" cried ho, in a voice of ma liclous triumph, "I can see what the world Is blind to. Your flowers aro potted with blood, and tied with tuo b&lr of the murdered man." "For mercy's sake, sir," I faltered, whut do you mean? oh. If Jha wss only bore!" II 0FI1 TIME I 11. at J ASHMOKK. : "But he ,Jsn't," retorted the stranger, wickedly. "You and I are tho wedded pair. Ha, ha! I tipped the guard to ke-- us by ourselves, and John will never see you on earth again! Look at me, Alice." He bent forward till his breath blew in furnace gasps into my face. "You needn't carry yourself so bravely. Mark you, I've found you now, and as sure as there's blood spilled darkly, an an open hades yawning for the Rullty, you'll not es cape!" At these dreadful words, and his wild looks, the conviction seized me that I was in the presenco of a mad man shut up for the next forty minutes completely at his mercy, unles by the mercy of Heaven I could save enough woman's wit to divert his fury from myself. Almost fainting, I yet managed to force a smile, and to say, very sooth ingly: "You're making a mistake, sir. I'm a perfect stranger to you, and only changed my maiden name of Alice Hayden this morning for that of Alice Maitland. My husband, John, keeps a fruit shop in Edin burgh." "Curse John Maitland! I hate bim and all that belong to him!" cried the brute, and he spat on my beau tiful white flowers. "How dare you sit there with your innocent smile and blooming cheeks? Do you know I can hardly keep from beating the smooth simper out of your lying face against these partition walls, and throwing your bedizened carcass through the window?" and he licked his Hps till my flesh crept. "Am I plump? Am I ruddy? Are my eyes full of deceit? Are my hands filled with flowers?" At each question his voice rose and hlB excitement kept pace, until at this last he thrust out his bony arniB, with a yell of frenzy, as if he would have torn me in pieces. Sinking back as far as the seat would allow me, I looked up in help less expectation of a blow, and for the first time caught his eyes. All flaming as they were with murderous intent,' ho tried to drag them away from mine, began to trem ble, and cowered down in his seat at last like a beaten dog. Inwardly thanking Providence for thrusting this weapon in my hands, I resolved never to release the fren zied wretch from the power of my eyes until help should come. "I I I mean nothing, you know," he stammered, rolling bis head uneasily from side to side. "I'm only telling you my little story. Where was I?" And he clasped his head between his hands in piteous confusion. "Was I at the Double Six, or the Queen's Bloody Head?" "You were at the Double-Sti." an swered I, determined to eschew any thing pertaining to blood. "That's false!" retorted he, uus pldouBly. "I was at the blood sprinkled bills. Do you know, when she brought them home, and laid them one by one before me, one hun dred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred bilU of the Bank of England, and said 'The are yours,' I felt my brain spin off like a rocket up to the skies. And, look you, in every one her graclnm majesty was befouled' with the mil dew of blood, Just as if somebody bad daubed her off to express that some one's contempt for her and her lavs. Why, you know it was bo plain that I cried immediately: "This is your painting, Alice done in good heart's blood! Why, you're Alice! you're my wife!" ex claimed he, breaking off abruptly, "No, no," I returned, as calmly as I could, "go on with your story. I never heard anything so Interesting." "Didn't you?" said the madman, "never heard it before?" "Never," answered I. "That's good," he returned, eying me critically; "it's something to have a new listener r.t last. The story is fifteen years old, and nobody has ever let me tell It through yet. Fools! they pretend to believe me mad. Well, do you believe it's true?" "I haven't heard It yet. Go on." "Oh! I thought I had told it. She said she had found the bills in a wal let beside an old lime pit ou Hep bane Moor, three months ago, when I was 111 wth the affair of the Doublo-Slx all her lies, yeu see; and that the body of the wretch who had gained my all from me was found in the pit; and the authorities had sent me the money because I had lost a thousand pounds to the murdered man. And then, ..aving -ld me this damnable tissue of lies, she per suaded me to leave the county and go to Glasgow. Mark you, all softly as she put it, I wasn't deceived. I knew that she had committed the murder and stolen the money. So my peace left me; I felt that in suffer ing Alice to live I had sold myself to Satan, and I