THE FUNNY MAN. BY JAMES -TODD. (h m mi, at HTrt morning William Vid-g-or, nt his desk in ttio J aily llecord olliee, imuacd in the exer ciso of pre paring the h n morons r.t 11 in 11 n 11 il v ....... f ?,i-V'' groaned, Ren- tly, but with unmistakable earnestness. the adjoining desk, i. x- it him iii amazement, nnvei daring his J""01'14 ot l'1'0" , o.mtiguity to Widtfer, had ,irtcil similar demonstration. ttj,inPil the fact nt mice. 1S m.tliiii?, " i il Vid3er; "that , doI'j'";? s''i)1,!,i I came near j.r.al l'oem instead of jingle, nil." , oil timt rather serious," said "Heavens! J'.illy, you must j You're on tho verge) of A chup of Tour talent .,tiio c.irt'fnl." i,l Widgcr, lazily. You ,ieivitiry, IVrk. AVhat do you ,il,iit poetry and its relation to .ifMiimistioii. Do you consider duclion of real poetry nn imli- vcakness nt tho nerve ecu Do von " :,; bat seo here Rilly, I'vo pro He 'lliutH to llonsekeepors And ro.l ami llenlth' coluuius for jiv-cr li'Kiilaily for three yours mil " jilinvo prepared "the 'Aunt Jo--.Talks WitU Oii-ln" column," iu le.l Widgcr. You are a vile , more sothan yon, Hilly. Don't Jmjiensitive heart, kind friend, t Tu. The Uncord is avowedly josl popular paper in the Mis pi Valley nnioug the women. ' 'lis I. liilly, we, MUlIm womim how to nook. lni:iki. tlmir humus successful; ii-Iis llii-m lunv Hint pimply loutt rdiil.Ti-1 less distressful. Silly, I Oswald K. Fcrkius, tho irrilmu, who wouldn't know how like Inula homo. Thst's tho :ol my success, Hilly; I'morig- ;t.wso you do not know ntiy nelly. Ihit r.s to yourself, ewppnsed to ho funny. Your is wll liked. Some people nc j laugh at .Your verses jinglo ntiy, and your paragraphs ure nt of ginyor. You hold your Vim tat. Tint. Uillv. dear. :'.-J be very difl'jrcnt if you should ermto poetry real poetry, as ill it, You'd ceaso to eat. Your -.', deprived of the food they r. would become toneless, snup- Prostiation, agony, lingering unwept, uuhouored, unsung, iiluit, liilly." V'er nailed. mini he. "von aro ti freak. 'raaro wiso you must be or you uuueniiie to humbug the women 'ill). You are also u crenllomnii. 1 believe a good judge of " msiiv; poetry." don't kuow. '"'. Head that, and toll mo what :iiuk." tins pro llered tho sheet with nf Hiiuiili.y, and looked at it from mm of his oyos. Then ho Ut back. rretty bad, liilly," said he "J. "I dou't think I ever read ';') ;-rim ilotli roml my heartstrings, :Jl'uli ilHKM oin k :i Httlo short, '.'"'"el perfectly well, old man?" '".i am well enough, but 1 ma in spirit. Do you suppose, 1 -8'aiu-iug at the clock "that iv Jim my eoutldence for nbout nmmtos it would seriously in- e itli tho glorious work yoii aro i m lienightcd womon? I think il wake me feel better." 'ug," replied 1'orkins firmly, "tetero with that. Go ahead, u, ' .'"luck iii his dmir w;lU nu iu mu cither side of his noso jSri'teiistio attitudo when inro- "UO onou infnrmo.l !.. M'tonnist when that bi-illinnt n'liide,! yoinigmnn begged him fllttllWT" ...l.:i.. w: i . i i i . o nuuu tv lugor siowiy c" "10 sheets from his desk au'd 'W'U lilt,, ..,.: L' know where I came from. ,1, " a8ke'l. dropping tho strips 119 aste huskot; nl. Hilly. y0 didn't know . tJ from a hole in the ground, wiilered Minneapolis mere- ""tcllilot.iv in ,., kiL 0 l''vcl'g Oazetto uud i" e!'ua:itl'o sands of the sou. J lung, from heavy editorial : v ri """'il juiiijjh i lun ;, " may uot.'oltoRothur bo my 'tiiiH. i , uro UoI'a 'overs, .." to the tendency, and some uf"t uimn them. It wan ""oil inn A...1 .i... !nuu . luu lU0 inaiiieu s Smith," 'toitli-w...;.. .. .;?.""" mumbled rei Mli, 0 ,)l''Sllt loxioon of Dill ,,,e uo such word as go ie?vi1!i('fl BW. Kirla BO." ami "well set head, Wi.l,. y: .K001' olonl' fuco and ia,0.V; ' Uur fue', who owned ..li,, ,' , r"18 was aeoustomed to . 1H1 1 lmil ll0(. talu , ... ""J HUB l...f f uin. ,."L,ue x experienced itoi.HU"u' know 1 Dev... ' , 1 B,IPl'"ae it was love, I n., . , n Wur'1 btt " to "onoa that it would be too ili(j;i-"'-ungl,t lose wo my diil litil i,. , "Uow ' ua l"it I was MO III V 1. ..... 1. 1 viuiuj iieuer m the Uei,',u,".lm tJ (find ou tho voti? "ul I"y- I made my 'a-ii A . t"aBS wishing she "-"jf u-oiu the ollico, bo Hint I might foi-RCt her. Hut T drew a long breath of relief tho next time she nppearod, mid answered her dues- lions nliout 'his and that thing jour nalists, and listeueil to her blissfully when she told mo what a glorums pro fession she thought it and what an ornament to it she considered me. Mio sounded in ci freiiuentl v on mv ambitions, and I told her freely what were my hopes. " 'You aro wedded to your work.' sho said to me one day. l nni, I replied. "Then tho looked at. mo with an expression which I did not under stand nnd changed tho subject. I never saw her outside of tho olliee. I was practically penniless, and she accustomed to luxury. I was not in society. Our lives had little in com mon. I loved her. Tho thing for mo to do, as a sensible person, was to mako the bast of it silently, and I did so. Did I do light, Perk?" "Precisely, Hilly. Oct along." "Well, after a while her engage ment to one of the great men ol tho city name Jones was announced, and it fi ll upon my harrowed soul with much tho gentleness of a thun derclap. I felt bad, Perk, but nt tho samo time felt glad glad that I had not Hindu un nss of myself. 1 had been sorely tempted, hoavon knows. At tho first opportunity she hud droppod into tho olliee to re load her camera in the coat closet I shook bauds with her and told her as clearly as I. could not knowing what to say how delighted I was, and, sir, she turned squarely about with out a word and left ifie high and dry, looking every bit, I doubt not, as foolish as I felt. That was in Jauu- my. luo wouiliug was to occur m J line. "I worked like a cold weather fly nnd tried to forget her. I succeeded pretty well. Her visits to the oflice hnd ceased with my well-meant con gratulatory performance, and this made it easier for me, although my heart beat like shorthand whenever I heard a female voice from tho private oflice, and the sudden swish of skirts caused mo to jump violently. Hut I did not seo her again until May three weeks beforo tho wed ding. Sho had been in Chicago, I believe, paying a farewell visit to a schoolmate, and incidentally " "Never mind that, Hilly," inter jected Perkins. "You don't know what she was doing incidentally. C'omo to tho poi.it." Widger bowed gravely. "All right, Pork. I thank you. 1 was nlono in tho ofiicj one stormy nighi, fixing up a string of airy falsehoods for the next day, when tho telephone bell rang like forty iiies. I put the receiver to my ear, held it there for perhaps n minute, yelled 'yes' into the trans mitter, bolted into my overcoat nnd turned out tho light. "I was at O., H. and X. shops five minutes later, nnd, swinging onto tho rear platform of tho caboose attached to a wrecking train, in an hour I was on the sceno of the worst railway smash-up in tho history of Minnesota. "liver seo a splintered passenger trniu at night, Perk white faces .star ing nt you by lantorn light, groans deeming to rise out of the earth, steam, smoko, horror? I never real ized until that night what an awful thing darkness is darkness to whhh there is no limit Hint almost sullo cates a man and strikes him blind. Time and nguin I involuntarily paused my hnud before my face to clear a way in tho blackness for my eyes. "There was a stat ion not far awny, and nfter getting what information I could I took my way in that direction to get oil' some dispatches for the first editions of tho morning papers, stumbling along as best T could, yearning for light, light, light. Aud, Pork, I I there was light." "Celestial lire, Hilly?" "Something like it. I stumbled over a . body finally. I had lnjen dreading it, and praying that I might bo steered clear of that sort of ob stacles. It gave out tho faintest kind of a moan when I struck it, uud I re coiled as much as fifteen feet, I think, Then I took n firm grip on myself nnd approached it ugnin, because that seemed to be my duty. "The mnu or woman, whichever it was, hnd evidently crawled out of tho wreck nnd tried to go Boinewhero. It had failed wretchedly. It was lying in the long, wet grass nt quite a little distance from the track. It might not bo found for hours if I passed it by. Nevertheless, I hesitated. I confess it with shame. "Then I knelt by its side and passod my hands over its cold, raiu wusliod face and bedraggled hair. It was a womau. I put my finger to its pulse. It was alivo. "Tho flutter of tho strainiug heart notod liko a strong stimulant upon mo. I lifted tho limp form in my arms and felt my way onward to the station. It was n long walk and a hard one, not uufraught with danger, for thoro was a bridge to bo crossed, but I reached tho cud nt last and passod into the light of tho waiting room, aud aud and, Perk, it was sho. I had been carrying her iu my arms nil thut distance. "I believe they considorod mo in sane when I laid her upon tho opera tor's bed and looked into her faoe. For an iustuut my strength went from mo to the hiHt ounce aud I all but col lapsed; then it came buck iu a mighty wave, uud I suppose I did act liko a uinuiao. "She had au old-fashioned looket iu her hand, fastened about tier neck by a ribbon, aud Alio held it to her lips rigidly, as she Lad held it when sho was fainting in -the long, wet grass.' Perk, I cannot tell you how I felt. I " "Don't try, Hilly. Koop to your story." "A train arrived shortly with doo tors, aud ono of thoin pushed mo from her tide by force ho hud to use foroo aud Cii'.t tho ribbon and removed her bund from Lor mouth. Ho said some thing nbout respiration as hn did id, nnd looked nttho locket curiously. " 'Open it,' said he, unclasping bet fingers; 'it may identify her.' "lo'uMied it I opened it, Perk, nnd ami it contained my own pic tn re n ( ictnre sho had taken horsell without my knowledge. "1 put it into my pocket. N'o one noticed, for other victims were brought in then, nnd tho place was in a tur moil. Then I went out into the rain, nnd wnlkod nnd walked, kissing thn bauble over and over ngaiu. It was daylight when I saw her again, nnc sho wns being assisted to tho trait that was to tako her home. Khe seeinei' liltlo the worso for tho shock sho had suffered. Her face was very white that was all." "Didu't you spenk to her?" "Yes, I fpoko to her; but Jones wni with her, his arm about her waist, ami her father was close behind her, laden with wraps, and I only said 'Ho w do-do, Miss Smith?' aud swallowed my heart. "Tho Ouzolte nearly got scooped ot tho story of tho wreck. They do pended on mo to fix it up, and foi soino reason or other I forgot it. 1 resigned my position tho next day, and enmo down hero to do humor. 1 did not daro to nttetupt anything else, for fear of going into a decline. I have been fairly well contented, but once in n while, Perk, I get down ill the mouth. I found this in ono of the papers from up there this morning." lie drew a clipping from his pocket nnd tossed it upon the desk. Perkins read it: "Uin-tii 'Horn, n boy to Mr. uud Mrs. John .Tones," eh? Well, what ol it, Hilly? Didn't you think it po.;i ble?" "Yes, but, Perk" and there was a nolo of genuine sorrow in Widger's voice "she she will forget mo en tirely now.." Perkins laid his hand lightly upon Widger's shoulder for au instant. "Oo to work, Hilly," said he, softly, "(t is better so." "Yes," assented Widger, "il is bet ter so." Ho breathed deeply nnd turned ngain to his jokes and jingles. Phila delphia Press. THE SEEDLESS OKANGE Ovnr n Cirycr. Tho author of "A Hamblo Round the Globe" tells of some surprising experiences eucotiutored iu tho region of geysers and hot springs iu Now Zealand. One day ho patronized thf photographer in Whakarowarewa. Heing inteiested in photography, he went into the dark room to seo ,the negative developed, and there, experi enced a new sensation. Just as the photographer was begin ning operations, tho wooden floor, which was nbout a foot from the ground, scorned to get iiusteudy, nnd there was nn ominous bump, bump, bump, directly underneath, that was tho reverso of reassuring. The pho tographer explained matters. "That's only n small geyser begin ning to work," said he. "I have three below hero that work at regular inter vals the ono just starting, another ono there" pointing to a corner "aud tho other one just underneath where you nre standing. " Geysers! Starting! I could set thorn better outside, so outside I went, I don't finite remembor now whet hel I opened the door, or whether it opened of its own accord, or whether it fell down; but I know that iu my anxiety to seo tho marvelous sight, I didn't tako long in getting out of thut dark room. Tho photographer went on with his work coolly, and let tho baby geyser bubble uud gurgle u::der his tloor in its own sweet way, while I, wutehiup: it from a position of advantage, ex pected every minuto to seo tho "dark apartment" lifted high into tho air on tho summit of n boiling column. Hut no; the buildiug stood firm, the photographer doveloyed the plate, aut' tho infantile geyser gurgled uud fizzed ilsulf out. 1I Itli-iilC l.iivr-Makliic. "Professional uurses have no bnsi noss being so confoundedly gvod looking," said a young man who has recently spent sevel weeks iu a local infirmary. "The nurse who was del egated to attend to mo while I was laid up was a distraclingly handsome girl, with a pure Oreek prolilo, red dish brown hair tho kind that seems full of little golden tendrils iu the sunlight and eyes ns liquid ns o fawn's, The first time she put hei finger on my wrist my pulHO ran up to at least 175, aud sho took it foi granted I had a high lover aud dosed mo -accordingly, I tried repeatedly to lure her into conversation, but she wouldn't bo lined. She was strictly business. When I started to pay her compliments sho would ask mo to put out my tongue, which was au insur mountable obstacle to conversation. I used to lie there with my tonguo hanging out trying to put my whole soul into my eyes, but it was no go. No man can look romantio with half a foot of furry red tonguo protruding from his countenance. Another way sho had of gaging mo wns bj putting the thermoneter in my mouth. The lust week I was there I proposed to her five times, or, rather, 1 tried to, but she invariably choked nil' my dec larations by thrusting u thermometer into my month. I got so excited one time that I cumo near swallowing a thermometer worth several dollars, She was a most excellent young wom an and had lots of sound common sense, us wn9 evideueod by the fact that sho gave mo uo encouragement whatover." New Orleans Times-Democrat. More Tlnill lis foulil Stiinil. "What's this?" doniaudod tho polioo, hurrying to the soouo. "A hold-up?" A pale, scholarly looking man in spnotaoles was standing over a burly rufliau and shaking his slender fist ut the prostrate form, "Presume that is what you would term it," ho replied. "This follow stoppod me just uow aud ordered mo to hold up my hands. I ooinpliod, aud he bognn to search my pockets. 'I will put a bullet through you. ' ho said, 'if you take them down all during the time I am ' and then I knocked him down. 'All during' is au abominable perversion of correct English that uo man can utter in my presence uuie buked." The unlucky footpad had taokled a professor of rhetoric. Chicago Tribune. A FORTUNATE SERIES OF ACCIDENTS CAVE IT TO CALIFORNIA. An I fid itt ry llrvoliillonlccl Willi in Ttrrnly-flvfl iMirn liy Should Hi-ourM I roni llrn.ll C'ltlr Unlit mid ,11111 Inn of IVeiilllt C.'rcmtiMl. Twenty-flvo years ago there wero no scodless or navel oranges grown. A few oranges wero raised in Florida, but tho bulk of tho supply in America enmo from tho Mediterranean ports nnd tho fruit was expensive. The to tal annual yield of California oranges was less than five carloads. Now the annual orange yield iu California is upward of lo,()Ol) carloads, and next year it may exceed 20, ODD carloads, writes a corespondent of tho New York Sun from Pomona. Thn total amount invested in orange properties iu Cali fornia twenty-livo yours ngo wns llmut 6L!:, 000. Now something liko B 1-1, 000,000 is invested iu the orange industry in this State, and tiio amount is increasing by about SJ, 000, 000 svery year. Tho introduction of tho seedless navel oraugo has caused those changes. It has revolutionized thn orange industry of tho I'nited States. It has drawn :!,0DD men out if other pursuits. It has transformed vast areas of sunbaked land in Cali 'oruia into tho most beautiful oraugo proves that ever grew. It bus been iho prime factor in tho growth from .lothing of a dozen towns of fjOUO, iOOil aud 10,00;) people in southern California, nnd it tins ndded direcily ann o than $ t i, 000,000 nnd indirectly liiO.OOO.OODinorelothe taxable wealth if this State. Tho first seedless orange trees wero ipparently freaks of nature. Their ounterparts have never been found. In the summer of 1 ST- William P. ludrtou, I'nited Slates Consul nt liihia, Hrn.il, heard an account from natives of a few trees iu the swamps 511 tho north bank of tho Amazon ionic sixty miles inland that bore oranges without seeds. Ho was of tcieutillo bent and a Consul that knew his business. Ho had heard of tho starting of orango groves in Florida ami ho believed that seedless orango trees wero well worth experimenting with there. So ho sent a native up tho river to' cut some shoots of tho trees and get some of tho fruit. Whoti the native returned the Cousul was delighted with tho specimens. Forth with ho sent six of tho orange tree shoots, carefully packed iu wet moss and clay, to the Agricultural - Depart ment at Washington for propagation. Tho trees did not excite ns much at tention in tho Department as the enthusiastic Cousul had expected. Two of tho shoots, which wero no bigger than horsewhips, died from lack of care in the Department grounds, nnd tho others wero nlmost forgotten in a few months. fu the winter of 187;) Mrs. Horatio Tibbetts, a nntivo of Maine, was visiting tho family of her cousin, General Hun juiuiu F. Hutler, then n OoU'-irossman from Massachusetts. Her husband bad recently removed from Hoston to Los Angeles, Cal., and was about to pre-empt .n tract of Government land in tho San Hcruardiuo A'allcy. Tho Hchome was an uncertain one, but anyhow ho intended to grow semi tropical fruits there. Ho usked Mrs. Tibbetts to get from General Hutler an introduction nt tho Agricultural Department. Sho wns then to ask for specimens of fruits and shrubs suit ablo for experimental propagation in southern California. Among other thiugs Mrs. Tibbetts got from tho De partment grounds the four surviving orange tree shoots from Hrazil. Tho trees reached Mr. Tibbetts safely at lUvcrsidc, Cal., a week later and wero immediately planted. That was iu December, 1873. Ono of tho shoots died from neglect aud another was brokon aud chowed up by a cow. Five years passed and the two sur viving trees cumo into beuring. In the winter of 1H78-7D they bore six teen oraugos, tho first seedless oranges ever grown iu North America. Tho specimens wero carried about south ern California and shown to all ranch men and fruit growers. There wero many who doubled whether the trees would mutually bear such royal speci mens of orange culture. Nearly every ono believed that the fruit would be come course and tough iu a few years more. So tho seooiul crop was awaited with curiosity among tho noighbors. There wero about a box of oranges in the second yield, aud they were even better than tho.se of tho ili-bt prop. Tho fame of tho Tibbetts seedless orange! went far ami wide iu south ern California. Peoplowho were grow ing tho old-fashioned oranges travelod hundreds of miles in wagons to see the trees. Still there wero less than half a dozeu people who believed that such a freak as a seedless fruit could ever bo propagated iuto an estab lished industry. "I remember tho time I saw somo of tho second crop of Tibbotts's seed less naval oranges," baid ex-Senator J. F,. MeComas. "Several of us seed liug orango growers wont over to Hiversido purposely to soe what truth thero was iu the statement that Horatio Tibbetts had treos that grew orungos without seeds. AVo looked the two trees over and over, sumplod tho fruit and wondered how it could bo. Larger, juicier and moro pungent fruit we had never known. Hut it all seemed so freaky that no one dared risk several thousand dollars and six or seven years iu trying to grow naval oranges for market. Moreover, uouo of us knew how to go about linviug a grove of seedless oranges because thero was no seed to start it." Mr, Tibbetts was sure that there was a fortune iu his new variety of oranges. For two years he experi mented with propagating trees from shoots and cuttings from his two seed, less orange trees. Hut all his at tempts wero failures. Finally he hit upon the scheme of budding from the seedless naval trees upon seedling trees. Experiments along thut line were successful. It was found that a bud takeu from one of Tibbotts's two naval oraugo trees aud grafted iuto tho hark of a seedling troo would grow to be a limb, which boro seod lesN naval oranges. Then Mr. Tib bttts grew tiny seedling orange trees, just as hud beou done by orange growers for ages, and budded into tho trunk of each little tree several uaval oruuge buds. When the buds had become branches of tho trees, he cut away nil tho original or seedling brnnohes, leaving only tho nnvnl orango branches to bear fruit. In this wny ho easily created naval ornngo trees, and the problem of growing seedless oranges was solvod. Tho planting of grove of seedless ornngo trees propagated from buds from tho two original trees on the Tibbets place began in earnest throughout southern California in the winter of 18SJ. In the following year the demand for buds from tho Tibbetts trees wa so largo that a dozen buds sold frequently for $.", and some growers, desirous of getting navel orango buds of genuine quality, paid SI each for buds. InlSHltho two Tibbetts trees furnishod buds that sold for 81500, and a tall fenco Was built about them to keep people from stealing buds. A year or two later tho orango trees that had been propagated from tho Tibbetts treoi bo gnu to , bear, and they themselves furnishod tens of thousands of navel buds as good as thoso from the orig inal trees. Then the first navel or ango groves began to bear fruit, and from that time tho boom in navel orango groves has coutinuod. No one plants seedling orango trees nowa days, and tens of thousands of soed ling trees havo been budded into na vel orango trees. The two trees from which have come, directly nnd indirectly, nil the navel oranges iu tho world, aro still on tho old Tibbetts ranch in Hiver side. Since Mr. Tibbetts received tho shoots from tho Agricultural De partment aud began propagating seed less oranges, Kiversido has grown from n hamlet of less than thirty American residents to n benuliful, prosperous city of 1 1,000 population, with nn assessed valuation of $V-7."i,- 000. It is the greatest oraug-pro-ducing locality iu tho world. Soino 10,000 acres of land is devoted to orango growing. Tho average annual shipments of oranges from Hiversido aro l.OOD.OOO boxes, valued at g-J.lOO,. 000. All this has come from tho in troduction of Tibbotts's seedless na vel oraugos, and just now tho Hiver sido Press and tho loading citizens aro urging that tho two troos should bo removed to tho public pnrk and thero surrounded by un iron fence, so that tho interesting history of tho seedless uav-.d orango may be the bet ter presorved iu another generation. EUROPE IN THE PACIFIC. I-IiikIimiiI 1'lml, llnlliiitil Sri-iiinl In I-:imt 1 nil Inn rotmpAMlnim. Arthur I. Street writes ns follows in Ainslee's Magazine: "The Pacific Ocean, westward of Huwuii, and tho Marquesas.is liko a federation of Eu ropean nations on Asiatic soil, united by free comnierco of tho seas. Tho nations vary in size, strength aud im portance, us the States of F.uropo or of tho American Union. Great Hritain commands the fields with a landed area of nearly three million and a quarter square miles, poor Spain's onco magnificent empire is shrunk to Ichs than fifty squaro miles, n sninllei total than bolongs to black King Gcorgo of tho Tongas. Holland, tho country from which emanated tho doughty Honrs, owns over 7:),"), 0011 squaro miles, settled with nearly eight times us many people ns inhabit the larger urea owned by Great Hritain. Germany, tho now civilizer among na tions, has dominance over more than 100,000 squaro miles uud nbout nr' ninny peoplo as there aro miles. Frauoo, with less than ono-tenth ol Germany's lund, is at some of the most important points of strategy and at the point of greatest travel. Soverul independent Stutes lio iu tho midst ol this federation, as Switzerland does in Europe; several othoj-s in tho un happy, suzoruiuted position of the Transvaal, iu South Africa. "If all tho islands could bo put into a continuous body of laud, they would form a most heterogeneous empire. They would include, iu addition to European peoples with their various political and social systems, a tangle of aborigiuos, u confusion of savnges and soiui-civilized cultivators of soil and commonwealth, nu emporium ol products moro diversified than n ba zaar on a midway pluisunco, a mystery of Aniericnn Indians. Profoundly for estod ia tho Dutch East Indies, the islands become in Western Australia moro barren than tho lava beds ol Eastern Oregon, nud more irredeem able than the uppermost wilds ol Hritish Columbia. Fertile, balmy mid luxurious iu tho beautiful lands ol New Zealand, Fiji, Samoa nud Tahiti, they are transformed iuto uuinhabit able coral roofs or into hot and malar ial bods of struggle in tho guano cov ered or copra-producing dots on the map north and east of a lino drawn from tho Philippines to Now Guinea, and through Samoa to the Society Isl uuda. " WuilitniEtim nml Croniwi.il. After the American Revolution, Washington's great character, sound coiuiuou-seuse, aud entirely disiu terested patriotism, made him u bill wark both against anarchy and against despotism coming in the name of a safeguard against unarchy; and the people wero fit for self-government, adding to their fierce jealousy ol tyranny n reluctant and by no means whole-hoartod, but genuine, admis sion that it could bo averted only by ooiuiug to an agreement among them selves. In consequence, Washington would not let his cllicors try to make him Dictator, nor allow tho Conti uontul Army to inarch against the weak Congress which distrusted it, was ungrateful to it, nnd refused tu provide for it. Unlike Cromwell, he saw that the safety of the people lay iu working ont thoir own salvation, even though they showed muoh wrong houdodness and blindness, not merely to morality, but to thoir own interests; aud, iu the long run, the peoplo justi fied this trust. Theodore ltoosov-' in'Seribner's. TmiU nml I'l'u ici-eaii. Despite all tho attacks upon ma chinery, an age without tools is nn age of drudgery aud degradation. II once men foiled sixteen hours a day, with a single stroke Watt's engiuecut otl'JJtwo hours in the morning for rest and two hours at night for read ing. Tho modern home, with a thou sand und one comforts, is tho gift ol tools. We now compel stool fingers, steel kuivos, steel wheels aud steel wires to do our work. Take away our tools, aud civilization would go buck ouo hundred yours. Newell Dwight llillitt, iu the Roman's Homo Com paniou. POPULAR SCICNOE, Clouds that mora in a contrary di rection to Hint of tho surface current indicate a change of weather, because they prove the existence of two air currents, ono warm and tho other cold, and the mingling of these frequently causes ruin. The injury to soil from Hooding by a high tido is variously estimated to last for flvo to tweuty years. A Into) investigation iu Essex, England, showed that tho soil was left with two per cent, salt mostly to tho complete destruction of earthworms. An epidemic of typhoid fever lins recently beou traced to tho use of celery grown on somo sowago fertil ized ground. As it occurrod iu au in stitutiou it wns very easy to trace tho cause. Owing to tho peculiar nature of tho stems it is very easy for thorn to become saturated with fertilizing material. The ordinary hydrometer is a ver tical float, with a scale to nwasuro tho depth to which it sinks and tho corre sponding density of tho liquid. A new instrument measures the density by tho inclination of a float, und as tho readings aro not nlleeted by capil larity, it is much more accurate than tho common form, and is capable of Wonderful sensitiveness, John Murray recently summed up the latest discoveries concerning the ocean. The deep sea, ho says, in a region of darkucsH, as well ns of low temperature, because tho rays of tho sun are wholly absorbed by the super ficial layers of water. Plant life is absent, but nnimal lifu is abundant in thoso uight-huuutod depths. Tho majority of the deep-sea nuimals live by eating mud and by catching tho minute particles of organic matter which descend from iibovc. Many of tho mud-eating animals uro of gigantic size conipuivd with thoir iillis iu shullowcr waters, but they aro tho prey of rapacious enemies armod with peculiar prehensile organs. Some doep-sea fishes nre blind whilo others have very largo eyes. Phosphorescent light plays nu important role in tho great deeps. Sometimes tho ani mala uro furnishod with phosphorescent Di-gaus which recall the use of bull's " eye lanterns. The Australian insect fauna is esti mated at 10,000 spoeios, but it is be lieved that tho actual number is con siderably greater. Of theso the great est variety is to bo found in New South Wales, tho scientific collections formed in Sydney nud elsewhere being of singular attractiveness nnd in terest. In tho vicinity ot streams may bo found largo nnd beautiful dragon tlios, often of cousiderablo size; whilo every where during tho warmer months of the year tho ceaseless hum of tho cigalo reminds the traveler of n similar insect experience in Italy. Nativo honey bees nre plentiful in many places and aro easily recognizablo by their finall size, being little lurgor than tho common house fly. Mos quitoes aro practically unknown iu tho dry interior, but their placo i; tiikon by the sand lly, nu equally mis chievous insect. Thoro are spiders of all sizes, a few being poisonous, but their webs are generally of a most fanciful character. Tho splendid up poarauco of some of tho bntterllios rivals that of tho most gorgeous in sects found in South American forests. Limiting Allnr Un Nnlilltirn. A young army officer, who has soen service on the Arizoua plains aud on the Maiuo coust, nnd who is now iu Cuba, tells two stories out of his own experience, to show the accuracy with which tho Wur Depurtinont follows tho movements of officers. "I was with a small scouting party iu Arizona," ho says, "und niter two weeks in tho desert my squad came to tho railroad near a small station. Within ten minutes a dispatch from Washington was brought, to mo by the station agent. It asked if I wished to be transferred to one of the two uew artillery regiments then forming. "I answered by telegraph thut I should bo glad to outer cither of them. Then we set olV again across the desert. "It was six dnys later when wo again struck ttio railroad, this time eighty milos from tho point at which wo had previously crossed it. Hut my reply from the department was awaiting mo. It had been telegraphed to every station within two huudred miles. "A more striking instaneo of accur acy occurred alter my transfer to the East. I was traveling homo on leave, and us tho regulations require, I hud notified tho department of tho day, hour und probable route of my jour ney. After 1 had been on the train for eight hours, at a small station tho porter entered with a telegram, ask ing if uny one of my nanio was pres ent. On opening the dispatch, 1 found that it wan from tho ndjutant-genei-al's olliee, ordering mo on do tuched duty, "Exactness of detail could not bo carried much farther. The depart ment knew tho whereabouts of an in significant second lieutenant, eveu when ho is tra-eliug ou leave of ab sence." Kllipplnu nl mi Inaecl'A Wlliu;. Tho slow Hupping of a butterfly's wings, according to Sir John Lub bock, produces uo sound, but when the movements are rapid a noise is produced, which increases iu shrill ness with the number of vibrations. Thus the house fly, wtiich produces tho sound F, vibrates it wings 21,1211 times a minute, aud tho bee, which makes a sound of A, as many as 20, 400 times. Professor Narey, the nat uralist, has suoooedod by a delicate mechanism iu confirming these num bers graphically. Ho fixed a lly so that tho til) of the wing just touched a cylinder which was moved by clock work. Cut Hotll Way. Iu an interval in the drilling ono of the volunteers belonging to a crack regiment stepped out from tho ranks to light a cigar from that of hisoltloer, The latter took this evideuoe of the democratic spirit of freedom in good part, but said by way of a hint: "In the regular army you couldn't hare done this to an olllcor, lirovvu." "llight you are," responded the private, "but iu the regular army you could not be au officer," LAMP CULD3 HIS WEAPON. Ilurclnr I'nt tn Flight liy lining Ilom luirilfiil liy Tlifin. "Of nil thn outlandish weapons ever rniplonl In a flsht," t,ahl n New Or leans business unit;, "I think I brought tho most fantastic on record Into piny ono nlnht lust week. My family are nway on a visit nt present nnd I am keeping bachelor hall out nt the house. On the night to which I refer I was nrousrd nt about 3 a. m. by a nolso somewhere in tho rr glon of tho dining room nnd, thinking I had shut up tho dog Opto, I Jumped up very foolishly ami eamc down stairs In my night clothes, without so much ns a pocket knife. When I opened the dining room door I wns startled to seo a big, rough-looking man bending over tho sideboard at the far end of the room, nnd nfter wo had stood thero on tableau for a moment the follow nin'i'i n rush at me. I leaped back Into tho hall nnd glared around for a weapon. On n table near by wero a dozen In candescent liqht bulbs, which I had brought home to replace some that hnd burned out, nn.l purely by Instinct I grubbed one of lliem nnd threw it lit tho burglar. It hit tho door cas ing close to his bead nnd, to my amazement, exploded with a nolso liko .1 young lyddite shell. I suppose It was a still greater surprise to tho other fellow, for be let out n yell nml broke for the rear, followed by a rapid-fire lionihardiiient of Hi-candlc pow er iiici'.nil 'si-i-nls, which I continued to chuck at him ns long ns he remained in range. They smashed against tho furniture with a series of crashes that alarmed the whole neighborhood and 1 have been gathering up fragments of broken glass ever sir-re. The burglar liuiHt have thought I was chasing him Willi h.mtl grenade!'. It was the first time I ever knew Incandciu-ents niuuo such a row when they broke. An elec trician ti lls me It is canned by tho air rushing into the vacuum." THE WORD "GUN." Ilnw lit Mcnnliilt lla ('hiint-fMl irllh Minli-rn Oi-ilinint"-. Evolution of tho word "gun" forms nn Interesting little story In an up-to-date etymology. A dozen or so years ngo we all understood gun to nn-c.n a fowling piece shotgun as dl.it in Riilsl.ed from n rldo or musket, llnvy end light ordnance In fact, all piecM of nrtlllery, without regard to size were known as cannon. That, of course, was In the confines of civiliza tion, where peoplo made nn effort to speak English. Out in the frontier the word gun was applied utmost ex clusively to pistols, und when a citizen of Tombstone or Ueadwood invited another citizen to "pull his gun" he was understood to refer to the -ll-call-brc instrument worn as a chatelaine belt ornament by everybody in gno 1 society In tlione loi-iilltie.i. Nowadavt the nonienrl itnre has curiously i hanged. Hy degree.! the good old term gun bus lieiome monopolized by. the iong, .slim, murderous machine that constitutes our modern nrtlllery. Wo Bpeak of rpilck-flre guns, wire-wound f.uns, automatic gums, eight-inch. ten Inch. twelve-Inch guns, nnd the word seems idiignlarly apropos. They are not cannon. "Cannon" Immediately sug gests the big, lumbering, hhifk-lliro.it-ed smooth bores of the pu'.t. The word conjures up nil sorts of nmrtinl pic tures motionless men holding lightel matches, frigates lushed together and firing into each other's ports, l-'i-poyi bound to the muzzle, ne.it geom:'!r;.; pyramids of round shot, the jv,it bri gade nnd lots of other things too nu merous to mention. New York Te!u trunli. MARKETS rAimioaK. IT-Ofllpnlto. Hist Pat. CT 1 .VI High Ciriidn r.xtrn 4 en WIIKATNo. 2UV.I T2 7) ()i;.N Nn, 2 White !" i'i Outs Hniithi.ru .V 1'eim... 2i'j' liYK No. 2 f"i !' HAY (.'hcilon Timothy.. Hi 00 1 ' ienil tn Prime '.. 1 1 -" l.ru H'llAW live Incur Ids.. 1 1 " M ,Vi Wiicut Plucks fao HI "' Outlilueks t Till lu .W C'ANNl'.n llOOII-v TOMATOKH Htud.No. 3. ft 7D Nn. 'J .V, l'KAS .spin.liinli 1 HI 3 40 Hei-nintu H't COISN- Dry Puck M Held 7C IIIIII'.-C CITY STF.EItS 1 lO'.f r II t'ity rows i".; :n lOTATOKS AND V,!IIKTArr..- POTATOES 11-irlmiili. . Ui 51 ONlO.SK 4 1 1.1 r,"4' j il tn 4 4 21 1.1 ;:P, hp; i:p, V-i 7,',' 12 q W-i Mtnvisni-f- lion pitonrcTs siiu t 'ltn r lihstii -.s IIUUIM Mess Pork, per liar l.A HI) ( in,!.. Het I lined UrTTKU. Ilf'ITf.lt I'hio Crrny.... 21 I'lnler Fine SI Creamery Hulls CIIEKRK N. Y. Fiiuoy...! N. V. Kbits bklln Chuiwu KOfi E008 Btnlo ) North Carolina uvi rouLTac. CHICKKNS t Ducks, per lb TnnAonn. T0J1ACC0 Mil. Iuter'i.. 1 GO S 5) round coumiou ti '0 i .10 Middling (101 ',0 1-iiucy ... 10JJ JiJ live sroac r n- F I)et Beeves I 71 i 61.1 bllliia' :M 5 54 Hot; Oft) 5 5 J rCU3 AND HKIN-L MUBKRAT 10 19 11 Ituccoou 40 4.1 lied Fox ji.K) bUui.k llhu-k. Hi ()iihuiu 2J 21 Mink M Uttur 100 11 HEW TOIK FLOUn Boutheru 8S5 40 WHEAT No. V Uod 7 11 ho lti'fc Wosteru (H (IS COltN No. !i M il OATS No. 8 i UJ Hl'TTKlt Utnta 17 l'l KOtm Hiuln 1KI JS Clllii-WK btute IU.4 1J r011.AHKi.pu14. FLOCK Boothern . . . W1H- AT Na Hllud.. COltN No. 8 OA'IH Na il Hl'TTtll Htiitn 10 US 1'UUUA tt.... 8S5 li as SI to li 4 20 7.1 l li Yi 13
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers