SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN. W. M. CHENEY, Publisher. VOL. XI. Rhode Island legislators get one dol lar a day. Forest fireii in this country destroy every year f?l 2,(100,000 worth of tim ber. A statistician, quoted by the Boston Transcript, finds that the death rate is lower among clergymen than among any other class of workers. Notwithstanding modern improve ments, the Yankee Blade avers, that it costs more per 1000 feet to manu facture lumber to-day than it did forty years ago. At a meeting of the largest exporters of Mediterranean fruits, recently held at Palermo, Italy, it was unanimously decided not to ship fruits this season on steamers carrying immigrants. There are estimated to be at present 40,000 elk, 1500 deer, 300 buffalo, 1000 black-tailed deer, 300 mountain sheep and plenty of bear, beaver and other varieties of animals in Yellowstone Park. Once A Week is of opinion that "the problem of what a man possessed of plenty of money not earned by himself shall do for a worthy and honorable occupation, is certainly uot yet worked out in this country." In the course of a trial to determine the ownership of a bushel of oysters, a Cape May (N. J.) oysterinan testified that he could identify his own oysters wherever he found them. The jury didn't agree with him, but he says he will appeal the case. When a settler in the Northwest Territory wants i-> go back to Ontario to be married, the Canadian Paeilie Railway sells him a matrimonial ticket at the usual rate; and, on presenting the return coupon and a marriage cer tificate, he is entitled to free transport for his bride. "Austria's desire for peace amounts to a passion so intense," observes the Detroit Free Press, "that she requires twenty-two now batteries of artillery and more men in her regiments in or der to keep tip her friendly relations with all the European powers. The armed Nations of the East are bound to have peace, cost what it may iu the way of men and arms." Justice Field, of the United States Supremo Court, has denied thy appeal of the State of Virginia for a readjust ment of tho boundary between that State and Tennessee. The disputed territory is a strip from two to eight • miles wide from the North Carolina line, a due west course in latitude 36.30 north to the Kentucky line. The court held that the present line had been recognized as the true boundary for over eighty-live years. A compendium of consular reports on the condition of European roads lias just been issued by the State Depart ment at Washington. Two features of this report should be of especial in terest to American farmers. In tho first plaee, the highways of France, Germany, England, Holland nnd Belgium are far superior to those of ihe I nited States. A fair sample of the statements on this point is that of one of the consuls in France. He says:"The wagon roads of France, always passable and reaching all centres of population, no matter how small, are the chief competitors of the rail ways, as means of communication by water are not numerous." The other point which ought to interest American farmers, adds the Chicago Herald, is tho effect which these splendid roads have had on the price of land and on the prosperity of the small landowners. The New York Post states that "Biblical students the world over will take great interest iu the reported dis covery by Professor Harris, in the Convent of Mount Sinai, of a complete Syrian text of the Four Gospels. It was from the iguorant and secretive monks of Sinai that Tischendarff finally obtained his famous Codex Sinaiticus forty years ago, and Professor Harris's find is even more precious, if tho report is correct, since this Syrian version doubtless antedates any extant New Testament manuscript in Greek. It promises to be of tho highest im portance to Biblical scholars in the light which it will shed upon that question which critics are now so earnestly debating—the evolution of the text of tho New Testament as we now have it. Professor Harris has already gone fur towards fulfilling his own prophecy, made in his recent edi tion of the new-found apocryphal Gospel of St. Peter, thit the next generation would see more important discoveries ia Christian antiquities than the past f'-u. . utuneb i>ul together," The most beautiful bank notes issued are those of France and Germany. They are very difficult of jmitation. Between London and Paris the long distance telephone lines have almost supplanted the telegraph, so much more expeditious are they. If financial disasters bo a test of ac tual condition, the boasted prosperity of Australia seems, to the New York Commercial Advertiser, to be about to come to an end in the crash of bauks. A New York Judge has decided that the practice of boycotting is not il legal, but ho seems to the San Fran cisco Chronicle to have based his deci sion upon tho fact that both employer and employed had mutually engaged iu the business of harassing each other. According to the New York Inde pendent one of the greatest literary undertakings of late years in America is the reprint in a somewhat revised shape of Waleh's edition of Luther's works. This is being done by the book concern of the Lutheran Synod of Missouri and other States. Twelve volumes 111 largo quoto have already appeared. A Kentuekian who entered the august presence of the United States Supreme Court recently says there were but two lawyers within the bar, one of them making a prosy speech and the other working mightily like a man who was expecting to answer his opponent. "There was an air of solemn dullness about the grave jurists which seemingly was an appropriate atmos phere for the enshrouding of brooding Buddhas." A reform movement seems to be sweeping over our Southern neighbor —Mexico, notes the Independent. States have passed laws abolishing hull lighting, and it is expected that the National Congress will complete the work by a general prohibitory bill. This is a very gratifying indication of the working of good influences in our sister Republic. Mexico without bull lights and without revolutions is Mex ico under the control of the new civ ilization. Tho Railway Suspension Bridge at Niagara, the first of its kind in this country, and for many years regarded as a wonder second only to the great cataract, has outlived its capacity, de clares the New York Mail and Express, and probably will soon be replaced by another and greater structure. This old bridge was the first of the marvel ous triumphs of our engineers, who have now progressed far beyond it, and who have come to regard it as a very ordinary affair. Captain Molard, a professor at St. Cvr, Franc's West Point, who ought to be good authority, has made a care ful calculation of the force of soldiers now under call in Europe. He puts France at the head, with 2,500,000; next, Russia with '2,451,000 ; close upon her, Germany with 2,417,000; then, after a long interval, Italy, with 1,514,- 000; while fifth among the armies comes that of Austria-Hungary, with 1,050,000. A great drop brings us to Turkey, with 700,000; to England, with 342,000 ; and to Spain, with 300,- 000. Tho lesser powers put together can muster 1,289,000, so that the ag gregate would be 12,563,000. It is a tremendous aggregate for Europe to maintain, comments the New York Sun. However, only a small part of these forces are constantly with the colors, forming what we should call the regular or standing army, They include the reserves of various grades, and perhaps only a fourth or a fifth of the whole body are always under arms. These figures, nevertheless, as we un derstand the matter, shows us the number on the rolls or in the calcula tions for possible use in time of war, and for which provision is made of some sort iu the military budgets. But Captain Molard expects these num bers to be far outdone seven years hence. From various calculations and surmises he concludes that in the year 1000 Germany will have 5,000,000 sol diers ; France, 4,350,000; Russia, 4,- 000,000; Italy, 2,23(5,000; Austria- Hungary, 1,900,000; Turkey, 1,150,- 000; Spain, 800,000; England, 602,- 000, and the smaller powers 2,832,000. Here would be a prodigious aggregate of 22,420,000. This calculation for the year I'JOO supposes, therefore, an ad dition of nearly 10,000,000 to the crushing military establishments of to day. It is not beyond the domain of a reasonable possibility that before the Twentieth Century arrives the huge military fabric of Europe will tumble of its own weight, and that, under a general plan of disarmament, the armies of that period, instead of being nearly double those of 1803, may uot be more U*mi halt' at* great. LAPORTE, PA., FEIDAY, JUNF LOVE'S FIRST KISS Sweetheart, 'twas but a while ago—it scaroe seems yesterday, Though now ray looks are white ns snow nnd all your curls are gray - When, walking in the twilight haw, ere stars had smiled above, whispered soft: "I love you," and you kissed me for that love! The first kiss, dear! and then your hand— your little hand so sweet, And whiter than the white, white sand that twinkled 'noath your feet— ' .aid tenderly within my own ! Have queens suoh lovely hands? No wonder that the whip-poor-wills raado sweet the autumn lands! It seemed to me that my poor heart would beat to death and break. While all the world, sweetheart! sweotheart! seemed singing for your sake ; And every rose that liarred the way in glad and dying grace, Forgot its fad«d summer day and, leaning, kissed your face! I envied all the roses then, ond all tho rosy ways That blossomed for your sake are still my life's bright yesterdays; But thinking of that first sweet kiss and that first clasp of hands, Ijife's whip-poor-wills sing sweeter now though nil the winter lands ! - Frank L. Stanton, in Atlanta Constitution. AN UNPUNISHED CRIME. BY LUCIA BURTON MORSE. E ROY, yon were 1 well warned of this in ample time to prevent its occur & renee. A year ago, when you left col ' settled all Jill 1 your debts, in- M creased your allow • ance, gave you a good start in your chosen profession, and told you decidedly then, or tried to impress upon you, that all further expenditures must come within the limit of your personal income. Your opportunities for making that income a large amount were better than most young men start out with, and if it has failed to meet your expenses yon must settle the matter in the best way that you can. The affair is yours alone." The Hon. Amos Leonard turned again to his papers, as though to dis miss the mntter, while his son, whose affairs had been returned to himself with so much decision, crossed the room and stood looking out of the win dow, whistling softly as he jingled the coins in his pockets. He had not expected this rebuff. Never before had his indulgent father refused to help him out in whatever difficulties were brought to him for consideration. It may have been in utne sense the fault of this parent that his only son had grown to manhood with a disre gard for dollars, which led his gen erous, happy-go-lucky nature into wild and reckless extravagance. Leroy Leonard liiul been a very lit tle boy when his , mother and older sister died, leaving) him alone to his father's care. So it was tho most natural thing in the world that, after the first paralysis of grief hn<l worn away with time, Mr. Amos Leonard centered all his love, and hope and pride in this lonely fel low. Whatever happiness was left in the world for his father was embodied in Le Hoy. What wonder is it that the boy grew to a man with the idea that all obstacles would be in some way removed from the path of the courted Le Roy Leonard. He had gone through college with every confirmation of this idea nnd it was not until he started out in business, that his father realized the utter lack of diwipline or manage ment in his adored son. Then with his usual mixture of indulgence and in consistency, he gave him a generous start and absolutely withdrew all further aid, It cost the Hon. Amos Leonard more than his son dreamed to hold out in this matter. He would deny himself anything in reason, or out of it, to save this bright natured son of? his one extra care or trouble; and thistself-denialfor Le Roy's own good was hardest of all because it brought its liaalships to him as well as to his father. This idea of discipline; had occurred to Mr. Leonard rather'late perhaps, but he was determined to undo the wrong of former years, at whatever cost of self-sacrifice. There are many who will criticise his judgment in this case—rightfully, too, perhaps —but he was doing what he thought best. His motive was good, indeed; it was only that he was a man —a father, not a mother. Le Roy stood whistling for more than half an hour. Then he took his hat and started toward the door. "I shall dine with you at home to night, father," he said, pleasantly. "Oood-bye, sir." "Good-bye, my son," his father re plied, looking up as Le Roy left the room. He looked at the door for some minutes after his son had passed out. "The boy is nil right," he said, half aloud. "It was only a little firmness that ho needed. I have never been quite firm enough." So he turned and went on writing. Le Roy walked down the avenue to Twenty-third street and stood for a few moments in the porch of the Fifth Avenue Hotel. His debts were larger than nsual, nnd two of them were what is called in a certain cirole "debts of honor." They must be paid to-morrow at the latest, and his entire income for several months ahead was long ago consumed. His profession was not yet paying divi dends. He had been three times to his father, and he realized now that he meant to refuse all aid. Suddenly, standing there in the bright winter sunshine, Lt-Roy Leonard grew very pale and started sffgnuy. After that he stared intently at the square opposite for five minutes, nnd then walked hurriedly off down Broad way. "What is this? I have no note of •nch a sum." "It is qnite correct, sir. The amount fs a large one and the check was pre sented by your son. You must recol lect. " The cashier of the down town bank placed in the Hon. Amos Leonard's hands a check for exactly the amount of Le Roy's debts, not a cent more or less. It was signed with the Hon. Amos Leonard's name, in his own peculiar chirographv, but not by his hand. Only he knew that—he nnd one other. "Ah yes! my memory must be fail ing a little, I—yes, of course." Mr. Leonard forced a short, harsh laugh. "I recall it now —yes, yes—perfectly. It is nil right, good day, good day, perfectly indeed." A young clerk, with his slim legs twisted among the rounds of a high stool, watched the stately old man, as he made his way out. When the heavy door swung together, he dipped his pen in the ink again but paused before ho used it, to say with a shrewd, malicious grin: "Guess Bean Brummel Lc Boy might help him to remember it bet ter." "Goon with your books, sir?" The cashier spoke in a quick, stern voice, which admitted of no retort or disobedience. Silence ensued, except for the scratching of the pens. Mr. Leonard's faltering steps carried him homeward unwittingly and he sank into his deep chair before the library lire, conscious of a desire to think it all over nnd a corresponding dread of the same. Perhaps it might not be long before he ceased thinking altogether. He felt that he had grown to be an old, old man in the last few hours. How brightly the fire was burning. The great library looked unusually neat and well appointed. He re membered that it had lately been cleaned aud renovated. He hoped that Harry had mislaid none of his books or papers. Ah ! papers! He must begin to think now about that paper he had seen at the bank. When he had warmed his bloodless hands— well, then he would think about it. Since Le Roy had entered upon his professional career, father and son had rarely met during the day, but they had by mutual, though tacit, agree ment taken up the old habit of dining together almost regularly, notwith standing the demands of society upon the time of each. To-night, Mr. Leonard reasoned, Le Boy would probably not come home. Or perhaps lit! was not aware of the fact that the check had been shown to his father. It would be better to wait iu that case until he did know. It would also offord Mr. Leonard more time to think the matter over. He stepped to a window to lower a shade, where the sun blazed fn too glaringly in its red setting light. Down the avenue he saw Le Roy com ing home. The father stood there watching his son, as he had done a thousand times before. Le Roy had grown into the habit of expecting him there, and now just as he had always done, he snatched off his hat aud waved it boy ishly over his head. The Hon. Amos Lcouurd nodded his white head and then laughed aloud at the mockery of it."He does uot know yet," he mused. "I shall have more time to think." He was waiting in the library when Le Roy came down stairs dressed for dinner. He sat down by his father and read the evening papers until tho meal was announced. Then he arose, and just as he had done ever since he grew to his father's height, offered his strong young arm anil led his father to liis place at the head of the table. The evening dinner had always been a happy one to those two old friends when they dined alone together. So it was to-night. There were no guests. Le Roy's bright talk cheered the lonely home and his father joined in it with more than nsual vivacity. It was no time to think while "the boy" was present. After dinner came a game of chess, and that finished, Le Roy got out his guitar and accompanied his rich, sweet baritone in the ballads his father loved to hear. Usually after this*, Le Roy went out some where. Occasionally tho Hon. Amos Leonard went with him, but to night neither seemed inclined to leave the luxury of home. Not until the great lmll clock chimed the hour of midnight did Le Roy rise and bid good-night to his father in tho old, boyish and unusual, perhaps, but in finitely sweet to the old mini, who had no one else to bid him good-niglit in any way. After that it was too late to think. "To-morrow," said Amos Leonard to himself, "he will know and he will not coiue." "To-morrow" pased slowly and yet the father had not found time nor mind to think. That dull old grief had come upon him again just as it had when he was first left with only Le Roy in the world. Sometimes he seemed to hear the boy's childish prattle, as ho did in the days past, when it was meaningless to him, coming through his mist of sorrow. At five o'clock he rose and stood in the window again, with the western sun blazing in his face. And there, indeed, came his son Le Roy up the street. Off came his luit again ; bob went tlio curly head, and what could his father do but bow and smile as of old? No one outside should know. When Le Roy should come down U> dinner he would speak. ■ Dhiuer was announced, however, before the young man appeared, so it must again be deferred. If Le Roy knew that his father had seen that check he was either a most remarkable actor or a hardened villain. There was in his manner not the slight est trace of nervousness or fear. If any change could be discerned it was a slight increase of the respect and tenderness in his manner toward his father, which had withstood all indul gence. As they passed into the library after dinner, Le Roy remained standing at the table when his father was seated. "I am going to the opera to-niglit with Mrs. Van Cruger's party," he said ; "but before Igo I want to say to you, sir, that I have been thinking things over for the past tew days and I begin to realize a little of what you have done for me. I have never been appreciative nor grateful, I know, and a great deal of it all has been thrown away, but whatever I can do now to make up for it I shall try to do faith fully, and—honestly. Good night, sir." And leaning down he put his arms around his father's neck—as he had done years ago —and kissed the glow ing, grand old face with now reverence and solemnity. It was the only reference either man every made to this one dishonesty in Le Rov Leonard's brilliant and honor able career.—Elmira (N. Y.) Argosy. Bell Founding. The art of bell founding is undoubt edly of great antiquity. The Saxons are known to have used bells in their churches, although probably but small ones, for the Venerable Bede, writing at the end of the Seventh Century, al ludes to them in terms which seem to show that they were not unfamiliar things. The towers of the Saxon period have belfries of considerable dimen sions, in most cases; and Bt Crowland Abbey, in South Lincolnshire, there was a fumous peal of seven bells many years before the Norman Conquest. The monks at that time, and for long after, were the chief practitioners of the art of bell founding—which, in deed, is one of the many things those well-abused men have handed down to us. Their bells were rarely without inscriptions, often in very bad Latin, containing perhaps some obscure joke, the point of which is quite lost. More often they were of a religions nature, sometimes, we not unmixed with a dash of superstition, as when the bell declares that its sound drives away the demons of the air who caused pestil ence and famine, lightning and thun derstorms. As a rule, unfortunately, they put no dates ot their bells, a de feet which has been in some measure overcome by the researches of many enthusiastic campanologists, but which j is likely to keep the early history of bells shrouded in darkness for a long I time to come. —Gentleman's Maga zine. The Boys' Festival in Japan. The great event of May, in Japan, is the celebration on the fifth day of the month of the boys' festival. It is called Nobori-no-sekku, festival of llags, or Shoby-no-sekku, festival of reeds. Before the, door of every abode which has been blessed by the birth of boys during the past seven years, rises a tall bamboo pole, from the top of which are Hung to the breeze gigantic carp—koe—made of paper or woven stuffs in brilliant colors, one for every son. This particular fish is chosen for a symbol because it swims stoutly against stream, and even up rapids, leaping cascades to the higher waters. This implies that the boys iu like man ner must be sturdy and indomitable, stemming courageously the stormy currents of life's stream. Flags also are raised before the houses, bearing pictures of the Chinese mythical hero Shoki, as an example of strength aud bravery. Weapons, armor and pic ! tares of heroes and horses are chosen for the decoration of tho tokonoma, the slightly raised platform which is the place of honor in every living room. The flower held in highest favor for this festival is the iris; but a kind of early chrysanthemum, and a particular variety of bamboo, called moso-cliiku, are also used. Bundles of reeds and lungwort are fastened to the projecting roofs of the houses on this day.— Demorest. A Generous C'at. A member of the Zoological Society says:"l once had a cat which always sat up to the dinner table with me, aud had his napkin round his neck and his plate and some fish. He used his paw, of course, but he was very par ticular and behaved with extraordi nary decorum. When he had finished his fish I sometimes gave him a piece of mine. One day he was not to be found when the dinner bell rang, so we began without him. Just as the plates were pnt round puss came rushing upstairs and sprang into his chair, with two mice iu his mouth. Before lie could be stopped he dropped a mouse on his own plate and then one on mine. He had di vided his dinner with me, as I had often divided mine with him."—Lon don Answers. Courteous Itnndits of China. The robbers of China are banded to gether, and form a terrible compact. If a bank in the city wishes to send a large amount of money to Pekin, the banker sends a gift to the chief of the banditti infesting the territory through which the money is about to pass, tell ing him the time the silver will lie sent, and requesting that it be not disturbed. When such a request is made, oc coinpauied by a handsome present, it is usually honored. These banditti are not the only robbers. The Government is engaged in the same business. Taxes nre very high, and every time one comes in contact with the rulers it cotffs something.—Brooklyn Citizen ■ Terms—sl.oo in Advance; 51.25 after Three Month*. HUNTING THE I'OLIiCAT. NOT FASTIDIOUS, BUT PATS BETTEB THAN FARMING. The Kind of Traps Vied-Hls Favorite Haunt the Cemetery—The Skins In Great Demand. FROM the 15th of November till tho ftrst of Mareh, ft good many of the dwellers in the rural districts of Connecticnt, and especially ill the Connecticut River Valley, find profitable employ ment in trapping polecats. The occupation is not a pleasant one for a pesfon whose sense of smell is toned up to the point of fastidiousness, but it pi.? * far better than farming or any other vocation that offers itself to the back-country dweller. The trapper, about the middle of November, sets stone traps and baits them with pieces of fresh meat. A chicken's wing, tho "hind-quarter" of a musk rat, or a piece of fresh rabbit is considered a fetching bait. The trap is a heavy flat stone, supported by notched sticks that are held in place by a spindle, upon the end of which the bait is placed. In attempting to take the meat from the spindle the trap is tripped and the stone falls on the animal. The most favorable localities for setting these traps are under the walls around pasture lots and near ledges and old cellars or chimney stacks. Steel traps are sometimes used. They are placed in burrows; but it is neces sary to carefully eonceal them, or the animal will dig around the trap and escape. When deep snow covers the ground, the skunk remains in its burrow and the trappers are obliged to wait until the ground is bare again before hunt ing the animal. When the polecat is stirring, his favorite stamping ground iB easily found, for the soil will be turned up as if by pigs. The animal roots in the ground for worms and roots of grass and certain shrubs. He is also fond of eggs and chickens, and he makes bad work for the farmer when he manages to get into his chicken house. He seems to hold the flesh of the fowl in a lower estimation than its blood. When a skunk finds himself in a well filled chicken house he proceeds to kill the fowls, and as he does so he drinks their blood, sometimes so gorging him self as to be unable to get away, and he falls into the hands of the person whose property he hns destroyed. In the fall skunk hunting is quite a popular sport among the men and boys of the back-country. The hunt usually takes place on the "young o' the moon." The participants clothe themselves in raiment for which they care but little, and. armed with a stout club or pole, from eight to twelve feet long, they take to the field about'' nine o'clock in the evening. The polecat has an uncanny prefer ence for cemeteries, and, if moving at all, he will be found burrowing around a graveyard oftener than anywhere else. If there is a cemetery within a reasonable distance, the hunter makes it his objective point. When the game is sighted, the liuu ter, moving as stealthily as possible, advances upon it.and if he manages to get within striking distance of it with out haviug been noticed, he stamps on the groudd. The animal, on hearing the sound, immediately faces the enemy. There is a quick blow of the club, carefully aimed, ami the polecat's days are ended. It sometimes happens that the aim of the hunter iB faulty and the animal is not seriously hurt. Then it is that the man takes to his heels and beats an inglorious retreat. From the fatty substance taken from the animal some people try an oil, which they believe possesses wonderful medicinal properties, and it iB freely used by them in severe cases of croup, inflammation of the lungs, and rheu matic affectious. The true value of the animal lies in its pelt, which finds a ready market. The pelts are graded in three classifica tions, viz: Stripe, half stripe, and black. In the majority of skunk pelts there is a white stripe running from the head to the tail. These are classed as striped skins. When the white stripe extends only half way along the back it is a "half stripe" skin. A black pelt has but little white in it, and it brings a much higher price than either of the other classifications. Within the past few years skunk skins have made a wonderful increase in value. Formerly the hides went slowly at ten cents apiece ; but the de mand has grown for them, and a stripe and half stripe pelt now brings the trapper from eighty cents to one dol lar and a black skin goes at one dol ir and a half. The skins are used extensively in the manufacture of fur garments. The monkey skin capeß and muffs that were so popular a year ago were largely made of black skunk skins. Large numbers of them are annually exported to Europe, where they are manufac tured into caps and other articles of wearing apparel. —Scientific American. To Make Cloth Waterproof. Here is a recipe to make ordinary cloth waterproof. In a pail of soft water put half a pound of sugar of lead (the acetate of lead) and half a pound of alum; stir this at intervals until it becomes clear, then pour it off into another pail ami put th« garments therein and let them stand for twenty four hours. Then hang up to dry without wringing. Garments treated thus can be worn in the wildest storm of wind and rain without the wearer getting even damp. The valn-hamm in globules upon the cloth, and cloth that is waterproof is better and more healthy than rubber goods.—New York World. < _ Pierce City, Idaho, now deserted, had inhabitants in yuid day* NO. 34. SONG OF THE FLOWERS. We are coming, we are coming O'er the field and o'er the fen, In the forest, in the Rlen, Where the sunlieanis dance and gleam By the brooklet's silvery stream, O'er the hill and down the river, Where the trembling willows shiver, We are coming, we are coming To thy heart, O, spring, again! We are coming, we are coming Scattering sweetness all the way I Hero a tendril, there a spray, Buds uplifted to the sun, Blossoms opening one by one, Whispering of the dawning golden, Breathing still the mystery olden We are coming, we are coming, Renewing life from out decay! —Eliza A. Fletcher. HUMOR OF THE DAY. Taken from the French—tho Pan ama pilferings. Jagson says it's always foot up or shut up with the ledger.—Ehuira Ga zette. Money talks; but if it speaks the truth, it must plead . guilty to a good many crimes. Boxing the compass is not counted as one of the "spHrs" of a ship.—Bos ton Transcript. You can prove almost anything by statistics, except the truth of tho figures.—Puck. "This is certainly a hand to month existence," remarked the dentist.— Washington Star. How many things there are to laugh at in this world to the girl who lias pretty teeth and dimples.—Texas Sitt ings. The time that most men waste in ex plaining their failures would, if prop erly employed, put them on their feet again.—Puck. Impressionist "Now, candidly, what do you think I ought to get for it?" Critic—"A hiding place."—Kato Field's Washington. "How are you getting on with your bicycle riding, Dick?" Dick—"l speud most of my time getting on."— Chicago Inter-Ocean. It does not follow that a person will become a successfnll fisherman just be cause he has a pull on the lines.— Rochester Democrat. It is the cynical bachelor who thinks that most marriageable young women have graduated from the school of de sign.—Lowell Courier. The long-winded story teller seems to base his claims to reliability on the fact that ho is never short in his ac counts. —Washington Star. One of the latest arrivals ut Jackson Park is an orang-outang from Java, and visitors are cautioned not to mon key with him. —Chicago Tribune. "Why are you so sure that Dempsey doesn't know anything about base ball?" "Jupiter, man ! He's been an umpire for years."—Chicago Inter- Ocean. No machine ever in vented .will begin to stand the wear and tear and abuse t.hat the human stomach will, and still keep working on. —Dansville (N. Y.) Breeze. "I ain't much at the piamiy," said the coal yard employe as he adjusted the weight of a load of coal, "but I'm great at ruunin' the scales. "—Washing ton Star. "And is the air healthy here?" asked a visitor at a mountain resort. "Ex cellent, sir, excellent. One can be come a centenarian here in a little while."—Tid Bits. "I tell you, there's nothing like cool ness in the presence of danger," said Juggins. "No," replied Jagg ius : that's what keeps people from being sun struck. " —Washington Star. "You don't seem to know me," said the ward worker to the "boss," as ho unrolled his petition. "Your face is very familiar," said the "boss," "but I can't place you." —Philadelphia Press, Mary had a little lamb. She gave her head a to** And sent it back because she locket The mint to make the s:iuce. —Washington Star. "What are yon reading?" said one clerk in a broker's office to another. "A work on the theory of money." "That's no good. What we want is tho practice of money." —Washington Star. Cholly—"Do you ever have moments when you feel like doing something absurd?" Myrtylla—"Yes, ' indeed. Why, when yon proposed to me last I felt fop a moment like accepting you." —New York Herald. "Yon should set' Mrs. Bnnkins and her daughter in their new dresses," said the marksman's wife. "They are sights." "I've seen them," replied the opticians'* wife. "I never saw such spectacles."—Washington Star. "There is not much similarity l>e tween our waysof earning n livelihood," said the dentist to the paint manufac turer. "No," admitted the manufac turer, "there is not. 1 grind colors, while you cull grinders."—lndianapolis Journal. The Coroner in Boston is said to be awaiting the suicide of h poet in that city who wrote about clasping "the two tremulous hands" of his lady love, but which the printer made to read "the two tremendous hands." New York World. Mrs. Carper—"Yes, my daughter was crazy to get married and she mar ried a man who hasfail(> <ll ever\ thing he has undertaken." 'Mrs. Pox I whose husband has failed for a million) "Gracious! They must lie .'inmeutely rich."—New York Press. Manager—"Say, Doctor! I sent my leading man around to von to-day. He's complaining of stupor ami all that. What's the matter with him?" Doctor —"His liver refuses to act." Manager —"1 wish he was as -ensiblq as his liver."- —Boston Count!!',
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers