SULLIVAN J81& REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY. Publisher. VOL. XII. Tho mi par lieet industry is l>elng rapidly pnslied in Australia. Tho countries of the world where women already have some suffrage have an area of over 18,000,000 sqnare miles, and their population is over 350,000,000. Says Texas Siftings: Seven ont of every ten railroad accidents are settled with an annual pass. Some men would be run over by a whole freight train for the sake of a few free rides. Aft the result of statistics showing a large increase in the number of youth ful criminals, the German Ministry of the Interior is discussing a reorgani zation of the system of compulsory education. The New Zealand farmers are the most prosperous in tho world. Within the past ten years the agricultural re sources have been developed until the dairy and frozen-moat industries have attained enormous proportions. An English passenger recently bought a ticket from London to Vienna. After twenty-four hours' traveling without having had a chance to get any food, tho traveler stopped off at Dresden rather than continue hiß journey for the leruaining twelve hours in a state of starvation. The German railway company cancelled his ticket, which contained no stop ping privilege, and he was forced to buy u her. Australia has not yet recovered from her financial troubles. Rigid economy has been practiced in all de partments of the various Governments for months past, and there has beon entrenchment all around, but yet tho revenue returns are not satisfactory. In the Colony of Victoria tho expendi tures of the Government during the quarter just eudeJ exceeded the rev enue by something like .$'2,000,000. The interest on deposits in tho State savings banks has been reduced from 3 J to three per cent. The strong facial resemblance which married couples often acquire after living together a long period of years, Harmonious in thought and feeling, and subject to tho same conditions in life, has often been commented upon. The Photographic Society, of Geneva, recently took tho pictures of seventy eight couplo for an investigation of this subject. The result was that in twenty-four cases the resemblance in the personal appearance of the hus band and wife was greater than that of brother and sister ; in thirty cases it was equally great and in only twenty-four was there a total absence of resemblance. The Atlanta Constitution is con vinced that no money-making scheme is too rascally for some men, as wit ness the gang lately arrested in New York, which for years has been plun dering insurance companies and cruelly killing horses in order to secure in surance money. They rented a stable, filled it with fine horses, good har nesses and carriages, getting as large insurance upon the contents as was possible. Then a lot of worthless horses, worn-out wagons, etc., were substituted and the stable sat on fire. Tho gang is known to have destroyed more than a dozen staiixes, involving the death of 100 or more horses. The law having got these rascals in its clutches, it is to be hoped a dose will bo given them that will serve as a warning to others. A writer in tho Lady's Journal, in oommenting on tho story of the doc tor's pago introducing a patieut as "Jones" instead of "Mr. Jones," upon tho ground that he did not know ho was married, contends that the boy was not to blame so much as our own lingual deficiency ia the mattor. Men ought to havo a prolix, sh a siys, whioh should indicate at once whether thoj are married or single. It would be lnore convenient, doubtless, for the feminine worklj but soino married men, writes James Payn, woul I not like this plan at nil. Th ouly chance they have of being received with civ ility by tho other sex is this doubt ol their eligibility for matrimony. More over, though it bo truo the ladles have their "Mrs." and".Miss" to denotj their connubial or celibato condition, there is nothing to indicate it in their cpistolory communications; they per sist ia withholding this information from thoir correspondent:', who conse quently never know how to addicm thorn, Editors, of course, are oou st aptly placed iu this cmharras-<ing position. Itis»af<-r to write "MrV; ttost women, unless they are advo cates of female right*, prefer it to be Mttppoßcd that some nrtlo lias fallen a victim to their bow and spear. There aro 08,000 postoffices in tho United States, and of these 67,000 do not pay the expenses of operating and maintaining them. Ex-Secretary of tho Navy Tracy is quoted as saying to a friend that in addition to the work and worry his cabinet life cost him 830,000 every year above his salary of 88000. "Worth its weight in gold" is said to be an inadequate expression when applied to a copy of tho first edition of Walton's "Complete Angler." Tho amount of gold its value represents in England would outweigh many copies. Tho Japanese Government has is sued an ordinance for tho purpose of restraining and regulating emigration from Japan, and has made a rule that no emigrant will be permitted to leave his own conutry for a land where his coming would be in violation of the law of that country. If the inheritance tax law, just en acted in England, had been in force in this country at Jay Gould's death, his estate would have paid to the Govern ment 85,600,000. Mr. Rockfeller's es tate would have to pay 810,000,000; William H. Vanderbilt's estate would have paid 816,000,000. Supervisor of Indian Schools Moss has sent to tho Bureau of Indian Affairs a denial of the statement that "Apache Kid," the noted outlaw, was an educated Indian, which has been used as an argument against educating the rod men. While at San Carlos Superintendent Moss inquired about this, and learned that the outlaw was never in school a day. He was a Gov ernment scout, and while in that posi tion learned to speak some English. A novel and extremely interesting experiment is soon to be tried in Ohio, announces tho New York Tribune. It is a new departure in road improve ment, which is claimed by its author to have points of marked superiority over the building of macadamized roads. The plan is to extend the elec tric railway tracks from cities and towns into the surrounding country, and to construct tho roads in such a way that they can be used for wagons and carriages drawn by horses as well as by cars. Of course there will be a great saving in horse power wherever such roads are used, since far heavier loads can be drawn on steel tracks with the same force. In two counties of Ohio trial will be made of this sys tem the present year. It need hardly be said that tho result will be awaited with much interest not only in Ohio, but in other States. The question of road improvement is filling a large place in the public mind nowadays, and anything in the direction of solv ing it is sure of earnest and respectful attention. Something similar to tho Ohio idea was suggested by an Eng lish writer years ago, but nothing, we believe, ever came of it. Some interesting facts present them selves as to the social condition of tho people of the United States in a study of the statistics of the Census Bureau, remarks the Boston Herald. The Census was taken on June 1, 1890, and then out of 32,067,880 male in habitants of this country the un married numbered 19,945,576. The married were 11,205,228, tho widowed were 815,437 and the divorced were 49,101. Out of 30,554,370 female in habitants 17,183.984 were single, 11,- 126,196 were married, 2,154,615 were widows and 71,895 were divorced. The number of married females is thus much larger than tho proportion of married men, and the fact that the proportion of widows is three times as great as the proportion of widowers, and the number of divorced women much larger than the number of di vorced men, shows that the men who aro widowers and divorced more fre quently married again than women in the same condition, Again, it ie shown that, by comparing the in habitants of fifty principal cities with the country at large, the greater pro portion of married men are in the cities rather than in the country. This is contrary to expectation, and tho percentage of married males in the cities is one per cent, higher than it is on the average in the country. In classifying the divorced persons, it is found that thoy aro most numerous in the western division, and least numer ous in Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, the two Carolina*, Georgia and Florida. In Maryland the proportion of mar riages is exceptionally high and yet in that Stato there are three timos as many widows as there are widowers. Divorces aro more common at ibt West than in the East. These are a few of the facts that appear in the study of the Census from the point of view of the conjugal relation LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 29. 1894. SILVER AND GOLD, Pare well, my little sweethoart, Now fare you well and free I olalm from you no promise, You olalm no vows from ma. The reason why?—tbe reason Right well we can uphold I have too muoh of silver, And you've too mueh of gol<L A puzzle this, to worldlings, Whose love to lucre flies, Who think that gold to silver Should eount as mutual prize 1 But I'm not avaricious, And you're not sordid-souled I have too muoh of silver. And you've too mush of gold. Upon our heads tho reason Too plainly can be seen; I am the Winter's bond slave, You are the Summer's queon, Too few the years you number, Too mary I have told; I have too muoh of silver, And you've too muoh of gold. You have the rose for tokon, I have dry leaf and rime, I have the sobbing vesper, You, morning bells at chimo. I would that I were younger, (Yet you grew never old) Would I had less of silver, But you no less of gold. —Edith M. Thomas. BACK FROM"™ TOMB. BY GUY DE MAUPASSANT. fH E guests filed slowly into the hotel's great dining hall and took their places, tho waiters began to serve them leisurely, to give the tardy ones time to arrive and to save themselves the bother of bringing back the courses; and the old bathers, tho yearly habitues, with whom the season was far advanced, kept a close watch on the door each time it opened, hoping for the coming of new faces. New faces! the single distraction of all pleasure resorts. Wo goto dinner chiefly to canvass the daily arrivals, ta wonder who they are, what they do and what they think. A restless de sire seems to have taken possession of us, a longing for pleasant adventures, for friendly acquaintances, perhaps for possible lovers. In this elbow-to elbow life our unknown neighbors be come of paramount importance. Curi osity is piqued, sympathy on tho alert, and the social instinct doubly active. That evening, then, as on every evening, we waited the appoarance of unfamiliar faces. There came only two, but very peculiar ones, those of man and wo man—father and daughter. They seemed to have stepped from tho pages of some weird legend; and yet there was an attraction about them, albeit an unpleasant one, that made me set them down at once as the victims of some fatality. The father was tall, spare, a little bent, wiih hair blanched white, too white for his still young countenance, and in his manner and about his per son the sedate austerity of carriage that bespeaks the puritan. The daugh ter was, possibly, some twenty-four or twenty-five years of age. She was very slight, emaciated, her exceedingly pale countenance bearing a languid, spiritless expression ; one of those peo ple whom we bometimes encounter, ap parently too weak for the cares and tasks of life, too feeble to movo or do things that wo must do every day. Nevertheless the girl was pretty, with the ethereal beauty of an apparition. It was she, undoubtedly, who came for the benefit of the waters. They chanced to be placed at table immediately opposite to me; and 1 was not long in noticing that the father, too, had a strange affection— something wrong about the nerves, it seemed. Whenever he was going to reach for anything his hand, with a jerky twitch, described a sort of zig zag before it was able to grasp what he was after. Soon tho motion disturbed me so much I kept my head turned in order not to see it. But not bofore I had also observed that the young girl kept her glove on her left hand while she ate. Dinnor ended, I went out as usual for a turn in the grounds belonging to the establishment. A sort of park, I might say, stretching clear to the lit tle station of Auvergno, Chatel- Guyon, nestling in a gorge at the foot of the high mountain, from which flowed the sparkling, bubbling springs, hot from the furnace of an ancient volcano. Beyond us there, the domes, email extinct craters—of which Chatel- Guyon is the starting point—raised their serrated heads above the long chain ; white beyond the domes came two distinct regions, one of them nee dle-like peaks, the other of bold, pre cipitous mountains. It was very warm that evening and I contented myself with pacing to and fro under the rustling trees, gazing at the mountains and listening to the strains of the baud, pouring from the Casino, situated on a knoll that over looked the grounds. Presently, I perceived the father and daughter coming toward me with slow steps. I bowed to them in that pleasant continental fashion with which one always salutes his hotel companions. Tho gentleman halted at once. "Pardon, me, sir," said he, "but may I ai-k if you can direct us to a short walk, easy and pretty if possi ble!" "Certainly," I answered, and I ofl'ered to load them myself to the val ley through which the swift river flowi— a deep, narrow cleft between two great declivities, rooky and wooded. They accepted, and as we walked we naturally discussed the virtue of the mineral waters. Thoy had, as I surmised, come there on his daugh ter's account. "She has a strange malady," said he, ' 'the seat of which her physicians cannot determine. She suffers from the most inexplicable nervous symp toms. Sometimes they declare her ill of a heart disease, sometimes of a liver complaint, again of a spinal trouble. At present they at tribute it to the stomach —that great motor and regulator of tho body—this protean disease of a thousand forms, a thousand modes of attack. It is why we are here. I, myself, think it her nerves. In any case, it is very sad." This reminded mo of his own jerk ing head. "It maybe hereditary," says I; "your own nerves are a little disturbed, are they not?" "Mine?" he answered, tranquilly. "Not at all; I have always posseseed the calmest nerves." Then, suddenly, as if bethinking himself: "For this," touching his hand, "is not nerves, but the result of a shock, a terrible shock that I suffered once. Fancy it, sir ; this child of mine has been buried alive!" I could find nothing to say; I was dumb with surprise. "Yes," ho continued, "buried alive ; but hear the story; it is not long. For some time past Juliette had seemed affected with a disordered action of the heart. Wo were finally certain that the trouble was organic, and feared the worst. One day it came ; she was brought in lifeless—dead. She had fallen dead while walking in the gar den. Physicians came in haste, but nothing could be done. Sho was gone. For two days and two nights I watched beside her myself, and with my own hands placed her in her coffin, which I followed to tho cemetory and saw placed in the family vault. This was in the country, in the province of Lorraine. "It had been my wish, too, that she should be buried in her jewels, brace lets, necklace and rings, all presents that I had given her, and in her first ball dress. You con imagine, sir, the state of my heo't in returning home. She was all that I had left; my wife had been dead for many years. I re turned, in trutn, half mad, shut my self alone in my room and fell into my chair dazed, unable to move, merely a miserable, breathing wreck. "Soon my old valet, Prosper, who had helped me place Juliette in her coffin and lay her away for her last sleep, came in noiselessly to see if he could not induce me to eat. I shook my head, answered nothing. He per sisted. " 'Monsieur is wrong ; this will make him ill. Will monsieur allow me, then, to put him to bed?" "'No, no,' I answered. 'Let me alone.' "He yielded and withdrew. "How many hours passed I do not know. What a night! What a night! It was very cold; my fire of logs had long since burned out in the great fireplace; and the wind, a wintry blast, charged with an icy frost, howled and screamed about the house and strained at my windows with a curiously sinister sound. "Long hours, 1 say, rolled by. I sat still where I had fallen, prostrated, overwhelmed; my eyes wide open, but my body streugthless, dead; my soul drowned in despair. Suddenly the great bell gave a loud peal. "I gave such a leap that my chair cracked under me. The slow, solemn sound rang through the empty house. I looked at the clock. "It waa two in the morning. Who could bo coming at such an hour? "Twice again the bell pulled sharp ly. Tho servants would never answer, perhaps nover hear it. I took up a candle and made my way to the door. I was about to demand : "'Who is there!'but, ashamed of the weakness, nerved myself and drew back the bolts. My heart throbbed, my pulse beat, I threw back the panol brusquely, and there, in the darkness, saw a shape like a phantom, dressed in white. "I recoiled, speechless with anguish, stammering: " 'Who—who are you?' "A voice answered: " 'lt is I, father.' "It was my child, Juliette. "Truly, I thought myself mad. I shuddered, shrinking backward before the spectre as it advanced, gesticulat ing with my haud to ward off the ap parition. It is that gesture which has never left me. "Again the phantom spoke: "'Father, father! See, I am not dead. Some one came to rob me of my jewels—they cut off my finger— the—tho flowing blood revived me.' "And I saw then that she was cov ered with blood. I fell to my knees panting, sobbing, laughing, all in one. As soon as I regained my senses, but still so bewildered I scarcely compre hended the happiness that had come to me, I took her in my arms, carried her to my room and rang frantically for Prosper to rekindle the fire, bring a warm drink for her and go for the doctor. "Ho came running, entered, gazed a moment at my daughter in the chair, gave a gasp of fright and hor ror and fell back—dead. "It was he who had opened the vault, who Ind wouuded and robbed my child aud then abandoned her; for ho could not efface all trace of his deed; aud he had not oven taken the troublo to return tho coflin to its niche; sure, besides, of not being suspected by me, who trusted him so fully. We are truly very uufortunate people, monsieur." Ho was silsnt. Meanwhile the night had eomo i»u, envelopiug in the gloom the still mid solitary little valley; a bort of Mysterious dread t>veiuud to fall npon me in the presence of theae strango beings—this corpse came to life and this father with his painful gestures. •'Let us return," said I; "the night has grown chill." And, still in silence, we traced our steps back to the hotel, and I shortly afterwards returned to the city. I lost all further knowledge of the two peculiar visitors to my favorite sum mer resort. SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. Artificial ear drums arc a success. Insect eggs have the greatest vi tality. The sour gonrd trees of Africa aro the oldest living vegetation. The apple contains a larger amount of phosphorous, or brain food, than any other fruit. The United States has a lower per centage of blind people than any oth er country in the world. Microscopists say that the strongest microscopes do not, probably, reveal the lowest stage of animal life. There are 100 students taking the course of electrical engineering at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. It was twenty-nine days from the casting of the Lick objective glass be fore it had cooled sufficiently for safe removal. Tho Electrical Review says the elec trical purification of sewage "is a com plete success, chemically and bacter iologically." The South Sea Islands is the home of a worm which emerges from its hiding place only one day of a certain change of the moon in October. The East Indian ship worm will in a few months destroy any vessel by eat ing out tho interior of the beams and planks. Thoy will be left a mere shell that can be shattered by the fist. The oni m has virtues to which thousands of people will swear. This is its ability to ward off attacks of ma laria in any form, and to euro cases as rapidly as the strongest doses of quinine. A New York lady has so contrived matters that she can, before getting out of bed, start a fire in the kitchen by turning on the current, and when she comes down stairs finds the kettle boiling and the place comfortably warmed. J. J. Hogan, a mechanical student of Yale College, has invented a re markable instrument, called the Kino siineter, which is used to measure the slightest motion perceptible to the test of touch. The measure is one millimeter p«/ second. The important discovery has been made by Doctor Backeland that the addition of a minuto amount of a solu ble fluorid to yeast will preserve it for more than six months. Doubtless other important applications will be made of this remarkable property of the solu ble fluorids. Mr. Qraham, the great British eleo trician, lias invented a "lond-speak ing telephone," an apparatus which gathers and materializes the wave sounds to such a wonderful degree that they can be heard any plaoj in a large room, even after traveling over the wires hundreds of miles. How Hard Times Make Soldiers. It is an interesting fact that hard times usually bring plenty of reoruits to the United States Army. A reoruit ing sergeant told me that it is easier now to recruit a good class of young men and plenty of them than it has been for years. "You see," he said, "thereare hun dreds of young fellows who usually earn good enough wages in the mills and factories of New York, Newark and other cities in this vicinity, who have been out of work during the past winter. When every other resource seems to be exhausted many of those young fellows tarn to Uncle Sam and enlist in his service. "It isn't patriotism nor love of ad venture that impels them to put on the blue. It is stern necessity. The pay is poor and the task is hard, but they enlist, many of them, rather than turn to beggary or theft."—New York Herald. Strange History ot a Cherry Tree. In the management of a cherry tree the late Almeron Higby, of Watson, Lewis County, may be regarded by some people as wiser iu his day and generation than the youthful George Washington. When nine years old he planted a cherry stone, from which grew a tree that was known by his parents as "the boy's tree." When it began to bear cherries he picked the fruit, sold it, and saved the money. This he continued to do during his entire life. Last summer, at the age of fifty-nine, his health declined, and the tree also began to decay. So he cut it down, had the trunk sawed into boards, and with his own hands made a pretty ohtrry coffin for himself. A few days ago ho died, and all of his funeral expenses were paid from the money that ho had saved as the pro ceeds of the sale of the cherries.—Mil waukee Wisconsin. Oil ot Eggs. Extraordinary stories are told of the healing properties of a now oil which is easily mode from tho yolks of hens' egg*. Tho eggs ore first boiled hard, and the yolks are then re moved, crushed and placed over a lire, where they aro carefully stirred uutil the substance is on the point of catch ing fire, when the oil separates and the oil may lie poured off. One yolk will yield nearly two teaspoonfuW of oil. It is in general use among the colouUts of South Uu«i.t as a iiteu'ii of curing cuts, luuioti«, etc. - St. LUU.M Star Saying. Terms—-SI.OO in Advance ; #1.25 after Three Months. ODD FREAKS OF THE SEA. SOME STRANGE SIOHTB AND QUEER EXPERIENCES. Effects of Gigantic Waves—Sub-Ma rine Rruptlons and Storms—Show ers of Fish Bones. SAILORS have more than their fill of strange sights and strange experiences. Big waves range among these strange experiences. We do not refer to those waves which are the imme diate consequences of high winds and atmospherical disturbances, but to those single waves of immense height which shew themselves suddenly in the midst of a sea comparatively smooth. A vessel may be sailing along, in fine weather and with no swell on worth mentioning, when, without tho least warning, comes sweeping along a wave that towers like a mountain, falls on the deok, and carries away everything movable, members of the crew among the rest. The steamer San Francisco was once struck by a tidal wave of this sort in the Gulf Stream, and 179 persons swept into the sea and drowned. In March last all the crew save one of the bark Johann Wilhelm were washed over board by a single wave. In June last year the ship Holyrood encountered another such sea which is said to have risen up "suddenly like a wall" and to have flooded her decks fore and aft. The Cunarders, Etruria and Umbria, have both encountered the phenom enon, and the former had one man killed and several others injured. The case of the Pomeranian will be fresh in the minds of all. Sometimes these waves are the result of submarine eruptions and laud earthquakes occur, ring in close proximity to the sea. An English bark crossing the North Pacific met with one of these big waves and immediately afterward the ocean seemed to be boiling, ami the sulphur fumes that emerged from the water were so powerful as to drive the crew into the rigging. Clearly there was an eruption here as the ship sailed over, and the wonder is that the groat wave did not do more injury. Again, the American schooner I)oro J. Ward, while on a voyage to Seattle, Wash., from Cooper Island, was sail ing quietly along, when suddenly she was lifted as if a whale had struck her bottom, and then experienced a suc cession of shocks which oast every thing loose about their feet. There were a few big waves succeeding the main one, and then everything was smooth again. The biggest solitary wave ever known was that caused by the Peruvian earthquake of August 13th, 1868. In no other instance, we are assured, has it been known that a well markedjwave of enormous propor tions has been propagated over the largest ocean tract of the globe by au earthquake whoso action has been lim ited to a relatively small region not situated in the centre but ou one side of the area traversed by the wave. At Africa it was fifty feet high, and en veloped the town, carrying two war ships nearly a mile beyond the railway of the north of the town. It inundat ed the smaller members of the Sand wich group, 6300 miles away, and reached Yokohama, in Japan, iu the early hours of the morning, after tak ing in New Zealand ou the way. It spent itself finally in the South At lantic, having traversed nearly the whole globe. A singular occurrence was reported recently by the English ship Cuci para. She was about midway between the Cape and Australia when she en countered a hurricane. About mid night of August 4 last the sea sud denly fell almost calm. "It appeared as if the sea was aftected by some tremendous pressure," when suddenly the whole vessel fore and aft was en veloped in sheets of flame that rose half way up tho masts and overran the decks for three-quarters of an hour. It was an electrical storm, and the crow, never haviug encouutered such ft thing before, were panic stricken, and very naturally so. They expected every minute to see tho masts go by the board. After what must hftvo been a very cheerful forty flvo minutes the flames snvift'ed out suddenly, and left darkness so thick that it might have been cut. Another singular occurrence was that of the bark Peter Pridell, which was off Valparaiso when a whirlwind passed over her stern, taking away everything movable, sails and all, on the after part of the bhip, leaviug the forward part untouched. Hero was the sharp end of a storm with a vengeance. Almost as surprised at their good fortuue and narrow escape must have been the crew of the barken tine Fortunate, which, while ou a voyage from Rio Grando to Liverpool, felt a tremendous shock that could not be accounted for until the vessel was put into dry dock, when the sword of a swordfish was found to have penetrated somo feet into the wood ot the hull. Yet another of the curiosities of the sea is the occasional shower of fish bones or the like, falling ou deck when many miles from land. These showers are easily explained. The fish are taken up in waterspouts, and come down in more or less rarefied condition. But perhaps the most awful of all things that can happen at sea is a fire. A severe squall break ing over a vessel unprepared for it, and with all her sails set, is bad, but the experience is short, sharp and generally decisive; but for loug drawn-out agouy there is nothiug like a fire, especially if it is among coal, and there is also dynamite or guu powiler iu the cargo. —Pall Mall Gasette. If a snail's head be cut off and the animal placed in a cool, moist *pot a new head will be grown. NO. 38. OOLDEN HOURS. OOLDEN DAYS. Everything has beauty in It In the world that 'round us lies, Lifting up eaoh waking minute, Giving joy to longing eyee, That shall All the hours with praise- Golden hours make golden days. By us joys are ever flying. Lot us make our hearts their snare Let us share the sweetness lying All about us everywhere! Let us walk In happy ways- Golden hours make golden days. Troubles come but they are fleeting; Soon their shadows will go by, Ait the olouds the sunlight meeting, Pass and show the azure sky. Life Is full of sunny rays— Golden hours mako golden days. —George Blrdseye, In Detroit Free Press. HUMOK OF THE DAY. A trying situation—The cloak mod. el's. It ia seldom difficult to appear nat ural when you have no desire to please.—Puck. It frequently happens that the flro of genius has difficulty in making tho pot boil.—Puck. My neighbor calls bis cat "There by" —because from it hangs a tail.— Arkansaw Traveler. Strange as it may scorn, it some times happens that an old salt gets into trouble by boing too fresh. Almost every woman we know would J'ke to know what some other woman has got to be so proud of. —Atchison Globe. Paddy's latest feat was to pawn his gun, preparatory to a day's shooting, in order to buy cartridges. —London Truth. There is plenty of room at the top ; but there isn't enough for one-tenth of the people who think they ought to be there.—Puck. The peooe maker is a commondable character, but he is not esteemed by the fellow who is getting the best of the fight.—Puck. The part of a man's salary that ho usually doesn't spend is tho part ho would receive if ho were getting what he is worth.—Puck. "Galton had his lawn mower stolen last night." "Great Caesar ! What a lucky fellow he has always been."— Chicago Inter-Ocean. Speaking of bereavement, Jones af firms that no death ever affected him so sadly as that of his wife's first hus band.—Salem Gazette. Two words sometimes make a long sentence. For instance. judge remarks to tho prisoner: "Twenty years."—Truth. You may sp6ak as you will of pedi gree generally, but in a sleeping car it is a man's berth which raises hiin above his fellow passengers. An exchange tells "how to make a fountain pen work satisfactorily." Another way is to give it to one of your enemies.—Texas Siftings. There is that in a woman's disposi tion that induces hor to give anything she has to the poor, providing they will use it her way.—Atchison Globe. I kissed her a dozen times last night, And now it makes mo sore To think that if I'd only stayed, X might have had one more. —Life. A woman's idea of loyalty is to loan her best silverware to a neighbor who is giving a party, and say nothing when she hears it praised. Atchison Globe. Jack—"What sort of a girl is she?" Jim—"'Oh, sho is a miss with a mis sion." "Ah!" "And her mission is seeking a man with a mansion."— Spare Moments. The lightning flashed, the lightning crashod, The skies were rent asunder, With shriek and wail loud blew the gale, And then It rained like thunder! —Puek. Willy Wilt—"Do you know, I fancy I have quite a literary bont." Van Demmitt—"All right, my boy ; keep on and you'll be worse than bent— you'll be broke."—Puck. ; Mudge—"Er—Miss Laura, I hope 1 am not talking too much about my self." Miss Laura—"Oh, no.. You have to be talked about by somebody, of oourse." —Indianapolis Journal. No wonder the modest violet Drops shyly out of sight If it hears all the poems People about it write. —Chicago luter-Ooean. Housekeeper—"Are yon sure that this tea isn't half copperas?" Dealer (convincingly) "We couldn't afford to sell copperas at the extremely low price we charge for this tea, ma'am." —New York Weekly. L'Enfant Terrible —"Have you got another faoe?" Mrs. Homeleigh "No, dear; why do you ask?" L'En fant Terrible—".Mamma said you are two-faced; but I thought if yoii had another one, you wouldn't wear that one." —London Tid-Bits. In the gloaming. O my darling, ffhdro the nlguts are six months lon& If I stayed till midnight, darling. Would you think that it was wrong? Would you work the old gags on me? Would you murmur, soft ani low. That I might be late for breakfast. Or tho olook was six weeks slow? —Detroit Free Press. Teacher —"Now, Johnnie, you may tell us this: Suppose your mother had told you to come home at five o'clock, and you did not go; what would you be doing?" Johnnie—"l don't know whether it would be swimmiu' or playin' baseball." Chicago Inter- Ocean. "What have you named your new boy?" "William. I wauted to get a name that would be sure to fit." "I don't quite oatch." "Why, don't you im, if he grows up to be a real nice, good kind of young mau he will be oallad Willie, anil if he should happen to turn out pretty tough be can be o*ll*l BUl.lndianapolis Journal.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers