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!E XVII.- -NUMBER 22. It
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:6AItNEV, Sec' y.
M. W. McAl
JblIN S. MANN,
ATTORNEY 1.1- ND COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
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ARTHUR G. OLMSTED,
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respectfelly informs the citizens of tho vil
lrige and vicinity that he will, promply re
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'5 °nice on Main st.. in building formerly oc•
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ji t C. S. & E. A. JONES,
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Coudersport, Nov. 27, 1861.
P. F. GLASSMIRE, Proprietor, Corner o-
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s --- ..1 N.,.. ' , , , ~ „_._ _-
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THE INTELLECTUAL, Wil
'!Alec l Alec, dear, could you attei t
me !vine minute, if you please ?"
Such a sdft pleading little voice it, was
~ 1 , -,
7 .-such a pretty, half timid loo ki ng woman
as owned itl sitting there in her crimson
merino dress with la great workbasket
ddershadowing it, like the type of some,
hUge 'Juggernaut 11 There was not a
wrinkle in her linen cellar, not a speck 1
on her white brillitzt to aprqn,while every
thread in her hair la smooth apirshining
as if itWere glistening satin , instead of
human tresses. 1
Mr. Verdon laid 1 -
"What do you w
It is a little singula
five 1 consecutive m
this house, ,isn't it ?,
noisy childreuget o
one's braini,!"' f
1 "I am Sorry to
• said the rduch en(
only want to know'
prefer your' new shb
for studs r'
I "Studs ,an di
1 jtirerdon, ratherlmela
my, word, Catherine
mind revokes on no's
than around of till
"Well I want to
that they,ll please
"As if I cared
"But yon were
dear, because I mad
last , set after an old
"Of course I ilas
Ito go about lookingl
1, '-No, dear, f ; but - 7
I "But, My dear q
dedly anuoyed to s
mere domestic drill
"I don't;, understil
a wife and roother
first aim to study t.
bws(' and family."
1 "To a certain e
Ito a certain eaten
'title. But when I
, your opinion . of --'
other evening, you
by ;confessing you 1
iL di,gnant!" I 1
1 "But Alec,w'
"Time ! time l ; y'on must make .time,
i child !' Let the domestic cares be seem.
Ida& to the cultiation of your intellect
' oaf nature. Whl,ll cannot dehribe to
you, my dear,.how deeply mortified I was
at. Mrs. Leson's cionversation, when every
on was discussieg pie new lirerary con
; stelations, by your confused silence.—
W I ile Mrs. Ogilie--why, she was ;posi
tively sparkling in! her ready argument
, • - - ' , ~
no charming grate= taste. - 1
'Yes, " retorted 1 Catherine Iterdon,
stung at last into something like retalia
tiop, "and Mr. Ogilvie was there with a
.ragged shirt bosom land the lower button
gone frotn ibis dress; coat:"
As Iremarked before, my dear,l but
tons and shirts are net primary conaider
atiens." u - ;
'And,' Itent on Catherine, "the 4 , .:.e45..
maker says that Mr.?. Ogilvie has no niore
idea of hoUs'pkeeping than a kitten. ugh.
coffee, she says—"
1 ,A.11 dresSmaker's tattle I" interrupted
mr. Verdoril, with a lofty flourish of his
left arm. I 'II shouldn't care what kind of
coffee I drank if I had a wife like Iraqi
Ogilvie I" 1 I
Catherine flushed to her very forehead,
bat she bit her lit ' resolute self-control.
4, 1 want very much to please, you,
Alio," said she meekly. , 417111 yen tell
me how to be intellectual ?"
• Mr. Alexander Verdon palled his
moustachb in rather a puzzled manner.
"Iyhy—Why, my dear, you must read all
the new works, to begin with, and keep
with the general newspaper current
—and take a critical survey of paintings
and statues and—and' all of that sort of
thing, yon know. 7
"Yes, but, Alee—F"
"Now, Cathie, E really wish you would
lei me read a little in peace. I get so
little time to cultivate my mind !" Mr's.
Vernon sighed softly to herself as she cnt
the, button holes clown,,the front of Mr.
Alexander's new shirk . .
saY,I Cathie I' I
Mr. VSrdon rushed tumultuously into
the room where Cathie was sitting, the
midst of a pile of books, deep in some late
publicatiOn, with his matutinal toilet but
half comPle.ted, and a pair of suspenders
floating wildly ;in the air, like the reins
of a runnivay horse.
a ,Well, l Alex4ider ?' I
liWhere are iny newshirtsl? I've torn
tho . last ;respectable ono of the old set
I ha* way, across the
They ;aren't finished, dear -
‘.Not nnished, Mrs. Verdon
INQ, !)Itt don't intercept me ; Alec.l
sown his book with
ant 91070, Catharine ?
;that a than can't get
notes of reading in
No sooner do those
to bed than a dozen
start up to distract
disturb you, Alec,"
wring. wife; "but I
whether you would
is made with buttons
ttens 1" groaned Mr.
i i ' -dramatically. "Upon
it seems as if your
hang more important
make these shirts so
how you make my
cry much displeased,
the collard to your
I A man don't want
like Mgtiluselah !"
atbarine, I am I deci
, o you sinking into a
nd you, Alec. Surely,l
should make it her :
e comfort of her hus-
tent, Mrs. Verdon--
, this may be !pate
Mr. Peterson asked
' 's last work, the
ad not read it. I was
at time do I get to
to ito Tiiiloipias: of Ivtio gictooolley, qp6 V,sschflintioil of Vol fitg, lA,
01114051*1001111:11M'alltifilkin 4 40:1:Viiiiiof4IMAND - ,4v o oo:)ai
What's the nee of a woman's trying to
be intellectual, when you are running in
and out with perpetual questicfns about
shaving soap and stockings and shirts 1
Madame de Steel nhver had her mind
disturbed about shirts, I am sure.'
'Buti what is a fellow to do, with his
shirt split across the back 7'
'Ati-i—what indeed?' mused Cathie,
in a voice so plainly indicative that her
mind was far away in some metaphpsical
region !that Alexander gathered np his
suspenders 'and retreated in dumb des.
'Holes in my stockings big enough to
jump through, and the cologne bottle not
replentshed. And I've cut my nose
shaving, and no Cathie here to put on a
sticking plaster. But then I. do really
think it would be nice to have my wife
appearlike Lucy Ogilvie. I wonder what
Ogilvie does when he cuts his nose F
Mr. Verdon finished his toilet and went
down town, with this subject of marvel
yet undecided in his mind.
The,city bells Were clanging one on the
same day, when Mr. Verdon ran burridly
up his:doorsteps, and entered his own
domicle by the subtle aid of a convenient
little night key.
'Catherine 1 Wife ! Chathie 1'
But no wife, aproned household fairy
met him on the stairs with gold brown
curls tucked neatly back of her ears, and
bright eyes sparkling welcome. I
She must be down in the kitchen was
his thought as he ran, down three steps
at a time, and presented himself before
the small damsel, of twelve who was the
only domestic that economical Catherine
'Where's your misress, Polly ?,
'Sure, sir, she's gone to see a picture
gallery she torrid me, down town'
'And when is she coming back 1 1 de
manded 1 ).1r. "Vardar, biting his lips with
'She said she mightn't be back before
'Where are the children ?'
'Gone to their Grandma's in Brooklyn,
'And what am I to do for dinner r
'Sure, sir I don't know.'
'Here's a pretty fix grumbled Mr.
Vertlon to himself as ihe stamped des
about the kitchen. 'And I've
asked Howard and Talhoys to dine here
at three. What demon has got into
Cathie ! Why couldn't I have held my
tongue the other night ! I should really
like to know what I'm to do.'
'He tore his hair in dire perplexity.
'What is there in the house for dinner?'
'There is a tongue, sir—and a codfish
and a cabbage, I believe.'
lees on, Polly, and Pit cook 'cm
myself. You can boil a tongue can't you?'
'I wish I
. liad a cook book,' groaned
Mr. Verdon, in great tribulation. 'Any
how, you fry fish- - -and a cabbage is very
good boiled, with butter. Fetch on the
frying pan, Polly, and bring lots of kind
ling. Nila afraid this wash is a little
tough and dry—confoundi the creature,
how it sticks to the pan ! Polly, you set
the table while I strip off all the nice big
cabbage leaves—these little ;sprouts are
of no use down in the middle. tend
to the baker's for an apple iple I guess.
I wouldn't have Howard and Talboys
suppose we didn't keep a iprofession,al
cook, for any money. If Cathie was only
Mi. Verdun dropped the cabbage leaves
one lip one,'meditatively, into the pot as
'Sure, sir l' interposed the staring
handmaiden, czoissis always washes them
'Washes 'em?' ejaculated Mr. Verdon.
"What,s the use of that when the pot's
'fulla. water ? But women always
go to worPhy the hardest way.'
'Give us that tongue, Polly, and a
sharp knife—suppose the plaguy thing
has g3t, to be skinned. Hat--too
Mr. Verdon uttered an agonized howl
as the l knife slipped, inflicting a disagree.
able 'gash on his hand. He tied it up
with;his handkerchief and went on with
his rather difficult job.
'There !' he exclaimed, as he triumph
antly jammed the tongue claim among
the cabbage leaves, 'that's dOne. But
Pm afraid my fish is quite old--doesn't
fry at all favorably. Perhaps Y ought to
grease the pan!'
He took the fish out the tail and
annointed the hissing pan liberally with
butter; then set the establishment on the
Bitt just as ho was' bending orer the l ,
fire,: his sleeves turned back, and his
countenance dripping with perspiration
there was a sudden sibtllation and an up
ward blaze—the butter bad taken Ifre—
so had Mr. Verdonte hair and shirt
Luckily be had presence of mind
enough to dip his face and arms instan
tancasly in the pail of water .that stood
in the sink and at the moment that be
stock' there scorched and drippinr• with
singed hair and no coat; over the hi k
flavored ruins of the luckless coda
Polly threw the kitchen door wide
and announced : I
'Please sir, two gentlemen l'
And dessrs. Howard and Talboys
tared, considerably surpriSed at the e
of things bofore them. 1
. 'Hallo l' exclaimed Mr. Talboys. ;y
'Why, .what's the a matter, Verd
queried Mr. Howard. 'Not a ens
spontaneous 'combustion, °lir
While Alexander, scarlet and Conti
fambled vainly for the linen caff3,l
nished with gold sleeve-buttons, the
blazed into light cinders long ago I I
'l—l,' he stammered. 'Very sti
of the girl to bring you down her:,
just came down for a glass of watitr-r—
-me escort you up stairs.' i 1
He preceded his guests up the
1 n arrowo
stairway, blissfully unaware of the ashes
; besprinkled nether garments and sooty
countenance' that gave his friends such a
task to keep their countenances. 1
'Excuse me one minute, gentlemen,'
I he said, growing hot all over, as he
caught a gliMpse of himself in the pail°
mirror, and dodged out to renovate his
toilet, muttering to himself: 1
;What has bee mac of Cathie 7 I'd give
a 'hundred dollar note if she wasl only
lijre l' i
As ho issued once more from his room
a oft familiar voice sounded on hiis ear,
and his heart gave a great bound Of de
light. Cathie had retained! Yed, she
had returned ! and was) in the par or at
that instant talking to his friends.
"Cathie!' he whispered, holding the;
deor half ajar, 'Cathie!'
But she was too busy descanting on
the merits of .some Pre-Raphmlito !artist
to pay any attention to her husband's
husky summons. 1
'lt's burning, Cathie l' he whispered
coming into the roam and gently twitch
i ing her sleeve. 1 1 -
1 'I smell the cabbage quite plaialyl'
Bat Cathie never stirred,lnor broke off
in her pretty, enthusiastic chatter. 1
.1 think I ought to have greased ,the
inside of that-pot,' thoiight Mr. Vernon.
'Nothinr , but tongue and cabbage fir din
ner. And Howard boards at the' Cos
mopolitan, and. Talboys keep a French
cook. What will they think ? Cathie, I
say—it's almost three o'clock.'
"Dinner's ready,' ejaculated !Miss
Polly, throwing open the door. 1
Dinner was ready, as Mr. Verdon
found to his cost, as he and Talboys fol
lowed Mrs. Verdon and Mr. Howarid into
the :Hain , ' b room, where, upon a greasy
table-cloth, reposed a skinned tongue,
with one side nesrly calcined, and a hand
ful of burned cabbage leaves for Ming a
green island in the center of a mammoth
platter. There was a half loaf'of bread,
a sooty pot of butter and a tall tin . Coffee
pot wherein Polly had brewed a muddy
and villainous mixture that she fOndly
fancied to be coffee. 1
Alcsande.r Vordon looked with eyes
Of piteous appeal to his wife.
'Cathie, perhaps these gentl i emen
wouldn't object to waiting until--ahem
—our cook could preparea more suitable
V- id 31r. Talbr
ery goo., in. eed,' sail .r. Talhoys.
'Oh, excellent,' chimed in Howard.
'And after all,' resumed Cathie, t
of very little consequence what we eat or
drink, as long as the higher craving's of
the intellectual appetite are satisfied?
Mr. Perdu- coughed dabioasly, and,
began to carvelhe tongue, vowing never
again to invite company when Cathie was
occupied in cultivating, her mind.
The gentleman played with their, tea-I
spoons, and dallied with their forks; bat
neither of them essayed a cecond mouth
ful of either tongue; cabbage or coffee.--
Ir. Verdon noticed this fact withldeep
"'You don't eat anything Howard! )
'Oh,I have dined very heartily, I assure
you,' politely responed 3lr. Howard.
'Have a little more of the tongue' Tal
'No more,thanlr you,' returned Taboys,
spasmodically holding on to his plate.'
'Howard, I think we have an engage
ment at four ?
'lf our charminn.p and. intellectual hos
tess will excuse as?' said iloward,frwing
'Won't you stay for a little ice cream
—and--calves ) foot jelly? questioned
Mr. Verdon, drawing on his imagination
for a hypothetical desert.
i 'Thank you, we couldn't possibly said
Mr. Talboys. And Mr. 'Verdun could
not avoid a dim preeeption that his guests
were glad to depart.
When he returned from seeing them off
Cathie was sitting in the parlor, witting
the leaves of a new volume.
'Oh, Catherine!' he said, half Sadly,
half angrvly, 'why didu,t you go down
and see a - IK , tit dinner?
'Dinner n•repeated Cathie, with !wide
open blue: eyes. - - I Why, Ale; I thect you
wished me to become intellectual. I Pm
sure you said youraelf that domestic, cares
ought to be secondary to the cultivation
of my intellectutd nature l'
Alexander Verdon banged the door and
strode off down . stairs in
_a genuine rage.
wonder,' he thought,' 'lf this state of
things is inevitable. go and see
vie—hanged if I don't.'
And he clapped on his hat and straight
.It was nearly twilight of a cold Decent
lber day, when beientdred Dr. Ogilvie's
parlor. The furniture was !shabby and
thatched with dust-4he torn curtains
hung drearily from their hobki, and an
ash - fire was smouldering in the grate.
while Ogilve himself robed tin a faded
dressing gown, sat in an easY chair amok
ing„a cheap cigar
'Ogilvie ); said' Mi. Verdon, after the
preliminarY salutations had been exohang
ed, want to ask you a question.'
'Well I' I f
'Your wife is a cultivated'woman I'
'Yed,she's that, and she's nothing else,'
groaned poor Ogilve. 'f
'My wife is not—that is intellect is not
her forte. She,s a dear, 1 sweet domestic
little thing, with, no particular taste for
metaphysics or transcenjental theories.—
Now, would you advise me to make an
intellectual women of her—a woman for
instance, like yonr wife ?'
'Would I advise yen to take atychine
or jump off into the river at - high tide 1'
Man, if you've got a wife like that don't
for pity's sake try tot alter her instinct I
Take her as she is, and be thankful from
the bottom of your heart I Sure you don't
want to live tike this 1'
He looked with a scornful shrug of the
shoulders around the faded, desolate room
and added : '
'My wife shines in society--this is our
And Alexander Verdon took his leave
fully cured of the ambition to have his
little Cathie like llrs. Ogilvie..
'Cathie,' he said ? somewhat sheepishly,
as he once more came to the little table,
where she was droWsily cutting the self
same leaves,iyou. I have consulted my
wishes in one thing will you consult them
'Leave off trying to become a Madam
de Stael,' and be my own little Cathie
once more.' '
The bright color flushed to her temples.
'But I thought you wanted an intelleec-
Wel wife, Alice ?'
'My dear, I fancied that I did,but I,w
entirely' convlnced that I have been
an egregiods fool.' '
- Which vas so very unprecedented a
declaration for Mr. !Alexander Verdon to
make that we think his wife entirely jus
tified in acceding td this new proposition.
And so the little household fairy came to
his hearthstone once more and the shirts
and dinners are nearer perfection than ev
er. But. Catharine has learned one les
son,' she has becothe a companion to her
hustand, in the highest sense of the word
can (read and talk almost as well as she
can !keep house.
Help your rather,
1 34 hands are BO stiff I can hardly hold
a pen,' said Farmer Wilbur, as he eat
down to figure out somd accounts that
were getting behindhand.
'Could I help you, father ? said Lacy,
laying down her bright eroehet work.—
'I should be glad to, if I only knew what
yon wish written.'
'Well, I shouldn't wonder if you could
Lucy,' he said reflectively. - 'Pretty good
at figures, are you
'lt would be a fine story if I did not
know something of them after going
twice thfough the arithmetic,' said Lucy,
'Well, I can show you in five minutes
what I have to do, and it will be power- ,
ful help,if you can do it for me. I never
was a master hand at accounts in my best
days. and it does not grow any easier, as
I see,since I put on specs' ,
Very patiently did the helpful &ugh
ter ,plod through the long' dull line of
figiires, leaving the gay worsted work to
lie idle all the evening, though she was
in such haste to finish her scarf. It was
regard enough to see her tired father '
had been toiling all day for herself and
the other dear ones, sitting so cosily in
his easy chair ' enjoying his weekly paper
as, it only can be enjoyed in a country
home, where news from the great world
beyond comes 'seldom, and is eagerly
The clock struck nine before her task
was over, but, .the hearty 'Thank yon,
daughter, a thousand times,' took away
all sense of weariness.
iirather looking up, when a man
can have an amanuensis,' said the father.
'lt is not every farmer that I nn afford it.'
'Nor every farmer's daughter that is
capable of making one,' said the mother, ,
with a little pardonable maternal - pride: I
'Nor every one that would be' willing,
if she were able,' said Mr. Wilbur—which
last was a sad truth. How naany_daugh-
ten might be of use to their fathers in
this and many other waysa who never
TERRES,--$1.50 PER ANNUM
think of lightening ti care or labor I. If
asked to perform some little-service, it is
done at best 'with a reluctant step and an
unwilling air; which rob it of all sunshino
or claim to gratitude.
Gij ls,. help your father : give him a
eheegul home to rest in when evening
comes, and do not %rem his life away by
fretting became ho cannot afford you all
the luxuries you covet. Children exert
as great an 'alliance on their perents,
pareata do on their children. _
- A Phase cirSairatogleLlte:
..Hare is a specimen 'furnished by Cipt.
Pan] the . Saratoga correspondent of the
New York **met , .
1 .1 have bedn terribly shocked. For one
whole week, my most ardent, sympathies
Were excited at the sickl,y,languid aptiear•
ance of a young lady , who had , a seat
directly oppostte tee every day at the din
ner table; her form was emaciated, her
akin perfectly tranEpaarent, and a death
like hue cecined to pervade the whole
atmosphere about her ; thel eyes shone
with nnnatural brilliancy, and under them
was pre eptible the inevitable blue-black
coloring—the telltald of a deb,anche.
lonffed for an introduction that I might
recomond the application offresh oysters
or a bloodsucker; but failing of an. opor
tuuity to secure this privilege,l besought
a lady friend to suggest these applications.
!La mo,' she exclaimed in utter amaz6-
went, 'why how verdant you are ; don't
you know that the lady paints her lower
eyelids 7' It was indeed too true" as I
have since ascertained? positively. She
for whom my whole soul has yearn - ed in
sympathy for a week, was daubed allover
with paint,and most shockingly disfigured
herself to gratefy a prurient taste to be in
the extreme; fashion, Looking around
me at the dinner-table to day I saw no
less than six ladies disfigured by a daub
of blue-black paint on the lower eyelids.
The next fashion posibly may require
ladies to wear rings in their noses, It is ,
bad enaugh to wear paste diamonds and
pinchbeck jewelry ; but when earth'o,
angels begin to paint about the eyes,wear
false busts, and false hair in a bag behind
their heads, to what extremes may wci
expect; the dear creatures to go ?'
A peculiar kind of grit, not frilling
under any of the special expressions I
have noted, pet partaking in some Ogree
of all, is illustrated •in the character of
Lieatenant-General Grant.. Without an
atom of pretension or rhetoric, !with
none of the external signs of energy and
intrepidity, making no parade of the im
movable purpose,iron nerve, and iilent
penetrating inteligence' God has I put
Into him, his tranquil greatness is hidden
from superficial scrutiny behind a cigar,
as President Lincoln's is behind a joke.
When anybody tries to coax, cajole, over
awe, browbeat or de.reive Lincoln, the
President nurses his leg, andis reminded
of a story; when anybody .tries the.same
game with Grant, the General listens and
—,smokes. If you try to wheedle oat of
him his plans for a campaign, he stolidly
smokes; if you call him an imbecile and
a blunderer, he blandly lights another
cigar ; if you praise him as the greatest
General living, he Placidly returns the
puff from his cigar; and if you tell him
he should run for th Presidency, it does
not disturb the equiminiity with. he in
hales and exhales the unsubstantial
pot which typifies - the politician's prom
, ises. While you are wondering w h at
' kind of man this creature without a-tongue
is, von are suddenly electrified with the
new of some splendid victory, proving,
that 'behind the cigar, and behind the
face d ischarged of all toll-tale expression,
elsthe best brain to Plan and the strong
t heart to dare among the Generals of
Republic. -Atlantic for Apra.'
How TO BE HEmersrr.--Rtse early—
breathe in th l e bracing air, and exercise
yourself in splitting wood, bringing water,
shoveling snow, or working a token or
two at the press.
Retire to bed in good season. Never
spend the whole night in the ball room,
or amid exciting scenes. The night was
made for rest.
A mean and miserly disposition—a
hoggish soul and a morose charactsr, are
detrimental to health. Beware of them.
Be kind, cheerful, social, benevolent.
Suffer no cloud to linger on 'your brow,
nor revenge to spring up in your bosom.
Follow these simple rule 4 day by ; day
and Yon will seldom be afflicted withittio
gout; cholie, fever, or the thousanalills
whidh follow in the train of luxury, late
holds, morning snoozes, midnight camas.
als , d lazy indolence. . :
A POSER.—The 'Charleston_ corres
pondent of-the Boston AdvertZler says
that a planter was lately overheard scold-
ing a negro for lazina - s.--"Yon lazy 'nig
ner,l" said he, "I aei losing a whole day's
labor by your "31assa," retorted the
negro, many days' labor I..i'lte I lost
by You?" The planter considered the