v H , M yt .y THE BLtSSIKGS OF GOVERNMENT, LIKE THE DEWS OF HEAVEN SHOULD BE DISTRIBUTED ALIKE UPON THE HIGH AND THE LOW, THE RICH AND THE POOR. imv SERIES. EBENSBURG, AUGUST 25, 1858. VOL.. 5. NO 41. TERM S: DEMOCRAT & SENTINEL" IS TUR lihed every Wednesday Morning at ,f Dollar ami Fifty Cesits per annum payable in Advauce, SE DOLLAR ASP SEVEXTT-FIVE GTS. H r,t paid witliin six months, and TWO DOLLARS until the termination ot the year. be taken for a shorter ubscrilicr will be until all ar option of the v.cnKs nption will i m. tii ,1k months, and no Utertv t discontinue his paper Arc jmid, except at the miscellaneous. GUILTY, BUT DRUNK. BY COL, BRADBURY, ,,..r,on subscribing for six months will be "v"r '-i one LI.a K. unless the money is paid .idvcrtislng' It airs. (hit iurtrl'i. Tiro do. 'Three do ..tur ('UP"1 I jll.ir: , VI lines 24 lines'! oG lines I .pire, f 12 lines ;,r,arS 'J4 lines sjiMP-s, lines I ;,;f column, .,.f.i!!!t!lil. A'l advertisome 50 1 00 i :.o months, it 50 . 4 f, 10 15 1 50 oo on oo 00 I -J 00 no il.i. $:5 00 4 50 7 00 0 00 12 00 2 "J OO 11 00 2 00 3 00 12 do $5 00 It is a well known fact that oftentimes Loth those jokes which are called 'practical,' and that liquor which is termed 'bad,' have been productive of exceedingly evil consequences; but whether the liquor or the joke has done the most mischief", we are not called on just cow to deter miuc. We propose to make I mention of an affair where liquor and a prac tical joke wore productive of the very best j consequences imaginable. I Many years ago, while the State of Geor ! gia was hi its iufancy, an eccentric creature I nauicd Brown, was one of its circuit judges. J Jle was a man of considerable ability, of in i flexible integrity, and much loved and res- 12 00 14 00 20 00 Co 00 its must be marked with t "f insertions desired, or they will be wm-A until forbid, and charged accordingly. Cljoicc fJoctrn. THE LAST 'GOOD-NIGHT.1 "n'i'Oii nh.ht good-night!" a silvery voice lung through my midnight dream: J.:.l a fair young face with tlowing curls I'b.yhed in the fanciM stream ': the ni'tonlight on my curtaiuel couch With 'v.-ildcring tender beam. (i.j jiiglit!" broke from my answering tol.glle. A the beauteous shape was gone; 1 woke as the distant clock tilled out fi. hour of another dawn; Aa t the holy moon was smiling down 0u the cottage porch and lawn. She is ilevl !" a voice sobicd faiutly forth; 1 knew she had gone before! Tuher 5-et"liool.night!" n;y waking ear WouM never listen more ! TV Vauvu anpel. Death, had come, Anl opened the pearly door. At., down in her 'nedroom's mc'.lowed light I.y f Von Dec, white and fair; With the 'itying :noobeaui on her brow Ami the curl of golden hair: Hut I thought of the spirit above the btavs. And only the ca.skct there. Young: Ladies' Letters. Tie ej isto'atory correspondence bet ween un ErrieJ, yet marriageable youug ladies, is .iV) be intensely interesting, particular- j iuitho parties immedia'oly concerned. It J i rare, however, that any sample of this cou- j ikittil gnpsip meets other eyes than those for whose inspection it is coueocted. lut Jj'iLny .Moony, a little roguisu cuap, seeing "Die papers drop from a pkirt pocket of 3Iiss '.tui'Ji JJogjrs, at a moment when she was K'"iti2 to gather touch-me-nots in the back prJcii, slyly secured one of tiie documents, w Lurried off to consult his uncle as to iti ue. Uucle Michael, on perusal, adjudged toVe worth more to the printer than to any isee.se Indeed he said it would gratify Ac orVl more than any disclosure of the Mcreis of Freemasonry. So Johnny dis paicLed the missive accordingly; and here it is: ;AJJress: "Miss Araninta Z. Fitzradish, 007 Beacon street." 308 Jicacon Xtrett, Aug. 1. "I'ear Minty You can't think how lone snse I've been since you went home last cven I wanted to show you my new collar. 'unistus Edward came in this morning. it's a deliehtful fellow, and gav as a lark. i s mother died suddenly about half an hour 1 fore. Don t you think he a;-ked my ago. ow funnj! I said, how old do you think? ineteen or twenty, said . he. 1 tol'J him, ns I, a little more than that for you know, V"mty, that I shan't be less than thirty-four uen the twentieth day of next November uics. I've had a cresent of three vards of Wautiful ribbon from Aunt Mary. I took the Wilv record, and altered the day of mv V.rth" from 1824 to 1838; for I think Augus" s'opioion is better than father's old musty morandums. Charles Usury is anxious "'in introduction to Jane Elizabeth Smith. 'krnd. Jphraim, our man, went and "":t l three of the kittens. Eph. is going , :ve me an elegant boquet. I dou't like aluine Peevers she wears a shocking &jsnet. I must quit here, and nish after frit 1 ! " Ji - uew -aress oi iua s is . (.Here endeth the first instalment. J udge Jones, of 9 0) ! pected by all the legal profession, but he bad ono common fault, iiis social qualities would lead him, despite his jndgmeut, into frequent excesses- in travelling Hie circuit, it was ) his almost invariable habit, the night before j opening tue court, to get "comtortanly corn ed" by means of appliances common upon such occasions. If he could not succeed while operating upon his own hook, the members of the bar would generally turn in and help Lim. It was in the spring of the year. Taking his wife a model of a womai in Ii3r way in the old fashioned but strouj "carryall," be journeyed some forty miles aud reached a vil lage where court was to be opened the next day It was along iu the evening of Sunday thai he arrived at the place and took up quar ters with a relation of his better half, by whom the presence of an official dignity was considered an honor. After supper Judge Brown strolled over to a tavern in the town, where he found many old friends, called to the place, like him, on important professional ou siness, and who were properly glad to see him. "Gentlemen," siid the Judge, "tis a loDg time since we enjoyed a social glass together let us take a driuk all round. Of course Sterrit, (addressing the landlord,) you have better liquor than you had the last time that we were here the stuff that you had here then was not fit to give a dog!" Sterrett, who had charge of the house, pre tended that everything was right, aud so they went to work. It is unnecessary to describe a driuking bout in a couutry tavern it will answer our purpose to stat that somewhere in the region of midnight, the Judge wended his very 'devious' way towards his temporary home. About the time he was it aving, how ever, some young barristers, fond of a "prac tical," and not much afraid of the bench, transferred all the silv.'r spoons of Sterrett to the Judge's coat poeket. It was eight o'clock on Monday morning that the Judge arose. Having indulged in the comforts of ablution aud abtterrali on, and partaken of a cheerful and refreshing break fars, he went to hij room to prepare himself for the duties of the dav. Well, Poliy," said "he to his wife, "1 feol much better thn I expected to feel, after that frolic of last night." All, Judge, you are getting too old, you ought to leave off that bus-incss," said she reproachfully. "Ah, Polly ! what is the use of talking':" It was at this precise instant of time that the JuJge, having put on his overcoat, was proceeding according to his usual custom, to tling with him for aside from the fact that the Judge's integrity was unquestionable, he bad an inkling of the joke that had been play ed. The Judge took his beat in court; but it was observed that he was sad and melan choly, and that his mind freqently wandered from the business before him. There was a lack of the sense and intelligence that usually characterized the proceedings. beveral days passed away, and the ousiness of the court was drawing towards a close, when one morning a rough sort of a customer was arraigned on the charge of stealing. Af ter the Clerk bad read the indictment to him, he pul the question: "Guilty or not guilty?" ''Guilty tut drun7c," answered the prison er. "What's the plea?" exclaimed the Judge, who was half dozing on the bench. "He pleads guilty, but says he was drunk." "What's the charge against the man:" "Grand larceny." "Whats the case?" "May it please your honor," said the pros ecuting attorney, "the man is regularly in dicted for stealing a large sum of money from the Columbus Hotel." "lie is, bey? and he pleads " "Guilty, hut drunk!" The Judge was now fully aroused. "Guilty, lut drunk! That is a most ex traordinary plea. Young man are you cer tain you were drunk?" "Where did you get your liquor?" "At Sterrett's." "Did you get none anywhere else?" "Not a drop, sir." "You got drunk on his liquor, and after wards ptole his money." "Yes, sir." "Mr. Prosecutor," said the Judge, "do me the favor to enter a Wc pn srqni in that man's case That liquor at Sterret's is enough to mako a man do anything. got drunk on it the otlicrday, myself, and stole all of Ster rett's spoens ! Helcase the prisoner, Mr. Sheriff; I adjourn the court!" Fio:n lland.ill'o Life of JeiT.rson. JEFFERSON AND MADISON COMPARED. A correspondence of a free and closely con fidential character in regard to measures of government continued to be maintained be tween the late and acting president the only example of the kind, it is believed, in our history. The relations which existed between Jefferson and Madison were not those merely of kiudred politicians, who had acted long and harmoniously together, or of every day social friends. The were the strongest ties which cau knit those of the same sex togeth er similar principles, similar intellectual ca pacities, sunilar-uegrees or knowledge, simi lar tastes and views, and finally similar per sonal interests for witli so general a concur rence on political questions, the public for tunes of the men had become necessarily em barked in the same bottom. They were just discovered, that this was not the roost suc cessful way of keeping the public favorites from the presidency. Certainly no similar tacties were resorted to by any party for ma ny subsequent years. Then, as heretofore remarked, it was Jefferson who was founder of the obnoxious system, the aoostle of the bated creed; and on such the rage of oppo nents, and particularly of conquered oppo nents; falls with tenfoll more violcuce than on the lieutenant or successor, however close ly he may follow in the footsteps of his pre decessors. But, in truth, Madison owed much of his immunity to a kind of prudence which Jeff erson never possessed.,, He so far concurred in all the practical political views of the for mer that it would be very difficult, we appre hend, to point out an important difference. Nay; he had separated from the first great President, who had so loved and trusted him, co tollow tne standard of Jenerson. He sat eight years in the cabinet of the latter with out a recorded nonioncurrence of views. But in expressing an opinion for the public ear, i fit i. ue eareiuny anstainca irom all but the pure logic of argument. He went not a word bc- yound the necessary point He questioned no one's motives he retaliated no hostile per sonal assault. He never suffered an extra neous sentiment, calculated to provoke preju dice, to creep into his writings, or even his conversation. Where such expressions be necessary, he guarded, so far as circumstan ces would allow, against their publicity; and he took especial pains to recall and destroy his private political correspondence, Jefferson, on the other hand, was a per fectly fearless talker and writer. We fiud him making some efforts, ir his early career, to prevent the publication of letters which might compromise him as the leader of a par ty, and always dreading to get into newspa pers; but an inspection of his entire corres pondence will show that no man was ever more gratuitously open on the most danger ous topics. It was next to impossible for him to suppress an abstract conclusion crowing out of or suggested by his topic, however much to his keen knowledge of men might ad monish him of the danger thus incurred. In bis conversation he was btill more communi cative His political lieutenants ofteu stood aghast at his freedom. And he ndde.1 great ly to the effect of his disclosures by the ener gy of his expressions. The thought that, ut tered by another, would have attracted little notice, often hissed like a fiery missile in his nervous and burning diction, And it also often happened that the pith of his expression kept the Congreve rocket flying, which other wise wdM!d have speedily dropped to the eround. The effect of his startliu abstrac- Mr. Madison too had the old school ele gance and super-abounded with information. His discourse, without being djdactic or fri gid, was weighty. He, perhaps, was never impassioned and was rather taciturn in pub lic. Bui among private friends be was a u;v lifi'htful and humorous talker; and in very small and very confidential circles, blazed out into unrestraiacd facetiousoess.aed occasional VirlUIint fl-icto of trif TT tnld n storv nd- I to think OH. mirably, and had e loug list of pet anecdotes I the whirling thong, t which their victim al- 1 tiog on tne suittis: tions has already been illustrated in the case of conservative and excellent Charles Carroll. Mr. Jefferson, in the animation of writing and speaking, generally forgot to put in the, full-crown disciple. itations the "its' and "buts, which not agaidst Jefferson, at ways laughed until his eyes ran over. Many of these have been repeated to us by those "who were there to see." We wisb we could five specimens; but the aroma would all ex ale in the recital. Some,' perhaps, most of them, indeed, require the living narrator, as their humor depends more upori the manner than the matter. Mr. Madison's fund of ge niality aud liveliness was "inexhaustible, ami it defied age of pain. A geutleman who was intimate at Montpelicr, long after its owner's retirement, mentioned to us visiting him on one occasion, when he was severely indisposed and confined to his bed, When the family and guests sat down to dinner, the invalid desired the door of his apartment to be left open "so that he could hear what was going on." Every few momeuts he was heard to cry out in a feeble but most humorous voice, "Doctor, are you pushing about tha bottles? do your duty, Doctor, or I must cashier you." lie had the power of completely interest ing and amusing Jefferson in any of the moods of his mind, and this is no small bond of amity between even grave statesmen. A compauion to unbend with before whom care and blue-devils always fly is a very serious luxury to a king or a beggar; is one that mon archs cannot always command. And when this player on David's harp is, additionally, the stealy friend and trusted counsellor, the luxury becomes as complete as it is unusual. Jefferson and Madison delighted to mani fest their confidence in each ether. When Malhion was asked his opinion by a common friend, he very often replied by putting an other question, "What says Mr. Jefferson?" Ask Jefferson for information and he would not.unfrcquently answer, "Go to Mr. Mad ison; that was his measure; he knows a good deal more about it than I do." On beiuj; told this, Madison would smiliugly say "It was his measure, not aiiue, I only helped carry it iiuo execution." They always spoke of each othe: with warm expressions of re spect and attachment. We mention these facts on the authority of thosif who were in timately familiar with them, and that of members of their respective families. The late President, as'has bjensaid, freely corresponded with his successor on public af -fairs. But he did not fall into the senile j mistake of putting on Mentor like airs to the "SoMETnixo Elsh to Think Ox." This phrase originated with Dr. Chalmers, anrl is thus illustrated by Henry Rogers: "You remember the coachman who sail to the gentleman on the box, 'Do you sco that off leader there, sir? 'Yes: what of bim 'lie always shies when he comes to that 'ere gate. I must giv him something else -So sooner sad than up went and came down full of iU had something else to think en, co time For panic, r affected panic, and flew past the gate like lightning If we can but give yonth, ill time, 'something else to think on wo may keep oal of their minds, by pre-occupation, more evil than x?e can ever directly expel. One of the essential properties of matter may be said to be also one of the ?s sential properties of mind, impenetrability. It is as impossible, that two thoughts can co exist in the same mind at the same time, as that two particles of matter can occupy tha same &nace." A Nick Point of Law. Two Quakers ap plied to their Society, as they do not go to law, to decide the following difficulty. A ia uneasy about a ship that ought to have arri ved, and meets B, an insurer, and states hia wishes to have the vessel insured. The mat ter is agreed upon. A return home, and re ceives a letter informing him of the lors of his ship- Whit shall he do? He is afraid the policy is not filled up. and bhould B hear of the matter soon, it is all over with him; he therefore writes to B thu?: "Friend B, if thee hasn't filled up the policy, the needn't, for I've heard of the ship." "Oh. oh!" thinks B to bimsc-lf, "cunning fellow; he wants to do me out of the premium." So he writes thus to A: "Friend A, thee be'tt too late by half au hour; the policy is filled." A rubs his hands with dehght; yet IS refuses to pay. well, wnat is tne is divided between them. decision? The loss or of descending to de li um give bis wife a parting iciss, that ue happene-t, in thrusting his hand into his pocket, to lay hold of Sterret's spoons. lie jerked them out. With an expression of horror, almost incredi ble, he exclaimed "My God! Polly!" "Why, what on earth's the matter, Judge?" "Just look at these spoons. "Dear me, where did you get them?" "Get them? Don't you see the initials on them?" extending them towards her. "I stole thtm!" "Stole then.?" "Yes. stole them." "31y dear husband, it can't be possible! from whom?"' "From Sterrett, over there, his name is on them:" "Good heavens, how could it happen?" I know very well, Polly I was very drunk when I came home last night was I not?" "Why Judge, you know your old habit when you get among a lot of those lawyers." 'But I was very drunk: "Yes, yon icas Indiana who S3 'vr allows a chance for a joke to pass him. upied the bench when it became necessary "Diam n itircwuo in a enf in whir-li 1. . i - J J -" y'Ker was an illiterate Hibernian, the latter uermau iu uis moues oi expression. . 'iu uutccucu iu loon, iuuuu me room '-arcu of a person to fill the vacant seat, is Lis I e espied a Dutch Jew and claimed him owq. The Dut;h ; i unstnand gout Englese." 'What ;.l l. .? t - v um uu mji eaiu mcjuage. 'leant uasthaud'7xe Euglese," he Uej. re- . . seat. that's no excuse: you're not likely fwyof it!' J l ithat dec3sion he toot k1 aat Wh o ,i was not 13 cotapjtoat as any iae ''ntlllgCatj1lry.,, Was I remarkably drunk, when I got home?" Yes, J udge, drunk as a fool and forty times as stupid." "I thought so," said the Judge, dropping into a chair in extreme despondency "knew it would come to that at last. I have always thought that something bad would happen to me that I would do something very wrong kill somebody in a moment of passion per haps but I never imagined that I could be mean enough to bo guilty of such deliberate larceny. "But there may be some mistake Judge." "No mistake, Polly. I know very well how it all came about. That fellow Sterrett, keeps the meanest sort of liquor and always did liquor mean enough to make a man do any sort of a mean thing. I always said it was mean enough to make a man steal, and now I have a practical illustration of the fact!" and the poor man burst into tears. "Dou't be a child," said his wife, wiping away the tears; "go over to Sterrett and tell him it was a Httle bit of a frolic. Pass it '6ff as a joke; go and opn court, and nobody will think of it again." A little of soothing system operate! upon the Judge, as such things usually do; his ex treme mortification was finally subdued, and V. . . '. fa , over to oterrett fcfl went with a tolerable far enough removed from each other by the difference of age and experience for one to naturally lead aud the other to gracefully fol low; and ysl they wore not sufficiently apart to bring tho dissimilar feelings of widely sep arated epochs of life into inharmonious con tact. Madison was still in the full meridian of manhood, (oS;) Jefferson had not passed tho mellow autumn of old age, (GG.) There were enough minor contrasts in their mind and manners to give au agreeable pi quancy to their intercourse Madison was purely a rcasoncr; he was an unrivalled logi cian. Jefferson could reason if the occasion demanded; but it was rather bis taste and habit to reflect silently, and only announce naked and sententious conclusions. He was averse to personal argumentation, and he ab horred it when it approached the precincts of controversy. It has otten been said that Alad ison was a shade the most conservative He was naturally, probably, several shades more conservative, and he had far more caution. He struck not out on so bold a wing into theory conformed not practice to theory to fearlessly and had not the same daring decis ion to defy the world on the strength of an intellectual, a moral, or a political conviction He had less nerve, less of that force of will which sweeps along everything in its course, less marked and salient points of every de scription, lie also had less genius But Mr. Madison had equal talent, a sufficiency of passive firmness, more circumspection, and if he did not naturally and resistlessly control the portion of society inclined towards his views, he did not rouse a war, adintcrnccio- nem with the other portion by his boldness auu cut. nieuey ui ma auiaguuiffui. Jefferson was one of the kindest-hearted and most philanthropic men of his time, but he stands caricatured in the minds of many candid persons into a personification of intol erance, nay, ferocious bigotry, because he al ways rpoke out and wrote out all ho thought at the moment. His language never held from view a fiery tinge of the feeling that dic tated it; he never smothered either the spark or the flame. There was a special excuse for him. He was engaged in a contest with a party who had without piovocation transcen ded a!l the decencies of civilized life in their assaults on him, and to whose false, coarse, malignant, insulting and persistent accusa tions his own replies were only the milk of retaliation. John Adams was a well abused man, but the depraved ingenuity of his tor mentors never invaded the domestic circle, to strike at him through the feelings of his chil dren to charge him with practices within that circle, and under the knowledge of his daughters, which ef all others, would have been most revolting to the pride or womau bood, the most lacerating to the respect and tenderness of filial love. The persecution and calumny which dogged Jefferson to the gra7e, and did not evea then cease, fell lightly on Madison. There were, nprbsns. t"o tit three reasons for this. Per- only take off the sharp edge of the thought, but leave such convenient hobs for prudent men to creep out at ! face. Of ctmrae he had little difficulty in set- j haps Mr, Jefferson's adversaries had at length Far be it from us to intimate that any lit tle cunning, much less a shade of duplicity, marked the character of Madison. Nature bad constituted him a different man, in some particulars, from his predecessor; and it was as appropriate and right that tho one should follow out his own peculiarities as the other. Men may not only differ, without blame, in their modes of aeiion, but cacb will play his part most efficiently who plays hia natural one. If, when extraneous moot questions came up,. Madison relapsed into grave silence it was like Washington; if he parried un necessary curiosity by a neat turn, it was like Franklin. His caution was purely defensive. He never employed it to assail, or surprise, or take an advantage of an opponent It was the result of temperament, and not of cowar dice. He was passionless, because reason and logic guided the steady movements of all his faculties. It has been perhaps already remarked that Jefferson and Madison were peculiarly calcu lated to be useful to each other. One promp ted the other restrained. One determined the other followed up an .1 supplied the chain of argument, or like the cable trier, cautiously smote each link, to make sure that it had no flaw. They also had that difference iu personal peculiarities Which seasons intercourse, and draws closer the bands of friendship. Jef ferson was six feet two and a half inches in height; Madison five fest and between six and six and a half inches. Jefferson's move ments were unrestrained, swinging and bold; Madison's, though graceful, were precise. Calm authority sat in Jefferson's eye, an I lurked in the firm intonations of his voice. In a stage-coach, in a crowd, in any situa tions, he at once attracted notice at once was recognized by high and low as a leader of men. The iaipression which his looks conveyed was that of great firmness and gen tleness combined of powerful energy in per fect repose. Madison, in public, appeared to a stranger like a polished and contemplative professional man or student, who was taking a look out on the busy world. A characteristic of Mr. Jefferson's conver sation has been given its boldness. It did not. as he became advanced in life, often evince enthusiasm; he made no effort at sus tained brilliancy; and he utterly lacked wit. His discourse abounded with information and thought, and was garnished with old fash ioned courtesy and compliment, as old archi tecture exhibits rich and quaint carving. This was in the style of the pre-revolutionary court of Virginia, or of that of St. Louis XVI., partly rubbed off by latter associations. His conversation, however, was always pleas .. ... i ii :.u i. ing lo tue listeners, anu occasiuuauy uu young deepened into that earlier strain, when his thoughts spontaneously arranged them selves into the striking and stately diction of his early writisgs. It then fell with inde scribable force on th ears or uis narers. tails of advice after the manner of those con ceited and uneasy persons, who having once J acted an important part, are impressed with a j lively conviction that nobody will ever again entirely mi u mat aner uaiure creaieu luem selves she broke the mould of excellence. Jefferson' rarely gave an unasked opinion; and he gradually retrenched and finally al most discontinued writing to the President on nublic measures, owing to the foolish and scandalous insinuations of the press that the i.i l ..n.inM ri. :n-fli,A.if lailCl dClCU UUUCl UIS lUUUCUVib. Kiss or Fight. A stalwart young rustic, who was known as a formidable operator in a "free fight," had just married a blooming and beautiful country girl, only sixteen years of tige, and the twaiu were at a party where a number of young folks of both sexes were enjoying them selves in the good (?) old fashioned pawB playing style. Every girl in the room was called out and kissed except Mrs. , the beautiful bride aforesaid, and although there was not a youngster present who was not dy ing to get a taste of her lips, they were le strained by the presence of her herculean hus band, who stood regarding the party with sul len dissatisfaction. They mistook the cause of his anger, however, for suddenly, rolling up his sleeves, he stepped into the middle of the room, and, in a tone of voice that at once secured marked attention, 6aid: "Gentlemen, I have been noticing how things have been working here for some time, and I aiu t half satisfied. I don t want to raise a fuss, but " "What's the matter, John?" inquired half adozen voices. "What do you mean? Have we done anything to hurt your feeliugs?" "Yes, you have; all of you have hurt my feelings and I've just got this to say about it: Here's every gal ia the room been kissed nigh a dozen times a piece, and there's my wife, who I consider as likely as any of 'em, has not had a single one to-night; aud I just tell you now, if she don't get as many kisses the balance of the time as any gal in the room, the man that slights her has got to fight me that's all. Now go ahead with your plays!" .If Mrs. B was slighted during the balance of the evening we did not know it. As for ourselves, we know that John had no Z3T Many a glorious speculation has fail ed for the same good reason that the old Tex as Hanger gave when he was asked why ha didn't buy land when it was dog cheap. A correspondent tells the story : "Well, I did come nigh onto taking eight thousand acres onest, said old Joe, mourn fully, "leu see, two of the boys came in from an Indian hunt, without any chocs, and offered me their titles to the two leagues jut below here for a pair of boots.' "l or a pair of boots J I cried cut. "Yes, for a pair of boots for each league.' - "But why, on earth, didn't you take it ? They'd be worth a hundred thousand dollars to day. Why didn't you give them the boots V "Jest 'cause I didn't have the boots to give' said old Joe, as be took another chew of tobacco, quite as contented as if he owned the two leagues of land. "Dr. Thompson, 'mine host' of the At lanta Hotel, was in your Drawer," ys a Georgia correspondent, "as Judge Under wood's 'Know Nothing man.' The Doctor is a jolly, free-hearted Georgia landlord; but his wit is often blunt-pointed and misses fire, lie had furnished a hurried breakfast for J some Southern passengers by the cars bust ling about, with all sorts of hiter-skelter sayings. "Gentlemen, here's your breakfast. I've seen better, and I've seen worse.' "I never did see much worse. says ou of the passengers. The Doctor was taken down. As they rose to pass out, asking what was to pay. "Fifty cents down, or a dollar when we cht-re it,' said the Doctor. "Well, charge it, :hen, !aid our grum bling ftiend. "I'm sold!' said the Doctor. 'Go on, gentlemen; I'll charge it " llurpzr. A CORRESPONDENT of the Boston CvUritr suggests an important improvement in the mode of laying the rails on railroads, so that the end of one rail comes opposite to tho middle of thit on the other side; thus pre venting the jolt when both wheels of the axis pass over the connexim at the Fame time. This has been tried on the Boston and Maine road, and besides the additional security which it gives; it makes the motion of iba train more even and continuous, and the whole rail having the effect to lift the wheel over the opposite joint. It seems natural that safety, convenience and economy should result from this simple arrangement: and it is only singular that it has not been tested before. A Lady wrote upon a aiDdowsdmo ver ses intimating her design of never marrying. A gentleman wrote the following lines under neath: The huly whose resolve these words betoken, Wrote them on lass to fdiow they may bv broken. itJTThc Hatters' Bank, of Bethel, Conn., was robbed Sunday night last of about SSG, u ifit u:..j : v.:n r : i i i. -v- i. " i fault to find with us individually, for any nc- . ' tJnpA n lK ,r. gleet on cn our part. Many years ago old Mr. Coons attend ed to a bar and a small stock of goods for bis woithy son. who has since become somewhat famous as being the founder and for many years the master spirit of the town of Razor ville, Texas. The bar-room being large, and the stock of goods very small, they were kept in a large bar with the liquors, inclosed with a wooden grating. John M'Cabc, some what of a wag, was idling about the Lur-room and observing that the old gentlemau was careful to lock the door every time he came out of the bar, said : tions persons against receiving the bills of the bt ok, until further advised. Many men are very entertaining at a first interview, but then they arc exhausted; at a second meeting we find them flat and monotonous Like hand-organs we have heard all their tunes, and unlike those instru ments, they are net readily new-barrelled. Stephen H. Branch, editor of the Alli gator, convicted of libel on Mayor Tieinann. has been seutenced to ouo year's imprison ment and a fiue of 250. I "Uucle Coons, you needn't be so particu- i "I say, Pat, what are you about sweep lar to lock the door every time you come out. j mjr out tuat room: "o, answered rr.t A man couldn't make dav wages stealing out "I'm sweeping out the dirt and leaving tb of your store, anyhow." room.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers