and Buffets. Most complete in the Val-| GRAF Pema bie sod made paring 44 second-class mpptor Ady Ta] hr Em a —— SATURDAY DECEMBER 1, 1008 * Tooking for Trouble She— Where will we stop for dinper, dear, if we go of ln the automobile? He—Ob, we bad better take our din per along, and we'll eat wherever we Bappen to stop. —Y onkers Statesman Qebhart—I suppose he is breathless iy awaiting the possible outcome of that will-contest? + Carsone—More likely breathlessly awaiting the possible igrome —Judge His Lat Words A git! in an automoblie Ran down an old man with a squlle; When they picked up the pleces He sald: “Excuse mieces You don't know how funny I Houston Post file ! “That's rather a got, isn't 11? jong nose you've Have you never noticed “Yes; but I generally overlook it" manage Ww Dead Eggs. Yeast—Did you ever eggs? Crimsonbeak—No, I never 41d; but I've tried ‘em after they were dead — Yonkers Statesman An Evidence of Disregard. “He seems to be very fond of mus fo,” sald an auditor. “He isn’t,” answered Miss Cayenne, #or be wouldn't try to sing '—Wash- fngion Star. try to dye He Knew. ,Teacher—How many eggs are there in a dozen? Grocer's Boy—Five goed ones, five fair ones and two bad ones. —Cleveland Leader, Chronic with Him. Attorney for the Defense—Have you ever been cross-examined before? The Witness—Have 1? I'm a mar ried man —Life, ————h in Peace, as It Were. A London doctor says every man should have a silent hour at home each day. There are men who will Jean to the epinfon that it would be easier to have their silent hours away from home. By Tunnel to ireland. Although little is sald nowadays of os tugnel under the Irfsh sea, yet it is pot Impossible that at some future date this project, which has been so much canvassed, will yet assume tang: & CO. LINGERIE, IN SUITCASE Youths Play Joke on Bride's Sister, Just Back From Wedding Norristown, Pa—"Ugh' and other men's clothing'” exclaimed pretty Lililan Hergey of Bridgeport, as she opened what she supposed was her own suit case to take oul some wedding cake, lingerie, els upon re turging from her sisters wedding at leading Thereby hangs an mnteresting story, which was brought out at a county commissioners’ meeling A sult case containing wedding woman's finery, etc, had been trousers, Webster, watchman on the bridge between here and Bridgeport ‘t Found Trousers and Things.” He explained that ited in it had been depos hox while Int « Cast s ie the his watch he was and he coule in the suil mimis siond pened it, however, was a lel addressed to M I.litian He Hridgeport, Pa, and, complying official absent meeive why ter a with instructions, the commizslon- k called up Bridgeport by phone and finally got Miss Hergey at the He vxplatned the and the letter ers clot wire sit case whereupon the end of the sweet voice at the other wire id I had just retu where | attended sister 1 set ing for a trolley ca \ home | opened the grip wedding cake ned from Reading the wedding of my down my grip while walt pon my arrival the ives, when to share with my relat 10! 1 found trousers and things | hastened back to the station and found a young man tearing his halr out by the grip 1 had 1 had become so 1 turned it over to him proved his p roots searching for the very ick of when he but 1 was unable the railroad had operty to lind moins I notified authorities apd they have | ruess upon furl detec tives on the case It has transpired her In vestigation that ml eye2 and a had substituted fem moving bovs for the belongings at the the probally chievous with far-seeing cent the grotesque male fo ve stallion the the latte to watchman box They are langhing yet Girl Spends Night in Ice Box. New York — While police men hunted high and low ull or her old Hele Imprisoned In an box in the cellar of hei Freeman She Hbherated next day by her father, Patrick Cobb He feared she hind been abducted. Cobb ig a widower Helen kept house and looked after thred children Wednesday night he sent lielen to a store with three cen's to buy kerosene and she stopped to play and lost the money Afraid to go home, she said she had crept into the cellar and then into the ice box and closed the when she heard her father call her I'he door had a spring lock and closed her in Cobh hecame alarmed toward nildnight and reported Helen's disappearance to Captain Mc Glynn Then he and policemen searched for his daughter. He made several trips to the cellar of his home ile did not but continued night fo 12-year a Cobb lay ice home on street was and smaller ” r grocery door bat in vain yesterday and called go lp work the faint response lo to the KK noan he call » box and near got a and traced search his the vole The Editor's Apology. As usual our printer left us in the ‘soupe” last and this week, and we bave not as yet been able to secure the services of another; and there fore we ask the indulgence of our readers for the scarcity of reading matter this week We have been conducting a sale by auction, and bad but a few spare hours left in which to get out this sheet. We hope, how: ever, to do better next week —Wash- ington (N. C) County Times. By KENNETT HARRIS The freckled boy with the large bump on his forehead wriggled iu the cluteh of the large woman who wore the black straw hat trimmed with brown velvet and Concord grapes Taint nothin he sald “The skin ain't skassly peeled You pore Soung exclaimed the woman in horrorstricken tones How in the name o massy did yom come to do that’ Does it hurt you Johnny? *Naw,” replied the freckied boy contemptuously Ain't nothin’ to hurt You might git blood plzen in it, sald the woman Here, lot me put this yer hankchief around it to keep the cold out My land! What mis chief boys does’ The freckled boy broke away from her and hurried through the The large woman waddled after him, anxiety written in capital letters on her kindly face one 3" store slowly As she passed out of the store Par sons broke into a smothered guffaw and the ilttie tailor winked at Wash ington lancock She's all right sald Some women is jest nachelly way She's a going overs y's pow to tr) conniption fit, but she Berry's got too many of easy. Johnny's little through the swing de hay mow last summer, an’ went kitin’ end over-end 18 foot to the ground, an’ lit settin His mother seen him from the porch, where she wus a-washin’, but she didn't let on. 80's youd notice it. In about a minit the young one picked hissell up an’ begun to cry You Beemis' hollers Mi Berry You quit that bawlin right away, you hear me” If vou git cuttin’ up them didoes ag’in I'll take a switch to you an’ frall you outen your hide. Some o these days you'l git hurted, mark my words, actin’ like that. Go up an pull them doors shet That'll do to tell keeper Hancock that to Mis" Der her Into a won't, Miss em lo scare brother busted {0 Scare wors ia the sald the store If ‘twarn't so 1 wouldn't tell It sald Hancock with a virtuous expres sion She ain't lke Milt woman You know Milt Soi? Baker shook his head It was over on Gooseneck,” supple mented Hancock Rufe knows him If you don’t. Mighty poor stick Milt Is, too, but his wife seems to think he's about all right. Milt's wife jest natch. elly wus that there kind 0 woman- jest like Mrs Berry ain't. She'd allus go about pityin’ everybody an’ every- thin’, but with Milt she wus more so If Milt come in from the field an’ sald he wus plum tuckered out she'd fly around lke a hen a hot griddle bring him a rockin’ cheer out on the porch Why, Milt man' It makes me feel think o vou workin’ the Sho' You jest look it, too a piller fer hald that One time when they wus a-thrash fn’ Milt pushed a bundle too clost to Cicero Perkins, who wus cuttin’ he got one of his fingers cut much. bot if vou could have the fuss his wife made you'd thought his head was cut off she'd got his Anger still keep a-pityln’ him an askin’ him if it didn't hurt him Ain't that too ‘Jest to think o that. a way! wust Juck of you shorely Sowash's don't you on to an it wus you pore eal bad to way you do git sech as Let me your an an’ Twan't heerd have After tied up even she'd bad’ you bein she'd carved up You shorely do have the any n knew, do! Milt if 1 can't do suthin to you sufferin standin around an’ holdin’ my hands My' It must hurt you powerful bad! A ter of an inch more cut say in | ever honey fer tell me you 1 hate EUs an’ me quar an’ It would have to the nothin Hikedd it you clear bone there of it! "pur ued Han fussin an you set makin Milt Kind o cock He'd but kind © He tell her to quit hie liked It all the does os = keeper SA vel he get It asked the store I hain't far five cock be'en up Gooseneck way replied Han There YEArs Or more Mebbe he gilts it time though, when she welghed in the balance an’ found | in’. That wus one day when the Jack an' Drovers’ bank falled an’ Mi't lost $230 Le had in It an’ as he come back from town his horses got to act in’ up an’ fin’ly run away an’ busted up the wagon an Milt out an’ put his ankle Jjint an’ fin’ missed the aver Gooseneck crick an drowned theirseives He wus settin’ by the the rcad when his bired man come along ridin’ lickety split to find him an’ tell him that the barn had burned down while he wus tryin’ to doctor the Hereford bull what had got into the corn an foundered hisself The hired went to a neighbor's an’ got home an’ his wife met him at gate.” was one wus “rs threw out of Lridge side o man Milt the Foo much fer her to Jo jestice to, | a'poge?’ ventured Baker Well, ehe done her Hancock That wus about three o'clock In the afternoon an’ she kep it up stiddy till after the doctor come at eight. Then she into the kitchen to git some water het up When she come back started bathin’ Milt's ankle didn't say nothin’ That best,” sald went she agin an for a minit or two By gol, Hetty!" he you reelize all what's happened? | sh'd think you'd say suthin’ to show you're a leetle mite sorry ' “—Chlcago Daily News South African Winter Resort. The popularity of Victoria [falls hodesia, as 3 winter resort for Eng- says. ‘Don't FRANK BE. WOOD, Representative News and advertising matter may be left at Gregg's Racket Store, Waverly. After 11 o'clock noon call the main office at Sayre, Valley ‘phone 128X. Xmas post cards at Stroeg's. John J. Higgins is on a business trip to Williamsport. Leather skins $1.50 at Strong's Miss Margaret Ross is home from Binghamton and will remain over Sunday. Post card albums Strong's. 5c np at 173s2t Theodore Weeks returned from Watkins yesterday, where he went to spend Thanksgiving. We tinsel your name on post card while you wait at Strong's. 2! George Scureman returned from Wilkes-Barre last evening, where he went to spend Thanksgiving. George Campbell spent the past two days in Waverly and has re- turped to his farm near Greens Landing. H. J Baldwin and wife’have re turned home after a three weeks trip to Baltimore, Washington, Philadelphia and Mew York city. Claud Kline has returned to Dunkirk after spending the past few days with his family in this village. Hes the agent of the N. P. L at Dunkirk. Yesterday afternoon a horse fell down on the incline on Fulton street, the wheel of the wagon ran upon the animal's tail, and most of it was pulled out. Minard Hoyt is spending a few days at his home in Waverly. He is lecated at East Brady, Pa, and is employed as a mail agent bes tween that point and Pittsburg. A party of young people wen! on a straw ride to Milan last even- ing, and on their retusn they went to the East Waverly hose house, where they had a very crjoyable social time, Er — A, Simen Zausmer is buildin? a rcom in the rear of his store and will use it for a phonograph room It will be entirely erclosed so that the music of the instruments will not be heard the main store room. in A Mr.and Mrs. E. B. Wamer Misses Ida Trescott, Kittie Wars ner and Olive Warner and H. C Waid of Elmira; and Archie Wemple of Buffalo, speat-Thanks- giving at the home of Roy Waid at Ne, 6 Orchard street. — pees. MISSION STUDY CLASS Waverly—The mission study class will meet with Mrs. James L Angell 414 Chemung street Friday Dec. 7, at 3 p.m. Hawaii will be the subject. All who are interested are invited to attend. The follow- ing program has been arranged Map Talk Mrs Angell ; My Tiip to an Island Paradise Mrs Sebring. The Hawaiian Islands in 1819 Mrs Tozer. Fifty Years After Mrs. Sawyer. Duet Mrs. Ingham and Mrs Berry The Leper Colony at Molokai Mrs. Gore. Transformation from an Eastern Monarchy to an American State Mrs. Ingham. PAID BS FINE Waverly—William Maylon, the yquog man whe was arrested for an assau't on another young man named Hyde plead guilty to the charge and paid a fine of $5 yes- terday afternoon, He at first re- fused to plead guilty, and said that Waverly—If you have a dog’ and have not fully obeyed the law in regard to their care and the safeguards that are provided, you bad better wat:h out or the dog catcher will get the pup and lock him in the pound, Then you will have to hand over the prescri‘ed amount of shekels to again get him into your possession, others wise he will be killed. The imple- ments for the capture of such dogs as are running at large have been in the town hall for some time, and this morniag two men took them and started out to de~ plete that portion of the canine trite that is now running at large, many of which could be spared No captures have yct been res ported but there were several lively foot races between the man with the net acd the liberty loving mongrel. PLEASANTLY SURPRISED Waverly—Chas. Collins a ma- rine on the Uaited States battleship Alabama who is spending ten days at the home of his parents on Che mung St, was pleasantly surprised by a number of Lis friends last evening. The evening was spent in games, music and other amuses ments, After a few hours erjoy~ ment the guests were ushered into the dining room where a bountes ous supper was served. The guests were the Misses Laura Stevens, Bertha Hess, Susan Squires, Helen Dillon, Edna Cols lias, Ona Fairbanks, and Messrs Clarence Langeland, Lester Munie Larrca Degroffand Percy Allinger. GAVE A DEMONSTRATION Itis said that two well known base ball players went to the Le- high station on Thursday night and beautifully trimmed a couple of express messengers. The assault is said to have beea made without provocatien, and that the base ball artists simply waaled to demonstrate their ability as «x ponents of the pugilistic art. No arrests will follow, but it said that the messengers were most liberally decorated with discolored optics, and that the ermice fl:w in all directions. LOCAL NEWS A series of revivals are being held at the Methodist church. All arc invited to attend. Regular services will be held at the Baptist church tomorrow morn ing aad the Lord's supper will be administered at the close of the evening service. H. R Talmadge is to deliver pessessicn of his plumbing estab lishment to the Elmira Shirt Man- ufacturing company today. The carpenters have begun erecting th: frame work for the new building on Lockhart street. PLEASANTLY ENTERTAINED Mrs. Arthur Merrill of 97 Che- mung street, entertained a few guests of Waverly and Sayre in honor of Mrs. Halbert of Palmyra, and Mr. and Mrs. Fred Gifford of Santa Barbara, Cal. Music and|¢ games were played and light re- freshments were served All en- joyed a very pleasant evening. William's Carbolic Salve With Amica and Witch Hazel The best Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Uloers, Salt Rheum, Tet- ter, Chapped Hands and all skin erup- tions. It is guaranteed to give satisfac- tion, or ope] Nefuniied. ioe 26c by dro illiams MES Sh Supe. Cleveland, O. Sold by CU, druggist. 15 Exposure Brings on Rhesmatan Painful in its mildest form, becoming an agony or torture lected. When feel the ers in the musoles, the firstalight stiffaces in the joints take Bloodline, It acts Im- mediately on the Blood and NorTw, aud will positively cure Rheumatism, ever severe, Bold by C. M. Driggs, Bayre. Piles! Piles! Piles! Williams’ Indian Pile Olatment Ulosrated and language used by the young man whom he assaulted, He concluds ed later, however, that the lans not a justi and JUSTICE OF THE PEACE OFFICE ROOM 8, M. P. A. BUILDING. Telephone ;246y. 4 id - ed Ma ai a WA FREACH FEMALE PILL Sg} - A Rar, Tastes Reuer Be forrmees Npereanw FEVER EN Engws 11 Te Jai. Bak | Fare! Boweds | Sails wes GO Bouer Eo fended Seat preyatd ay wo 1 send thet on rind be be paid for whos relieved Rampies Fe 1 pout drags dees bet Sars idem send your ovdess is ia UNITED MEDICAL CO. , nos 74, LancasTin, Pa A. Atkins, Over Raymond & Haupt's Confec- tionery Store, Lockhart St. Sold in Sayre by the West Sayre Pharmacel Go. ELEER A. WILBER, Wholesaler of Wines, Beer snd Ales. H. H. Mercereau, Attorney-at-Law Hotary Public Speetal athention to Pension Papers, Valley Phone 11 X, 1 Desmond Breet Fayre Mandolin Teacher’ Will be in Sayre on Baturday, each week, which time 1 will devote tothe instruction of pupils on tbe mandolin. Studio: Room 2, Richard block, over postofice. For ferther particulars ad dress, Edwin F. Loomis, Athens, Pa. r——————EIEEEE OUR BPECIALYIES LEKIGH CLLB WHISKEY, DOTTEE. WEICH BEER AND ALES, NOZ- WICH ERTWING (0S. ALES. tog Facker Avenue, BAYRE, PA. 20TH PHONES, LEHIGH GOAL SCRANTON. The Cheapest ad the Best. Do not pay other dealers more than I charge you. Compare quality, quan- tity and price. COLEMAN HASSLER, No. 116 Erie Strect, Both Phones. Sayre, Pa. Maynard, Maynard & Schrier Attorneys and Counselors. M. PA. Block, Fayre, Pe. pard Block, Athens, Ps. There is no nook nor cor- ner where The Valley Rec- ord does not circulate DR. A. 6. REES, M.D. 111 Miller Street, yi 9 OFFICE HOURS: 19 8 to 11:00 a. m., 3 to 4:30, 7:00 bo 5:00, and chronie diseases » Goin BH I.E BAKER Carpenter and Builder. Waverly, K. XY. TOUHEY'S HOTEL Wveryibing New and Up-to-Date. Flrel Assvmodations. Tomas Ave, Opposite L. V, Station. Tatss $1.50 Per Dav. Save. A.J. GREEN CONTRACTOR AND BUALDER. Flac) ezd Estimates Furnished $15 Stevenson Bi, Valley Phone lly R. H. DRISLANE, Contractor and Bullder Plans and Estimates Furnished 210 Millar BL Sayre. Pa 17 Pleasant Bt. May- Bloodine Liver Pills. Cure shronic Constipatien. 25¢c a Box. Sold by C. M. Driggs, Sayre III SESS Cards For Sale. Tho Valley Record has in shoek [ibe t-llowing card signs: For Rent For Sale Private Ooe Please Do Not Ask for Credit Positively No Admittance Furnished Rooms] Tharding LEIGH VALLEY R. R. {Io effect Nov. 15, 1.0%) Tralee leave Bayre as follows MASTBOUND. Dally for Towesda, Tusk | 3) a Wilkes Barre, Mauck . a Allestown, Dethichem, New York, Philadel la, Baitlmere snd Washington A.M a y for Towanda, Tuulkhan- h! nock, Pittston, Wilkes-Barre, Mauch . Chunch, Allentows, Bethlehem, New otk and Philadelphia Read The Record, WANT ADS Rates :— Wanted, Lost, Found, Bale, eto., § cent a _— each insertion for first three times, } cent a word each Insertion thereafter. None taken for wanted, AM. (Wav) 63 oA. M.) Week dan er, Towanda, Mop 1p, f Athens, U b:d5 La Albasy, DuaSors. Salter. using, Lacey ville, a eu and WIE éo-Barre AM. (Waverly 833 A. M.) Dally for Towanda, Tuokhsanock, Pitision 0. Wilkes Darre, White Haves, Fenn Hav usctiom, Meuch Chunk Allentown, Betk- bem, New York, Phi adeiphia, Baltimore and Waskisgioe 10: 00: M. S344ay ont only, lot Alien Milan Sister. To alasing, lacey ville, Meshoppen ohio Th at Las he re ER allentown, hho, New York, Pot’. ky Baltimore asd W IR, Eo REE for ‘owands, Tunkhammock, Wilkes Barre, Mauch Chunk, Allen: town, Bethlehem, New: tizsore and Washingtlon. York, Philadelphis, Ba! P.M. (Waverly 44 M.) Week oh ° only for Athens U ar. Towsads, M Dusbors., Batter roeton, New Albany, fa, Hails, Wi ville, Tunkhannock, Ptitston and Wil Barre WEATBOUND, ri Thy for Geneve, Buffalo, na l: hg i= Lala and potats west Festus, hanes, Sounye, A.M. Dally f= Oenevs, Rochesiar 3:50 elenla, Batavia, Buffalo. Comnach’ 3 . Misgers Falls and Toroal b Is A.M. Dally for ls aos Vas Rites % [E=R I¥Saca, Tremassbarg Haytr 1 for forties Recut ‘days only SN MM. Week days or for Lockwood, Ithaca, Trumans ore. Haris Cor 3: 10: Ferien (Waikias) valols, ata, Loa, atten. ra 4 ih a Trumansberg i} 's Corners, Geneva, Rochester, 18% Baifalo, Cleveland, Detroit, aad Connects for Auburn week days only, en, Genein. Roches Ts | a i i Pal a Niagara Pallas, Detroit and Chi 7: ei Dully, Bes Pace Diamond Rxpress, b: {5 Rochester, Buffalo, Klagars Valls, i Detreit, Chlcage, Bt awan b: EB REE Two crowbars, one about 4 feet and one § feet between Sayre Tioga Point Pinder please leave at this office. Suitable reward. For Sale. For sale or rent a good equl laach wagon. Call or address HOR ors street, Athens, Pa, 174-8¢ Heating stove 408 Keystone Guaranteed first class, " ah Do a of gon M. Thompson, 200 Pa. For 08 168 51 o8 at once, several houses and suites good location: Without bath; $660 and or quire of C, C. West, Sayre. net Re I as Mile, , Pree:
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers