W M. CHENEY, Publisher.
VOL. X.
The recent progress in railroading
shows that the wooden ties must soon give
way to those made of steel.
It is stated that iu Massachusetts, of
the 38,295 partners in eighty-three in
dustries, 1760 are women; of the 45,731
stockholders, 11,752 are women.
Great Britain's new Postmaster-Gen
eral announces there is no hope for the
success of the movement for a penny
postage between English-speaking
peoples.
Emilc Zola, the Frenc'i novelist, who
recently visited Spain, is credited with
saying that he never saw such simplicity
as that which prevails uuder the Govern
ment of Queen Maria Christina and her
young son, Alfonso XIII., even the
French Republic being far more pom
pous.
The progress that the movement for the
higher education of women is making in
America is shown by the statement that
there are 200 students in attendance at
the Harvard Annex this fall. This is a
remarkable showing, for the institution
is only twelve years old. The young
women of the annex receive exactly the
same instruction that is given to the
regular students of Harvard University.
The requirements for admission and the
examinations are identical. The only
difference is that the annex girls receive
on graduation a "degiee certificate" in
place of the college degree which their
brothers get.
Since tho Jlikado of Japan permitted
his subjects to emigaate to other coun
tries, nearly 100,000 of theui have left
their native laud. There are about 20,-
000 of them in Hawaii, and more of them
in Australia. They are to be found in
various countries of the Asiatic conti
nent, and some of them are in Europe.
There are about 2000 of them ia Cali
fornia, and others are constantly arriv
ing there to work in the vineyards. In
the city of New York there may be 200
Japanese, and there are a few of them in
many other American cities. Wherever
thoy go they have tho reputation of be
ing industrious and iuoflensive. Tho
population of Japan is 40,000,000.
Although this has not been a very
profitable year for the Pacific Coast fish
ermen, it is said that 600,000 pounds of
silver salmon have been shipped East.
Of the other varieties perhaps twice the
quantity will be marketed by the end of
the season. There are four species of
this fisb: the "humpback," which are
caught early in the season; the "jack"
and the "silver," which are finest in
flavor, and the "dog" salmon, of a good
quality that runs until late in the year.
The "humpbacks" average five pounds
in ■weight, the "jacks" fifteen, tho
"silvers" six, and the "dog" salmon
twelve pounds. The fishermen receive
about two cents a pound for their catches.
The cost of handling codfish and halibut
is too great to permit the Califorian fisher
men to compete with their Eastern
brethren, although the waters of Puget
Sound are fairly alive with these fish.
The old war horse Cc-manche, that
alone of all the horses and ridera that
followed Custer on the 25th of June,
1876, survived the fight, died recently.
He belonged to Captain Keogh, and like
his rider had a strange history, muses
the Boston Transcript. Captain Keogh
was an Irishman by birth and had served
in the Papal army before he came to this
country. Though like most soldiers he
may have anticipated falling in battle,
and like most men he may have specu
lated as to where and when the end
would come, it is scarcely probable that
Keogh in Ireland or Italy every had a
vision that forewarned him he would die
in a defeat by tho hands of a savage.
Comanche, when the relief column
reached the battlefield, was found cov
ered with wounds and weak from loss of
blood, but he knew the sounds of tho
trumpets, and dragged himself to tho
colors. From that day he was adopted
by the Seventh Cavalry, and -wherever
the regiment has gone, Comanche, rider
less, aud bearing the trappings indicative
of his dead master's rank, has marched
with it, its pensioner. Towards the last,
when he had grown very old, he marched
between two other horses whose riders
directed bis movements by guide reins.
He had known no rider since the mas
sacre. The regard for him manifested
by the rough troopers was a revelation
of the tenderness that may be drawn even
from hearts supposed to have been hard
ened by war and toil.
SULLIVAN REPUBLICAN.
HUNKUM HILU
1 use<l to gaze on Hunkam Hill
And think it v«ry high.
And one of Nature's mighty props
That help uphold the sky.
Ono day I toddled up its side
And stood upon its top.
And then I learned the sky must rest
Upon some other prop.
And there I saw it just beyond.
Another hill much higher,
Its summit mingled with the sky
All fused with sunset fire.
"That hill's a button on the earth,"
Said I to little John.
"The great, sky spreads its buttonhole
And there it hitches on."
One day I climed this other hill,
And found with heavy heart
The button and the buttonhole
Were very far apart.
But there against the crimson West
Another hill was seen,
A mighty spangled cushion where
The big sky loved to lean.
And so I've kept on climbing hills
From busy day today.
But from the topmost peaks I find
The sky is far away.
In spite of many tumbles, still
This sermon I would preach,
Life's greatest fun is grasping for
The things we cannot reach.
—S. W. Foas, in Yankee Blade.
IN A STREET CAR,
BY DOROTHY DASUWOOD.
It was a little girl on a street car go
ing up-towa. She was a pretty child in
a broad brimmed,picturesque hat,loaded
with ostrich plumes. She sat beside her
mother, a sweet-faced woman with kind
ly, patient eyes.
The little one carried a big bunch of
flowers. "It's most as big as a bushel
basket." she said laughingly to her
father, as he bought them down town
for her at the flower show. There were
royal chrysanthemums, reses with fair,
pallid faces, and others burning with
hectic color. There was also tall spikes
of gladiolii,each one as stiff as if it had
swallowed a ramrod, gorgeous dahlias,
in flaunting rosettes of red aud yellow,
and towering above all. a high and
mighty orchid, full of airs, but looking
as much like a vegetable lobster as any
thing else. The child clutched them so
closely that her neat little kia glove was
just ready to split. You see there were
so many of the glorious blossoms, that i
her tiny hand could hardly hold them
all. "I am just thinking, mamma," she
said inn happy little whisper, "how
lovely they will look on the dinner table,
to-night, when papa comes home!"
There was only one vacant seat in tho
car, and that was just beside the little
girl. Pretty soon the conductor rang
up another fare, and a tall,ungainly man
slid into the place. He looked like a
consumptive, and had evidently been
drinking. Only a little, though. Per
haps just enough to brace him up against
some trouble, and make the poor fellow
feel a little bit sociable. His hand
trembled slightly, and he looked kindly
down at the child and her flowers.
"My! sis, ain't them pretty posies?
Why them's just the sort my old grand
mother used to have in her garden,
when I was a little shaver! Them's the
real garden roses. I can tell them by
the smell," he said in a voice that had a
good deal of pathos in it. The man' 6
manner was friendliness itself, aud his
face was as honest as the day is long,
but the timid little one edged along the
seat closer to her mother.
"Say, sis! what'll you take for your
flowers?" he resumed pleasantly: "Come
now! Let's make bargain. How much
for the hull lot? I want to buy 'em.
Here he drew a shining silver half dollar
from his pocket and held it in his ex
tended palm.
The child took no notice of tho coin
but looked appealingly at her mother.
She thought the man a crank and was a
little afraid of him.
"Sho!" he blurted out again, good
naturedly. "Not enough, eh, for that
big posy? Well, I want 'em, and I want
'em bad. So I'll go you a dollar, and
here's the Jdust. You can buy candy
enough with it to last you a month."
Here the little Jgirl became so embar
rassed that her mother felt compelled to
say to her in a sotto voce tone, "Don't
be afraid, dear. Tell the gentleman
that you do not wish to sell your flow
ers."
The man heard and so it was unneces
sary for the child to speak. He raised
his battered hat respectfully and hands
still trembling, ho turned to the child
and continued, "No, sissy, don't be
afenred, I wouldn't harm you or hurt
your feelins for all the gold in America.
I think a heap of little gals like you.
I didn't mean no harm in tryin' to make
a deal with jou for the flowers. I
wanted 'em and I want 'em yet, if you
are willin to sell 'em to me.
The mother smiled pleasantly, the
child dismissed her fears and seeing
that no offence was given, the man con
tinued.
"You see I've got a little niece up
town about as big as you. She looks
like you some, too, only her cheeks ain't
red and plump like yourn, 'cause sho's
always been puny like. But she's smart,
though! Tell you what, she's way up
in 'rithmetic. She can write a letter
same as a parson, and Lord,how that lit
tle one can sing! I got a letter from her
mother 'jes now,and I'm going up there.
The poor little thing has been sick all
her life with hip disease, and now she's
LAPORTE, PA., FRIDAY, JANUARY 8, 1892.
dyin'. Can't live till mornin' nohow,tho
doctor says. She loves flowers and
when I got on the cars and seen
you with that big bunch o' yourn, .1
thought how it might cheer her up a
bit to hold 'em in her poor little thin,
white hand at the last."
The child was crying softly now, the
tears wero falling right into tho faces of
her cherished flowers. Tho mother's
eyes grew brighter than their wont,
while the man wont on, his hands still
trembling.
"Yes, poor littlo Rosy! I took her
and her ma oil in the country, way up
on Long Island, last summer, hoping the
change of air might tone her up a bit.
But it didn't do no good. Theie was just
about enough of her body left to hold
her little soul when we got back, and it
had wore away so thin that you could
almost see through it. I knew sho
couldn't hold on much longer, but it's
awful tough on her ma,though, just the
same."
Here tho poor follow brushed the back
of his hand across his eyes. It shook
terribly.
"Yes, she used to sit up on the pile o'
sweet hay out in the meadow, where sho
could look clean across the Sound onto
the blue hills wey over in Connecticut.
She called it her 'Land of Beulah.' Some
of her Sunday-school lingo, I reckon.
Any way, her little crutches was there
handy, and I would bring her great
loads o' daisies and them yulior things
that smell like pizen. I called 'em
weeds, but she said they wus golden
rods. She'd string the daisies into long
chains, and tie the others up in posies.
She always called me 'Uncle Rod' for
short. My right name is Roderick. But
after that she uever called me anything
but 'Golden Rod,' and I reckon it was
all on account of them flowers. Never
mind, sissy! Don't feel bad. You
needn't sell me your flowers if you den't
want to."
By this time, the little girl was crying
hard. Iler mother's arm held her close,
but with an irresistible impulse she sob
bed out: "Oh, mister 1 I can't sell you
the flower', but I want to give them to
you for little Rosie! Here, take them
all, and, Oh, dear, I hope she won't die!
Can't the doctor do something to make
her get well, mamma?" The child was
fast becoming hysterical. The next cor
ner was their stopping place, and her
mother hurried her off the car.
Just as she was passing out, an old
fellow in the corner seat, stretched forth
his hand and touched the hem of bur
simple, brniva dress. As he did so, he
blew his nose with a great snort on a
big, red bandanna to make believe he
wasn't crying, and then he whispered
softly, under his breath, "God bless the
child!"
But the pathos of this little incident
was to find yet further expression. A
moment later thero was a littlo jolt, tho
quick scream of a child, and the sound
of a man's voice, swearing horribly.
"Look sharp! ye little imp!" ho yelled
as he pulled up his horses with a sudden
jerk. A little child lay close beside tho
track. Its rag of a hat was crushed
upon the rail, and the skirt of its calico
frock had beon cut clean in two, by tho
edge of the heavy wheel. It was a mere
tot this time.
"llebbens and earf," she screamed.
"I'se all runned ober, an' me mudder's
losted!" sho added, with another yell
that might have aroused tho dead. A
policeman came over from the corner to
see what the row was about. The child
was too little to club and so he took her
in his arms and tried to soothe her with
kindly words. A crowd began to
gather and she wailed yet louder still.
"I tells you mo mudder's last an' I'm all
runned oberl I wants me mudder!"
she screamed, with both fists jammed
tightly in her eyes. The tears were
washing white streaks on tho grimmy
little face, and fluffy tendrils of tangled
gold strayed about her temples.
"Well, nevermind! Don'tcry, baby,
but corr.e with me and we'll find your
mother," said the big kind-hearted
policeman, while he tenderly lifted the
weeping child and got on the car. He
took tho seat just vacated by tho little
girl who had carried the (lowers, and
tried to comfort the poor waif by show
ing her the big bras 3 buttons on his coat
and promising to buy her some candies.
But all to no purpose. Her poor little
heart was broken, and she could enly
cry, "I want ray inudder! I want my
mudder!" Everybody thought what a
pretty child sho would be if her faco
weie only clean. Her startled eyes vere
like two big purple pansies ani her hair
the color of a marigold. The man with
the flowers conldn't stand it auy longer.
He had stared hard at an advertisement
on tho opposite side of the car without
blinking to keep the tears back, and ;iow
ho thrust the shining coin into the gr.my
hand of the poor waif.
"Take it, sis, and don't cry," he Slid.
"Tell the copper yer name, aud he'll take
you to yer mar. Poor thing! I reckon
she wants you as bad as you waut her,
and she's cryin' her eyes out about you
this blessid minute. Take the dollar
home to her and tell her to buy ye fome
little shoes. She'll have you back all
safe an' sound. But ray littlo gal's mar,
that I'm takin' these flowers to,"he
added, sadly, as he stopped the car,
"won't have her back again, no nore,
forever."— New York News.
"Do you lcuow Duzenbury?" "Tes."
"Well, he is a cool customer." "Vhat
has he done now?" "He lives in fur
nished npartmcnts, and during the late
cold spell he used tho furnituro cf hU
landlord for fuel."— 2'exas Sifting«.
WISE WORDS.
A bad advocate spoils a good cause.
The poorer a man is the oftcner he
goes to law.
There is nothing so sought and so lit
tle valued as advice.
When a woman hates a man it is a
sign she once loved him.
Suspicion is a canker that corrodes not
only the suspected but the suspicious.
Nature set tho mark of her abhorrence
upon egoism when she created the sexes.
The head is frequently made tho scape
goat of tho heart, and in fact usually suf
fers from its burden.
The uglier a show manager is, the
more he insists upon having his picture
printed on all the bills.
Women will love men they cannot re
spect; but with men their respect must
go far in advance of their affections.
If a man is good it is either because
he has to be or because he enjoys it. No
man was ever good from a sense of duty.
There is one good thing that may bo
said about faults; it is always tho man
you dislike most who has the most of
them.
When a woman cannot reform a man
his salvation is impossible. When she
can not destroy him his destruction is
not possible.
Men make laws for the protection of
the brute creation in order to relieve
themselves of responsibility and toes.
cape the unpleasantness involved in per
sonal action. It is so much easier to
raise the hand and point to a law when
appealed to than to rise bodily and bring
the offender to justice.
Most personal questions are like old
time gho3ts that rise periodically to be
laid again. There seems to be but one
infallible method by which the ghost of
a defunct question can be disposed of
and wafted down the river to its proper
plaeo of retreat; that is, by giving it a
companion on its journey—the soul of
the unfortunate in whose breast the ques
tion was agitated.
Even Corn Husks Arc Valuable.
The fates are combining to make
things pleasanter for the Western far
mer, the latest discovery of value to him
being that the husks of corn will make
excellent paper. Hitherto husks have
not had any commercial value and have
only been eaten by stack under protest
aud during hard spells. Now, however,
the establishment of paper mills in the
West should put a stop to the constant
shipping of paper from tho East,and also
convert a waste article into what manu
facturers would call a "residuary profit,"
such as coke in a gas factory. It is not
many years since old rags were looked
upon as the only possible raw material
for the manufacture of paper, and the
course from cast-oil shoddy to the cov
ering of corncobs has been both steady
and interesting.— St. Louit Globs-Demo
crat.
Cleansing the Pipe Lines.
The cleansing of the pipe lines which
connect Philadelphia and New York
with the oil regions, and of which there
is a strong probability that another will
be constructed between this city aud the
new field in Southwestern Pennsylvania
and West Virginia, is a very ingenious
matter. The crude petroleum, iu pass
ing through the pipes, leaves a waxy de
posit on the sides, which, if allowed to ac
cumulate, would soon fill them and check
the flow of oil. To prevent this a clever
spiral contrivance of knives is forced
through the pipes with the oil from the
pumping station, cutting out the wax
and effectually cleaning the pipe. There
are now about half a dozen pipe lines be
tween the oil fields and tidewater, and
they are kept open in this way.—Phila
delphia Jlecoril.
To Temper a Watch Spring.
The country watchmaker more than
his city conterree is called upon to tem
per a soft spring. This, explains the
llorologieal Review, can be done by pre
paring a lead bath, that is, a quantity of
lead in an iron pot, raising it to such a
heat that the lead is red. Into this plunge
the spring, and keep it in for a sufficient
length of time; then when hot enough
quickly plunge into cold water or lard
oil. It is necessary next so to give it tho
right temper, which is done by dipping
the spring into a small vessel of boiling
linseed oil for a few seconds and thou
into cold oil.
A Rock In Midoccan.
Captain John Richards,of the British
ship Cambrian Monarch, reports having
passed within half a mile of a pinnacle
rock, showing about seven feet above
the water. No soundings were taken
and no discolored water was seen except
close to the rock. The sea was smooth,
and from the topsail yard tho rock ap
peared to be about nine feet in diameter
at the water's edge, but much larger
under the water. Captain Richards says
hs is sure that it was not a floating ob
ject.—Philadelphia llecord.
Slamming the Door on a Prince.
It is related that on one occasion when
Lord Tennyson was at his residence in
the Isle of Wight, tho Prince of Wales
called upon him, and being informed by
the servant that Lord Tennyson would
see no one, the Prince replied: "Oh,
ho will see me, I am the Prince of Wales."
The servant at once remarked: "Got on
with your gammon, I'm not so green as
all that," and shut tho door in His Royal
Highness' face.—London Tit-Bits.
Terms—sl.2s in Advance; $1.50 after Three Months
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
Languinite is a new metal.
Hot water cannot be raised to any con
siderable height by suction.
The Colorado cliff dwellers are said by
scientists to have existed 10,000 years
ago.
A vegetable cartridge shell, which is
entirely consumed in firing, is now com
ing into general use in the French
army.
The skin of a boiled egg when care
fully peeled ami applied when wet to a
boil will draw out the matter and greatly
relieve the soreness.
An Italian scientist has ascertained
that every fifteen grains of dust taken
from the streets of Naples contain from
1,000,000,000 to 5,000,000,000 mi
crobes.
Scientists show that the mosquitoes of
the Arctic region become more and more
numerous the further they are beyond the
northern range of the swallow and the
martin.
A solution called diamond ink has
been invented which enables one to
write upon glass. It is necessary to al
low it to remain upon the glass about
fifteen minutes before wiping off.
By a novel device of reflection on a
screen at their rear, heavy guns can now
be aimed and fired with the greatest ac
curacy without the gunners being ex
posed or even seeing the object to be
fired at.
Pipes of ramie fiber are made avail
able for steam through hardening by
tremendous hydraulic pressure. The
finished pipe is two and a half timcj as
strong as steel, while remaining compar
atively light.
Lisle thread is made of superior cotton
treated in a peculiar manner. The waxy
surface of the cotton fibro is impaired by
carding, but preserved by combing.
The spinning of lisle thread is done un
der moisture, forming a compact and
solid yarn.
Dr. Peter McCahey, of Philadelphia,
has found that by placing a stethoscope
to a person's head he can distinctly hear
the sound of an air-current within, and
by tho character of the sound can tell
whether the person is sane or iusane;
and he positively avers that in the
cranium of a big-headed idiot this wind
current can be distinctly heard loudly
whistling.
An extraordinary result has been ob
tained by some experiments made in
England in signalling with dectric lights
turned vertically to the sky. The light
of the Eddystone lighthouse can be seen
only seventeen and a half miles, and
then on a clear night: but a vertical beam
of light of far less power is visiblo just
twice as far, with a strong chance of its
eurinounting an ordinary fog.
M. Trouve has shown to tho French
Academy of Scicuces the design of a boat
propelled by a sea water battery. The
plates of zinc and copper arc placed un
der the boat like a keel, and the current
drives a motor attached to a large rotary
wheel. Tho plates may be lowered or
raised as required. Thomas Davenport,
a Vermont blacksmith, made a similar
suggestion or design fifty years ago.
M. Guillot, a French chemist, has de
clared that more than five million dol
lars' worth of "whitened" diamonds
have been sold in Berlin alone at thirty
per cent, above their value. He recom
mends diamond merchants to insist,
when purchasing diamonds, on a test
bath of alcohol. That is a solvent of
analine, whbh is the basis of the
process for making diamouds more bril
liant.
The Dojs of War.
Iu France, Italy, Germany and Aus
tria, as well as in Bosnia and Herzegovi
na, the value of war dogs has been ful'y
tested, and the idea, I am told, has an
swered excellently with the oucposts as
well as with the patrol. But to the Ger
man army belongs the merit of having
made use of the dog's sagacity for hu
mane purposes iu times of war, and it is
probable that before long a number of
fresh canine recruits will bo permanently
attached to the German regiments, their
office being to search for the wounded,
says tho Army and Nu.vy Gazette.
The Prussian Jager battalions have al
ready a number of such dogs on trial,
alt of them being thoroughly trained to
seek out wounded soldiers iu tho field.
The experiments so far have been carried
out, my informant says, as follows:
A number of mei hide in a wood, or
behind hedges, lying on the ground face
downward, and with orders not to move.
As soon as the dogs are let loose they
begin the search. When they find ono
of these men they place their lorepaws
upon the prostrate body and begin to
bark, an exercise which is continued
till the bearers appear and carry the man
off, whereupou the dogs start afresh.
Each company of the Lubben Jager has
about twelve of these dogs.
Hunting dogs cannot be relied upon on
account of their love of the chase, and
therefore sheepdogs or Pomeranian spitz
huudc arc chosen for the work.
Shooting; Birds Flying.
In Smith's "History of Kerry,"
published in 1754, is found the
statement that the art of shoot
ing birds flying w'as taught to
the Irish people by the French
refugees who came over after the revo
cation of the Edict of Nantes, and that
to this circumstance is due the decline
and disappearance of falconry.— Notct
and Queries.
NO. 13.
SUNBEAMS.
Tn ripples of-gold, o'er vale and hQ],
They gleam at dawn of day;
With glory the woodland nooks they fill.
And o'er the brooklets play.
They dance o'er the meadows, daisy clad,
And scatter the mists afar; .
The birds sing a welcome, sweet and glad.
Wherever the sunbeams are.
They wander where towers the palaoe grand,
They peep in the cottage door;
They brighten the heart, as a fairy wand.
And joy and hope restore.
They follow the rain, and calm the strife,
Wherever their kisses fall;
Ah! sweet is the zest they give to life
And the lonely hearts of all!
Oh, keep them forever in thy heart.
The sunbeams that fall each day 1
And make them of life the better part
Wherever thy feet shall stray!
Give thanks to the Giver evermore, ~
Till the pleasant journey's end,
For the sunbeams He ever keeps in store
And to all below doth sand! 1
—John Keynton.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
It never does any good to air opinions
that need fumigation.— Elmira Gazette.
Wise medical men do not treat som
nambulism as a pillow case.—BostonCour
ier.
Banks of clouds are often broken by
heavy drafts of wind. — ■Baltimore Ameri
can.
The hotter peoplo feel toward each
other the cooler they act.— Atchison
Globe.
It was the reporter who attended an
execution who went out with the tied.—
Boston Transcript.
A man's declining years begin at fifty;
a woman's begiu from lifteeu to eigh
teen.—Atchison Globe.
An owl is regarded as an embodiment
of wisdom because he knows how to keep
dark.— Galveston News.
Willie—"Pa, what's a rhinestone?"
Father—"A glass instrument used to skin
suckers."— Jewelers' Weekly.
It doesn't seem to require any pre
monitory training to know how to make
an assignment.— Boston Courier.
There are so many teachers of music,
one would think music ought to be quite
well informed now.— Pittsburg Chronicle.
Not a few people seem to think the
keeping of an appoiuttnent a matter of
no particular moaient — Detroit Fret
Press.
Reading maketh a man full—that is,
it fills his mind with words that he does
not know how to pronounce.—lndianap
olis Journal.
How fortunate for us that the Indian,
when he disappeared from New England,
forgot to take his summer with himl—
Lowell Courier.
Never speak ill of anybody; you can
do just as much execution with a shiug
of the shoulders or a significant look.—
Milwaukee Sentinel.
North Side Mother—"Oscar, why
can't you be a good boy?" Wayward
Four-year-old—-"Mamma, it makes mc
so tired."— Chicago Tribune.
Leary—"Still waiting for your ship to
come in, eh?" Weary—"Oh, they've
come. Whole fleet of 'em. All hard
ships."—lndianapolis Journal.
I do not love my fellow man,
By no means as I ou?ht'er.
But great Jemima Goose-grease Jane,
How I do love his daughter!
—Detroit Free Press.
"Do you think those shoes arj worth
mending?" "Veil, yes, if I sole and heel
tem and put new uppers on tern. The
strings arc still goot."— Leather Dealer.
"Did you steal my scales?" demanded
the excited grocer. "By no means," re
sponded the suspected; "I merely made
a weigh with them."— Baltimore Ameri
can.
Lace (enviously")—"l see you are to be
in general use this season." Jet (com
placently)—" Yes, lam among the glit
tering generalities of society."—Balti
more American.
"Why isn't Pauline married?" asked
the family friend. "She's surely old
enough." "Yes," answered the loving
mother, "but, you see, I'm too young
just yet myself."— Vliegende Blaetter.
"This tipping business is getting be
yond all proportions," grumbled De Pey
ster. "Why, I cannot even get my hat to
convey my respects to a lady on the street
unless I tip it."— Baltimore American.
"Aren't you afraid that you are living
too well for your health," asked the
chicken. "I ain't in this for my health,"
answered the turkey, between pecks. "I
am out for the stuff, so to speak."—
Indianapolis Journal.
The jury brought in a verdict of "not
guilty." Judge Duffy said admomshing
ly to the prisoner: "After this you ought
to keep away from bad company." "Yes,
your honor, you will not see me here
again in a hurry."— Texas Sif tings.
Chambermaid (lately from the coun
try, now in a city situation) —"I want
the Forget Me Not Waltzes." Music
Dealer—"For four hands?" "Four
bauds! Of course not. Do you think
my mistress is a monkey."— Fliegend*
Blaetter.
Wool—"A friend of mine recently
wrote a poem for a magazine with one
hand and thumped the piano with the
other, to amuse the baby." Van Pelt—
"What was the poem about?" Wool—
"Nothing; didn't I say it was for a
magazine?"— New York Sun,