GROT'S New York City. Tasteful morning Jackets are essential to comfort and well being and can scarcely be pos aessed In too great number. Tills very A A 1 mmm Wit ';.& i mm. A m WOMAN 3 MORNING JACKET. charming Mny Mnnton model lias the merit of beiug essentially feminine and graceful lit the snuie time that is Ideally comfortable. As shown, It is made of white dimity with collar of revering and frills of Valenoeuuies lace; but various while and colored materials can be substituted and nee dlework eon be made to take the place of lace. Dainty striped materials are fashionable and always effective; polka dots and other simple all-overs are admirable and such plain colors as blue, pink and lavender are pretty ,wuen they suit the wearer. The back of the Jacket is plain and terminates at the waist line, but the fronts ore elongated nnd fall in soft graceful folds. The sleeves ara in el- A STYLISH bow length and comfortably loose. At the neck Is a big sailor collor that is becoming to almost all wouica. To make this Jacket for a woman of medium size, three aud three-quarter yards of material tweuty-seven inches wide, three aud a quarter yards thirty two Inches wide, or two and a quarter yards forty-four Inches wide, will be required, with seven uud a half yards of lace to trim as illustrated. A Corset Sachet. The corset sachet U made of two yards of four-lncb wide satin taffeta ribbon In color to match the corset, or In the wearer's favorite tint. Make one yard of the ribbon Into a rosette bow, which fasten to the Alsatian bow, made of the other yard. Sew the selvedges of the ribbon In the Alsatian bow to gether, leaving a small opening at each end. Into which stuff white cotton bat ting, which has previously been used sprinkled profusely with sachet pow der. Violet and heliotrope mixed in equal proportions produce a delicate and laming odor that la liked by most people. Fasten this sachet to the out side of the corset at the bust Hue. A Rtyllsh Coslume. A stylish separate waist is of yellow silk of rather a deep shade, with a lit tle white at the neck, hardly enough to call a yoke or a vest. It shows u pretty contrast In blue velvet ribbon, which ornaments the waist at Ihe front inch wide ribbon of u sol't blue, which Is best described as a cadet, iu a number of long bows. Another pretty waist is the one shown iu the large drawing by May Maoton. Used in the same sketch is an attractive live-gored skirt which serves to complete a coscume of ex ceptionable beauty. String at Pearl In tha Hair. London is at last waking to life, dinners become more frequent. . and Jewels are once more In requisition. The newest notion is to twist strings of pearls iu the hair, and If tbia la neatly and artistically done, the effect la excellent, especially when the hair ia dark. This la really an old fashion revived, as a glance at books of beauty or portraits of aucestresses will easily prove. It is by no means necessary to use real pearls; indeed, many peo ple consider that contact with the hair Injuries the beauty of valuable pearl. Coral Piping. A wood-colored tweed, soft and One, Is made up quite simply with a tailored model, and plenty of lapped seams and rows of stitching. A touch of color occurs on the bodice, , in the neighborhood of the white lace front. Coral pink panne velvet is used to pipe the opening, to edge the nigh stock collar, to border tha wrist edge of (he i. i Ur sleeve. There Is not too much of the vivid yet dull pink, just enough to be grateful to the eye. Coral pink Is gen era lly becoming to blondes, nit hough brunettes oftener wi-ar It. Hweeteat of Morning .fackete. The sweetest of morning jackets Is made of accordion crepe llsse, with deep ruffle of luce. The sleeves are el how length, and also lace ruffled. A fichu, the lower edgt of which Is threaded with black velvet ribbon, fastened with rosette aud euds at the back, extends across the bust, nnd Is caught under a similar fastening. A black velvet threading nnd rosette completes the sleeve at the elbow. Knot Superseding Bnw, la the wash ties nnd neckbands fash ion bus produced something ns prac tically useful and durable as It is pret ty. The pique stocks of white, with a narrow colored lawn tie, always look fresh with a cotton gown. The knot seems to be superseding the bow. Ob Ions ties with rounded ends are among the newest, nnd some are ornamented with tiny pearl buttons. The New Wed. linn Veil. Some new wedding veils of the most diaphanous sort are in thin chifTon. beautifully hand embroidered nt the border with white silk. They are frail and elusive as a mist. Brooches For Belts. r.roochos especially designed to fasten the belt or the blouse in front are one of the latest novelties. The prevailing style is a turquoise set In dull gold, nnd the size seems to de pend on the capacity of the purse. A Bit of Color on the Handkerchief. A suggestion of color on the handker chief is coming more and more into COSTUME. general favor. Narrow hemstitched borders of a color matching the sum mer suit are used, and many of the French initial handkerchiefs have the letters set on u shield of pink, blue or greeu. For Young Girls. Dressmakers are making evening gowns for young girls with ruffled skirts, with three wide flounces com posing the skirt, or trimmed wiMi u cluster of narrow ones at the foot. Woman' Tucked Skirt Waiit. The shirt waist that closes at ihe. back Is a marked feature of the : u son and Is peculiarly effective when made of fine materiul stitched iu tucks. The smart May Manton design shown is admirable in every way. The orig inal Is of white lawn with insertion of Valencennles lace and is charming ly simple; but the style leuds Itself to many materials and combinations. The front is tntkeo to yoke depth only and so forms soft, becoming folds below, but the backs are tucked to the waist line to give the snug 'At essential to correct style. The sleeves are novel, and altogether charming, being laid in two groups of tucks, four each, with lace between. At the wrists are soft cuffs of lace and tuck ing nnd at the neck is a stock to match. As shown, the material beneath the lace Is cut away to give a transparent effect, bu the Insertion can be put on j as applique if preferred. i To cut this waist for a woman of I medium size, four yards of material twenty-one Inches wide, three and TDCUD IHIBT WAIST. three-eight yards twenty-seven Inches j wear anything too tight around the wide, three and a half yards thirty- j neck It is the cause ot countless trou two Inches wide, or two and a quar- j Llea or a stock that ia lined with any ter yards forty Jour inches wide, will thing but white, and that must be of be required. I the softest material possible. Stiff lin- cu collar should be lelcgiiteil to the PRETTY SUMMSR FASHIONS. Effective Uses of Linen and Insertion La Valllere Chnlns. For summer wear natural linens and linen colored stuffs were never bo popular us now. The craze extends even to neckwear, embroideries, trim mings nnd Inces. Linen shirt waist suits of the really washable kind commend themselves at once for their excellent wearing qualities and con venience In 'country outings. In the more dressy gowns the linen or ecru lias the advantage of combining readi ly with other eclors. White end lin en will be a favorite combination for a hot day. A simple but exceedingly stylish afternoon gown of silk aud linen batiste displayed by n well known costumor Is trimmed with moderately heavy ecru Insertion and black velvet ribbon. The deep flonuco Bundling the bottom of the skirt Is beaded with the insertion, which is set on in Vandyke points that turn upward. The Inser tion also appears In upright lines along the senms of the skirt. An ecru lac? yoke, with Vandkye points turned downward Is touched off at one side With a bow of black velvet ribbon hav ing long ends, which fall nearly to t to;i of the flounce. A black velvet rjsetts nppcar-s at the back of the girdle. Black or white embroidery ou 1 ucu grounds Is much in use for Louuccs. rn the lino of neckwear, a broad col lar of tuMccd or embroidered linec, or c li:ica ticliu worn with a (right red hat or with a touch of red on the gown, shows to excellent nJvautage. There U U3 longer any doubt ns to llio oeiI-j;: In, to a limited extent, of cl'jow sbeves nnd low necks. Some cf tlio newly imported gowns and waists In thla fabrics are worn with f.c".rj3 an.l berthas or sailor collars. Others appear with stock that can bo removed oa a warm day. Long. flow Ins lacs Is to bo worn U the sloevea ura oi elbow L-Jgth. The curnner nlso brings to the front tlio shirt waist hat, whoso wit: polka dot ribbon trl.nmlng is driving the Cower decorated hats Into the back ground. Black or navy blue dots on whito ri'mou, ar? mat taking. The Lvt should invariably bo finlrbed with artistic quills. With whatever costuae. the passion for Jewelry and glided turquoise, or pearl ornaments, In a most conspicu ous feature cf tliD summer modes. The La Valllero chains, ta be worn about lh? neck with c vinaigrette, give op rortuuity for tho indulgence of the It.Jt wayward fancy. All sorts of lit tla charms r.rj worn on thoso chains. Cata with crched backs, dogs, horses, )ven buffaloes, are seen. Such small details add a piquancy to the co--I'jrjes which renders it doubly attrac tive. Xcw York Tribune. Why Women Fail In Easiness. Business wotaen In evorv lc-inri mrnt of lifj ars able to eara larger salaries to-uay than ever before. Utter fad l.res In business life ni'o rin tn nnn f two causes: incompetence or ill ueaitu. 'iako Journalism or literature for Iastuuce, sinca that Is the career to many young women attempt to pursue. It is a uistake to imagine tjat a good education nnd a facile ars all that nr: required. Good health is absolutely essential I speak now particularly of Journalism-and unless one is exceptionally strong this branch cf literary work should be left eutireiv alone. Delicate, sensitive, nerotls women who attempt newsnnoer w-.rk nr ie. reparably injuring their health, for mo woric demanded is coustant and tiring. Women who undertake this work must be willing to go anywhere ct a moment's notice; from morning Interviews to afternoon and evening social functions, Irrespectlvo of weather or disposition, is but c. part of the work she raay bo assigned and when that part of the work is done the "copy" raust be gotten ready for the paper. Delicate women almost in variably become failures, because, un less one has a constitution of iron, a nervous breukdown ia inevitable. Writers of fiction and magazine arti clca escape theso disadvantages, but la their case real ability is required. This Is tha real stuaibUng block to many. Besides a good general educa tion aomethlug iu addition 1j required to make a succesefrl writer. Most be ginners in literature fall because they try to make their writings convey a souse of the amount of learning they Lave acquired instead of dealing with l-io matter they profess to bo writing r.poa an 3 trying to infuse into it a little of their own originality; others fail becauso they scorn subjects close at horao and alu for hflchu thut are attainable only after years of toil, and auotaer class of writer fail, or be come discouraged cud abaudun their work, because they fail to select proper uedlums to sond taelr taani icrlpt to and therefore naturally have it rejected. The abovo are but a few of the rea sons why so many women give up lit erature uud look to other Celds for employment. Clara Williamson, ki American Queen. To Imprvva tba Throat. There are tones of despair through ut the land, and they are caused by one of fashion' latest whims. It la noticeable that nearly all of the Imported gowns thla season are col larlcaa, hence the loud outcrlea from the many women whoso throats will net bear daylight exposure. The very nrst thing for the would be reformer to do la to do away with the evil that hat caused all the trou ble, viz.: high or stiff collar. Un starched duck makes an excellent foundation for stocks, aud Is not stiff enough to Injure the throat. Never masculine sex; an fashion has let go of them, there Is hope already. The. English fashion of brenkfast Jackets with low sullor collnrs Is be ing taken up by many beauty seeker. It is a sensible and becoming style, nnd the liest possible way to acquire a pretty neck and throat Any num ber of society girls are making a prac tice of having nil their house gowns constructed without collars, and, as a consequence, the Improvement In the color of the skin Is much hastened. Absolute cleanliness is one of the requisites of a pretty neck. A thorough soaking in warm water and a pure snap should be ghen at least once a day; then a rinsing In clear warm water, and finally fold water to close the pores. Tincture of bonisoin added to the water will have a whitening effect en the skin. A few drops, only are necessary. Often the neck Is disfigured by dark lines produced by h!gh and stiff neck wear. In such a case cucumber milk will be fouud very beneficial. It should be well rubbed Into the pores after they have beea cleansed by tin warm water nnd soap, and before the cold water Is used. Probably the tissues are relaxed, and a genernl flabbluess Is the result. To remedy this procure a good niassnge cream, and after the fingers have been nnnolnted rotate (he muscles of the neck firmly In a slanting direction from ruder the chin toward tlio plioul dera, aud from til? rilddlo of thi throat backward and upward toward the cars. Hrcathlas rserclses will c'.o rif.ch to ward rre'Cing out a id sirengLUcnliig the U'.roat muscles. ru.lliidelohla Press. A rfatiJsomn NlglitroTjn, A very pretty nightgown ira.i ntv.lo of flue longcleth. The back, Irstad of tha once iibiq-iltovi yoke, was ar ranged In two box pleats and ret into a band nt the neck. The fro:it boasted of a little V opening, nnd tho whole was raost daintily finished by r. wido failor collar tdcrnoj with a frill of hemstitched cambric. This, In addi tion, was carried dorn the opelil.ig ard nror.nd the wrists, bclag sot oa everywhere with a ui.rrow llugerij trading. Another nightgown, also slightly open at th j throat, was arranged on a tiny square yoke, back nad front, composed of two rows of Insertion, a little frill cf edging to match coming at tho top aud a much wider fn'rt -nt tho lower edge. Tho opening itself waa rather n narrow box pleat, with two rows of feather stitching. Tho wider frilling was n.;ain responsible for thn wrist finish, ni. also a feather stltclied baud of the loiigcloth. I:i both cases the nkirt part was In two bradths. having a side gore, the sloping side of which was laid to tho back and the straight edge to the front. Six yards cf longcloth will bo found sufficient, or the uamo cuantity of cambric, if that latter fabric be preferred. Martyr to Fashion's Came. Constantinople receives some cf Its fashions in n truly universal ranun:r. A wctnan whose husband Is attached to the Freuch Embassy, anxious to rectify the antiquated styles provail lug in tlmt city, had her hair dressed by one of the best coiffeurs iu Paris. aud set out at once for Constantinople by thqCrlout Express. Although put to no small palm to keep her hair la order during the long ride of coverty hours, she nevertheless succeeded, r.nd was able to introduce into Coattuu tinople the latc-r Parisian coitui'e. Women Doctor! in ITonpUaU. The number of women who act ra atteudius physicians in lios.iltals is rapidly lecreasiug. Thre? such iiavo recently been cppclntad oa tho ctatf of Cook Count Hotnital. f.'hlc.ir-T They aro Drc. I'lorouco :iimt, Joiu ette Kearsley nnd Joscplilac Jaclirca, graduates of tho Vo nan's Mec'.ical ijcnool, Aorthwestera University. Buckie effects la gtrrw are et.-lisj. Curled u; edges uaii the Lrims of outing bats. The gold craze seens to Lav: CiCci Into obscurity suddcaly. Trimmings of all s;:-t3 end kinds developed frcra India Liusllu ara very popular this season. Stretched bucks, entirely without the usual waist fulness, la a uotlceablo feature of smart bodices. Foulard tailor gowns aro tu3 latest exhibited, but so far none has ap peared on the street as yet. Spanish blonde, recently Imported from Paris, la receiving qulto a littlo atteutiou for ,'arnlshlag touuce3 and neckwear. The bloutio type of corsage la end less variety, with thos j oZ white cr cream lace very proralae'nt, is luj smart Bummer waist. Trimmings are moro elaborate thnu ever in their endless and capritlo.ts variety, notwithstanding tho rauch talked of "simple summer frock." Many wide-brimmed hats, leghorn aud other braids, are blushed wkh u wide binding of bluck velvet, showing at least half an Inch ou tho right bide. Brown hollaud Is uguiu jn vogue, made ia regular tailor lorn, aud trimmed with strappings of the sauio material, or rows of wavlug line of linen lace. For the moment field flower are H greut favor for millinery. UucJiekir buttons, lautiowers, aud poppies cro in evidence, aud they decorate hats of rough ec.u straw, as well a those of soft black straw. Any number of serge and linen gown and skirt made all of whit are worn this yeur. to say nothing of the linen duck, which 1 excellent for sep arate skirts. This ha been 'called a duck-skirt year. If one' skirt open at the side, there 1 no possibility of It gapiug under any condition or serious mishap. It I comparatively easy, with tho pres ent style of gowns, to open the skirt at one aide of the panel or at the front and have the skirt entire la the back. ... ., ... household hints: Iteriarlna: Coal Bill. The following exerlment Is so sim ple that It may be worth the atteutlon of many householders who find an ac cumulation of coal dust In their cellars: Mix three ports of ordinary garden earth with one port sawdust and pout over It. a kettleful of boiling water, In which has been dissolved a little wash ing soda. Hack n Are ot ordinary household conl well with this mixture. After It has burned for two or three minutes the caked dust gives out n clear glow of heat aud burns away much slower than large coul. Hon- to rtemove Ktalnt. All stains should be removed before the articles ore put Into the washtub. The sooner n stain Is treated the more readily It will yield to the treatment. Pour boiling wnter through fruit slalim; wIumi obstinate soak In n solu tion of oxalic acid. Wash vaseline stains iu alcohol; paint, In turpentine or alcohol: varnish. In alcohol; grass or other green vegetable staius, in nleo hoi, kerosene or inolasscn; for stains from blood, meat Juice, use white of egg In cold water. In the case of milk, cream, sugar or syrup stains soak In cold water and wash with soap and cold water. Tar, wheel grease or ma chine oil stains should be rubbed with lard and allowed to stand n few min utes, then they should be washed with soap and cold wnter. Tea, coffee or cocoa stains should be removed with boiling water; If obstinate, with a weak solution of oxalic add. Maria Pailoa, In the Ladles' Home Journal. Small Ire Cream Freezer. The quart Ice cream freezers which were put out long ago ns a sort of toy have established for themselves n wide use. says the New York Evening Post. In the sick room and In the col lege anil boarding school dormitory they have filled a wnnt that has been felt but uot recognized until their sat isfactory service began. Tersons boarding have found them an easily utilized convenience, and the bachelor girl is sure to count one in her studio or den. Dealers are finding a sale for them now for use In small families. A quart of caterer's cream Is estimated to serve five peivotis. and the home made Ice goes still further. The little freezers are easily operated, and can be tucked away iu any ice-box for the ripening process of their contents so conveniently that the laziest kitchen maid Is willing to use them. A little experience adapts any of the numer ous receipts for creams, Ices, sherbets, frappe, mousse or parfait to the limi ted quantity of the miniature freezers, nnd makes easily possible an ludcliu Ite list of frozen des.serts. Canning flrape Jnlce. Not every housekeeper has learned that pure grape Juice can be canned. Those who have ventured are de lighted with results, although some do not go about It the right way. It is needless to cook the fruit' before straining. It injures flavor. The grapes should be gathered In n cleanly manner. If no fruit press is nt hand, Just simply uinsh the fresh plucked grapes, in any good-sized re ceptacle, preferably proeelniu liued, it being best uot to let the juice come In contact with tin. I'se a wooden masher (and wooden spoons, If any) strain oil the Juice, run it through n strong, fine cheesecloth; heat to smart boiling (no more than that, aud lu por celain lined kettles), nnd immediately seal up in fruit Jars. Stand Jars bottom up a while. If any prove not airtight, bent again and use a thicker rubber ring. Use no old, dead rubber, or worn-out rings. Tut no sugar to the Juice. Keep it pure grape juice, aud serve It so. Au ordiuary sized family will wish there were hundreds of Jars of grape juice In their storeroom, so delightful and refreshing Is the drink. The value of it ooco understood, there will be no grape to spare; no question of "What will we do with all these grapes. " American Agriculturist. 2 nuiLsnnoLD RECIPES Horseradish Sandwiches Spread a thin layer of grated horseradish upon whole wheat bread that has been but tered with almond butter. Form Into sandwiches. Suushlue Cake Whites aud yolks of six eggs, one cup granulated sugar, two-thirds cup of flour sifted seven times, one-half tenspoonful cream of turtar aud then beat very stiff, stir in the sugar, stir In the yolks, add the flour. Hake thlrty-flve minutes. Banana Tapioca Puduiug-Onu cof fee cupful of line tapioca dissolved iu a quart of cold water; cook until trans parent, then add one teacupful of augur, one teaspoouful of vuuilu or lemon Juice and four bananas sliced thin; when cold serve with cream and sugar. Almond Stick Chop one cup cold butler into two cups flour, add one teaspoon of baking powder, one half teaspoon of salt, one-half teaspoon paprika. When fine like weal, wet Into soft dough with Ice water. Itoll one-quarter Inch thick, spread with blanched and browned almonds, press with rolling pin, cut into strip and bake, Tlneapple Frltter-Sift together one and one-third cup of flour, one-fourth teaspoonful of salt nnd two teu spoonful of baking powder. Beat un egg lightly, add two-thirds of a cup of milk and gradually stir into the dry IngredleuU; add one cup of piueapile In slice cut into small piece. Drop by spoonful Into hot fut, ind fry to a golden brown. Druiu on sofi pajicr and serve. s ONE CURE FOR HICCOUGHS. Neighbor not a 1-Ing Man Kent Kitlteri, Trovlns III Theory. A nitighaniton man began to hic cough lust Saturday. Ho hiccoughed up all day nnd nil night, nnd was hard at It Sunday morning. Every remedy that his alarmed frleuds gave him seemed to accelerate the hicks. Peo ple sent lu from nil over town recom mending sure cures. And he stendily grew worse. Then a wise neighbor bad n bright Idea. He thought It nil out liinixelf. He went over to the hlccoi'glier's home, nnd was ushered Into the room where 1he afflicted on- wns fn;t hic coughing his life away, "Hullo!" nid the neighbor. In a light nnd cheerful tone; "how' the old soak this morning?" The sufferer rolled his eyes at the neighbor in a painful surprise. "Don't give me any of your croct dlle glances." snorted the friend. "If you'd quit drinking When I told you to you wouldn't be in this shameful condition." "Whn-hle-did you-hlc-cnll me?"' " he Stuttered. 'Tailed you a sponge, you lobster!" bellowed the neighbor. "You're n pret ty object lesson for your unfortunate children, ain't you, you sniping old hypocrite?" "(Jet out ot my-hlc lioiie." roared the sick man. "Co to blazes!" yelled tho neighbor. "I'm going to stay right 1'c.p and the Inst of you. The pcoule on the street sent nie over. 'Wnlt until the old wolf's gone. they said, 'and then wave a flag out o'thc window.' , Tlf.v are going to have a jolllfic.-ition supper nnd fireworks to-night nnd don't yon dare to disappoint 'em!" This was too much for I lr hlccougli er. He said several very bad words ns he made n dash nt the niU:!-,'icr. mid they raced around the ni.mi half a dozen times, the hlccoimliiv getting madder nt every jump, imt then the neighbor darted through the door nnd escaped. The sick man flung a (lower pot at liini ns he raced down the yard, and then lie suddenly realized that his hic coughs bnd gone. For thnt wns a part of the neighbor's theory, you see. He believed that if he could get the dying man real ex cited nnd nugry the nlltictinii would leave him. And he proved ho was right. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Shrewd Thievery. "Americans who go abroad must ex pect to be robbed right and Icfi." i:ald a young man who recently returned from a brief European tour. "One ex pects to be held up for nil sorts of tips, but when the beggars follow you home you can't help feeling a sort of admiration for their lugenuity. I went over on oue. of the Ucd Star Line boats, and the first thing I did on landing at Antwerp wes to go to the cable ollice aud send a nicssag? to my mother, announcing my pafe arrival. I paid the toll and thought no more about It until I got home, when, anions my mall, I fouud a lei lor from the Antwerp operator, addressed in care of my mother, saying that through an error ho hnd not charged n:e enough for my cablegram sent oa such and such a date; that he had been obliged to pay the difference out of hii own pocket, nnd as bis salary was very Hinnll nnd lie had n largo family and nil that sort of think, he fell sure 1 would reimburse hlm.pi The amount was a trifling one, aud I did send him a foreign money order. 1 have since learned from cxperlcti cd travelers thnt I had been made the victim of a systematic form of robbery, and Unit scarcely n cablegram U sent from tin other side unless it is of a husir-.cs.-t nature, that Is' not followed by some such plea from the I.uropean opera tor." Philadelphia Ilecord. The Deadly llou bout. The boating season lias barely opened and yet two distressing facili ties are reported in which ten lives were lost. At Philadelphia a pany of young plckulckerB hi a rowboat were swept over one of the most dangerous dams In the Schuylkill ilivcr amis, en ut of the eight cciupmits were drowned, while nt Cle, thuul throe young men were thrown i'mia n nont Into the river uud rii'.m; Icljrj iicip could reach tlieui. Yiii-i in iiiil -c-d n ilolcf'.'l Imiugurullou o a miis iii usual ly so fraught with peul io ,i:c thought less, and inex;)ei'leneed rov. '.-ivi. Vi e doubt, however, whether even tili.j ter rible warning so early lu th stsisuu will suffice ti check lac heeiiiess peo ple who rUk their own and cihcr peo ples' live In a pa: lime thnt uhoitld only be undertaken under the mout careful direction. To the foolish people who rock the boat and to the thousands of would be oursmen who go -rowing upou streams that hide dangerous currents, these early fatalities should prove an effective warning. Wu doubt v. leath er they will, and the way ot "siil'o.y for their companions Is to suiy ou laud and let the venturesome and iiR'Xor! enced boatmen put only their own ! lives In Jeopardy. Pit tsuur;; Ciin.ui i cle Tclegruph. Tried Hulli Wu.yi . Some of the lumuto oi' n Yorkshire asylum were cugagid In saiviiig wood, uud au attendant thought that one old fellow, who appeared to b? working as hard as anybody, had not luccii to show for his labor. Approaching hlui the nttanuuni soon discovered the cause of this. Tho old man had turned his saw upside divu, with the teeth in the uir, nad was working away with the -buck of the tool. "Here, I say, J ," rcma:.,.,; the atteuduut, "what are you dolu-,' Xuu'll never cut the wood ia lhaj: i'aluou. Turn the saw over!" The old man paused nnd s(.t:'i u con temptuously at the attendant. "Did ta Iver try a saw this way';" he asked. , "Well, no," replied tho uiteudnnt, "Of course I haven't." "Then bod thy noise, uion," was the Insurnt rejoinder. ' "I've tried both way, I hev, and" impressively "thlt 1 t' eutlest." Loudon Spare Mo ment. How to Attala fcn Old Age. An American physician nimocaccf that he has discovered the secret of attaining extreme old age.- Ic In mere ly to preserve un absolute tvnsr ieu tlouspen through life, OUR BUDGET OF J1DM0K LAUCHTER-PROVOKINC ST0RIE3 FOrt LOVERS OF FUN. And Thnt Settled It A Hint The Might rtllur Abntrnne and Catrh Kronen able The Vaudeville Iln An Odd Caie He Iratnedlalelj Ntillrd One, Kir. The queen was in the counting house, Counting out her money; The king was in inn iron room, Looking scared and funny; The maia was iu the garden, Hanging up her clot.lira; Along came a homhxliell And hioned otf her noe! ; liiibi(;itolifl Sun. i - A Hint. ' Iter Admirer "Love lives on ho;i you know." She "Yes; and one wonders, some times, how it II nds any!" Puck. The Mighty Dollar. "Do you think t Ihe .ncqnlsilinu OT great wealth is a good thing?" "I know It. Why, It makes tts l:,ve our enemies." Detroit Free Prcv. AlmlrnH nnd Calrhy. "Here's a irew book called 'If.'" "How absurd; what are you going to inline your cxlian.-itlve work o:i lan guages?" "I thought of calling, it 'Suy.' " Henionwlile. Mrs. Jones "The wiy barbr'ar should be taxed, but I duu'r lh.nl: they are always to blame." Mr. .fonvs "Ceriaiaiy no!! X i i ut i Is nl ways to blame itniil he gei Slur ried!" Puck. The Vaudeville !!p. "Daughter, perhaps if yo't t.'U more time with your hair it wotib'.ii't look so rough and b:i.L,.?.V over yi.i. left eye." "Time? Why, pa, it took ni" two solid hours to make it looU that w, y." -C'iiieaso Ilecord Herald. ' An Odd Cane. Xcnrpass "I see that a man com mitted suicide hec;iro be rhndghl . 3 had outlived his use! ulnrss." Bonnet "That's hlrauge. The av erage victim of that complaint keeps right on outliving ii." Puck. He Iimnedlutely H(i;lied One. "It takes a clever man to tiiiuk up a good proverb," remarked Mrs. Twiccwcd, and then lor once her woi'sor one-eighth plucked up courage. "Oh, I dou'l know," Maid he; "how's this, 'All grass widnw.iare not greeu.' " Philadelphia Press. Scientific Tadpole "Pa. what's the difference between u mushroom and , a toad stool?" Mr. Frog "Oh, Runny, when a tond stool tries to poison Homebody aud cau't these botanii.t men up aud say he's a mushroom." Impoverishing Family Tlee. "Yes. my little sister was n good stenographer, but 1 bud lo get her another position." "Whnt wns the trouble?" "Oh, every time I left the office she woull call out: 'Bring me some can dy.' "Chicago i:ecord-lcrald. Mora : Don't Drop Your O'e. ".Mamma," said little P.ertie, "do ra vens have headaches?" "Why. no, my dear," the child's mother answered, "what makes you r.sk uuch a question as Hint?" "Well, I heard papa say this morn ing that he Lad a raven headache.'' Shrewd. "I issiat (hat iny dargliter shall play nothing but cla:;sk'.il music," said Mr. SWiups liarkcr. "For what reason?" "None of the neirjiilmrs know a thing about it, and sha ca.'i murder a piece all she wauls to, without tacir dariug to say a word." 3Iuolt Cleverer. "Don't you think a woiuc.n is clever enough lo do any work that a man au?" Inquired the lady with a reso lute Jaw. "Oh. she is much cleverer than that," answered Miss Cayenne. ". io is clev er enough to inuko the man do the work aud give her Ihe bciicllt of it." Washington Star. Meant Well, But Made Him rervoun. Mr. Fljjit "Pleanc don't send that messenger boy who stutters up lo my hnuue again." Telegraph Manager "What did ho do?" Mr. Fljjit "Nothing; but I gave hlni a tweuty-ftve-ceut piece, aud he huug around all afternoon trying to say 'thanks.' "Ohio State Joqrual. To Correioud. "I wonder why," unlit the girl .la tho pale greeu shirt waist, "the vertical system of penmanship is becoming un fashionable nowadays." "Have you forgotten," replied the girl lu the Gainsborough hat, "iliat in the best circles we have dlscurdid the vertical system of walking and adopt ed a luodillcd slaut?" Chicago Tii buue. Uii Obtervntion. "It Is strungn how olteu the unde serving seem to prosper," remarked the thoughtful man. "Yes," unswered Senator Sorghum. "I huve noted suth a tendency In af fairs with growing apprehension. Every once In a while some oue with out any money or influence worih mentioning gets au office." Washing ton Star.. Pradence. -'What made you jum: iulo the midst of the light?" Inquired the friend. "You had nothing to do with the feud these men were trying to s tie." "That's perfectly true," uuswered Colonel Stilwell. "Cut I had to take sides one way or the other. I couldn't take chance on being au inuoccnt by stander." An Arlloe Dodger. Cltlxen "I want a perfectly noise less lawn mower." Dealer "You are a very considerate person." i Citizen "Yes. J have to be; If I can't get up eurly and cut g:vss with out the neighbors hearing mo I'll have, to lend that lawn mower seven tinua before I get to u.ie It nga'u wysidf." Chicago Itecord Herald,
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers