i—l ] A Catspaw [ It was generally understood In Bungtown that Squire Coram'a daugh ter, Betty, was tabooed. Not only "hands off" was her father's order to the young men who coveted her, but tongues off, and even eyes off. She was not to be touched, or talked to, or even looked at, and woe to the daring youth who ventured to trans gress the squire's command. No wonder the young men of Bung town coveted Betty Coram. Not only ■was she very pretty, but she was le puted to be amiable and Intelligent, and was an heiress. Among those who went wild after Betty Coram was Excelsior Podd, the only son of Philetus Podd, editor of the Bungtown Banner. Excelsior had been so called because the elder Podd felt a prophetic impulse that his son would rise higher in the world than any one else. "Why not?" said Philetus Podd. If the boy should Inherit his father s in tellectual powers, and those powers should be developed under the sagaci ous instructions of that father, there would be no limit to his capacity for rising in the world. It was well, there fore, that he was named Excelsior. As yet, however, Excelsior Podd had shown no remarkable appreciation of the exalted destiny that awaited him. He had just advanced beyond the posi tion of "devil" in his father's printing office, and had been promoted to the dignity of a "case." He was chiefly noted for being an overgrown, gawky youth of nineteen, who had "no more sense than the law allows," and was often the butt of the village wits. But Excelsior had no knowledge of his deficiencies, his opinion of him self being reflected from that of his father, who looked upon his offspring with admiring eyes. As his bump of self-esteem was well-developed, he did not consider that he was at all pre sumptuous in aspiring to the hand of sweet Betty Coram, or in believing that he might succeed where so many had failed. His disadvantages, of course, were the same as those which the other young men labored under, but he showed considerable ingenuity in over coming the principal obstacle. He in vented all sorts of pretexts for gaining admission to Squire Coram's house and for obtaining interviews with the lovely Betty. In these efforts he waß often successful, the more so, perhaps, because the squire did not believe that his daughter could be in the least endangered by the presence of Excel sior Podd. Excelsior thought otherwise. He believed himself to be a lady-killer, and was sure that Betty Coram had fallen before his invincible onset. The truth is that Betty was kept so seclud ed that the visits of even Excelsior Podd were a relief to her, and she did not try to conceal her pleasure at the sight of a young man. This particular young man was sure that he had made a conquest, and his assurance was rendered doubly sure when George Deering, the son of the postmaster, brought him a note, di rected in a delicate feminine hand. "You are in luck, Excel," said Deer ing. "Here is a note for you from Betty Coram." "Creation, George! how did you get hold of it?" "Easy enough. She came to the of fice this morning with the squire, and managed to slip this into my hand. I supposed it was for myself, and was right mad when I saw that it was for you. I don't know how it is, old fel low, that you have got so far ahead of all the rest of us, and I can't help envying your good fortune." Excelsior eagerly grasped the note and went off to read It by himself. It was in these words: "My Dear Friend, Excelsior Podd: I have noticed your looks, and believe that you love me. If you do, now is the time to prove it. I can no longer endure my father's tyranny, and am anxious to leave home. If you are ■willing to take me out of here, I will trust you to do so. Come to-night, at II o'clock. The dog is chained, and there is no one to fear but father, and I am sure that you are smart enough to keep out of his way. Do not fall me, and I am— Yours ever, BETTY." Excelsior was in ecstasies, he hard ly knew whether he stood upon his head or his feet. Here Was the beau ty of the village, the heiress of Bung town, actually proposing an elope ment, and with him! Of course he would seize the opportunity. There could be no question of that. He would Jump at the chance. During the rest of the dsty he was In such a state of excitement and dis traction that he was unable to attend to his duties at the printing office. At night he arrayed himself in his best, stole out of the house, and directed his steps toward Squire Coram's mansion. Although Betty had not given him any directions, he knew wtiat to do. He knew where her room was, and where he must get over the fence, in order to take the nearest route to her window, and that was the point he de sired to reach. Then he began his progress toward the house, moving slowly and cauti ously, peering through the darkness in every direction at every step, to guard against discovery, or to make his escape in time. When he was half way across the lawn, he was startled by the deep voiced barking of Squire Coram's bull dog. Excelsior felt a sudden sinking at the heart, as bark after bark Issued from the throat of that formidable ani mal; but he recovered his courage when he remembered Betty's assur ance that old Towser was chained. The only fear was that the dog would alarm the house, and that fear was soon realized. The voice of Squire Coram was heard, speaking to the dog, and it was apparent that he was about to issue from the house with the intention of searching the grounds. Excelsior was equal to this emer gency. He ran to the garden fence, Jumped over it, and hid in the currant bushes. But he was oppressed by a terrible fear. "Suppose the squire turns the dog loose!" But the squire did nothing of the kind. He looked about the lawn a lit tle, muttering that old Towser had been barking at some cat or stray dog, addressed some words of reproof to the animal, and returned to the house. "Faint heart never won fair lady," thought Excelsior, as he prepared to Jump over the garden fence and re new his attempt. The night was very dark, and he did not try to find the precise spot at which he had previously climbed + he fence. The result was, that when he leaped over he found himself standing in something soft and sticky, that slushed up about his legs very unpleas antly. He felt it, and discovered, to his In finite disgust, that he was standing in a pot of soft soap, which had been made during the day and left out to cool. This was very mortifying, and it left his clothes in an unpleasant pre dicament, although he rubbed off as much of the greasy mixture as he could. "Never mind," he thought; "If she loves me, as I am sure she does, she won't care about the soap." Again he worked his way toward the house. To his great delight, the dog was now quiet, his master's re proof having had the effect of re straining him from barking. There was a light burning in Betty's window, and toward It, as the guiding star of his hope, Kxcelsior directed his steps. But, just as he came be neath the window, it was extin guished. While he wondered at this, a side door opened, and Betty herself ap peared before him. She was attired In a traveling dress, and carried a shawl and a reticule. She was evidently pre pared to elope, and the young man's happiness was complete. "My brave Excelsior!" she ex claimed. "My noble Podd! How shall I ever thank you for this? But what is the matter with your shoes? They sound so queer." "The fact Is," stammered the young man, "that 1 got into a pot of soft soap out here." "Have you endured that for meT What a splendid fellow you are! lam ready. Let us hurry. But let me first speak to the dog. I was so afraid that father would find you, or that he would turn Towser's loose." Betty stepped lightly to the bull dog's kennel, petted him on the head, and spoke kindly to him, and then re turned to the young man. "Can you get me over the tall fence?" she asked. "Yes; I put a step-ladder there." "Let us make haste, then." They reached the fence speedily, and without difficulty. Excelsior went over first; then Betty climbed the step-ladder, and Jumped off, and he received her in his arms. Blessed privilege! Glorious possession! The beauty and the heiress of Bungtown was now all his own, his own forever! He even forgot the soap in his shoes. He was beginning what he intended to be a very pretty speech, expressive of his love and devotion, when Betty interrupted him. "There Is no time to speak of that now," she said. "I am safe, and will be far from here when father awakes; but there is no time to lose!" "Where shall we goto, Betty?" "1 will show you. It's all arranged. Come with me." She led him through the grove to the road, where a horse and buggy were standing. At the horse's head was a man, whom Excelsior presently recognized, to his great surprise, as George Deering. Why, George, what on earth are you doing here?" he asked. "I knew what was going on," re plied Deering? "and brought a buggy to help the young lady off. I always stand by my friends, especially when they stand by me. Have the kindness to assist Miss Betty into that vehicle, my dear Podd; and soon everything will be lovely." Excelsior did as he was requested to do, and was about to follow the young lady into the buggy, when Deer ing halted him. "Wait a moment, my dear fellow," said the latter. "We must consult the safety of Miss Betty. No one but my self can manage this horse, and I must get in first." Excelsior stood uside while the oth er got in and seated himself by the side of Betty. Deering then whipped up the horse, went ahead a short dis tance, stopped, and looked back. "Farewell, my dear Excelsior," he said. "You are the best Podd that ever grew on a beanstalk. Whenever any of my friends want their chest nuts pulled out of the lire, I will be sure to recommend you." In a few moments the buggy was out of sight. "I swow to gracious!" exclaimed Excelsior; "I've a great mind togo and tell the squire." But he didn't. He went home, cleaned the soap off bis clothes, and held his tongue.- -EDWARD WILr LETT. ! JAW BONE NOT IN COFFEE —«— Doctor Used Mails In Attempt to De fraud Company. Whether parts of a human ,law wero found in a package of coffee was a, question adjudicated in the federal court at Springfield, Mo. The court decided the bones were, not in the coffee and fined Dr. T. M Callan, of Kirbyville, Mo., $23 and costs for fraudulent use of the mails, t The complainant was an eastern coffee company. Callan wrote to the company, saying ho had found a piece of human jaw bone and several teeth in a package of its coffee. He asked $5 to keep quiet, threatening to prosecute under' the pure food and drug act. The company demanded proof. Cal lan refused it The company then ap plied to the postoffice department. Young Women Form Anti-Rat Society. The city of Allentown, Pa., is all agog with curiosity over the doings at a meeting of society girls who at tended a reception at the home ol Miss Florence Glose upon her invita tion for a gathering of "Ye Old Hens." The young women formed them selves into an anti-rat society, having come to the conclusion that the pres ent mode of hairdressing is an abomi nation. There was an essay on the "Art of Kissing," presented by Miss Hattie Bittner, which formed the subject ol' a discussion in which it is said all present took part. The others present were Helen Schmidt, Emma Shankweiler, Elsie Herbein, Emma I.entz, Sal e liarley, Mamie Harley, Helen Bogli and Miriam Glose. New Ambassador to Russia. President Taft will send to the sen ate the nominations of former Cover nor Curtis Guild, Jr., of Massachu setts, as ambassador to Russia, and W. W. Rockhill as ambassador to Till 1 key. Mr. Rockhill is at present amban sador to Russia. Governor Guild Is an intimate per sonal friend of President Taft. He was appointed by the president as spe cial ambassador to Mexico at the time ■ of the centennial celebration of the foundation of that republic. Mr. Rockhill will succeed Oscar S. Straus, who was secretary of the de partment of commerce and labor un der former President Roosevelt. Mr. Straus resigned tlie ambassadorship to Turkey several months ago. To Tax Bachelor Girls. A bill to tax $5 annually every un married woman over twenty-five years old and to create a "matrimonial com mission," consisting of the governor, superitendent of public property and chief clerk of the assembly, was in troduced in the Wisconsin assemb'y by Assemblyman Hansen, of Mani towoc, of "trouserette" fame. The matrimonial "orrmiasion is charged with the duty of bringing to gether kindred souls when application is made for an affinity by any love lorn maiden. Fined $20,000 In Rebate Case. Judge Emory Speer in the United States circuit court in Savannah, Ga., imposed a fine of $20,000 on the Mer chants and Miners' Transportation company for giving preferences in freight rates. The corporation was convicted in Savannah last Friday. The Seaboard Air line and the Atlantic Coast line pleaded guilty to the rebate charge and escaped with a fine of S2OOO each. The Merchants and Miners' com pany, it is declared, will appeal to the United States supreme court. DEFICIT INSTEAD OF SURPLUS Government Receipts For April Show a Decided Falling Off. Government finances have slipped back over the line from surplus to de ficit. April, which began with a sur plus for the first time in the fiscal year, now shows a deficit of some sl,- 000,000. Expenditures for the month have been $2,000,000 greater than last year, and receipts are $1,000,000 less for the month. There seems to be also a general drop in receipts from all sources except the corporation tax. 1500 Tons of Chinese Money. Fifteen hundred tons of Chinese money is aboard the steamer Katura, wliich reached tell port of New York from the Far East. The money Is worn and mutilated and was sold as old copper by the Chinese government. Thackeray's Correction. A distinguished foreigner visiting Epsom downs in Thackeray's com pany noticed many men dressed as sailors who were not to native and ex perienced eyes the real article. "Ah," said the visitor, "these are, I suppose, what you call your British tars?" "No. no," replied Thackeray; "ouly Epsom salts." RIGHT LIVING. No man has any right to expect to live differently tomorrow from the way in which he i3 living today. What he chooses for today he chooses for tomorrow. What he overcomes today he is overcom ing for tomorrow. Yet most of us live as though we did not believe this, and we try hard to persuade ourselves that we are safe in so living. Fanatic Kills Lieutenant Rodney. Lieutenant Walter H. Rodney, ol the Second United States cavalry, stationed in the Augur barracks in the department of Mindanao, Philip pine Islands, was murdered by a Moro Juramentado. The native, crazed with religious passion, ran amuck thirsting for the blood of a Christian. The assassin belongs to the Mo hammedan sect of Juramentados, who have taken an oath to shed the blood of the hated Christian. They know no fear, believing that the performance of what they consider a religious duty, if resulting in their own death, will be rewarded with eternal bliss. The fanatic was armed with a bolo, and as he tore through the streets those who saw him fled in terror. He encountered Rodney, seemingly by chance, and struck him down before the officer could defend himself. Lieutenant Rodney was a native of California, and was thirty-two years of age. Hat Pin Cost Him an Eye. Henry Pepper, a gateman at the Union Station in Omaha, Neb., has lost an eye as a result of coming in contact with a hat pin and came near losing his life. He was punching tick ets at the gate when a fashionably dressed woman pushed her way through the crowd and as she passed the gateman the pin in her hat pie ;1 his eye and, dragging across his tem ple, tore an ugly gash. The eye was badly mutilated and the sight de stroyed. The police tried to tind the woman, but failed. Mother Strangles Daughter. During what is believed to have been a fit of temporary insanity, Mrs. Clara Russell strangled her twelve-year-old daughter Marjorie to death at their home in Dorchester, near Boston, Mass. Mrs. Russell, who is about forty-five years old, lived alone with her child, having been separated from her hus band for several years. Mrs. Russell was brought to the Dorchester municipal court on a mur der charge. Lloyd, Puzzle Maker, Dies. Sam Lloyd, the puzzle expert, whose problems have interested not alone the rising generation but others, died at his home in Brooklyn from a stroke of apoplexy. He was seventy years of age. For many years Mr. Lloyd had been famous throughout the country for his popular problems for the amusement of newspaper and magazine readers, in this unique calling he built up a fortune that has been estimated at more than a million dollars. "Wet" and "Dry" Bills Beaten. Tiie county local option bill was killed in the Illinois house by a vote of 83 to 63. Roll t all was reached after three hours of speeches. Following the defeat of the "dry" hill the house proceeded to a roll call on the "wet" bill. By a vote of 80 to 04 the "wet" bill repealing the present township lo cal option law was defeated. This ac tion leaves the present law on local option unchanged. Tawney's Brother a Suicide. While temporally insane, William A. Tawney, a brother of ex-Congress man James A. Tawney, of Minnesota, committed suicide at his farm near Pierce, Neb. Mr. Tawney went out to the barn, tied a rope to a rafter, climbed up on top of a partition, ad justed the noose around his neck and then leaped off. He was despondent. Would Disfranchise Negroes. Representative Hardwick, of Geor gia, introduced a bill providing for the disfranchisement of the colored man. He proposes the following amend ment to the constitution be submitted to tlie state legislatures for ratifica tion, namely: "That the fourteenth amendment to the constitution of the United States he and the same is hereby repealed." Girl Lost Freckles; Has Sore Face. In an effort to remove freckles from a notherwise beautiful face, Miss Helen Casey, of Bloomsburg, Pa., used a lotion advertised to remove freckles after a few applications. The freckles have partly disappeared, but she is suffering from a severe case of blood poisoning. GENERAL MARKETS PHILADELPHIA FLOUR weak; winter clear, $3.25®3.50; city mills, fancy, $5.25® 5.75. J RYE FLOUR steady, at $4.14@4.25 ! per barrel. I WHEAT quiet; No. 2 red, new, 91Vfe ; ®92'^c. ! CORN quiet; No. 2 yellow, 58® 68% c. OATS firm; No. 2 white, 38 Vk® 39c.; lower grades, POULTRY; Live steady; hens, 17 ®lßc.; old roosters, 12®12%c. Dress ed firm; choice fowls, 17c.; old roost ers, 12V»e. I BUTTER steady; extra creamery, 23c. per lb. EGGS firm; selected, 19®21c.; near by, 17V1'C.; western, 17 J /£c. POTATOES firm; 65® 70c. bushel. Live Stock Markets. PITTSBURG (Union Stock CATTLE siow; choice, $6.40®6.60. I SHEEP s'"ong; prime wethers, $3.75 i @3.90; culls and common, $3(33.35; I lambs. $3®3.55; veal calves, $7@7.50. HOGS higher; prime heavies. $6.50 i @0.60; mediums, $6.85®6.90; heavy end light Yorkers, $6.90@6.96; pigs, $6.05®7: roughs, $5.25®5.C0. When Romans Kissed. Rowena. the beautiful daughter of the Saxon Hengist. is credited with having introduced kissing into the British Islands. The Romans had a really delightful word for n kiss—oscu luui, which came from os, the mouth, nnd meant a little mouth, a sweet mouth. "Give me a sweet little mouth" would be the phrase used when a good little Roman boy asked his mother for a kiss. Use cf Naphtha. Naphtha is an inflammable liquid which exudes from the soil in certain parts of Persia. Subsequently the use of the term spread to include some volatile oils found in Europe and even America. The product of the oil fields of Southern Russia is usually called naphtha, although it dif fers in no way from the ordinary grades of petroleum. Naphtha prop erly includes the lighter oils which pass off first in the distillation of petroleum, the gravities ranging from 90 to 62 degrees Heamne. Pennsyl vania crude oil contains from 8 to 20 per cent, of naphtha. In the refining of such naphtha several products are obtained by fractional distillation. Those which pass off first —namely, rhigolene and cymogene—are gases at ordinary temperatures and are sel dom saved. The next product is known as gasoline, a material largely used in machines and for illuminating purposes. After this comes stove naphtha and gas naphtha, the latter being the base of much of the illumi nating gas now made. Petroleum naphtha is often treated with chemi cals to deodorize . Naphtha may also be made in the distillation of wood and coal tar. The Strange New Creed. Professor Percival Lowell, the fa mous astronomer and author, said tha other day of the public ignoranc® where astronomical matters are con cerned: "I can't discuss my Martian theoriel with the average man. He is °.s igno rant of astronomical terms as one ol our Flagstaff policemen is of all long Latin words. "This policeman arrested, the other night, an elderly gentleman who was parading the street in a white night gown. "'Good gracious, officer!' said the old gentleman, giving me a great start, 'it's all right; let me go. I'm a somnambulist.' "But the policeman tightened hia grip on the old fellow's arm. " 'lt don't make no odds what your religion « '• valu, 'you come along with uie.'" Roman Cooks and Clocks. It is pretty well established that the citizens of the Eternal City went on for more than six centuries with out any accurate means of knowing the time either by night or day. The Consul P. Scipio Naslca, in 159 B. C., set up in Home a public clepsydra, or water clock, the first timekeeper in the history of the city, waiving tha ordinary sun dial. The prices paid, even in the most luxurious days of Rome, for exquisite cooks were not up to those of to-day, the highest salary being 100,000 sesterces ($5,000), while some noted chefs of to-day receive SIO,OOO. Immortality. Nothing except lire burns and pains and inflames like intense cold and frost bites. Neither boiling water nor cold 200 degrees below zero kills the sprout in some seeds. Professor Bee querel found three seeds eighty-seven years old that sprouted. This sug gests that life may really be immor tal, even to stand the purgatorial and penitential fires. | | Has Liquor Got The Best j * of You? | YOII know thai drinking unfits a man for business. Em- x £ ployers recognize this anil do not want a drinking man X | around. No man will knowingly employ a victim of the { £ liquor habit in a responsible position. We can remove the 2 ■ terrible craving for liquor, and positively cure you, Reliable • • references furnished if desired. J 5 Address in strict confidence. j THE SWAINE REMEDY CO., | | 17 West Fourth Street, Williamsport, Pa. J v4 i Dependable M 8 i §3 VTI'TJ WE handle goods that are cheap, but not cheap goods. We want our goods to become y l £*',£? ... MM vour goods and our store your store. II it is H Clothing, or II il Shoes or ggj 1 Anything | to furnish man, woman or child up in classy, attractive ami (lapendaWle attire, tlion we have just the articles you need. (Jive 11s a call now. I^P^j ||| MAX MAMOLEN, LAPORTE. gj BLACKLEG. Owners of livestock in Sullivan County whose cattle are exposed to the infection of bluckleg or black quarter may have their cattle vac cinated against this disease !>y the State Livestock Sanitary Board without cost to the owner of the cuttle by complying with the. follow ing rules: — 1. An application for vac c nation shall be tilled out and mailed to l)r. ('. J. Marshall, Secre tary of the State Livestock Sani tary Hoard, llarrisburg, before May Ist, 11)11. '1 he application shall con tain the name and address of the owner of the cattle, a statement as tithe location of the farm upon which the. animals are kept anil the number and kind of animals in the h 'rd. Vaccinations cannot be made at tie expense of the State Livestock Sinitary Hoard upon application re ceived after May Ist. For such cause vaccine will be furnished free of charge, but the owner will be required to defray the expenses of employing the veterinarian to ad minister it. C. .1. Marshall, State Veterinarian. Register's Notices. Notice is hereby given tlint the follow ing Accounts of Kxecutors, Adminslra tors, etc., have been tiled in my office: First and Final Account of Walter J. Maurer, Kxecutor of the last Will and Testament ol James Tomkins, late of Klklaud Township, Deceased. In the Estate of Adam Morey, late ol Caerry Township, Deceased. Inventory Appraisement of Personal Kstate set. apait to widow. And the same will lie presented to the Orphans Court of Sullivan County, to le held at I.aporte, Fenna., on the fifteenth day of May, A. I>. I'JI I, at 3 o'clock P. M..for confirmation and allowance, and they shall then he confirmed Ni. Si.; and unless Inceptions are filed within tin days thereafter, Confirmation absolute will he entered thereon. ALBERT F. HEESB, Register of Wills. Register's ■ Mlice, I.a Forte. Fa., A) ri 1 17, 1911, You can get warm meals at all hours at Smith Boudman's hotel, Sonestown, I'a. adv.
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