watched, watched for a chance to cut short her guilty life. How I hated her! And do you know for fifteen years I have hated her as deeply as I loved her at first. Ah, that was love! My innocent-eyed! my whlte-souled! Bah! I loathe to look at white. I could tear those lying white. garments from you . " "Let me hear the end of the story first," interrupted I, flxlug my eyes anew upon him with revived courage. I had seen a glimpse of Edinburgh in the distance, and knew that fifteen minutes must take us there. "Yes, I must got to the end," re sumed the maniac, nervously. "I may never have such another chance;" and he eyed me so hun grily that my blood curdled, "Ltttle by little I told my secret in confi dence to those men whom I thought my friends. And what then? Curse them! they dragged me before a council of doctors and got me pro nounced mad, and so I was shut up In a madhouse, where my tongue would tell no talon, and she lives free to this day. Free! ha. ha! is she?" "Stop," I said, holding his blood shot eyes, "you have forgotten one part of your story." The city was now la sight five minutes morel "What have I forgotten?" asked the madman, scowling. "I don't understand about the Double-Six." "That part is of no consequence to the story." "Pardon me, but It Is. I can't make out beginning or end without it. I'm sure a gentleman of your mind ought to make a plainer story than that." "How can I give you brains and Information, too?" retorted he, cun ningly enough; "or Is It that you have only been making a pitiful pre tense of Interest to cheat me? Do you suppose I don't see through your little wiles, and despise " "Come, come!" interposed I two minutes more. "You have Interested me so deeply in your aad history that It will be a great pity if you teave out, as one may say, the very text of it all." "You want me to criminate my self," said the maniac, sullenly. "Nothing of the kind," cried I, with cheerful briskness. "I only want to hear how the Double-Six could make you HI." "Ah, you don't believe It? Well, you see, when Paul Etherldgo got a hold of me curse him! how was I to know he was a blackleg? he worked and worked round me until my money was all staked and lost, then my land, then my house, and last, what think you be proposed?, My wife! Ha, ha! my wife against five hundred pounds! And I flung the dice and an ace and a five, and he flung the dice and got the double six. Ha, ha, ha! that was grand! that was rare! Am I criminating myself?" "No, no, go on! The illness?" "Then something crashed down in my brain, and I knew nothing until weeks after, when they told me I had had brain fever, and I lay and lan guished in a white room, where de mons in blood-red haunted me every night, and told me that Paul Ether Id ge lay murdered, by my hand, in the old lime pit. Ha, ha, ha!" As he shouted these words In mad frenzy the Bhrill whistle of the en gine approaching the station smote on our ears. The next moment we had plunged Into the throat of the tunnel, and the spell of my eyes was broken. Before I could realize my danger, before I could raise an arm In de fense, the manias was clutching at my throat lu a murderous strangle, and shrieking in my ears, tar above the roar of the wheels: "Devil! I knew you from the first! I've only a minute of time, but it's long enough to push you into perdition! Down with you! Down, down to hades, my false wife!" And as the blood surged through my whirling brain, I seemed to be falling, falling through blood-red darkness, while a thousand cannon broke in my ears, and then I gave in to my doom. I looked u pin my husband's arms, and round upon a pitying throng. The dread minute was overpast, and I was saved! How? We had shot Into the light, and the conductor, summoned by those in tho next compartment, who were alarmed by the noise, had crashed open the door as the fren zied wretch was kneeling by my fallen body to complete his work. In a few seconds we were at the Prince's Street Station, and while John took me to the nearest ladles' room, the madman was quietly se cured by two keepers who had been on the watch for him, and taken back to Glasgow. And that was my homecoming. Rather a black one; but my John said that evening at our own little fireside as be tenderly bound up my bruised neck: "It's been a great escape, Alice, ray dainty, and in token to our deep thankfulness to the Hand that was stronger than madness or murder, we'll from this night on make our vows: 'As for me and my house, we will Berve the Lord.' " Yes, sir, you may Bay that I look as if all had been blessed with me. We've been happy together here, and we look to be happy up yonder. Here's Bonacorde Station, and there's my mother. Good-by, sir, and thank you for your good wishes. New York Weekly. The Czar. The Czar Is below medium height and, though he does not look it, la something of an athlete. In a walk he can easily outdistance the average man, Pedestrianlsm is, in fact, the exercise that appeals to him most. He can go miles and miles without requiring a rest, but nowadays he in dulges In but few rambles. He does not fear death for himself, but he be lieves that God Intended him to rule, and therefore he avoids unnecessary risks. Tho tales that are circulated periodically to the effect that he trembles for his safety throughout the livelong day are as untrue as they are absurd. Nicholas II. Is also a fair oar. When he was over in this country some years ago he patron ized the Thames frequently, going down to a cortain boathouse unat tended and hiring a single sculler by the hour. Now and again he cycles. He finds no pleasure in pomp and ceremony, and were he free to con sult his own wishes he would cheer fully vacate the throne to-morrow. Cassell's Saturday Journal. Quail Getting Scarce. Quail starved to- death by thou sands in .the winter of 1904-05, but last winter they had an easy time ex cept in February and March. From Massachusetts to Indiana the quail are so scarce that restocking has become necessary. Tho birds for this purpose are hard to find. More than 100,000 have been captured In Alabama and tho Southwest, where they still occur in abundance, and have been shipped North for breed ing. Evn this supply is quite inade quate Jnd may not last long. . The quail is perhaps our most pop ular game bird aud a market win be found for all that can be pro duced. Complete success has been had in raising them on a small scale. Why should not some one go into the bus iness on such a scale that he could turn out 100,000 quail per year? Country Life in America. -: The Queer Side of Japan. :- By J. INGRAM KRYAN, Professor In the Imperial College of Commerce, Nagasaki, japan. It any one is disposed to regard' antiquity as the sole repository of in credibly strange th'lngs, let him come to Japan; here mythology is still in the making, and the world retains tho wonder that it had of old. Few of us there are who do not at some time wonder what the life of the ancients was like; we would grasp with eagerness an opportunity to get a glimpse of "the dally round, the common task" of an old Assyrian, Egyptian, Greek or Roman. Yet such a vision would not greatly differ from that afforded by the dally avo cations of the Japanese peasantry, who live much the same as their forefathers did In Central Asia 3000 years ago. At least, little Is re corded of the ancients that one may not find some unexpected elucidation of among the Japanese. The lower orders of the animal creation were credited by the an cients with many an abnormal feat, if Indeed that time can be called an cient wherein all differences were adjusted by tooth and claw. Yet, only the other day, what may be truthfully described as the most unique civil conflict in all history oc curred here In the land of the gods. One afternoon, not long ago, the in habitants of the little town of OJi Mura, in the perfection of Arlma, were disturbed by a most unearthly clamor proceeding from the sur rounding marshes. The din of the tumult was as that of a myriad pea nut whistles which had combined to serenade the town and drive the pop ulation mad. Going out to reconnoitre, a sight was encountered that would have staggered the imagination of even Aristophanes himself; thousands of frogs were engaged in a fierce and deadly combat. The belligerents were composed of three armies, a larger one of some 4000 and two smaller ones of about 3000 each. The latter forces were allied as the in vading army, and fought with a des peration and a valor worthy of Waterloo. The battle presented a scene im possible to portray adequately. The ditches around the marsh were crowded with entranced non-combatants, who behold the carnage with feelings ranging from terror to sheer amazement. As the conflict deepened and the amphibious legions charged and recharged with ever-Increasing fury, the shrill uproar was deafening beyond credibility worse than a hundred nights of caterwauling com bined in one. This was the only un Japanese feature of the affray, for the soldiers of the Mikado make no sound in battle beyond the clash of armB or the report of ordnance. The invading army, some 6000 strong, appeared from the first to be having the best of it; with very open countenances emitting high-pitched denunciations, they furiously bit and clawed at one another with an ap pearance and action that were truly bellicose, until the defending army was overcome in an overwhelming manner. Loud and long the battle raged, the embattled ranks 'holding out for nine hours. Not until over 700 were killed, and more than 2000 hopelessly wounded, did silence again reign and the village resume its wonted composure. Another remarkable Incident of re cent occurrence, which, under the circumstances, suggests the gruesome side of prehistoric times, comes from the village of Yaraai-Chlba, in the prefecture of Kanagawa, where a man has Just been sentenced to a term of imprisonment for eating his neighbor's dog. The prisoner pleaded that since the dog had not been reg istered, as the law required, it was not private property, and, therefore, j Not For Publication. The engagement between a wealthy Baltimore belle and an impecunious clubman of that city was at one time last winter perilously near the "breaking off" point, and all by rea son of the unfortunate mistake of a florist's assistant of whom the young man had ordered flowers for his be loved. It appears that the young fellow had hastily dispatched to the florist's establishment two cards, one bearing an order for roses to be rent to the young lady's address, and the other lnteuded to be attached to the flow ers. What was the astonishment and indignation of the beloved one when, on taking the roses from their boxes, she found affixed the card bearing the legend: "Roses. Do the best you can for 1 3." Harper's Weekly. The Egg of the Season. In the window of a West End taxi dermist there is now being exhibited an egg which the man in the street will doubtless attribute to the result of a more than usually prolific big gooseberry season. It Is the genuine product, however, of a tall, flightless bird the aepyornls maxlmus which formerly Inhabited the Island of Madagascar. The eggs of this Im mense creature are nearly a yard In circumference and a foot in length, and their cubical contents, roughly speaking, are equal to six ostrich eggs, or 150 hens' eggs, or 60,000 humming birds' eggs, or two gallons of water. The market price ranges from 35 to 60, only twenty kuowu specimens being In existence. Liver pool Courier. Music in the Workhouse. The Isle of Wight Workhouse now boasts an official harpist. Hor du ties are to lighten the dull hours of the inmates of the imbecile wards with solos ou tho harp and piano. The appointment was made by tho guardians on the recommendation of the Lunacy Commissioners, and an elderly woman named Grace has been selected for the post. Grace pos sesses her own harp aud plnno. London Tit-Bits. free prey to any citizen who cared to indulge a healthy appetite: but the court ruled otherwise. The man then pleaded altruistic motives in the case, alleging that he himself had not devoured all the dog, but had considerately invited to the feast a number of his friends, who had heartily partaken of the delicious re past. Again the court failed to catch the point, or to discern In the said charity any alleviation of th crime. The man, one Matsuta, whoso canine pet had proved so tempting and toothsome a morsel to his neighbors, came in for a heavy fine for defying the law in not reg istering his dog before exposing it to the appetites of the public. In Japan the lower orders of life not only make war and supply meat. but evince sundry other peculiarities that render them invaluable concom itants of civilization. A few days ago a number of people were seen gazing intently toward the upper limbs of a large pine tree. Stopping to learn the secret of this unusual Interest, a man was observed de scending the tree, while a crow was furiously cawing and beating about his head; then It was seen that the trespasser had possessed himself of one of her brood, an unpreposesslng little chick that no one could be Imagined tt fancy for a pet. Asked what he Intended doing with the young crow, he replied that It made excellent medicine for the blood: "Chl-no-mlchl-no kusurl," to UBe his exact words. To ensure the efficacy of the medicine, he explained, the bird must be taken before it leaves the nest, If possible, or, If it has left the nest, before it gets to where it can drink water; for, he asserted, If it has of itself taken water, it loses all virtue as a blood cure. The pro-' cess of preparing the remedy is, first, kill the crow, and, without cleaning It, to encase the body in an air-tight covering of cement or clay. The mould Is then baked for two or three days in a hot fire. When the day crust is removed, naturally the crow will be found to be black', a lump of pure charcoal. This Is pulverized and converted Into pills of the "pink" order, which are very popular here as a blood regulator. He reminded his interlocutors that the medicine was very rare because of the diffi culty of finding a crow that had not taken water. The man was perfect ly sincere, and appeared extremely proud of his success in having se cured the bird. He was reluctant to leave the tree lest there should be another one on the ground some where. Those who, since the brilliant achievements of the Japanese Red Cross Society in the late war, are ac customed to take for granted the ad vance of medical science In this country, will, of course, bear In mind that the practitioner under consid eration had not at this time acquired membership in any legally recognized therapeutic fraternity; but probably his nostrum was quite as effective as much of the medicine that is sold to a large constituency at a higher price in other portions of the globe. Another favorite remedy for un diagnosable ailments in this coun try Is human liver, and a citizen of ihe empire has Just been arrested on the charge of having killed several women as a means to obtaining this somewhat unusual commodity. This phase of Japanese Ufe seems rather to increase the ambiguity of the old aphorism that whether life la worth living depends on tho liver. At any rate, it may be Justly counted among the quer things of Japan, to relate all of which would necessitate going on ad Infinitum. Harper's Weekly. Love and Tobacco. It Is in Holland that people are popularly supposed to carry the cult of tobacco to the extreme, and there seems no reason to think that this Impression is erroneous. The pipe of the young Dutchman even plays an important part in the preliminar ies of marriage, much the same as that of the old women in Spain, and of the parents of the bridegroom In France. In some districts of the Netherlands, when a young man has Been a pretty girl whom he would like to marry, he goes round to her father's house and asks for a light for his pipe. A first demand of this kind is nothing, but the parents know that if the youth repeats his visit and his request on the following evening, that he is looking after their daugh ter. Accordingly the subject Is de bated and the course of conduct de cided upon. The next evening the young suitor calls again, and If the door Is shut in his face he knows he is rejected, and that there is nothing for it but to go elsewhere. If, on the contrary, he Is looked upon with fav or, he Is asked to come In, and tho object of hla affections gives him the light for his pipe. This method of courting is no doubt suited to the Dutch, who are men of few words, but it would hardly suit the French, nor, for the matter of that, is it like ly to take root in this country. But it is only another Instance of the vir tues of tobacco, which are now being vaunted by our scientific guides. Loudon Globe. How to Ho a Chauffeur. If you havo a low from veranda to your "hom'i or boarding house, crawl under It, after first saturating the floor above with gasolene and other greasy and ill-smelling sub stances that will le, through nn tn your fane. Lie on 'jur back under tne noor wnere it leaks, and try to trim your finger nails with a dull monkey wrench, nwearlnir bmriiv u the while. When you tet out, go to me ponce station and pay a fine. This procedure, acsompanied by the wearing of a palir of tierce -oirein will make you feel like the real thing. -VUlCUgO JNBWS, I YELLOW FEVER KUTRESSKD. Triumph of the Medical RclrnrP Achieved In I'minnm. One of the greatest triumphs of medical sclenco has been achieved on the Isthmus of Panama. Under con ditions far more difficult than those at Havana results equally gratifying have been obtained. There has been only one case of yellow fever in 1906. The last case reported was in the city of Panama, November 11, 1905. In August, according to the official report of Colonel W. C. Gorgas, chief sanitary officer, there were three cases of smallpox, all at Colon. The chief cause of death has been pneumonia, and for August there was a considerable decrease in the mortality from this disease. In July 124 patients died from pneumonia; in August only ninety-four. From malarial causes the number of deaths In July was 105, and seventy-eight In August. There was an Increase In typhoid fever from seven denths in July to twelve In August, while the mortality from dysentery was prac tically the same for the two months. From beriberi there were five deaths all In the city of Panama. This report covers the whole pop ulation of 75,000 in Colon, Panama and the Canal Zone. At the time of this report there were 29,555 em ployes on the Government payroll, the largest force yet employed at one time, and nearly double the number the French had at work at any one period. In October, 1884, they had on their rolls 19,243 men. Of the more than 29,000 employes on the American roll In August, 1906, 153 died, only eight of them whites. Four-fifths of the whites employed are from the United States. Of 4000 Americans only two died. One of these fatalities was due to an explosion of gunpowder and the other to a rail road accident. The most fatal dis ease in the Canal Zone and on the Isthmus Is pneumonia, and this oc curs almost exclusively among the blacks. Of the sixty victims of this disease only one was a white. The Blck list shows that out of more than 29,000 employes only forty-two reported on the dally sick list out of every 1000 men; this In August, when sickness Is at its max imum. There were no deaths In Colon In August from either typhoid fever or dysentery, the two prlncip.il water borne diseases of the Isthmus. Nothing could bo more encourag ing to the American people or bet ter Justify their support of the great canal project than this report of the department of health of the Isth mian Canal Commission. It shows the value of tho careful preliminary organization which has been effected and guarantees the most perfect pro tection of life possible to those who dig the Panama Canal. New York Sun. Kentucky's Strong Parson. Senator "Joe" Blackburn, of Ken tucky, tells of a good old Methodist minister in his State In the pioneer days who was a considerable scrap per, says the St. Louis Post-Dispatoh. "One day," says the Senator, "af ter the parson had found it neces sary .to administer fistic punishment to several young toughs who persist ed In disturbing the meeting at ono of the churches he served, one of his flock, noted as being something of a hard hitter himself, got up in meet ing and said: " 'It Is a solmen duty of this hero congregation to stand by Parson Johnson. He does not seek trouble, but he will not show the white feath er when trouble is forced In bis way. I believe that, unrestrained by di vine grace, Parson Johnson can whip any man in Kentucky. Tho Lord is with him. Let us pray." Overdid It. The late Joseph Jefferson was well known for his kindness of heart, a kindness which extended to the smallest of animals, but nothing an noyed him more than affectation in this regard. Upon ono occasion he was dining with an acquaintance when a fly dropped into the other man's coffee. The man carefully fished it out and called to a waiter. ' "Here," he said, "take this poor little fellow be very careful or you will hurt him and put him out of doors." Mr. Jefferson laid a restraining hand upon his shoulder. "Why, how can you think of such a thing, my dear friend? Don't you seo that It is raining? Suppose the poor little fellow should catch cold!" Harper's Weekly. Phosphorescent Waves. An unusual amount of phosphorus has floated In toward shore at Long Beach. There was a slight display last night, but to-night the spectacle afforded was beautiful. When the breakers rolled iu thousands of lights of all colors coujd be seen. When the waves broke against the boats at anchor the same result followed. Fish could be detected swimming be neath the water by the t.aln of elec tric sparks they left. Once In a while a large fish could be seen In the phos phorescence chasing a smaller one. The phosphorus extends about a mile out to sea. During the day it presents a muddy red appearance. The fish get out of the phosphorus covered water as quickly as possible. There were few fishermen along tho pier to-day as a result. Tho present condition will last perhaps a week, it is said. Los Angbles Herald. ' Graln-to-llread Record. A record time ror converting grain into bread has been established by a Canadian farmer. Wheat which was in the sheaf at 3 o'clock in the after noon was made into scones before 6. When operations began a wagon stood in the barn with about half a load of grain in the sheaf.' Beside it was a thresher; connected with this was a gasoline engine. Ts- engine was started, the sheaves were fed into the thresher, and tho grain was deposit ed in a bin. The power was then transferred to th,e cleaner, and the work of changing the newly threshed wheat into flour was quickly carried through. The rest' ol the task was easy. Chicago Journal. I REMEMBER. X rememler, I remember The hone where 1 w-us born, Th" stained-glass window where the IU9 ('nine peeping in nt morn; Ami mamma had such diamond, Siii h bows, and heart, nnd stars! Anil papa had audi splemlid yachts. And lovely private cars! I remember, I remember The parties they would hol4. The dinners and the dances, when The favors were of gold; For papa was the president Of nn insurance co., But when the public got too wise. Our grandeur had to go! Town Topic. Teacher "A miracle is going against the natur&l order of things. Are miracles performed to-day?" Bright Boy "Yes'm." Teacher "Name one." Bright Boy "Well, mamma says papa Is always turning night into day." Life. They tell us many a microbe squirms Upon the dollar bill; . . Well, we eon only say, with all Its germs we love it still. Boston Transcript. Premier Safetypin says he Intends to Inaugurate an iron rule tor the purpose of putting down the revolu tion. Meanwhile the terrorists are understood to have formulated plans for putting more Iron Into his sys tem." Chicago Record-Herald. "Why are you bowing to that man? Do you know him?" asked Madge, in surprise. "Yes," raid her chum, "he walked over me so many times get- ' ting out between acts at the theatre last night that we got real well ac quainted." Detroit Free Press. A young thing of some fifty sum mers was playing the piano before the open window, and said to her maid, "Maria, do you ,thlnk the Signor Stuzzlni opposite hears me?" "Yes, Senorlta, I am sure, as he is shutting his window." II Diavolo. "Aren't you afraid that horse wilt run away with somebody?" "Friend," said Broncho Bob, "it ain't nolhin' in Crimson Gulch for a hoss to run away with a man; it's when a man tries to run away with a hoss that there's danger." Wash ington Star. Vken a man's a big gun, You may make up your mind Oft he's pushed to the front liy the woman behind. Philadelphia Bulletin. "Do you understand the meaning of the word pedestrian?" "Yes, sir. A pedestrian is a man who stands on the curb aud watches the autos go by and wonders how he'll ever get across the street In time for his 6 o'clock dinner." Cleveland Plala Dealer. Pretty Daughter "So you don't like Tom?" Her Father "No, he appears to be capable of nothing." Pretty Daughter "But what objec tions have you to George?" Her Father "Oh, he's worse than Tom. He strikes me a3 being capable of anything." "I suppose," said the newspaper clerk, who was filing up the death notice, "you'll want the regular 'Relatives and friends are respect fully invited,' etc?" "Lerume see," replied the widower, "mebbe you'd bettersay: 'Relativesandfriends, also the neighbors.' " Catholic Standard. "Did you ever make any money on the board of trade?" "Yes, I made one hundred and seventy-five dollars there one day in less than twenty minutes." "Whew! What did you do with It?" "Oh, they got it back before I had a chance to see It." Chicago Record-Herald. Papa "Is the teacher satisfied with you?" Toby "Oh, quite." Papa "Did he tell you so?" Toby "Yes; after a close examination he Bald to me the other day: 'If all my scholars were like you I would strfit up my school this very day.' That shows that I know enough." In dianapolis Star. Acorn-llearcrs. No doubt the willow oak bears the smallest acorn. The Spanish oak's acorns rest in tiny cups. Even the dwarf oaks' show the most distinct acorns. The chestnut oak bears its pretty acorns in pairs. Among the small acorns are those of tho famous live oak. The beautiful burr oak bears big. handsome acorns In fringed, mossy cups. , The dainty and beautiful pin oak has put forth correspondingly dainty acorns. One finds small acorns nestling close to the branches of the laurel oak. But there's some distinguishing trait about each ar.J every member of this great family. Up to II ill). It Is said that Chairman Sherman, of the Republican campaign commit tee, was recently approached by a nomewhat unimportunt Ohio poll ileian, who, though formerly a Re publican, has of late years voted the ;tate Democratic tickets. it appeared from the man's con versation that ho had seen the error of his way, aud was now once more prepared to vote and work for the party which he had left. At the same time ho hinted he would like a job at campaign quarters. "I'm sorry," Mr. Shfrmau is re ported to have replied, "that I bhall have to disappoint you. Glad to see you back; but in these days the wise prodlgul brings along his own calf." Harper's Weekly. New Lecture Course. , , It was not uncommon .hla morning to see policemen at'the rear entrances nf business places delivering brief lectures to tbo porters aud others as to what was expected of them under the new order for keeping tho Wreets o.t'an. It will tako a little lime and some patience to effect the readjust ment, but ths vvnilt ought to ho gen eral, public Vctlet mailt, Boston Yranscrlnt.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers